03x07 - The Third Level

[bunniefuu]

[door opens]

[AOGAMI] Bad news!

The school store is all sold out of bread!

And the cafeteria is packed!

We're too late. How could this happen?

Um...

It's my fault for asking the teacher a dumb question.

We must act.

Or we'll have to endure afternoon classes

with empty stomachs.

[AOGAMI] We can't!

We're still growing boys and girls

in need of nourishment!

That would just be cruel!

[STUDENT A] What now?

[STUDENT B] We get food from someplace else.

[STUDENT C] But...

Do we dare?

It's the only way.

All right, everyone!

Make a break for the convenience store!

[CLASSMATES] Yeah!

[FUKIYOSE] Let's keep our numbers down.

If we all leave school at once, the teachers will notice.

We need to be quiet, and we need to be quick.

This operation is a race against the clock.

[KAMIJO] That's for sure.

If they're already sold out of lunches when we get there,

then all of this is for nothing, right?

[phone vibrates]

[STUDENT A] A Team has failed to escape.

[STUDENT B] B Team is eliminated.

It's up to you. Good luck!

[KAMIJO] Damn it! We're the only ones left!

[horn beeps]

[KAMIJO] Saigo?

I bet he's not forced to go hungry!

Let it go, Kami!

If he catches us now, it'll mean everyone's lunches!

Oh, crap!

Sorry. I'm going.

[AOGAMI] Huh? [grunts]

Hey, what are you doing? Come back!

[AOGAMI gasps]

[yells]

[TSUCHIMIKADO] He's coming!

Our best bet's to split up.

[KAMIJO] Uh... Right!

Oh, of course he comes after me!

[KAMIJO] Huh?

No, you don't!

[KAMIJO] Wait! No!

Hold on a second, Itsuwa!

[ITSUWA] Huh?

[ITSUWA] I really am sorry!

I thought it was a Roman Orthodox plot.

Oh. No, it's okay.

Saigo's really tough.

They say he once caught a giant boulder

with his bare hands.

He'll be back on his feet in no time.

[ITSUWA] Well, that's good.

But still, could I have been any more useless?

Hey, you were totally useful.

[KAMIJO] So, what brings you here, anyway?

[ITSUWA] Huh? Oh.

[KAMIJO] Hey, what are you doing?

Okay.

Tell me, does the name Acqua of the Rear

sound familiar to you at all?

Uh, yeah. He's with the Right Seat of God.

I think.

I met him when I was fighting that Vento woman.

You see, the thing is, he's issued a challenge

to the English Puritan Church, and to Academy City, too.

[KAMIJO] What kind of challenge?

In the next few days, he's going to pulver--

I mean, stage an att*ck on Toma Kamijo.

What? But why me?

[ITSUWA] Isn't it obvious?

You're responsible for thwarting the Roman Orthodox Church's

darkest schemes, over and over again!

You're making it sound bigger than it is.

Come on. I'm a high schooler.

[KAMIJO] Honestly.

First there was the front, then the left,

and now the rear, too?

Are they ever gonna give it a rest?

Well, if they're targeting me,

then they must have too much free time on their hands.

According to the report, he's extremely dangerous.

He's also said to possess saintly powers.

Um, okay.

[ITSUWA] But you have nothing to worry about.

Even if Acqua were to att*ck,

I promise your life wouldn't be in danger!

So, why exactly are you here?

To save you!

I'm your bodyguard now.

Night and day!

[USHIBUKA] Damn it, Itsuwa.

She's got the perfect opportunity to go on the att*ck,

and it's all "business this" and "business that."

Not only is it a shameful waste,

it looks like she's not even aware of the weapons

she's packing.

[KOUYAGI] What do you mean, weapons?

Why, I'm referring to

the "Undercover Bra Busters Theory"!

Interesting hypothesis, Your Holiness,

but is there any basis for it?

[ISAHAYA] If you're just making random predictions,

then you're better off saving them for the horse races.

[chuckles] The "Itsuwa Massage Operation"

that I conducted yielded promising results,

and I believe you'll agree they support my theory.

Her shoulder stiffness index was forty.

However, factoring in clothing and equipment

to calculate the load on her shoulders,

a stiffness index greater than thirty-seven

can only be explained by one thing!

So you mean...

Yes. Something's causing that stiffness.

And thus, my "Undercover Bra Buster Theory"

is proven.

[USHIBUKA] Huh?!

[TSUSHIMA sighs]

That said, however,

if I wish to explore this theory to the fullest,

I'm going to need a new tactic.

[KOUYAGI] But you know Itsuwa, she's never gonna make

the first move.

Which is why I've come up with a super-secret plan.

Are you ready?

I call it "Operation Field sharpsh**ter Free Kick"!

[MIKOTO] I can't believe he has amnesia.

For how long now?

What the--?

[KAMIJO yells]

[ITSUWA gasps]

[GROUP cheers]

[MIKOTO] Listen up.

I've got enough unpleasant stuff on my mind already.

I don't need any additional stress right now, okay?

They're gone?

[ITSUWA] Um, are you all right?

[KAMIJO] Yeah, I think so.

Just a little dazed is all.

Really? Come on!

Oh, Misaka.

[MIKOTO] How long were you planning to keep your face

buried in there, you disgusting pig?

Get back!

[KAMIJO] No! Stop! Let's go!

Hey! I'm not done with you yet!

Toma...!

You wanna tell me what you're doing with Itsuwa

of the Amakusa Church?

[KAMIJO] Oh, um...

The thing is, well...

What's the best way for me to explain this?

There's a problem.

The Right Seat of God is after--

[KAMIJO yells]

Look, I'm the one who Acqua's going after, right?

So we don't really need to tell Index, do we?

Itsuwa?

Yes, I heard you!

Loud and clear, don't worry.

Oh, sorry.

That hurt?

[ITSUWA] N-No.

It's fine.

[KAMIJO gasps]

[KAMIJO] What the hell is going on here?

Is there some kind of sinister power at work,

trying to make Index so angry that she can't function?

Um...

Hey, Index. Can you hear me?

I'm not really sure what's happening,

and I can't believe I'm asking this,

but will you please bite me before you explode?

If you bleed off some of your anger little by little,

I think it will reduce the chances of my head

being bitten off entirely.

[ITSUWA gasps] I know!

I have the perfect thing for your sweet little kitty.

Premium-grade bonito!

Wait, did you go shopping?

But when?

Yes. I may be here acting as your bodyguard,

but that doesn't mean I'll just help myself to your food.

I wouldn't want to be a freeloader.

Wait. What? Hey!

Why do I feel like there's been an enormous

shift of some kind?

If you think hard, I bet you'll find the answer.

Who is it that's left me to do everything around here

and not once pitched in to help with even

a single chore?

Right. I see.

And I'm sorry about that. I'll try harder--Wait!

Why are you trying to change the subject?

You'll find all the pots and saucepans right here.

Spices and stuff there.

Great!

[KAMIJO] I don't know why she's doing this,

and I'm not even gonna ask.

Thank you, Itsuwa, from the bottom of my heart!

Amazing!

Somebody else is cooking,

and I managed to avoid getting bitten by Index.

Could this day get any bett--

[KAMIJO yelling]

[KAMIJO] A girl making me dinner.

What's with that dopey smile on your face?

You look like you've just witnessed some kind of

miracle being performed.

[ITSUWA] Oh, no, please don't.

The chikuwa isn't ready yet.

[INDEX] Sorry, I hear what you're saying.

But I can't stop my mouth from eating!

[KAMIJO] Don't stand between a man and his dream!

[INDEX yells]

See that?

That's what crashing at someone's place

should look like.

Index...

I'm curious, is there a reason you do nothing but eat, sleep,

and watch TV?

What time is it?

I think the rerun of <span tts:fontStyle="italic">Magical</span> <span tts:fontStyle="italic"> Powered Kanamin Integral</span>

is about to start soon!

You need to do some work around here from now on!

Get up and clean the bathroom!

[INDEX] Okay.

[crash]

[MAIKA] I smell it. I can smell it.

No way! No more weirdos!

There! In that miso soup!

[ITSUWA gasps]

You've added in dried scallop powder

as the secret ingredient, haven't you?

What? How did you know that?

My own mother doesn't even know my secret ingredient!

Now to try it.

What flavor!

I can't be here anymore!

[TSUCHIMIKADO] Hey! What's going on?

Why are you throwing out my white cream stew?

[MAIKA] Because it doesn't come close to being as great

as the miso soup I'm about to make for us!

[yells]

[TSUCHIMIKADO] Okay, but there was nothing wrong

with that stew!

Why do I feel like I know that voice?

Oh, uh...

Listen, keep yourself sane and don't pay attention

to those nutjobs.

--[expl*si*n] --[INDEX screams]

[KAMIJO] All right.

How did you break the tub with just a sponge and cleanser?

Well, you told me to scrub it hard, so I did.

Maybe I did too good of a job?

That's not it.

You poured all of that concentrated cleanser

into the hot water inlet!

But isn't that what cleanser's supposed to do?

Clean stuff?

[KAMIJO] Not if you burn the inside of the hot water heater

and nearly cause a fire!

Um, sorry, but I think I have an idea that might help.

For a change of pace, maybe we could go to a bathhouse?

A bathhouse?

[KAMIJO] I'm so sorry.

I didn't mean for you to pay the rental fee for the bike.

[ITSUWA] Don't worry about it.

I've got plenty of money to use for things like this!

[INDEX] Hey, Toma,

why do I get the feeling that there's more

to our seating arrangements than you're admitting?

Huh? What are you talking about?

The sidecar's the most comfortable seat on the bike.

So poor old Kamijo rode in the back

and let you sit there in the spirit of ladies first.

[KAMIJO] Whoa!

With Academy City this empty at night

and the road conditions so good,

I might just accidentally start speeding.

[KAMIJO] Whoa! You're definitely speeding!

Slow down before you k*ll us!

[INDEX gasps]

Toma, look up there!

It's the biggest jungle gym I've ever seen!

[ITSUWA] The nd School District

was developed underground,

so it can't rely on wind or solar power

like other districts can.

They had to build those power stations

you see above it.

Plus, it uses so much electricity

that there are other power generating provisions

laid out all over the district.

[KAMIJO] So this spa resort we're going to...

What level is it on?

[ITSUWA] Let's see.

It's supposed to be on the third level.

Wait, hold on. A bathhouse underground?

Really?

Yep, apparently so.

Should be interesting.

The nd School District's divided into

ten underground levels, and we're headed to the third.

Oh.

[ITSUWA] Looks like the third level is up ahead.

[INDEX] Oh...!

The roof of this level is actually an enormous screen,

like you'd find in a planetarium.

It's set to display the night sky in real time.

[INDEX] It's beautiful!

Is this entire place really underground?

It looks like there's a river over there, and even a forest.

You gotta admit, Academy City really is amazing.

Look, you can see it from here!

That's it!

[MIKOTO] Ugh. This is so annoying.

Here I was worried about him,

and what does that idiot go and do?

[MIKOTO] One adult, please.

How many times do I need to come?

That's really all I'm getting?

I have to say, they're not making it very easy

to collect stamps.

I wonder if I could get two stamps

if I bring Kuroko with me next time.

Bring me, Sissy!

Nope, forget it.

I'll collect them all on my own!

[CHILD A laughing]

[MIKOTO] Huh? What the heck do you think you're doing here?!

Shh! Bath time is quiet time!

[INDEX] You don't need your towel in the water, you know.

Right.

[MIKOTO gasps]

Wait! You're the girl that idiot clung to

because of the soccer ball!

No! It's not what it looked like!

You see... It was an accident.

I was just lucky that my breasts happened to be there.

It wasn't like I planned it.

[MIKOTO] I wonder if either of those girls know

about that idiot and his amnesia.

I mean, he'd probably tell them sooner than he'd tell me.

Not that I care one way or the other!

Why am I getting so upset about somebody

so obnoxious?

[sighs] He really is nothing but a nuisance.

[INDEX] Uh-oh, looks like the short-haired one is going under.

We have to save her!

Aw, man. that's really hot.

I should've gone with iced coffee.

[ITSUWA] Enjoying the evening breeze?

It's nice, huh?

[KAMIJO] It's so easy to forget you're underground.

In that case, do you want to take a little walk?

[KAMIJO] Sure. Wait... But what about Index?

[ITSUWA] Last I saw she was running around

in the all-you-can-eat section.

She was?

Well, then I guess we don't have to worry

about losing her.

You know, this really is an amazing place.

How many times have you been here before?

This is her big chance.

There's definitely a nice mood happening.

Well, Your Holiness.

What do you wanna do now?

What? About the evening date operation?

No. I mean about Acqua of the Rear.

Oh.

We've received reports about him from Academy City, but...

[USHIBUKA] I know. It's hard to believe.

It would be strange for all three factions

to be scrambling.

And over someone like Toma Kamijo, you know what I mean?

I get the feeling there must be some information

that we're still unaware of.

[USHIBUKA] In other words,

if we're serious about protecting this guy...

Then yeah.

Chances are good we've still got some investigating left to do.

[TATEMIYA] The streets have been cleared.

How could I have let this happen?

I'm pretty sure we've been had.

[KAMIJO] I was wondering...

Where are the rest of the Amakusa folks?

[ITSUWA] You may not be able to see them right now,

but they're there.

Most likely watching us from a distance.

It's too bad the priestess couldn't be here.

It would be like having a one-woman army on our side.

[KAMIJO] Oh, yeah? Kanzaki's really that incredible?

[ITSUWA] Of course she is!

She's one of not even twenty saints in the whole world!

Any trouble you may have,

the priestess can resolve instantly!

Oh, really? That's impressive.

Well, I guess she did fight that archangel--

you know, the Power of God.

[ITSUWA] She fought an archangel?!

[ITSUWA] I know that I'm not supposed to let my guard down,

but I just...

[KAMIJO] Itsuwa? Is something wrong?

No! Nothing!

I mean, everything's fine, really!

I was just noticing that there don't seem to be

very many people around.

And would you just look at that beautiful view!

[KAMIJO] Yeah, I know.

This is what Academy City looks like at night.

It feels a whole lot more deserted

than it should be, though.

Hey...

[ITSUWA, KAMIJO gasp]

[ACQUA] I gave you a warning.

You had plenty of time and a number of options

before you.

And yet, this is the path you chose.

The one you decided it was worth risking your life on.

[ITSUWA] Isn't that...

It's Tatemiya's!

[ACQUA] I truly want to know.

Were you honestly incapable of finding a better alternative

--than this? --It's Acqua!

[ITSUWA gasps]

[KAMIJO] Itsuwa!

[ACQUA] Our world is being disrupted.

I've come to eliminate the source of the disturbance.

Is now the best time for you to be concerned

about others?

[KAMIJO yells]

[ACQUA] Do you honestly believe one of you

has the ability to challenge me and win

when your entire organization combined could not?

I still have my pride.

I must fight!

[ITSUWA yells]

--[KAMIJO] Itsuwa! --[ACQUA] Your right arm.

If you will offer it to me,

I'll let you leave this place with your life.

No, screw that!

I see.

Well, in that case,

I'll have to give you a little more insight

into the reality of things.

[ITSUWA] Kamijo!

Hold on!

Please stay with me!

I'll heal you with my restoration magic!

[ITSUWA] It isn't working.

Are you finished yet?

Hmm. I guess not.

I'll have to crush you both together.

[KAMIJO] Thank you, Itsuwa.

Because of your restoration magic...

...I'm starting to feel a little bit better now.

Please don't!

[KAMIJO yelling]

I admire your courage.

[KAMIJO yells]

[ACQUA] I'll give you one day.

You may take that time to consider my earlier proposition.

Cut off your own right arm and deliver it to us.

If you do that, I will let you live.

I'll wait for one day.

[KAMIJO] Saintly power shakes the world's surface,

thundering to the lower levels.

After everything is plucked apart and strength is used up,

what sort of strike does Itsuwa make?

Next time, "Saint Breakout."

When science and magic cross paths, a story is born.