02x19 - Night of the Piraeus

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Kojak". Aired: October 24, 1973 – March 18, 1978.*
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Show revolved around the efforts of the tough and incorruptible Lieutenant Theodopolus Kojak, a bald, dapper, New York City policeman, who was fond of Tootsie Pops and of using the catchphrases, "Who loves ya, baby?" and "Cootchie-coo!"
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02x19 - Night of the Piraeus

Post by bunniefuu »

[ Music ]

Well, at least we
ain't gonna have a couple

inches of rain to swim
around in, huh, teacher?

Oh, yeah.

Hey, teacher, how come I can hear myself
talk all the time and you never do, huh?

Why is that?

I ain't used to
partners, and I'm watching.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, there she is now.

[ Music ].

This Yannis individual, when was
the last time you saw him, Miss Carstens?

Last summer in Athens.

Please, Mr. Keeler, don't worry.

We were very close.

There's no way I'm gonna miss him.

Maybe he slipped
off, something like that.

Mr. Harris has a point.

Look, he's taking his time.

After three months at sea,
what's another 30 minutes?

I'll go in now.

Please don't worry.

[ Music ]

You ask me, I got one
weird job for a Harvard lawyer.

Don't complain, Harris.

You could have gone to Yale.

[ Music ]

Your last port of call?

We make stop in Turkey,
Spain, and Casablanca.

I don't get off boats in Screech.

Something's wrong.

Turn out your pockets, please.

[ Music ]

Okay.

Hello, Yannis.

Hey.

I've got some people with a car outside.

You do have it with you?

Of course, just like I said I would.

Come on.

[ Music ]

That's a signal, man.

Get ready.

[ Music ]

What's the matter?

My ankle.

[ Music ]

What's the matter?

[ Music ]

All right, come on.

Come on.

[ Music ]

[ Clash ]

[ Music ]

Come on.

Come on.

Where are you?

Come on.

[ Music ]

[ g*nsh*t ]

[ Music ]

Can you see, Harris?

Can you see anything at all?

One eye, yeah.

But it's tough.

Get us out of here.

And in a hurry.

[ Music ]

[ Background Noise ]

Okay.

I'm listening.

There's a Greek freighter
that just pulled in over here tonight.

Slow boat to nowhere.

This guy, Yanni Pesalidas, that's P-S-A-
He was the passenger on the SS Piranha.

That's Piraeus, Crocker.

It's a port, not a fish.

Yeah, well, anyway, the
witnesses saw a man get hit by a car.

He gets out of the car a
few seconds later, bang,

one sh*t, and the guy is
out of his misery for good.

And we have no decent I.D. on the gunman.

Means of death is
one sh*t through the heart.

His means of livelihood may
be a bit more interesting to you.

Our man's got ten bald fingers.

Acid.

Yanni Pesalidas.

How come the boat stops here?

Lieutenant, there was a girl that
pulled up in the limousine and met him.

We have a so-so identification on her.

She has black hair, dark
glasses at midnight, right?

And they said that she had a good shape.

She wears a size 7B shoe.

And when the limo pulled
away, the witnesses saw two

letters on the license
plates, BL, and that's all.

Okay, Crocker, look.

You're Prince Charming, so
you go find Cinderella with the...

Well, you know the story here.

Yeah, right.

See how easy it all is, huh?

Lieutenant, blue car, Impala
maybe, a couple of years old.

I clipped him.

There was two guys, and a
girl got in with him, a pretty girl.

She met him inside at the
customs office, the victim.

Yeah, okay.

A girl that hops from car to car, see if
he can't work out a composite on her.

And those license plates, BL,
come on, you know what to do.

Yes, sir.

I got another interesting
fact for you, Lieutenant.

Look at his eyes.

They're bloodshot.

The eyelids are swollen.

Looks like tear gas symptoms.

Mace.

Mace?

This is one hell of a Cinderella
you got me looking for.

The guy's perfect,
except that he's dead.

Well, he's almost perfect.

His pants a couple inches too big.

Hey, Lieutenant, you
spend three months on

a freighter, you're
going to drop ten pounds.

Hey, Crocker, you stand this
guy up, and he drops his pants.

No suspenders?

Where's his belt?

I don't know where his belt is.

Maybe it slipped off the
dresser in his state room.

Then find it.

Find it.

Find it.

One can of mace, one blue Impala,
one foot with suspect attached, one belt.

I want you to talk to everybody
that he talked to aboard that ship, okay?

Three and a half months at sea
with those bald little fingers of his.

Who knows?

Maybe he's cooling off.

Or maybe he's just hiding out.

And then I want you to call
the Athens police and Interpol.

See if they got anything on him.

Any jobs he might have pulled lately, okay?

Maybe diamonds.

Diamonds?

Why diamonds?

Well, what else goes
into a belt that's worth a life?

Right.

A man gets sh*t and
k*lled right in front of us, I

get practically blinded, and
we don't go to the police?

Well, you saw
nothing in any case, Harris.

And on the other hand, I saw practically
nothing, really very little myself.

I think we should tell everything
to the police, especially you.

You must be furious.

We go through all that
trouble, you practically

get the crazy thing
in your possession.

Well, we go to the police and
she will never come back to us.

It's quite obvious that
this young Greek, De Milo,

has hot blood and a
Trojan appetite for treasure.

That lady double-crossed you.

Here, an eyedrop.

Shall I put these in for you?

No, I think I better.

I think Miss Kastus will contact me
again with some outrageous new offer.

She would, wouldn't she?

Nobody pays more than I
do, nobody in the entire world.

She would know that, don't you think?

I don't understand.

Why didn't she just raise
the agreed-on price to you?

I go through all that trouble.

Because greed inspired
that young woman to eliminate

her partner and/or her lover,
thereby doubling her profits.

What an exciting new piece of
history to add to all the other legends.

And I actually saw it.

Someone's working some weird angle here.

Someone else is in on the act with her.

I think you're in for a bad surprise.

Well, I don't like
bad surprises, Harris.

In my business, maybe.

But in my hobby, never.

Oh, no, we will match every offer that is
made, and then we will give an extra 15%.

But that could come to 300,000.

So?

[ Music ].

Look, Caylus, I paid
you $5,000 to protect me.

That's right.

And fine paid me another five.

So that means something in
there is worth a lot more than 10 grand.

Hey, here.

You find it.

I can't.

Nothing.

You can do this to me
because I'm a woman, huh?

Is that why?

Is it?

Oh!

You know, that guy Yanni was no fool.

He lied to you about hiding it in the belt.

It's still on him.

Come on, lady.

What is it?

I don't know.

[ Knocking ]

Who is it?

Fine.

What is this?

Who did that?

She did it.

Liar!

Look, Mr. Fine, they've been paid.

Why don't you just ask them to leave?

We have to talk.

Yanni has cheated us.

He has?

Yes.

I understand.

Listen, I have 28,000 in here.

Where it says all the cash I have in the
world, I brought it for you two gentlemen.

You're kidding.

I'll take what's left of the
belt to settle certain accounts.

You'll k*ll the girl, yes?

Yeah, okay.

What are you doing?

That's my money, isn't it?

You too, huh?

Well, if it turns up,
you let me know, okay?

Right, thanks.

Lieutenant?

Yeah.

There's a '69 blue
Impala on a hot sheet.

It was stolen a couple
of days ago in midtown.

I told them to put it at
the top of the list, and in

case they pop it, to hold
it so we can check it out.

What about the limousine?

Well, I got a printout
of all the black Lincolns,

Caddies, Mercedes, all
with licenses starting with BL.

There's 15 of them.

A judge, a couple of big-time
lawyers, three millionaires.

And so far, none of them say they
were anyone near the docks last night.

You make the rest of the
calls, and then you call me.

Where's Crocker?

He's trying to run
down a source for mace.

It's not exactly your
countertop item around here.

Canterbury pumproom
shoes, model 2230, 200 size 7.

Where's that be?

Yeah.

Shipped last month.

Who's on this?

Saperstein.

It's a chain store.

He's running through their master receipts.

Oh, the captain's looking for you.

We got a hot twitch from Interpol.

Description, your victim Salidas
matches missing suspect Rudy Baring.

There's a novel on that
guy, and it's one cable.

Berndtus prints off the
first time with battery

acid while being held as
a suspect in Casablanca.

Tangiers.

Tangiers.

No known accomplice.

Prefers the company of women.

Hey, Frank, that could be me.

Well, anyway, they're
crazy for his body, dead or alive.

They want us to ship his corpse
back complete with all belongings.

Who does?

The Greek police, yeah.

Suspect live in Greece for a year.

Wanted for suspicion of car theft.

You mean we're giving
top priority to the car thief?

Come on, the Greeks had a word for that.

Baloney.

Baloney had a solid gold car on his belt.

Maybe it was just a solid gold buckle.

Hey, look, make it platinum.

What's it worth on the outside, $1,000?

Oh, no.

You know, maybe he stole
some m*llitary secrets and the

Greek government is too
embarrassed to tell us about it.

Maybe he stole the
recipe to that awful Greek wine.

They're afraid the world
will find out what they put in it.

He'd get more for it
here than he could over there.

Well, then it could
have been a hamburger.

Have you seen the prices next door?

Come on, will you, Frank?

Why are we taking this seriously?

The m*rder I take seriously.

But this part about the belt, wow.

Greek steamer in
the middle of the night,

rain, a beautiful girl
loses a red and tan shoe.

We got the Maltese
falcon in here somewhere.

I mean, maybe the guy was heading for the


He could have dropped
it overboard or it broke.

Is that so impossible?

Yes.

Why?

Because the custom inspector
saw it when he turned out his pockets.

Oh, you really
sandbagged me on that one.

All right.

So what does go into a belt that
you want to bring into the states?

That the Athens police don't want
to tell us about, that you get k*lled for.

Yeah.

Captain, lieutenant, sometime
this morning a Porter at the Woodsley

Hotel finds two bodies, one male,
one female, both of them sh*t.

Okay, get making a rally.

They're at the top of the charts.

Well, the female was in her stocking
feet and they found one red and tan shoe.

[dramatic music].

Good morning, Mr. Fein.

Good morning, Nancy.

Oh, uh, Mr. Fein, about my
commission on the Saint-Gaudens...

I beg your indulgence, Carter.
One more day and we'll settle everything.

Well, I wouldn't ask, but I need
to have some... Coffee, Mr. Fein?

No, thank you, and no interruptions,
please. Not till I buzz you.

Oh, sure. You do me a lot of favors, Lenny.

What the hell does a
hostage do around here?

Cleaner Johns, look at this.

Yeah, Lieutenant, what do you want from me?

She a steady around here?

Oh, no, no, not for years.

Not since she got up in the world.

We used to, uh, call her the Milo.

Uh, it was kind of a trade name, you know.

They all got something, but...

The Milo was the only one I ever
knew who really lived up to the...

The natural expectation.

I was only 16 when I knew her.

She didn't recognize me
downstairs, but I knew her.

Oh, that's nice.

What did you call her? The Milo?

Well, most people, uh, pronounced it Milo.

She pronounced it Meelo.

But her real name is Elaine Kastus.

I see. What about the guy?

There were two of them.

Edward Teachin, that's who we got here.

Okay, look, let's go down
and look at some pictures, huh?

Maybe down there we'll find out
who knew more about the Milo.

Why don't you try Betsy Vellon?

Betsy Vellon? She never worked in Nevada?

Look, lieutenant, all I know is that
Betsy Vellon took her off the street...

and gave her some class...
and took her commission.





Mm-hmm.

It's a bargain compared to this, right?

Yeah.

[♪♪♪].

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪].

[♪♪♪].

Brother and sister...
reunited at last.

Was there ever such a pair of twins?

Harry, you're a genius for
what you're about to do next.

Nancy, get me Henry Keeler.

[♪♪♪]

I happen to be a night person...

and I don't like getting up
before 3 o'clock, lieutenant.

Lieutenant, Betsy, it's me, Theo.

Yeah, 3 o'clock.

Milo Kastas.

One of your star attractions?

I mean, uh, one of your
races in the hall, Betsy?

Well, for a while.

You know, they move on, find a man.

No, no, no man for Milo Kastas.

You should have taken her to Nevada.
The odds are better. She's dead now.

Somebody k*lled her.

Nice kid like that.

What do you do, introduce
somebody with a .38 caliber for libido?

Elaine was a very dear
person to me at one time.

We do form our attachments, odd
as it might seem to you, lieutenant.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Nice kid like her.

You know, we don't get too many
walking the streets like that anymore.

You know what I'm thinking?

I'm thinking this whole town went down the
tubes when Joe DiMaggio quit the Yankees.

Have you ever noticed, lieutenant,

that besides having a very bald
head, you have a very large nose?

Oh, how about my big baby browns?

Because when they see a fresco on
a postcard from the Athens Museum,

they want to turn it around because
my hands go all kinds of funny.

Gee, I'm going blind.

And it says, uh, "We'll see
you in the fall. Love, Elaine."

Who's we, Betsy?

Oh, well, you know, I never knew.

All I know is that, uh, Elaine came
back alone a couple of months ago.

Hmm. Elaine and the Athens Museum.
That's old figure.

You know, what a thunk. You don't
mind if I give the card to you, thanks.

[ Phone Rings ]

Please call back. I'm busy.

Hold it. I'm looking for lieutenant Korjac.

So, suddenly I'm a telephone operator.

Oh, excuse me. Yeah.

I was down at Danziger's,
the police supply company.

There was a guy in there last week,
said he was on the force in Cleveland,

and he was checking on
different brands of mace.

Then decided not to buy any. So?

Well, they found one
missing as soon as he left.

Would you believe the guy
lifted one right under their noses?

Anyhow, I have the
other cans that he was

looking at, and we
lifted a clean set of prints.

FBI knows him as Raymond Callis.

BCI's digging out his record for us now.

Hey, lieutenant, this guy's a gunslinger.

Okay, I'll be right back.

Betsy.

Raymond Callis. Huh?

Yeah, Raymond Callis. So, what about him?

He comes here sometimes. Oh, yeah?

Well, I figure so she met him here.

Hey, look, you're a nice kid, all right?

The next time he comes here,
you pick up that phone and call me.

Right away, you understand?
This is a bad, bad, bad person.

I don't want you protecting him, okay?

Mm-hmm.

I like that.

"Pull a yellow sheet on Edgar Allen Poe."

Is that actually what you just said to me?

That's right, Frank.

The first master of the
detective story, the gold bug.

The port-loin letter.
You remember that one?

It's the raven in that one?

No, Frank. This was a letter
out in the open with the vital clue.

Frank, it's right there in front of you.

I read it. No. In the belt.

You ready? A stamp.

Could be.

And why does Yanni Salidas
bother to smuggle it into the States?

Mm-hmm. Because someone over here...

is nuts enough to pay more for it than
anybody else in the world, and he knows it.

Oh, it's a theory.

That's not what I told the Athens police.
I told them I knew it was a stamp.

And I told them to gather all
the information they could...

on this Salidas' recent, uh, escapades.

You know, that is the
most staggering example...

of conclusion jumping I've ever heard of.

You can't be sure it's a stamp.

Wrong.

Look. On this list...


been in the area Salidas' m*rder.

And this Mr. Henry Keeler... told Inspector
Stavros that it's none of his business...

where he was last night.

So? So, Henry Keeler is listed
in Who's Who in America...

as owning the largest private
collection of...

postage stamps.

Voila.

Now, if you don't see
the connection, Frank...

I suggest you brush up
on your Edgar Allen poem.

Lenny Koff was in here
and made a tentative I.D.

of Raymond Avery Callis as the
man who walked into the Woodsley...

with Teechan and Elaine Costas.

All right, you put out
an alarm on Callis...

and Crocker called the property
recovery unit, the R-Section squad...

asked them for names of
dealers they think would buy...

a stolen stamp for a lot of bread.

Postage stamp?

Yeah. But then I want 'em staked out.

What are we looking for?

Raymond Avery Callis.
You got a short memory.

Anybody wants me, I'm gonna
be with Mr. Henry W. Keeler.

I don't like anybody being rude
to my men on the telephone.

Hey, babe.

I'm at the airport. Why aren't you here?

Ray... the police
were just here.

Look, they know about you.

I'm scared to leave.
I'm scared they're gonna follow me.

How can I know?

How'd they get onto me?

I don't know.

But look, Ray, I had to tell
them that you knew Elaine...

because they're gonna ask the other
girls... and they're gonna find out anyway.

And look, Ray, I can't
afford to get caught in a lie.

Not now.
Especially not now that she's dead.

I'm standing here with
two tickets in my pocket...

and $38,000 in my bank,
and I gotta listen to this?

There's nobody that can prove nothing.

There's nobody left but us.



What was it, Ray? What was in the belt?

Nothing. It's a long story.

I come out way ahead anyway.

Hey, look, fine's the only guy
that can put the finger on me.

And to do that, he's gotta nail himself.

So? So suppose the cops get to fine.

Look, Ray, I'm scared.
They're busting this case.

Suppose they make a
deal with Fein to get to you.

Oh, that's terrific. That's a... that's a
real wonderful thought you got there.

Look, Ray, I run away with you.

Fine sh**t off his mouth.
The cops come after us.

Look, all my life, I have been
one step ahead of the cops.

I should never have done it.

I should never have put
you and Elaine together.

Oh, God, I should have stayed out of this.

All right.

I'll take care of it.
Don't get in a sweat, huh?

[ sighs ]

Flight 31 now arriving
at Kennedy Airport at 9.7.

Flight 6 now boarding at gate 7.

I made it explicitly clear in my call
that I wanted Mr. Keeler here in person.

Mr. Fine, I have handled acquisitions
for my client all over the world.

He trusts me implicitly.

It is not a normal acquisition.

As I understand, the stamp
is not officially on the market.

It's stolen property.

It is officially in the safe of
a prominent Greek diplomat.

It is not reported stolen, nor will it be
for certain complex political reasons.

Nonetheless, it must be privately
owned with no public announcement.

Consequently, its value must be
considerably below its market value.

No, Mr. Harris.

I put every cent of capital I have
in the world into this particular deal,

and I assure you I intend
to make an enormous profit.

Mr. Fine, I don't even know
if you really have the stamp.

You have them both.

The brother and the sister.

I thought Tanoka had the brother in Japan.

Tanoka sold to me privately last year.

Both stamps in one man's hand.

They haven't been together
in more than a century.



One million even.

Nonsense.

A million is way out of line.

Especially since the stolen sister makes
the entire deal illegal in the first place.

Mr. Harris.

When you bring Mr. Keeler here to me,

I have a way of making
the deal perfectly legal.

He'll walk out of here with a
possession unique in the world,

and one which he can
display publicly anyplace.

And he'll be delighted
to pay a million for it.

So until I see him
sitting in that chair over

there, I see no reason
for further explanation.

Now please deliver my message.

[Music]

[Music]

[knocking].

Yes?

Lieutenant Kojak.

To see Mr. Keeler,
Manhattan South, and all that.

Mr. Keeler, there's a
Lieutenant Kojak here to see you.

Hark.

Relax.

Fantastic.

Mr. Keeler, I'm Lieutenant Kojak.

Oh, yes, sir. I'm just arranging a
few things in response to your call.

Oh, dear. My hands shake so.
It's difficult.

Well, let's not waste any time.
I'll get right to the point.

Waste time?
How can one waste time in this field, sir?

Time is frozen here.
Frozen in tiny moments of history.

Here, come round. Let me show you.

Here, look at this. This group.

Flying upside down in
perfect formation for all time.

Beautiful.

Now look at this.

This is the Elba Wafer, a round stamp
printed by Napoleon during his exile.

It's one of only three of its kind
known to exist in the entire world.

You're kidding.
How much is that worth, Mr. Keeler?

Oh, why must everything
be put in monetary values?

Look at this, sir. Please look and dream.

An emperor, Napoleon
himself, designed that stamp.

He sat on a high cliff over the
Mediterranean, contemplating

Egypt and Moscow,
planning his return to France,

remembering his lovely Josephine
with this one fragile, invaluable gesture.

Yeah, but in dollars and cents, I'm
still crass enough to ask, Mr. Keeler.

Oh, very well.

I am told that this stamp
sold in 1867 for $12,000.

Oh, and there were two men k*lled.
They were brothers.

They were transporting the stamp to
Philadelphia for the centennial of 1876.

Now, of course, enhanced by this
legend, the stamp reappeared again in 1907.

It went then for $27,000.

I've recently been offered as much as
$205,000, and yet never would I sell. Never.

I buy, Lieutenant. I never sell.

So, the more violent its
history, the more its value.

So, m*rder, that's an enhancement, right?

I suppose you might call that rather a
policeman's nightmare, wouldn't you say?

And what might you pay for a
stamp recently stolen in Greece

that's just inspired three
murders, Mr. Keeler,

one of which I think you may have
witnessed the other night near Pier 50?

And what stamp may that be, sir?

I was hoping you'd tell me.
You buy, you don't sell.

And is there anybody who
pays more than you? I doubt it.

So do I, but as far as witnessing
any crime is concerned,

well, I don't know
anything about that at all.

Is there, uh, is there anything else?

Oh, yeah.

Um, you know, if anybody should
approach you with stolen goods,

you know, a unique,
uh, valuable piece of gum

paper, I would expect
that you would contact me.

You know, receiving stolen
goods is a crime, Mr. Keeler.

And how could you show it in
respectable company anyway?

You still don't grasp this
passion, sir, this philatelomania.

Do you really think,
where the Elba stamp is

concerned, that I care
who sees it besides myself?

Let me see.

I mean, what you're saying
is that you'll spend a fortune

to sit here all alone and gaze
at your stolen stamps, right?

And you get even more
excited if you find out it

has a whole trail of
bloody history behind it.

That you might even cover up
a k*ller in order to get the stamp.

Maybe even pay to have
somebody k*lled in order to get it.

Huh?

Candidly, yes.

I must confess I've
always found most stamps

much more meaningful
than most people's lives.

And yet, k*ll someone, myself, never.

Candidly, Mr. Keeler, I
think your attitude, it stinks.

I'll tell you something.

If I find out you've
been holding out on me,

I'm going to come back here and
sneeze all over your Melba wafer.

Open, Sesame.

Fantastic.

[dramatic music].

[phone ringing].

- Harris, did you get it?

Did you get the sister?

- No, Mr. Keeler, you're
gonna go over there now.

Talk to him yourself.

He's got both of 'em.

- Together?

- The brother and the sister.

One million.

- One million?

- No, that's too much and too soon.

That's always the danger, Harris.

These things inevitably fall
into the hands of the merchants.

Still, I suppose I must go, mustn't I?

Just to see them.

- I can't stand to fight
this mayonnaise mogul.

There he is, sitting on his millions, gluing
the little stamps into his little books.

- You don't glue them in and out of books.

That's one thing you definitely don't do.

- Mr. Nicholas Julius, I'd like
you to meet Lieutenant Kojak.

- Lieutenant, nice to see you.

- Mr. Julius was rushed
over here by the Greek consul

about 20 minutes after
your last cable to Athens.

- I gather you haven't
found this stamp yet.

- Well, why don't you describe
it and save us a lot of confusion?

- Almost four months ago, Lieutenant.

And as I've told the captain, we
wish to keep this purely confidential.

A stamp was stolen from the safe of
an assistant commissioner of police.

In the first place, it was
misappropriated from a political prisoner.

And in the second place, it was very
embarrassing, as you can imagine.

- Tell him what the stamp was.

- Well, it's called the sister.

It's one of a pair.

There are only two in the world.

- Oh, you know, I keep
asking this crass question.

How much does it cost?

- About a quarter of a million.

However, in these times of economic
recession, it may be difficult to fetch.

- Oh, no, not for a man like Mr. Keeler.

Again, people start eating a
lot of tuna fish and mayonnaise

when that steak starts
jumping over the moon.

- What about this list from the art squad?

They brought in six known dealers,

high-class forgeries, stolen
coins, that sort of thing.

- Oh, yeah?

Every kid is doing a
razzle-dazzle job with one of them.

Maybe pick up a link
between him and Callis.

- May I see the list?

Very fine.

- All right, what about him?

- I was asked by my government
several months ago to check him out.

Intercepted several letters from him

to the previous owner of the stamp,

asking if it was for sale.

And I was told to tell
him that it wasn't for sale

and to make sure that
he had no idea that it

had been stolen, which
I don't think he did.

- Very fine, expressing an interest
in a quarter-million-dollar sister, right?

Oh, thank you, Mr. Julius.

- Lieutenant?

Lieutenant.

There'll be a lot of red faces
in Athens if this gets out.

- Oh, really?

Well, Mr. Julius, I
wouldn't care if the whole

city of Athens suffers
from embarrassment.

I've had three killings in my precinct.

How do you think that makes me feel?

Adio, Kiri Julius.

[dramatic music]

[dramatic music]

- May I offer you a
glass of wine, Mr. Keeler?

Some Sherry, perhaps?

I have a unique 1897 Diamond Castillo.

- Forget the Sherry, Fein.

Let me see those stamps.

Mr.
Harris told me you wouldn't be interested.

- I said more correctly,
not for a million dollars.

- Mr. Harris understands
me quite well, sir.

- Well, perhaps I ought to put 'em back.

- Stop putting on this
act at my expense, sir.

You know perfectly well I
have to see those stamps.

- Forgive me, but this is such
a delicious moment for me.

You know how long I've wanted
to bring these two together?

- Not half as long as I.

- Yes, but I did it, and
without your money.

- I agreed stroke of luck by
saving, dealing this for that,

and waiting for just the propitious moment.

- And by k*lling?

- Me?

I k*lled no one.

There was some intrigue.

I understand certain victims.

- Some intrigue?

Oh, come now.

Four months ago, Miss Castus came to me.

Her Greek boyfriend
wanted to steal that stamp.

They needed a $10,000 advance

against a $100,000 purchase
price, and I gave it to them.

Later, when it came time to deliver,
Miss Castus had changed her mind.

Now, sir, that's a lot of intrigue.

Now, tell me, how did you get into this?

- I see no reason to go into these details.

- Well, I do.

We have no evidence.

We're not trying to prove
something against you.

This is history.

You don't understand that, do you?

Money, not stamps.

That's what runs in your blood, isn't it?

Look here.

When I examine those two little specimens

that you have closeted in that box on
your desk, I want to know everything.

Every divorce, death,
escapade, m*rder, and theft.

Absolutely everything.

Those things, sir, are the
lifeblood history of a stamp.

Now, come on.

Tell me what happened.

How did you get your hands on the sister?

- I think if you have any hope of a sale--
- Well, if you think this is so important,

Miss Castus heard
of my interest in this

particular stamp, and
asked for an appraisal.

I gave her one and
confirmed her worst fears.



I'm gonna make a long story short.

- Must you?

- Yes, I want to get on with this.

I agreed to pay her $200,000 for the stamp.

She supplied a man, I supplied another,
and we took it from her ex-boyfriend.

There were subsequent counterplays,

and I ended up with the stamp.

And that's all we have to go with.

- These counterplays,

tell me about them, please.

Will you?

Please?

[dramatic music]

[indistinct chatter]

- Oh, I'm sorry, sir,
but we're closing now.

- That's all right, I'm
just waiting for Mr. Fine.

Very good.

- Oh, gentlemen, I'm sorry, we're closing.

- Yes, I'm Lieutenant
Kojak, Manhattan South.

This is Detective Crocker, and we came
here to see Mr. Fine, if you don't mind.

- Lieutenant, it's Callis!

[music]

[dramatic music]

[dramatic music]

[dramatic music]

- Lieutenant!

- Hold it, Callis!

[dramatic music]

- All right, get out!

- So I took a little
transportation, big deal.

[Callis grunts]

- Got the g*n?

- No!

- All right, easy.

- Um, let's see your driver's license.

- I think, Mr. Keeler, the time has come.

- Indeed.

[clicks].

- Ah, the brother.

You see, Harris, the tiniest
line running down the border?

Beautiful.

[laughs]

And the sister, the one that
has caused all of the mischief.

- Authentic, Mr. Keeler.

- The continuation of the
line running down the border.

That's excellent, excellent,
excellent condition.

$600,000, Mr. Fein, my one
and only offer for them both.

- Possibly this pair of stamps is not
unique enough to be worth the million I ask.

After all, two paintings of the Mona
Lisa would surely lessen the value.

- Why are we discussing the Mona Lisa?

[clicks]

What are you doing?

- Creating in a few seconds a single stamp.

worth a full million by itself.

- No!

- The brother watches
the sister, transformed,

ashes to ashes.

- No!

- Mr. Keeler, you have at your fingertips

the single most valuable
stamp in the world.

It needs only you to protect it from
a world of thoughtless businessmen.

- Mr. Keeler?

[gentle music].

- Oh, he's with Mr. Keeler, Lieutenant.

He can't be disturbed.

- Oh, with Mr. Keeler, huh?

- What's all this?

- What's all this?

This, this, this is a
Raymond Avery Callis.

He's a prime suspect in a
number of recent murders.

- Hey, you gotta prove that. - You shut up!

- He was hired by Elaine Kastus.

He's the one who bought the mace

that she's used to set up
the Yanni's down at the docks.

He's also seen in one
of your own galleries.

All very coincidental, and
you, sir, never saw him before.

- Never? - Of course not.

How about you, Mr. Keeler?

You were there, you
must have seen something.

- Mm-hmm.

Oh, excuse me.

- How do you figure on this?

- I drove the car that night.

Let me tell the truth, Mr. Keeler.

We saw nothing, we were both blinded.

We left the scene, but
that's no great crime.

- May we go on with
our business, Lieutenant?

You seem to have reached a dead end.

- No.

No, I was not blinded.

I saw perfectly well what happened.

- Mr. Keeler, if you want this stamp--
- If I want this stamp what?

Be silent?

- I see no reason to go
into the history of this stamp

for someone so lacking in
the appreciation of philately.

- Philately, of course.

But Mr. Keeler's already explained to me

that he finds stamps more
significant than people's lives.

I hope you've had second
thoughts about that, sir.

- Not about the lives
of insignificant people.

I've just witnessed a hard, cruel death.

Foulest, inconceivable m*rder.

An irreplaceable life, his beloved sister.

Lieutenant, this Mr. Callis.

I saw him k*ll Mr. Salidas
on the dock that night.

I saw him just as clearly
as I see you now, sir.

- Hey, you're crazy, this guy's crazy.

- No!

If it hadn't started that way,
the sister would still be alive.

- It's a long, convoluted
and violent story, sir.

- You get me out of this Fein.

You get me a lawyer!

- Why him, Callis?

I thought you never saw him before.

- You're kidding.

He set up the whole thing.

You want him, we make a deal.

- You make a deal with the DA's office.

Okay, fine, let's go.

- No!

- Crocker.

- Excuse me.

- Not gonna change your
mind, are you, Mr. Keeler?

- No more than I could replace that stamp.

Now this other one, Lieutenant, it
must be cared for most carefully.

The proper temperature and humidity.

What's going to happen to it?

- Oh, well, put in a little Manila envelope

on a shelf in the police property
department till we get this case sorted out.

Hey, look, if you wanna pick
out the shelf, you be my guest.

- May I?

♪ That is the night ♪.
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