07x14 - Missing

[bunniefuu]

[theme song]

♪ Sometimes the world
looks perfect ♪

♪ Nothing to rearrange ♪

♪ Sometimes you just
get a feeling ♪

♪ Like you need
some kind of change ♪

♪ No matter what
the odds are this time ♪

♪ Nothing’s going to stand
in my way ♪

♪ This flame in my heart ♪

♪ Like a long lost friend ♪

♪ Gives every dark street
a light at the end ♪

♪ Standing tall ♪

♪ On the wings of my dream ♪

♪ Rise and fall ♪

♪ On the wings of my dream ♪

♪ The rain and thunder
the wind and haze ♪

♪ I’m bound for better days ♪
♪ Haa ♪

♪ It’s my life and my dream ♪

♪ Nothing’s going
to stop me now ♪

[instrumental music]

[laughing]
Cousin, I’m sorry

I‐I don’t mean to laugh at you

but you’ve got to admit,
it’s kinda peculiar.

We’ve gone for a nice
Chinese lunch at Wong‐Su’s

and you make a fool of yourself

in front of Wong
and his lovely wife, Su.

Why? All because of the fortune
in the fortune cookie.

Don’t you know them things
can apply to anyone?

Oh, really? Oh, really?

"You will be coming
into money soon

"but if you’re Larry Appleton

you won’t be using it for tips."

Appleton, Bartokomus,
I want to talk to you.

The theme of next Sunday’s
magazine section is, children

and I want a new
Dimitri cartoon for the cover.

Dimitri is going to be
a cover sheep?

You know,
his dream is to be named

"People" magazine’s
Sexiest Lamb Alive.

Well, I have to meet
with the lawyers.

You remember Rob Bob Phillips,
who used to work up here?

He’s suing the paper
because we fired him.

Appleton...

...if I ever fire you

don’t make
a federal case out of it.

You can count on me, sir.

And have the cover cartoon

on my desk Monday morning.

Now, Balki, Mr. Wainwright says

we have to have the cartoon
on his desk by Monday morning.

So maybe you should just skip

your warm up routine
and get right to the drawing.

‐"Skip my warm up routine?"
‐Skip your warm up routine.

"Skip my warm up routine?"

‐Okay, do your warm up.
‐Okay.

Five finger push‐ups. Hm.

One, two, three...

Come on, push, push, push, push!
Push, push, push, push, push!

You’ve got one more in you!
Dig deep! Dig deep!

‐Argh!
‐Yeah, okay. Alright, alright.

Good, good, okay, here we go.

Let’s get right to drawing.

And now, I have to spell my name
in the air with my nose.

B‐A‐...

...L‐K‐I.

Wow!

‐Okay, alright.
‐Yeah!

‐Ready?
‐Yeah!

Let’s get right to drawing.

Okay, Dimitri, let’s...

Where’s Dimitri?

I don’t know,
we’ll look for him later.

Let’s‐let’s just
get right to drawing.

Cousin, cousin,
you know I cannot draw Dimitri

unless I have him
right in front of me.

I‐I have to...connect with him.

And‐and I don’t know
where he is.

He‐he’s usually right here
on the corner of my desk

right where this note is.

"Balki.

"I have the sheep.

"Do exactly as I tell you

"or...or you’ll never

see him again,
I’ll be in touch."

You know,
I‐I can’t help noticing

what the tremendous amount
of work

went into the writing
of this note.

Obviously,
the person who sent it

cares enough
to send the very best.

I wonder where Dimitri is.

Balki...

...Dimitri has been kidnapped!

[instrumental music]

I‐I put "Missing Sheep" posters
all over the neighborhood.

‐Did the kidnapper call yet?
‐No, he hasn’t, Balki.

Oh, cousin, I‐I don’t know
what else I can do, I...

I‐I dusted my drawing table
for fingerprints.

I, I faxed Dimitri’s picture
to "Unsolved Mysteries."

I‐I just thought and thought,
I don’t know

what else I could do.

What kind of a person
could do this?

‐I‐I am emotionally drained.
‐Yeah, well.

Of course you are.

I will not cry.

Balki, you know, maybe,
maybe you should do something

uh, that would
take your mind off Dimitri.

Oh, cousin,
that would be so good.

‐Well, of course, it would be.
‐Oh, gosh.

But what could you do?

What could I do?

I’ve got it! You could draw!

What could I do?

I said I’ve got it.

You could draw.

I could draw!

You could draw!

‐Yes.
‐Yes, but what could you draw?

‐What could I draw?
‐What could you draw?

I’ve got it, you could draw
a nice fluffy white cloud.

What could I draw?

I said I’ve got it!

You could draw

a nice fluffy white cloud.

I could draw
a nice fluffy white cloud.

‐Nice fluffy white cloud.
‐No, I don’t dare.

Oh, no, no, go ahead,
go ahead, go ahead.

‐Oh, good. Good. Okay.
‐Oh.

‐I’m doing it. I’m doing it.
‐Okay. Okay.

‐And I feel so much better.
‐Okay.

Okay, give him some eyes, maybe.

You know, just some eyes.
A little nose.

Little nose.
And maybe a tail over here.

‐But, but, but the mouth?
‐Okay.

‐There.
‐Oh, yes.

That’s so very very good.

Yes, you know
what’s really nice about it

I’ve just figured out
what you’re doing.

You’re trying to trick me into
drawing Dimitri, aren’t you?

You take that,
that is low, cousin

that’s low, even for you.

[indistinct muttering]

Hi, guys. I got the mail.

Oh, maybe there’s something
from the kidnapper.

Balki,
we are running out of time.

We have got to have that cartoon

on Mr. Wainwright’s desk
by Monday morning.

What is this?

It’s Dimitri’s ear.

Balki, that’s a fabric swatch
I ordered.

I’m getting new drapes
for our bedroom.

What’s this?

Isn’t that one of your
"Think And Grow Taller" tapes?

No.

That was just a series of five.

[male #1]
’As you can see,
I still have your sheep.’

’I want $10,000’

’or I’ll turn him
into 10,000 Q‐tips.’

’You catch my drift?’

’I’ll contact you
within 24 hours.’

[instrumental music]

‐Hi, Balki.
‐Hello.

‐What’s all this stuff?
‐Hi, Mary Anne.

The, uh, kidnapper called.

He wants $10,000 ransom
for Dimitri

and he said he’s,
he said he’s calling today

so I’m just rounding up
some things to sell

to get the ransom money.

[gasps]
Balki!

This is my hair dryer!

Well, I‐I‐I know
that’s your hair dryer

but I was hoping
that you would donate it

to Dimitri’s ransom fund.

Um, unless it’s
a priceless family heirloom

lovingly handed down
from mother to daughter

every generation, for years back

since your family
first come to this country

and therefore much much more

important than Dimitri’s life.

How could I be so heartless?

Keep the dryer.

I’ll get you my facial sauna.

Balki!

Incredible news!

You’ll never guess what I found
in the trash dumpster

outside behind the Chronicle.
What are you doing?

Get... Stop it!

Balki.

I found...Dimitri.

Oh! Cousin!

Now we are so happy,
we do the dance of joy.

[chattering]

Good idea. Good idea.
Good idea. Good idea.

But first, first we draw,
then we dance.

Cousin, cousin,
why can’t I hold Dimitri?

Oh, well, Balki, uh,
Dimitri’s been through

a traumatic experience

and he needs
to spend some time alone.

But, but, cousin,
I, but the thing is, I‐I

yesterday he wanted
$10,000 for Dimitri

and‐and
why he did change his mind?

Well, uh, maybe somebody
saw him with Dimitri

and, and, and so he had to get
rid of the evidence

but the important thing is,
Dimitri is here

and now we can get that cartoon

to Mr. Wainwright
by Monday morning.

Okay, now, here we go.

Do your warm up.
Five finger push‐ups.

‐Five finger push‐ups, ready
‐Cousin, co‐cousin, cousin...

One...two...three, four, five.

Okay, good, good, good.

‐Okay, here we go.
‐Argh!

We’re going to write your name

in the air with your nose, okay?

‐B!
‐Oww! Oww!

‐A!
‐Oww! Oww!

‐L! K!
‐Cousin!

Cousin! Cousin!

I always write my name
with capitals.

You using lowercase.

‐Sorry.
‐No, that’s alright.

‐Okay, here we go.
‐Oww!

‐B!
‐Oww!

‐A!
‐Oww! Oww! Aah!

‐L!
‐Oww! Cous...

‐K!
‐Cousin! Oww!

‐I!
‐Oww!

Why does it have
to hurt so much?

Just be glad
you don’t have a longer name.

Okay, here we go!

‐Alright, we’re going to‐‐
‐Ah‐ha!

You wait
just a cotton candy minute.

Dimitri was made of pure wool

and this little imitation
is made of some synthetic fiber.

Uh‐uh‐uh...

Cousin, my little friend Dimitri
was not 32% rayon.

This is not Dimitri.

This is some puny
polyester imposter.

Now, Balki, Balki,
of course it’s Dimitri.

I‐if it wasn’t Dimitri,
how do you explain that

that when I walked
by the dumpster

he was, he was calling my name.

[bleating]
Cousin Larry! Cousin Larry!

Get a grip.

This is a stuffed sheep.

Alright, alright,
maybe it’s not Dimitri!

[panting]
But‐but
if you don’t draw Dimitri

Mr. Wainwright
is going to fire us.

Cousin, look, I‐I,
I don’t know how to say this.

I cannot draw Dimitri

unless I have Dimitri
in front of me.

It’s like,
you cannot take a pill

unless Jennifer
hides it in apple sauce.

I‐I’m sorry.

Okay. Okay.

[sighs]
If you can’t draw Dimitri

unless Dimitri’s here

we’ll just have to
get Dimitri back.

But, cousin,
we cannot afford the‐the ransom.

Balki, forget the ransom.

We are gonna catch
the kidnapper.

Now, what we have to do
is to get him to meet us

in a place
where we have the advantage.

I’ve got it, cousin.
The jungle gym down at the park.

I know that thing inside out.

It’ll never work.

How about the market?

What advantage
will we have there?

None, but we need milk.

[telephone ringing]

Hello!

Yes, this is Balki Bartokomous.

Cousin,
it’s the man who has Dimitri.

Listen, listen, l‐he‐he‐he likes

to be scratched behind the ears

and, and he likes to sleep
on his left side

and he has lived...

Yes, I know
he’s just a stuffed animal

but I’ve been under
tremendous emotional strain!

Please indulge me!

Balki, if we’re going
to get Dimitri back

we’re gonna have to get tough.

Alright, listen, pally!

Listen and listen up good.

We’ve got your $10,000,
but we’re not gonna meet you

in some dark dangerous alley!

No! Shut up! Don’t talk!

We’ll meet you tonight
at midnight

in the, in the
the basement of the Chronicle.

A‐and bring the sheep!

And that goes
double for me, pally!

[intense music]

Balki, help me
spread out these marbles.

Uh... Cousin, you know,
I, I love playing marbles

just as much
as anyone else but...

...now it seems
kind of an odd time.

I don’t know how you play

but you know
what we do on Mypos?

We put all the marbles
in our mouth

and then...we’ll see

who can spit them the farthest.

Balki,
we are not playing marbles.

We are setting a trap
for the kidnapper.

Well...

Now, when he comes in

he’ll step on the marbles.

When he falls,
that’s when we jump him. Okay?

It’s almost midnight.
Hit the lights.

Cousin.

What are you thinking?

I was just thinking...

...that I’m waiting
here in the dark...

...for someone deranged enough

to kidnap a stuffed sheep.

And therefore, probably

deranged enough to be carrying

one of those
a*t*matic as*ault r*fles.

And I’m doing this...

...so I can fill in a bubble...

...over a cartoon...

...to please my boss...

...who thinks
I’m a babbling twit.

Maybe I should
re‐examine my life.

You want to know
what I’m thinking?

No.

[footsteps approaching]

[gasps]
Cousin, someone’s coming.

It’s the kidnapper.

Alright, alright, when he falls

that’s when we jump him.

[intense music]

Now!

[screaming]

Cousin, it’s Miss Lydia.

Boy, you think
you know a person.

What are you two doing here?

[groaning]

Miss Lydia, Miss Lydia

you, you have kidnapped Dimitri

and you’re here
to collect the ransom money.

I love you, Miss Lydia,
but you have thrown me into

a terrible emotional conflict!

You have done a horrible thing!

But I want you to know

that I am going
to do everything I can

to help you become once again

a useful member of society.

Cousin, get her out of my sight.

I didn’t steal your sheep.

I don’t even eat lamb.

Balki!

It wasn’t Lydia.

It was a man’s voice
on the phone.

Oh, never mind.

I‐I‐I‐I’m sorry, Lydia

a‐all this Dimitri stuff

has gotten us a little tense.

Oh, shame on you!

False alarm. Come on.

‐Watch your step.
‐Watch it. Yeah.

You be... Hit the lights.

[intense music]

[footsteps approaching]

Hey! Balki!

This is it!

Now!

[screaming]

Cousin, it’s Mr. Gorpley.

Boy, you think
you know a person.

Do you ever think maybe you two

spend too much time together?

Mr. Gorpley,
why didn’t you come to me?

We could’ve talked this over.
I‐I thought we were friends.

Hey! It’s Balki.

Balki, that’s not why
Gorpley is here.

Lydia’s upstairs.

Oh, she is? Oh.

Well, maybe
I’ll just stop up and say hi.

Hit the lights. Watch out.

‐Careful. Yeah.
‐You be careful.

Easy, cousin.

How long do you think

this parade
of innocent people will go on?

I don’t know, Balki

but when this monster shows up

we’re gonna be ready for him.

‐Ah‐ha!
‐Aah!

Rob Bob!

Rob Bob, how are you?

Oh, I‐I’m just fine,
thank you, I’m fine.

Cousin Larry, look,
this is Rob Bob Phillips.

He used to work here.

Well, get down, Rob Bob

because we’re waiting
to catch a kidnapper.

‐Uh, Larry, Balki‐‐
‐Balki, hit the lights.

[intense music]

I’m the kidnapper.

Balki, hit the lights.

I’m sorry
to put you through so much.

I know it was hard on you.

‐Here’s Dimitri.
‐Oh, Dimitri, Dimitri.

I took real good care of him.

He really wasn’t much trouble.

Listen, uh, Rob Bob, uh

we haven’t been able
to raise, uh

all of the $10,000 ransom,
so, in‐in a couple of days‐‐

Balki, Balki,
we are not giving him any money.

You know...

...you short guys
really tick me off.

You know that?
You sleazy little worm!

I‐I‐I don’t want any money!

Oh, sure, sure now that you know

you’re dealing with somebody
bigger than you are

you sawed‐off
little criminal, huh?

H‐how tall are you?

‐Huh? Huh?
‐Cousin. Cousin...

That’s enough.

I just want Balki to forgive me.

The reason your Dimitri cartoon

got into the Chronicle

is ’cause the cartoon I draw

Kangaroo Cowboy, was dropped

from the paper.

I was hurt.

And I wanted to hurt you

so I took Dimitri.

I thought the paper
would pay the ransom.

But I felt so awful
about what I was doing.

Then I realized

"Kangaroo Cowboy" would never

do something that despicable.

So I’m giving
Dimitri back to you.

I’m sorry, Balki.

I forgive you.

[sighs]

Here, Balki.

You know what you are?

You’re short. You’re so short!

You little worm!

Just a,
just a short little worm!

Just, j‐just... No, come on! No!

Just let me have
one more sh*t at him.

Hey, hey, hey!

How’s the weather
down there, huh?

Well, why didn’t you tell us
all this when you called?

I tried!

You wouldn’t let me talk!

I hear that.

It’s late. I better get going.

I’m sorry, Balki.

Rob Bob, it’s really,
it’s, it’s, it’s okay.

And, uh, hey,
give Kangaroo Cowboy

a real big buckaroo
howdy for me.

‐Howdy!
‐Howdy!

I’ll tell him. Bye.

Bye.

Come on, Balki,
let’s go up to our office

If we hurry, we can still
get the Dimitri cartoon

on Mr. Wainwright’s desk
by morning.

[screaming]

This is why on Mypos

we leave the marble playing
to professionals.

[theme music]

[theme music]

[music continues]