01x33 - Oh, My Aching Heart

[bunniefuu]

[waves crashing]

Teletype, no Calculus,no Advanced trigonometry?

Oh, no! Only one foreign language.

What in the world happenedto education these days?

Sorry, it's not we're looking for.

Next young lady, please.

[music]

Well, this is alittle bit more like it.

Stereotype, dictation, words a minute,

calculus, advancedchemistry, qualitative,

oh! double entry book keeping, too.

This is more….

I also speakFrench and Spanish.

And I'm also willing to work hours a week if so required of me.

[laughs]

There's a chair. Won'tyou sit down, please?

Oh, thank you,Mr. Holmes. I'd love to.

Right. Now, let'ssee, your name is uh,

Patrick, Miss Nora Patrick.

Miss Patrick. [clears throat]

Miss Patrick, well, your backgroundcapabilities are excellent.

Just perfect.

It's very nice ofyou to say so, sir.

As a matter of fact,they're, uh, a bit too perfect.

I beg your pardon?

Miss Patrick, the positionwe have open here is

a secretary to Mr. BarryKendall, our president.

Yes, Sir.

Now, Mr. Kendall isa serious young man.

Yes, Sir.

Absolutely dedicatedto this business.

So much so that certainpeople around here

are inclined to lookupon him as, uh,

something of a square.

I'm sorry, I, I just don'tget the connection.

Well, uh, our squareand your curves.

Oh, I see.

You want someone who looks likethese other ladies I saw in here.

Oh, orders Ms. Patrick,orders from in there.

Aw, oh, Mr. Kendall's that type.

Any lady under who takes jobis doing it to get a husband, right?

Under .

Well, I think I knowwhat Mr. Kendall wants,

and I think I can help you.

If you would allow me tocome back here say, uh,

tomorrow morning at ten?

[Holmes smirk]

It's a deal.

Oh well, thank you.Thank you, Mr. Holmes.

[music]

Sorry, young lady, nointerview was given before lunch.

But Mr. Holmes,

we had an appointmentat o’ clock this morning.

Mr. Holmes!

Oh, No! it can't be!

So in a nutshell, this business isboth my vocation and my avocation.

You might say my wife,as well as my sweetheart.

Oh! How does yourwife feel about that?

My wife?

Your sweetheart.

Oh, no, Miss Patrick, I'mafraid you don't understand.

I have no wife, Ihave no sweetheart.

What I do have is a plan.

And by the time I'm ,I should be able to retire.

Then if I haven't fallen apart,

there'll be plenty oftime to choose a wife.

Oh please, Mr. Kendall,

you don't have to explainyour personal plans to me.

You're a busy man andI am a business woman.

Either you're satisfied to try meas your secretary or you're not.

That is the question, isn't it?

It certainly is. Thankyou very much.

The way things are piled uparound here, I am behind in my work.

Holmes. Miss Patrickwill start as of tomorrow.

-Mr. Kendall.-Yes?

If you are behind in yourplan or your work, that is,

why not get started now?

As you say, why not?

Holmes, she'll start as of now.

[music]

Very well, Miss Patrick.

Thank you, sir.

My fingers are tiredafter signing them,

I can imagine how you mustfeel having typed them all.

I'm fine, Mr. Kendall.It's all in a day's work.

You know, we still had the finalbid on the Easter Bunny to check.

Oh, yes, the Easter bunny.

[bunny popping sound]

That is my finestI think, don't you?

Oh yes, yes, indeed sir, I do.

Miss Patrick, you must be tired.

No, sir, I'm not.

But you've worked every nightbut two for the last five weeks.

Well, you pay verywell. I'm not complaining.

Please don't argue.

No, sir.

Now, I still have to make thefinal figure check myself so….

after you've mailed all those,

on your way andget a little relaxation.

Oh really, Mr. Kendall, I'mno more tired than you are.

Well, that hasnothing to do with it.

I beg your pardon?

After all, I am youngenough to take it.

[music]

Hello, Bill. Barry Kendall.

Glad I caught you in.

Just checking the cost sheetson that Easter Bunny bid.

Where did you get a price of¢ on that poly after all?

Believe me, BK. You said¢ in your memo.

I'll tell you what,

you hold tight Bill, I'llcall Miss Patrick at home.

Maybe she can tellme where I can find it.

Get back to you in five minutes.

Okay.

[Ends the call]

Hello, Marge? Nora here.

Oh, Nora! Hi!

I almost calledyou at work today,

but then you know thetrouble that can cause.

By the way, how is in your job?

And your new boss?

[call busy tone]

Who he really is?

He's got something?

'Cause I can't quitedecide yet what it is he's got,

but whateverit is, he's got it.

What did you sayhis business was?

Plastic toys, you know?

Oh, yeah.

Bill, I'm sorry to hold you offbut Miss Patrick's phone is busy.

Even had the chief operator check.

However, heremployment records show

she only lives ten ortwelve blocks from here.

So it'll be just as quick if I goover to her place and ask her.

Take your time, chief.

I got all night.

[music] [door bell buzz]

Oh, I'm sorry, darling.Someone's at the door.

How about lunch on Wednesday?

Oh, that's good. then. Goodbye. [ends the call]

-Yes?-Miss Patrick, I'm...

Oh.

Oh, I'm, uh, sorry tobarge in like this.

Would you tell Miss Patrick thatMr. Kendall would like to see her?

Oh.

Well, which MissPatrick did you want?

Which?

Well, I didn't knowthere was more than one.

Uh, Nora Patrick.

Oh, Nora! My oldest sister.

Well, I didn't know shehad a sister. [Nora laughs]

She certainly has.

Uh, I'm visitingher for a while.

I'm, uh, Lorraine.

Uh, Mr. Kendall, uh, Nora isgoing to be so embarrassed

because she's goingout for the evening. [laughs]

Um, Won't you come in?

Thank you.

Uh, Miss Patrick isout for the evening?

Oh yes, she is. PoorNora, she works so hard.

She deserves a littlerelaxation. [both laughs]

Won't you sit down?

-Thank you.-Good.

Uh, she went up to hear alecture at Howgan college.

-Oh.-Or someplace like that.

The lecture is on thetheory of empiric symbolism

in modern business practice.

I think she said.

Well, you might knowshe'd relax that way.

Uh.

Tell me, did you reallysay that you're her sister?

Yes, I did.

Well, I'm certainly delightedto meet you, Lorraine.

Oh. [nervous laugh] And I'mdelighted to meet you, Mr. Kendall.

Oh, by the way, Nora justtalks and talks about you.

[nervous laugh] Your little oldear should be red all the time.

[Kendall laughs] Yoursister is a remarkable girl.

Uh, a woman. Lorrainebusiness from the word go.

Oh yes. Yes, she is.

What time did you sayshe was getting home?

Oh, not for hours and hours yet.

Now you see, there's anopen forum after the lecture.

A question and answer period.

Well, that's what she said.

Ah, would you like some coffee?

Oh, No, thanks. Ihaven't got time for it.

She would go to somethinglike that tonight of all nights.

Well, is there somethingI can do to help?

Well, it's very nice of youto offer, but I'm afraid not.

You see, there's somesisters that your pap..., uh,

papers that your sister has filed,and I can't find them anywhere.

Oh, I see.

Well, uh, maybe if I wentdown to your office with you,

I just could find them.

Well, are you sureyou wouldn't mind?

Oh, not at all. I'd be delighted.

Oh well, [laughs]what have I got to lose?

[music]

Could this be whatyou're looking for?

Oh, Lorraine, you're wonderful.

Oh, it's nothing. It'sjust nothing at all.

Uh, I just remembered, Ihaven't had a thing to eat yet.

-Oh?-After I check this out though,

would you like to joinme for a little something?

Well, you are the mostgallant, thoughtful man.

I'd be delighted.

Wonderful.

[music]

Oh, good morning, Miss Patrick.

Good morning Mr. Kendall.

Please sit down.

Thank you, I'm already down.

[sighs] That was, uh,

stupid of me not to know wherethat memo was filed last night.

But it was certainlynice of your sister to help,

wasn't it?

Mr. Kendall, Lorraine isa very nice young lady.

Oh, I found that out last night.

Yes, and to show my appreciation,

I thought I'd liketo invite her out

to dinner tonightand to a show, too.

Uh, you join us if you like.

Well, I'm sure Lorraine would haveliked nothing better, Mr. Kendall.

Uh, however, after keeping me awakeuntil after o’ clock this morning,

ranting and ravingabout what an intelligent,

charming, handsomeman I work for,

I decidedthat since you and I agreed that

business mixes withnothing but business.

I put Lorraine onthe train this morning

and sent her back to Atlanta.

[music]

Awaiting your early,

Yes, sir. I have it.

Awaiting your early reply.

Oh, you know the usualthing, Miss Patrick, you finish it.

Very well.

Oh, did your sister getback to Atlanta all right?

Oh, yes. Fine. Fine.

Uh, say, is that out of townmeeting with the Southern States

retail chain set up forthe end of the week?

Uh, yes, sir, it is. Mr. Holmesis going to fly down there for it.

Well, tell Holmes to skip it.

May I ask why?

Well, that business is muchtoo important to risk losing.

I want you to call the airport

and reserve me a spaceon that afternoon plane.

Uh, I've just decided togo down to Atlanta myself.

[cow's mooing sound]

That will be all for now.

Oh, yes.

Um, since I'mgoing to be in Atlanta,

uh, if you'll give meyour family's address,

I might be able to drop by andgive them a little word on you.

Uh, that's very kindof you, Mr. Kendall.

Too bad you'll missseeing Lorraine.

What? What did you say?

She's arriving back hereagain tomorrow to visit me.

Well, but, but shejust got back there.

Isn't it wonderful the wayshe just loves to travel?

Miss Patrick

- Yes, sir?- Come here.

Yes, sir.

I just got a much better idea.

Since you know as muchabout this deal as I do,

and since Atlanta is your hometown,

I'm going to let you take that trip.

But, Mr. Kendall, I can't.

Miss Patrick, this is business

and I'm afraid you'rejust going to have to.

Bu... but I can't.

With Lorrainearriving here tomorrow.

I'll, I'll keep aneye out for Lorraine.

And, uh, this willgive you a few days

back home whichyou're certainly entitled to.

Now better reserve thatplane space for yourself.

But I don't fly.

I guess I'm too old fashioned.

Why don't you go yourself?

Nonsense. Nonsense. Afterthe way you've been working,

it'll give you a chance to relax.

If you take the train,there'll be plenty of time.

But Mr. Kendall, you wouldn'twant my poor little sister to arrive

in here in New York and find megoing to Atlanta, now, would you?

But why not?

Since you're goingout of town for me,

I'll keep an eye out for Lorraine.

All you have to dois leave your key

and I'll meet her train andexplain the whole thing.

Am I to understand that is an order?

You understand correctly,Miss Patrick, it is an order.

Now on your way andhave a wonderful trip.

And don't forget to leaveyour key at the office.

[cow mooing] [music]

There we are.

Well, Thank you.

Oh, here I am again.

Oh, just put that right over there.

Honestly Mr. Kendall, I neverheard of anyone being so sweet.

Taking all this time out of yourbusy day, just to pick up me.

Well after all, your sisterasked me to keep an eye on you.

And since she's out oftown on company business,

why, why don't you havedinner with me tonight?

How'd you like that, huh?

Oh, I'd just love to.

Uh, but, but not out someplace.

You see, I want to reciprocateto you for being so nice to me,

I want to cook dinner for you.

Right here in Nora'slittle old apartment.

Well that'd be wonderful.We can go out tomorrow night

I imagine you are tiredafter that long train trip.

Oh, you are the mostunderstanding man.

You make me forget Ihave other things to do.

Now I, I'll see you about, uh, .

Oh, would befine. And remember,

don't bother about me.

No, No, I won't.

[music]

Intercontinental Airlines.

Uh, uh, this isNora Patrick again.

Have you got me anythingat all to Atlanta tonight?

Not yet Miss Patrick,but we're still trying.

We'll call you the minutewe get a cancellation.

Oh yes, please do.

You have no idea how important it is

With all the business we get fromColumbia and plastics, Miss Patrick,

believe me, we'll do everythingpossible for you and your company.

[laughs] Look, if I don't getthat seat on that o’clock plane,

it won't be my company,

if you know what I mean, huh?

Don't worry, you'llbe hearing from us.

-Goodbye.-Yeah, goodbye.

[ends the call] [music]

Open.

Intercontinental Airlines.

[doorbell rings]

- Good evening.- Oh, Good evening.

Come on in.

I brought you a little surprise.

Oh you did? I just love surprises.

Newest addition to our lives.

So what is it?

The Easter Bunny.

Oh.

[laughs] Oh, that'sa lovely surprise.

Oh, You really are amost thoughtful man.

And, uh, one of the mostattractive too I might add.

Uh, let me take your coat.

Aw, isn't he a darling? Oh,you sweet little old thing here.

Lorraine.

Yes Barry?

That was a wonderful dinner.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, my hand.

Do you have any ideahow wonderful you are?

Oh you're sweet. Oh, Barry, Oh!

Oh.

- Barry this is wrong.- Why?

Well, I mean, itmight be confusing

with Nora beingyour secretary and all.

Oh, hell Nora.

I mean, she's a, she’s afine upstanding woman

and a reallyremarkable secretary.

-Yes, she is.-But now that has

nothing to do with theway I feel about you.

But I, uh, wait a minute.

I think I better getsome more coffee.

I won't be a minute.

- No Lorraine.-I won't be long.

Oh, I almost forgot. I've got abusiness call to make before nine,

mind if I use your phone?

No, go right ahead.

[Telephone rings]

Miss Patrick, please, thisis Intercontinental Airlines.

Uh, no, I'm sorry, Miss Patrickcan't come to the phone right now.

Is there a messagethat I could take?

Yes. Would you please tell her

that we got her a seat onthe midnight plane to Atlanta

and she can pick upthe ticket at the airport

under thename of Miss Nora Patrick.

Oh, you mean Lorraine Patrick.

No, Miss Nora Patrick.

But Nora Patrick is out of town.

No, you don't understand.She's trying to get out of town.

It's all right. She worksfor a plastics company,

and she has to get to Atlanta.

You can tell her not toworry about losing her job.

She'll be there in the morning.

Thank you.

Did you talk to your man, Barry?

No, I didn't. But I did talk tothe Intercontinental Airlines

and I have a messagefor Miss Nora Patrick.

Oh, have the IntercontinentalAirlines called here?

Yes, they did.

They are delighted to inform you

that they have a seat for youon the midnight plane to Atlanta.

They are even more delighted

that now you won't lose yourjob with that plastics company.

Oh, I see.

But now I have lostmy job, haven’t I?

That's beside the point, Iwant you to tell me one thing.

- Yes, sir.- Why did you ever do this to me?

Well, you see,Mr. Holmes said that you….

Never mind, nevermind. I'll tell you why.

You’ve earned your way in here justso you could get your hooks into me.

Get my hooks into you?

That's what I said, your hooks.

You just listen tome now for a minute.

If I ever did get my hooksinto you, I'd throw you right back

before the game warden gotme for hooking an immature,

sophomoric, infantile specimen

with delusions of grand jewel..

Now just a minute.

And what's more,

if you will recall,

no one asked youto come barge in here

the night you were stupid enough

not to find that memofrom Mr. Holmes.

Oh, yeah? How do Iknow you didn't hide that

memo just so I wouldhave to come here, huh?

You are the mostmiserable man I ever saw. [crying]

Oh, go on, go on, act like a woman.

Ball, cry your eyes up.

But a lot of good it'sgoing to do you with me.

I think you are conceitedand a blue perfect square.

That's what I think you are.

And I wouldn'tmarry a snob like you

if I ended up in theSpinster Cemetery.

Snob? What do you mean, snob?

-Just that.-After the way I have worked,

build a $ millionindustry out of nothing,

you call that being a snob?

Mr. Kendall, there aredifferent varieties of snobs.

Your particularvariety is a work snob.

Work is your crave and idol,

your beginning andyour end of everything.

But let me tell you something else.

When it comes to work, I canwork rings around you any day.

Now, I suggest thatyou just leave here

before I really tellyou what I think.

All right, all right if that's theway you feel about it, I will leave.

And right now,

[sighs] oh Lorrainelook, I mean Nora,

sometimes in an argumentlike this, both parties are wrong.

Now, why don't we just forget it?

I'll be delighted.

[sighs] Oh, the whole thinghas got me so upset.

You've got that ticket to Atlanta.

Why don't you go downand settle this business?

Oh, of course, I forgot.

Read our motto never turnaside from an honest buck.

All right, I'll go.

But I'm warningyou, when I get back,

you better have someonehire to replace me.

We'll cross that bridgewhen we come to it.

Now, thank you verymuch, Nora, I appreciate this.

Will you please go?I do have to pack.

Very well, pack!

[music]

Where have you been? It'salmost minutes of plane time.

Exactly! What are you doing here?

Well, I'm going with you.

If you're going, I'm staying.

Oh, no, you're not. You'recoming with me. Now, come on.

No, I'm not. [flight annoucement]

Flight , now boarding gate, for buffalo and Niagara falls.

Let's go.

Now boarding...

-The honeymoon?-That's right I've got two tickets

on that plane for Mr. AndMrs. Barry Kendall.

If you'll marry me when we getthere even though I am a work snob.

Oh, Darling! [both laughs]

Aww, we are both work snobs.

And if I really have hooked you,

I promise you I'm going towork harder than ever now.

Oh, no, you won't.

Once you've married me.You're through working.

Oh, you handsome, square.

I mean that I'm goingto work harder than ever

making our home the most wonderful,beautiful, happy place in the world.

[sighs] And we'regoing to fill it up

with lots of little newadditions to your line.

[both laugh and kiss]

Come on.

Oh, Barry.

[music]