01x08 - Episode 8

[bunniefuu]

[school bell rings]

[excited chatter in hallway]

[bright instrumental music playing]

[deodorant can spraying]

[door squeaks open, closes]

- [Mary] Good night, Miss Morley.
- Night, Mary. Have a lovely summer.

[Mary] Six whole weeks?
I don't know what to do with myself.

[bright music ends]

[door squeaks closed]

[Godalming] Come in.

- Wanted to see me, Phil?
- Yes.

Just a moment.

["Connection" by Elastica playing]

[both panting]

[Emma grunts]

♪ Riding on any wave ♪

♪ That is the luck you crave... ♪

[grunting] Sorry. Go... Go get the stuff.

♪ So got anything? ♪

♪ Anyone could have done ♪

♪ Who would've cared at all? ♪

♪ Not you ♪

♪ Another heart ♪

♪ Has made the trade ♪

♪ Forget it, forget it, forget it ♪

♪ I don't understand ♪

♪ How a heart is a spade ♪

♪ But somehow
The vital connection is made ♪

[song ends]

[Emma and Godalming panting]

[Emma sighs] Your stapler.

It's under the desk, in case
you're looking for it in September.

- Thank you.
- [exhales]

How was that?

All okay?

I don't know, Phil. You've let me down.
You've let yourself down.

You've let the whole school down.

[chuckles]

Seriously, though. Any feedback?

Feedback?

[chuckles] Okay.

Uh, Phil continues to excel this term.

He responds very well to instruction

and is always willing
to take on new challenges with...

Gusto.

- Well, I was gonna say "flair."
- [scoffs]

- However, his language is disgusting.
- I can't help myself.

One minute,
it's the Duke of Edinburgh Award,

and next, suddenly this filth.

That is your bad influence.

- [scoffs] So it's my fault?
- Yeah.

If you weren't so gorgeous...

I'm not gorgeous, though, am I?
I'm just young.

- Or younger.
- Not that much younger.

- I'm still in my twenties.
- [laughs] For three more weeks.

You are gorgeous, though.

Also, I have to say, a terrific teacher.

Thanks. That's nice.

No, I'm serious.

The kids love you. The other staff.

I know the exam results
are gonna be wonderful.

And I think, after the long holidays,
we should talk about your future here.

[scoffs] Okay.

Not head of year. Not yet.

Okay, but can we have this conversation
with your trousers on?

Fair enough. Mm.

Six weeks without this. [sighs]

- Mm.
- Mm? [grunts]

I know what you can do over the holidays.

- [quietly] Lose this.
- [sighs]

Just shave it off. I won't get this rash,
and I'll get to see your face.

I can't shave it off.

Why not?

What are you trying to hide?

What's behind the mask, Phil?

- It's my trademark.
- Trademark?

It's because I've got
too much testosterone.

I shave it off at breakfast,
I look like a pirate by teatime.

And Fiona says
I've got a weak chin otherwise.

[Emma sighs]

- I'll change the subject.
- Okay. Yeah.

Year Ten need more Of Mice and Men.

I will see what I can do. [sighs]

What's wrong?

[phone ringing]

sh*t! That'll be Fiona. Uh...

- Where are my trousers?
- She can't see your legs, Phil.

She'll hear it in my voice. [groans]

[phone continues ringing]

[huffs]

[cheerfully] Hello?

- [Fiona] Hello, darling. Where are you?
- I'm just finishing off here.

Hang on, I'll take you.
Yep, that's better.

[sighs]

Certainly. I'll call in on the way home.

[sighs] Stir-fry or pasta?

[quietly] Are you asking me?

Stir-fry, I think.

Oh no, we've got prawns in the freezer.

In the back, at the bottom.

I'm sure. Last year, I think.

- [somber music playing]
- [Godalming] Look at the date.

No, they'll be fine. They last forever.

Okay, I'll get some.
But don't throw them out.

Uh, you too.

- Bye.
- [receiver clatters]

Thank you.

[Emma] God, end of term
is so weird, isn't it?

Everyone winding down, getting distracted.
All the teachers putting videos on.

- Hope you're not putting videos on.
- Me?

- No. Wouldn't dream of it.
- [chuckles] Yeah.

Um, here. Can...

[somber music fades]

So how are you gonna fill the time?

Uh, I'll go up to Leeds for a bit.
See my parents.

[Godalming] You are so bloody lucky,

having six weeks
stretching out ahead of you.

No ties, no responsibilities.

No nothing.

[hesitates] Well, not nothing.

[Godalming] Fiona's dragging me off
to Corsica.

Up and down. Up and down.

Literally, climb every mountain.

Two weeks with Julie Andrews.

What am I going to do without you?

[door opens]

Good job I saw your car.
Nearly locked you in.

Yeah. Just leaving now. Lock up behind us.

Thank you very much!

Enjoy the summer.

[door opens]

- [birds singing]
- [somber music resumes]

[somber music fades]

- I would kiss you, but the caretaker...
- No. I understand. I'm gonna go.

Let me at least
give you your birthday present.

Oh.

Oh. Yeah, yeah. Present. Okay.

Best come into the back. [taps]

- The boot?
- The back seat. Looks less suspicious.

[Godalming sighs]

Clearly, I can't go six weeks
without hearing your voice.

Not sure this is less suspicious.

And I wanted to get you something
for the big 3-0.

No. Hang on. This is silly. [grunts]

[sighs]

[exhales heavily]

It's quite lavish.

- Oh my God. Really?
- It's all yours.

It's top of the range.

You can even send messages on it,
like a little typewriter.

- This must have cost a fortune.
- It did.

But you are worth it.

And I thought I'd pay
for the first two months,

then you could take over the contract.

[sighs] I suppose
it was only a matter of time.

Don't like it?

No. No. It's just...

I've just lost a bet with someone.
That's all.

- Thank you.
- [chuckles]

Ah, uh...

- I would give you a lift...
- No, that's fine. I need a walk.

Enjoy Corsica.

Oh.

Prawns.

[car door closes]

[Emma sighs]

[somber instrumental music resumes]

[car horn beeps]

["Lo Boob Oscillator"
by Stereolab playing]

['90s French indie pop continues]

["Lo Boob Oscillator"
continues on headphones]

[Emma, under breath] Oh, f*ck. Not again.

[door closes]

For f*ck's sake.

[player clicks off]

- You're home late.
- Not sure what that's got to do with you.

- You don't live here, remember?
- Nah. That rings a bell.

You can't just keep letting yourself in.

I thought you'd be home, but apparently...

It was the end of term. Right?
There were things to mop up.

What do you need?
You've got all your stuff.

- Did you forget one of your dolls?
- They're not dolls. They're figurines.

- I'm looking for my passport.
- Why do you need your passport?

- Are you leaving the country?
- Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?

Well, I wouldn't mind.

So, where were you, then?

I just told you.

- Well, I think you were with someone.
- Not this again.

[sniffs]

You smell of it. You smell of sex.

That... that's not sex. It's... it's PE.

[sniffles]

Are you drunk?

I left my special edition liqueur here.

So, yeah. I may have had a few tumblers.

For Chrissake, give me back the key.
How many bloody copies do you have?

- f*ck it. I'm gonna change the locks.
- It's someone else!

- That... That is the only explanation!
- Oh my God, Ian.

What is this obsession you've got
with me... being with someone?

Why can't you just accept
that we weren't right for each other?

- We are right for each other.
- No. Okay. [chuckles] Okay, yeah.

Good point, Ian.

Yeah, see, I... I thought we weren't right
for each other. But if you think we are...

It's not just me. It's your mom too.
I spoke to her today.

Please stop speaking to my mom.
It's really weird.

She called me! She's... She's very upset.

Either that, then,
or start going out with her.

I mean, why fight it?
Dad'll be upset, but he'll love again.

Meanwhile, take this.

And...

Ta... [grunts] Ugh! This f*cking freezer.

Look at this crap. It's children's food.

Here.

f*cking crispy pancakes.
They're yours. I'm granting you custody.

- No, thank you.
- Then why are you here?

- What do you want?
- Right. I... Just... Just tell me the truth!

Like you said, now we're just friends.

You can tell me.

You've got no obligations. Just tell me.

It's Mr. Godalming.

The headmaster.

Phil. Phil, when we're alone.

Yeah. We've been having an affair
for the last six months.

Just about the sex, really.

Tables and school chairs.
Anything that stacks.

Yeah, it's wild.

Except it's starting
to feel a bit sad now.

A bit grubby.

Well, there you are.

Now you know.

- Don't take the piss.
- What, do you not believe me?

- It's not funny, Emma.
- It is a little bit.

Yeah. It's not actually true, anyway.

- Because I know the truth.
- Oh, okay.

Okay, Columbo. Please tell me.

I've got evidence.

[somber music playing]

[sighs] You bastard.

- You went through my private things?
- I didn't need to.

So obvious. The two of you just waiting
to get me out the way.

- What are you talking about?
- Dexter!

[whispers] God's sake.

Always him.

- We haven't seen each other in a year.
- I don't believe you.

To say nothing of the fact
that he's got a girlfriend.

No. Not anymore. I saw in the paper.
He and Suki, they've broken up.

- I don't care.
- As if!

I... I don't care who he goes out with!
We're not even friends.

Oh, is... is that right?

[scoffs, sighs]

What was it?

Hmm? Oh yeah.

This one's a personal favorite. [sniffles]

"Anything felt possible
in the cool of the Aegean,

tingling from the sea and salt."

What? You struggling to find
a rhyme with "Aegean"?

[chuckling] "Oh, to rest my face
in the hollow of your back."

You read my notebooks.

You've gone through my things
and read my notebooks.

Working on your novel?

You were sat in there
writing these sappy love poems!

This was from years ago!

Never wanted to rest your face
in the hollow of my back!

Your back doesn't have a f*cking hollow.

And how dare you
go through my things like that?

- Well, what is it you expect?!
- [laughs]

I expected some trust!

And I expected you to have
some dignity and self-respect.

God knows why.
All you do is whine and mope and moan.

If you ever turn up here again,
I swear I will call the police.

Oh, yeah? Well, go on, then!

- Call them! This is my flat too!
- Is it?

Why is it?

You never paid the mortgage.
You never did anything.

You just sat around all day, frying bacon,

watching videos,
feeling sorry for yourself.

I chipped in!

Well, it wasn't enough!

It was never enough!

I hate it here, and I always have!

Don't say that. This was our home.

I was never happy here, Ian.

- I got stuck. We both did.
- Why are you saying these things?

- Surely you can see that?
- No!

No. I loved you.

I still love you.

I don't... [sniffles]

I don't know what to do.

[spluttering] I don't know what to do.
What do... What do I do?

[sobbing]

[panting]

[softly] Can you just breathe, please?

Breathe. Breathe.

[gentle instrumental music playing]

[sniffles]

[music fades]

I am sorry.

That was despicable.

To go through your stuff.

I should never have asked you to marry me.

- Was it that? The ring?
- No.

I shouldn't have done it in the flat.
I should have...

taken you away
and put it in your calamari or something.

It wasn't that.

The proposal was lovely.

I would not have thanked you
for the calamari.

But no. It wasn't that.

And it wasn't Dexter either.

- But while we were together...
- Nothing happened.

Well, did you want it to?

Did you love him?

I suppose so.

But years ago, after Edinburgh.

Before I met you.

[sniffles] The thing I feel most sad about
is all these photos.

You have hundreds with Dexter,
and you have hardly any with me.

Well, maybe you could take some now.

[scoffs, sniffles]

- f*cking hell, Emma.
- Sorry.

No, it's just you're funnier than me,
and that's... meant to be my career.

You're very talented.

You should do something with it.

- The writing.
- That's meant to be private.

Well, what's the point in that?

Not the poems. They're awful.

But the stories and stuff,
and... [sighs]...the stuff about school.

Those little illustrations.
They are funny.

[sniffles] You should show them
to someone.

Thank you.

[exhales sharply] I should go.

[groans, scoffs]

My legs don't work properly.

[Emma scoffs]

[grunts]

[sniffles]

I miss you so much.

Do you think it'll stop?

I'm sure that it will.

But I can't help.

[sniffles]

Well, you... could just change your mind.

- [grunts, sighs]
- Ah, well.

Well, don't ask, don't get.

I still think
you're the bollocks, Emma Morley.

- No. No, you are.
- No. No, you are.

[chuckles, inhales sharply]

[exhales heavily]

- [bangs]
- [Ian] Ow!

God, are you okay?

Bit of physical comedy there.

- Cor, that's very good.
- Thank you.

[sighs]

- Bye.
- Bye.

[door closes]

[footsteps fade]

[sighs]

[exhales deeply]

[gentle piano music playing]

If I ever get a mobile phone,
you can buy me dinner.

[scoffs]

[Dexter] I give you six months
before you cave.

[keypad beeping]

[music fades]

[sniffles]

[tense music playing]

[line ringing]

[answering machine clicks]

- Hey, it's Tilly.
- And Graham.

[Tilly] We're not here,
so leave a message.

- [answering machine beeps]
- Uh, hi. It's me.

I'm speaking to you
from my brand-new mobile device.

Um, I'm at home.

Of course, I'm on a mobile,
so I could be anywhere.

But no. I'm... I'm at home. Um...

School's out for summer.

Six weeks.

[door opens]

[Emma] Yeah, I get
a whole six weeks of freedom.

Maybe I'll take myself somewhere.

Club Tropicana,
drinks are free. [chuckles]

- [gentle music playing]
- [Emma] Or some sort of cruise.

[chuckles] Um...

Yeah, anyway,
I hope you and Graham are well.

I'll have to come and see you soon,
while I'm free of the school shackles.

Miss you.

- Bye.
- Miss Morley?

[indistinct chatter]

Miss Morley?

Miss Morley?

Miss Morley, is that you?

Oh. Oh my God!

Sonya Richards, hello.

Some boys gave me this to hold,
then ran away. [chuckles]

- How are you?
- I'm all right.

Uh, you're at college.

I'm so pleased. Is it amazing?

- It's great. One more year.
- And then?

- Uh, university, hopefully.
- Wow.

English at Edinburgh.

If they take me.

- Oh, they'd be lucky to have you.
- If I do, it'll be because of you.

Uh, I'd... I'd better...

Well, it's... it's lovely to see you.

[bottles clink in bag]

Just the weekly shop.

[mutters quietly]

[gentle music playing]

[music fades]

[Emma grunts]

["Dreams" by The Cranberries playing]

♪ Oh, my life ♪

♪ Is changing every day ♪

♪ In every possible way ♪

♪ And, oh, my dreams ♪

♪ It's never quite as it seems ♪

♪ Never quite as it seems ♪

♪ I know I felt like this before ♪

♪ But now I'm feeling it even more ♪

♪ Because it came from you ♪

♪ Then I open up and see ♪

♪ The person falling here is me ♪

♪ A different way to be ♪

♪ A totally amazing mind ♪

♪ So understanding and so kind ♪

♪ You're everything to me ♪

[ethereal '90s alternative rock continues]

♪ Oh, my life ♪

♪ Is changing every day ♪

♪ In every possible way ♪

♪ And, oh, my dreams ♪

♪ It's never quite as it seems ♪

♪ 'Cause you're a dream to me ♪

♪ Dream to me ♪

[song ends]