There is a story some kids
Tell of when the world was ruled
By an evil adult... A story
About a boy, a book, and a tree.
[ All moaning ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Panting ]
Wait for me-e-e-e!
Ohhhh!
[ Grunting ]
C-o-o-ome back!
You can't just run off in the
Middle of your shift!
Pappy's gonna be awfully sore!
Oh, let him, ben.
We've been slaving away, making
Tapioca for him for "eleventy"
Hundred days straight!
And all he does is sneer, like
He's the evil king of the world
Or something.
He is the evil king of the
World!
Well, I'm sick of it!
I just wish we could... I don't
Know... Fight back or something!
Whoa!
Check it out!
Hey!
Where you going?!
What is this pla...
[ Both screaming ]
Aaahhhh!
[ Laughs ]
[ Groaning ]
[ Gasps ]
What's that?
"The book of... K.n.d."?
J-just put it back and let's
Go!
This place is creeping me out.
Be quiet, ben.
I'm reading.
Well, read faster!
Cool!
This book's some kind of
Instruction manual for battling
Adult tyranny.
It shows how to set up secret
Tree houses and everything.
And check it out.
There's a section for each kid
To write down his own story.
We are not gonna have a story
If pappy finds us here!
Don't you see, ben?
Now we have the tools to fight
Back.
We can make the world a better
Place for us, for all kids.
Do you know what kind of
Chance we'd have against pappy's
Powers?
Zero!
Boys, where are you?!
See?!
Ben, together we can do this.
I know we can.
What do you say?
Boys?!
Sorry.
So, that's it?
You think there's no hope?
You think I have zero chance?!
Well, I'll show you what the
Numbuh zero can do.
[ All moaning ]
Yeah-huh-huh-huh-huh!
We're saved!
[ Pappy roars ]
To think my own son would
Rebel against my evil power!
I'm giving you just three
Seconds to go to your room...
Or else!
Zero!
Uh-oh.
[ Screaming ]
Some kids say numbuh zero's
Victory that day was the dawn of
The seventh age of the kids next
Door.
Others say this story is only
Make-believe.
There never was a numbuh zero,
And there is no "book of k.n.d."
But I believe the book exists,
And I know what I will write in
Those pages if I ever find it.
Five words only... "I am kids
Next door."
[Font color="#ffff00"]captions by vitac[/font][font color="#ffffff"]...[/Font]
[Font color="#00ffff"]www.vitac.com[/font]
Captions paid for by
Cartoon network
Numbuh 1!
Hey!
Kids next door, battle
Stations!
Special delivery, courtesy of...
Numbuh 1, supreme commander
Of kids next door sector "v."
You're supposed to let me say
My name, numbuh 101.
Sorry!
I'm just so excited you made it
In time.
I don't know how much longer I
Could have held out.
Delicious!
Ice cream?
You wasted my valuable time just
To get you an ice-cream cone?!
Numbuh 86 said I could.
Ah!
The next time you call, it had
Better be important!
[ Gulps ]
Aah!
Now where was i?
Ah, yes, welcome to the kids
Next door seriously cool museum
Of artifacts and stuff.
[ All gasp ]
Step lively, people... Lots to
See.
Here we have some of our
Earliest 2x4 technology, so
Primitive, in fact, that it
Doesn't even use rubber bands or
Styrofoam cups.
Excuse me, mr. 101, Sir, what
Is this?
That, my dear sonia, is the
One and only recommissioning
Device said to be built by
Numbuh zero himself.
It could reawaken anyone's
Memories, even if their minds
Have been wiped clean in one of
Our decommissioning chambers.
Does it work?
Oh!
If you knew your kids next
Door history, you'd be aware
That it was damaged beyond
Repair in the great junior-high
Rebellion of '99!
Honestly!
Sorry.
Oh, never mind that.
If you want to see something
That's cool and works, follow
Me.
It's right this way, past the
Food court and gallery of
Supervillainy.
[ All muttering ]
Oh, for pete's sake!
Don't be chicken.
They're just statues sculpted
Out of numbuh 191's ear wax.
Ew!
Here we are.
Behold my greatest invention.
Uh, that just looks like a
Calculator.
Fools!
This is a k.n.d.n.a. Tracer.
With just a tiny trace element
Of dna... An old, chewed-up gum
Wad, sweaty sock, or a booger...
It can track anything, even the
True identity of numbuh zero!
And yes, it's also a calculator.
Oh, give me a break!
Numbuh zero's a myth.
My big sister said so, and she
Should know, 'cause she's
Numbuh 362 and all.
Numbuh zero's about as real as
That statue of knightbrace back
There.
[ Laughs evilly ]
I smell tooth decay!
No need to be scared,
Right, lee?
It's all of us against only one
Of him.
Wrong, you brats!
Mr. Boss!
Crazy, old cat lady!
Mr. Fibb!
Tour group "f," battle stations!
[ All yelling ]
Charge!
[ Panting ]
No!
My diorama of the missing sector
"Z."
I worked all week on that.
Aah!
[ Laughs evilly ]
Time for a checkup from the
Fluoride fury, knightbrace!
No!
Oh, may future kids next door
Forgive me.
Whoa!
Huh?
Whaa!
Broken bicuspids...
Mashed molars...
Impacted incisors.
Oh-aahhh!
[ Sighs ]
Hey, are those souvenir hats?
I'll take two.
Got to get help.
Alert, alert.
Calling sector "v."
Calling sector "v."
Calling sector "v."
Yeah, I know I was supposed
To go fishing today, dad.
No, it's not that I don't like
Spending quality time with you.
It's just, you know, more cool
Hanging out with my friends than
With my dad.
[ Monitor beeping ]
Incoming transmission from
Moon base.
And a priority-encrypted
Triple-distress code from
Numbuh 101 at kids next door
Museum.
Said this time it's important.
Your girlfriend's calling
From the mall.
She wants to know what kind of
Socks you want.
Got to go, dad.
Something important has come up.
Numbuh 5, moon base on screen.
Numbuh 1, get your lazy butt
Up to the moon base right now!
Sorry, numbuh 86, no time for
Another one of your silly
Ice-cream deliveries.
I've got a real emergency to
Deal with.
Silly?!
I am giving you a direct
Order...
Numbuh 2, get us back to the
Museum now.
Numbuh 4, ready the weapons.
Numbuh 5, I want a full tactical
Readout yesterday.
And, numbuh 3, tell my
Girlfriend cotton.
These wool socks are too itchy.
That boy hung up on me!
We don't have time for this.
Hail sectors "p," "d," and "q"
Instead... On the double!
We need all the help we can get.
[ Laughs evilly ]
Old stickybeard hears there's
Blurpleberry ice cream in that
Base.
Who wants some, lads?
[ All cheering ]
Ah ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Brush-a, brush-a, brush-a!
Ha ha ha ha!
Good thing the superchair had
Clean undies on today, mr. Wink.
Most fortunate indeed,
Mr. Fibb.
Now, childrens, prepare to
Feel the wrath of
Count spankulot!
[ Laughs evilly ]
Ooh! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Hey, spankaholic, time to
Teach you the australian word
For ouch.
Ridiculousness!
And those who fail to realize
That the australian word for
"Ouch" would still be ouch will
Be...
Is that a k-kangaroo?
Yaahhh!
That's how you say ouch in
Australian.
Help!
Come back, you skinny boy!
Gramma stuffum isn't done
Feeding you yet!
Aah!
All right, bring on the next
Course!
Such a steely appetite.
Maybe you like better
Gramma stuffum's chef surprise!
Impossible!
No one can eat that much refried
Platypus intestine!
Platypus?!
No, this kitty's the most
Huggable!
Oh, no... No, wait.
This kitty's the most huggable!
Oh, no, no, no, wait, wait,
Wait.
This kitty's definitely the
Most...
They're supposed to strike
Terror in your soul.
Oh, okay.
Aaahhhh!
No, this kitty's the most
Huggable!
Looks like I finally get to
Try out my new move...
Guaranteed to take out four
Enemies in one sh*t.
Retreat!
Move it!
Let's go, let's go!
Back to the convention center.
Aw!
I wanted to try my new move.
Yeah, that's right!
Go back to your convention
Center.
Oh, it's so cool to be
Finally saved by the illustrious
Sector "v."
You know, I have all kinds of
Sector "v" stuff... Numbuh 5's
Blurpleberry supreme, numbuh 4's
Report that sickened the
Were-poodle.
Oh!
I've even got the original
Rainbow monkey underwear
Numbuh 1 wore when the
Delightful children tried to
Blackmail him with a butt photo!
What did I say about sneaking
Into my room and stealing my
Stuff, matt?
I've just got to get your
Autographs.
I mean, I obviously have all
Your autographs already, but not
In red!
Be right back.
Numbuh 5 say we split before
Fan boy finds a crayon.
No, no, let's get out of
Here.
We're out of here.
[ All screaming ]
Waahhh!
We can't hold out much longer!
That's okay.
I don't need much time to whup
These pirates back to candyland.
All I need is a situation
Report.
Situation?!
Our situation is watching the
Moon base get blasted to bits
Because you took your sweet time
Getting here!
The cotton-candy factory's on
Overload.
All decommissioning chambers
Except for chamber three are
Destroyed.
And the video-game room is out
Of tokens.
Do we still have
Pretzel-making capabilities?
Yeah, but I don't see what
Difference...
End transmission.
It's time to put the "irate"
Back in pirate, people.
On my mark, numbuh 2.
Engage!
Kids next door...
Shabby camper actually makes
Perfect emergency rescue
Shuttle, obviously
Overwhelmingly providing really
Excellently massive extras.
Whoo-hoo!
Darr!
'Tis me nougaty nemesises...
Sector "v."
Hard to starboard!
And load more gum balls!
Target lock acquired.
Auto-destruct engaged.
Ready to blow my nose!
This will take perfect aim
And timing, old friend.
You sure you can do it?
Nope.
[ Beeping ]
Wait a minute.
Is numbuh 1 aiming his ship...
To crash directly into...
Me?!
All ships converge on the
sweet victory.
And blast those lousy
Landlubbers out of the sky now!
Auto-destruct engaged.
Stop them!
Blast them!
Oh, sour balls.
Now!
Huh?
[ Beeps ]
Now that idiot's heading
For...
My moon base!
Impact in 3... W... 9...
Numbuh 3, blow your nose!
Ha ha!
There! There!
I see it!
Auto-destruct engaged.
Time to haul it!
Out! Everybody out!
Auto-destruct final
Countdown.
Special delivery from
Numbuh 1, you salty, old pirate.
We're saved, me hearties!
Break out the chocolate dip.
Huh?
Bye-bye.
[ All yelling ]
I'm salty!
Get it off!
Get it off!
I can't taste me hand!
Retreat!
All salty!
No longer sweet!
Man, numbuh 1, I'm glad I'll
Never have to fight you.
You're crazy.
Nigel uno, I have one thing
To say to you.
Are you out of your mind?!
What makes you think you can
Ignore a direct order?
I had to save the museum.
It contains all known artifacts
Of numbuh zero.
It was a diversion, baldy!
For the first time ever, some
Supervillain managed to
Coordinate all our sworn enemies
To att*ck us simultaneously.
As supreme commander, it is my
Job to decide what the villains'
True objective is so we can
Counterattack as a team!
You can't just decide what the
Battle priorities are by
Yourself!
My team saved the museum and
The moon base.
Even if it was a diversion, the
Museum is always a priority.
It's a shrine to numbuh zero.
It's an inspiration for kids
Worldwide... An inspiration for
Me.
[ Crying ]
Beautiful.
Ugh!
That's the attitude I'm talking
About.
In the middle of a battle, we
Don't need dreamers who only
Care about made-up heroes like
Numbuh zero.
You're a brave kid, nigel, but
You only saved us by being
Reckless and lucky.
Luck is like ice cream.
It can't last forever.
I was going to offer you the
Position of global tactical
Officer, but I won't take a
Chance on a boy who flies off
The handle before he listens.
So I'm giving the post to
Numbuh 86.
Yes!
In your face, boy!
Yee-ha!
[ Alarm blares ]
Incoming message on priority
Emergency frequency.
This is numbuh 101.
Do you read me?
Hello!
This is the new global tactical
Officer, numbuh 86.
What is the nature of your
Emergency?
Oh, numbuh 1 and his team
Left before I could get their
Autographs.
I mean, obviously, I've already
Got their autographs, but not in
Red.
That's your emergency?!
Well, yeah!
I mean, autographs are so much
More important than some missing
Recommissioning module.
Huh?
I mean, I don't even know why
A bad guy would bother stealing
It.
The thing's damaged beyond
Repair, right?
Right... Beyond repair.
[ Chuckles nervously ]
Excuse us, numbuh 86, but is
There something you'd like to
Say?
Fanny?
Um, the module is
Operational.
I used it to recommission
Sector "v" after the incident
With numbuh 274.
I mean, chad turning traitor.
I thought it would be safer if
Nobody knew.
So I sent it back to the museum.
With a working
Recommissioning module, a
Villain could restore the
Memories of any former kids
Next door operatives, even if
They're adults.
Adults who would know all our
Secrets.
Then the moon-base att*ck was
A diversion, and who's ever
Planning this is...
The convention center!
No, wait, numbuh 1!
It's too dangerous.
What's so wrong about coming up
With a plan?
[Villains talking indistinctly]
My fellow adults, thank you
All for joining me today.
First off, I'd like to thank
Gramma stuffum for not providing
The catering at the
Supervillains' convention.
And I want to thank each and
Every villainous one of you for
Today's att*cks on the hated
Kids next door!
[ Crowd applauds ]
Seriously, guys, good hustle out
There.
Father?
I should have known.
Today, I shall release upon
Those brats the world's most
Ultimate evil.
What, you ask, can be more evil
Than me, father?
Ooh! Ooh!
Me, me!
Pick me!
Is it someone who won't flush
After he uses the toilet?
Don't be so very ridiculous,
Toilenator.
It is surely glove
Manufacturers.
Maybe it's dogs.
Dogs are evil!
Ha!
Hey, tv executives, huh?
First off, that was a
Rhetorical question.
Everybody, if you would...
Old magazines at the doctor's
Office.
Shut up!!
You're all wrong!
The one evil that is greater
Than I is...
Grandfather!
What?
Is it time for wee-wees already?
The guy who doesn't flush is
Scarier than this geezer.
That's because I haven't used
The kids next door
Recommissioning module on him
Yet.
This man... This hunchified,
Liver-spotted creature with hair
Growing out of his ears... Was
Once the supreme power in the
World until he was defeated by a
Misguided boy and his stupid
Book, a boy who wiped
Grandfather's memories clean and
Evaporated his powers before my
Eyes.
But now i, his son, will restore
His evil abilities, and together
We shall return the world's
Snotty brats to their rightful
Place!
Not while nigel uno is
Around.
Numbuh 1, don't do it!
It's my fault father got his
Hands on the module.
So it's my job to stop him.
Wait.
And furthermore...
Oh, look.
It's numbuh 1... Right on
Schedule.
Actually, the schedule says
We've got a coffee break after
Your announcements.
The only one taking a break
Today is little "nigey" from
Playing tree house with my
Little sister.
I'll show her who...
Aah!
Long time no see, k.n. Dorks.
Chad!
What are you doing here,
Traitor?
Just playing on the winning
Team.
Poor, predictable nigel uno.
I knew you'd try to retrieve the
Device, even if it wasn't
Operational.
What?!
Oh, didn't you hear?
The recommissioning device is
Useless without an active kids
Next door operative's genetic
Material inside it.
And it looks like I couldn't
Have picked a better operative.
You have handed me the utter
Destruction of the kids next
Door.
How much sweeter the victory
Knowing it's all your fault!
So, shall we begin?
[ Playing "pop goes
[ The weasel" ]
Aah! Aaahhh!
[ Laughs evilly ]
Thank you, son.
Thank you for reawakening the
Pure evil that laid dormant
Within me for these many years.
My pleasure...
[ Sniffling ]
Dad!
And now get out of my sight!
Um... Excuse me?
You've only reawakened me
Because you can't destroy those
Irksome kids next door by
Yourself.
But...
Nacch!
Why do I even bother?
I always liked his older brother
More anyway, even if he did
Destroy my powers.
Kids... What can you do?
What?
Are you still here?
b*at it!
I've got business with real
Villains.
Dumb, old recommissioning
Module.
I had to put my finger up
Numbuh 1's nose for this,
People?!
My fellow villains,
Revengefully, I make this solemn
Pledge.
This time I will not let a child
Get the better of me!
Never again shall youngsters
Interrupt my tranquility with
Their running around and their
Loud music and their "can I have
A nickel?
I want a nickel."
No, for this time I shall
Transform each and every
Snot-nosed brat on this planet
Into ancient, "agefied," senior
Citi-zombies before I force them
To produce bowl after bowl of
Sweet, delicious tapioca for me!
Yay!
Now, that is what I've been
Talking about.
Except the tapioca part.
That's kind of weird.
And, to ensure my total
Tranquility, I shall "ageify"
Everyone who has ever been a
Kid!
Genius!
Sheer... Wait a second.
I used to be a kid.
Me too.
We've been double-crossed.
How observant!
Uh, may I be excused?
I've, uh, got some quiche in the
Oven I've got to... Aah!
H-h-h-help!
[ Screaming ]
Is... Is he...
[ Roars ]
[ Coughing ]
Sorry.
It's my lumbago.
Ew!
And I thought the toilenator was
Soggy-looking before.
Run for your...
[ Laughing evilly ]
No!
Stop, please!
This isn't what was supposed to
Happen.
No need to panic.
No need to panic.
No need to panic!
[ Laughs evilly ]
[ Laughs evilly ]
They're getting all
"Wrinklefied" and stuff.
I'm outta here!
Aah!
Got to help numbuh 1.
Hey, cree, how's about a little
Family reunion?!
Aah!
Ooh!
Hey, what are you... Aah-aah!
Numbuh 1, come on.
We got to get out of here.
This is all my fault.
I shouldn't have come.
That's no way to talk.
We need you.
For what?
To get us in more trouble?
Whoa!
Yaah!
[ Moaning ]
Hey, look!
It's cree.
Uh, guys, I'll hold off cree.
You get back to the moon base...
Now!
We can't leave you.
Yes, you can before it's too
Late!
No!!
Shall we transform your
Bratty ex-friends?
Age before beauty, sis.
Yaah!
Go forth, my minions.
Decimate those meddlesome kids
Next door.
Once they're agefied and making
Me oceans of tapioca, I shall be
Refueled enough to find their
Stupid "book of k.n.d." And tear
It to shreds, forever ending
Anyone's hope of being a child
Again!
[ Laughs evilly ]
Hey, buddy, you done in here
Or what?
We got a bingo game booked in
Five minutes.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Bingo!
I got bingo!
Bingo.
I'm... I'm no numbuh zero.
I'm just a zero.
Two-thirds of our tree-house
Bases have been transformed into
Tapioca factories in the last
Hour alone.
At this rate...
We'll lose another 42 thirds
Within "eleventeen" minutes,
Leaving only one dollar and
Seven operatives left in 68
Quarters of the world.
Maybe I can recalibrate our
Age-defying birthday suits to
Counter grandfather's age-based
Powers.
What kind of equipment would
You need, numbuh 2?
I've got an "age-atonic"
Frequency modulator-a-bob back
At the tree house.
Are you nuts?!
That tree house will be a
Tapioca factory before you can
Even get there.
We'll go.
I need to pick up my
"Brave-in-the-face-of-certain-
Doom" rainbow monkey anyways.
Are you sure you need this
Doohickey, numbuh 2?
It's the only way.
All right, I'm in.
All right, then.
Numbuhs 3 and 4, take a shuttle
Down to the surface and retrieve
Numbuh 2's 2x4 technology.
Numbuh 86, order all operatives
From the arctic training base to
Form a perimeter around sector
"V."
Maybe they can buy us some time.
We don't need time.
We need a hero.
Some hero I am.
I've ruined everything.
I don't deserve to wear these
Glasses!
Huh?
The recommissioning module!
Its power source is
Numbuh zero's booger.
You have his dna.
You can track down the greatest
Hero the kids next door have
Ever known and recommission him.
You can save the world!
[ Echoing ]
What are you doing, matt?
Um, well, I never got your
Autograph in red.
Jeez!
You are such a fan boy.
There!
Now, if you don't mind, I have
An appointment with a hero.
Don't forget the k.n.d.n.a.
Tracker!
Um, right, then.
Wish me luck.
Wow!
Finally, I've got numbuh 1's
Autograph in... Hey!
You're not george washington.
Oh, I hate when you guys do
Stuff like that.
It ruins the whole autograph
Book.
I mean, seriously.
It's awful quiet in here.
Yeah, "three" quiet.
Three quiet?
What the crud is that supposed
To mean?!
It's one more than "two"
Quiet.
I had to ask.
Just climb the ladder.
[ Both scream ]
[ Panting ]
Oh, man, my mom made this
Cape special!
Why are you sneaking around
Here, tommy?
Duh!
I'm saving the day.
I figured with the kids next
Door turned into senior
Citi-zombies and all, my brother
Hoagie and you guys might need
Some help for the tommy is a
Hero cloaked in a cloak of terry
Cloth.
Tonight who owns the night?!
Ah!
What's your plan... "Borify" all
The bad guys to death?
Ha ha!
That was so funny I forgot to
Laugh.
Well, why don't you laugh
Now?
I mean, if you forgot and all.
You were saying?
I can help.
I can do battle with
Super-bad-guy-type villains
Like...
Me?
Yeah, like that totally old,
Wrinkly, gross toilenator behind
Me.
I can battle him while you guys
Do your mission.
That way, I'll help... Save...
The... Oh, boy.
Yaahhh!
Run!!
[ Both panting ]
[ Clears throat ]
We should, uh, get numbuh 2's
Stuff and get out of here.
It should be right over...
Aw, great.
He never told us what his cruddy
Age-atonic thing looks like!
Oh, I wish numbuh 5 was here.
[ Both gasp ]
Well, I'm here, all right.
Numbuh 5, you... You better
Start using some moisturizer or
Something.
Here, try my rainbow monkey soft
Skin.
Listen, numbuh 5, I don't
Want to fight you.
Of course you don't.
'Cause you're the weakest,
Shortest, dumbest, most chicken,
Big-mouth squirt on the entire
Team!
Okay, now I want to fight
You!
[ g*n clicking ]
Oh!
Crud!
Ha!
[ Gasps ]
Wally?
Kuki?
Hamsters!
What?
Aah!
Come on!
Lousy, miserable fur balls!
Oh!
Come on, kuki!
Kuki, I'm scared.
I-i don't know what to do next.
Kiss me.
Kiss you?!
No way.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Nuh-uh.
Nope. No way.
Unh-unh.
No way... Ain't gonna hap...
Okay.
Pucker up!
Yaahhhh!
[ Screaming ]
The signal's getting
Stronger.
Numbuh zero's got to be close
By.
Right behind this door.
But...
This is my house.
Son, what are you doing home
So soon?
I thought you'd be playing with
Your kids next door or whatever
It is.
What is it you children say?
Well, never mind.
Has to be a malfunction.
Um, dad, is there anyone else in
The house?
You know, anyone cool and heroic
And stuff?
Oh, no, no.
No, your mother's getting all
Gussied up at the beauty parlor.
So it's just you and me, old
Bean.
Uh, dad, does the phrase
"Numbuh zero" mean anything to
You?
Ooh, I know.
This is some sort of word game,
Isn't it?
Don't tell me.
Don't tell me.
Um...[ Mumbling ]
I give up.
Maybe he knows.
[ Laughs evilly ]
Aahhh!
Whaaa!
No!
I say, nigel, you know that
Is terribly impolite.
That man is a guest.
I'll flush you for that!
Oh!
L-listen, dad.
That guy... He just, uh, he came
Over to play tag, and whatever
You do, we can't let him tag
You, okay?
Well, jolly good.
I love these quality-time
Activities.
Raahhh!
[ Laughs ]
[ Panting ]
Come back here, nigel uno!
Oh, hello!
Jolly fun game, what?
Here it is.
Kids next door
V.a.c.d.o.o.m.... Very airy
Cannon delivers oscillating oath
Massively.
Come on, dad!
[ Panting ]
[ Growling ]
Joaquin?
Out of my way, you 100-year-old
Hamster!
Uh... Hamsters.
And now enter the tommy!
[ Hacking ]
Sorry about that.
I went from 7 to 65 in a few
Seconds.
Looks like it's time to clean
House.
Hey!
Don't point that thing at...
Biscuits to the wind.
Is that a new vacuum?
Why, your mother would be
Absolutely thrilled.
Ah...
Game's back on, dad.
Run!
Nigel, did I just see mice
Back there?
No, dad, just keep running.
Well, I'll be.
You cleaned your room, nigel.
Yeah, dad, first time for
Everything.
Let's go!
Hang on.
Escape pod activated.
Yes!
We're gonna make it out of here.
Malfunction, malfunction.
Escape pod malf...
Say, old bean, what should we
Play next?
Aahhh!
I did see a mouse back there.
They're hamsters, dad, and
They're not playing!
All right, then.
How about a little crossword
Puzzle?
Dad, will you just shut up so
I can figure out how to save
Your life?!
What is the matter with you?!
Oh, i-i'm sorry.
I only wanted to have some fun
With you, son.
Oh!
I'm sorry, dad.
I didn't mean to yell at you
Like that.
It's just that we're... Dad?
Dad?
[ Gasps ]
No!
There's too many of them.
Numbuh 3, numbuh 4, do you
Read me?
Did you find the age-atonic
Frequency modulator-a-bob?
We found something even
Better... Each other!
Whoa!
End transmission, please!
Numbuh 2, you're going to have
To remodulate those birthday
Suits without your age-atonic
Thing.
But that's "unpossible."
Numbuh 60 reporting for duty.
[ Laughing, wheezing ]
Oops.
I wet them.
Make it work!
Fanny, you guard numbuh 2.
But what about you, sir?
I'm going to throw numbuh 60
A retirement party.
Raah!
Ooh.
Uh, hold on.
Oh, no.
Get off of me!
Let me go!
[ Gasps ]
[ Laughs evilly ]
Whaaaa!
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!
[ Groans ]
Where... Where am i?
Huh?
I... I don't believe it.
I've run, like, "eleventy"
Billion scans on this tree and
Never found even a hint of this
Place.
Oh, there you are, nigel, old
Bean.
Looks like our house has an
Extra walk-in closet, eh?
Yeah.
Dad, could I ask you a favor?
Now, son, I've already given
You this week's allowance, but
If you really need...
No, it's not that.
I'm going to try something
Called "recommissioning" on you.
If it works, you're going to
Help me save the world.
Oh, well, that.
If it were to make you happy,
Son, let's give it a try.
[ Playing "pop goes
[ The weasel" ]
Aah!
[ Coughing ]
Dad?
Man, oh, man, I've got a
Hankering for some blurpleberry
Ice cream, closest thing to the
Fourth flavor I've ever tasted.
Dad, you are numbuh zero.
Oh, my gosh!
I can't believe it.
Oh, I can't wait to tell
Everyone.
They'll be like, "you're the
Coolest, numbuh 1."
And I'll be like, "yeah, I am,
Aren't i?"
And we can go on missions
Together and battle evil adults.
My own dad is really
Numbuh zero!
Of course I'm numbuh zero,
Nigel.
Where do you think you got all
Of your skills?
[ Laughs nervously ]
So, what's the situation,
Son?
Probably pretty dire if you've
Recommissioned my memories and
Located the original ultra
Top-secret treasure chamber of
Coolness.
This is the tree house of
Coolness?
Home to the one and only
"Book of k.n.d."
Have a look for yourself.
Wow!
This is the coolest, most
Amazing thing in the world to
Happen to me ever!
Still got some room on my
Page, and yours is empty.
Let's make sure we fill them
With real crackerjack stories,
Eh?
Sure, da... I mean
Numbuh zero.
Right, then.
Situation report, numbuh 1.
Our archenemy father had the
Kids next door recommissioning
Module you built stolen and used
It on a totally powerful guy
Called grandfather, who's
Transforming everyone into
Really old and evil senior
Citi-zombies, sir.
Hmm... Looks grim.
Excellent!
But we will need some help to
Whup this.
Help?
But you're numbuh zero.
You don't need help.
Say, you don't think I
Defeated grandfather all by
Myself, do you?
I'm only as good as my team.
Then, we're doomed.
Almost every operative on the
Planet has been senior
Citi-zombified.
Who said anything about
Getting help from the kids next
Door?
Hurry up with that device,
Will you?
Hey, this wouldn't be easy
Even if I had the right tools.
Typical boy... Always an
Excuse for everything.
You're no picnic yourself,
Numbuh 86.
You really need to lighten up.
Try yoga or something.
Hold it.
I... Oh, I think i... Yeah!
I've got it.
Huh? Sort of.
Now to get to work on the
Others.
Well, it's about time...
For your destruction!
Ya-ha!
[ Groans ]
You're about to become as old
As one of your jokes.
Not bad, numbuh 86, but I
Would have said, "talk to the
Hand, but talk loudly, 'cause
It's an old hand."
No, wait, wait.
That's not very funny.
Okay, okay, wait.
How's about...
Aah!
I'm too young to be old!
Aahhh!
The kids next door is
Destroyed!
The moon base is yours,
Grandfather.
[ Cheering ]
Silence!!
Now is not the time to
Celebrate.
But you defeated those bratty
Kids next door.
The world's villains are
Under your control.
And you have all the tapioca
You can eat.
Yes, yes, but now I must
Ensure that my rule is
Permanent by destroying that
Infernal "book of k.n.d."
Because when kids read it, they
Discover the only thing more
Powerful than me.
A really big guy who can
Punch super hard?
An army of robot gorillas
That bite?
Um... Pie?
No, you fools!
Hope.
When my son discovered that
Book, he became filled with a
Kind of hope that only
Snot-nosed kids are stupid
Enough to believe in.
That is why this time I shall
Personally destroy every trace
Of the "book of k.n.d." And
Anyone that stands in my way.
Come on.
[ Rings ]
Oh, happy day.
It's you!
Well, come on in, I guess.
Are you crazy, dad?
I know you've been away and all,
But that's our worst enemy.
Try listening to what's going
On, numbuh 1.
You might just learn something.
Excuse the mess, like I give
A doo-doo anymore.
Why don't you take off that
Ridiculous outfit?
What, this?
It matches my eyes.
Not that...
This!
Aah-ow!
Say "uncle," son.
But we haven't lost yet.
And you're supposed to be the
Smart one.
I'm your dad's brother,
Benedict... Your uncle.
M-m-m-m-my... My... My uncle?
Yeah, you know, the one who
Wouldn't join him after he found
The "book of k.n.d." Blah, blah,
Blah, yadda, yadda.
But if you're my uncle, then
That makes grandfather my
Grandfather!
What are you, president of
The obvious club or something?
That's enough.
All right, ben, you know what
It's like when pappy controls
The world.
This is a second chance... Your
Chance to do the right thing.
Now, I've got a plan, but we
Need the help of you and your
So-called children.
Together: [ monotone] how
About a helping of this?!
[ Laughing evilly ]
No!
We have to help them.
But, father, that's our
Archenemy, nigel uno...
Silence!
It's my fault for reawakening
Grandfather.
Fine.
He's evil, which I admire, but
He's also a jerk!
I thought he'd at least share
Control of the world with me,
But no-o-o-o!
If he succeeds, I'll be
Nothing, which means you'll be
Nothing.
Now, I think you like being
Feared by your peers, right?
Yes, father.
Good.
Then we help uncle monty.
Yes, father.
Right after we blast these
K.n. Doofuses!
Huh?
Blast this!
[ Playing "pop goes
[ The weasel" ]
The members of sector "z"
Thank you.
The missing members of sector
"Z."
The delightful children from
Down the lane are the missing
Kids next door members of sector
"Z."
D-dad, the delightful children
From down the lane are the
Missing members of sector "z."
How did you know?
Come on, ben!
Five kids with that kind of
Tactical genius and strategy?
Had to be ex-kids next door that
You "deligthfulized" until
Something went terribly wrong.
You mean something went
Terribly right!
My first "delightfulization"
Chamber blew a fuse, increasing
Its power eleventy-billion fold.
I lost the machine but gained
Five perfect, delightful
Children.
But we thought the effects
Were permanent.
They are.
I have no idea how long this
Transformation will last.
You could revert back at any
Time.
I'm sorry.
So let's use the time we
Have.
I want to do something good
Before I have to wear those
Dorky outfits again.
What's the plan?
Grandfather's coming here.
How do you know?
He wants the "book of k.n.d."
So, hide it again.
That worked last time.
That's because he didn't know
It existed.
But now he won't quit until he's
Sure he's eliminated the book.
But there's no way on earth
We can stop him.
You're right... Not on earth.
[ Sniffing ]
That book is close.
I can smell it.
Typical benedict... Running
Whenever there's trouble.
I don't know, monty.
Maybe I should have been on that
Ship.
Pappy's gonna be awfully sore.
Nonsense, ben.
We can do this together, like we
Should have done all those years
Ago.
[ Laughs evilly ]
Well, well, well, if it isn't my
Two boys.
It's so good to see you.
One of you, anyway.
Oh, pappy, that's not fair.
Ha!
Who ever accused me of being
Fair?
Oh, monty, if you would only
Have been more evil.
You could have been nasty or
Even mildly unpleasant.
What about me?
I'm in this family, too, and I'm
Pretty evil.
I reek of evil.
Why don't you give it a rest?
Now, monty, I'm only thinking of
Our heritage.
You big jerk!!
Now you've made me angry...
Very, very, very...
Ah, forget it.
You can wrestle with pappy
Yourself, monty.
I'm going to get some rocky
Road.
[ Laughs evilly ]
I'm getting tired of all this
Resistance, son.
Why don't you behave for once in
Your life?
Now go fetch your pappy that
Book.
I am not moving from this
Spot!
You know what I did wrong
Last time?
I gave you a choice between
Going to your room or being
Punished.
I won't give you that choice
Again!
All right, with sector "z"
Holding off the senior
Citi-zombies, that'll leave me
With just enough time to...
[ Gasps ]
Welcome, numbuh 1, as in one
Sorry son of a g*n now that
We're about to transform you
Into one of us.
Oh!
Even as a senior citi-zombie,
His lines still stink.
Enough talk.
Let's "destroyinate" him.
Uh, I wanted to try my new
Move to take out four enemies at
Once, but not on you guys.
Tough!
Think about what you're
Doing!
You were the one that got me
Into the k.n.d.
Wally!
Who saved you from those bullies
On your first day of school?
That's old news, mate...
As old as me!
Ow!
And, kuki...
[ Panting ]
Hoagie, you've been my best
Friend since kindergarten.
Get over it!
How about I get under it?
Aah!
[ Panting ]
It's... It's no good.
I... I can't fight all of you
Alone.
I've always had a team to back
Me up.
Well, then, it's a good thing
We're on your team now, huh?
This is gonna be...
Delightful.
[ Roars ]
Got to get this show on the
Road.
Targeting initialized.
Input 5,000-digit coordinate
Code now.
Just a little more.
[ Roars ]
Hey, tapioca tush...
Catch.
Ooh, my liver spot.
Ooh... Ooh.
Thanks, david.
I don't know what I'd do without
You guys.
Well, you might want to
Figure that out, because we're
Transforming back.
What?!
Aahhh!
The kids next door... How we
Miss them!
[ All screaming ]
No!!
Oh... Yeah!
Malfunction, malfunction.
Your resistance is
Impressive, but pointless.
You cannot withstand my senior
Citi-zombification forever.
Even you, my son, are zero
Compared to me.
That may be, but my son is
Numbuh 1!
Next stop... Way down the
Lane!
Aah!
Goodbye, sector "z."
I'll miss you.
[ Scoffs ]
A lot more than I'll miss your
Delightful side, that's for
Sure.
Targeting system destroyed.
Targeting system destroyed.
Targeting system...
Looks like I got to do it the
Hard way.
Manual targeting system...
Activated.
Oh, no, I can't work all of
These bikes alone.
Then, again, maybe I don't have
To.
Must resist.
[ Grunting ]
Must remain right here.
Kids next door, battle
Stations!
[ All cheering ]
Nice work on the birthday suits,
Numbuh 2, even if they haven't
Completely changed you back yet.
Just doing my part for the
Team.
This next part will take
Perfect aim and timing, old
Friend.
Sure you can do it?
Nope.
Ah!
Ow!
Sorry.
The lower half of my body is
Still evil.
Just steer the moon already.
Target coming into range.
I need more power if we're
Gonna fire this thing.
Pour it on.
Hey, numbuh 5, so what kind
Of m*ssile are we f*ring at the
Earth?
There aren't any missiles
Left, numbuh 4.
Steady... Steady...
No missiles?
Then, what the crud are we
f*ring?
Us.
What?!
You got to be kidding.
And... Fire now!
Naaahhh!
Hang on to your underwear!
How can you resist me for so
Long?!
Simple, dad.
That book you're looking for...
It's in my back pocket.
You have the book?
Give it to me.
Give me, give me.
At last, my victory is complete!
With the destruction of the
Book, I will rule the earth
Unchallenged, and nothing will
Ever stop me ever again!
Not even...
A "gihugic," flaming moon base?
I hate everyone.
Great job, team.
Enough with the kicking already.
[ Grunting ]
[ Footsteps approaching ]
Monty, monty, monty, did you
Honestly believe that a mere 39
"Gazillion" tons of red-hot
Metal and duct tape would crush
Me?
Wasn't trying to crush you,
Pappy.
I just wanted to see what would
Happen when you put an adult
Into a decommissioning chamber.
[ Gasps ]
Now, nigel.
You're out of my will, you
Brat.
Aah!
Is this the cafeteria?
It's mushy bean night, you know.
Oh, hello, pappy!
I didn't know you were coming
For a visit.
I wish I would have had a chance
To tidy up.
You were right.
If you'd listened to me, we'd
All be making tapioca right now.
You believed in numbuh zero and
Saved not only the kids next
Door, but the world.
Not to mention, you found out
Numbuh zero was totally your
Dad!
I know, right?
But you know what?
It was you that was right.
I put myself before the team.
But I couldn't have saved the
World without them.
I can make it up to you by
Giving you numbuh 86's
Promotion.
Ah, let her keep it.
I'd rather be with my friends in
Sector "v" anyway.
I understand.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've got one last teammate to
Find.
Okay, numbuh zero, let's
Recommission you again.
No!
Not now.
You can't break now.
Hello, son.
Dad?
If you're watching this, then
We've won.
Congratulations.
You're probably wondering why
The recommissioning module is
Broken.
Well, I broke it.
I had a hunch you might want to
Use it to get numbuh zero back.
Well, look.
I would love to have tons more
Adventures with the super-cool
Numbuh 1 and his team.
But I'm just not a kid anymore.
I'm an adult, and I need to
Complete the most important
Mission of my life... Being a
Good father to my son.
So, you're the keeper of the
Book now, nigel.
That's right.
Keep a stiff upper lip and make
Sure everyone gets to write
Their own crackerjack story.
I say, what's going on around
Here, old bean?
You kids building one of your
No, dad.
I was just playing with an old
Friend.
There is a story some kids tell
Of not so long ago, when the
World was almost ruled by an
Evil adult... A story about a
Boy, his dad, a book, and a
Tree.
It's the true story of how I
Found the "book of k.n.d." And
What I wrote in it.
Five words only... We are kids
Next door.
Codename: Kids Next Door - Operation: Z.E.R.O. (2006)
Moderator: Maskath3
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