02x04 - Ruff's Big Break

[bunniefuu]

[electronic voice]: Hi, I am very cool.

My name is Ruff.

Pretty great, huh?

It's a prototype for the new Action-to-the-Maxion

Action Ruff Action figure, based on yours truly.

Oh, not impressed?

Well, you will be.

When I press this button on his back,

Action-to-the-Maxion will flip onto this plank,

perform some hip dance moves

and then execute black belt-level karate chops.

[click, whirring]

Go, action Ruff, go!

I am very cool. My name is Ruff.

[clattering]

It's just the prototype.

I mean, I've got a professional

puppeteer booked for today's show.

Now, he'll make Action Ruff, you know, actually work.

[electricity crackles]

Ah, the bulb needs tightening,

but I need to get the ladder out before I...

Wow, okay, not bad.

But it can't hold a candle

to the real Action-to-the-Maxion Ruff Ruffman.

You just watch me do some karate chop dance moves

on that fence in the yard.

Check it out. [karate yell]

[crashing, clattering, Ruff yelling]

Okay, not good.

Call my vet! Now!

RUFF: ♪ Life was missing its mystique ♪

♪ My squeaky toys had lost their squeak ♪

And then, out of the blue, I saw the phone and bam!

My destiny was calling me.

[instrumental jazz playing]

♪ Pitched my vision for a show

♪ They loved it, thought I was a pro ♪

♪ They got my contract back to find ♪

♪ To their alarm, a dog had signed ♪

♪FETCH!♪Oh, I like that name.

♪With Ruff Ruffman♪

♪ I didn't wait to renovate

♪ Found six contestants, all were great ♪

♪ And now I'm on the road to fame ♪

♪ I've got a game show and its name is... ♪

♪FETCH!♪

It's very catchy.

♪With Ruff Ruffman♪

It rolls off the tongue.

Wait, stop.♪With Ruff Ruffman.♪

Somebody want to tell me why we got cats singing?

And here come the contestants now!

She can fold her tongue two ways-- Nina!

He enjoys classical music-- Rosario.

He loves the smell of strawberries-- Willie.

She loves water parks, except when water goes up her nose.

It's Madi!

The beach makes her happy. Surf's up, Bridget.

He knows how to use a Chinese yo-yo. Yo, Mike!

Let's get an update on the score.

In sixth place with points is Rosario.

Willie has nose-dived to the five spot

with points.

Nina holds onto the four spot with points.

Bridget has jumped up to third place with points.

Madi in second place with points and our new leader

with points, Mike.

Hello, and welcome to FETCH!

the reality game show

where the action is definitely

to the maxion.

ALL: What happened to you?!

It may have seemed like I was dancing on top of a fence

in sunglasses to show off my balance to a cat,

but actually, I, I...

That's exactly what I was doing.

You're showing off to cat?

That's not even the worst part.

Charlene the poodle next door saw the whole thing.

Sorry, Ruff.

Oh...

It's so embarrassing.

I went to the vet and they put this cone on me

because I'm not supposed to lick the wound.

Believe me, I have no desire to lick any wound whatsoever.

It's probably just a sprain.

The vet says I might need an X ray, but [chuckles]

that would mean going to the animal hospital,

and that's not gonna happen.

ALL: Why not?

Because hospitals, um, are kinda scary.

No, they're not.

They're not scary, Ruff.

I don't do hospitals.

They freak me out a little bit.

But anyway, it brings us to challenge number one.

Now this is an important challenge

'cause it has to do with my psyche.

Convince your host that he's being

ridiculous about hospitals.

You're gonna meet my good buddy William.

He's gonna give you a tour of the hospital.

But all your instructions are in the mailbox,

so Rosario, Bridget, go fetch!

Have fun, you guys.Have fun.

Yeah! Have lots of fun at the hospital.

Now, then, pepper doodle Blossom over here thinks

she knows a thing or two about balancing,

which brings us to challenge number two.

Nice.

This is Dr. Rauch. He's an otologist.

He definitely knows about balancing,

and Willie, Mike, you definitely know a thing or two

about fetching for points.

Everything you need to know is in the mailbox.

Go fetch!Awesome, Ruff!

Ow, it hurts to say "fetch."

Bye, guys.

Bye, guys.

Now, as determined by the FETCH ,

Madi and Nina have stayed behind

in the studio this week.Yeah, yeah, yup!

They'll be eligible to win points during

the Half-Time Quiz Show.

Whoo!

And as always, we bring to you fresh,

aFETCH!fairness guarantee.

All the contestants will have competed

for the same number of points by the grand finale.

With the four kids out on the challenges,

up to points are at stake in the triumph tally.

So even though it gives me the heebie-jeebies...

Relax.

...let's go to the hospital with Rosario and Bridget.

I don't like hospitals.

[whimpering]

Okay, so we're looking for William.

Are you William?

Yes.

Hi, William, I'm Rosario.

I'm Bridget.

ROSARIO: Let's begin.

Where are we gonna start?The gift shop.

The gift shop?They have a lot of gifts.

Oh, yeah. Are there any dogs?

Look, Ruff, it's Charlene.

Looks just like her.

Oh, I don't want her to see me like this.

Somebody comb my fur.

So why do you have these casts?

Because I had surgery.

You're gonna meet Maria. She's one of the nurses here.

Hi, William.

I hear you guys are here because Ruff,

I heard you might have broke a bone.

I think so. Could be a femur.

When you fall, see, the bone sometimes breaks

just like a pencil or a branch on a tree.

WILLIAM: Where is the bone broke?

The bone broke right there.

See, it's not a straight line.

Oh, not at all. I'm gonna throw up.

See, it looks like after this one was fixed,

so the break is right there.

And the pins hold the bones straight.

Here's a picture of it when it was all fixed.

So that's just a normal leg? Yep.

Well, it looks good as new.

Oh, man, Willie and Mike are at another hospital.

BOTH: "Otology."

Second floor.

DR. RAUCH: Hi.There's the doctor.

BOTH: Hi. How you doing?

Good, I'm Dr. Rauch.I'm Willie.

Michael.How do you do?

We're here to learn some...

Something about otology.Yeah.

About otology? Do you know what otology is?

No. No.

"Oto" is a Latin word. It means "ear."

So I'm a ear doctor.

That means I take care of patients

who have trouble with hearing and with balance.

My hearing's good; balance, I'm having the problem.

Balance system is all through your body.

It gets information from your ears,

your eyes, your muscles--

and all of those sources of information

come together in your brain,

and then the balance system

sends signals back out again,

so you can walk and move around without falling over.

So what brings you guys here today?

Well, Ruff sent us to figure out how we can

get better at balancing.

Well, why don't you come with me and maybe we can

figure that out.Okay.

Wow, that's a big ear.

WILLIAM: Now I'm gonna show you your room.

Where we would stay overnight?

Yeah.

Hi.Who's this?

Abby. Hey, it's Abby!

So, how's the food?

Um, you just dial F-O-O-D

and you can order whatever food you want.

So you can have ice cream for breakfast? Mm-hmm.

Wait, really?

That's not bad.

I can get food this way? Oh, man!

F-O-O-D. Oh, what should I order, what should I order?

[phone rings]

Someone's on the other line.

Man! Hello.

Hey, Ruff, it's John.

John, hi.

John, I should know that.

John Kennedy, the puppeteer?

I forgot to cancel the puppeteer! Oh!

Where are the kids?

What kids? [gasps]

Um, um, they're in the children's hospital

and they're on the ninth floor.Okay.

Okay, a puppet hospital challenge.

We'll, uh... we'll roll with it! Yes. Ow!

And without all four legs,

rolling's pretty much all we can do.

DR. RAUCH: We have some ways to see

what you need your vision for.

What do you need your muscles for?

What do you need your ears for?

Try to take the balance system apart

into its different pieces; and you really need

two out of three to balance.

So, if you couldn't see, you couldn't balance?

It's harder.

In fact, it's a great question.

If you stand with your feet together,

it's easy to stand.

What if you stand like that

and then you cross your arms.

Now close your eyes.

When you close your eyes, you're taking away the vision.

It's harder.

You're just using your ear and wiggling around trying

to use your muscles to stay up.

What about your buddy Ruff?

So what's your advice for him?

Take off the glasses.

Okay, good-bye dark glasses.

I get it. You need to see well in order to balance well.

ROSARIO: So, William, where are we going to now?

The Activity Room.

The last stop on our tour.

All right.The activity room.

Thank you. I got to go.

ROSARIO: Thanks, William.Feel better, Ruff.

Thanks, William.

You, too, buddy.

I told the puppeteer to meet them here.

Where is he?

This is cool.

Hi. Oh!

[laughs]Oh, there he is.

I'm Bernie the Pig. How you doing?

Good. Good.

[all laughing]Hey, Ruff, how's it going?

Uh, not too bad, Bernie, you know.

I got my legs tied up-- I'm talking to a puppet.

Now let me introduce you to my creator.

[chuckles]

Hi, everybody.

Hey, John. Hi.

I'm John Kennedy and I'm a puppeteer.

Oh, cool.And today,

I'm gonna teach you how to make your own puppets...

BRIDGET: Oh, awesome....how to perform them,

and then we're going to do a show for Ruff

about his stay here at the hospital.

It'll take a lot more than a puppet show to make me come

to the hospital.

Let me show you some of the puppets in my trunk

that I brought all the way up to the ninth floor.

Wh-What? What are you looking at me for?

Here they are.You made all those?

I made all these puppets.

ROSARIO: Those are awesome.I even made Bernie.

Yeah, don't forget about me. Ha, ha, ha.

These are awesome.Well, thanks.

There are five balance organs

in the ear.

RUFF: Now they're going to test their inner ear.

The inner ear, where the balance organs are,

is filled with fluid, and when you spin real fast,

the fluid is moving.

After you've twirled around

and you get that inner ear fluid moving,

it makes the brain think you're still moving.

Just like,

uh, stirring water in a glass, and if you stop stirring,

the water keeps swirling for a little bit? Yeah.

And so your balance system takes ear information,

takes eyes, and kind of connects them.

This is a fancy camera.

Let me show you what this does.

It's infrared. Now look at the screen.

WILLIE: Whoa. That's awesome.You see my eyes?

We're going to have one of you guys spin around.

Try to catch your tail, Mike.We'll see your eyes on the camera.

Open your eyes wide-- what are they doing?

WILLIE: They're moving.

They're, like, crazy, and they're cross-eyed.

Like they're still moving-- but he's not moving.The ears

are telling the brain that you're turning,

so the eyes are doing what they do when you turn.

So when you stop spinning around,

your brain thinks you're still turning?

So you shouldn't spin next time, Ruff.

Don't spin. Your eyes twitch.

You can't tell a dog not to spin.

I mean, seriously, with this tail, it's too tempting.

Hi, Ruff Ruffman here-- in agony.

[moans]

Back in Studio G

with Madi and Nina.

Are you girls ready for the Half-Time Quiz Show?

Good, it's timeBOTH: Yeah!

to earn some points of your own.

points are available.

You have seconds to answer

as many questions as you can.

Ten questions available at five points apiece.

Okay, are you ready?

Yeah.

Then let the quiz begin.

My favorite word. Awesome.

Correct.

Here's the department...

WILLIE & MIKE: Otology.

On their hospital tour...

Great.

Correct.

Uh, uh, sunglasses.The glasses.

Excellent.

BOTH: Because the fluid in their ears...

The inner ear, where the balance organs are,

is filled with fluid, and when you spin real fast,

the fluid is moving.

Correct.

"You can't balance without vision" -- true or false?

Uh... uh...

FETCH: Correct.

Ernie the Pig!FETCH: Who?

Yeah, Ernie! Ber--

Ernie or Bernie?

Is it Ernie or Bernie?

You're wrong. [sighs]

What's it called?

Laser eye? Skip. Laser eye.

[makes buzzing sound]

We're done!

Whew!

Guess how many points you got? BOTH: How many?

. That's pretty good.Yeah!

All right, let's go over the questions you didn't get right.

It's Bernie the Pig.

Really, all Bernie is is Ernie with a "B."

BOTH: Oh.

Still, points

[groaning]: is awesome.

Oh, it hurts.

Ruff, you need to get to a doctor.

I know; that's what my fetchers are out there

trying to convince me of.

Now let's get back to Willie and Mike,

whose challenge hangs in the balance.

[weak laugh]

See, I'm not too much in pain

to throw a joke out there, right? Eh?

Another piece of the balance system is

your muscles.

Your muscles are also sending

information to help you stand up straight

and move around without falling over.

And host a fantastic reality game show.

Yes, okay.

Whoa!DR. RAUCH: This is a testing machine

that lets us take away some of that information

a little bit at a time.

Michael, this is a test where we're going

to let you use your eyes

and inner ear to balance,

but we're not going to let you use your muscles.

RUFF: How do you keep somebody from using their muscles?

DR. RAUCH: When you lean forward or back,

the floor is going to move forward or back with you,

so it's stealing information

that usually comes from your ankle muscle.

Normally, when you're standing on the floor

and you lean forward, the floor pushes back on your feet,

but when Mike leans forward on this platform,

the floor tilts forward, too,

so his muscles can't send his brain any information

to help him balance.

He's all over the place.

It was a little bit harder than I thought,

when you can't use your muscles

'cause the muscles play an important role in balance.

What are you going to tell Ruff?

We're going to tell Ruff to take off his glasses,

take off the foam shoes,

and the best thing is not to dance on a fence.

Very good advice, Willie, thank you.

Time out here; I got to give these guys a call.

Hey, guys.

Oh, hey, Ruff. Hey, Ruff.

I need you guys to head to the park.

Park?Uh, where's the park?

It's outside.Where outside?

It's the one outside the door.

[both laughing]

Okay, we'll look for it.

Okay, well, we'll try and look for it, all right?

Thank you.

Thank you, Dr. Rauch.Thanks a lot.

You're welcome.

Bye, bye.

MIKE & WILLIE: Bye.

JOHN: We're trying to establish some scenes here.

Ruff's accident.

Do you remember what happened with that?

BRIDGET: Yeah, he fell off a fence.

He was on a fence, um...

Trying to, like, act like a cat.

So we'll start out with this whole little, uh,

jealousy thing that he has,

'cause it's great to show puppets and their emotions.

Right?

Me? Jealous?

Of a cat?

Eh, please!

Who'd you meet on the tour?

We met...

Maria-- she was a nurse.Oh, she's a nurse.

Would you like to play Ruff, then?

Sure. Yeah?

It'd be an honor.

My initial choice was Robert De Niro.

But you know what? Right after that,

Rosario would be an excellent Ruff Ruffman.

So you could play Maria the bunny nurse.

Okay. Right, and you come in and you sort of console him.

We're going to perform this for the whole hospital.

This could be fun.

We've just got to make the puppets.

You think that's big enough for Ruff's body? Yeah.

I like it.

Now, this is the pattern

for the sweatshirt sheep that you're going to make.

You glue that in and then you're going to slide it

into the elastic of the sleeve.

Some gray felt for the inside of his mouth.

Is the inside of my mouth gray, really?

Ah...

Ah, it's too dark in there.

The basis of his face.

That's looking good.Hey, that's starting to look like me.

Good. Great.

[Bridget bleating]

Oh, hey, got the glasses, too.

ROSARIO: Ruff Ruffman.

That's awesome.

Don't forget about the eyebrows

that hover above my head mysteriously.

All right, Willie and Mike are heading out to the park,

and look what I have waiting for them.

WILLIE: Look, look.

All right.

WILLIE: "From the desk of Ruff Ruffman.

"You think it's so easy to be me, huh?"

BOTH: "Dress like me, you lucky dogs!"

"Test your balance systems: muscle, vision, inner ear."

No!

Uh-oh.

This is going to be so hot.

That's right.

I want proof

that all the advice you gave me actually works.

Oh, snap.I got my buddies there

to laugh at you when you wipe out.How are we supposed

to put a helmet on?Yeah, I don't see

how you put up with all this fur.

And fat.

[panting]I want to see what happens

when you mess up the information your brain gets

from your balance systems.

Oh. It looks like Ruff set this up for us.

That's supposed to represent

the fence that he climbed on.

I guess we're supposed to test

our balance.

Let's try inner ear-- ready?

Set, go.

Remember, when they stop moving,

the fluid will still be spinning,

so they won't be able to use their inner ears

to help them balance. Oh, hey, run the straight line.

Did I make it?

Let's try it again.

Ring around the Ruffman. Ready, set, go.

♪ Go, go, go, go, go...

[laughs]Oh, Mike's on the pavement.

Willie made it.I want a rematch.

♪ Go, go, go, go, go...

Come on, Mike.

Balance, balance, balance, sort of, a little bit, maybe.

Oh, wipeout!

What was that?

I think it was a tie.

Not so easy, is it?

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our show.

Wow, he's really good at that.

I hope you enjoy Ruff Ruffman and, uh...

What should we call the show?

Uh... Hmm.

Hospital experience?

KENNEDY: Once upon a time,

there was a cat who could dance on a fence

with the greatest of ease.

I don't know, who cares about a cat.[meowing]

Boo!

Show us your jealous face.

Wait-- remove "jealous" and just say "watching."

"Casually observing."

As soon as he does his jealous face,

the cat will disappear, right?

Why don't you bark at him or...

What would Ruff do?

Would Ruff bark? Would you bark?

Yeah, I don't really bark much anymore.

I send angry letters.

I'm coming.

[groaning]

Ruff, what's the matter?

I broke my leg.

Is that Ruff Ruffman or Marge Simpson?

I think we need to go to the hospital. What?!

The hospital?

♪ There's foo-ood!

Okay. Carry me.

That's going to be wonderful, guys.

Rosario, I'm definitely recording my own voice.

Okay, so... What is this stuff?

Um, I don't know.

Shaving cream!

Oh, look, we have a stopwatch, foam shoes...

I think we have to do it...

Vision and, uh, muscles are left.

Let's try muscles.

I can't believe we're gonna have to walk across in foam shoes.

That's right.

The foam shoes are gonna mess up their muscle information.

Ready, set, go. Nope, I'm gonna fall.

You can do it!

Oh!

Oh, he's doing well.

Don't fall.He's almost made it.

Maybe it is easier for these guys.

[screaming and laughing]

You all right? You all right?

Oh, he's covered in it.

[laughing]: Oh, no.

Oh, I'm trying not to laugh, 'cause that's kind of mean.

[Ruff chuckles]

Okay, see that's what I needed at the base of my fence.

A nice cushion and some shaving cream.

All right, it's my turn. Okay, yeah.

Uh-oh.

Let's see how Willie does.

Go.

I'll support you from over here.

Wow. He made it!

Oh!Ten seconds. Yeah!

Nicely done, Willie.

Now, it's time for a visual.

Let's see how well these kids can balance

when they can't see.

[screams]Oh.

Aw, hey, that's not far.

Oh, he should be covered in the stuff.

Now, they're blindfolded now.

It's a lot harder.Uh-oh.

You're taking away the vision.You got it, you can do this.

I shouldn't be rooting for a wipeout, I really shouldn't,

All right, you can jump.but this is just too tempting.

And M Dawg made it across.

Nice job, Mike.

Nice. Whoo!

All right, so, uh,

it isn't easy being you, Ruff.

But it was an awesome challenge.

See you back at the garage!

It's Studio G, Ruff.

I mean Mike.

Wow, is that what I look like from the back?

Oh, I need to diet.

It's time for the show.

So, we're just getting ready.

Everybody's prop set? Yup.

Group hug, everybody. Yes.

Break a leg. No wait, don't.

Good luck.It's s grand moment.

[applause]

Hey, I'm Bernie the Pig,

and I want to welcome you

to Ruff Ruffman's Hospital Experience.

Once upon a time, there was a cat

who could dance like nobody's business.

Now, the cat could dance okay.Yeah.

And you know who was jealously watching

this cat dance? Ruff Ruffman.

Our hero.

I bet I could do that.

All right, boys,

let me hear, "FETCH!"

Go, Ruff!

♪ With Ruff Ruffman

But then, Ruff Ruffman got a little off-balance.

No. Whoa, whoa.

Then he started... he started to fall!

[gasps] Oh, dear.

In slow motion.

[sighs]

We need help.

Hello, Ruff.

What's the matter?

I think I broke my left leg.

[moans]

Well, I'm going to take you to the hospital.

And make it all better.

What?!

The hospital?

♪ There's foo-ood!

Then maybe I should go.

I would probably go if I knew there was food involved.

Wah-hah!

[grunts] Ruff Ruffman could not resist food.

And so, Maria the nurse carried him

to the hospital.

Howdy, Ruff.

I work in the hospital.

It's really not that baa-d.

[laughs]

Just a little bit of gauze.

Not too much at all.

Just, just a little tiny bit.

[screams] And, uh, there you go.

So, what happened?

How does he feel?

Everybody say, "FETCH!"

Well, he's up and dancing.

With Ruff Ruffman.

Yeah!

And he lived happily ever after.

He healed up just like that.

That's not so bad.

I could handle that.

Get in there and bandage me up real quick.

Get a sandwich.

You guys did a wonderful job!

Y'all did, too.

Aww. Oh, thank you, Barney.

And all puppets aside,

you were great puppeteers.

See you back at the garage, Ruff.

See you back at the garage, Ruff Ruffman.

What am I the only Ruff that can get it straight?

All right, people, it's time to bring Mike and Willie back in.

[laughing]

Oh, hi!

You're Ruff Ruffman.

Oh, my God.

Okay, they gave life and personality to socks.

Bridget and Rosario.

Hey, guys!Hey, guys.

Oh, my gosh.

Look at you guys.

That is the coolest puppet of me ever.

Nice work, guys!

And just because I have a cone

on my head, doesn't mean I can't give out some points.

KIDS: Yeah!

All right.

Mike, Willie, for spinning

and wobbling your way to greater balance knowledge,

points.

[kids cheering]

For fulfilling your life long dreams

of being otologists for the day,

points.

Awesome. Yeah.

And for looking good.

How do I look, Ruff? I look like you?

RUFF: On re-enacting my less-than-proudest day,

points.

All right!

For a total of points!

[kids cheering]

Nice, you guys.

All right, Rosario, Bridget,

you've definitely eased my fears about hospitals.

ROSARIO [as Ruff]: What? I'm going to get a cast?

It's not that baa-d.

RUFF: Out of points, a solid .

[kids cheering]

And for making some awesome puppets,

including a pretty fab one of yours truly,

points.

All right. Nice!

And for writing and performing an excellent puppet show,

points.

Nice. Yeah.

For a total of points.

[cheering]

But... Good job.

is that all the points all these dogs can give?

KIDS: No.

What time is it?

ALL: Bonus points!

I have a rare double bonus point giveaway.

Bridget,

for not just leaving me on the ground

but performing an impromptu

puppet Ruff rescue mission instead,

[Bridget whoops] ! a bonus five points for you.

Nice. Yeah. Great job.

And Mike,

that dive into shaving cream may not have been pretty...

Whoa. [screams and laughs]

You all right? You all right?

...but it made for good TV.

Five points to you.

[kids cheering]

Which means...

Bridget, with points, you're today's daily winner.

All right, Bridget!

Now, Bridget,

we have here two cones.

Behind one is an amazing prize.

And behind the other...

the best I could get for cents.

Which is it going to be, cone A or cone B?

The cone on my head does not count.

Please do not select that one.

B.

Bridget, you will find your prize in the mailbox.

Go, Bridget.

Go, Bridget.

Oh.

Awesome.

That is so cool.

It's a "movie star Ruff."

Enjoy your Action-to-the-Maxion Ruff Ruffman doll.

Thank you very much.

Until next time, g*ng.

Keep looking like me.

All right. Bye-bye.

I'm going to the hospital.

Hey, great news, Blossom.

I've just come back from the animal hospital

and it's only a sprain.

So I don't need a cast, I just have to use crutches

for two weeks and wear this new cone.

Oh, you have to do some errands, okay. Oh.

Tuna sandwiches are on the table.

Well, done, Blossom.

[flies buzzing]Um...

Okay, this is a little difficult.

Ooh, I've got an idea.

Ha!

[splat]

Oh, that didn't work as well as I was hoping.

Uh, can someone get this cone off me, please?

Anyone!

Murray!



[Ruff scatting]

♪FETCH!♪

♪With Ruff Ruffman!♪

[Ruff scatting]

Oh, whatever.

♪FETCH!♪

♪With Ruff Ruffman!♪

♪FETCH!♪