01x05 - Episode 5

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Monsieur Spade". Aired: January 14, 2024 – present.*
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The year is 1963, and the legendary Detective Sam Spade is enjoying his retirement in the South of France.
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01x05 - Episode 5

Post by bunniefuu »

His partner didn't escape. I let him go.

I didn't see much point
in hanging onto him.

The same way there wasn't much point

when I saw you this morning

and telling me that two men
had tried to kidnap Teresa?

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

Did someone get lost?

Apparently so.

[BOTH SPEAKING FRENCH]

[WHISTLING TUNE]

[GRASS RUSTLING]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[PHILIPPE WHISTLES
"COLONEL BOGEY MARCH"]



[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[DISTANT expl*si*n BOOMS]

[WHISTLING]

[URINE SPLASHING]

[WHISTLING CONTINUES]

[DISTANT expl*si*n BOOMS]

[ZIPPER RASPS]

[DISTANT expl*si*n BOOMS]

[EXPLOSIONS BOOMING]

[FLY BUZZING, BIRDS CHIRPING]

[GRASS RUSTLING]

[WHISTLING "COLONEL BOGEY MARCH"]



[r*fle CLACKING]

[WHISTLING CONTINUES]

[r*fle THUMPS]

[BIPOD CLICKING]

[SCOPE RATCHETS]

[WHISTLING CONTINUES]

[BOLT CLICKS]

[WHISTLING CONTINUES]



[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[DISTANT EXPLOSIONS BOOM]

[g*nsh*t BLASTS]

[EXPLOSIONS BOOM]

[EQUIPMENT RUSTLING, GRASS RUSTLING]

[WHISTLING]

[FLY BUZZING]

[r*fle CLATTERS]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[CHOMPS]

Mmm.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[CONVERSING IN FRENCH]

[PAPER RUSTLES]

Huh?

[CHOMPING]

[SIGHS]

[EQUIPMENT RUSTLES]

[GRASS RUSTLING]

[expl*si*n RUMBLES]

[SIGHS]

[CHURCH BELL TOLLING]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]

[TOLLING CONTINUES]



[SPEAKING FRENCH]



[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]

[HEELS CLICKING]







[p*stol CLICKS]

[SHARP THUD] [GASPS, GROANS]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[THUD] [GASPS]

[HANDBAG RUSTLES]

[SIGHS]

[HEELS CLICKING]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]





[DOOR CREAKS]



[DOOR CLOSES]



[DOOR-RAPPING "COLONEL BOGEY MARCH"]

[PHILIPPE SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SIGHS]

[DOOR OPENS]



[PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY OUTSIDE]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[DIAL TONE]

[TELEPHONE CLATTERS]

[SIGHS]

- [SIGHS]
- [WINE SLOSHES]

[BREATHES SHARPLY]

- [BANDAGE RIPS]
- [BREATHES SHARPLY]

[BREATHES SHARPLY, SIGHS]

[BREATHES SHARPLY]

[GROANS]

[SPEAKING ARABIC]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING ARABIC]

[SPEAKING ARABIC]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[BREATHES SHARPLY, GASPS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]



[BREATHES SHARPLY, GASPS]

Psst!

[CHUCKLES]

[CURTAIN CLATTERS]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Anybody needs me, I'll be in the pool.

No, you won't. Basam
drained all the water out.

- What?
- He's out there right now

scrubbing the plaster
with some smelly chemical.

What the hell for?

Something about dead
bodies and bad juju.

[SIGHS]

Hi.

Good morning, Henri.

Can I fix you some breakfast?

No, no, no, thank you. I'm
just retracing my steps.

- I lost my notebook.
- You mean the little black book

with the names of all your girlfriends?

[SIGHS] It's brown.

Do you remember the
last time you had it?

The other day when the
body was, you know...

f*cking up my pool.

- Have you seen it?
- No.

TERESA: Did you write your name inside?

HENRI: No.Next time you really should.

Yes, good idea. I will.

You know, I can write
your name in for you...

since your handwriting
is a bit slipshod.

Really? You'd do that?

Of course.

How about later we go into town,

and I'll help you pick out a new one?

- That sounds lovely.
- Okay, how about the two of you

get the f*ck out of here
before I chuck my breakfast?

Someone's in a mood because
they can't swim in their piscine.

Bye-bye. Au revoir. A bientôt.

Let me just go up and change.

I certainly can't go
in my pajamas, can I?

[VACUUM WHIRRING]

[VACUUM POWERS DOWN]

TERESA: Just wait here.
I'll be two minutes.

HENRI: Great.

Yeah. I already know
what I'm gonna wear.

[FOOTSTEPS THUMPING]

[LAUGHS] I can't wait.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

It's not her I'm worried about.

If only that were enough.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]



[PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

[CHICKENS SQUAWKING]

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

[PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

[BOTTLES CLINKING]

[PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

Mademoiselle.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

- Merci.
- Merci.





[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]





[GENTLE CLASSICAL GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS]













[WATER SPLASHING]

[FAUCET SQUEAKS]



[TOWEL RUSTLES]

[BATHROBE RUSTLES]

[INSECT SHUFFLING]

[CHUCKLES]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[DRAWER SCRAPING]

[KEYS JINGLE]

[KEYS JINGLE]

[DOOR OPENS]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

Oui.

[CURTAIN SWOOSHES]

[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]

[TELEPHONE BUZZES]

[TELEPHONE CLATTERS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[KEY CLATTERS]

[BELL DINGING]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]



[CLOCK TICKING]





[PICTURE FRAME CLATTERS]



[Kn*fe CLICKS]



[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]



[VACUUM WHIRRING]



[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]



[VACUUM WHIRRING]



[VACUUM POWERS DOWN]

[PAINTING RIPPING]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]



[DIAL CLATTERS]

Patrice. It's Spade.

I found the kid.

Don't ask me how.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

You got a pen? Write this down.

Just past the abandoned train station,

there's that dirt track
that goes into the woods.

Take the car as far as you can

and then walk to the lake.

I'll meet you at the boat ramp.

Oh, and, uh, Patrice, bring a g*n.

Philippe could be somewhere hiding.

[TELEPHONE CLATTERS]

[VEHICLE RUMBLING]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]



[BIRDS CHIRPING]



[DOOR BANGS AND CLATTERS]

[CHAIN CLATTERS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]



[DRAMATIC MUSIC SOFTENS]



[PIGEONS COOING]



[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]





[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]





[OBJECT RATTLES]

Oh, dear.

Well, this is indeed embarrassing.

I saw two of you in the car.

You thought you did.

We only pretend to be idiots.

You do a great job.

Still, you had your suspicions.

I had my somethings.

So, what are you... MI5, MI6?

Tomato, to-mah-to.

So...

You mind putting that down?

Hmm. Sorry.

[a* WHOOSHES AND THUDS]

So...

just to clarify,

you move in next door, you bug my house.

I'm guessing you're not
trying to steal the secrets

to my superb wine.

- Mildly superb, I'm afraid.
- Philippe?

He's not all that superb either.

- The kid?
- Getting warmer.

Why would I know anything about him?

- Colder.
- Teresa?

Ding, ding, ding.

Why would she know anything about him?

Our work relies less on
knowledge than proximity.

Sister Angelique?

Imagine our surprise.

We follow one of the
kidnappers to a convent.

She doesn't have the child in question.

Isn't actually a nun. So
what is she doing there?

Communing with Jesus?

Taking a well-earned
break from fornicating?

Waiting. Watching.

Doing what we would do in her situation.

But, again, why there?

So we look at who's in residence.

We start with the good sisters.

But outside the Mother Superior,

whom, I must admit, has a rather
colorful background for a nun...

You haven't met some of the nuns I have.

Alas, none of them
revealed any connection

to our Algerian wayfarer.

So next we look at the children.

And we discover one young
lass who's a bit different

- from the others.
- That's an understatement.

One young lass whose
mother was an American,

a convicted m*rder*r
and antiquities thief,

and whose father is an officer

in the French Army intelligence service

- and just so happens to be...
- f*cking sociopath.

The other kidnapper.

Oh, sure. That, too.

Naturally, we became
very interested in her.

You wanna recruit her,

I'm sure she'd jump at the chance.

As well as the shadowy man

we observed delivering
envelopes full of cash

to the convent each week.

Nothing shadowy about it.

I was just doing what I was paid to do,

which is to make sure that
young lass was taken care of.

A little above and
beyond, don't you think?

Or is your karmic debt
really that substantial?

You're the spy.

Let's just say your
time in San Francisco

made for its own colorful reading.

Then you'll know that I
don't want any part of this.

A little late for that, don't you think?

In my experience, a little late
usually refers to a lot dead.

So no, I'm happy to step aside.

Well, as they say in Hackney,

in for a penny, in for a pound of flesh.

The flesh in this case being the boy.

You've seen his work, I presume?

The numbers.

Is that all you think they are?

I don't care what they are,

not after I come home
and find a dead soldier

clogging my pool filter.

And somehow the problem found you.

And now I want it to lose me.

I want you and Mummy to stop
popping up in the vineyard.

And I want Teresa left alone

before she gets sh*t
by someone's bad aim.

Understood?

You are being exceptionally clear.

Good. Very good.

Now if you'll excuse
me, I'm going for a swim.

- [GROANS]
- [BODY THUMPS]

[GRUNTS]

[GASPS]

I gathered from all that
"okay, good, very good"

that you grasped your current situation.

That is the second time in two days

that some f*cking assh*le
got the drop on me.

"The drop." So bloody colorful.

That was tae kwon do.

I spent some time in Korea, the North.

Okay, well done... I guess.

- Hm!
- [THUDS]

What's your rush, dear fellow?

Join us for tea, won't you?

["DIS, QUAND REVIENDRAS-TU"
BY BARBARA PLAYS]







[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]





[WIND BLOWING SOFTLY]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]



[KNOCKS SOFTLY]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]



[KNOCKS SOFTLY]



Mr. Spade?



[TERESA SPEAKING FRENCH]

[WIND BLOWING SOFTLY]

The nanny snuck off with
the boy three years ago.

She worked for an Egyptian family

whenever they'd visit Algeria.

Mind you, this is a very
large, very wealthy family,

with business interests
around the world,

and yet there has been
not a noise, nor a sound,

nor hint from them about one of
their children being abducted.

- Maybe he wasn't one of theirs.
- He wasn't.

From what we can glean, the
boy had been passed around

from one high-ranking family to another,

since the day he was born.

Two years ago, we received
word out of Tunisia

that an Algerian woman was attempting

to sell a child of
great import. Digestive?

An adoption was arranged in
Britain with a Saudi national,

but something went amiss.

The woman never showed up, and
the child disappeared again.

A full year would pass before there was

another sighting of him...
this time in Algeria.

No better place to hide
than in the middle of a w*r.

Which meant the stakes had risen

to an entirely new level of intensity.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

I know her.

You knew her sister...

the nanny, Angelique, the
woman pretending to be a nun.

This woman goes by Gazala.

- The uniform?
- FLN.

She's fairly high up the
chain in the rebel army.

We think the kidnapping was her idea.

We're not exactly certain why.

Perhaps to raise money for her comrades,

or in exchange for some POWs.

Why would the French agree to that?

Because they want the boy
as badly as everyone else.

Because of the numbers thing?

Well, we have come to

the proverbial fork
in the road, Mr. Spade.

- Have we?
- Yes.

Whether to reveal all that we know...

... or simply finish our tea.

Meaning...

can we trust you?

As far as it goes, and with
the usual provisos and caveats,

but you know that.

Simply put, the boy can break codes.

Any code, instantly.

He's also able to create
his own unique cryptograms,

what you call "scribblings."

Now I'm calling it bullshit.

Not according to
Tzedek, the CIA, the KGB,

and, of course, our
chief, back in London.

- You left out the Church.
- Hm, which one?

Name a religion, they
all want the child.

- Start with Rome.
- Yeah, those wretched cardinals.

They believe Zayd can prove the
existence of God mathematically,

and they would, of
course, prefer their god

to be the one the
lad's numbers add up to.

- You don't say.
- Some Shiite scholars...

have come to the
conclusion that the boy is

[CLICKS TONGUE] the Mahdi,
a spirit close to Allah,

who can disappear and
reappear whenever he chooses.

Evidently, this
particular Mahdi's arrival

could announce the end of times.

Of course, the Sunni ulamas

believe the child has come to Earth

to restore the purity of the faith.

And whilst we all wish him good luck,

we're fearful some in the
FLN plan to m*rder him.

Not particularly religious, I guess.

No. For the FLN,

a martyr of any stripe
could come in handy.

Nothing like getting everyone's anger

pointed in the same direction.

Exactly, and until now,
there've been so many factions

sh**ting at one another,
including the OAS in the middle,

sh**ting at everybody, that
some sort of divine casualty

could unify the country
faster than any b*llet.

The fact is, Mr. Spade,

that whatever gifts
this child may possess

can be used as evidence that
he may very well be the one

for whom so many have waited.

"May very well be" is
a long way from "is."

Why would anyone believe this hokum?

I mean, the world's gullible,
but not that gullible.

[CHUCKLES] Many thousands of years

of human history to the contrary,

or perhaps I've missed the
moment when humans began

parsing the difference
between knowing and believing.

Neither of which are
necessary when creating a myth,

which is exactly what
some Algerians hope

to create around this child,

one that could, amongst other things,

thwart Morocco's
border grab to the West.

So far, I've heard a lot about Sunnis,

and Shiites, and Moroccans,

but neither of you have
mentioned Philippe Saint-Andre.

How has he found his way
into the middle of all this?

[CHUCKLES] That one's easy. Her.

I imagine Sergeant Saint-Andre
forgot all about his orders

to terminate a high-level FLN assassin,

when he saw this beautiful
face in his crosshairs.

Aren't you forgetting that the one thing

Philippe Saint-Andre loves more

- than a beautiful face is money?
- [CHUCKLES]

Most assuredly, the FLN
are paying him very well.

Oh, I'm sure they think
they are, but if I'm Philippe

and I know that this kid is
on the top of the wish list

for every rebel, spook, and priest,

I'm thinking it's a seller's market.

I can make a lot more

by offloading him to the highest bidder.

And that's what's happening.

Of course, he has the
problem with Gazala.

Again, if I'm Philippe, a
b*llet solves that problem.

GEORGE: Not this time.

No one has actually seen the child.

No photos of him exist.

Gazala is the only one who
can authenticate his identity

to a potential buyer.

So Philippe needs her.

One assumes that each believes

they have a deal with the other,

and one can also assume

that each has a plan to k*ll
the other once the deed is done.

Either way, you can
understand our urgency

behind removing this
child from such danger.

Sure, so he can break codes for you

instead of anyone else.

Tomato, to-mah-to.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, this has all
been very enlightening.

I'm afraid we can't let you go.

I wasn't asking for permission.

My dear Mr. Spade,
please, don't take offense,

but despite your stellar past,

these many years in Bozouls

have left you both impetuous and clumsy.

Therefore, we cannot
allow you to jeopardize

what has been over two years
of meticulous tradecraft.

And I can't allow you to...

The "Kato" thing worked once.

I propose a relationship.

[VEHICLE APPROACHES]

[VEHICLE HORN HONKS]

[ENGINE REVVING LOUDLY]

[ENGINE CONTINUES REVVING LOUDLY]

[LOUD CLATTER]

[CAR CREAKS]

Hold that thought.

[VEHICLE DOOR CLICKS OPEN]

[BOTH GRUNT SOFTLY,
VEHICLE DOOR SLAMS SHUT]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

- Okay, don't be mad. We need to...
- Are they moving?

- What?
- Are they pointing a g*n, anything like that?

No, they're just standing there.

Good.

- I'll drive.
- [SCOFFS]

Don't pout.

That George guy, does he
look like he knows kung fu?

Kung fu?

- No.
- Yeah.



I didn't think so either.

[ENGINE STARTS]

That little bitch.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]





[MARGUERITE SPEAKING FRENCH]

Hmm?

[GRUNTS]

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SIGHS]

[GULPS LOUDLY]

[WOMAN SINGING IN FRENCH IN DISTANCE]



Marguerite?



[DISTANT TRAFFIC HUMMING]

[WOMAN CONTINUES SINGING]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]









[SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO]

[LIGHTER CLICKS]

[SOFT JAZZ MUSIC CONTINUES]

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS IN DISTANCE]

[DISTANT FOOTSTEPS CLICKING]

["I CAN'T GET STARTED" BY
LESTER YOUNG PLAYS ON RADIO]





[GLASSES CLINK]



[PHILIPPE SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

Mm.

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES UNDER BREATH]

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]

[DISTANT SIRENS WAILING]

[DOGS BARKING]

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES]



[BARKING CONTINUES]



[g*n CLICKS SOFTLY]

[BARKING CONTINUES]

[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]



[DISTANT BABY CRYING]



[CRYING CONTINUES]







[CRYING CONTINUES]



[MUFFLED COUGH]



[WHEEZING SOFTLY]



[DOOR CREAKS]

[DOOR BANGS]

[DOOR CREAKS]



[LIGHTER CLICKS]





[DOOR CLICKS SHUT SOFTLY]

[g*n COCKS]



[DOOR CREAKS]





[COUGHING]



[LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS]



[CAR DOOR OPENS]

[CAR DOOR SLAMS]

What's in there?

Nothing. The place is empty.

- But Claude said...
- It's a dead end.

[TERESA SIGHS]

Should we get a drink?

Really?

Just one, a very small one.

We're going to a bar?

That's where the drinks are.

- Can I smoke?
- No.

- Can I drive?
- Definitely not.

[KEYS JINGLE]

[ENGINE STARTS]

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]







[g*n CLICKS]

[DRUMS PLAYING CLUMSILY]

I gotta figure out what to do with her.

The convent's not opening anytime soon,

and she doesn't want to go back, anyway.

But if you could, that's
where you would leave her?

At the convent?

Where else is there?

How could someone so smart be so stupid?

She doesn't belong
anywhere but with you.

Me? No, she hates me.

Maybe because you left her at a convent.

I was looking for advice, not a lecture.

- [TERESA PLAYS PIANO]
- But you need a lecture.

You know exactly what to do with her,

you just don't want to...

What is the expression?

Own up to it.

Own up to what? To the obvious.

The thing you avoid talking about.

You know, you sound like a
gal I knew back in 'Frisco

who talked in a loop-de-loop.

She'd never say a color was
red, only that it wasn't blue.

Why don't you just say
what you want to say?

I am. I have been. For years now.

Each time, you suddenly go deaf.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]



You're not the one who has to
clean the puke out of the car.

Samuel knows how to put a drop of gin

in a tall glass of tonic.

Maybe she should stay with you.

You seem to understand her so well.

[SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS]

[GLASS CLINKING]

Okay, let's pretend
you really are an idiot,

and I will put this in your own words.

Many years ago, Bridget
walks out of prison

and into your loving arms.

You whisk her off to a motel
and f*ck her one last time,

only to realize that the love,

or whatever you two
shared, was all gone.

And before you can tell
her, she's run off to Turkey,

where she meets Philippe,

and you never see her again.

That's the story, yes?

Yes.

But where in that epic tale

do you hear that I'm a father?

Hm, so we are not so dumb after all.

You honestly think that's
never occurred to me?

My point is only that
you won't face reality.

I won't, because reality
doesn't make any sense.

Why not?

Teresa was 4 years old when
I picked her up in Turkey.

So?

I hadn't seen Bridget in six years.

And can you make the difference

between a 4-year-old and a 6-year-old?

I can read a birth certificate.

Bridget sounds like someone

who knew how to get a document forged.



Look at her.

Does she seem 14 to you?

She's 15.

Does she seem 15 to you?

Yeah.



Exactly.

Look at her.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]



[GLASSES CLINKING]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[CONVERSING IN FRENCH]

[OBJECTS RUSTLING]

[DOOR CREAKS]

Okay.

[SCUFFLING]

[GRUNTS]

[THUDDING]

[THUD]

[WHEEZING SOFTLY]



[DISTORTED g*nf*re]



[DISTORTED FOOTSTEPS]



[BREATHING SHAKILY]







[DISTORTED FOOTSTEPS]



[WOMAN VOCALIZING]







[WHISPERING IN FRENCH]

[g*nsh*t]







Knock it off.

I'm already in a foul mood.

Let's not make it any worse.



I'm a private investigator
in Bozouls to find Zayd.

- Get in line.
- Zayd?

I'm not what you think
I am, Monsieur Spade.

I can't imagine that a man
of your particular origins

is upset about body count.

SPADE: I make decisions
and I live by them.

For better or for worse.

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