[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause]
you
absolutely mrs. Tennessee vas a letter no no this is Leslie I work mainly on
the reception these days oh of five-foot-seven urban board the
certain amount of Feminine Mystique no I'm not
Feminine Mystique what I said was Feminine Mystique never mind yes I'll give it a message Adi lost
something all right Leslie crystal on the phone want to know where temper savages marry sure she's had to go have
a hair done she was booked into porn Corps but Kansas is gone here well again good in that case I can leave these
brochures here on reception without that when you know bag to Amira well you may get away with a battalion hurry up if I
was you that's it
could you look at my phone for me it's wishing itself off oh not really my strong point mrs. temple Savage I've got
very fat fingers which is good for some things but rubbish for technology I keep
missing calls no you've just missed another well mrs. Hennessey vas was just run a joke and he
didn't fare without having my head in video for no wood a legend well what did
she want she wants you to go on a two-day conference in Barcelona where she's supposed to me the speech Oh
escaping this place with a little to day jobs in Barcelona with a Serrano see el
okay I think I could be tempted Leslie will you call crystal for me and sad be
delighted to attend de Bolivar charity
stomping honking trip to Ibiza 50% off thank you what's the meaning of this
they can be half price I know what 50% off means who put me gleeful it's here
as if I have to ask [Music]
oh you have got to be takin a piss pletely wasted morning jackeline why do
you never answer your phone I'm Alicante as you know your flight has been delayed so I'm going to go back to
Benny and I'm going to keep my throne switched on so text me when you know what's happening if you'd like your
mobile in that kitchen drawer again I'll swing for you oh hello hello how much
the fact it's been a dog got 80 euros ready
oh oh excuse me excuse me sorry I think
there's been a mistake when I started cab the Benidorm with eighty euros what I meant don't worry I know that problems include toll road off
tip call it undred yours you like to
follow me sir the difficult life sir yeah the way I see it the more people I
take out the all-inclusive loop the better for you what do you mean by all-inclusive loop people are away on my
trip they're not drinking your alcohol and they're not eating your food reducing your customer just a percentage
ratio Russ lower in your overheads and increasing your profits change your lips
and I don't have a problem with it I don't mind the use of the word stonking I'm not the dinosaur you make out but I
draw the line at bonking I'm sorry I did
thank you just be careful lady I'm
watching you naturally as you can b*mb if you can't
watch one orange juice grass there we are
why do you never drink alcohol don't really agree with me other British people they vomit on each
other be themselves follower do you think alcohol always with them hi tiger
isn't it oh hey mr. d no I'm Joey you want to drink no no no no not for me I'm
Sonny way sir oh yeah go on then just a quick one you twisted meow I will not twisting anything Hey yeah
it's Buffalo lager please so bit of a
mad one last night no what really you know average right right I will say you
handle your rail a lot better than our Rob he's not even up yet hey it's not what it used to drinking like olden days
keen offering that hey I'm not that ancient you cheeky bugger no that that
will baby it out 700 years old look at this thing like that Cheers
so a much Fanny in town I'm sorry Fanny
you know girls in town were than any girls in town yeah loads right well I'll
be off hmm I'll be back for that I won't if you like I add don't bother yourself
[Music]
that's brilliant Kenny thanks so much ah you're more than welcome Diane Cheers
hey good luck with the proposal tonight job dog do you think I'm crazy they're
crushing Michelle says girl the other day no should be thrilled what can you meet now well she got on
here so I'm just gonna try and track her down oh I thought you knew you were coming which you just didn't know about the
proposal no no she ain't go clear Mia do you think I'm crazy don't ya well
there's me you're going down on one knee in front of I'd be thrilled but that's all the story I try listen can I pass my
return cups there now I know I'm right with money and I don't have to get a bus back to the airport how do you know all
right I mean any yeah yeah yeah I can compare my booking for you right now if you want and listen I also own a hair salon in a
hotel in Benton so if you want to swim before your big night just swing by the store on the hotel this afternoon a hair
salon as well as a taxi business my god real-life entrepreneur gonna touch you
only if I can choose where in fact if that girlfriend dedication to the dead you can have me on tap now look here's
what
oh sh**t
are you plane no why are you playing at well I'm having this thing called a holiday how much did you drink last
night well if you hang on a second I'll get me drink diary all right down on the drinks isn't violent do you know of course I
don't what sort of question is that how much did a drink when Ben Adama right here's another question for you who were you
out with last night this is about another chase it might be that we bumped
into another chase and she's a bit well she was not a chase she was wrecked and and flirting with
everyone book no which wasn't she usually is what sounded you all get in I
can run about for just as they well go is that big club in cafe belly don't I
know you left your nun drunky Benidorm at 4:00 in the morning yeah yeah no I
did understand to be honest so you don't know where she ended up what you mean
was she ended up you won first hour
morning are you feeling on my I'm broken absolutely worthless
oh don't worry laugh me a dad's what did you end up doing oh god I can barely
remember at least try just I can't remember all right some last kendama go on ask
it's wrong with you ask you people to remember things maybe the lads of one remember right going back to bed yeah
later listen epsom hey we all make mistake I'm
sorry who you were what you did last
night Oh as I say sort of river blood I remember being a slob but I remember
getting home selective amnesia what it
happens to people who've gone through traumatic events in their lives to w*r veterans people in car crashes kids
being chased by clans a circuit that guided destroyed clans Arthur kid there's nothing more terrifying in a
creepy nine scary makeup loom you know VR I'm sure it was just a battery
stay strong son that's wrong yes they
crackle and park inside return the prices will go tell your mum they're tasty yummy berry the tongue does crummy
honey Kojo path really absolutely brilliantly
for the only reason she didn't get it was a lack of experience like an experience I've just been for the 12
year that bloody Scare School how much more experience do they want experience to in television commercials
which we got down to the last two so that proves cement of it ah that there was somebody better not better just more
experienced have you have been all this time what yeah you look whiter the Sheep
where's our robust everything alright yeah actually texting fine I'm healed up
running out of it Louis this morning it's seven Spanish eggs they don't cook them through hola Amiga rock that
friggin al does she look like well here we all are Emma going on you
were supposed to be here last night Sharon you look fabulous still managing to keep that weight off
just I'm very proud of you hey Loretta do you want to fit down Oh
Billy you're looking tired that you're managing to get enough sleep I'll be
getting more than you leave that it adds it that's it you're looking colorful
what about just a same to you don't bother getting off well I wasn't going to oh look George it doesn't
matter chase get the kid okay when you
come she shuffle so it's all about three weeks ago mum look at those long legs
you're going to grow up looking exactly like he is mad
oh I so much about to pick Jordan to the kids club come on did you want a drink
gin and tonic don't gone mad on the tonic Jordan dad I'm already Sean thanks
Bill you know you do look very tired Loretta you've been saying that to me
for the last 20 years doesn't it ever occur to you that I'm not tired this is just how my favorite
somebody falls out of the wrong side desert this morning I might have got out of the wrong side of bed but at least it
was my bed I got out always been his problem that it can't be this big
I bet extruder a leopard never changes its spots still a dirty sex mad slapper
even at your age we don't all curl up and die after 60 Eddie
some of us continue to enjoy an exciting varied sex life just because the last
time you saw your [ __ ] of them were allowed
[Music]
just another minute or so now Brenda that bleachers quite strong so if it
starts to burn your scalp let me know and I'll give you something to bite on - hey where you be I have been on my first
successful airport room that was ages ago what you mean successful where's Jacqueline I wasn't talking about
Jacqueline she's been believe she went up there bhagava rebo East Midlands I picked up a matter how I can see oh my
god gave me on to your room so I did euros while supposed to sell are you coming up for all knocking yeah exactly
chica get he thought I was a cab it's given me an idea blow and go here in
beauty salon incorporating B and G cabs destroy I'll never agree to it because master if he doesn't know about safe try
salon and he's here are often ten weeks of the year what he doesn't know we'll know tell us apart from the police
cracking down on illegal airport runs you haven't got the time to be running a minicar business we'll talk about it
like that in the meantime according to them smoke signals your client appears to be in distress
what Oh buddy L Oh Brenda come with me
come with me I know how you say a boss
with a big secret oh yes I actually owned this hotel but I
love working here how you say in continental did you know
my don't disguise as a bad man McHale McKay miss temple savage managers
of a solana and my boss how can I help you
what was that all about hmm I have no idea okay I need your help is why I'm
here crystal Hennessy bar I've asked me to go to a conference in Barcelona so I know what you're going to
say to you of course do you want me to write the position of manager while you are away
exactly the thing is what can be ridiculous now I thought you wanted me
to go with her she wants me it's going her place this is not a problem the train to Barcelona
is quick or maybe do you want me to drive you you don't understand she wants me to
give them her speech if you let me have a speech I can give it to them no in
Spanish okay we have a speech in Spanish you say aqui está el discussion it means
here is a speech no you idiot I have to read out a five page speech in Spanish
this is impossible do you do not speak Spanish anyway let's expand if it but what well when I got
this job and it's Alana yes I told them I spoke seventh Spanish and
in five years you have forgotten everything no I like to term I've never spoken
Spanish okay there is a way I could help
you sorry of course okay
go wait for me in the manager's office I will be there in five minutes yes okay told you
same again no so when the brochure says there were no child minders in the hotel it means we don't supply them the fact
your wife's a charm I do it's a problem at all I arrived thank you
uh-huh how's it going yeah good thing can I help you with anything
mmm we're bored to be honest well you have come to the right place if we thought about one of our trips no not
really I think just a chat would do okay well as you know I'm Sam yeah I don't
remember but my name's Joey I do remember well what about a chat about
some of the free trips we have yeah cool I don't go on a trip but I'm really happy to chat about them cool so this is
a free trip to the waterfalls of Algar this is the free trips of water left this is a free trip to the local boring
oh you've got a lot of free trip yeah this one's a little bit more exciting
it's a trip to a bisa a trip to our beef up oh my days I Pisa I can't believe you
go to Ibiza yeah we do trip to a beat-down there is Ibiza it's an island
in between Spain America Wow where's me all calm it's an island that would be
next to Spain if it beat the one in the way cool there's a trip all the details
are on the back of the leaflet next trip's Friday okay so we gotta go on
that can you put me in I'm a tiger down for it no problem I've got my cash box
with me at the moment but we'll sort out the details tonight oh you're of course if you just put both your names in room numbers on this list
that will confirm your places Tigers gonna be so excited I'll be fun did you
want to fill chat about some of the other trip no way man I got top up my phone in it I'll be so
[Applause] well okay I have read all of the speech
and I can say 100% it is definitely in Spanish I know it's in Spanish
I told you it was in Spanish okay so what is it you want me to do I want you to help me learn it okay
Oh first we have a good afternoon men and woman this is my pleasure in
Spanish I've got to read the speech in Spanish in it I mean she put five pages
[Laughter]
this is not a joke my job could be at stake sorry I have an idea why don't we do it
phonetically yes of course I was going to suggest we do it phonetically right
you didn't want phonetically means do you know airport run to Alicante on
Thursday and where's that from I'll be here what time's your flight love let's have a look Liam I am what
can you do me a massive pair Mancala two o'clock on Thursday look in the book
you've got Winnie from camping bilham are in for a Brazilian Blowout well
there's your answer yeah that's all booked in for your love what number color Beethoven mm-hmm all
right we'll see you then bye bye you're getting very peevish you about my new
business adventure Liam hmm I said you're getting very peevish Betty P bish
see this what's that supposed to mean he just can't bear the fact that my ownership in their entrepreneurial kind of done it yes I can ont hang on oMG are
doing illegal airport runs in a clapped-out old bungalow one seat belt no road tax to not make you an entrepreneur it makes you a criminal
wash your mouth out that car is a classic it just needs a bit a money spending on it which I'll be in and do
need airport runs you listen to me Brian quoi lovely
surprise your I love k*lling Oh Liam
quick large brandy hang on do you want a drink Ryan love yes please
- glass Brandy's go on oh there's a
chance he cannot see you now well it's
our Robert is he still not up you had a late night last night I know I was with him well I bumped into him with his neck
hey I go in general where did you bump into them some club in Benidorm you said
you didn't come as the interest not because you got here too late I see it's too late to come and see you but not to where to go out Samson
especially invented or morning afternoon well you finally drugged yourself a tea
a bit then you missed after day that's night love was Rufus Joey and
Tiger didn't game till half six Tigers convinced he took some gropey old bird
on with him but he can't remember morning on a chase how's your head
I don't remember getting any complaints
are you we're not gonna see if your friends all right no I'm not
yeah what good night last night so many bales out early looks to me like it were good job a bailout surely she hath
k*lled Alan please stop you please stop talking about it oh it was a joke what
it was joke a person sleep with your friends don't be ridiculous things me at my age trying orchard there you go your
Nana was joking oh yeah of course that was it fast - something like that
how come money took one more over here if collapse we weren't looking over here
same reasons after people here a flaked out it's boiling up Tony's been out
drinking till the early hours right come on then rob gon get is all another drink
and go and check on your friend on the way over oh I've just sat down just give me five minutes
oh poor love five me so you seem to be
bearing up alright Loretta what time did you get in last night oh I don't worry about things like that bill maybe if you
didn't you wouldn't have so tired all the time
it's Billy I'm sorry my name as you well
know is Billy not William not Bill not well or Willie I was christened Billy
the fact that I looked tired or not is a matter of opinion my name on the other hand is not
you were actually christened Bauer I beg
your pardon like sheeted a big button well when you were born your mama
Georgia now Oteri's me I'm sure now it were my kid now George Bella I was christened Bella
yeah you've waited until now to tell me I was christened Bella
well we changed it about a week after Christian because so many people were taking this oh I wonder why why did you
want to call him Bella Eddie oh my god dad you were brought a girl with your
tongue get the drink lady are and this thing's you've got to be joking it's not even the girl's name it's a
dogsled Bella didn't drama who have a dog call but she did she always look
tired all the time as well the taça me not plan mal do you mind telling me after 40 odd years why on
earth I was christened Bella it would have to bill a lord awesome you
know Count Dracula I've always been a big fan great so not only did you give me a girl's
name you named me after a vampire that's
right yeah all of you take the page hey I said get a drink thing sorry um same
again please look kinda I'm alright thanks son I'll have a little bronze do
you think no problem look fella I log on
audio it's not the way you drive
Oh oh sorry sorry powerful macton sorry that's your fault that eights mad fault
after some other happened 14 years ago shut up just shut up
what is happening here does he need the first eight no no he's fine me he just
went a bit dizzy Hey are you okay yeah yeah I'm fine I just wore a bit of a moment I think I'm
still drunk oh he needs the hairy dog I will bring more beer no no absolutely not you tried
to help someone and they took it up in your face so did you boys get looking at
that oh we may not sniff that your grandma is hilarious I went home about 5:00 and they're close
to dancing the night away which to Tiger and your granny
[Music] she come nice and cool I'll get it show
you what one three [Music]
what's going on hi Levi
109 [Music] I try a ringer but a former switched off
so I looked on Facebook and so one of her friends had checked into the Tiki Beach bar so I went down there which
ones to take e beats but though it's got one ride from non avanthi beats usually filled with a heaving throngs of
shitless tech parties you know I am in Builders manual laborers that sort of
thing I patted emulator work that bars and on your way to work I never said it was I said a packet every day on the way
to work anyway sorry so I get there and I've got the ring in
my pocket over here see lines I'm ready to get down on one knee or don't like the sound of this exclusion unromantic
like me I don't mean I don't like the romance I mean I'm worried about what's coming next and romantic yeah your idea
of romance I'm going to shagging asking in the name on the way out will you listen to me story sorry
so I go up to a friend's and ask where's Megan and they all just stare at me like
the frozen there's an announcement in second place to the mist wet t-shirt
competition Megan and I turn around and I see it would you have married her she
doesn't face I'm not finished yet yeah okay so I turn
round which she's on this little stage in a wet t-shirt it's not gonna blog so
I confront this feller I said what do you think you're doing he says what does they look like [ __ ] that's not nice
said you know that woman is and he said yeah you wife comes at the end to the F
to the G on the little bottle of fun seven a wet t-shirt competition at your wedding
what when their wedding they've been married for years I don't understand now
you've lost me as well when I first start going out with Megan she said she would divorce which didn't
surprise when she was 20 years older than me but she went divorced she separated was separated
she came on with solid in knowing that he would be in Benidorm at same time hang on how long have you and Megan been
going out together two months two months and you follow the rhinology to ask her
to marry you no I know I know I might be young but I guess I'm an old romantic
because she sounds like an old slug by the sound of it Liam she said our fling was a mistake
and she's back with a husband and I'm all alone in Benidorm our friends
nowhere to go rubbish me and Lee Milo castilla and I'm
going to start by making you feel like the young vibrant a gorgeous sexy man that you are God kind of control
yourself the boy is right I've got a cut today if you can oh sorry
right now I am sensing a reversal a a pompadour with high favored sides what
you reckons whatever you think as long as it comes to the Volk room Kok layin to vote cream coke right we'll be back
and the dreams we left behind I'll be glad to have a little gamey with
my life when I loop at all these days I
am ok I'm not upset no you don't look it I'm so lucky to
Frandsen know I often think I know what you mean Kenny Kenny serious we're not sorry for
you to be no no just no sorry
No where did you find so released these days you can get married which me mean
say what you know we've come so far marriage should be for everyone now is
gay marriage sure I'm not gay
[Music]
[Music] [Laughter]
there isn't yet I'm sorry Liam I'm sorry not fended just
not gay right Oh cream coke gin and tonic and a Malibu
rum pineapple with extra challenge and an umbrella [Music]
nice trick I didn't say anything [Music]
can you sing tonight no musk and island with the book come on let's go find CeCe
I need another drum you have an urge alertly she's much better isn't she really do
I had a smashing voice when our Allah unfortunately too many drinks in cities
of pop a stirrer plus all the late night not to mention the early morning game back home it's
been a long time since us on the wharf ashame billith no you just call it walking now don't you oh you just drop
it we would have said it was a jeweled earlier about checking up that you're mad yes just stupid Billy you're like a
broken record a song I beg your pardon
I saw you this morning when I was on my way to see if our robbed was all right I saw you leave that lads room Hagar's
room [Music]
perhaps this will prove Oh what were you doing in that and drop it up a morning paper
[Music] right who's singing tonight
[Music]
nothing about you you know look for it oh don't judge Millay
[Music] me
look at I get you something very large and very strong and he said to drink -
come on up poor woman we assigned euros
this customers get innovate with it especially right in the middle of the zone if you see what I mean I'm all over
al vintage thank you
George mention you look happy did you say nice yes no but if the hundred or is
coming in that will shut him up until his real payment of 150 or comes in leaving me a tidy 50 euros processor is
not what you do is the way that you do it Leslie all right for so any dorm zone
Charlene there we'll hear more from her later but now it's karaoke time let's
hear it for Jodi daughter [Applause]
[Music]
why shall coming that to me no one ever sick again I asked my maid Loretta how
it means my room but she didn't get into my bed you said you remember her face been like
this far away from walls she was [ __ ] mean that's what they used to call it
haha she tucked me in the bed then I was
so drunk before she was my grandma and I said don't leave me gran don't leave me
oh and then she said I won't leave you son don't worry I'm sitting my ear and
then I said cry have you gotten normal exhale and then I
fell asleep she must have done the same in the chair hiya dad all excited about your trip to
Ibiza end it we agree far oh you're as tired I completely forgot to tell you I booked on a free trip to LA me oh my
baby they didn't bake give me excuse me what do you mean free trip to Evita
can't forgotten about you which you just mentioned it I never said it was free I'm here to collect 200 euro deposit
hundred years we ain't got on GTOs but on all inclusive hi hi Timothy
that's about you today do you want to talk about the free trips you had an offer why did you think this trip was free I
gave you the leaflet to read what does that I haven't got my cash box we could sort out the details tonight then gave a
friendly money I mean white chocolate chemical one person be my you ain't
nothing yet this is just a pity Ice Cube oh the pair of you total an absolute
[ __ ] 90 degree lies I don't don't rob informal between the chillner become
like mother she's nine hey what about
money yeah be right back God with men that's
days built on the world are good for has been worth every penny to pay for Jory scrolling only the best for my
granddaughter you can touch to go to face oh yes cachito awesome the fattest man who ever
drew breath I love you more when it comes to my grandchildren money's no object
oh if that reminds me I need to start sourcing payment for Georgie's next school year when I've got the VIN by the
end of order wait see ya next year
another we love these rubbish and funk it's actually 11,400 next year are you
gonna be jacking the place that last has bled me dry as it is I'll be think if
I'm Shelly now a normal loving gamblers a bit about singing and acting duck Eddie you agreed to pay for George's
schooling you think she was going to leave school when she was 10 can we come back later one year one year I have YouTube
therefore at drama school she can sing shower from now on light rest on us what
happens is when it comes to my grandchildren
older friggin house asking you I'm surprised you've come up for air in between sucking the blood of teenage
girl I'll tell you the problem you are at the door no I'll tell you the problem you've
all got if you all don't shut up and start behaving like human beings you'll all be out on your ear do you understand
yes yes I'm talking to all of you yeah
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music] [Applause]
that was really a darling us stick is
we're going to get harmonies like this now be available we drove an early night
Oh me as well I'll feel tomorrow I'm so I'm sorry
Kenny Kelly can I just say something - no kanya out
so sorry for a human that you would love g*ng it's all about something I am gay
please one Pina Colada wait for making his mind off by not true I mean our
suffers from prejudice soo just because I like older women but is just a preference in what I've
been well I think I think I'm going to be sick but me I'm a bucket no no how
about go Kenneth Liam oh thank you so
much for all your darkness of Kenneth Kenny
in fact he's all players of tomorrow morning right oh yeah
thank you thank you so much sunbae right I need a
drink NATO apart chuckling oh my god we forgot
about you don't worry about me I'm there now yeah you look like you've been
thrown from a poster oh no I didn't get the boss I walk walk from our country well when you weren't in the Africa oh
it's such a lovely there and they stopped out for it again across the Lord
it's all protected mayor eight hours Oh Jacqueline I am so sorry
oh don't worry I didn't walk all the way I gotta let some elk impale to tell our
minister from a very much armor are given some feverish trouble so I have I
just bring in this debt for the last 10 to 12 miles
[Music] we forgot Jacqueline me what about you I
would little supposed to get from the air force it recognized what was I supposed to do wait there all day
[Music]
I know are you okay yeah I'm fine thank
you I need to get back to me I'll tell but I'm not feeling too well
where are you saying the belt or oh oh
mama some fish in the cab yeah great thanks I'm I'm Ryan I'm a little fat
come on let's get you you safe with me
I'm sure you don't make a bit attack in your men off well today the half with
more laughs next to join comedian John Bishop as he hosts new the nightly show with tonight's guest cult beat stuff
they rectly and over on ITV be next tonight Gemma has some big news for the group and you
girl amber continues to crawl to stir in you The Only Way Is Essex
[Music]
09x02 - Conference in Barcelona
Watch/Buy Amazon
Series follows holidaymakers who spend a week at the Solana Resort Benidorm, Spain.
Series follows holidaymakers who spend a week at the Solana Resort Benidorm, Spain.