07x10 - Dimitri's World

[bunniefuu]

[theme music]

♪ Sometimes the world
looks perfect ♪

♪ Nothing to rearrange ♪

♪ Sometimes you just
get a feeling ♪

♪ Like you need
some kind of change ♪

♪ No matter what the odds
are this time ♪

♪ Nothing’s going to stand
in my way ♪

♪ This flame in my heart ♪

♪ And a long lost friend ♪

♪ Gives every dark street
a light at the end ♪

♪ Standing tall ♪

♪ On the wings of my dream ♪

♪ Rise and fall ♪

♪ On the wings of my dream ♪

♪ The rain and thunder ♪

♪ The wind and haze ♪

♪ I’m bound for better days ♪

♪ It’s my life my dream ♪

♪ Nothing’s going to
stop me now ♪

[theme music]

[upbeat music]

Hi!

I’ve got everything
we’ll need for Thanksgiving...

...dinner.

I’ve got everything we need
for Thanksgiving dinner.

Thanksgiving dinner
is as good as cooked.

Pass the word,
I’ve got the bird.

Oh, I guess it is true,
what they say

Birds with no feathers
do flock together.

May I ask why?

Well, I assumed that I would
cook dinner this year.

It’s my first Thanksgiving
as Larry’s wife.

And I want it to be special.

I’ve made Thanksgiving dinner
every single year

since I come to America, so,
so I just assumed that, that

I would,
I would make it again.

Well, that, that’s okay.

How about, how about
I’ll take Thanksgiving

and you take Christmas
and Mud Day?

Balki, we don’t celebrate
Mud Day in this country.

Well, it’s just as well.
You’d only commercialize it.

Wait a minute, I wanted to cook
Thanksgiving dinner

so I could prove
to a certain someone

what a wonderful wife
I would make.

Oh, Mary Anne,
that is great.

You invited someone?

You are not gonna believe
what I just did.

You forgot we moved and you went
back to the old apartment again?

Yeah, I did.

But before that, I was out
at McGregor’s Farm

and, and I was writing
a turkey story‐‐

Now, cousin, cousin, cousin,
you are too hard on yourself.

Now, Mr. Wainwright occasionally
calls your writing mediocre

but he has never come out

and called one of your
articles a turkey.

Well, except for that one time
but you weren’t even in the room

so, as far as I’m concerned,
it never happened.

I mean, I was writing
a story about turkeys

for tomorrow’s
Thanksgiving edition.

Well, in that case,
never mind.

Well, anyway, while I was
interviewing Mr. McGregor

he told me he was retiring

and I could take as many turkeys
as I wanted for half price.

So, having a keen eye for a
quick profit, I took ’em all.

How many is all?

Fifty‐eight.

Fifty‐eight turkeys?

They’re being unloaded in
the back yard right now.

[gasps]

Oh, cousin,
this is wonderful.

The most pets I ever had
before was seventeen.

No, no, these are not pets.

They’re an investment.

Well, if they’re infested

we cannot let them up
on the furniture.

Investment. Investment.

Larry, tomorrow is
Thanksgiving.

How are you gonna get rid
of all these birds?

And get your,
I mean our money back?

Very simple, I have...

‐Oh, God!
‐Oh, God!

A plan!

[turkeys clucking]

Attention last minute
shoppers

get your fresh turkeys.

Get ’em while they’re breathin’.
Get ’em while they’re gobblin’.

Whack ’em and sack ’em.

Whack ’em and sack ’em?

Larry, that’s disgusting.

If you think that’s disgusting
you don’t even wanna know

what they do to eggplant
on Mud Day.

I’m following Balki’s recipe
for stuffing

and it calls for
one pinch of GP.

‐What does GP stand for?
‐Probably ground pepper.

I’d better ask Balki.

‐Balki?
‐’Yeah?’

‐What does GP stand for?
‐Goat pancreas.

’But I think I used the last of
it on my breakfast cereal.’

Where am I gonna get goat
pancreas now?

[Larry]
’Shut the door!
Shut the door!’

Oh, hello turkeys.

Unlock the door!
Unlock the door!

Well, I wish
you make up your mind.

Come on, come on.

Balki! Balki, get ’em out.
Get ’em out.

Get ’em outta here.
Come on.

Get ’em out. Get ’em out.

Come here, come here, come here.

I got it, I got it, I got it.

Okay, okay. I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.

I got it. Alright, we’re
leaving. We’re leaving.

Take these, take these turkeys
outta here.

And stop trying to put those
little pilgrim hats on ’em.

Well, excuse me for getting
into the spirit of the holiday.

How about, how about just them
little buckles on their shoes?

No.

How about just little
lace bibs?

No. Get out, get outta here.
Take ’em out.

Where’s my ring?
I, I had it right here.

It’s gone.
I’ve lost my diamond ring.

Well, well, don’t worry, Jen.

We, we’ll find it.

Are, are you sure
it was on the counter?

Yes, Larry, I’m sure.

Every time I cook
I take off my diamond ring

and I put it by
the salt and pepper shakers.

Salt, pepper, diamond.
Salt, pepper, diamond.

Only now it’s salt, pepper,
nothing.

No one’s been in here
but us and the turkeys.

Larry, if one of your
stupid birds ate my ring

you’ll be the one who gets
whacked and sacked.

[beeping]

[beeping]

[beeping]

[beeping]

Well, I’m exhausted.
We’ve been doing this all night.

What a lousy Thanksgiving
this is turning out to be.

Cousin, shhh.
She’ll hear you.

Balki, I don’t believe this.

We’ve checked every turkey
three times.

There’s no metal in
any of them.

Well, maybe the turkey
that took it didn’t swallow it.

What do you mean
"He didn’t swallow it?"

Well, maybe he hid it.

He hid it?

Well, cousin, eh, it’s
a well‐known fact that

turkeys are the practical jokers
of the farmyard.

And when you consider
how gullible the cows are

and the fact that
chickens have

absolutely no sense
of humor, whatsoever

well, you can imagine
how kooky things can get.

If any of you find
a ring out there

there’s extra corn
in it for you.

Balki, one of the turkeys
had to swallow it.

It’s the only thing
that makes sense.

Alright, now, Jennifer set the
ring down on the counter. Right?

Right.

Mary Anne opened the door,
the turkeys came in. Right?

Right.

And you took the turkeys back
outside and the ring was gone.

‐Right?
‐Right.

And we haven’t sold any turkeys.
Right?

And we haven’t sold any turkeys.
Right?

This is where you are supposed
to say "Right." Right?

I’m sorry, I,
I wasn’t paying attention.

Did you ask me a question?

Turkeys.

We haven’t sold any turkeys.
Right?

Mmm, more or less.

What do you mean
"More or less?"

Let me ask you a question.

Have, have you ever been
in a situation

where you were
given a job to do

and you did that job well

but um...you

you later found out
that the job you did well

was the wrong thing to do
even though you thought

it was the right thing
to do at the time

that you were doing
that good job.

What?

Have you ever been
in a situation where

where you were given‐‐

Balki!
What are you talking about?

‐Oh, no, no!
‐What are you talking about?

‐Don’t hurt me.
‐I’m not gonna hurt ya.

‐You’re not gonna hurt me?
‐I’m not gonna...

No, I’m not gonna hurt you.
No, of course.

‐No, no.
‐I’m not gonna hurt ya.

Come on. Come on.

Come on, you’re talkin’ to
Cousin Larry here.

Yeah, I know .

You can talk to
Cousin Larry, huh?

Just tell Cousin Larry
what you did.

Cousin Larry is
nice to me.

Yes. Yes, he is.
Yes, he is.

He’s, he’s just
a nice guy.

Oh, he sure is.

He’s a nice guy so just tell
Cousin Larry what you did.

I sold one of the turkeys
to the Johnsons.

You what?

[screaming]

Why would you do that?

Well, it kind of made
sense at the time.

I mean, it was
the day before Thanksgiving.

And, and we had dozens of
turkeys out in the backyard

and a sign in the front yard
that said "Turkeys for Sale"

I guess, I just
wasn’t thinking.

Balki, we have got to get that
turkey back from the Johnsons.

No problem.
I know what to do.

[clucking]

Wowww!

What was that?

That’s the sound turkeys make
when they wanna get...

...r‐romantic.

And it brings them
running every time.

I think we’re gonna see
that turkey

I sold to the Johnsons
any second.

As I recall,
not an unattractive bird.

No.

No.

By now the Johnsons’ turkey
is cooked.

We’re gonna have to
switch cooked turkeys.

Well, cousin, that’s not all
we’re gonna have to do.

We’re gonna have to
deal with

fifty seven romantic turkeys
that are headed this way.

[clucking]

[instrumental music]

Alright, alright. Now, remember,
let me do all the talking.

Cousin, I still think we’re
better off telling the truth.

What am I supposed
to say to her?

Excuse me, Mrs. Johnson
but your turkey swallowed

a very expensive diamond and I
would just like the opportunity

to rummage through the bird
in the hopes of retrieving it?

I’d believe it.

Well, I have something
else in mind.

Something a little
more believable.

I am going to tell her
that you made a tiny error

and sold them
a poisoned turkey

that could k*ll
their entire family.

Then we’ll exchange our bird for
their bird and be on our way.

It’s a whole lot simpler than
telling them the truth.

Alright, ready?
Here we go.

Cousin, you know, I, I think
it’s, I think it’s too late

to, to do your plan,
they’re already having dinner.

Well, if they’re already eating
the poison thing won’t work.

Alright, I’ll have to think
of something else.

Ju‐just don’t let them
see you.

Hello, Mrs. Johnson!

Mrs. Johnson is coming
to the door.

Well, get out of the window.

Mrs. Johnson likes me.

Hello, Balki.

‐Hello, Mrs. Johnson.
‐Oh!

‐Happy Thanksgiving!
‐Yes.

What can I do for you?

Uh, yeah, Mrs. Johnson,
we’re here, uh, because

uh, because we are a full
service turkey organization.

And, and, and, and, uh,
so, we’re, we’re

we’re here to
serve your bird.

We sell ’em, we slice ’em,
we serve ’em.

That’s, that’s very sweet.

Uh, but we already have
everything on the table.

Whoa, ho, ho, ho.
What about seconds?

What about side dishes?
What about beverages?

What about desserts?

What about driver’s side
air bags?

Just stop it.
Let me do the talking.

Let me do the talking.
Thank you very much.

Mrs. Johnson, we’re here
to make sure that this is

the best darn Thanksgiving
the Johnsons ever had.

Come on, Balki.
We’ve got a meal to serve.

Believe me, nobody can dish it
out like Cousin Larry.

Hello! Hello!

Don’t stand up.
Don’t stand up.

Have you done something
different in here?

I wouldn’t know,
I’ve never been in here.

Marion, what’s the foreign boy
from down the street doing here?

Well, I’m not
really sure.

Um, Larry and Balki,
this is my husband, Howard.

‐Hi!
‐And this is our son, Richie.

Our daughter, Joanie
and Grandpa Johnson.

Well, it’s a pleasure
meeting you all.

Why don’t you just sit down
and, uh

enjoy your
Thanksgiving dinner?

We’re here just to make your
meal a little more enjoyable.

Why?

Well, Howard, Thanksgiving has
always been a, a special time

at the Appleton home
and, uh, I just thought

I’d like to share
that special feeling this year

with a few close friends.

What’s the Appleton home?

Well...it’s my home.
And I’m Larry Appleton.

And I’m Balki Bartokomous.

Oh, Mrs., um, Mrs. Johnson,
your stuffing looks delicious.

Do you use chestnuts
or walnuts?

Me, I use a handful
of beer nuts.

Uh, Balki!

Why, why don’t
we all just, uh

bow our heads for grace?

Howard, would you do
the honors?

I’ve, I’ve already said grace.

Oh, ha, yeah.
And I missed it.

And you know, it just doesn’t
feel like Thanksgiving

with‐without, uh,
hearing grace.

Uh, Howard, just say grace and,
and maybe they’ll go away.

Let us bow our heads.

Dear Lord, we thank you for
the food we are about to eat.

For the good fortune our
family’s been blessed with.

‐’We come together...’
‐Alright, now...

If the turkey
swallowed the...

[Mr. Howard]
’...things easily
taken for granted’

’which we also
give thanks to...’

Alright, now listen, if the
turkey swallowed the ring

it would be in the gizzard.

Now the gizzard is either
in the stuffing or in the gravy.

You check the stuffing and the
gravy. I’ll check the turkey.

...today and always, amen!

[all]
Amen!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!

I think we all have
a little more

to be grateful for
than that.

Huh?

Y‐you know, I, I would like
to say a few words

so if we could just
bow our heads again.

‐I’m hungry.
‐Me, too.

And so are children
all over the world

but they have no food to eat.

Which is why we have
so much to be thankful for.

So could we just bow our heads

and reflect on the true
meaning of this day?

Thanksgiving.

The stuffing.
Check the stuffing.

The stuffing.
Shut up!

Thanksgiving!

Thanks and giving.

What do these
two words mean?

I know! I know!

Heads down! Heads down!
Nobody said anything.

Cousin, I know,
I know what they...

Shut up! Shut up!

Giving, giving...

The gravy, the gravy.

Giving, the‐the act of

imparting or bestowing.

That’s what I was gonna say.

Shut up!

Now, putting these
two words

back together...

...we have, we have
Thanksgiving.

The, the bestowal
of gratitude.

Balki! Help me! Help me!

And‐and looking around
I see that we

we have so much
to be grateful for.

Eyes down, missy.

Just the,
just the facts of...

[mumbling]

Just the fact of,
of being together

is, is something
to be grateful for.

Have you finished yet?
I...

Oh! Oh, Howard!

Am I taking too long

to express gratitude
to our Creator?

Hmm?

I mean, you know,
I could just say that

Howard didn’t want to
take the time

to thank the man upstairs.

Heads down!
Heads down!

Thanksgiving...

Get it off me!
Get it off me!

Thanksgiving, being grateful,
grateful

for the air we breathe

for the few merciless...

I’m throwing them out.

Maybe we should do
what they say.

I, I think they’re crazy.

[indistinct shouting]

Thankful to those for giving...

Cousin!
Cousin, go deep.

Grandpa’s choking on
the ring.

Grandpa! Grandpa!

Let’s get those arms up!
Arms up! Arms up!

[squealing]

Come on.

Come on, you old geezer.
Cough up the ring.

[groaning]

I’m not choking!
I’m not choking!

Leave my father alone
and get the hell out of here!

[indistinct shouting]

[instrumental music]

You’re welcome.
And Happy Thanksgiving.

Larry, it was very nice of you

to donate those turkeys
to the homeless shelter.

Well, I like to do
what I can

for the less fortunate
during the holiday season.

Cousin Larry’s exact words were

"As long as I’m stuck
with all these turkeys

I may as well at least
get a tax deduction out of it."

I, I think it would be
nice if we all just

uh, took a moment and, uh

gave thanks
for all that we have.

Oh, well, um, I’m thankful for
two of the best friends

anyone could ever hope for.

And I’m thankful to the most
understanding husband

in the world who didn’t get
angry with me

when I found my diamond ring
in my jewelry box.

I’m thankful that we have
the opportunity

to share
Thanksgiving together.

Well, uh, I don’t know
where to begin.

Uh...this has been the most
wonderful year of my life.

And I have a lot
to be grateful for.

I’m married to the most
wonderful woman in the world

and I’m thankful
for our lovely home.

And the two dear friends
who share it with us.

I’m very thankful that I’m out
of the turkey selling business.

Although I know with a,
a little time

and a lot more support

I could’ve made a go of it.

I have a lot to be
thankful for.

I’m celebrating my first
truly American holiday

as an American citizen,
and, um...

I want to thank Mary Anne

Cousin Jennifer

and Cousin Larry

for all of their
love and support.

And uh...
I want to thank the Johnsons

for not calling the police

even though Grandpa Johnson
wanted to press charges.

Let’s eat.

Now, who had
the Salisbury steak.

I did.

And the cheese enchilada?
Yeah, over there.

I’ve got the lasagna.

Cousin, a hungry man for you.

[theme music]

[music continues]