06x11 - The Sunshine Boys

[bunniefuu]

* Sometimes the world
looks perfect

* Nothing to rearrange

* Sometimes you just
Get a feeling

* Like you need
some kind of change

* No matter what
the odds are this time

* Nothing's gonna
stand in my way

* This flame in my heart
like a long lost friend

* Gives every dark street
a light at the end

* Standing tall

* On the wings of my dream

* Rise and fall

* On the wings of my dream

* The rain and thunder

* The wind and haze

* I'm bound for better days

* It's my life and my dream

* And nothing's gonna
stop me now *

Cousin, what's a six letter word
for, "Do over?"

Repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat. The word is "repeat."

Well, love me tender
and call me Elvis.

Why you didn't say so
in the first place?

Appleton.

Yes, yes, sir,
I just finished it, sir.

There you are.

Bunky?

Larry Appleton.
It's been a long time.

You're lookin' good.
Well, so are you.

You, you haven't changed a bit.

You just look...richer.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, how is everything going?

Well, I have a penthouse
in New York, a villa in Capri

and a castle in Spain.
What do you think?

I think it must be tough
for you to run home for lunch.

This is my cousin, Balki.

Balki, Bunky. Bunky, Balki.

Balki.
Bunky.

Nice work, Appleton.
You may win a Pulitzer yet.

Bunky, it's been a pleasure.

A Pulitzer, say!

Appleton,
that's very impressive.

You've come a long way
since high school.

Well, we had some good times,
didn't we?

[CHUCKLES]

and we pretended we'd
run out of gas

and we made that poor sap
go back and get some,
and then we drove off?

[LAUGHS]

Yeah, that was me.

Oh, I must have been
thinking of that nerd

whose books
we always glued together.

Uh, me again.

Cousin, I'm confused,
were you the sap or the nerd?

No, I was the sap.

We did some pretty cruel things
to you in high school, Larry.

I'm really sorry about that.

Well, that's okay.

I, I guess everybody does some

stupid things
when they're young.

Boy, tell me about it.

who used to crow
like a rooster

and get the hens
all excited.

Say, Mr. Pulitzer,
The Beekman club's giving a

little formal
dinner dance on Saturday.

Why don't you come
as my guest?

The Beekman club?
Yeah.

Oh, you'll feel right at home.

All the old g*ng are members.

You mean Muffy,
Buffy, Fluffy?

[CHUCKLES]
And Biff, Cliff and Griff!

Sounds terriff!

Boy, you guys
are taking me back.

Clinki, Blinki, Dinki.

I love this guy!

You gotta bring him along.

Okay, dinner's at 9:00.

Well, Balki,
this is great!

This is something
I've been dreaming about
since high school.

Cousin, you've eaten out before.

No, I, I mean, this is,
this is a chance for me

finally to be, uh,
accepted by Bunky.

I mean, back in high school

They were the smartest,
the best looking,

the most popular.

They had the most fun.

And next week,
when I go to that party

and walk in
with Jennifer on my arm,

Bunky'll see that
I am Larry Appleton,

ace reporter
for the Chicago Chronicle,

he'll beg me to be
a member of that club.

Oh, it'll be Buffy,
Muffy, Fluffy

Biff, Cliff, Griff,
and Larry.

Well, Cousin,
that sounds great.

It sounds like you're gonna
have a wonderful time.

No, we'll have a wonderful time,
he invited you, too.

Well, Cousin,
I can't possibly go.

Balki, he invited you.

Bunky asked me to
bring you along.

You don't say no
to Bunky McDermott.

I'm not, I'm saying no to
Cousin McLarry.

All right.
All right, you're right.

There's absolutely
no reason for you to go.

Well, you're right.

You'll be bored.
That's right.

You can meet Wayne Newton
some other time.

[CHUCKLES]

Uh, Cousin, uh,
did-did you say that, uh,

Wayne Newton was
going to be there?

Of course.

Funny, Bunky,
uh, didn't say

that Wayne Newton
was going to be there.

Well, who do you think
Fluffy is?

Okay, now, we only have seven
hours till Bunky's party.

In two hours
I'll have a light snack

so I won't pig out
on the hors d'oeuvres.

And in three hours
and 15 minutes

I'll shave so I'll be smooth,
yet a little swarthy.

And, in four hours

the gold paint on
your credit card should be dry.

Cousin, uh, do you want me
to do the rest of your wallet?

Your, your library card,
sure looks a little shabby.

No, no, no, no.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Hello.

Oh, yeah,
hi, Bunkster! Yes!

Yeah, oh, no, we haven't
forgotten about the party.

No, Balki and I'll be there
with bells on.

Cousin, I get to wear my bells?

No, no you don't get
to wear your bells.

Oh!
Yeah, yeah, what's that?

Oh, uh, you and the g*ng just
got back from the Caribbean?

Well, well,
isn't that a coincidence?

So did Balki and I.

Yeah? Oh, yeah, no,
we love the tropics.

[CHUCKLES] Oh, yeah.
Sun and surf, surf and sun.

Right.

Okay. All right,
see you tonight.

Bye-bye.

Yes, I lied to Bunky.

Yes, I have a good reason.

I lied to Bunky so that I
wouldn't hurt their feelings.

Well, I think that--

and Bunky and his friends
find out we're the only ones

who haven't been
to the Caribbean,

they are going
to feel terrible.

Wait a minute,
let me just--
Let me just--

You wouldn't
want that to happen.

Would you?

No, no, I wouldn't
want to hurt

Muffy, Buffy, Puffy,
Huey, Dewey, and Louie.

Good. Now, we've got to hurry.

Cousin, why, why,
why we do need a suntan?

To prove that we have
been in the Caribbean.

We don't have enough time
to go to the Caribbean

get a suntan and get back
in time for the party.

I see what you're saying.

Good thinking, Balki.
No, no, wait, wait, wait--

I-I-I--
You know.

I'd be nothing without you.

I-I-I, I was
painting the card.

Okay, we've put on
the suntan lotion.

We are ready to tan.

I don't know, Cousin, I...

I don't know if it's working.

I put it on and I'm still as

white as a mackerel
in the moonlight.

Balki, first we have to get
into the tanning beds

turn them on and let
the ultraviolet lights

gradually tan us.

Okay.

Now.

...for half an hour.

That should give us enough
of a tan to impress Bunky.

Okay, now, put these on.

Cousin, look! I found
Little Orphan Annie's eyes!

Balki, get into
the tanning bed. Now.

Okay, okay.

The top of Barbie's bikini?

Balki.
Oh.

Oh, my Lord!
Balki! Balki, we overslept!

Get up, get up!

[SCREAMING]

You know, Cousin

when we were
in the tanning beds

I dreamt we were
at Bunky's party.

Yeah?

It was on the sun.

All right, all right,
maybe we did get
a little too much sun.

A little too much sun?

[LAUGHING]

Aah!

Cousin, even though it means

I won't be meeting Wayne Newton

I think we should
skip Bunky's party.

Balki,
if I don't go to this party

I'll miss my chance to become a
member of The Beekman club

and I'll regret it
for the rest of my life.

Well, of course not, Cousin.
You regret so much already.

Ahh!
Ow!

All right.
All right, come on.

Let's get our tuxes on.
[WHIMPERS]

Now, we're already late.
Yeah.

So, we gotta hurry.
Okay.

Let's go.
Okay.

[GROANING]

Ahh!
Ahh!

Ahh!
Ahh!

All right,
let's make a run for it.

Okay, ready?
Yeah.

One, two, three.

[SCREAMING]

Truce, truce, truce.
Truce, truce, truce, truce.

Truce.

[SIGHING]

[SCREAMING]

All right, give me my tux.
Okay.

[SOBBING]

[GROANING]

[SCREAMING]

Truce, truce, truce, truce,
truce, truce, truce.

[SCREAMING]

Get your tux.
Okay.

[PANTING]

[SOBBING]

[GROANING]

[GROANING]

[GROANING]

Okay.
Okay.

Let's just get this over with.

Right, okay, ready?

One, two, three.

[SCREAMING]

[BOTH SIGH WITH RELIEF]

[CARIBBEAN MUSIC PLAYING]

Mary Anne,
do you see what I see?

Yeah, nobody's wearing
an evening gown.

Boy, are they gonna
be embarrassed.

JENNIFER:
And nobody else has
a suntan, either.

Larry, are we... Larry?

[GRUNTING]

Larry? Please tell me
we're at the wrong party.

Well, I hope not,
otherwise we'll miss Fluffy.

Who's Fluffy?

Appleton, glad
you could make it.

Well, well, well, Bunky,
you, you said
the party was formal.

Oh, gee! Who was responsible
for telling Appleton?

Oh, it was me.
I guess I forgot.

[LAUGHING]

Say, Appleton, what did you
do in the Caribbean?

Put out fires with your face?

Oh, no, it's nothing, it,
uh, it looks worse than it is.

And Balki.
Hi, how are ya?

I'm well.
And you, how are you?

Well, if I was a
charcoal briquette, I'd be fine.

But it's a small price
to pay to see Fluffy.

Do you know Fluffy?

You know the album that
Fluffy cut in Cleveland

right after he got the...

[CRIES OUT]

Uh, Bunky, uh,
I'd like to introduce you

to my fiancee,
Jennifer Lyons.

And this is, Mary Anne Spencer,
Balki's, girlfriend.

Whoa, major league, Appleton.

Happy to meet you,
Jennifer, Mary Anne.

Uh, thank you for inviting us.

Well, everybody
enjoy yourselves.

I'll see you guys later.
All right.

I, I hate to see you
in this much pain.

Maybe we should go.

[GRUNTING]

Aw, your sunburn?

No, the chair's on my foot.

Are you okay?
Yes. Ahh!

Okay, now, everybody, come on,
let's go. Attention.

It's coronation time.

[APPLAUSE]

Cousin, coronations
are my favorite flower.

No, you're wrong. Balki.

I think they're going to make me
a member of The Beekman club.

Oh.
Ow!

Sorry.
Oh!

See, what did I tell ya?
I'm in.

Larry, Balki,
would you please join me?

Oh, Cousin, are they going
to make me a member, too?

Well, Bunky said he liked you.

Ow!

Ladies and gentlemen,

the moment
you've all been waiting for.

We are going to crown
our kings for the evening.

Our old friend from high school,
Larry Appleton,

and our new friend, his cousin,
Balki Bartokomous.

Not only are we in,
we're kings.

I know.

May I have the crowns, please?

[CROWD APPLAUDING]

hold your applause until
the end of the ceremony.

Cousin, the, the previous kings
must have had enormous heads.

Okay, now,
every king needs a throne.

And we searched high and low

for one that was worthy of you.

[LAUGHING]

Cousin, it's just like
King Ferdinand's throne.

We, we must really be important.

All hail Appleton,
king of fools.

You're right, Bunky.
I am a fool.

I wanted to be
a member of your club.

But you're still as cruel
and insensitive

as, as you were then.

And I, really don't want to
spend another minute with you.

Come on, Balki,
we're leaving.

Just, just a moment.

Frankly, I am shocked that
Wayne Newton would have

anything to do
with any of you.

Larry, I don't understand
why you wanted to join
Bunky's club.

He's a jerk.

was because Bunky
didn't want me in his club.

Cousin, on Mypos

when we can't make friends
with a skunk

we consider that a good thing.

I'll try to remember that.

Yeah, I, I must have been crazy.

I, I don't know why I'd want
to be friends with somebody

like Bunky,
when I already have

three of the best friends
in the world.

Well, Larry,
you're not only my best friend

you're the man I love.

That goes for me, too, Larry.

I mean the friend part...

The love part
is...someone else.

Ow!
Ow!