01x07 - The One That Got Away

[bunniefuu]

[whimsical music]

- [Announcer] Letter to Loretta

Starring Loretta Young.

And welcome to Mrs. Young's living room.

I'm your announcer, Bob Wilson,

and I'm very proud to
present the star of our show,

Loretta Young!

- Our letter tonight intrigued me

because it has to do
with one of those small

thoughtless acts that all of us are

all too often guilty of,

and yet, as small as it is,

it could cause such havoc.

Helena White dealt it on herself.

She writes, "Dear Loretta,
why can't we women"

"let sleeping dogs lie?"

"Is it our pride, or is
it our sense of intrigue?"

"Or is it that we just want
our husbands to acknowledge"

"twenty four hours a day,
what a prize they got"

"when they married us?"

"I don't know the answer, but maybe you"

"or someone in your audience might."

"If I tell you what happened to me."

"I was all unexpected in my motive,"

"when one night, I cut a
clipping out of the paper."

"Before my husband sat down to enjoy it,"

"as he does every night after dinner."

- Helen!

Helen!

Helen, where are you?

- I'll be right in dear.

Well, how are you doing Grandpa?

- Won 12,000 so far this week.

- Good!

Did you call me Stan?

- Do me a favor baby.

Wait until after I
finish reading the paper

before you start cutting out recipes, huh?

- It wasn't a recipe.

It was a story about
someone I used to date.

A man.

- Well that figures.

But why did you have to cut it out?

- Well, for my memory book!

- Memory book?

- Well, sure, you know.

Old dance programs, dead
flowers, memory stuff.

As a matter of fact,

now I don't want this to upset you dear,

but I could've married him.

Of course I didn't.

Grandpa?

You listen to the morning news.

Did you ever hear of a
newscaster called Jerry Worth?

- You don't say?

- Oh, I've heard worth a few times.

Why?

- Oh, he's the one I'm talking about Stan.

The story in the paper.

The man I used to know.

- So?

- So, he's only the hottest thing

in broadcasting today, that's all.

And he has won every single
magazine and newspaper

popularity poll this year!

And women!

[sighs]

They're just mad about him.

- Who's this you're talking about Helen?

- Oh, this radio newscaster, Jerry Worth.

- Now, now, that's nice.

- Yeah!

He's an old friend of mine Gramp.

I was just telling Stan
here I could've married him.

- Well, you did, didn't you?

- Oh, no.

I could've married Jerry.

Instead of Stan.

- Well I hate to quit
when I'm ahead of myself,

but it's time for me to hit the hay.

- Here, I'll help you.

- Thank you.

- Sleep tight.

- I am too.

Goodnight Stan.

- Goodnight Grandpa.

- Any chance you taking
me fishing this week?

- Yeah, I think so.

- Well now, that's more like it.

- Goodnight Cordeilla.

- Goodnight dear.

- Sometimes I think the
old man is getting senile.

Did you notice he called you Cordeilla?

[laughing]

- Senile like a fox.

I've taken special notice
of that Cordeilla business.

He calls me my mothers name,
only when he's pleased with me.

All the rest of the time,

he knows my name all right.

- He's a great old man.

- Yeah.

And he's the happiest,
spoildest character in town,

that's what he is.

- Spoiling evens out.

Six months of it here, then
six months with your sister.

- Stan.

- Now don't get on your high horse,

I'm not criticizing Margaret,

she's a swell girl.

But she's admitted herself that Grandpa

is a great responsibility to her.

- I know.

- That's why I'd give you odds the old man

would rather stay with us all the time,

instead of bouncing around like a baseball

from Tinker to Evers to Chance.

[laughing]

- You're dazing yourself darling.

- I'm simply quoting your grandfather.

- Yeah.

Say, look at that.

He's been using half of our Kanasda deck.

So how about it?

Like to take a b*ating?

- Yeah, I guess we don't play all night.

- We'll only play one game.

Tray over there, will you dear?

There we are.

[humming]

- You'll regret this.

- No, I won't.

You say that every night.

- Oh, that's better.

Final score is 6,500 to 3,000.

Looks like I'll have to give
you a handicap this game baby.

- No, you don't.

- Helen.

Why don't we ask him to
stay here permanently?

- Who?

- Grandpa.

There's no reason he has to go
back to Margaret's is there?

[grunting]

- Then it's all settled.

- Oh, that's sweet of you Stan.

- I like that old boy.

[laughing]

Your play.

- No, it's yours, I dealt.

And I'm warning you.

If you get four more red
trays, I'm gonna blow my tap.

- Stop grousing.

You lose in cards, so
you're lucky in love.

- That reminds me.

That clipping of Jerry.

- Oh, great.

- You know, I was going
to show it to you dear.

I forgot all about it.

It's in my desk, I'll get it.

- Relax, sweetheart.

Play your cards.

I'll take your word for it.

- That's not the point Stan.

- Okay, what is the point?

- Well, honestly I don't understand you.

Here Jerry is, becomes a national figure,

almost overnight.

And I used to know him.

- But I didn't.

- Well, you don't have to
know him to be interested

in someone I almost marry.

- That's a good question.

And the answer is, yes.

- This seems to strike you as a big joke.

And that's a very strange
reaction for you to have

it seems to me.

- Well, what do you want me to do?

k*ll myself?

- I'm going upstairs and read.

- I thought you want to play Kanasda.

- Well, one game is enough. You coming up?

- If we're not going to play
cards I'll finish my paper.

- All right.

Good night Stan.

- Good night.

[whimsical music]

[dishes clinking]

Extra good coffee this morning Helen.

Don't you think so Grandpa?

- Seems to me like it's extra noisy.

- Well this is the television age Grandpa.

Even the Donuts are wired for sound.

- Television.

We ought to get one.

- Yeah, I've been thinking about that.

Then we can watch the
football games and the fights.

- And news casts.

- Well, I got to run.

Excuse me.

- Yeah.

- Clip anything you want to
dear, I'm through with it.

- There will be no
cutting up of that paper

until I'm through with it.

- All right Grandpa.

- I need it to wrap my fish in.

- I'll keep it for you.

- Do you think it'll ever catch on?

The fragrance of perch
in your memory book?

[Narrator] Suddenly I was mad.

I might've married another man,

I might have never even known Stan.

And he acts as though he didn't care.

And finally, he blew his top.

[intense music]

- Grandpa.

Put your curler down for a minute.

There.

- Shucks, there ain't no call to be

careful of this shirt Helen.

These are my fishing tops.

- I know.

- Now aint you taking me down
to the pier this morning?

- Oh sure!

Just as soon as I get these
breakfast things cleared up.

- You're looking mighty
pretty this morning.

Cordeilla.

- Oh, you.

- It's been been a sight a day since

I've seen you not jawing at Stan.

You two all through fighting now?

- We weren't fighting Grandpa.

Stan's upset me that's all.

I just don't understand his
attitude about Jerry Worth.

- Kinda silly arguing about somebody

you don't even know, seems like.

- But I know Jerry very well.

Good heavens, no trouble.

Stan's just furious because I
could've married a famous man.

Yeah.

Anyways, ridiculous to go
on talking about it anymore.

I'm tired of this bickering.

You know what I'm going to do?

I'm just going to tell Stan
to forget the whole thing,

to forget I ever even
mentioned Jerry Worth.

[laughing]

Good morning Stan.

- Morning.

Morning Grandpa.

- Morning Stan.

Fine day for fishing, wouldn't you say?

- Yeah, fine.

- What is it?

Stanley, at least you could
answer a simple question.

Let me see.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

- [Sally] Hey Helen, it's Sally.

- Oh!

- [Sally] Seen the morning paper?

- No, not yet, why?

- [Sally] Well take this sitting down,

because this is going to floor you.

Your boyfriend is
plastered all over page 1.

- Sally I'll call you back.

- [Sally] There's a
picture of him too Helen.

You were sure right about the charm.

The boy is loaded.

And listen to this fabulous article.

Oh, wait a sec, dropped
the paper, hold on.

- First time in my life I wished
a man would be struck deaf.

- [Sally] Listen to this Helen.

A committee of prominent
city and state officials,

headed by Mayor Turner.

- Stan, I've been thinking over what

you asked me the other day.

About me staying here and
living with you and Helen.

[shushing]

And you know something,
I'm going to do it.

I figure I could take
over the garden chores,

and keep you in fish.

- I'm glad, I'm glad but later.

- Well, you seen it.

I done my best.

- [Sally] During his
brief stay in the city,

Mr. Worth will be the guest
of the hotel of the land,

occupying the famous suite 25A.

Hello?

Hello Helen?

Helen?

- Yes?

- [Sally] Well say something.

[groaning]

- [Sally] Oh I get it.

Stan's there and you can't talk.

Oh gee, I'm sorry sweetie.

You should've given me
some kind of hide sign.

Look, I'll call you later.

Bye.

- Bye.

- Well that's just great.

Have you told everyone
in town that you could've

married Jerry Worth?

- Now Stanley.

- I asked you a question.

I want to know if I'm the
laughing stock of the entire city.

- I'm not going to talk to you.

Until you stop acting childish.

- Childish?

- Yes.

You deliberately hid
that article about Jerry,

do you call that being an adult?

- There's your article.

Go ahead, read it.

Memorize it.

Frame it for all I care.

And when you call Sally
to repeat this to her,

you can quote me as
saying I'm beginning to

wish you had married Jerry Worth.

- Stanley!

On you, my bag does not look good.

[intense music]

- You simmering down some?

Getting over your mad at Stan.

- The way he acted.

Think I committed a major crime

because I told Sally about Jerry Worth.

And you know it's perfectly
normal for a woman

to be proud that famous man loved her.

And it'd be just as normal

if I went down to the hotel to see Jerry.

You know, the more I think of it,

the more convinced I am that

it's the proper thing to do.

It'd be kind of rude of me
if I didn't, don't you think?

- Up to now, I've been keeping my nose in

my own side of the trough,

but so help me Hannah,

if I catch you going
down to that there hotel.

- You're not going to catch me grandpa.

- That's more like it.

- Well, I'm off to market.

[exciting music]

Hi Grandpa.

Sorry I'm late.

Were you worried?

- I've been too excited to worry.

- Oh, you had a good day huh?

Oh, I'd say you did.

- You think that's good,
you oughta been here


- Why, what happened?

- I hooked one about so long.

- You did?

- Never seen a fish fight harder.

He was slapping the water, mad as sin.

I got a good look at him,
fresh in the way he came.

Shiny brown scales, with flecks
of ride glistening through.

Of course, I know there
aint no trout here.

But if that wasn't a german
brown, I'll eat my shirt.

- I'm sorry you lost him Gramps.

- We used to catch
german browns back home.

Called them the fish
that wears tweed suits.

Brown and red.

Tweed suits.

You get it?

- Yeah, yeah, I get it.

- 10, 12 pounds I say.

- Oh Gramps, make that
ounces and I'll buy it.

- Not them, the one that got away.

And I came within that of him.

That feller could fight.

Like I said, he was about so long.

[laughing]

[clearing throat]

- Come on Grandpa, don't forget your box.

[whimsical music]

- What's Stan doing in the den?

- Checking the banks statements he said.

But he's still mad from this morning.

Couldn't you tell at dinner time?

- Can't say that I did.

He seemed right interested
about my German Brown.

Why don't you call him to come in here?

- He'll come in when he's ready.

How you like my new hat?

- Looks like a big flower garden.

Sure don't look like no hat.

- Oh Gramps.

It was supposed to be a surprise.

Or aren't we speaking?

- We're speaking.

- Oh. Well how do you like it?

- I suppose we could always
live in it if we lose the house.

- Stan, I'm willing to forget
about this morning if you are.

We shouldn't be quarreling
about Jerry Worth.

After all, I hadn't even
met you when Jerry proposed.

- Yessir Stan.

Just like I told you.

Never heard of one in
these waters in my life.

But I'm a monkey's uncle if that

fish didn't look like a
german brown and it got away.

- Grandpa, that's not polite.

I was talking.

And you deliberately changed the subject.

- I never done nothing of the kind.

- Yeah.

Yes.

Yes ma'am, I'll give Mr.
Worth your message, thank you.

Women, nothing but women
crowding in here all afternoon.

You don't want a lock of his hair do you?

- All I want is a few
moments of Mr. Worth's time.

- [Woman] Have you got an appointment?

- I have no appointment.

He'll see me.

- Oh, you dreamer.

Look mister.

No one gets to see him.

This place is a madhouse.

Women streaming in and out,

the telephone ringing every five minutes.

[phone ringing]

There I go, opening up my big mouth again.

Goodbye, huh?

No, no, just press it, that's all.

Yeah, he'll be back at five.

Bye.

[mysterious music]

- Jerry!

Oh, Jerry.

- Well.

- Oh, Jerry.

- How nice to see you again.

- It's been so long.

- Indeed it has.

- Yes.

- Yes it certainly has.

- Last time we saw each other, Oh Jerry,

you were so unhappy.

Remember?

- Oh, how could I possibly forget?

[laughing]

- I was wearing that green dress.

- Oh, uh, green.

I'm living on a time schedule this trip.

Forgive me for running off like this.

It was great to see you again.

Say hello to everybody for me, won't you?

Goodbye.

[sad music]

[grunting]

- You put a red queen on a red king.

You get too technical about it,

you take all of the fun out of the game.

- Here Grandpa, you
didn't drink it at dinner.

So, you can drink it now.

You're going to be a permanent
member of this family

and I'm going to take good care of you.

Anything I can get you while I'm up?

- You ought'nt serve this
stuff without a chaser.

- Is anything wrong?

- That dress you're wearing, is it new?

- Yeah.

- That's funny, I could
swear I've seen it before.

- Oh.

- It's unusual for you to wear a new dress

when we're not going out.

- Well I had it on this afternoon.

Didn't have time to
change it when I got home.

- Oh, where were you today?

- What is it, the third degree?

- Just interested.

- Oh.

Well I went and had my nails done,

see them, they look nice.

Then I did some shopping.

Why?

- I thought you would've
have gone to that luncheon

for your friend.

The one for the foreign
correspondence gave one today.

- Now, why would they
invite me for heavens sake?

I'm not in the newspaper business.

- But your friend Jerry is.

- I haven't even heard from Jerry.

- You know, if you're such good friends,

I wonder why he hasn't tried to reach you.

- You're implying that
I have been lying about

Jerry, and that's not true.

For your information,
everything that I said is true.

And even more so.

Why, Jerry asked me to marry
him at least a dozen times,

and if you don't believe it,

you can ask any of the girls
that I used to know back home.

- You know, come to think of it,

that fish could've
weighed as much 20 pounds.

- Grandpa!

- Well it could.

If it's a german brown like I think,

I was reading up on it today.

And it said where a
feller caught one once,

weighed 39 and a half pounds.

- Oh, Grandpa.

How much longer are we
going to have to hear about

the one that got away.

- That's just what I been wondering.

[thoughtful music]

- Would you mind repeating
what you just said?

- I ain't repeating nothing.

That's what the trouble's around here.

Repeating.

Too drad much of it.

It's downright monotonous.

- Monotonous?

How long did you plan
to keep this up Grandpa?

- I don't know what you're talking about.

Cordeilla.

- You know exactly what I'm talking about.

You lovable old fraud you.

Aw.

Stanley, remember me?

- Vaguely.

- Couple of years ago,
I could've married you.

And come to think of
you, I did didn't I hon?

Oh, Stanley, come here.

There's just something I got to tell you.

Stan.

I went to the hotel valet today.

- I know it.

- You know it?

- I saw you there.

- You mean you saw me
in the hall with Jerry?

- I sure did.

- Oh Stan.

Oh, wasn't it awful?

- Sweetheart it wasn't that bad.

- Oh it was.

- That was a phony brush
off, if I ever saw one.

He must have been real gone on you

to hold a grudge like that.

It just goes to show you that even

a big man can have a small mind.

See that you remember that.

- Oh Stanley.

You're just wonderful.

- Oh, come on.

- How could you love such an idiot?

- It's easy.

It's not a bit hard once
I made up my mind to it.

- Aw.

- It's just like I always said.

It's the one you catch that
makes the best chowder,

every time.

Good night sugar.

- I've often wondered too.

Why women do things like that?

I got my first joke when I was about 15.

I was crazy about a boy who
lived down the street from us,

and at the time, I was proudly
wearing his class ring.

Well, one evening while we
were sitting on my front porch,

to stir up a little excitement, I guess.

I decided to tell him that

I didn't want to wear his ring anymore.

And then he'd plead with me.

And, finally after many sweet
words of persuasion from him,

I agreed to make him happy again but

continuing to wear his ring.

So, full of confidence, I said,

"Arthur, I don't want to
wear your ring anymore."

And while I waited for
the pleading to begin,

he was taking a long look at me.

And finally he said, "All right."

And he took the ring and he
walked off the front porch

and I've never seen him since.

[laughing]

I've never forgotten that young boy.

Because I learned a very
important lesson through him.

Don't drum up dramatic
situations for yourself.

Life is full enough of real ones

which you'll have to cope.

Save your strength for them.

At least I think that's what I've learned.

Perhaps the real answer to
this should come from the man.

Now how about Socrates?

After all, he's been dead so many years,

we couldn't possibly argue with him.

And Socrates said, "Women."

[laughing]

Good night.

[exciting music]