03x19 - The Ol' Switcheroo

[bunniefuu]

Blossom, this is the tenth dirty sock

of yours you've left just lying about. Come on.

Oh, and I suppose you're not the one eating

all my pickled eggs either?

You don't like pickled eggs?

Yeah, me neither.

What's this?

The Canine Actors Guild is playing

in a charity hockey game.

[yells]

And I've been recruited to play goalie!

Yeah, I know I said I once played

for the Schnauzers, but...

Who's the best team with the snazziest trousers?

Go... Schnauzers!

But I was just a mascot!

[screaming]: And now I have to be goalie?!

[with deep voice]: Uh-oh, I just gave myself a sore throat.

You think this will be enough protection?

I don't think so.Scruff! So you've been eating my picked eggs.

I've been living in your basement practicing.

The Canine Actors Guild is playing

their charity match against the Poodle Island

Ex-Inmate Alumni hockey team.You mean...?

I'll be slapping my -mile-an-hour slap sh*ts

right at you, brother.

Blossom, fire up the .

I've got a show to host.

What? I have a show to host.

He's trying to trick you.

Don't worry, I'll get some throat lozenges.

RUFF: ♪ Life was missing its mystique ♪

♪ My squeaky toys had lost their squeak ♪

And then, out of the blue, I saw the phone and bam!

My destiny was calling me.

[instrumental jazz playing]

♪ Pitched my vision for a show

♪ They loved it, thought I was a pro ♪

♪ They got my contract back to find ♪

♪ To their alarm, a dog had signed ♪

♪ FETCH! ♪Oh, I like that name.

♪ With Ruff Ruffman ♪

♪ I didn't wait to renovate

♪ Found six contestants, all were great ♪

♪ And now I'm on the road to fame ♪

♪ I've got a game show and its name is ♪

♪ FETCH! ♪

It's very catchy.

♪ With Ruff Ruffman ♪

It rolls off the tongue.

Wait, stop.♪ With Ruff Ruffman. ♪

Somebody want to tell me why we got cats singing?

♪ FETCH! ♪

And here come the contestants now.

His third favorite TV show is the news.

Your first favorite better not be that cat grooming show.

It's DJ!

She once trained a hermit crab

to slide down a slide.

It's Noel!

She had a hermit crab, too.

Not as trainable.

Harsha!

His nickname is "Allo." Well, hello, hello to...

Sam!

Doesn't like sushi, loves bananas.

So a little ice cream, some chocolate sauce,

and she'll love my new sushi split.

No?

It's Sammy!

[pronounced as the fish]: He loves to play the bass...

No, wait, that's a fish.

[pronounced as the instrument]: Oh, the bass.

Jay!

Let's get an update on the scores.

DJ and Noel are tied for fifth place with , points.

Jay has dropped to fourth place with , points.

Sam has slipped to third place with , points.

Harsha has leapfrogged to second place

with , points.

And Sammy is in first

with , points.

[gargling]

Hello, FETCHers.

Welcome to another episode of...

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm drawing the line here.

Now you can't host my show.

Sorry, guys, this is my brother Scruff.

Hey, Scruff.

ALL: Hi, Scruff.

You can practice your hockey in the basement, but...

Why don't you go in the basement?

Step into my shoes for a change.

You don't even wear shoes.

[grumbling]: Fine...

You really handled that well.

I gotta love him. He is my brother.

Scruff's in town because he's playing hockey

for the Poodle Island Ex-Inmate Alumni hockey team

in a charity game against the Canine Actors Guild.

Which I'm a member of.

And I'm playing goalie.

And I don't even know which end of the stick to hold.

But I've got a plan.[all groaning]

And that plan is called challenge #.

All right.Yeah.

DJ, Harsha,

I'm counting on you.

Your hockey gear is in the wagon,

and everything else you need to know

is in the mailbox.

So... go fetch!See you guys.

Awesome.

Bye, guys.

Lot's of stuff.See ya.

All right, good luck, guys.

Hi, Blossom.

So did you hear that, Blossom?

Scruff thinks he can do a better job of hosting the show than I.

[laughing]

Ruff, I don't think Blossom's laughing.

What, what's this? The viewer ratings jumped points

when Scruff said hi to the contestants?

Uh-oh.

Okay, okay, look, that's just a fluke.

Doing somebody else's job is not easy.

It's a challenge.

In fact...Oh, boy.

it's challenge #.

Jay, Noel,

the switcheroo is on.

Your new families are waiting for you.

Your instructions are in the mail box.

So, go... fetch!

Bye, guys.Bye, you guys.

See you, Ruff.Bye, guys.

See ya.

As determined by the Fetch ,

Sam and Sammy are staying behind in Studio G.

They'll be eligible to win points

during the Half-Time Quiz Show.

And just as Honest Abe would have said...

I promise you the Fetch fairness guarantee.

All of the contestants will have competed

for the same number of points by the grand finale.

For the four kids out on the challenges, up to points

are at stake in the triumph tally.

Okay, Fetch -- today Noel is Jay, and Jay is Noel.

Let's take a look at their schedules. Good, good.

Now, prepare for swapification.

FETCH : Swapification complete.

Huh. Probably didn't need to buy

swapification software to do that.

There we go.

Oh, this is a note from Ruff.

"You have three assignments:

[doorbell rings]

Hey, I hear you're filling in for Jay today.

Come on in.

Hi, Jay. I know that you're filling in for Noel today.

That would be me.

Come on out here.

We're going to have bulgogi.

Bulgogi?

Bulgogi-- that is a Korean marinated beef.

Ooh, marinated beef!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Going to have a salad.

Do you know how to dice?

Yes. Okay.

RUFF: Look at that-- gloves.

Oh, that looks tasty.

Maybe I should eat more salad.

I mean, I do have the salad bar attachment. [sniffing]

Hey, Noel.

We have some vacuuming to do here in the pool.

Oh, a vacuum?!

Just vacuum the leaves up?Absolutely.

NOEL: Ruff, are you afraid of pool vacuums?

Uh... yes I am.

And I am also afraid of being

a goalie tonight.

Yeah!

Come on, guys.

Ah, good, the FETCHers have shown up.

And ice is a little slippery, isn't it?

Uh-oh.

Wow, this goalie's really good.

How do you do that?

I want to play like him. Who is this guy?

Hi, guys.Oh, it's Joe!

I'm Joe. I'm a goalie, and I'm also a goalie coach.

And I understand Ruff's going to be a goalie

and needs a little help.

Looks like Team Ruffman has a tooth knocked out already.

JOE: This is a puck sh**ting machine.

Down there-- that's actually a Ruff replica, all right?

DJ: A rufflica.

A rufflica. Oh, I like that.

I'll upload that one to Wikipedia.

And we're going to show what would happen to poor Ruff

if he didn't have all the pads

that a goalie wears in a game, all right?

Wait a minute. Wait, what are you going to do to me?

Wait a minute, that's a quality picture of me.

[yelling]

My eye!

My eyebrow!

Wait, my mouth!

What are you doing?!

Gotta hurt.

Ooh.

Looks like Ruff lost a few pounds.

JOE: He did lose a few pounds.

I lost a few everything.

Oh, I'm gonna be sick.

We got to find a way to protect him better

so he can become a better goalie and a safer goalie.

Okay.All right?

That looks good.Thanks.

The milk's out front.

It needs to be put in the refrigerator.

The milk's out front?

What year is this?

I didn't even know people still do that.

Table set.

Oh, there's the beef.

It's hot, so be careful.

How is it?

Phenomenal.

This is Adeline, Charlotte.

Do you know how to use chopsticks?

I know how to use them.

I could run this show with chopsticks.

I know I can do this.

There. [laughing]

Ruff, eat your heart out.

I'd rather eat the bulgogi.

JOE: When we were out on the ice,

we kind of gave Ruff a hard time out there, didn't we?

Pretty much destroyed him.Pretty much destroyed him, okay.

Oh, no, no, happens all the time.

I'm used to hockey pucks flying through my torso!

I mentioned the equipment has two purposes:

One is, you're trying to stop the puck

and not let any goals in.

But most importantly...?

DJ: Protection.Protection.

I'm not worried about stopping the puck at this point.

I'm worried about living.

Why is it you think this equipment actually does the job?

HARSHA: When we were sh**ting on you in the beginning,

I noticed that the puck seemed to bounce off of you.

So maybe the material is one that, like, deflects it.It does.

What happens is, when a puck comes at you

it comes at you with great force.

It, like, slows it down.It does slow it down.

And we've got to figure out why does it

slow it down so that by the time it gets to your leg,

all you feel is a little vibration.

You don't feel that jolt.

Kind of feels like foam on it.You're way ahead of us.

You notice all the different layers.

The first one's actually kind of hard.

HARSHA: Really tightly packed.Feel that.

That is solid.

That takes the most of the jolt. That's what I need.

Then it slows it down.

The next one, you can feel--

this is a softer rubber.HARSHA: Mm-hmm.

And then all this stuff here, feel all that.

Not only is there a lot of different stuff,

there's a lot of air in there.

DJ: Like when the puck hits it,

it hits this with a lot of force.

And then it has to travel through all of this.That has to move, too.

And then when the force hits your leg

then it's barely anything.

Oh, I see.

So the first stiff layer spreads the jolt

over your whole leg.

And then the soft layers make it take longer

for the puck to slow down.

The longer it takes the puck to stop,

the less force it will have on your body.

Let me show you something else.

Oh, cool. Cool.

Newton's cradle. Newton's cradle?

This is the puck coming at the front of the pad.

There's still a lot of force traveling

through those three balls.

So like, if that was the puck,

and I was your leg, your leg would still feel. Exactly.

So now we want to show what would happen if we add padding.

This will be a make-believe goalie pad right here.

What's happening here?

You leg barely feels any force.Yeah.

Why is that?Foam slows it down,

because the ball has to get through

all those tiny pieces of foam.

That's right-- the foam makes the ball take longer

to come to a stop.

Now our job is to build something for Ruff.

Not this little piece of foam here.

But you guys have to construct some goalie pads

that have all these different levels.

And don't leave out any levels, guys.

Make sure all the levels are taken care of.

[phone ringing]

Excuse me, guys.

Hello.

Hey what do you do

when you hang out with your siblings?

Well, usually I'll jam with my brother.

You jam with your brother? That's weird.

That's not weird. What do you do with your siblings?

I make movies with them, like music videos.

That's weird.

Jammin' out and making movies, that's cool.

Come on it.

What Jay and I usually like

to do during the day is, we jam.

Okay, so we have milk delivery-- so it's -something.

And now we've been teleported to the 's.

I play the acoustic and electric six-string guitar.

And he plays the electric bass.

Ooh...

It's heavy.

Yeah, see this string right here? Mm-hmm.

Maybe you could just hit that few times. Cool.

Hey, sounds good.

Keep that going.

♪ Life was missing its mystique ♪

♪ Squeaky toys had lost their squeak ♪

♪ And then, out of the blue, I saw the phone and bam ♪

♪ My destiny was calling me

♪ Was calling me.

Switch. Great job you jammed like a pro, man.

You could be a musician any day.

Thank you. Nice meeting you. There you go, Noel.

Good bass playing.

So, what we usually do is, we make movies with Noel.

All right.

She usually puts makeup on us first.

Makeup? I'm putting makeup on you?

This is blush.

You put it on our cheeks.Okay.

All right, pink-tastic.

Okay, next victim.

Lip gloss.

Oh, boy.

Uh, you got a little globule there.

That's very purple.

Do we have any tissues?

You messed me up.

[laughing]

All right, makeup, check.

Here's the camera that we use. so...All right.

Okay.[lush classical music playing]

Lovely. Excellent camera work.

Boy, I tell ya, if Murray ever gets sick, Jay,

I'm gonna hire you.

Looks good.

Oh, that is so sweet.

This is what Ruff gave us.

All right, you've got the tape.Paper?

Aw, newspaper goalie pads.

Oh, man, that's rich.

You're going to make Ruff's new set of goalie equipment,

and then we'll test it out a little bit later.

See this hard piece right here?

Maybe we could use one of these.

Yeah, tape in newspaper.

So probably like...

layer it around this area.

And more at the top? Yeah.

Um, you might need more newspaper, guys.

So you want to go test it?

Okay, let's hope this works.

There you go.

I think it should hold up.Ready?

One, two, three...

Wait... okay, wait.

Uh-oh.Oh!

What was that? What happened? What happened?!

Sorry, Ruff.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

No! Okay, we get the point!

All right!

I'm going to throw up.

I will pay you to stop.

I want to be a mascot!

[sobbing]

Stop!

Sorry, Ruff.

I don't think that will protect you very well.

Guys, I need this to work. Hockey pucks hurt.

[screams]

All right, come on, Ruffman, pull it together.

Okay, we are back in Studio G

with Sammy and Sam.Yeah.

So you two ready to earn some points of your own?

Yeah. You know it.

Good, 'cause it's time

for the Half-Time Quiz Show.

Yes.

Let's brush up on the rules.

points are available.

You have seconds to answer as many questions as you can.

Ten questions available at five points apiece.

Are you ready?

You know it. Yeah.

Yes.

Excellent.

...from one ball to the next?

Um... uh... Newton's...Newton's...

Newton's...

Skip, skip, skip, skip.

No, no, no...

We'll come back to it if there's time.

Yes.

It's a meat...Beef. It's a Korean beef dish.

Yes.

It stops it from moving 'cause it slows it down.

Yes, it makes the puck take longer to come to a stop.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Newton's Cradle is number two.

I'm going to have to give that to you now.

[bell ringing]Yes! Awesome!

So you got 'em all!

Wow, good job, guys.

A perfect score. Fantastic.

It's time to get back

to Noel and Jay.Let's do it.

Hello.

Hey, Noel, it's Jay.

I got to ask you, where do you do your after school activities?

I go to school.

I do mine in the yard.

All right, see ya.

Hi.Hey, Noel, how are you?

Hey, it's Paul.

It's Jay's dad.

You're playing lacrosse today.

Oh, that's right, because Jay's a lacrosse player.

We'll try picking balls up first.Okay.

You get down low... and you come straight through.

Uh... oh.

Scoop it up.

Come on, Noel.

That was good.

Good scoop...

There you go. There you go, got it.

There you go.

Ready?

ALL: Okay.

[cheering]: Jay is what? Dynamite.

Jay is what? Dynamite.

What? Don't point at me.

This is what Noel does.

What do you think she does all day, drive trucks?

Pep's not really my thing.

What, you think playing lacrosse is her thing?

You're filling in for Noel today.

Because Noel's a cheerleader.

And this is your uniform.

Look at that. Come on, it says "FETCH" on it.

The front takes the biggest jolt.

I hate jolts.

So that has to have...It's kind of a shell.

It is kind of like a shell.

Right, a hard shell on the outside.

But look closely at this.

What do you see in this first layer?

HARSHA: It's very intricate.

It looks woven.It does look woven.

It's not just one smooth, flat piece. Let's take a closer look.

HARSHA: It's like a bunch of tiny pieces woven together,

and I think that's what's making it strong.

Huh. I guess the weaving helps

spread out the force of the puck.

We need an outer shell...

Some of the shells...

We could roll up

strips of newspaper and just kind of weave them over.

, more to go.

Folding and rolling, folding and rolling.

I hope this works.

We should put them closer,

because if... the hockey puck could to straight through there.

And that's gonna...Yeah, also, to make it...

The tighter it is, the stronger it'll be.

They're taping down the rolled up tubes of newspaper.

Packing them tightly together.

Okay, so... Now weaving them in between on the horizontal.

Very nice.

Oh, weave, please weave like you've never woven before.

Look at that.

It's woven in like the top of an apple pie.

Mmm, pie.

[gobbling]

I think, after this, we should put, probably under it,

another weave under it.

Maybe we should place the second one at...

...a -degree angle. Yeah.

It would cover all those empty spaces, too.

RUFF: Ah... they notice that the weave

is on a -degree angle on the actual goalie pads.

They want to replicate that with the newspaper.

Ruff, I think we just might be able to pull this off.

I hope so. Scruff is an excellent slap sh**t.

So now we're going to work with throwing and catching.

Let's try a couple sh*ts.

Okay, let's see how she does.

That's it! First try,

right in the net. I want you to take,

you know, a couple or three steps.

So, basically, you're running towards the net...

and you're taking a sh*t.

There you go.

In the net again!

You're getting the hang of this.

Piece of cake!

Okay, so now we're gonna learn a cheer.

One, two, three, four...three, four.

Come on, team, let's score.

Come on, let's score.

Okay. Blossom, you want to do this one with me?

Ready? Okay!

Okay.

One! Two!One, two.

Three, four.Three, four.

Come on, team, let's score! Come on, team, let's score!

Whoo! Good.

All right, do you want to pick it up?

Try it nice and fast? Sure.

One! Two! Three! Four!

Come on, team, let's score!

All right, it's his first day.

Catching's a little different,

in that it's a little more difficult.

Oh! Oh! All right!

She's scooping it up much better now.

Good throw.

Very good. Thanks.

And a good catch! There you go.

Look at that. Well, Jay, I don't know.

You got some stiff competition here.

Beautiful.

There you go!

Check that out, Ruff.

Very cool, Noel, you're doing great.

Another big part of cheerleading

is what we call "stunting."

All right, so we're gonna grab the mats.

You owe me.

So we're gonna show you a thigh stand.

Eight, one, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight.

Beautiful.

You are gonna trade places with Carrie,

and we're gonna put you up.

All right? All right.

One, two, three, four.

Come on, team, let's score.

[phone ringing]The phone.

Oh, boy.

Oh, hey, easy.Hello?

Hey, Jay, it's Ruff.

Hey, Ruff.

Hey, you gotta go down to the field

and cheer Noel, playing

with your lacrosse team.

Wait. No. No.

What?No.

You gotta be kidding me, Ruff.

I kid you not.

It-it's part of the challenge.

[growling]

Oh, hey, easy there.

Settle down.

[phone ringing]

Huh?

Hey, Noel, it's Ruff.

[attempting to talk]

No, no. Ruff Ruffman, from the show you're on.

My mouthpiece's in my mouth.

I can't... Are you eating?

[mumbling]

Right. I don't know what you're saying,

but you have to go down to the field right now

and play with Jay's lacrosse team.

Wha...?

Hey, guys, I want you to welcome

our new teammate today. This is Noel.

TEAM: Hi, Noel.

All right, guys, let's show some enthusiasm and spirit

and cheer on the team. All right!

[cheering]

Come on, Jay, cheer the team on.

It's your lacrosse team.

Ruff, I don't want to do this, but I'm gonna try.

You're gonna be great, Noel.

[kids screaming]

sh**t it in!

Get some play!

One! Two! Three! Four!

Come on, Noel, let's score!

One, two, three, four!

Come on, Noel, let's score.

[Jay whoops]

[kids screaming]

There's a pass to Noel.

sh**t!

She scores!

On a guy who plays goalie like me! Good job.

Ohh... You can have your life back.

No, you can have yours back.I want to switch right now.

Okay, let's go back to Studio G.

See you there, Ruff.See you soon, Ruff. Bye.

Come on back, guys.

Great cheering, great scoring!

Oh, I hope their new design works.

All right. So... here.

Hope it works.

And now it's time

to as*ault Ruff with hockey pucks.

[kids whooping] Wait a minute.

It didn't go through.

It didn't go through!

Three...

Bounced off again!

Ruff Ruffman intact!

Yeah! Yeah!

Thank you so much.

Hey, It was my pleasure.

That thing could stand up to a machine,

but it's no match for real hockey players.

Oh, no! It's the Toughies, Scruff's junior hockey squad.

Ready... aim...

fire!

The play is okay.

Nice try, Scruff.

SCRUFF: The design survived?

Chew on that, brother!

And we are back in Studio G

with Sam and Sammy.

Yeah!

Welcome back, DJ and Harsha!

Wow! Look at our prize-winning...

Well, make yourselves comfortable, FETCHers.

because N-O-E-L!

J-A-Y! Go, Noel and Jay!

Here he comes. Go, go, go! Come in.

Oh, yeah!

Yes!

Wow!

Hold it. Noel, you look tough.

So, Jay.

Yeah.

Cheerleading. Be honest.

How did you feel being out of your comfort zone a little bit?

Uncomfortable zone.

I'm in an uncomfortable zone all the time.

But now, let's get out

of the uncomfortable zone and get into the point zone.

[cheering]

BJ and Harsha.

COACH: Come on, guys!

For keenly assessing Joe's pads

and applying that knowledge to make your own-- points!

[whooping]

Good job, guys.

Your first design-- not so effective.

Sorry, Ruff.

But you didn't give up.

For redesigning a better goalie... points.

Yeah! Good, guys.

That's awesome.

For a grand total of... points!

KIDS: Yeah!

Go, guys.

Noel, you in there?Yeah.

No one could have guessed this was the first time

you played lacrosse and the bass guitar.

[Noel laughs]

Impressive.

Hello.

And, Jay.

Jay is what?! Dynamite!

You owe me.

What can I say?

What can I say? I threw, uh,

bulbogi at you, I threw, makeup at you.

and I threw at you an entire afternoon

of cheerleading in front of

your own lacrosse team.

And what did you do?

You rolled with it. You went with it.

You even rocked the house with it, and for that...

[kids cheering]Awesome.

But is that all

the points a dog can give?

KIDS: No!

Give me a "what." Give me a "time."

Give me an "is." Give me an "it." What does it spell?

Bonus points!

Yes. Today's bonus points recipient

coined a new dictionary-worthy word

That's actually a Ruff replica, all right?

BJ: A Rufflica. A Rufflica.

BJ, five points!

Fetch ...

Jay!

with points.

The daily winner should go to you, my friend.

I have here two pom-poms.

Behind one of these pompoms, a prize

to make you cheer sis, boom, ba!

And if you pick the other, eh, not so much cheering.

So, Jay, which is it going to be?

I choose pompom A.

Then step up to the mailbox

and retrieve your prize.

A lacrosse ball?

That's right. You're gonna be the ball boy

at the next Boston Cannon's major league lacrosse game.

Oh, no way!

That's right! Lacrosse tickets

for three of your friends

and a Cannon's T-shirt.

You deserve it, man!

Well, that brings us to an awesome, sport-filled day

of FETCH! With Ruff Ruffman.

I am out of here.

Happy lacrossing.

Yeah!

I forget the words, but sort of remember the cheer. Hooray!

Whoo!

KIDS: Yeah!

My Ruff Foamcore blocked enough sh*ts

to b*at Scruff's team.

I want a rematch.

But, hey, at least now, Scruff,

you can pack up and get out of my doghouse.

I'm not going anywhere.

Oh, but I've got the finale next week.

I've got a new idea for the finale, and if you don't

play ball, brother,

there won't be a finale.

ANNOUNCER: Next week, an episode that will make television history.

Graff, listen to me.

Is that sandwich as dangerous as it looks?

You never believed in my trapeze talents. Never!



[Ruff scatting]

♪ FETCH! ♪

♪ With Ruff Ruffman! ♪

[Ruff scatting]

Whatever.

♪ FETCH! ♪

♪ With Ruff Ruffman! ♪

♪ FETCH! ♪