01x01 - The Sign

[bunniefuu]

[peaceful music]

♪ ♪

[tense music]

PERSON: Beth!

♪ ♪

It's so easy.

Effortless.

People trust you

and everything that led
you to this moment...

Your instincts,

your taste,

the taste

because it tastes good.

I mean, this wine is
just so drinkable, right?

I mean, this is your
"couple coming in

"for a quick dinner before
catching a Broadway show

"wanting to throw back a
few glasses... or bottles...

"So they're in a
good headspace to see

"the racial injustices
of To k*ll a Mockingbird

or Rent."

I like it, I'm just
not bananas about it.

- Exactly.
- What was the one we were,

like, bananas for?

- Um, Raw Dog.
- [groans] Yes!

Oh, my God, I love Raw Dog.

What if it were that?

BETH: Right, no, I
wish it were that.

I love that, but if
you guys like bubbles,

we have a champagne
that'll just...

[clicks tongue] Knock
your blocks off.

- I actually love champagne.
- BETH: Stop.

- Yeah.
- I love champagne.

That's insane. JOHN: Yeah.

And I just brought it up.

I've always said, um,

champagne makes you feel
like you're celebrating.

I don't know if that registers.

Okay, that is mind-blowing.

I never thought of it that way.

Yeah. BETH: Wow.

And actually, my-my partner

is the champagne rep
for my same company.

So if you ever wanted...

- That's sweet.
- My-my aunt's gay, so I get it.

BETH: [chuckles] Okay.

I'm not gay, but I
just... I say "partner"

because I feel a little bit
embarrassed saying "boyfriend"

just because I'm, like, you
know, barreling toward 40.

Oh. You don't look 40.

Really? Thanks.

That's funny. I feel
100. [both chuckle]

Yeah, Matt, my
boyfriend/partner always...

He always says I
seem like I'm 100

just 'cause, you know,
I'm like, whatever.

He's really funny.

That's... he always
says stuff like that.

Like a rain cloud,
all this, you know,

he's that guy who's,
like, life of the party,

he has a million
stories, he's so...

Uh-huh. BETH: Yeah.

And we-we could get
married, of course,

and we will, um.

I just... you know,
we're-we're happy

with the way things
are right now.

So, you know, it's
one of those, like,

"Why change," um, yeah.

I don't even know
if I want kids.

[scoffs] So.

Um. What was the question?

- No one asked a question.
- Right.

Uh, no, I, um, I
wanna hear about you.

Now, that is a story
I'm interested...

How did you two get
in this business?

- Oh, no.
- No, no.

Yes. You are so interesting.

I mean, I'll say it,
you two are mysterious.

I wouldn't say we're mysterious.

- I do get that.
- Um, but it is... we are...

We do have kind of, like,
a fascinating story.

It's, like, actually insane
if you wanna hear it.

Tell me every single thing.

So I went to BU,

and I majored in
communications, and...

Yeah. BETH: Stop.

And I transferred
into BU from Tufts.

- From Tufts.
- And I double-majored

in communications
and marketing, so.

[discordant jazz music]

[inaudible]

♪ ♪

- Stop.
- Why can't you stay for lunch?

I hate you, and now I loved you,

and now I hate you.
BETH: [groans] I know.

I wanna s*ab myself
in the f*cking neck.

Like, get my aorta
or whatever it is.

Yes, jugular.

BETH: But we are
going to see Jewel

when your stepmom and
Jim are back in town.

- We are going to see Jewel!
- Yes! Yes!

BETH: This is us
in the audience.

KATE AND JOHN: Yes!
BETH: You know it.

- Okay, you guys. Keep k*lling.
- Oh, my God.

This is honestly the
best day of my life.

- You better work.
- Bye, doll. Aw.

[M.I.A.'s "Y.A.L.A."]

[upbeat electronic music]

♪ ♪

SINGER: ♪ YALA ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Go low, go slow ♪

♪ Roll like a pollo ♪

♪ Up and down a pole ♪

♪ Like you're
glowing up a yo-yo ♪

♪ Go low, go slow ♪

♪ Roll like a pollo ♪

♪ Up and down a pole ♪

♪ Like you're
glowing up a yo-yo ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, YOLO ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, YOLO ♪

♪ Alarms go off when
I enter the building ♪

MURRAY: Good
afternoon, everyone.

As we head into our
most important quarter

of the year here at Kerig,
I wanna plant a seed

in your minds as salespeople.

When I got to this company,

it was failing,
flatlining, and spiraling,

and now I am proud to say

we are plateauing.

[scattered applause]
EMPLOYEE: Wow.

- Oh, go ahead. You can clap.
- EMPLOYEE: Okay.

We don't pretend to be
better than who we are.

And what are we?

- Mediocre?
- MURRAY: That's right... mediocre.

I want everyone at
karaoke tonight.

Our biggest clients
will be in attendance,

and with the Glaser Group,
I want Matt running point,

and Beth, you're
gonna be positioned

as whatever the guy who
helps the point does.

BETH: Okay. They never
remember me, though.

The Glaser Group. I'm just...

Beth, you're gonna
make 'em remember you,

and you're gonna sing tonight.

In fact, I expect all of you
to sing your tushies off.

- And Clark... over here, Clark.
- Yes?

MURRAY: Nothing from
Moana. [Clark sighs]

It's not age-appropriate.
[Clark inhales sharply]

- All right, Beth.
- Yeah.

Did you unload any of
our fine malbecs today?

[clears throat] Yeah, um,

I made some promises I'm not
looking forward to keeping,

but I sold 70 cases in the room.

- MURRAY: Whoa-oh!
- Wow.

So yeah, first appointment.

MURRAY: Yeah!
That-a-girl! All right.

Come on, ring the bell.

Uh, I... I'd rather skip it.

No, no, you did so good.

- Come on, ring the bell.
- Yeah?

Come on, they want you to do it.

Come on.

[bell chimes] Yes! All right.

Matt! Hey. MERI: Oh, my God!

MURRAY: Matty, how are ya?

How'd it go out
there today, buddy?

Hi, baby. MATT: Hey.

Well, I wanna
apologize to everybody.

So I thought I'd be celebrating

with you all with
some champagne, but...

I sold it all! [All yelling]

[applause]

CLARK: Oh, my God,
you broke that bell!

MERI: You got me!

Were you at Gramercy today?

No, I was in the private
room at um, uh...

Beth, what's that
f*ckin'... Uh, Daniel?

- Daniél. Very fancy.
- Daniél!

That Zagat jerk-off frog
palace everybody jerks off to.

- Guess who walks in?
- I don't know.

Oh, I'm blanking on his name.

The... it's the rapper with
the... With the gravelly voice?

Oh, Pitbull? That guy?

- f*cking Pitbulls.
- I could vomit.

I hate that wiseass.

So Pitbulls comes
into the private room,

lights a cigar,
and starts talking

full blast on his cell phone.

So I said, "Hey! Little man.

This is a private
event. Take a hike."

- [laughs]
- What?

- MATT: Yeah.
- Wait.

You actually said
that to Pitbulls?

- MATT: I did.
- This is hilarious!

- I think it's just "Pitbull."
- You know, not "Pitbulls."

Like, it's not plural,
it's just one Pitbull.

But y... oh, no, no, go
ahead. It doesn't matter.

So then what happened?
This is insane!

CLARK: Why are you
obsessed with grammar?

No, no, no, no, no.

Go, go, tell them...
We're having...

Can I talk to you for a second?

Yeah, yeah.

I'm sorry for messing up the
flow of that Pitbull story.

Oh, no, I don't even
think it was him.

I just thought it
would sound funny.

Listen, I saw you
ringing the sales bell?

- Yeah.
- It went good today?

Yeah, it went well, yeah.

- That's great. That's great.
- Yeah.

I'm gonna go shopping
with my mom, so.

Tell her I love her.

Yeah, I'll tell
her you love her.

- Thanks.
- Sure. Yeah.

Hey. BETH: Hi.

We're all here to
support you tonight.

But between you and me, if
Glaser doesn't go exclusive,

I'm gonna have to start
letting people go.

- I got this. Easy.
- MURRAY: Yeah!

Who's my quarterback?
There he goes! Come on!

[Matt grunting] Whoa!

Wayne Brady! There
he is! [laughs]

Listen, Beth, they're
asking for names

for East Coast sales manager.

What do you think?

Meaning... MURRAY: Mm-hmm.

Uh, I... well, I'm
interested, I think,

if-if that's what you
mean. MURRAY: You think?

- Well, isn't Matt up for this?
- I mean...

Well, honestly, Matt's
right where he needs to be.

Uh, let me put it this way.

Elizabeth Taylor
stars in the movie.

She doesn't direct it,
you know what I mean?

No, but, um... yeah, but, okay.

I think I'm interested, yeah.

MURRAY: I'm doing my
best to connect with ya.

Let's talk numbers.

You'd be making 100K a year,
still no health insurance,

and three days in
Naples, Florida.

Wow. Naples, Florida.

That's...

I-I'm interested, yes.

Please submit my
name or whatever.

- MURRAY: All right.
- Yeah.

[upbeat jazz music]

♪ ♪

Beth! Hi!

Oh! Come here! [Laughs]

Hi! Hi!

Oh, you look so healthy.

Okay. Okay.

JANE: Oh. You look tired.

BETH: Mm-hmm.

How's your back?

- It was feeling better.
- Good.

I'm taking you to a fancy store.

Ooh.

JANE: How is my Matty?

He's good, he says "hi."

He loves you. JANE: Aw.

Oh, I love him. I love him back.

If anything ever
happens with you two,

I will be there for him.

I want him to know that.

BETH: That's... weird.

[grunts]

This place is expensive. We
should go somewhere else.

Elsewhere, and no.

I wanna get you
something from here.

I got approved for a Mastercard.

And I want you shopping
in stores like this,

not Always 22 or wherever
you normally shop.

Would you ladies care
for some champagne?

Oh, uh, no thanks.

- No.
- No thanks.

- No, I don't drink.
- I never have.

I have low blood sugar. But
my daughter drinks a lot.

[laughs]

But apparently not today.

[chuckles] Oh, um.

That's a lot of information
to give a stranger.

JANE: Yeah, well, it's fine.

She sells wine for a living.

- Oh! Dream job.
- What kind of wine?

Oh, mostly reds.

I... but I... I work for a
company called Kerig Cellars.

It's a wine distributor.

- Kerig.
- I thought that was coffee.

- That's what I always...
- Don't I always say that?

- You do.
- That's so funny.

- It's not that funny.
- So funny.

- It's really not.
- It's, um, yeah.

It-it's spelled differently,
and it's a wine company.

But it sounds the same, so.

Right, but it is different, so.

People think... anyway, now
I'm thinking about coffee.

I would like a cappuccino,

whole milk, dry, no sweetener.

I have my own Stevia in
my bag. SALESPERSON: Okay.

- This isn't, like...
- She's not a barista.

- Oh, she's fine.
- She can do it, she can do it.

What's your name, dear?

- Aminata.
- [Jane gasps]

Amina... Aminata?

AMINATA: Yeah. JANE: [gasps] Oh.

- Where are you from?
- Queens.

- My parents are from Mali.
- Oh.

I went to Peru last year.

Actually, I will take
the-the champagne.

Thank you.

JANE: Thank you, Aminata.

It's a beautiful name.

- Mali's nowhere near Peru.
- So?

It's-it's not a good thing.

Well, I'm... honey, I'm sorry.

People enjoy talking to me,
and that makes you jealous.

- It's okay.
- [sighs]

People like talking
to me. JANE: Mm-hmm.

A lot of people
like talking to me.

I'm up for a huge
promotion at work.

- JANE: Well. Mm-hmm.
- It's huge.

JANE: They're very
lucky to have you.

- Okay, well...
- Because it's a great job.

It's very great, actually.

People think it's
really... It's really cool.

- JANE: Mm-hmm.
- Okay?

And the-the clients
we're taking out tonight

are-are a big deal. JANE: Okay.

Well, sweetheart, I
just... I don't know.

I-I-I always thought

you would do
something... bigger.

Bigger?

What are you talking
about? I make good money.

JANE: No, I'm... no.

I mean, like more
special. Like volleyball.

You were always so
good at volleyball.

BETH: Oh, my God, Mom.

You think I should be

a professional
volleyball player?

Well, that's just one example.

All I'm saying, sweetheart,

you can be anything
you wanna be.

[phone chimes] Oh.

Oh.

[chuckles]

[laughs]

Are you seeing someone?

JANE: Jerome is a friend.

Um...

A friend?

A very special friend.

He also happens
to be the only man

I have ever truly cared about.

That's great, Mom.

I invited him to Matt's party.

What?

- JANE: What?
- Well...

I can't believe you're
not happy for me.

Is it appropriate, Mom?

I mean, is he single?

Oh.

[clears throat]

We are just friends.

And you know what?

You are unhappy
in your own life.

[scoffs] I am so happy.

I am probably the most
happy, satisfied person

in this entire mall.

I am. I love my cool life.

I have a cool job, I
have a great apartment,

and Matt, my boyfriend,
is a New York eight.

Nine. Eight.

AMINATA: How's it
going in here, ladies?

- Great! So great!
- I'm gonna get the jumpsuit!

It's the only jumpsuit I've
ever truly cared about.

- AMINATA: Congratulations.
- Thank you.

JANE: Beth. BETH: No, it's fine.

Mom, it's totally fine.

I am just in a rush, okay?

Well, honey, you
have a camel twat.

Toe, Mom. I have camel toe.

Okay? That's what I have.

I love you, okay?

I'm... I just... and thank
you for this jumpsuit.

I just have to go get
ready for tonight.

Well, maybe take a shower.

I'm gonna shower already, Mom!

I don't need you to
tell me to shower!

You know, I'm just...
I... I'm-I'm just...

I'm really happy. JANE: Okay.

I just want you to know that.

And thank you for
coming with me, okay?

- JANE: I love you.
- Okay, I love you.

- JANE: Mm-hmm.
- Okay.

I-I don't know why I got
mad. JANE: It's okay.

- I'm sorry.
- I-I don't know why I got upset.

I'm just... okay, goodbye.

- JANE: Goodbye.
- Thank you.

- You're welcome, sweetheart.
- She has her period.

I can always tell.
Her face gets...

BETH: I don't have my period.

Aminata, I don't have it.

But it would be fine
if I did, but I don't.

- I love you.
- I love you.

Thank you. Goodbye.

She does.

I don't... I don't care.

Thank you, Aminata.

This feels cold.

- Why are you calling me?
- What happened?

Is Dad dead?

No.

Uh... did you see Mom?

Yeah, we had a really
nice time shopping.

ANN: Bullshit. Why
are you calling me?

I call you.

When you wanna
complain about Mom.

You are so hard on her.

Anything else?

All right, I-I have
one tiny, little thing

I might wanna complain
about, but if I tell you,

you have to stay...
ANN: Hold on.

Alexa, please stop the music.
BETH: You have to stay calm.

I'm perfectly calm.

Okay.

I think Mom's dating
another married guy.

Look, she said
they're just friend.

Maybe they are, but...
ANN: Yeah, okay.

You probably made her feel
like it was all good, right?

Pretty much. But no... I... no.

I-I planted a seed.
I, like, stormed out.

Yeah, right.

BETH: Like, she
knew I was annoyed.

And that I didn't
approve, you know?

She... she's probably
still sitting there,

charming the saleswoman.

'Cause she cares more about
what perfect strangers

think of her than her own kids.

I just feel guilty.

Do you think I should
call her and apologize?

[sighs]

Alexa, resume music.

[phone beeps] BETH: Annie?

Annie?

[upbeat jazz music]

♪ ♪

Hi, Matt. MATT: Hey!

[sighs]

Did you get me Sour Patch Kids?

Yeah, they don't carry
'em at our bodega anymore.

I know. Thanks.

I'm grabbing a drink with those.

Glaser Group people
before karaoke.

You wanna come
with? [Beth sighs]

I'm invisible to them.

Wanna have sex?

After I shower?

It's-it's just my class
is about to start.

Otherwise, I'd get you
pregnant right now.

- What does that mean?
- What do you...

MATT: Uh, it's an expression.

I don't know about that.

[sighs] I don't
even wanna have sex.

MATT: This instructor
is a beast.

How's your mom?

[instructor speaking
indistinctly]

We left it kinda weird.

Maybe I should call her.

She told me.

She wants you to call her.

You know, I don't love that
you guys talk that much.

MATT: Babe, sing
at karaoke tonight.

Try to just, you know,
be fun to be around.

I'm awesome to be around.

[stammers]

You can tell I'm happy, right?

Hey, babe, we're in Paris!

Personal best, babe!

[upbeat jazz music]

♪ ♪

[mellow jazz music]

♪ ♪

[line trilling]

JANE: Hi, this is Jane.

Leave a message, and
I'll call you back.

♪ ♪

[upbeat music
playing on speakers]

Hey, bitch! Fireball!

Do you ever worry you're
wasting your potential?

MERI: Oh, my God,
you have camel toe.

What's your favorite number?

I keep getting calls
from an unknown number.

Uh, 33?

And then what's another one?

- Four.
- Okay, that's your song.

I'm picking it for you.
Where's Matt? Matt!

Hey, slugger! BETH: Hey.

Come on. Come meet Diane.
She wants to meet you.

- I'm the one they call.
- MATT: All right, so what?

I've met Diane,
like, eight times!

MATT: Hey, don't... Jesus,
Beth, she's a drinker, okay?

Just turn it on, all right?

I'm too drunk to, like,
explain to you right now.

Diane! Beth.

- BETH: Hi!
- Great to meet you!

- BETH: Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.

How do you... How
do you know Matt?

Oh, um, uh,

how long you guys in town?

Oh, we're just, um, we're
just here for tonight.

We'll be back in a
couple of weeks, though.

- BETH: Okay.
- Yeah.

Uh, can we... just-just tell
me, what was your name again?

Oh, my sister's
calling, I'm sorry.

Anyone here ever been to Hawaii?

There's a little
girl who lives there,

and her name is Moana.

[cheers and applause]

MURRAY: No! No, no, no, no!

- Clark, no.
- Hello? Annie?

ANN: Hey, Beth, are you out?

What?

- ANN: Are you with Matt?
- Yeah, why?

ANN: Can you, like, go outside

or in another room or something?

- Uh, no.
- [chuckles]

ANN: Uh, well...

Mom d*ed.

You k*lled Mom?

ANN: No, I'm not joking.

They couldn't reach
you, so I got a call.

She's gone.

She was in a cab,

and it was chasing yellow
lights or something,

and I don't know.

They got hit.

Beth, hello?

Hello?

DJ: Coming to the
stage, we have Beth!

Beth is coming to the stage!

[cheers and applause]

MERI: Whoo! MURRAY:
You got this, kid.

- MERI: Whoo! You got it!
- You got this. Nice.

[Ace of Base's
"The Sign" playing]

♪ ♪

♪ I, I got a new life ♪

♪ You can hardly recognize
me, I'm so glad ♪

♪ How could a person
like me care for you? ♪

♪ Why do I bother ♪

♪ When you're not
the one for me? ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Is enough enough? ♪

♪ I saw the sign ♪

♪ And it opened up my
eyes, I saw the sign ♪

♪ Life is demanding
without understanding ♪

♪ I saw the sign ♪

♪ And it opened up my
eyes, I saw the sign ♪

♪ No one's gonna drag you up ♪

♪ To get into the light
where you belong ♪

♪ But where do you belong? ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I saw the sign ♪

♪ And it opened up my eyes ♪

♪ And I am happy now
living without you ♪

♪ I've left you, oh, oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ I saw the sign ♪

♪ And it opened up my
eyes, I saw the sign ♪

Drink!

MURRAY: Where you
going? MATT: My queen!

DJ: All right, I
guess Beth is done.

Uh, back to the
stage, we have Clark!

Anyone here like the ocean?

Here's a better question.

Anyone here a fan of the Rock?

[laughs] [cheers and applause]

[tense music]

♪ ♪

[gasps]

[singers vocalizing]

[Lucius' "The Punisher"]

♪ ♪

SINGER: ♪ Sticks and
stones break my bones ♪

♪ But words could k*ll me ♪

♪ I'm trying, trying
not to lose my head ♪

♪ It feels like a
punch in the face ♪

♪ The things you're saying ♪

♪ You gotta find another form ♪

♪ Of ventilation ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ Mm, mm, mm ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I know that it's
not me you are after ♪

♪ I know your chest is
burning with a heavy load ♪

♪ I can't be the matador
when you are raging ♪

♪ You gotta find another form ♪

♪ Of recreation ♪

It's so easy!