01x20 - Story, Bored

[bunniefuu]

♪♪ ♪ Ben ! ♪

♪ Ben ! ♪

♪ Ben ! ♪

♪ Ben ! ♪

♪ Ben ! ♪

[ Ominous tones play ] [ Thunder crashes ]

You're sure it's haunted?

You promised me ghosts when Grandpa dropped us off.

Of course!

The guidebook says Castle Kleinhart was

once known as Witches End because anyone accused

of witchcraft who entered never left.

That sounds awesome, but, uh...

who are all these guys?

You're not cutting in line, are you?

I have no idea. [ Ding! ]

Ben: Uh-huh, and the huge "Welcome I.J. Crowling,

author of the 'Grimoire' book series" banner --

also no idea?

[ Ding! ] Complete surprise.

And speaking of surprises,

you should really read book one of her series.

It's all about this group of kids

who find an enchanted book.

You want to stay here in Dorksylvania, be my guest.

I'm going castle exploring.

You said you weren't cutting in line!

Old people.

Evenolder people.

Wonder if any of these creepers still haunt the place.

[ Snoring ]

What's that? Free admission for me?

Okay! Gonna need a brochure.

Thanks for everything!

[ Snorts ]

[ Groans ] More old stuff.

[ Thunder crashes ]

Hey! What's that?

Huh. No one.

But, whoa! Classy digs.

This room is called the Arba-- No.

The Arriba-co-uh... [P.A. system squeaks ]

Uh, attention, fans.

I.J. Crowling will be doing a live reading

right now in the Abraca-Torium.

"Abraca-Torium"! Yep! [ Rumbling ]

Uh-oh.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Geek storm!

Time to scoot! Rug!

[ All murmuring ]

[ Strained ] Don't mind me. I'm good.

[ Cockney accent ] Hello, my darling Grim-lings!

[ Cheers and applause ]

I love you, Crowling!

[ Cheering ]

[ Sighing ] Oh, brother. This should be good.

Something tells me you might like to hear me read

some excerpts from my latest release,

"The Grimoire Girls."

[ Cheers and applause ]

Wait a minute. That looks like...

Huh. I got to get my eyes checked.

Before I mesmerize you with my prose, special ones,

I have a very magical treat.

[ Crowd oohs ] Boy: Magic -- She said "magic"!

It was in this very castle that workers found

the legendary tome that inspired

my entire "Grimoire" series,

the fabled Grimoire of Archamada!

[ Crowd oohs ]

Ooh!

[ Mockingly ] "O-o-o-o-o-ooh!"

My ancient Coptic may be rusty, but this translation is

still sure to impress you.

[ Clears throat ]

"An account of Xus, King of Snakes and his"

uh..."makeover"?

"And so it was that in the realm of the serpents,"

uh, "slithered the mightiest of all --

King Xus!"

This book is isn't grim. It's asnooze.

Out of here! "And lo, Xus vowed

to," uh... "regurgitate his...wig"?

"At," uh..."brother for putting him

in the cookie jar of doom."

Think that's right. "Cookie jar of doom"?

Enough!

Excuse you!

I will tolerate no more of your senseless,

blundering babble.

You have no idea the power you hold in your hands.

Aah!

Are you part of the promotion?

Me manager didn't mention this bit.

So let me show you the true power

of the Grimoire of Archamada.

Xus ego te vincula at legabunt

te in foveam animae meae.

Da mihi potestatem, ut regat!

Something tells me this isn't part of the reading.

These effects are amazing. She's genius.

I feel the power of Xus flowing through me, changing me...

[ Voice deepens ] M-making me more than Hex,

more than Xus.

I am now Hexxus!

I'm good to go now if you are. Mommy, mommy!

[ All screaming ]

[ Growls ]

Ow!

Didn't your mother teach you not to take things

that don't belong to you?

Ah, a heroine takes the stage.

A trifle, but Hexxus welcomes the entertainment.

[ Chuckles ]

Let's see you rescue a damsel in distress.

Hexxus: Delicious. [ Laughs ]

Dinner and a show. [ Slurps, hisses ]

Oh! Stop doing that!

My cousin says books are good for your head,

but I guess your head's the exception, "Sn-n-nex!"

You okay?

Yeah, just help us get out of here.

Oh, I don't think that creature was hired by me manager.

[ Growls ]

Got to dash.

You work on getting Crowling out and leave "Hexnut" to me.

[ Hisses ]

[ Growls ]

[ Roars ]

A-a-a-oww! Ooh!

Your dentist is not gonna like that one bit.

Let me try and even those out for you -- uh... [ Beeping ]

[ Wibble! ] Aah! Ugh!

[ Hisses ] Aah!

Have you ever wanted to fly, little gnat?

[ Screams ]

Ow.

Ben, you need to grab that book --

What is it with you and books?

You have bigger things to worry about.

[ Hissing ]

Aah! Whoa!

[ Thunder crashes ]

I've enjoyed our little dance, childling,

but your time is up.

Dance -- with you? As if!

I -- Hey, is that a giant mouse?

Where? I'm famished! I --

This might not be the best time to mention this, Ms. Crowling,

but I really, really love the part of your book where --

Less fan-out, more help out. Itimed out!

The book -- You need the book!

Really? Trying to sell me your book -- now?!

No, Ben! She's saying the book --

Later, when I'm not snake bait!

I am invincible, child! You think?

'Cause I think it's curtains for you!

[ Grunting ]

[ Growls ]

[ Panting ]

[ Hissing ]

[ Grunts ]

And, thus, our time together comes to an end.

Once I finish with you, little rat,

I will use the power of the Grimoire to force

every living creature on earth to crawl

on their bellies before me!

You know, you might want to rethink that whole

"take over the world" plan.

Most people hate snakes and...

You are stalling.

Am I? Yes.

Are y-o-o-ou su-r-r-r-re?

Yes! Busted.

Aah! [ Grunts ]

[ Screams ]

What?

I think you mean"who" -- or is it "whom"?

Grammar isn't my best thing.

Either way, it's Diamondhead.

Your power of transformation is no match for my magic!

You kidding? I'm --

Wh-o-o-oa! Whoa! Whoa!

Hexxus: Not again!

First time I've liked books all day.

You cannot best me.

You are a fragile crystal ready to shatter.

[ Grunting ] Who's...fragile?

Ohh!

Ben, did you get the book?

I get it -- She wrote the book. You love the book.

It isn't time to read the book!

It's the source of his power, blockhead.

My head is not that blocky.

Playtime is over, children!

Nunc ego sum, in colubrum.

[ Echoing ] Sed non est in colubrum!

Wait -- I think that book is the source of his power!

[ Laughs ]

And, now, this chapter ends.

W-was that a joke?

[ Grunts ]

[ Normal voice ] The Grimoire -- return it!

Sorry. That book is overdue.

See, nowthat's a joke.

Ow! Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow! [ Whining ] Ow!

Reading is fundamental.

Lispus owen victo ana mi sus!

[ Squeaking ]

To be continued, children!

Oi, did you see that?

The power of the written word.

Oh, that reminds me --

I have to go get my copy of "Grimoire Girls."

So, would you mind signing this for...a friend?

Yeah. Your friend's name?

Ben.

Don't make it weird.

Filming? Check.Matching wristbands and headband?

Check.

Treadmill? Check.

And, now, to set up a new speed record.

Warming u-u-u-up.

Going fa-a-a-st!

Faster than a locomotive!

Faster than lightning!

New record, here I come!

[Alert beeps] What?

[Zap!] Aaaaaaah!

Ow-owww!

Unpredictable alien watch timing out?

Check.

[thud] Ouch. [Beep-beep]

Time to throw stuff.

♪♪