03x02 - Log 35: Easy Bare Rider

[bunniefuu]

One-Adam-12, handle code 3.

♪♪

- I don't believe it.
- I do.

Come in.

Ohh.

An ounce of prevention,
sir. Top of the morning.

It's afternoon, sir.

Well, top of the afternoon, sir.

You know you made an
illegal right turn back there.

With malice toward none.

Well, that's a nice philosophy,

- but you broke the law.
- Guilty as charged.

You don't have to plead guilty.

I'm not a judge,
just a police officer.

Bless you, young man.

And bless you, sir,

for a job well done.

May I see a license, please?

Certainly.

I have no pockets.

No pants.

I've... I've... I believe
my license is in my pants.

But I will go quietly
and "cooderfully."

- And gently...
- Step right back
into the car, please.

Well, sir, you don't have to
ra... raise your voice to me.

I'm a citizen,
you're a policeman,

and I will cooperate to a...

Just don't touch
this door, okay?

Okay.

You say you left your
driver's license in your pants.

True. Too true, sir.

And do you have any idea
where you left your pants?

On Pismo Beach.

With that dirty Ernie.

He forgot to tell me. Hmm.

You mean, you walked
off the beach like that?

"Certandie."

Oh, except, well, it
was... it was deserted.

Except there was
some assorted plant life

and seashells, sir.

Sir, seashells, sir.

Uh, look, Mr... um...

Hmm? Oh. The name is...

Simmons. J. Simmons.

And you are?

Officer Reed.

Officer Reed. And you, sir?

- Malloy.
- Officer Malloy.

Do you have any clothes
with you, Mr. Simmons?

I'm afraid I do not, sir.

Nothing at all to cover up with?

Oh, I have cover.
That's cover. Cover.

- That's just fine.
- That's cover.

Wouldn't you know it? They're
never around when you need 'em.

- Who?
- The curious gaping crowds.

I was hoping to borrow
something from somebody

to could cover up
Mr. Godiva here.

You better call and
get us some help.

- With a blanket.
- Right.

- You... You are...
- Malloy.

Malloy. Officer Malloy.

May I trouble you
for a comb, sir?

My comb?

Sure.

Fine feathers make fine birds,

as they say down
at my barber shop.

It's on the sign.

Well, don't you think clothes
would help a little, too?

No. Not "necesselary."

No. Skin... must breathe.

The body must breathe
just like the nose.

Air must get in
all over. Freedom.

You just take it easy.

- Help's on the way.
- Yeah.

This is One-Adam-12.

We're in the 900
block of Cynthia Street

with a 502,

requesting One
L-20 with a blanket.

One-Adam-12, verify.

A blanket?

One-Adam-12, roger. A blanket.

One-Adam-12, roger.

Simmons!

Come on now. Where
do you think you're going?

I just thought I would run down

and get the
afternoon paper, sir.

I'm gonna read a little.

Okay?

Didn't I tell you not
to touch the door?

You said that door.

Okay, don't touch any door.

Roger.

Oh, Officer...

Officer Malloy, you didn't
need any reinforcements.

Oh, you're Reed.

Well, you didn't need any

because I'm a gentle creature.

I... Just full of
fun, that's all.

Yeah, most of it's 90 proof.

You better keep an eye on him.

What's this about
a blanket for a 502?

- A naked 502.
- Need a hand?

Nah, he'll come
along peacefully.

I'll take care of the car.

Okay, Mr. Simmons,
now you can get out.

Okay. Here we go.

It's like getting
out of a shower.

Gentlemen, I am both
privileged and honored.

I am deeply, deeply grateful.

How can I thank you?

Forget it. It's our pleasure.

Oh, no. It's my pleasure.

And I suppose now
our destination is,

as the youngsters say,
"the local slammer"?

Right on, Mr. Simmons.

Oh, well, just one more thing.

If you get back
down to the beach,

would you keep your eye
out for a pair of trousers?

And if the right...
The right pocket

is full of clam
shells, they're mine

from Pismo Beach.

- Yes.
- Yes, Mr. Simmons.

Okay. That dirty Ernie.

Oh, hey. Hey! Aloha.

Aloha. Pax vobiscum
and auf wiedersehen!

Okay?

Better make a
note of that, Reed.

- Note of what?
- The right hand pocket
is full of Pismo Beach clams.

- Right.
- Right, roger.

♪♪

¡Vaya con Dios!

One-Adam-29, One-Adam-29,

a 415 family dispute,


- Code 2.
- Isn't that the car

that has a reserve
officer working tonight?

Yeah. Tom Stark. He's
riding with Harry Flynn.

Stark should be able to
handle that call pretty well.

How come?

On his regular job,
he's a family counselor.

Oh, what makes a family
counselor want to go into police work?

Sure must not be the money.

What do you mean?

How does $10 grab you?

That's for pulling
two watches a month,

and that's after six months
training at the Academy.

Oh, well, why then?

Maybe he just wanted
to learn first-hand

about some of the problems that
are bringing people into his office.

Well, in this job, he'll sure
get an education in that.

One-Adam-12, One-Adam-12,

see the man, 484 suspect.

4174 Copeland Avenue. Code 2.

One-Adam-12, roger.

How do you like that?

And I'll tell you
one thing for sure,



You know, something
like a family doctor.

Okay, thank you very
much. I'll get it right over.

Oh, hello, officers.

Um, I'm George Edwards
and I'm sure glad to see you.

What can we do for you?

Well, you know, I've
been here 18 years

and I know everybody
that comes in here

and know everything about 'em.

You know, sort of
like a family doctor.

That's why I called
about that one over there.

- Who is he?
- Well, his name
is Bobby Loomis.

Never spent more than
a dime in here before.

I guess he never
had more than a dime.

But today he went through the
place like it was a smorgasbord.

- So?
- Yes, sir.

And he paid for it with this.

A crisp $50 bill.

What can you tell us
about the boy, Mr. Edwards?

Well, Bobby's a good youngster.

I think.

You see, his real folks
died a couple of years ago.

They were k*lled in
an automobile accident

and since then he's
been living with his uncle.

Uh, Ozzie Loomis.

I'll tell you one
thing for sure,

Ozzie Loomis never saw
a $50 bill in his entire life.

Did you ask Bobby
where he got it?

Yeah. He said his
grandma gave it to him

for his birthday.

Well, how much of the


I think it's about 25 and tax.

- Hello, Bobby.
- Hello.

I'm Officer Malloy.
This is Officer Reed.

- Hi, Bob.
- Hi.

I see you're a
Dodger fan. So am I.

Hey, you're pretty
well loaded, son.

Don't you want to set
some of that stuff down?

Well, I have to be
getting home now.

We'd like to make that
happen just as soon as we can,

but first we have to
ask you some questions.

Uh, you mean about the money?

Yeah, well, I already
told Mr. Edwards.

How about telling us.

I got it for my birthday.

From my grandmother.

How old are you, Bobby?

Nine. Almost ten.

- Oh. When'll you be ten?
- In March.

Well, then your last birthday
was about five months ago.

I mean, the one where your
grandmother gave you the $50.

Yeah. I guess so.

And you waited until
today to start spending it?

Well, here's the
stuff and the change.

That's all of it.

Where'd you get
the $50 bill, son?

It was in a bag.

Do you still have the bag?

- You want to show us?
- Yeah. Okay.

- He tell you where he got it?
- He says he found it.

Here's your change
and your merchandise.

Last of the big-time
spenders, huh?

How do you like that?

He even thought of Fido.

Is this the first money
you've taken out of that bag?

Yes, sir.

There's 2,000 bucks right here.

Well, you better go
count the rest of it.

What's the story, Bob?
Where did it come from?

- I found it.
- Where?

In back of the supermarket.

Over at Grand and Lexington.

When was that?

A little over a month ago.

I rode over on my bike
early one Sunday morning.

There was a bin in back
full of empty cartons.

I needed one to build
a house for my dog.

The bag was in the
bottom of the carton.

Well, I didn't even see the bag
until I got back to our garage.

After you saw the money, did you
have any idea who it belonged to?

The supermarket. I figured somebody
dropped it in there by mistake.

Or it fell in without
anybody noticing.

There's $21,000 all together.

I, uh... I think I better
go call the detectives

from inside the drug store.

So you had a pretty good
idea whose money it was,

why didn't you
take it back to 'em?

Well, I wanted to. I really did.

But you didn't.

No, sir. I didn't.

I know it was stupid,
but... I don't know.

It was like playing a game
and I didn't want it to be over.

Those stacks of 50 and 100 bills

can get a guy pretty
excited, you know?

Didn't you think
somebody'd be looking for it?

Yeah, sure, but...

bringing it back that late,

they'd think I
stole it, for sure.

Well, you spent
some of it today.

And you knew it wasn't yours.

Wouldn't you call that stealing?

Can I take my bike
home before I go to jail?

Well, you're not
gonna go to jail, son.

I'm not?

Well, what about what I did?

You said it was stealing.

Yeah.

Now I want you to
get one thing straight.

What you did was wrong.

You kept something
that didn't belong to you.

As it happens, it
was very valuable.

But no matter how much
or how little it was worth,

if it's not yours,
you can't keep it.

You understand that now?

Yes, sir. I understand.

I want you to come
down to the station with us

and tell the juvenile officer
exactly what you did, okay?

- Okay.
- And then we'll go out
and talk to your uncle

and you can tell
him all about it.

How he handles it is up to him.

There's one more thing.

The malt and the
candy you ate in there.

You know you're gonna
have to pay for that.

If you don't have the money, you
can work it out for Mr. Edwards.

- Is that fair enough?
- Okay.

Say, uh, could I have one
last look at that $50 bill?

Sure. Here you are.

You know something?

This stuff sure can get a
guy into an awful lot of trouble.

Mmm. Man. It sure turned cold.

Yeah, I'm glad
we changed shirts.

Hey, have you
seen that movie yet?

- Which one?
- Oh, it's called Booby Trap.

- No, no. Have you?
- No. But the ad
sure looked good.

"A pulsating drama
of throbbing romance,

"dark intrigue,
tingling excitement,

and exploding passions."

- What's it all about?
- Cops.

- Cops?
- Yeah.

"Tingling romance
and exploding passion"?

- Yeah.
- "Dark intrigue
and throbbing romance."

- It must be a comedy.
- Either that, or we're
working the wrong division.

We better go check the park.

Are you getting as bored
with this routine as I am?

Picks up when I
remember that some thief

is making $100,000 a year

off goods that
don't belong to him.

Been in that park so often,

I feel like I know it
better than gophers.

How long are we
gonna keep checking?

When the watch
commander pulls us off.

- That answer your question?
- Mm-hmm.

Malloy.

One-Adam-12, code


One-Adam-12, roger.

Should I open up, Louis?

Yeah, open up.

Seen enough?

No.

They got a whole midnight
auto supply going there.

- So?
- So let's get 'em.

For what? Driving
on public property?

That's a traffic violation.

Right now, all we can
do is give 'em a citation.

Well, what about all
that stuff he's carrying?

You know the answer to that one.

"It was all bought
and paid for in cash."

Yeah.

Should have brought
a coat or something.

Here you go.

I think we got a big one here.

All we gotta do is drop the net.

You better call for assistance.

Right.

Why don't you
sit inside the cab?

Yeah, I think I'll do that.

- Keep an eye out.
- Right.

Start the motor so
you can use the heater!

You yell one more time...

Adam-15 is covering
the front of the truck.

Lou!

You're late.

Yeah.

You got the fuel injectors?

Tell him, Lou.

Brand new. I got it
off a new Corvette.

The guy probably
picked up the car today.

Yesterday, at the earliest.

We, uh, picked him up at Sunset

and followed him to
this mansion in Bel Air.

Wait 'til he gets
out of there, huh?

Will you get it?

Cost you a hundred and a half.

Come on. I haven't got
a hundred and a half.

Then you haven't
got an injector.

Hold it.

- You thief.
- That's funny.

All right.

This a Ferrari generator?

It'll cost you 50.

Might be able to use it.

Your lucky night, Fox.

Sure. Sure.

You want the
generator or don't you?

Okay.

You still got that
Porsche seat, Fox?

Vic, get the Porsche seat.

Hold it! Police officers!

All right. Raise your
hands. All of you.

Up against the van, right now.

Put your hands
up against the van!

Reed. You better
give Malloy a hand.

Right.

Do you wish to give up the
right to speak with an attorney

and to have him present
during questioning?

I want my lawyer.

Hi.

You, uh, need a hand?

No. We just called a truce.

Where you been keeping yourself?

Back there.

Uh, you look a little wrinkled.

- What happened?
- We just worked out
on the bars for a while.

It was lots of fun.

You know, you, uh... You
worry me sometimes, partner.

I mean, at your age, you ought to
learn how to pace yourself a little.

- Oh, is that so?
- Yeah. Moderation.

That's the answer. I mean, you
shouldn't try to do everything by yourself.

If you need help, just call.

I'll be glad to lend a hand.

Fine. Pick up my hat, will ya?

Hmm.