DAGWOOD: Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Don't touch that dial.
Blondie!
[♪♪♪]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[WHISTLING]
Hurry up, Dagwood.
You'll be late!
-Bye.
-Oh.
[THUDS]
Blondie!
[DOGS BARKING]
[♪♪♪]
[SIGHS]
[PHONE RINGING]
Hello? Oh, hello, Cora.
[SIGHS]
No, I haven't heard any gossip
about Lydia Vernon.
And what she up to?
Mm-hmm.
[INDISTINCT TALKING OVER PHONE]
Do you know Lydia Vernon?
Get a load of this.
[MACHINE RUMBLING]
Now, children. [CLEARS THROAT]
-Cora, I can hardly believe it.
-Neither can I.
But can I call you back?
I'm right in the middle
of washing and waxing
and getting the kids
off to school,
and Dagwood to the office.
Bye.
Boy, that Lydia Vernon sure
is a panic, isn't she?
DAGWOOD: I'm waiting, Blondie.
Does daddy know you waxed
the floor?
Oh, good heavens!
Goodbye.
[DOG BARKING]
Blondie.
Blondie,
you better keep Daisy inside.
She might get hurt. [GROANS]
I knew it was gonna happen.
Are you hurt?
I haven't got time to find out.
Goodbye.
Thank goodness,
I b*at him to the door.
We can't afford
another new one.
Come on, little one,
time for school.
-Bye, Mom.
-Bye, Mom.
Now, you stay inside.
And you're my little Bumstead.
-Oh, there we are.
-[DOORBELL RINGS]
Now, what did they get? [SIGHS]
Good morning,
I'm looking for a job.
Oh, you must be
at the wrong place.
I'm a maid.
Now I know
you're at the wrong place.
We can't afford a maid.
But I work very cheap and...
and I need work desperately.
And I need help desperately.
But, well, I really couldn't.
Oh, try the people
across the street,
-they used to have a maid.
-I've been there.
I've been to every house
on that side of the street.
I'm sorry. Really, I am.
Well, a woman with children
always needs help.
Oh! How do you know
I have children?
-Well, you look tired.
-[CHUCKLES]
Well, that's a sure sign,
all right.
Well, I'm sorry
to have troubled you but...
-but I did hope.
-Oh. Oh, wait.
You look tired too.
Why don't you come in
and have a cup of coffee?
-[expl*si*n]
-Oh, my washing machine.
[CLATTERING]
-Oh, you really do need help.
-No!
I'm very good
at this sort of thing.
Oh, this awful little machine.
And we can't afford a new one.
Oh, perhaps, if I had a maid,
I could get a job
and earn some extra money.
Well, of course,
and I could do your housework.
Oh, but I have to pay you.
I'm not very much. All I want
is a roof over my head
something to eat, and some...
and some nice people to be with.
But we don't have
an extra bedroom.
-I can sleep in the attic.
-You might have something there.
I could probably go back
to work for my old boss.
He often calls and asks me to.
He liked me a lot
before I was married.
But why don't you? It would be
interesting for you and...
and I could take very good care
of your house.
It might be fun. [CHUCKLES]
And I could certainly use
the extra money
to buy a new washing machine.
Oh, by the way,
I'm Mrs. Bumstead.
-What's your name?
-Lynne Wyatt.
[CHUCKLES] You know,
I just don't understand
why a young pretty girl like you
should wanna do housework.
Well, I'm new in town
and I have no friends
or any money
and all I know how to do
is housework.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
All right, Lynne.
I'll call my ex-boss.
And if he gives me
my old job back, I'll hire you.
[♪♪♪]
Come on, pups, back up.
Come on, hon.
[DOG BARKING]
-Coochie, coochie, coochie, coo!
-[SCREAMS]
Oh Blondie, you changed
into somebody else.
Oh, excuse me.
[GLASS SHATTERS]
Dagwood, what are you doing
on the floor?
[DAGWOOD GROANS]
-Blondie.
-Hello, dear.
Blondie,
why aren't you fixing...
who is that girl out there?
That's our new maid.
What... [MURMURING]
We can't afford a maid?
Shh. Quiet. She'll hear you.
Come in the living room
and I'll tell you all about it.
Yeah, I thought
I was in the wrong house.
Wait a minute.
Where are we gonna get
the money to pay a maid?
Dagwood,
you might as well face it.
-I got a job.
-What?
[CHUCKLES] I'm going back
to work for my old boss,
Harry Jennings.
You mean that guy
that used to chase you
around the water cooler?
-Oh.
-I figured it all out.
Now, I know you do
your best, dear.
You work very hard
for me and the children.
-Overtime and all.
-Yeah.
But with prices the way
they are,
well, we can just barely
get by.
Yeah, if you weren't
such a good manager,
we couldn't get by.
But, dear, with me working now,
we can pay the maid,
and have an extra
-Oh!
-Oh. What's the matter, dear?
Oh, I just wish
I could give you everything.
I hate to have you work.
You're sweet. [CHUCKLES]
But now, with me working
for Harry...
-Mm-hmm.
-...my hours will be
from 9:00 to 5:00.
Whereas at home,
my work is never done.
Well, honey, if that's the way
you want it, I...
-[SIGHS]
-Well, it's all right with me.
-Oh. [CHUCKLES]
-I just hope
she's as good
a homemaker as you are.
Oh, she'll be fine. I know.
-How do you know?
-Women's intuition.
-[DOOR CLOSES]
-ALEXANDER: Hi, Pop.
How did you like the new maid?
Huh?
-[MUMBLING]
-[SIGHS]
Alexander, pick up that jacket.
Cookie,
pick up those magazines.
-We have a maid now.
-This is really living.
We should've had a maid
a long time ago.
Just because we have a maid,
it doesn't mean
that you kids can go around
messing up the house.
But I don't have to do
the dishes anymore
or clean up my room
or anything.
And I'm a man of leisure.
I don't have to
take out the cans
or burn the trash or anything.
All right,
the maid does your work
and the maid
gets your allowance.
Trash, here I come.
[♪♪♪]
You'll have to stand there
and watch me all the time.
It makes me so nervous. [SIGHS]
[RETCHES]
Thank you for cleaning up
the floor.
[KNOCKS ON DOOR]
Come in.
Lynne.
Bobby!
Oh, darling, I missed you so.
I've been out of my mind
with worry.
Oh, you poor darling.
-What are you doing here?
-I took a job as their maid.
[LAUGHS] You're funny
but I love you.
-How did you find me?
-You phoned a hotel
and asked them
to send over some clothes.
Oh, but I'm glad
you found me, Bobby.
So am I.
Now come on back home with me.
Bobby, I can't leave them
in the middle of dinner.
Why not? The way you cook,
you'd be doing them a favor.
That wasn't very nice.
Oh, I'm sorry, honey,
but you can't really cook
-or keep house.
-Is that so?
ROBERT: Now,
be honest with yourself.
LYNNE: I'll show you.
I'm not as helpless
as you think.
Oh, yes, you are.
I've had enough,
Robert Wyatt III.
I'm sick of being told
that I'm helpless,
that I can't run my own house.
That I ain't a cook
and a maid
-and...
-No, sweetheart,
you can't help it
if you're helpless.
I am not helpless.
I'm gonna stay right here
and prove you
that I don't
need any help and...
That I don't need you.
So, you just go on
and leave me alone.
Go on.
All right. If that's the way
you want it, goodbye!
[DOOR SLAMS SHUT]
Is she going someplace?
Hey, how about my dinner?
[SOUP BOILING]
Oh, why you all always
in the way?
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, dear, what a mess.
Oh, my stove. Oh.
-It's hot.
-Oh, now, don't worry about it.
Oh, no, no, no.
Lynnee, it wasn't your fault.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I messed up everything.
I'm sorry, Mr. Bumstead.
Oh, well,
it could have been spaghetti
and meatballs, you know?
[LAUGHS]
Who was at the door, Lynnee?
Oh, oh, nobody.
Just somebody I know.
Oh, I know I can do the job.
It's just so difficult to work
with the dogs
always on the floor.
I know, dear. It's just that
you're not used to them.
-And I do wanna please you.
-I know you do, dear.
Dagwood, we just got to do
something about the dogs.
It-- What?
Don't worry, dear.
We'll think of something.
Now, you go ahead
and finish dinner.
Come along, Dagwood.
[♪♪♪]
[DOG BARKING]
Come here. Come here. No, no.
No, no. Come on. No, no.
Please.
Please be very quiet, fellas.
Now, thank you very much.
There.
[SIGHS]
Bumstead, I...
-What's in there?
-Huh? Oh, just a little lunch.
Some hot dogs and a few beans.
-[CHUCKLES]
-Oh, good.
-Bumstead.
-Huh?
Your lunch is moving.
Oh, well, that's because
it's Mexican jumping beans.
[LAUGHTER]
Oh, just don't touch it,
Mr. Dithers.
-It might explode any minute.
-Oh, yeah?
-[DOG WHINING]
-Aw.
Now, how did they get in there?
What do you think
this is, a kennel?
Oh, no, sir. Now, I can explain.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
You see we have a maid.
-You have a maid?
-Uh-huh.
Bumstead,
even I don't have a maid.
Oh, well, you see, Mr. Dithers,
you don't have a maid
because you have money
but you don't want to spend it.
We have a maid because
if we don't have enough money,
but we want to spend it.
-That's logical.
-Uh-huh.
-Coming from you.
-Yeah.
You see, now,
we need a washing machine.
If we have a maid,
Blondie can work
and we can save enough money
to buy it.
But if I don't bring the dogs
to the office,
the maid'll quit
and we'll lose money.
-Do you understand?
-Oh, perfectly.
And if you bring in the dogs
to work, I'll fire you
and you'll be able
to save more money, understand?
No.
-Neither do I.
-Yeah.
[DOG BARKING]
Now, get those yapping dogs
out of here
and get back to work.
-Yes, Mr. Dithers.
-Now, out.
-Stay, stay, g*ng. Stay.
-Out.
-Come on, g*ng.
-Out.
-Yeah.
-MR. DITHERS: O-U-T. Out!
But, but, but...
And take that motorboat
with you.
DAGWOOD: But...
Oh, it's so good
to have you back, Blondie.
Just like old times.
Thank you, Mr. Jennings.
Uh, uh, uh.
None of that Mr. Jennings stuff.
-Just call me Harry.
-[CHUCKLES] All right, Harry.
It was very nice of you
to let me bring Daisy
to the office.
Anything at all, Blondie.
Anything at all.
[CLEARS THROAT] I better
take those letters now.
Oh, oh, yes, yes.
The dictation.
Uh! Let me see, uh...
First, get me the file
on Sutton & Son please.
It's right over in that cabinet.
All right.
[PHONE RINGS]
Hello? Taylor?
Oh, yes, Mr. Taylor.
Yes, we're giving
you're proposition
very serious consideration.
Hmm? [CHUCKLES]
No, no, no. Of course not.
I'm not kidding, Mr. Taylor.
Blondie.
As a matter of fact,
I'm working on it right now.
Uh, uh! Mr. Taylor,
I better call you right back.
There's...
there's a little matter here
that needs
my immediate attention.
Goodbye.
Oh, Blondie,
I've dreamed of this moment.
But I never thought
it would ever happen.
[SMOOCHING] Sweetheart.
[GRUNTS]
-I quit.
-You're fired.
Daisy, up.
[DAISY GROWLING]
[♪♪♪]
How does the budget
come out, dear?
-We're in big trouble.
-That's nothing unusual.
Blondie, without you working,
we cannot afford her.
Can't you tell her, dear?
Oh, I couldn't do it.
You do it.
Well, I... Oh!
I'll call Mr. Dithers
and have him fire her.
-He's an expert.
-You will do no such thing.
I'll thought you were the head
of the house.
Yeah, I thought so too,
until about a month
after we were married.
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
What will I say?
-Well, just say you're fired.
-Oh.
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
Uh! Let's talk about this
a little more, huh?
Now, dear,
there's nothing to talk about.
All you have to do
is go in the kitchen
and say, "You're fired."
-It's as easy as that.
-[HERB WHISTLES]
Anybody home?
-Hello, Blondie.
-What are you doing here?
Oh, don't go away.
I'll be right back.
[♪♪♪]
Well, and who might you be?
Well, I'm Lynnee Wyatt.
The Bumsteads' new maid.
Who are you?
I'm Herb Woodley.
Bumstead's neighbor.
Your neighbor too. [LAUGHS]
And I might say
the neighborhood
is getting better all the time.
I'll tell the Bumsteads
you're here.
Wow.
Mr. Woodley is here.
Lovely girl. Very beautiful.
You know something, Herb,
you wanna have a maid.
Oh yes. And I know Lynne
would love working for you.
It'd be so easy for her.
No children to worry about.
No dogs.
-That's a wonderful idea.
-Uh-huh.
-But I can't afford it.
-Oh, Herb, you're so wrong.
Why, you'd make money.
-Make money? How?
-Mm-hmm.
Oh, just the way
we didn't make money.
-Oh, I mean...
-Harriet could get a job.
-Yes.
-And you'd make a lot of income.
I never thought of that.
But it's against my principle
to allow my wife to work
-unless the price is right.
-Oh, yeah.
And remember,
your meals will be cooked
-and served to you.
-Oh, I'd like that.
And she'd do the dishes,
no more dishpan hands for you.
Oh, that's a wonderful idea.
Will there be anything else
tonight, Mrs. Bumstead?
-No, just finish in the kitchen.
-Yes, ma'am.
Oh, yes.
And when you go upstairs,
you might turn down the beds
and lay out my bed jacket,
please?
Oh, yes, and lay out
my bed jacket too, please.
Yes, sir.
I think I'll go talk to her
right now.
-Hey, look at this.
-Huh? What?
Police suspect
a young man and woman
who robbed Leopard's jewelry
store of 20,000 dollars' worth
-of previous gems...
-Mm-hmm.
...may still be hiding out
in town.
The attractive brunette is been
known to work as a maid.
And police caution homeowners
to check references
of any recently engaged
domestics very carefully.
A substantial reward
is offered.
Hey, we better hide
the silverware right now.
Oh, now, Dagwood.
That's ridiculous.
Wait a minute. Did you check
Lynnee's references?
-Um. She didn't have any.
-Uh-huh!
I think I better be going,
folks.
Wait a minute.
Aren't you gonna talk to Lynne?
Oh, I wouldn't think of hiring
your jewel thief away from you.
Toodaloo!
Oh, I'm dressing up
for nothing.
[DOOR CLOSES]
I better hide my piggybank.
Oh, no, no, no,
you're all being silly.
Now, Lynne is a nice,
sweet, honest, girl.
Yeah, but how about last night?
There was a strange man
in the kitchen
and Lynne acted
pretty suspicious.
Well, everything you say
might be true but
well,
I still don't believe it.
Why not? She's a criminal.
-But she's a girl.
-Okay. So she's a girl criminal.
No, no, no. Stop, all of you.
Well, she...
I just know she's innocent.
Now, Dagwood,
you go in the kitchen
and you tell her
that we just can't afford
to keep her on.
It's not a question
of loving you, Bobby.
I do. I always will.
But I'm not going home
with you.
ROBERT: I can't understand how
anyone as lovely as you
can be so stubborn?
LYNNE: I'm not going back
to your way of life.
ROBERT: What's wrong
with my way of life?
You know everything about me.
LYNNE: You said
it was gonna be a partnership.
Everything 50-50.
Well, what more do you want?
You've got diamonds, money.
I want to live like
other ordinary normal...
That's his confederate,
all right.
-She's his g*n-mule.
-Shh.
ROBERT: I guess I had you
pegged all wrong.
-Some women stick to a man...
-Bobby, please!
...no matter how he lives.
Goodbye!
Bobby.
He's getting away.
Call the police.
No. And then we'll lose
the reward.
Let's wait until he comes back
and we'll get the whole g*ng.
How?
By using the old Bumstead brain.
[SNORING]
Dagwood.
Dagwood, wake up.
How can you sleep
in a time like this?
What happened? Where is he?
Did they catch him?
-Call the police. Help!
-Dagwood, Dagwood, Dagwood.
Oh, I guess I was dreaming.
Oh, are you frightened?
No, I was scared to death.
Well, you shouldn't be.
Because I set a trap for him.
Yes, but suppose
it doesn't work.
Well, well, it will work.
I locked every window
in the house but one.
And when he tries to come
to that one, pow.
He'll get it.
And now,
you just get back to bed
and try to get some rest done.
-All right.
-Come on.
There, there.
[COUGHS]
[THUDDING IN THE ATTIC]
Dagwood.
-Huh?
-BLONDIE: Listen.
She must be due in a minute.
She's nervous.
So am I.
You're the most impossible man
I've ever met.
I hate you!
I love you too.
-What's she doing up there?
-Probably hiding the jewels.
[METAL CLANGING]
Now... now she's downstairs.
How did she get down there
so fast?
She probably let
her confederate in the door.
And the trap won't work.
[THUDDING CONTINUES]
Probably stole a whole diamond.
-She dropped it.
-I'm scared.
DAGWOOD:
Look, you stay right here
and I'll go downstairs.
-Be careful.
-Yeah.
All right, follow me, men.
On second thought,
you go first.
Come on downstairs.
Come on, g*ng.
Be brave, Blondie.
[♪♪♪]
Come on.
[GLASS BREAKING]
[DOG GROWLING]
Sic'em.
[DOGS BARKING]
[♪♪♪]
[THINGS CLATTERING]
Mr. Bumstead.
Mr. Bumstead, please.
Don't do anything.
I can explain everything.
-Oh, Mommy, I'm scared.
-Shh.
What was all that noise
down there?
-Where's Pop?
-Shh.
It's so quiet down there.
I wonder
what could have happened?
-Did the burglar come?
-Yes.
And your father went
downstairs to catch him.
And then there was this
awful ruckus.
And now this silence.
Poor Pop.
We better call the police.
But the phone is downstairs.
I can go downstairs
and sneak into the living room,
-then I can call the police.
-No, no, no.
I won't let you go down there.
-[KNOCK ON DOOR]
-[SIGHS]
-Oh, it's you.
-May I come in?
I heard noise downstairs,
and I'm frightened.
A likely story.
Your confederate is downstairs
right now.
What are you talking about?
We heard you talking
about the diamonds and money.
And we heard you upstairs
hiding jewels.
I don't understand.
And now he's come back
to get you and the jewels.
-Robert's come back.
-Why is it so quiet down there?
LYNNE: Mrs. Bumstead,
I'm beginning to understand.
Please let me explain.
The man downstairs
is really my husband.
-Your husband?
-Yes.
He's wealthy and he wants
to give me everything.
But I wanted to prove to him
I could run my own home.
[CHUCKLES]
There you are.
Look, Mr. Bumstead.
You're very hospitable.
But right now,
I'd like to get upstairs
-and talk to my wife.
-Oh.
Easy, boy. Easy.
Take it from a wiser old head
and mind.
Where women are concerned,
fools rush in,
but angels look
before they leave.
Huh?
[♪♪♪]
-Bobby!
-Lynne, baby!
Dagwood.
Mrs. Bumstead, we've caused you
so much trouble.
-Can you ever forgive us?
-Of course.
You know, you're married
to a brilliant, intelligent
young man.
I had a trap all set for him
and it was foolproof,
-but he fooled it.
-Really?
Sure. I had every window
in this house
carefully locked, but one,
and you were supposed to come
in that one.
But I guess you found
another window, huh?
Well, yeah,
I crawled through that one.
Oh, that's the one I left open.
Well, that's funny.
You were supposed
to be caught in a trap.
You see,
when you step right here,
-you would...
-[THUD]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Oh, you are poor thing.
Everything
is going to be all right.
Hey, oh, this is fun.
[LAUGHTER]
Oh, dear,
something else in this house
that doesn't work.
Well, I guess you can't have
your milkshake, kids.
Can Pop fix it?
Not until he's fixed
the washing machine.
-I'll take it to him.
-All right.
Oh, Dagwood,
when you're finish fixing
the washing machine,
would you fix the mixer?
DAGWOOD:
Everything is under control.
[WASHING MACHINE
WHIRRING LOUDLY]
[LAUGHTER]
[♪♪♪]