04x14 - The Attractive Nuisance

[bunniefuu]

What happened, buddy,
did you fall off the roof?

Is he all right?
He looks bad.

Move back, will you?
We don't need
a medical opinion.

I live here.
What was he doing
up on my roof?

He was lured up
on that roof by an
interesting-looking telescope.

What?

They could take you
for everything you own.

I'm gonna get you
if it's the last thing
I do.

You understand what
I'm saying, mister?

Who is this guy
that's threatening me?

I want you to put this guy
Rockford on ice for me.

[g*n f*ring]

[b*llet RICOCHETING]

[PHONE RINGING]

ROCKFORD
ON ANSWERING MACHINE:
This is Jim Rockford.

At the tone, leave your name
and message.

I'll get back to you.

[BEEPS]
AUNT BEA:Jimmy Scott?

This is Aunt Bea
from Tulsa.

Cousin Randy just graduated
from High School and
wants to be a movie producer:

Now you live out in Hollywood,
you just do something.

Breaker, breaker,
this is Rocky Summit.

All good buddies
heading east or west on I-5

get your ears on
and come back.

This is Little Dix
out of Saratoga.

I got the hammer down
over sixteen wheels,
coming up on you.

You got the current
Smokey report? Come back.

That's a big 10-4,
Little Dix.

There's a County Mountie
with a brownie on
the East Groverton off-ramp.

There's a plain white wrapper
with a bubblegum machine,

cruising south
on the big 5.

Hey, you had
the feed bag on yet?

I'm wrapped in
brown paper this trip.

I'm running legal
and pushing hard.

Maybe next time.
Keep the griddle brittle,
good buddy.

Catch you
on the Lazy Susan.

That's a big 10-4,
Little Dix.

This is Rocky Summit.
Come on Gear Jammers on I-5,
let's hear back.

All Jammers out of Sacramento
and Bakersfield,

let's hear your 20
on the Grapevine Summit.

This is Rocky Summit.

All you Jammers on I-5,
come back.

Breaker, breaker,
this is Little Beaver.
Come on.

Come on all you Gear Jammers.
What's your 20
on the Grapevine Summit?

I'm finished putting
the sign up. Anything else?

Breaker, breaker,
this is Little Beaver.
Come on.

Shh.
I got me one here.

That's a big 10-4,
Little Beaver.

What's your 20 coming
to Rocky's Summit?

Say, have you put on
the feed bag yet?

We're slinging hash
and pumping gar.
Come back.

That is negatory,
good buddy.

I had me some steak
on the grill five miles north.

So I got
the pedal on the metal,
trying to pick up time.

Maybe next trip.
This is Little Beaver
with a big 10-4.

I thought you said
this was the only diner
for 10 miles north or south?

It is.

Well, he said he's already
eaten. He had steak on
the grill five miles back.

Sonny, that guy meant
he ran into a cow.

He don't have no time to stop.
He's got the hammer down
and he's making up time.

Oh, steak on the grill.
Of course, yeah.

Ta-da!

That's pretty good,
Vince.

Just "pretty"? Come on,
just pretty good?
That's a home recipe.

VINCE: You ain't
said nothing, Jim.

I'm a jammer with no yammer.

Sorry, Vince.
It's great.
Just terrific. Great.

Boy, I wish
we could've gotten

some of them
old Gear Jammers
into this place.

That Tim and
Sally Gustavson must have
really let it go downhill.

Those truckers
are driving by us
like we're selling Ptomaine.

Hey, Rocky,
you just opened.

Once those truckers know
you're running this place,
they're going to come in here.

You can believe it.
I'm sure of it.

And that's
another thing.

Vince cooks with a skillet
in one hand and a clove
of garlic in the other.

I mean, the chili,
the stew, even the soup
has too much garlic in it.

So, did you tell him
to ease off?

What could I say?
It's the grand opening.

I tell you what I did do.
I ate enough chili
and what-have-you

that now
your 12-year-old Scotch
has a garlic aftertaste.

Oh, no, not again.

Come on, Skipper.

You know
this girl isn't 21.
Hey, come on.

Nancy not only here
is 21, she's doing her
post grad work at Dartmouth.

I'm sorry,
but I could lose
my license, Skip.

Remember last year,
I pulled your nephew
out of the rips?

You forget that kind
of stuff pretty quick,
don't you?

I'll see you,
Skip.

Come on.

[SIREN BLARING]

Boy, they're getting
younger and younger.
Yeah.

Hey. Hey!

Hey, Jim.
There's a paramedic unit
over by your trailer.

Put this on my tab, Hank.

Spinal trauma.
Get the back splint.

What happened, buddy,
did you fall off the roof?

[GROANING]

MEDIC: What were you
doing up there?

Hey, is he all right?
He looks bad.

Move back, will you?
We don't need
a medical opinion just yet.

I live here.
What was he doing
up on my roof?

[GROANS]

MEDIC: Get the breather and
the adrenalin. This guy is
going into heavy shock.

I'll call emergency and
tell them we're bringing in
a red blanket.

WOMAN: Honey, are you sure
you've got the tickets?

MAN ON POLICE RADIO: :
This is unit 41.

MAN: Shh. Quiet,
there's a call
coming in.

Sounds like
a good one.

Preliminary diagnosis,
possible compound fracture
of the vertebrae.

Honey, get the Conaflex.
It's in the trunk.

Oh, Don.
This is the third time
this week.

I'm never going to get
to see Chorus Line.

Come on!

Excuse me,
did you see
what happened?

I was right here
on the beach.

My husband's waiting
for the grunion to run.
I saw him fall.

I called the paramedics.

Really? Wonderful.

Listen, was that ladder
standing there?

Yeah.

And apparently
the victim is not
the owner.

I don't know
who the owner is.

Hey, what's that
up there? Hey, dynamite.
Out of sight.

Is that telescope
always there?

I guess so.
Who are you?

Excuse me.
Joy, sh*t of the roof
and ladder.

Then here,
name and address.

Pretty bad.
We've got to get him
to County. Excuse us.

Listen,
I'm sticking
with the victim.

You stay here, get that
lady's name and address.
She's gold.

Find out who owns this dump
and I'll meet you at County.
I'll be nosing around.

Don. Oh, no.
I don't want...

Another night in
the emergency room
like this.

Honey, why don't
we just forget this one.

I mean, we could still
make the curtain.

Come on, Hon.
This show's got to
go on, too. I got to go.

Looks like you're gonna take
a broadside from that
collection of brown shoes.

Not now, Skip, okay?

See the fox in
the breakaway dress
with the camera?

Well, she's hooked up
with that guy
in the silver Cad

who just blew out
of here after
the paramedics.

I hate to ruin your night,
but I think this guy's
collecting witnesses.

He already hit on that
dumpy broad over there

in last year's rags,
by the trash barrel.

You want to get
to the point, Skip?

The point is,
I hate to see
a good friend spring a leak.

So, maybe I was parked
over here in the parking lot
with my girlfriend,

and maybe I saw this dodo
lushing on a bottle

before he climbed up
on your roof and fell off.

And maybe
I don't come forward
with this info

until it's too late
to check the alcoholic
content in his blood.

And maybe,
since you're interested
in my scholarship,

you slip me a grand
for my future education.

What are you studying, Skip?

The effects of
a 30-year-old couch jockey

on the emotional stability
of cheerleaders?

Cute.
No, no. Not really.

I understand
it's a wide-open field,
though.

You get to do your post grad
work at the Gray Rock
Honor Facility in Chino.

So you want it that way?
Fine. I'll sell it to
Lois Lane over here.

Why don't you do that, Skip.

'Cause about all
you're gonna get from me
is a broken rib.

What was that guy doing
on the roof of
your trailer anyway?

I've got a better
question for you.

Why did you leave
your telescope
up on the roof?

Now, Sonny, you know
that thing's mighty heavy,
and Vince and me, well,

we've been watching
those Pacific Gray Whales
swimming north.

So he was gonna hook
his camera up there,
take some pictures,

and we're gonna use
the pictures to give a talk

at the Gray Power meeting
at the end of the month.

Gray Power.
That's about all you ever
talk about anymore.

Now, don't you start
that again. Please don't.

You know, that's
the way I met Vince

and you know that
that's the way I found out
that just because a guy's 65,

doesn't mean he has to
sign up for a state
meal ticket. No, sir.

We got us a business,
we got us a restaurant,

and all because
a couple of guys
got together and prove

you don't have to spend the
rest of your time knitting
or pitching horseshoes.

Come on, now.
You used to do
a lot of stuff

before you started
going over there.
Like what?

Well, like fishing.

There's nobody
a better fisherman
than you.

And then, you used to go
over and talk to the drivers
at the Wheel-A-Rama.

Ah, that's nothing but
an old has-been sitting
on a metal chair

trying to recapture
the past.

Yeah, well, ever since
you and Vince
started that restaurant,

I don't see you anymore.
You're always up there.

You miss me.

Yeah, yeah. I miss you
bickering at me and telling
me how I'm wasting myself.

You know, a guy needs
that kind of parental
pressure to make it in life.

That's nice.

Well, I'm happy, though.
That's the main thing
that counts.

You know, I just wish
that the business would
pick up a little more.

Oh, hey, it will, Dad.
It will.

Where you off to?

I spent the night over at
the hospital trying to see
that Weinstock guy.

The doctor said
I couldn't see him
till after 10 this morning.

Oh, say, did Beth
get hold of you?

She was trying to
but your phone was
off the hook.

No.

She called you 'cause
she read about that guy
falling off your roof

in the morning paper.
I'm sorry I forgot
to tell you but...

Well, you know
how it is.

Say, Sonny,

do you think that
Vince might be using
a little too much garlic?

Garlic?
Yeah.

Lately, everything
tastes garlicky to me.

Well, Dad,
I'm no Julia Child,

but maybe he could
just ease off on
the garlic a little.

You know, just for a while.
Just kind of see what happens.

That's what
I been thinking.

That's why I called you
this morning.

I knew you were gonna
come down here
all filled with remorse.

And, Jim, listen.
These things can get
very legal and very tricky.

From what I understand,
he already has an attorney.

I don't care about all that.
I just want to know if
the guy's gonna be all right.

Jim, whatever you do,
don't tell him you're sorry.

Huh?

I know that
that sounds hard and cruel,

but you didn't ask him
up on your roof.

And from what I've been
able to find out, what with
the telescope and the ladder,

they have a pretty good
attractive nuisance suit
as it is.

What?

He was lured up there on that
roof which was unsafe by an
interesting-looking telescope,

made further accessible by
the ladder leaning up against
the side of the building.

Come on, Beth,
now who's gonna go for
a thing like that? Really.

Jim, whatever you do,
don't tell him you're sorry.

It can be construed in court
as an admission of guilt.

Tell him you hope
he feels better, you hope
he's out of the hospital soon.

Things like that
can be very reassuring
and sympathetic,

but they can't be
used against you in court.

Okay, Beth.

Well, I think
maybe I'll just go in
with you and make sure.

Okay, okay.

[WOMAN CHATTERING ON PA]

I'm sorry,
Mr. Weinstock.

What Mr. Rockford is
trying to say,

I think, is that he is sorry
that without his permission
or prior knowledge,

you went up onto his roof.

Does it hurt?

Who are you?

It was my trailer
you fell off of.
I'm Jim Rockford.

Why did you have
that telescope up there?
And that ladder?

I'm sorry, Mr. Weinstock.
Could I get you something?

Some candy,
something to read?

Maybe a wheelchair.

They told me
this morning
I might be paralyzed.

No, no.
You're gonna be fine.
You're gonna be just fine.

I know it.
I really know it.

Leave me alone. Please.

I'm sorry. I truly am.

I'm truly, truly sorry.

Didn't you hear
a word I said?

He's barely unconscious.
I really am sorry.

I mean, what if that man
never walks again?

Good morning, Beth.
If you've been in to see
poor Bruce,

it's too late.
I've already signed him up.

You know that some idiot
left a telescope on
the roof of a trailer

with a ladder.
Terribly unsafe.

I'm sorry, I don't believe
I've had the pleasure.

Let me present
my client...
The idiot.

You're James Scott Rockford?

Yeah, who are you?

This is Don Silver,
Attorney at Law,

known in the profession
as Hi-yo Silver.

He's usually at the scene
of the accident before
the ambulance arrives.

Well, you know, Beth,
in personal injury suits,
promptness pays.

And one picture
is worth $1,000.

Mmm-hmm.

Well, I'll see you
in court, Mr. Rockford.
Bring your wallet.

WOMAN ON PA:Dr. Haines,
please report to the
second floor visitor's lounge.

Did he say
he was sorry?

Don Silver.
He's almost been
disbarred twice.

He should have
a new slogan made up,

"Behind every ambulance,
you'll find one of
our mobile units."

Stop revving
your motor, honey.

It's just we don't know
whether this Weinstock guy
is really hurt or not,

and since
Don is his attorney,
I doubt he is.

What was he doing
up on your roof
in the first place?

I don't believe that
telescope business
for one minute.

Let's suppose this
whole deal is a frame-up.

Fifth cervical vertebrae
is in the neck. Do you know
what that is?

Whiplash.

No, worse.
A compression fracture.

Very difficult to disprove.

Suppose this guy wants to
take you and your insurance
company for a bundle.

Suppose he is willing to
sit in a wheelchair
for two months

while Don gets
his case to trial.

They could take you
for everything you own.

And if you say "I'm sorry,"
I'll brain you.

What was he doing
on my roof?

Look, Mr. Capicci,
you tell Bennie to call me.

I'm at the Ozark Court Hotel
next to the Santa Monica
freeway.

You tell him
it's Eddie LaSalle from
the old Chicago days.

You tell him
I'm turning the heat up
under a popcorn machine.

I'm gonna need some
downfield blocking.

It's a Private named
Jim Rockford and his poppa.

I gotta pin
their action in first.

Now, you tell Bennie
it's maybe gotta do

with the Crazy Horse
and his Uncle Vince.

Breaker, breaker,
this is Rocky Summit.

Hey, all you Jammers on I-5,
let's hear back. Come on.

BLUE KNIGHT: :
That's a 10-4, Rocky Summit.

This is the Blue Knight.
I'm at your door
and sliding home.

Getting in
for a cup of coffee,
good buddy.

That's a roger,
Blue Knight.

That's a 10-4.

Say, if you feel like
taking on a little grub,

why don't you gear down
and try Rocky's Summit.

We're serving seconds
on everything, free.

That's a roger, Rocky.

We'll be winking at you
in a little while. 10-4.

Oh, hiya, Sonny.
Glad to see you.

Yeah, Dad, I wouldn't
miss it. Little different
tonight, huh?

Come on, sit down.
Have that one.

You don't seem
too happy about
all of it.

Well,
I ain't never seen
truckers like these.

What's the matter
with them?

They ain't eating.

Now, you see that pair
over there
at the pinball machine?

They've been here
for a solid hour.

The tall guy,
all he's had to eat
is crackers and coffee.

The little guy, he ain't eaten
nothing but three mints
he stole off my cash register.

Maybe they're
just getting the lay
of the place, Dad.

You really
giving free seconds?

Yeah, Vince's idea.
He thought maybe
it'd pull them in, you know.

But we ain't selling no
firsts, so it's kind of hard
to give away seconds.

Yeah, well,
I'm gonna have something.

Hey, Vince,
I'm gonna have
a cup of that chili,

and I want some of
Vince's special soup and
how's the veal tonight?

Left over from yesterday.

Fine. Fine.
I'll have that and

Summit Inn special salad
and lots of coffee.

[LAUGHS] Yeah, it's funny.
I never knowed you was
such a big eater.

Of course, now I'm in
the restaurant business,

I guess it's natural
I notice them things.

Boy, you are a big eater.

Oh, yeah.
I have been
for a long time.

Especially when
the food's this good.

Jimmy.

Thank you, Vince.

Well, going over here,
see if I can talk in
some guys with big appetites.

Vince,
that's some kind of chili.

Some kind of chili.

How are the receipts
tonight, Rock?

$15.35, not
counting Jim here.

And not counting the 30 or


Well, they're sure
a lot better
than they were yesterday.

I think things
are beginning to
move right along.

In a week or so,
you're going to have to
b*at them off with a stick.

Don't you think so, Rock?
Don't you, Vince?

Sure you do.

Sonny, are we doing
something wrong?

Oh, no. Not that I
know of. Maybe the chili's
a little too hot.

Hot?
What do you mean "hot"?
It's not hot.

A little spicy,
maybe, but not hot.

Look, Vince,
I don't want you to
take this the wrong way,

but maybe the chili
has just a hint
too much garlic in it.

You know, I've been
eating it regularly now
for a couple of days and...

'Course, chili is such
a personal thing,
you know?

Maybe "spicy" would be
a better definition.

Yeah, yeah.
You know, a lot of people
like their chili spicy.

I know I do. Don't I, Dad?
Always like it spicy.
The spicier, the better.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I think

probably
the chili is a winner.

Sure.

Let's go on home.

Rocky, did you
tell Jimmy about
last night?

Oh, I been
so preoccupied,
I forgot.

What about last night?

Well, Vince thinks that
somebody was in the restaurant
last night after we left.

He put the mixer
on the soup counter
and it got moved,

and somebody left
the door on the fuse box
in the kitchen open.

You think a prowler?

If they hit the cash register,
they were sure in for
a big disappointment.

Well, there's not much
you can do,

except make sure
you've got good locks.

Good night, Rock, Jim.

Good night, Vince.

I'm sorry about the chili.
I hope it won't give you
heartburn.

Hey, Vince...

Vince, I just think
you ought to ease up
on the garlic.

Too much in the soup,
I'll bet.

Yeah, maybe.

Maybe I ought to
take the cloves of garlic

out of the salt cellars
on the tables, huh?

Yeah, maybe.
It's just a thought.

It's nothing you
have to decide on tonight.

By golly,
I just didn't have
the heart to tell him, Jim.

I'm sure glad
somebody did.

I didn't know about
them cloves in
the salt cellars, neither.

Good night, Dad.
Good night, Jim.

[HAMMERING]

All right, hold it.
Now get down.

Get up against
that wall. Move.

[g*n f*ring]

Okay, you throw
the heater out, then
you come out behind it.

I don't have a g*n.

Let's go.
This is a scoped deer r*fle.

You move,
it'd be hard to miss.

And I couldn't.

Get up against there.

See who this
cowboy belongs to.

James Rockford.

We stopped
the wrong guy, Sid.

Hey, how was I to know?
I mean...

You shouldn't have let
the other guy make tracks.

You was down here
to prevent that.

All we got is
old Joe's kid.

You wanted me to
drill the other guy?
You never said drill him.

I gotta tell you
everything?

All you got to do is
blow a pin out. Simple.

You never said that.
You never said anything.

Shut up.

Hey,
I hate to break this up...

You shut up, too.

You're old Joe's kid?

I stopped being a kid
when I went in the Army.

Who's the guy
who took off?

I don't know.
I saw him back here,
I came back to find out.

I don't know who he is.

Okay, get lost,
Rockford.

You're out of here
in 15 seconds or
you're a dead prowler. Go.

See you.

I hate this.

I really hate this,
and don't think
I'm not gonna tell them

down at the garage
on Tuesday.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

You're through.
I'm gonna get you
if it's the last thing I do.

You understand what
I'm saying, mister?

Who are you?
What are you talking
about?

Sure, you don't
know anything.

Fine with me.
I seen that act before.

You're all through,
Rockford. Count on it.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

ROCKY: Hey, Jim.

Jimmy, Jimmy!

Hey, Dad, I was just
gonna call you.
We gotta talk.

We sure do.

ROCKY ON MACHINE: :
All he said was,
"That's a promise."

Then he drove off.

Yeah, all right.
Take it easy, Dad.
Just slow down, will you?

What do you mean,
take it easy? How
can I take it easy?

Who is this guy
that's threatening me?

ROCKFORD:An old man
in a rumpled brown suit.

Yeah. How'd you know?

A hunch. Dad, you know
a guy by the name of Sid

that hangs out
at the restaurant
up there at night?

Sid, no.
Unless he's a friend
of Vinnie's.

You mean Vince, your partner?

No, no. His nephew, Vinnie.

Oh, Vince has a nephew named
Vinnie? What's he doing
up there?

Well,
he's staying out back there.

Remember I told you there's
three or four acres in back of
the restaurant, way out there.

Oh, yeah.

Well, Vince asked me
if the kid could
stay there.

Seems he's had trouble
at home or some darn thing.

He likes cars and, well,
there's a barn or a garage
or something.

Look, what about this guy
that's threatened me?

Let's get
back to that.

Well, I don't know, Dad.
I mean, I saw his car
outside the hospital,

then it was outside
the restaurant tonight.

He was prowling
around out there.

That ties him in with
Bruce Weinstock in some way,

and it has to do with you
or me or Vince Whitehead
or his nephew, Vinnie.

Or Sid,

or Don Silver or
the Green Bay Packers,
I don't know. I hate it.

Well, what do you think?

Well, I think I ought to
find out more
about Bruce Weinstock.

I'm gonna find his address
and go out there and check on
it first thing in the morning.

I better tell Vince.

Hey, not now. At least,
not until I find out
what's going on.

I mean, this whole thing is
flakey. I want to know why.

Miss Capicci, is Bennie there?
Put him on.

Hello.

Bennie, it's Eddie.
I gotta pull a favor.

I want you to put
this guy Rockford on ice
for me, Bennie.

Things have changed, Ed.
The whole place is
full of new people.

Bennie, I can bring down
Cappobianco.

Who cares?

That was Chicago
Ancient history, Ed.

Not to me. He took out 12
of my best friends.

Give me the address.

He's gonna show up at
a place belongs to a guy
named Bruce Weinstock.

The address is 10938
Landale Street, Hollywood.

Come on,
we don't have much time.

Hold it.

You're going for a ride,
Tarzan.

We're going to have to get
old Don Silver up here

and get a sh*t of
all this unguarded hilarity.

The nurse propped me up
this way.

I have two hours a day
when I can be unhooked
from traction.

I can't feel anything
in my legs.

You have a very interesting
garage, Mr. Weinstock.

It's full of miniature mics
and receivers and
electronic goodies.

They told me
I could be paralyzed
from the waist down.

Of course, I'm hoping
for a recovery, you know.

But if it happens, it could
take a very long time.

What'd you do
with these little mics
and receivers?

Nothing. I don't use
them for anything.

Yeah, well I figured it was
something very specialized
like that.

Of course, I think
you probably need
some marketing ideas.

I was thinking of some
on the way over here.

You know, here's one
you'd really like, Bruce.

How about just sell
all these itty-bitty mics
to itty-bitty people.

I have a small
electronics company.

I sell miniaturized custom
electronic equipment.

Now there's
a market we can mine.

But I wouldn't go around
giving away free samples,

like this one
you put in my trailer.

Come on, I didn't use one
of those at...

You know,
I got to give you a lot
of points for gall, Bruce.

I mean, there you are
up on top of my trailer
planting a bug,

you take the big fall,
and now you and Don Silver

are really actually going
to try to take me into
a personal injury suit.

Don says...
You're in a lot of trouble.

Now let's stick
to your troubles.

We've got a very sticky
invasion of privacy suit,
breaking and entering.

And then
there's a whole range
of interesting civil suits,

starting with
emotional cruelty.

You're not going to believe
this, but I haven't been
sleeping well lately,

and I'm starting to
develop abdominal lesions
from tension and worry.

I've got this doctor over in
Nogales who'll write me a very
neat letter for the court.

Hey there, you're starting
to improve already.

Hey, don't you forget to
tell Don about that
when he comes in.

What do you want?

Well, aside from
all the obvious things,

I want the name of the guy
who asked you
to plant this thing.

And I want to know why.

I don't know why.
He offered me a lot
of money and I did it.

What was his name?

LaSalle.
Edmund LaSalle.

He lives in some dump
next to the Santa Monica
Freeway.

A hotel called
the Ozark Court.

ROCKY ON MACHINE:
We got to get them
window curtains up.

I think maybe
we should change
the special for tonight.

VINCE: Okay, Rock.
But I got to
get going on the stew.

You know, it takes me
three hours to
get it cooked.

Hang it up.
Get on your feet,
Rockford.

Hey, what do you want
with me and my father?

You know, I think
one day... Sit down.

You pukes
are gonna realize

that some of us on
the other side don't care
about your juice

and your connections
in Washington.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about
Ted DeAngelo,

who, after a life of
disappointment, puts on
his three-piece suit

and with his badge
in his hand, goes out
a ten-story window in Frisco

'cause he just can't
stand it no more.

I'm talking about guys
like Nessie, who pay for
the funeral and die broke.

Nessie?

Eliot and me put 50,
maybe more, of you smart
heads in a fruit jar.

But you just kept coming.

Eliot Ness? Are we talking
about the Eliot Ness?

Because if it's
any consolation to you,
mister,

Eliot Ness was
one of my childhood idols.

So you pay him back

by hooking up
with Cappobianco?

Cappo who?

"Cappo who?"

"Cappo who?" That's priceless.
Come on, we're going
downtown.

I'm not going anywhere
with you, mister.

You know what Nitti said
when we dropped the net on him
and Cappo and them others?

Don't sh**t?

He said,
"Me and Cappo is gonna sink
this case in court."

And he did, too.

That was back when
we was busting the stills
and running through barns

with a special truck
Nessie paid for
out of his own pocket,

with a plow on the front.

Look, I hate to appear
short tempered, mister,

but what the hell
does this have to do
with anything?

You sit up here,
you're eating dog food,

you're planting bugs
on innocent citizens,

all because some guy
named Ted DeAngelo

jumped out a window
ten years ago.
Am I missing something?

That doesn't make sense.

I'm a guy who has a list,

and who, just 'cause
he gets pensioned off,

ain't gonna go sign up
for no State handouts.

I'm gonna get
Cappobianco and...

Who?

He's your father's partner,
Vincente Cappobianco.

Cappobianco means
"white head".

That explain it
for you, mister?

It sure explains the garlic.

INSPECTOR: Okay, Mr. Rockford,
I suppose that about does it.

Be sure to leave your address
with this department
on your way out.

What about my charges?
I was brought down here
at gunpoint

by a man who is nothing more
than a civilian.
That constitutes kidnapping.

You're letting him walk?

I got breaking and entering
charges against him.
He was in my room.

Shut up, Ed.

Inspector, perhaps we can
prevail upon Mr. Rockford
to fill us in, off the record.

Prevail?
Off the record?

This guy is in business with
one of the biggest mobsters
of the past 50 years.

Prevail,
my sweet aunt.

You are not
a constituted officer.

You are not
licensed to carry a g*n.

You want to make sure that
Mr. LaSalle doesn't
have a w*apon

when he leaves
this department?

Inspector...

And perhaps you could
show ex-agent LaSalle
his way out?

I still want to file
that kidnapping charge.

He's right, you know.
You and your dad are in
business with a hood.

Now, I could make things
tough for you, Rockford.

So why don't you
cut your losses and
get out of here?

I'm not sure
I like the way
that sounds, Inspector.

Look, Ed's an old man.

They didn't leave him
much when they took
his badge away.

So why don't you
forget the kidnapping,
I'll forget the B&E,

and we'll all go away
feeling cheated.

Hey, did it ever occur to
you that my dad and I

didn't know that
Vince Whitehead was
Vince Cappobianco?

Never entered my mind.
I don't believe it.

Well, let me tell you
something, Ed...

Make that Mr. LaSalle,
will you, sonny?

My dad spent 40 years
pushing a diesel
around this country.

He still thinks that
bookmakers are somebody
like McGraw-Hill.

All he wanted to do
was set up
a little business

and quit sitting around,
waiting to die.

I'll cry tomorrow.

Hey.

You lean on him
just one little bit,
Eddie,

and you'll cry, period.
Now, that's a promise
from Jim Rockford.

I ain't got time for this.

Why don't we
quit trading blows?

Why don't we throw in
together? Pool what we know?

Why?

Because something's
about to happen

and I want to make sure
my dad doesn't get hurt.

You can count on
somebody's getting hurt.

It's Tuesday.
That's Cappo's
afternoon at the garage.

Come on, you wanna see
your pappa's partner?

So I say to this guy,
"What are you talking?

"We ain't got
but three guys

"who handle that
kind of action for
the whole Eastern Seaboard.

"You got a better sh*t
at running a numbers
wheel in Harlem."

So you told him.

Yes, sir, but it ain't
gonna be enough.

You could clear it
with New York. We fix him
in about a month.

He just disappears.

I'm retired, Dave.
I got no pull
with them anymore.

Except sometimes
I do favors, you know?

But you could
talk to them, sir.
Tell our side.

Even if we was to
give this guy


Just so he knows
he ain't the only
one on this track,

that we got some action
and to watch out for
who he bumps into.

You talk to him again.

You tell him
if he doesn't think
we mean business,

to come next Tuesday.
I'll tell him myself.

Thank you, Mr. Cappobianco.

There he is, kid.
Cappobianco
sitting in a garage

like a gumbo prince,
with this scum
coming to see him.

Well, my dad always liked
to go down to a place
called the Wheel-A-Rama.

He sat in a chair there
and gave advice to guys

on how to stay awake
on long hauls.
Stuff like that. Funny.

You think that's funny?

Wait'll you get there,
kid. Ain't gonna be
so funny then.

Well, I didn't mean funny
like that. What I...

Hey, there's a number
trying to catch up
with a b*llet.

He's wild. Did two years
for car clouting.
Just got out.

They call him Crazy Horse.

You know he was using
the property up
behind the restaurant?

Sure. So what?

Well, I don't know.
But there's Vince Whitehead,
my dad,

who are partners in
a restaurant, and then
Vince loans the property

out in back to
his nephew who's a recent
graduate of Quentin.

The word's out
that he's working on cars
up there,

supposed to be
restoring them.

No kidding?

But maybe
he isn't restoring them,

maybe he's up there
switching VIN numbers
and stripping them down.

It would be dumb of Vince
to own a restaurant and
allow that to go on out back.

Only he doesn't own it.
Dad does.

Vince had it set up that way
because of his tax problems.

He takes a cut of
the profits. Dad owns it.

Maybe this time.

Maybe this time.

You were right.
You were sure as
hell right.

Let's go.

Smart.

Ten minutes after
they're stolen, those cars
are out of LA.

Three hours later, they're
being shipped all over
the country as spare parts.

No way to prove
those parts don't come
from Germany or Italy.

Operation like this ought
to net couple of million
a year. Tax free.

Yeah, we've seen enough.
Let's get out of here
and bring in the law.

Don't do what
you're thinking, Ed.

You're retired,
we're outnumbered.

We got them.
Let's just don't
mess it up, okay?

Wish I could
think of a way to get
Cappobianco up here.

I'm going down
and prowl the place.

You get the cops.

Ed! Ed,
come back here.

Damn.

That way.

You happy now?

Move it.

Hey, Vinnie,
we got visitors.

Go down and
tell Uncle Vince.
Tell him to get up here.

You again.
You got some nose
on you, Sherlock.

I've been meaning
to fix that.

Don't bother.
I'm gonna fix it
for you.

Put them in
the saddle room.

Move it.
Come on, over there.

Hey, Vince,
where's the chili order?

Vince?

Did you ever hear
of communicating,
sharing the plan?

Or are you just
too used to being
the Lone Ranger?

You're like a dog
with an old shoe.

When you gonna
leave me alone?

When one of us
is dead, Vince.

Looks like
it's gonna have to
be you, Eddie.

Don't spend it
till it's yours.

Here, I think we can
work something out,
fellows.

There's no need to
spill any blood.

You seen Pricilla?

She's dead,
almost two years now.

Nobody told me.

Do them both.

How long till they get here?

I called you five minutes ago.
Now get the cops up here.

MAN ON RADIO: :
They're already on the way.

Get on it.

Now, Sid.

[HORN HONKING]

[POLICE SIRENS BLARING]

[MAN CHATTERING
ON POLICE RADIO]

What's going on
here, anyway?

How come Vince
and Little Vinnie
are holding g*ns on you?

Man, I don't
understand none of this.

You know, Dad,
sometimes I just can't
get enough of you.

Gotcha.

You know,
if this room were on fire,

Weinstock would be
the first one
out the window.

Oh, really?

You know,
I don't know why
we're having this meeting.

After all, Mr. Rockford,
he can't agree to anything.

It's up to
his insurance company

and we're negotiating
with them, and I think

we're going to arrange
a nice $40,000 settlement
out of court.

I don't believe this!

Bruce, here, is up on my roof
planting an illegal bug,
he falls off,

and my insurance
company is supposed to
pay him $40,000?

Not to mention
the fact that there's
nothing wrong with him.

BETH: Jim. Jim, please,
let me handle this.

Mr. Rockford has
instructed me to file
an invasion of privacy,

emotional stress countersuit.

However, if you'll
drop your suit,
we'll drop ours.

Right.
Wrong.

Out of the question.
We're not interested.

I don't think
you have much of
a case there, anyway.

Okay, okay.
Now, Bruce,

I'm gonna be on you
like a sweatshirt.

You get out of
that chair for one second,
it's going to be on film.

It's not
easy to stay in a chair
indefinitely.

Well, I think this is
beginning to deteriorate.

Oh, honey. Donnie,
can we finally get
the hell out of here?

I have to be
at the casting offices
at Universal

in 25 minutes.

We're leaving.

Well, as Perry Mason
always used to say...

Oh, brother.

"See you in court."

Oh, it's a super part.
It's a super, super part.

Well, wish me luck.

Or as Flo Ziegfeld
always used to say,
"Break a leg, honey."

Good idea.
Then Don can sue
Universal for damages.

Jim,
I think we ought
to forget it.

They're gonna
b*at us in court.

The man is not paralyzed.
I saw him move his legs, Beth.

I'll testify to that.

Who's gonna believe you?
You're the defendant.

I've got a good story
here, Beth.

Nobody wants to listen.

Doesn't anyone
want to listen?

The one thing
these guys can't
cover is the money.

You can follow the money.

It's a real
Hansel and Gretel deal.

You follow that dough,
you can pin
a numbers rap down tight.

You got the guy
sewed up!

And that's why
you use numbered accounts,
Swiss banks.

You get the loot
out of the country fast.

Once it's abroad,
you got no worries.

Now, unless you're on
wet pavement or
a long downhill grade,

you take them brakes
and you put them near
the rear of your rig.

Now that way,
it makes sort of
a drag.

You know,
sort of like
an anchor.

Well, you may burn up
a little brake fuel,

but you ain't gonna
jackknife and hurt
no poor motorist.

Hey, Dad, come on.
Let's go.

You know, I remember one time
a while back...

My goodness,
it was like 20 years.

I flipped a sixteen-wheeler
on that grade coming out of
Sioux Falls.

You know, about a mile
east of the summit.
Well now...

Dad, come on. Let's go.

I'm coming, Sonny.
I'm coming.
Like I was telling you,

if you've got
them breaks.