DAGWOOD: Uh-uh, uh-uh.
Don't touch that dial.
Blondie.
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
I can't stand it.
Oh, Dagwood. What's the matter?
Are you annoyed
because the Dithers
are coming over tonight?
No, it's this living room,
this is the most
nervous-making living room
I've ever lived in.
Just look at it.
The whole room seems
to be jumping around,
flippity flop, bippity bop,
jippily wiggly, wiggly diggly.
Now, now, just relax, dear.
Take it easy.
Now, maybe you're right,
and I ought to be decorating.
-No, I can't stand it.
-Oh, what's the matter now?
[♪♪♪]
-It's your knitting needle.
-Oh, Dagwood, you bent it.
[♪♪♪]
Come on, Blondie,
where do you want this thing?
-MR. DITHERS: Oh, let's drop it.
-Oh, no, no, over there.
Oh, no, no, over there.
Oh, oh, right here.
Now turn it around.
That's right,
all the way around.
[BOTH GROAN]
DAGWOOD: Blondie, here,
hold this for a minute,
-will you?
-Oh, sure.
And, uh, Cora, will you hold
this just a second?
-I've got... I've got to sneeze.
-CORA: Oh, wait.
-I'm just... [GROANS]
-Let me get it all over now.
[LAUGHS]
Now, girls, just put it down
exactly where you want it.
Oh, all right.
Over here, Blondie.
Oh, no, no, no, over here.
No, no, no, uh, over there.
No, that destroys
the proportions of the room.
-Over there.
-No, over there.
That's perfect.
BLONDIE:
Let's put it down, Cora.
Oh. [GROANS]
Oh, I don't think
that looks so good.
Oh, Blondie, you have to look
at it from across the room.
No, I'm afraid
we're gonna have to put it
all back the way it was.
-No, no.
-I knew this would happen.
You know, I read an article
by a psychiatrist,
who said one of the most
horrible times in a woman's life
is when she's decorating a room.
Yeah. Some women
go all to pieces.
-That's silly.
-Why I never heard such a thing.
-That's utterly ridiculous.
-Well, did I go to pieces
when I decorated this room?
Yes, but I saved all the pieces.
Blondie you were in bed
for a week.
You know, the last time
Cora redecorated,
she ended up by going home
to her mother.
Hey, Cora, why don't you start
redecorating again?
It was so quiet
while you were away.
I am planning on redecorating,
but watch your step, little man,
or we'll settle this
in the privacy of our gymnasium.
Oh, Cora, not those
eight-ounce gloves again.
No, no, no,
let's move everything back.
Yes, let's move everything back.
Yeah, move everything back?
Now, why should decorating
be so awful, I love it.
That's because a woman reveals
her inner personality
when she's decorating.
-Uh, no kidding.
-Of course.
Take a look
at Blondie's living room,
and get and eyeful
of her inner personality.
Blondie certainly has a mixed up
inner personality.
Frills and gimmicks
and gadgets and ruffles
-every place you look.
-Well, that's Blondie all right,
very sweet and feminine.
[CHUCKLES] Look, it's skirts
on everything,
and I guess that's why
I don't like it,
I'm just not the skirt type
myself.
Oh, that's a lot of nonsense,
Blondie.
All woman doesn't reveal
her inner personality
-in the living room.
-Oh, no?
Well, think of our living room,
all the chairs are so hard
and cold and difficult
to look at.
Are you talking about me,
Julius?
No, about...
about our living room, darling.
He was just kidding,
Mrs. Dithers.
Just look at this...
how cute can you get?
Petticoats on our windows.
Uh, and you know Blondie
just loves dots, look at them.
[CHUCKLES] That psychiatrist
certainly knows women.
Blondie, do you know
what these are psychologically?
-All right, what are they?
-[CHUCKLES]
-I said what are they?
-They're night gowns.
[CHUCKLES] No wonder, Herb
get nervous with night gowns
and skirts and petticoats
around him all the time.
The redecorating starts
right now.
Yeah, but I was thinking--
Get these nighties off of me.
And that doctor's wrong
about women.
[SOBS] I love decorating.
[♪♪♪]
[DAGWOOD SNORING]
-Dagwood, Dagwood.
-What?
Oh, Blondie.
I'm mad at the way you laughed
at my inner personality.
Oh, Blondie, go to sleep, dear,
and take it up with me
in your dreams.
I can't sleep because I'm mad.
What makes you think
I'm all frills and ruffles?
I don't know where I ever got
such a silly idea.
Good night, dear.
-I'm not through yet.
-Good night, dear.
Well, if you don't like
early American,
well how about French provincial
or California ranch house
-or English manor house?
-Or Japanese teahouse.
Just say what you want.
I wanna go to sleep.
[SNORING]
Dagwood. Dagwood.
Dagwood.
Blondie, please forget
about decorating
the living room,
I like it the way it is.
You do not. We're gonna
discuss it right now.
Oh, that did it.
You can just stay here,
decorating all night.
I'm going to find
some other place to sleep.
[DOOR SLAMS]
-[DAGWOOD YELPING]
-[THINGS CLATTERING]
Dagwood, Dagwood.
Stop trying to wake me up,
I'm gonna sleep right here.
Oh.
[♪♪♪]
-What are you reading?
-It's about a family like ours.
Say has anybody noticed
how quiet our family is?
-It wasn't quiet last night.
-I know.
Say, are we having another
family hassle this morning?
Of course not,
we had it last night.
All I did was make
a very few little remarks
about our furniture.
Alexander, what do you think
about furniture?
Well, it's all right.
But it kind of reminds me
of a girl's dressing room.
[CHUCKLES]
I'm sorry, Alexander,
but I don't agree with you.
What's the matter?
What did I do? What did I say?
You struck a nerve.
Alexander, you know,
you're getting smarter
every day.
Here, go buy yourself
a psychology book.
ALEXANDER: Thanks, Pop.
Personally, I love our living
room, I think it's beautiful.
Huh?
-Here, Cookie.
-Thanks, Mommy.
Well, good morning, Bumsteads.
-Hi, Herb.
-BLONDIE: Hello, Herb.
Are we still gonna redecorate
-our living room?
-Well, how did you know?
Well, you left your bedroom
window open last night
and the acoustics are very
beautiful between our houses.
You had Harriet and me up
most of the night.
Herb, you have been
eavesdropping.
Yeah, and I ought to.
You know, I don't think
your living room
-looks like you, Blondie.
-Oh, why thank you, Herb.
Oh, here's a quarter
for you, too.
Yeah, thank you very much.
Yeah, don't thank her, thank me.
Come on in, Harriet.
We have a little present
for your psychological
living room, it'll make it look
more masculine.
-What is it?
-HERB: You'll see.
Come in and put it down.
[GROANS]
Oh, a real grandfather's clock.
We thought you'd like it.
Herb and I
just never cared for it.
Whose grandfather
did it belong to?
-Mine.
-Yeah, you'll notice
that when it starts to chime,
it's a little eccentric.
[BONES CRACKLING]
-Don't be stupid.
-Oh, uh, my grandfather
-was real stupid.
-Stupid?
Yeah, he was way over like this.
-[CHUCKLES]
-HERB: Oh, brother.
-Hey, look what I got.
-Hey, that's my old banjo.
How did that get in there?
Well, I put it in there
to keep you from getting fat.
-♪ Oh, Susanna... ♪
-Hey, well, wait a minute.
-♪ ...don't you cry for me ♪
-What's a banjo got to do
-with him getting fat?
-♪ Oh, for I come from Alabama ♪
-♪ With the banjo on my knee ♪
-Well, you see,
-whenever he sees it...
-[HERB SINGING]
...he plays it, and whenever
he plays it, he sings.
I can't stand the singing
so I give him something to eat,
so he can't sing.
And when he eats all the time,
-he gets fat.
-♪ Oh, Susanna-- ♪
Logical?
You got a great
little brain there, Harriet.
Oh, and Blondie,
Margret and Howard Fink
are gonna give you
a love seat they don't want.
Oh, how wonderful.
But how did they hear?
Well, I was on the phone
all morning,
you know what
an awful gossip I am.
Well, let's get going.
Goodbye, Blondie.
-Huh? Blondie.
-I'm mad at you,
until you apologize
to my inner personality.
I refuse to apologize
to your inner personality.
All right, I refuse to kiss you
goodbye.
Well, that's the way
the asparagus tips.
Come on, Herb.
-Goodbye, Harriet.
-Oh, wait,
you have to help me
carry the clock
-into the living room.
-Of course, my dear, I'm sorry.
-Got it?
-HARRIET: Open the door, dear.
-Follow me, dear.
-That's more like it.
[♪♪♪]
Hello, Dagwood.
-Hey, come in here a minute.
-Good morning, J.C.
You know, Harriet Woodley
called Cora this morning
and we're giving you
an old coffee table
-for your new living room.
-Oh, thank you.
Uh, but how did you get
the stiff neck?
Listen, you better come
over here and sit down
-and let me work on it for you.
-Yeah.
I guess I never should've
told Cora.
She looked like
our gateleg table,
we got into quite an argument.
Whenever we do,
I get a stiff neck.
Oh, I see, your wife gives you
a pain in the neck.
Yeah. Well, uh,
you got something there.
Oh, that's it.
Dagwood, I'm going to do
the only thing that'll make you
and Blondie happy.
Oh, you're gonna
give me a raise?
Oh, don't be sickening.
And what you'll need
is a professional decorator.
You remember my telling you
I was thinking of letting
a Ms. Faraday decorate
a model house for us?
-Yeah.
-Well, I don't know whether
she's any good enough,
but this is a good way
to find out.
We'll break her
in on your living room.
-Oh, no.
-MR. DITHERS: Certainly,
you wouldn't want her
to do a sloppy job
on one of our model homes,
would you?
Yes, but... but
what about my living room?
Uh, Bumstead, that's an order.
I'm sure you'll like her.
Mr. Dithers, I'm going to take
the kink out of your neck.
-All right. [MUMBLES, GASPS]
-[NECK SNAPS]
-You did it.
-Uh, I did?
Yeah. Now get back to work.
[SIGHS]
-Oh!
-Yes, sir.
[CHUCKLES]
Marie, call Ms. Faraday
and ask her to drop in
on the Bumstead's around 12:30.
-[BONES CRACKING]
-Ouch. Ouch, help.
Harriet and I
have been working all morning
and I want you to be surprised
when you see what we've done.
Quick, put the sack back on.
Oh, come on in
and take a closer look.
Now, Dagwood, I haven't got it
arranged quite right,
but every single piece
is a lovely one.
Yeah. Uh, what is this?
United Nations' gulag?
Uh, look at the expression
on that lamp.
Does it do anything else?
-Who gave us this?
-Gertrude Cavanaugh.
That figures.
Look at the legs,
put some shoes and stockings
on it and then it's Gertrude.
-But it's very comfortable.
-Gertrude has got to go.
No.
What happened to the rest
of our furniture?
Well, some of it's in the garage
and some of it I traded.
-Hmm.
-I got those carved chairs
for our occasional table.
A brass planter,
-two ashtrays and one book end.
-Oh, no.
You don't like it?
You want my honest opinion?
-Yes.
-I hate it.
-Oh, Dagwood.
-[BEAR GROWLING]
[GASPS]
Look what Derek Thomas
brought you.
Yeah, well, very funny,
but get it out of here.
-I think he's sweet.
-Yeah.
Dagwood, we worked very hard
and I don't like your attitude.
If that's the way
you're gonna act,
-I'm going over to Harriet's.
-Oh, wait a minute, Blondie.
I think you're a b*at.
Come on, Blondie.
If you're so smart
decorate the room yourself.
Okay. I will.
-[DOOR SLAMS]
-[SIGHS] Oh!
Oh. [GROANS]
[CLOCK CHIMING]
Will you cut it out?
Blondie.
[♪♪♪]
-Oh, please, come home, Blondie.
-We'd rather not talk to you.
Okay. You don't have
to talk to me.
But I command you to come home
and fix my lunch. Uh, please.
-Not gonna do it.
-You keep out of this.
There's a pretty lady
looking for you, Daddy.
Oh, there is? Goodie.
-Oh, are you Mr. Bumstead?
-Oh, uh, yes,
-uh, are you Ms. Faraday?
-Yes.
Oh, your daughter told me
I'd find you here.
I hope I am not interrupting
anything.
Oh, no, not at all.
Well, so long, girls. [CHUCKLES]
Come along, Ms. Faraday.
We have lots to talk about.
Gee, she's beautiful.
Another blonde too.
One of the most dangerous kind.
Who is she, Blondie?
[LOUD BANG]
-COOKIE: Mommy?
-HARRIET: What's the matter.
COOKIE: Speak to me, Mommy.
HARRIET: Blondie? Blondie?
What's the matter?
COOKIE: Mommy, speak to me.
Mommy. Come on now.
-HARRIET: Blondie?
-[GASPS]
I'm going home
and find out who she is.
No, Blondie,
you might do something awful
and where would we hide
the body?
You better take
a nice cold shower first.
[GASPS] Oh, Mr. Bumstead,
it's terrible.
And my very first job,
it's just not fair.
-But--
-Oh, and that clock.
-Oh, yeah, lady.
-Really?
Uh, you see the clock
is half coo-coo
and half grandfather
and it should be
psychoanalyzed.
[CHUCKLES]
Now, Ms. Faraday,
what do you think we should do
-with this room?
-Well, you just might strike
a match to the whole thing.
Oh, Blondie, uh,
this is Ms. Faraday.
She's an interior decorator
and this is my wife,
Blondie Bumstead and she's
not an interior decorator.
[LAUGHS]
-Uh, we need you, Ms. Faraday.
-What's all Mr. Dithers told me.
Now, first of all,
who's in charge here?
-Oh, I am.
-I am.
Well, I guess that
eliminates you, Mr. Bumstead.
-Oh, yeah,
-Uh, Mrs. Bumstead,
there are some pieces here,
who... they look very old
and very good and maybe
we could sell some of them,
and get enough money
to well buy some carpeting.
Now that would make the room
much cozier and much warmer.
Now you won't have any more
trouble about the living room.
-Will we?
-Hmm. Well, if I know anything
about women and I do,
that trouble is just beginning.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER CONTINUES]
Ms. Faraday says the wallpaper
make the room look a lot smarter
and brighter. But I don't know
which one I like the best.
[SIGHS] Well, here's one
we won't have to consider.
Wait a minute,
that's the best one.
Don't you just love this,
Blondie?
-Well, I--
-You see, Cora,
she's wild about it.
Here's the one we don't--
Oh, now, don't do that, Harriet.
This is one of the one's
we liked isn't it, Blondie?
Don't I have anything to say
about this?
Now, this is the piece
of wallpaper we're going to use.
It'll be perfectly beautiful
with the contemporary decor
-don't you think so?
-We don't like it.
Mrs. Woodley,
it's a simple matter of taste.
Either you have it
or you don't have it.
Can't understand how you can be
a decorator and not have it.
Mrs. Woodley, I do have it.
Shall we say that your taste
is a little different than mine.
Now, perhaps you're the kind
of woman who doesn't like
the Mona Lisa.
Mona Lisa?
Is that the building that leans?
Harriet, it's that painting
of the woman smiling.
Uh, the woman with the smile,
like this.
Oh, that thing.
Uh, don't worry about her,
Ms. Faraday,
after all Blondie and I
will out groom her.
-Mrs. Dithers.
-Yes.
Now, I realize that Mr. Dithers
is very influential,
but I have my artistic integrity
and you have no vote here.
But I've had a great deal
of experience,
I'm very artistic,
I've been to Europe.
-When?
-Oh, I was there in 19...
-Never mind.
-Well, the three of us
can handle any problems
that might come up.
-Mrs. Woodley.
-Blondie, are you gonna let her
think the things
she's thinking about me?
Now look, girls, please, uh,
it's my living room
and I'd like to decorate it
the way I want to.
Well, in that case,
Mrs. Bumstead,
-you don't need me.
-Oh, but I do need you.
Oh, dear! I've never been
so confused in all my life.
But you don't need her, Blondie.
You've got us.
That's just what
I was going to say.
Mrs. Bumstead,
either they go or I go.
-Well, Blondie?
-Oh, Cora, for Heaven's sakes
don't get on your high horse
about this.
I've heard enough,
come, Harriet.
Well, I hope you'll be very
happy in your living room.
-Oh, Cora, Harriet!
-[DOOR SLAMS]
Really, Mrs. Bumstead,
you made a very wise decision.
Oh, but they're my best friends.
How depressing.
Now, pull yourself together,
Mrs. Bumstead.
I'm going to have
all these furniture taken out,
and a new furniture delivered.
Now by tonight,
you'll get some idea
of how you like
this room remodeled.
-That's fine.
-Of course, we won't have
the drapes yet,
but we can use this material.
[DOGS GROWLING]
Oh, good heavens.
That's all right,
I don't like it anyway.
And I'm glad somebody
agrees with me,
even if it's only the dogs.
[♪♪♪]
Of course, it isn't finished,
but, uh, it is lovely, isn't it?
Yes, very smart. Uh, I'm taking
this picture for Harriet.
Uh, why didn't you bring
Harriet over?
Well, she's still mad, but, uh,
the picture will be developed
in a minute then she'll let you
know what she thinks.
-I'll be right back.
-Yeah.
Dear, you haven't said very much
about the living room.
-I'm afraid to.
-Oh, well, go ahead,
-you won't hurt my feelings.
-I know women, Pop, don't do it.
Hmm. Yeah.
-What's he doing?
-Oh, why, Dagwood,
that's a very good example
of contemporary classic.
Oh, mm-hmm.
-Well?
-Be careful, Pop.
Yeah. Well, the couch
looks nice.
But, uh, I don't know,
it doesn't look too comfortable
for napping, does it?
You know, oh--
[GROANS]
Ow, maybe if I could, uh,
kind of put Daisy under my head
sort of like a pillow, huh?
Come on, Daisy,
come on, let's play.
-[DOGS BARKING]
-Daisy.
It doesn't seem like
a very good place
to play good guys
and bad guys in.
Cookie, this isn't a playroom,
it's a living room.
But that's living.
Yeah.
[GROANS]
Hmm.
Let's see here.
What's the matter?
You can't squirm around
in this chair, it's dangerous.
Oh! It's not very good
for napping either.
[SIGHS] Oh, Dagwood,
all you think about is sleeping.
Well, I think about food
sometimes.
Uh, in fact I'm thinking
about it right now.
I wonder if there's anything
in the refrigerator.
-I wonder too.
-Oh, Dagwood.
Oh, it's really lovely,
really it is.
Even if it is
a little uncomfortable.
What do you think about it,
Cookie?
-Well, it's just--
-Well, go ahead.
Well, it makes me nervous.
It reminds me
of the reception room
in the dentist office.
[WAILS]
Gee, Mommy. Lots of reception
rooms are nice.
I just meant this isn't a kind
of a room
-you'll like to sit down in.
-If I say so myself,
-it came out beautifully.
-[SOBS]
What's the matter, Blondie?
Oh, I don't know.
I guess I'm just tired.
Well, of course, Blondie.
Decorating is a lot
of hard work.
[GROANS]
Oh, I'm sorry,
I guess enough padding to stuff
in these model chairs.
Never mind,
what did Harriet say
-about the living room?
-She hates it.
-[CRIES]
-[DOORBELL RINGING]
I'll get it.
Oh.
Go get Daddy.
I've made a decision.
Hello, I'm Ms. Faraday,
the decorator.
Oh, yes, you're pretty
decorative yourself.
I got a couch that needs
recovering if you're interested.
I don't believe so.
-I'll decorate it myself.
-Well, Mrs. Bumstead,
how did your friends
like the room?
-Uh, they didn't like it.
-Oh, it's a lovely room.
It really is.
They will just as soon
-as their taste improved.
-Oh, no they won't.
I want all of this out of here
by tomorrow.
Oh, really, Mrs. Bumstead.
What period do you want now?
It's called homey
traditional modern.
-Well, there is no such style.
-Oh, there is now,
I just invented it.
But I think a lot of people
all over the country
have it already
-and are very happy with it.
-MS. FARADAY: Well, really,
-Mrs. Bumstead?
-That's what I want
and that's what
we're gonna have.
Now, this is a very
good-looking chair,
but did you ever actually
sit in it?
-Well, no, I, uh--
-BLONDIE: Go ahead, try it.
Very comfortable. [GASPS]
[ALL LAUGH]
Well, traditional modern chairs
don't break
and they're comfortable enough
to take a nap in.
Uh, the living room doesn't look
like a dentist reception room,
it looks like a living room.
People can relax in it,
and children can play in it
and dogs can ramp around it
-without hurting it.
-Well, really, uh, I...
-I just don't know what to say.
-Well, uh, how about, um...
-goodbye.
-Well, goodbye.
It's been very educational
and thank you very much.
-Your coat, Ms. Faraday.
-Your umbrella.
-Your briefcase.
-And here's a picture
we made of you just
after you tested the chair.
Good day, Ms. Faraday.
I'm moving to another town.
-[GIGGLES]
-[LAUGHS]
Good work, Blondie,
I'm proud of you.
Thank you, dear.
Now, about the living room,
I think we ought to have a--
well, I think we ought to have
a nice-- Uh, hmm?
[LOUD expl*si*n]
I was just kidding.
And the first person
who makes any suggestion
for decorating
is in for a lot of trouble.
-And that goes for me, too.
-Especially you.
[CHUCKLES] Yes, Blondie.
[♪♪♪]
-Ah, it's beautiful, Blondie.
-Oh I just love it, Blondie.
Yeah, I fixed the clock too
and it runs great.
Oh, it's beautiful, wonderful.
Oh, it certainly is.
But what style is it, Blondie?
It's called
homey traditional modern.
Oh, oh good. [CHUCKLES]
But how did you know
what to pick and choose?
Oh, that was easy.
[CHUCKLES] Blondie's the only
one that knows
what homey traditional
modern is.
[CLOCK RINGING, WHIRRING]
-[GASPS]
-Whoa, whoa.
Oh, cut it out.
Stop it. Huh?
[DOGS BARKING]
-It was just Daisy's children.
-Oh.
[CLOCK RINGING]
Stop that!
Well, the living room
may reveal my inner personality,
but the personality
of that clock
is now 100 percent
Dagwood Bumstead.
[ALL LAUGH]
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]