09x04 - Advert sh**ting

[bunniefuu]

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[Music]

[Music] my room at the Bell Toro is free run

away with Jodi why don't you share one of the waitresses the five-star treatment don't go mad on the room

service ma'am you're having a staring competition with

em side eggs I think you've won I just saw one of them blink some of not right if my everything was a call yeah I

spent our time playing don't lump in a Ralph an hour oh yeah you promised you'd use this time so relax I'm not worried about our Jordy

you're I I did sausage bacon egg beans as brown sauce while stood out yesterday

indigestion you should have at flo salad light nation you have the fruit salad as

a pudding after a full English actually it's more of a palate cleanser before I

go unchecked muffins and course on Oh how did you mind while we're at the

table I thought getting with kisses back this morning when a good thing okay I got your same captain job is it and

we're more comfortable not mushrooms I don't want them there Tim oh no Eddie

what you sit still you put me off me food the Sun is shown is nothing in these sure to keep riding Rachel me

cr*ck you can end up looking like black pudding kind of a falling into that black on it back in a sec I shouldn't

worry shell I'm sure Loretta sticking called care a jordan course you mothers

always going to worry though I still can't believe she never checked out her Alma Beltre oh what's a boy to check him

out so painful I just mean it's a waste nice also wrong going begging for night

it's not going begging better morning Oh black pudding nice one probably it's

disgusting Jacqueline Kenneth block to the plughole every day with this horrible gloopy hairy mess and I know

one of us to fish it out well it is a half hour I suppose it's an occupational hazard I

don't mean here I mean at home I don't know where it all comes from my Donald was a smoother than a

I don't think a hairy body would restore to them but with his white hair is a lot like

the abdominal snowman seriously Jacqueline I can't leave the mess the clothes the food everywhere I

hate to say it but Kenneth is a disgusting flatmate it's worse than that he's a big fat dirty pink

[Music] lol or should I say oink oink oink

k*ll it okay there was only having a little more Kenner's we all do it pop

you mean you're all known about me when I'm not here no definitely not I would never call you

a big fat dirt kiss me chuckling you didn't have to say it again makes no difference now I finally know

what you think of me Kenny I'm sorry I

made it personal but basically it's true Wow this morning I woke up to find a

takeaway box of chicken bones and empty kind of largo and a halfie and cheesecake i'm matt has got to eat there on the corner of the bar but you know

what like a bear supper when I come in after a nice hour fair enough but why did you eat in the bath how are you I'm

like the bass then what was it doing there I asked your toilet oh I blame the pink

trombone they don't clean the pint that lager goes through me like a 2-man bobsleigh and it doesn't end there

towels on the floor dirty Underpants in the hallway pizza boxes stuff down the side of your bed laughter it's gonna get

messy over time when you live in there 48 hours I'm I start looking for a new

flatmate today and of course you can run back to Daddy I don't want to move out I'm just asking if oh no this big fat

dirty pig is close the farm yard door well by the end of the week so and in

the meantime I suggest you get a peg for that delicate little nosey yours Oh calluses hey Joseph made

enemies pop he does me wrong I'm a lager

please petrol when you've got a second but it does courage for you go back in and give Liam what for how long have you

been here couple of hours want to freshen up first and come upstairs cuts

of a boy yet certainly not your filthy beef come on I think we could do with a Chuck's as well oh there we go

Kenny so you sit on the airport run um no I'm fine thanks now Sam what is he

saying oh nothing at the quarry croquetas at the airport about the room today so charlie okay straight to answerphone

again south 11 watch it playin up don't worry Sharon if it had been a terrific

plane crash k*lling everybody on board it could be all of it News one T what

Hollywood won't take bloody hell er mum that's not a chase just an earful no

idea landed early everything okay don't ring as we are in the studio so now you

read these magazines roleplayer blind date with my husband keeps our marriage door what does that even mean

Barbara work does it just dates or the husband where they don't know each other ah I've always thought seen our dementia

was romantic they pretend to not know each other you know I mean did you read

that about the accent what accents leads watered friendless accents in okay it's

a crap all right equally as fascinating everybody knows a friend least accent in

world is Sheffield south you're early no not according to bedazzle magazine Italy they're trying to say I don't sell

this friendliest a bloody Wesley it's a [ __ ] they can frig off talking

absolute bollocks I think you sounds friendlier than anyone I've ever met ah thanks your cello and the two sexiest

accents are Australian and Irish never mind you readers who writes this rubbish

oh yeah I like both those I remember years ago I had a mad crush on Crocodile Dundee Dundee said bloody horrible

accent I couldn't understand a word when our job there Crocodile Dundee the

blogger fights alligator with a big Kn*fe yeah Paul organ what that wrestling with me yellow cash your fancy

dip big girl's blouse that's a whole Corgan no the old one yellow or green

for crying out loud hear yourselves I've anyone Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

bogan was what is accents turned into that'll be all then look she keeps

reading Langley man without university lot or people with an education there

should be whole drawn and quartered I'll drink to that [Music]

big is Troy I've been meaning to tell you about stop before you go any further

I just want to say I know about your secret Kenneth and I think it's

absolutely wonderful oh really what's it you I never imagined you'd be

ready to take on a responsibility either I think it's amazing I thought you'd be angry because it interfered with the

work of the felons how could I be angry on you so this how'd it happen well I just got chatting goes on bloke

at the airport look in the airport yeah I mean it wasn't planned at all but since the offer the money I thought well why not somebody offered you money yeah

I just said it wasn't my idea I'm literally just doing it for the extra cash but Kenneth what about the

responsibility having a baby is a responsibility oh yeah how's that going

house one going yeah baby oh I think you've got one of them nannies Evan yeah

you say I don't agree it'd be wearing your best curtains and singing doe a deer before you say Captain Von Trapp

I on let's start again I've enrolled over and why have you been texting about

the pitter-patter of tiny feet a new arrivals what would I be doing with the baby what the frig would I be doing with one I got

from Liam yesterday was obviously meant for Jacqueline asking her have shed any idea what to call you new baby

Jacqueline and Liam ones mad and he gave the other one a penny for this thought you get change but what about you

swinging a baby seat round the song oh who told you about the baby seat come on I know someone's been grafted on me it

was only a matter of time before I found out ooh what's this it's a live internet

stream a blow and go you've had CCTV fitted spying on us it's a web cam it

was in the award the one duckling brought over so this is what it's come to

that's why you didn't come straight to the salon this morning you've been in here spying on us oh it's like 1994 May

1984 no I don't 1994 I rented a room Amy last year a college in the gay land law

that a spiral with a picture of the Mona Lisa in front of it knew the eyes were meant to follow you around the room but the heavy breathing gave it away it's

for security reasons Oh rubbish this is obviously the day when I meant to find out who my real friends are well

you can shove your talent you can shove that present I've got bigger fish to fry okay

[Music]

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I'm sorry pal willfully books everywhere is it's the high season even the Spanish

visit Benidorm this week for tell you what you look deadbeat why don't you lot grab a coffee over the

road leave me a number and I'll do a ring room for you see of your legs right

it's just for the one night yeah just one night me bother I'll ring you within the hour

Leslie I couldn't help overhearing that do you want me to ring ah would you make

that I'm absolutely run off with heat queens got a medal for you there there you can keep a medal I'm

strictly cash only oh man I am never drinking again I'm

aching sweating we're heads banging and I've got a mouth like the bottom of a budgies cage you say that but comes

seven or eight o'clock not a chance no way I'm absolutely dying we'll see alright boys your fun last

night yeah alright how did you get in I left you it's 3:20 volunteer well if you

fancy another big one tonight I can sort it for you handle pay form yeah I know why would you mean free

there's a family of six it needs two rooms tonight for the hotel's Hall you've got two rooms where 79 euros each

that makes one hundred and fifty eight euros provided by the three of us that make fifty two point six six six six six

six six seven euros excuse me but you could just call it

fifty two euros and sixty cents for the sake of argument but if you rent out our rooms where do we sleep

you don't you pullin on my earth ah I couldn't not a lot of guys come on

checkouts at 10:00 a.m. I'll boot them out there and you come home and crash I'm basically offering you a free night

out in Benidorm who can say no to that come on bro we're in Benidorm you look

nervous leave so are you in or not we're in physical what's awful nice one

boys I'll be back later with your cut of the money three there how did you do

that the calculation oh no just math in it you think you're

clever but I have my ice beers on you I'm sorry did your speech you walk

around like you're owning the place but it is Jo or will be home oh really

you do not frighten me no you don't look frightened you look terrified I know

you're up to something and I would find what this is you couldn't find your own ass in the dark with both hands

you keep my ass out of this you carry on mopping up spilled drinks Matteo and I'll keep on earning more money on the

side everyday than you do in a week and you'll never know how but I know who

could help me find out Joy's den for Savage

[Music]

I mean good afternoon sir how may I be of assistance

I left my key in my room no Loretta chase obviously that not me the rest is

me wife's name and get the other key offer butchie's at the to the zoo yeah I

didn't go I don't agree with them you know politically I had no idea one of

the giraffes was running for mayor sued us very good here we can have at the key

I'm certainly sir can you confirm your room number remember yes room number the

number of your room oh and on envelope that's not rusted it depends is your

name Catalina dela Cruz no I told your attics Loretta change and

your room number oh that yes for 35

here is your new room key and the spare key for your wife at least inform her

the old key cards are now cancelled great and can i book a bottle of champagne for tonight and sense of the

room around 8 o'clock shall I charge that to your room sir who definitely

which is gracious Loretta muchas gracias

eyes London Nana's room at the belt hollow Sky TV room service cut along I

rob watches Joey was 27 times ninety-three 2511 might who cares what

everyone looks like if you ain't got a girl to take Matt there well I think an hour of the beach bars will sort that

out 982 / sixteen sixty one point three

seven five could be a pleasure to come and watch you fail be far from out o 19

3852 x 246 tiger what are you going on about

it's Choi he's a genius twenty-three million eight seven thousand five hundred ninety-two what mate the only

equation I'm interested in is room for 35 times two hundred and seventy eight

cream knocking dude up no room for 35 times two people me and somebody else

hmm right each bars yes oh you here ma'am

hae-sun obvious archaea Gunda and i'll do i'll Joe

wouldn't which is gracias Rebecca and

then he said something like so obviously they want to find out over friends are Greg Kenneth and I had words today I

called him a big fat dirty Pig right oh you mean he took offense to

that Wow yeah I would but I'm not a big fat dirty Pig thought being flat makes will bring us closer together it's just

driven us apart sh**t Gilley the flatmates well not anymore he's advertising a room on the state we've

got three replies already I love that I think Kenneth thinks you don't trust him

I don't trust him no I mean he thinks you don't trust him at all I don't trust him I saw why'd you think about camera

near I've never been bothered about being on camera Donald and I used to keep our webcam on

24/7 and what was this text forgot that was meant for Jacqueline I'm saying nothing it's kind of still running his

mini cab service I'm not in the habit of recommending unlicensed taxis but

there's a couple out here are desperate to get to polyps question too difficult

for you I thought as much looks line you don't

have to say anything have you been how

did you miss me yeah how to get me drink myself I went for a walk into Benidorm

and what he bought oh never mind about that I bumped into an old flaming or while I was on an old

flame yeah yeah Australian fella called em Bruce I don't

know anyone called Bruce I don't know any Australian series wearing a khaki

shirt shorts of shark-tooth necklace and carrying a five-foot crocodile whatsoever date with you tonight hey hey

hey don't be laughing so ill frit or not what would not have been playing well

you don't know won't hurt him there's to [ __ ] tonight the belt I think we could see I love you

Billie Dalton don't be saying things like that later on ruin a big night there you going it does courage a guy

didn't know I don't understand I was

home bring a mask but Rose not so real

solo I don't watch out I just hear the numbers and I see the answer in my head

leave I never thought I would say this but well you are a genius

yeah it's really come in handy today there's nothing more impressive than telling a girl you know the nineteen

seventies you leave over me this sonic ship will be nearly in a difficulty

how's it going Rob stark terrible looking like a three-room in a five-star

hotel to make you weak desperation another idea why don't is three arrives from a

slumber party popcorn movie maybe a room to have a pizza cuz we're not solve your

guilt that we need I wouldn't say anymore you tiger and I've rented out a room for the night so it's a nice story sorry kid your

laptop your pajama party another night today it's all about the ladies time Oh

scrubber thank you Paul hello there

one down ser something maybe something something scrubber let me look at the

call slow down that many scrubbers send that to me that's a slow down it's

illegible is that a clue yeah oh it's one of them cryptic job

Gini mmm ah stay fine Apsley to one what's got windscreen wipers three pedals in a

bonnet that's right if one little spoon I can't begin with that do you want it I

get is a horrible letter having a master well I am but I will open for an even

better night oh yeah got something planned well I've got folios of a

five-star rule at the belt or or this evening oh so you might be up for it

yeah well it depends I have in mind you know buckle a bubbly on the balcony and

join the panorama with a Mantovani maybe a few nibbles

oh you may like a swallow if you want to call it that oh yeah that sounds love wood it's a

dress code shall we say start off fully clothed and see how the evening goes oh

you silly thing room for three five shall we say 8:00 o'clock room for three five o'clock

listen you want me to pull it in via scrubber well as you say let's see how

the evening goes

look look she's taking money now we're probably for one of the trips even he

trips she is doing out of the bank with all the money she's making well what do you want me to tell voters come with me to miss temple Savage and see what

you've got new evidence man no clue she's taking the money ahsha still not away in your prime but we've

got nothing on her until you find some hard evidence or so I just forget about it for now yes well time for lunch

girls go to II I think maybe you have had enough to eat more cushion for that

person Mateo where would somebody want to put you huh Oh maybe over a cliff to get you some

food dope money okay shouldn't you be

behind - ah yes B tempos have it I'm all right Leslie jump in mrs. temple

some chopping hmm if you get shorted out

yeah all sorts of thing

you

[Music] I'm sorry Roberto if you don't speak

English I'm just not quite clear on how you read my advert for a flatmate see if a great no you don't understand

you see you replied to me on Facebook on Facebook in English now did somebody

help you with that see if suddenly oh oh all right but you do have a basic grasp of English sure

okay suddenly right do you understand

what I am saying now and if you say see flatmate this interview is over see suddenly oh so God's sake right

thank you I'll be in touch I'm your girl yes okay see okay see Oh give me strength Kenneth

We Need to Talk I've just got one last person to b*at me black then I'll be with you I'll be back

I look forward to it

Leslie what do you want again behind the bull bar miss temple savage catchy to me should be having my nuts for garters no

I mean not yes I see them yes they are

all wearing the wristbands well if they are not booked into the hotel mean how they stay here

I knew it Leslie enjoyed you night off

because tomorrow she will be gone when Adam is a survival of the fittest not the factors going on

[Music]

what are you looking so happy about I miss temple savage I have some news some very big news I think you will want

to know come man I'll tell you tonight in Neptune's I just need to check on a

few facts first and how do you keep an idiot in suspense I don't know oh I'll tell you tonight in

Neptune's I'm really sorry to be

completely honest I'm not just looking for a flatmate I'm looking for someone who I'll get on with in a sort of social

way - I'm just getting a vibe from you sorry love no luck with your new

flatmate now I've got a couple of weeks to find somebody so there's no rush I

know about your new mini cab business Kenneth and I am so disappointed how are you disappointed having taken

you anywhere I mean the fact that you're doing that when you're supposed to be working for me Oh Troy it's literally just a couple of

hours a day when the salons dead anyway and we'll be dead and buried if you carry on like this so just jealous because I'm showing some

initiative it's alright for you to be an entrepreneur but not me oh listen to yourself Kevin thank God you never got that baby huh cuz you with

a child would be such a success doing it's mataron where take dumb points new cuts occur all for some point in it

Oh Troy I'm grown up already I'm just a kind of grown-up that you don't like a free-thinking free spirits and follows

his dreams I'm not arguing with you Kenneth Joey dreams give me show me wake up

mom Oh all that sounds brilliant oh you must be

shattered Jordans alright then I'll speak to you tomorrow you want to talk to your dad

alright then I'll tell him yeah okay alright night night night night charming

she says she'll text you she's had a long day so any plans for tonight

oh no no no plans how about you let me

catch a movie in Spanish tummy on yeah I

think I'll just have a night in watching the telly looking very glam to watch dad's army dogged in Spanish Basic

Instinct some later I hope you've got pants on it's a long walk up to the doctoral will you bother us and stop

spoiling it sorry right well say later I

mean won't see you later then I mean to

go you are coming to the belt or ammonia

get out put some knickers on anyway

listen why don't you both come back to my place I've got room

the lower knowledge of Swing Starcraft it's five start Romania green fancy of

five star crap we love to get through the pizza and the cool thing to be with

a mix okay so how you doing wrong I'm

not gonna lie to you Joe I don't bet you get enough look you're a tiger just keep

asking girls think of the hardest math problem they can and introduce them not

working not so far asking why new time sister fun summer

partly a new hotel rod there's no way me and hire gonna be obstacle only night I'm homeless Attila room

[Music] they go boys at my room at the Polana

Sanyal I'm off to the del Toro for a 5-star rock

[Music]

when I start this hello all right are you looking for someone

yeah but I don't think you see it yet is it possible your friend is carrying a meter and a half long inflatable

krokodil very possible the bar on the left when I start this thing up how can

I help you I'm busting that little boy's room I'm sorry I don't think I can't help you don't give me all that I'm

staying here I just don't think I can make it up to Rome in time you don't for what I need to lay a cable drop the kids

off at the pool release the chocolate ostrich come on man these cakes in you on do you need

the restroom ah our estimate on this floor if you don't tell me where it is show around the corner first on two less

thank God

[ __ ] we're talking with it

Bruce hardly recognized Bruce shale are you look a ripper Thanks

it's a its share on us oh yeah of course

Sheryl gonna get you a lager no but I'll have a glass of cava Thanks

what's the Carver a sparkling wine a bit like champagne ah that's not a car that that's a cava to get it you as a car

movie classic car believe you know Bruce

it's been so long such a storage of it I can't actually remember where we first met

oh we had a date at the zoo it was absolutely bonzer is that right yeah yeah saved you from

an escaped croc an escaped crocodile Wow you think other remember that Thanks

yeah and then you got att*cked by a shark a lot a shark

oh is shark that's right in the zoo yeah but I wrestle the little cover to the floor and I just punched him at the fro

yeah you've gone a bit cocky now mm-hmm so foul you married some pretty strong

guy then Billy yeah that's dope fella Millie miss IVA faced like a bucket of smashed crabs

Billy yeah that's the one a few rooms loose in the top paddock you ask me you

mate any chance of another partner pissed I'm driving a dingo shitbox here really what kind of loud what are you

doing come in character what's a fact the most annoying person in the world I

think for you Myra Australian accent I do what accents that meant to be I

messed it all up have a nice Hey oh I knew I shouldn't bother time Ruby should

still fly me it's alright it's just a big pond no no I've ruined it I knew I would so

just go back to the solana no we won't and you know why why because Bruce the annoying loudmouth Australians

has reminded me of something what's up how much I love and something my husband

and I don't need any daft role-playing or silly characters really really kiss

me you'd Rhonda right grab your

crocodile you've pork oh my god I don't

believe it huh Rob Rob Jose you're my

early modern history class Oh Giles are you doing man my mate you know ladies in

bad days ah I think I'm gonna be sick great I've got a room yes please

four three five times to nah mean room for three five come on

I'm beyond a minute I'll see you outside

feel terrible is not bringing a bottle or anything hey if you can afford to say

here he can afford a few bottles of vino are you sure he wasn't just inviting you Jacqueline oh no it was just a party

in fact they called it a soiree oh I wish you told me I wore long and I've

done something with my hair

come on are you joking

yeah we are you doing here me what are y'all doing here I've got a key from

reception so me and Sharon could have a quiet night while erect it was away last one mine's not working well where did

you get yours from Nicky if I rob do that why did rob pound one director let's keep funny I saw him earlier and he now

to find the deer to bring back here and I just saw well I'm 7jg cheese just go

back to the salon a double see you tomorrow I know why should I meet one that misses

everything all right what's she doin here oh you should have said it was fancy

dress the junk shop sold until 9:00 dude with you therefore the path thing you're

gonna have a party not Seles it's not your party I just invited yours so what's the save in the chic so are you

mine you said it was some soiree technically the park excuse me folks

just room for three five I'm trying to get us your man into bed I knew it

since puffy what it's just a soiree no never not at the grandpa

which one of you is loaded at Chase I knew it pops everyone else before I

call the police when it's nothing when I

started get out [Music]

that'll need your sympathy is nothing

you can say your to tell me anything you

know no I don't magic you're gay straight about middle only is like the ball what sickle bisexual are you know

straight not only math is anyway that's what I'm saying oh it doesn't matter by far like girls um okay women lady

señoritas who thinks the lady doth protest too much

shortstop grander you're the one who organized an Archie don't talk rubbish

she got long in this thing don't know who stick you two got all of tonight we unturned oh yeah

one of our ill-dressed it'll preserve a scalp we an inflatable crocodile if that's not kinky at all or what is I was

little stray lien not that you could tell by the accent don't you ever go me as well are you looking at Yale or what

I can't even look at it you build a friend with big - boy if your money pina coladas today he is a friend from uni

ooh Cinnabon it seems really nice Oh God

say you see those 10 o'clock sharp

tomorrow enjoy your evening

I know who you are getting up there was anything I mean about selling rooms we

do not have I do not know how you're making rooms out of pink and but as long

as you're paying how did you take scam money I will not be telling miss temple savage any houses the money Kamala MELAS

can and I go to the temple savage I will do that I will give me one reason why

how does the money form at Camp ecology is already going to Joyce you see I knew

there was something do not get what [Music]

okay flossing excuse me miss tempo savage early to bring new mr. Talman

welcome okay that'd be good about far better things do with ieaving when this

is a mindless ticking cattle I think you are right it is just mindless stuff in

existence a little creasing all the languages and out there container but

keeping your mouth shut in any language you understand Hanson

you think I do understand stem cell very good as you

[Music]

is not going to believe this one the most urban the best part is it was a

sweater oh yeah remember to avoid a relationship what is going on with you

and Katzenberg siding captain Oh Eddie William not me nothing happened between

you and him when you both stayed on yeah he kept he danced to himself it was the perfect gentleman

some perfect --until Anthony all talk in a perfect gentleman came in earlier but

you weren't here I assumed you'd all gone out without me it was you disappeared in a hole get

down of course you can [Music]

we did go out the link to ontology what all again yeah when Greg was it it was

real [ __ ] I think about a lot wrecker [Music]

I'm sorry I cannot do this like a big lefto w*r you better remember darling

I've always lived in a massive ah tonight [Music]

we want to watch that one I think we've established with a friend from school

I dressed I wanted Village People Eddie's a goodness a wind Benidorm the fancy dress capital of Europe you should

know he said the last three days just the child Dube in the Grim Reaper yeah but having a Freddie Mercury carry me to

bed in ten in short and then our that it's probably upstairs now I will shake invited Sheree yeah yeah you know I'm a

supported or should you swoop in on the odd friend is still over there good luck with your second bag of the

cherry whatever

so first of all I want to say sorry for

kicking off is that directed to well give to begin with I was angry about the

things you said to me about me and then I thought well how angry can you be if it's all truth I was frustrated came in

I'm sorry I called your horrible names and you find a new plot name I did find

a new flatmate one for you me one is not

perfect but one who wants to try harder to be a better flatmate had a better friend

ain't no isn't it it's all about yourself yeah doctor wasn't good at

cricket clothes just show you the other day and I only had to go at you cuz I'm worried about it

Liam said that car driving with that truck it is I thought about that just now when it stopped at a plea wha no

when you lot were near that up there look to the old time I was sitting in Suffolk with an illegal passenger in the

back of a car with seatbelts that don't work and a dodgy indicator and know MOT and three Baldy tires and the copper on

his feet waves at me turtle over all Paris what happened when he came into the window which doesn't wind down

properly so I throw up in the car door to speak to him he said I'm arresting you for wedding blonde highlights in guyliner in the built-up area you are

and then it makes it also beyond him also wearing fancy dress there start laughing yeah well that was a lucky

escape wasn't no so I've dumped the car

I come here to a new start when you start with all of you if that's all right [Music]

we Cheers oh is that place my way of where the

conscious [Music]

let's just go a bit no I want kind of quickly sneezed or what to make sure above the bill does not marry talking

stupid just that you had a Mott Street

I'm sorry tonight didn't exactly go to plan so I had some the own thing will be

in from Bruce again anytime soon good Bruce is an absolute pillock his little can't he sh*t on the other

hand oh holy like empties yeah alright I hope

you save the inflatable crocodiles alone

[Music]