01x01 - Sins of the Fathers

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And may contain
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Abigail Bianchi.

Where the hell are you?

Our case starts in 10 minutes!

sh*t!

Uh... sorry.

Car troubles.

We were supposed
to meet an hour ago.

Five minutes away.

I hired you because you're
supposed to be the best,

- and now you're...
- Sorry! Losing you.

We are about to witness

our justice system at work...

One of the true
cornerstones of democracy.

Mr. Johnson, the clerk has
paged your lawyer twice.

If she isn't here in
two more minutes,

I'm dism...

I'm here.

Sorry I'm late.

No recording devices
in the courtroom, please.

What is wrong with you?

Relax. It's all good.

Uh... ahem.

Your honour, i...

Excuse me.

Are you all right, counsel?

Uh, yeah. Yes.

Your honour, I...

my client has, um...

Suffered a...

deep trauma.

Whoa!

Remove Ms. Bianchi immediately.

Oh, my god, oh, my god,
oh, my god, oh, my god!

The law society's terms
are quite extensive.

You've completed your
three-month suspension

as of yesterday.

Yes.

Did you pay the $3,500 fine?

Yes.

The disciplinary
board also requires

proof of regular
attendance at...

- I know all this.
- A.A. Meetings,

plus random
breathalyzer tests...

- I know.
- And random collection of...

I know!

Urine samples.

And lastly, for the next year,

you can only practice law

under the mentorship
of a senior lawyer.

You're welcome.

Those are the law
society's requirements.

These are mine...

You will take on
only menial tasks.

You will be prompt,

respectful,

and you will be sober.

You will not draw any
unnecessary attention

to yourself or my firm.

If you step out of line,

I will fire you and
you will be disbarred.

Are we done?

Isn't there something
you'd like to say to me first?

Mm, nope. Not
that I can think of.

No other lawyer in
town would touch you.

Not even your own firm.

What do you want me to say?

How about...

"Thank you, dad"?

After 33 years of...

Oh! That is entirely unfair!

Can you hear
what they're saying?

No.

What are you doing?

She's here.

Okay, that only works in movies.

You seen her yet?

Did you read about her
case in the disciplinary digest?

In gory detail, and
watched it on YouTube.

He's making an epic mistake.

She's his daughter. What
else was he supposed to do?

What he's done for decades.

Act like she doesn't exist.

Oh, Daniel!

Ahem!

Everyone, this
is Abigail Bianchi.

Abigail, you remember
Jerri, our office manager.

Ohh!

Last time I saw you,

you were knee-high
to a grasshopper!

Last time I saw you,
you had a beard.

Ahh.

Cecile... working towards
becoming a paralegal.

Actually, sir, it's "Cecil".

And Daniel and Lucy svensson...

Your brother

and sister.

♪ You can't prove it

♪ uh-oh

♪ you got nothing legit

♪ uh-oh

♪ the glove don't fit

♪ uh-oh

♪ you gotta acquit

♪ uh-oh

♪ the charges won't stick 'cos

♪ I ain't no sucker

♪ ain't your lollipop but

♪ you can kiss my sweet

♪ uh-huh

♪ never gonna stop
never gonna stop... ♪

♪ Never gonna stop
never gonna stop ♪

♪ you can't prove it

♪ uh-oh

I am so sorry.

I had no idea Abigail
Bianchi was your sister.

Man...

Harry was prolific.

Three kids from three
different mothers?

Hey...

This means you're not
the oldest kid anymore.

You're the middle
child, like me.

Take this to the drycleaners.

Um, I'm not supposed to
do your personal errands.

So did you draw the short straw,

or are you the firm's
official tour guide?

No, I was... I've actually been

looking forward to meeting
you for a really long time.

Oh. Sure.

Well, Harry does the
bulk of the litigation.

Daniel does
mostly collaborative.

So, not real law.

I... I have office
space across the hall.

You're a psychologist,
is that right?

Mm-hmm.

Grades weren't good
enough to get into law school?

Lucy got her Ph.D.

From Stanford.

Harry paid for you
to go to Stanford?

Uh, there's the kitchen...

Yeah. Until this morning,

it was always stocked
with beer for Fridays at 5:00.

And that's the photocopier.

And here we are, at yours.

We're tight for space.

And your arrival was...

Unexpected.

Family law sourcebook.

For your reading pleasure.

Who's my legal assistant?

Good one.

Lucy?

This young lady
wants to see you.

Says she's your neighbour.

Rosie.

What are you doing here?

You said you did work

for lawyers sometimes,

and I need a lawyer.

What for?

I want to take my mom to court.

So what's up?

You and your mom
seem pretty tight.

We were.

I want to know who my
dad is, and she won't tell me.

Sorry.

My office smells like farts.

So, you don't know
who your dad is?

I know she used a, you know,

donor, but she
won't tell me where

the, you know,
"donation" came from.

Well, even if she
did, a sperm bank...

Sorry, a "you know" bank,

would be under no obligation

to disclose the
identity of the donor.

Donors have
confidentiality rights.

I thought your specialty
was personal injury.

My husband's in family law.

You're a lawyer?

Guilty as charged.

Maybe you could help me.

Maybe we should
take this to my office.

Nah! Let's stay here.

Ahem.

Why has this become
important to you?

We've been doing our
family trees at school,

and one whole side of my
family is just a big, fat blank.

Like, what if I have

some genetic flaw that I
could pass on to my kids?

Or what if I, like, marry
someone who's related to me?

Mm. Like the royal family.

You could have kids
with flat foreheads.

Exactly!

Like, how come I'm left-handed?

And how come I can
sing, but my mom can't?

Mm, your mom needs to
tell you what she knows.

I can't stand my dad, but
at least I know who he is.

Thank you, Abigail.

I can see how
difficult this is for you.

Maybe, as a next step,

I can try talking to your mom.

That would be awesome.

And you could come, too.

Abigail has a lot of work to do.

Nope. No, I don't.

Count me in.

I want full custody.
End of story.

That is ridiculous,
and you know it.

Know what else is ridiculous?

You having sex
with my best friend!

Okay. Okay.

I understand emotions
are running high,

but we agreed that, if I
was to arbitrate for you,

you needed to put Craig first.

Which is why I
want full custody.

Craig has a lot
of special needs.

He does not!

You've just projected your
own insecurities onto him.

He is so much more
relaxed when he's with me.

Right, craigy? Boy?

Right, Craig?

Look at mommy.

Boy. Craig!

- Hey.
- Craig.

I just don't understand

why it's so important
to her all of a sudden.

Jeanette, Rosie's 13.

This is all about her
finding her identity.

It's not something
that's going to go away.

If anything, the feelings
are only gonna intensify.

It's just...

It's embarrassing.

No one's judging you, Jeanette.

I always wanted kids,

and when I turned


I went to a sperm bank,

but it was more
than I could afford,

so I put an ad on craigslist.

Are you serious?

Abigail, please.

No judgment.

I offered $100, a lot
of guys responded.

Most of them were creeps.

Yeah, duh.

But there was this one
guy who sounded nice.

We met up, one
thing led to another,

and I wound up getting
pregnant the conventional way.

But it was just one night.

When I woke up, he was gone.

I never even had a
chance to pay him,

and I never saw him again.

Did you get a name?

Mark. That's all.

He worked in construction.

Why not share this
story with Rosie?

She can handle it.

Did Mark have any
defining features?

He was tall.

Nice smile.

He had a tattoo
on his forearm...

A tortoise.

Said it reminded him that
"slow and steady wins the race."

Well, I can find him.

Easy-peasy.

You shouldn't get
their hopes up like that.

It's all good.

I know a guy who can track
him down in a nanosecond.

Well, even if you do find him,

what if he wants
nothing to do with Rosie?

Or what if he's a jerk?

Well, then she'll learn a
valuable lesson early on...

Men are disappointments.

Do you really hate
dad that much?

I don't hate him.

I have no feelings
for him whatsoever.

When did he...

walk out on us without
a backward glance,

after he'd knocked
up Daniel's mom?

When I was seven.

That must've been really hard.

I guess he learned some
lessons by the time he had me.

Dad raised me on his
own when mom d*ed.

Well... Dad and
a full-time nanny.

How old were you
when she passed away?

Eight.

He would've left her, too.

If your mom hadn't d*ed.

He would've left her, too.

Bitch.

How was your
first day at school?

Ha, ha.

Okay... dish.

How old does your father look?

Fine. Old.

Older than me?

By a decade.

I always told him,
"stay out of the sun,"

but would he listen?

Mom, do you have to?

Sorry, darling.

My house, my rules.

What about your
rainbow-coloured siblings?

Uh, seriously, mom?

Not exactly a warm
and fuzzy reunion.

They don't want me there.

I don't want me there either.

So you made a mistake.

We all do.

Look at me, I
married your father.

You'll get through this.

You're a fighter,

like your mother.

Oh. Okay, make yourself scarce.

I don't want to have to explain
my 40-year-old boomerang kid

on a first date.

Go, hurry up. Now.

Okay.

You'll never guess
what happened at school today.

Mm...

A meteor fell from the sky
and crushed your principal?

No. We played baseball in
gym, and I wasn't picked last.

Just third-last.

Wow. Nico, way to go.

Yeah, that's progress.

Hey, um, can I
talk to your sister?

Sofia, it's mom.

Tell her I'm not here.

But she knows you're here.

Don't care.

Sofia's not here.

Okay.

Well, if you see her,
tell her I love her.

Almost as much as I love you.

I love you, too, mom.

Please come home soon.

I'll do my best, kiddo.

I'm gonna see you Wednesday.

Okay?

See you.

Bye.

It wasn't until I had passed out

while I was looking
after my grandson

that I realized I needed help.

I've been one year sober now

and my daughter

is finally starting to
trust me with him again.

Abigail?

Would you like to share?

I'm good.

Hi.

Uh, my name is Abigail.

Hi, Abigail.

And I'm a...

schm-alcoholic.

Did you just say
"schm-alcoholic"?

What? No.

Uh, this is a no-phone zone.

Sorry. Excuse me.

Uh, um...

Hi.

Great.

East Hastings?

You're a peach, Eli.

Hi. My name's Zoey.
I'm an alcoholic.

Normally, I never
remember who gets what,

and sure as hell not
from 14 years ago,

but that was the first
and last tortoise I inked.

And the guy left an impression.

How so?

Am I glimpsing
a tattoo on your...

How so?

Uh, he paid in trade.

Built me a nice little shed.

You know, after your guy called,

I dug out my records.

Question is...

What are you gonna
give me in exchange?

I did my own research
before I came in.

One of your clients

is pursuing legal
action against you

because instead of giving
her a "proud vegetarian" tattoo,

you inked "proud vagetarian."

What's it to ya?

You hear about
that guy last year

who spilled hot coffee
in his lap while driving?

And texting?

And trying to pull the
lid off with his teeth?

Yeah, the moron sued
and got, like, millions.

I was that moron's lawyer.

Should you need it,

I'll give you one
hour of legal advice.

Hmm.

Pro bono.

Thank you.

Abby!

Abby, this is a terrible idea.

Why? I just wanna tell
him the happy news.

It's an ambush.

Why don't we set a
meeting up at the office?

Where's the fun in that?

So it goes a little
Jerry springer,

so what?

I can't believe you found him.

He still works construction?

Uh, you could say that.

That would be "Mark Bridger."

Oh, my god. That's him.

Wait here.

Mark Bridger?

Can I help you?

My name is Abigail Bianchi.

I'm a lawyer.

You answered my client's
ad about 14 years ago,

on craigslist.

Your, uh...

"Donation" yielded results.

Congratulations.

You're a father.

Uh, can you excuse me a moment?

You ambushed Mark Bridger?

I did not ambush him, okay?

That's little miss tattle-tale's
dramatic overstatement

of the facts.

Maybe stunts like that
worked at your old firm.

Would everybody just relax?

Jeanette and Rosie
aren't even clients.

I merely did them a favour.

Jeanette may not
be paying the firm,

but you definitely
gave the impression

to them and Mark Bridger

that you're their lawyer.

I bet you were real
popular in school.

Your brother
and sister are right.

A guy like Bridger wields
a lot of influence in this city.

Although, heh, I'd
have paid good money

to see him do a runner
when you told him the news.

Almost did the same when
your mom said she was pregnant.

Which mom?

All of them.

Could someone
please explain that?

Arbitration I'm doing.

Until we come up with
a custody arrangement,

they want Craig to
stay with a neutral party.

"Custody"?

Dogs are not people,
Daniel. They're property.

Try telling them that.

Mark Bridger's here to see you.

Oh, give me


I'll see him in the boardroom.

Actually, he requested Abigail.

Oh.

Mr. Bridger, Harry svensson.

I-I want to apologize

for the behavior
of our new, um...

Junior associate.

I'm the one who
should apologize.

I shouldn't have
taken off like that.

The news was...

Overwhelming.

I didn't think children
were in the cards, so...

To find out I have a daughter...

If she's willing,
I'd like to meet her.

Oh, I'm sure that
can be arranged.

Isn't that right, Abigail?

Absolutely, Harry.

You didn't really need to come.

After seeing how you
operate, I felt I really did.

Hi, Rosie.

Hi.

Hello, Mark.

Uh... this is Yvonne. My wife.

Yvonne, this is Rosie.

Delighted to meet you, Rosie.

It's nice to meet you, too.

And you must be Jeanette.

Mark and I haven't been
blessed with children of our own.

To find out I have a daughter...

It's a gift.

- She has your eyes.
- Yeah.

Do you like chocolate-chip
cookies, too?

Do I!

Uh, three milkshakes to start,

please, one vanilla,
two chocolate.

Mom!

Nico!

Hey.

Hey, guess what I learned today.

- What?
- I bet you didn't know

that female praying
mantises eat their mates.

I did not know that,

but I am delighted,

mildly perturbed to find out.

So dad says you're
working for your dad now.

Uh, temporarily, yes.

But you said your dad was dead.

Um, no. I didn't say that.

What I said was,
he was dead to me.

So, if he's your dad, that
makes him my grandpa.

Biologically speaking, yes.

Sweetpea, where's Sofia?

She said she had
too much homework.

She did, did she?

Well, lucky duck, it looks
like you're gonna have to finish

two milkshakes.

Why don't you get started
and I'm gonna be right back?

Okay?

I have a right to
see my daughter.

I agree, and I did my best,

but I can't force her to come.

Yes, you can!

I hardly get to
see them as it is,

thanks to you.

No, Abby. Thanks to you.

Don't you pin all
this on me, frank.

I'm not the one who cheated.

Hanging up now.

You're lucky I'm
not a praying mantis!

Jeanette gyurkovich
is here to see you.

Do you have a moment?

I got nothing but moments.

How you doing?

I've, uh, been better.

You?

Eleanor and I just celebrated
our 30th wedding anniversary.

Congratulations.

My point is...

If our marriage
could survive this...

Yours can weather the
storm, too, if you work at it.

You, I've missed.

Conference table.

Thank you.

How are things with
Rosie and Mark?

And Yvonne.

Don't forget Yvonne.

Great.

Fabulously, wonderfully great.

You're feeling like
the third wheel?

I know that I should
be happy for Rosie.

But, yesterday,

they bought her a
brand-new iPhone.

And Yvonne took her
shopping for new clothes

without even asking me.

She must have spent $1,000.

I wish that I could
buy her stuff like that.

But you could never afford it.

On my salary?

Not in a million years.

And then...

Last night,

Rosie announces

that Mark and Yvonne

are giving her her own
room in their house,

and she wants to stay
there every other week.

You feel like you're
losing your daughter.

When you were the one who
was up with her every night

when she was a baby,

who took care of her
through every illness,

every scraped knee...

Who went to every soccer
game in the pouring rain...

She doesn't play soccer.

Work with me here.

What I'm saying is,
you're her mother.

And Mark and his wife

swoop in and act like
they can take over,

like you're not a vital
part of your kids' lives.

"Kid." singular.

Where does that leave you?

Yes.

I know you don't want
me taking on cases yet.

Correct.

But I think I've got a good one.

One that could generate
some decent income for the firm.

Proceed.

I want to sue Mark Bridger...

For 13 years of
retroactive child support.

I've given it a lot of thought.

It's not a good idea.

Why? Why is it not a good idea?

Because you could ruin

a relationship
that's just started.

It's a fragile
emotional situation.

"Blah, blah, blah, emotions."

Let the lawyers talk law
for a moment, will you?

You are a textbook bully.

"Bully"?

What are we, in kindergarten?

Stop it.

You're all acting like
you're in kindergarten.

Abigail,

why do you want
to go this route?

First of all,

there are precedents.

A lesbian couple in the U.S.

Used a sperm donor
they found online.

They split up when
the child was small.

The biological mom
applied for social assistance.

When the state found
out she'd used a donor,

they sued him.

He was forced to
pay child support

so the state wouldn't have to.

Did Bridger sign any
paperwork all those years ago?

Anything that absolves
him of financial obligations?

Nope. Nothing.

Mark Bridger has deep pockets

and Jeanette has nothing.

We have a moral
obligation to represent her.

Can we at least not pretend

that this has anything
to do with your morals?

Daniel, what do you think?

If we move forward with this,

balls will shrivel
around the nation.

But... The law's on our side.

This could also make
the firm a lot of money.

We treat this like a
personal injury case.

She can give us 33% of
the settlement I get for her.

What you get for her?

No. No, Harry or I will
take the lead on this.

No, you will not.

This is my case.

You're on probation.
You don't know family law.

A monkey could do family
law. Craig could do family law.

- Forget it!
- I can do this.

I'll be lead counsel.

You'll be my junior.

She knows the
backstory better than you.

You do all the work,

I do all the talking in court.

Cecil, take Craig out for a pee.

I'm really more of a cat person.

Cecil!

I don't know what
I expected with Abby,

but it wasn't this.

I mean, I knew it wasn't gonna
be sunshine and rainbows,

but I didn't think she'd
be such a colossal bitch.

You said it, not me.

She's a ticking timebomb,

and if she goes off around
us, we will be collateral damage.

I don't know what the hell
dad expected would happen,

just dropping her
in our lives like this.

Yeah.

To think, when I was little,
I always wanted a sister.

Now I'm just counting down
the hours till the weekend

so I don't have to see her face.

Mm-hmm.

Remove Ms.
Bianchi immediately.

Oh, my god, oh, my god,

oh, my god, oh, my god,
oh, my god, oh, my god!

Yoo-hoo, I'm home.

Ugh, that man.

Patchouli oil

is not a replacement
for deodorant.

And he had food
stuck in his beard.

Oh, it was like a squirrel
storing snacks for the winter.

Why'd you go out with him?

Because he owns an island.

Right, you're in court tomorrow.

Honey, I'm sure
it's like riding a bike.

Yeah, except the
last time I rode a bike,

I puked all over my client.

Oh.

Good morning.

Shall we?

After you.

- Good morning.
- Hi.

This was your plan
all along, wasn't it?

Find me, lure me in,

- make me pay.
- That's not true.

Take your
seat, Mr. Bridger.

You shouldn't be talking to
us without your lawyer present.

Oh, my lawyer will
be here very soon.

I found a good one.

In fact, strange coincidence...

He has the same
last name as you.

Is this going to be a problem?

Do you know him?

You could say that.

He's my husband.

♪ Uh-oh

What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

Bridger hired me.

Yeah, to get back at me!

Abigail, sit down.

All rise for judge fraiberg.

When you answered

Ms. Gyurkovich's
ad on craigslist,

was it clear she simply
wanted a sperm donor?

Yes, it was.

In fact, it read...

"Sperm donor wanted.

Must be healthy,
educated, and fit.

Will pay $100.

Donor will have no financial
or parental obligations."

Madame justice,

my colleague and his
client are simply trying

to cash in on my
client's new-found wealth.

Counsel rests.

Mark Bridger,

when did you become a father?

Two weeks ago.

No.

You became a father the
moment Rosie was born.

Objection.

He had no idea he was a father.

Overruled.

When you and Ms. Gyurkovich
had sexual intercourse,

you knew she wanted
to get pregnant.

The ad said "no
financial obligations".

It also said "no
parental obligations,"

yet here you are,

spending all this time
with your daughter.

And Jeanette isn't stopping you.

In fact,

she understands
it's a good thing

for her daughter to have a
relationship with her father.

And I'm grateful for that.

And yet your gratitude

doesn't extend to
your pocketbook.

Don't you think Jeanette
deserves something

for raising your child
after all these years?

You think you can
just waltz in now

and have everything
be on your terms?

Objection, your honour.

My colleague is reducing
this very complex issue

to nothing more than money.

Mr. Bianchi, of course,
it's about money.

It's a child-support
application.

Proceed.

There is a huge
financial disparity

between the mother
and the father in this case.

And even if we put that aside,

being a parent comes
with responsibilities.

Mr. Bridger,

I know you want a place
in your daughter's life,

and I commend you for that.

I was estranged from my
father for over 30 years.

He was a lousy parent,

an emotionally-stunted and
unavailable human being.

Objection.

But he still managed to send
my mom a cheque every month.

My colleague is bringing

her own emotional
baggage into this.

Sustained.

Really, Ms. Bianchi?

Stick to the facts.

Fine. The facts...

Mark Bridger became
a dad 13 years ago,

so therefore he owes my
client 13 years of child support.

Please. You can only
go back three years

from the date the
support was requested.

This is a well-known
principle of family law,

which my colleague
would be aware of

if she were, in
fact, a family lawyer.

I think we can all agree

that these are completely unique
circumstances, your honour.

Based on Mark
Bridger's financial records,

and the child-support
guidelines,

he would owe

approximately $3,200 per month,

for a total of $499,200.

But we're willing to
round it down to $499,000.

I'll have my decision tomorrow.

We will reconvene then.

Why is there a child
in my courtroom?

Adjourned.

With the exception

of your blatant
disregard for my authority

and wholly improper asides,

good work.

How are you feeling?

Honestly? Kind of queasy.

Why are you doing this?

I don't care about
the money and stuff.

I just want to know my dad

and you're gonna
wreck everything!

Rosie, try to understand.

I hate you!

Another feel-good moment

brought to you
by Abigail Bianchi.

Please. I did my job.

It was fascinating,
watching you in there.

Getting all pumped
up on endorphins

by your own performance...

And completely missing the
point that this isn't about you.

You know, just because
your life's a sh*t show,

doesn't mean you should

turn other people's
lives into sh*t shows, too.

Thanks for agreeing to meet.

So...

Working with your dad...

Working for my dad, actually.

A small, but significant
prepositional difference.

How's it, uh, been so far?

Oh, it's like having
bamboo sh**t

stuck up my fingernails.

You look good.

I know.

I miss you.

I miss the kids.

I'd really like to come home.

Not yet, Abby.

Well, at least

let me see Nico and Sofia
more than twice a week.

I need to know

that you're serious
about getting well.

I did my stint in rehab.

I'm seeing a therapist.

I'm going to the a.A. Meetings.

Are you going because you
understand you need help?

Or because the law society
gave you no other choice?

None of this would've happened

if you hadn't kicked
me out of the house

the night before I was
supposed to go to court.

Your drinking took
over our marriage.

Oh, you can't
pin all this on me.

If you hadn't had an affair

with a woman named Felicity...

My god, that was one
night at a conference,

and I told you a million times,
I didn't mean for it to happen.

Oh, no, you slipped, right?

And your penis... mmph!
Landed in her vag*na.

Abby...

Your drinking was a
problem years before that.

I deeply regret what I did,

but it was a symptom,

not the cause.

The kids are supposed
to come to my mom's

for dinner tomorrow night.

"Kids."

Plural.

I'll do what I can.

I promise.

You, uh... you wanted
to talk about the case?

Uh, Harry's delighted.

He thinks it's gonna generate
a lot of money for the firm.

He may not be wrong.

The thing is,

I can't stop
thinking about Sofia.

She'll barely speak to me
because of the mess I've made.

I feel like

I'm doing the same thing
to Rosie and Jeanette.

I want to run something by you.

So I've had
time to review everything,

and I've reached my decision.

Permission to address the court?

Proceed.

Our clients have
reached a compromise.

We've agreed on the
terms of a consent order,

subject to your approval.

Hmm.

Mr. Bridger has
agreed to pay $50,000

in retroactive child support,

payable on terms,

as well as to pay child
support from now on.

And Ms. Gyurkovich has
agreed to a parenting plan,

so that my client
and his daughter

can continue to
foster their relationship.

We'll attach it to
the consent order.

Both parties are happy
with this arrangement?

That sounds like a
reasonable compromise.

I'll make the order.

Adjourned.

Ms. Bianchi?

Can you approach
the bench, please?

Nicely done.

Thank you.

But, for the record...

This is a small world,

it's a world in
which your father

is well-respected
and well-loved.

He gave you a second chance,
missy, when no one else would,

so if you speak of him again

in court, the way
you did the other day,

I will find you in contempt.

That's all.

Where's Craig?

We came up with a temporary
shared-custody agreement.

Mm.

I kind of miss him.

He was the only living
creature in this place

who didn't think I was a, um,

what were the words again?

Oh, yeah... "colossal bitch".

You could've made this
firm well over $100,000.

Instead,

you made us the equivalent
of a tuna sandwich.

What a d*ck, am I right?

I should go.

Maggie's making dinner.

Danielle and I have spin class.

I'm here under duress.

Dad threatened to
take away her phone

for the weekend
if she didn't come.

Did you really do that?

I did.

You monster.

I'll pick them up at 9:00?

Sofia, I got your favourite...

Sushi platter.

Well, it's more like
a salmonella platter

at this point, but who cares?

- Not me.
- I'm not hungry.

I think I'll just go to the den
and do some of my homework.

You will not!

You will sit. You will eat.

You will do your
best to be pleasant,

because if there's one thing
you'll learn as you get older,

it's that we're all a
bunch of screw-ups.

♪ I'm the blade

♪ you're the Kn*fe

okay, so tell me everything.

Sofia,

if you could k*ll one
girl at your school,

who would it be?

Mom.

It's the one girl after school
that I always talk about.

Oh, forget about her!

She's got this ponytail.

She wears lipstick
and eyeshadow...

♪ ...in a world
that wasn't mine ♪

♪ to take

♪ I'll wait

♪ is this my life?

♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah...

♪ Am I breathing underwater? ♪

♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah...

♪ Am I breathing

♪ underwater?

♪ Am I breathing

♪ underwater?