04x06 - Finding Eight-Legged Tights Isn't Easy

[bunniefuu]

The elusive, mythical helmet of victory!

Okay, maybe I am getting a little obsessed about it,

but I know this.

If I'm ever gonna find it,

I need to be in top physical shape. Quick, Chet!

Put on some exercise music.

["Skip to My Lou" plays]Try again, Chet.

[classical music plays]Oh, well, that's better.

Wait a minute. Is this ballet music?

Aah!

Turn it off!

Yes, it's true.

I have a terrible fear of ballet.

It all started years ago.

I was going to star in the greatest

action-adventure ballet piece ever.

Through dance alone, I would quest for a golden idol,

twirling past a reign of spiders,

crossing a perilous gorge,

and leaping over a pit of alligators.

But on opening night, Spot Spotnik

replaced the fake spiders with real spiders.

I never finished my dance.[women screaming]

The show flopped.

And to this day, ballet sends me into a cold sweat.

Oh!

What? Dogs don't sweat.

They pant?

I tell you, never look for sympathy from a cat.

RUFF: ♪ Life was missing its mystique ♪

♪ My squeaky toys had lost their squeak ♪

And then, out of the blue, I saw the phone and bam!

My destiny was calling me.

[instrumental jazz playing]

♪ Pitched my vision for a show

♪ They loved it, thought I was a pro ♪

♪ They got my contract back to find ♪

♪ To their alarm, a dog had signed ♪

♪ FETCH! ♪Oh, I like that name.

♪ With Ruff Ruffman ♪

♪ I didn't wait to renovate ♪

♪ Found six contestants, all were great ♪

♪ And now I'm on the road to fame ♪

♪ I've got a game show and its name is ♪

♪ FETCH! ♪

It's very catchy.

♪ With Ruff Ruffman ♪

It rolls off the tongue.

♪ With Ruff Ruffman ♪

Blossom, you think my insurance will cover this?

♪ FETCH! ♪

Funding for FETCH! with Ruff Ruffman has be

Here come the contestants now.

She worries about germs. Don't worry.

Chet just vacuumed the Studio G carpet for Talia.

He designs Web sites in his free time.

Just call him www.Isaac.

He likes pizza, doesn't like sandwiches.

Well, what about a pizza sandwich, Sterling?

A devotee of karate,

her ambition is to break a cinderblock

with her bare hand.

Bethany.

She is not a fan of cockroaches,

not even the cute ones.

Liza.

He enjoys looking through microscopes.

That's good. I hear FETCH! is very popular with bacteria,

Brian.

Let's get an update on the scores.

Brian in the basement: points.

Sterling has dropped to fifth with -/.

Liza up to fourth with .

Isaac holding in third with -/.

Talia in second with .

And Bethany still in first with -/ points.

Hi. Welcome to another hair-raising

spine-tingling, terrifying episode

of FETCH! with Ruff Ruffman.

What's so scary?

What's so bad about it? Why?

I'll tell you,

it'll be so scary

that I'm gonna take a pass.

Chet!

Take over, buddy. I'm out of here.

Hi, Chet.

Hey, Chet! Hi, Chet!

RUFF: Oh!

Hi, Blossom!

Blossom!

Blossom!

Okay, fine, fine, I'll do it.

Blossom thinks I should confront my fears head-on.

Let me tell you why I'm upset.

Long ago, I, Ruff Ruffman,

was supposed to leap over a pit of alligators

and cross a thousand-foot gorge on a single wire,

but because Spider started raining down on me,

I couldn't do it.

But now, Brian,

you're gonna do it for me.

Your instructions are in the mailbox.

So, go fetch!

Yeah, Brian!

Yeah, Brian!

RUFF: Oh, and Brian?Yeah?

Make sure you ask for Cosmin.

Okay. Bye.ALL: Bye.

RUFF: Bye, Brian. See ya.

Now we come

to challenge #.

This one's a toughie. I...

I can't lie to you.

You see, it was supposed

to be fake spiders that fell on me,

and I have no problem

with fake spiders.

But my old pal,

Spot Spotnik, switched them out

at the last second for real spiders.

Horrible!They're my worst fear.

I'd be, like...

Really? So, if I-I sent you on a spider-type challenge,

you probably wouldn't like that, would you?

Okay.

Um... [laughs]

This could be a problem.

Hang on a second.

Uh, Blossom, is the Fluffy Bunny

Challenge ready yet? No?

Okay. Well.

We're gonna gonna have to do this one.

Bethany and Sterling,

this is Professor Greta Binford.

And she's waiting for you.

Everything you need to know is in that mailbox, so,

go fetch!

Bye!

Bye, guys.

Bye.

RUFF: Have a good time. Bye.

Now, as determined by the FETCH ,

Isaac, Liza and Talia have stayed behind

in the studio this week.Yeah. Nice.

But they'll be eligible to win points

during the Half-Time Quiz Show.

Yeah. Yeah.

And as a great American said long ago...

Oh, oh, wait, wait.Who said that?

That-That great American was me.Ow!

Anyway, all of the contestants will have competed

for the same number of points by the grand finale.

For the three kids out on the challenges,

up to points are at stake in the Triumph Tally.

So let's get the latest on Brian.

And, wow. Hello! Flexible.

Are you Cosmin?

Yeah.Yes. You must be Brian.

COSMIN: This is Henoch.Hi, Henoch.

Let me show you some exercises and check your flexibility.

How many pounds do you think you can lift?

. pounds?

How many pounds do you think Henoch can lift?

Looks like he can lift a building.

[grunting]

Wait to see what Henoch can lift.

RUFF: What is it? Is that a horse?

It's a... It's a girl.

He's-He's gonna lift her?

Oh.

RUFF: Well, someone looks smitten.

I'm gonna be dancing, Ruff?RUFF: Yes!

You're gonna get down.

That showoff's holding her up with one hand.

COSMIN: One hand.

RUFF: One hand! Wow.

What do you think about that?

That's really impressive, and I'm jealous.

You cannot dance like that?Can you, Ruff?

Of course I can dance like that.

I was born to dance.

Blossom, I need you for a sec.

And, uh, one and two.

Now lift. Aah!

Okay, get off me. Get off! Get off!

So, for how long you think

Henoch can hold Hannah on one hand up?

, seconds.

Let's check it out.

And go.

How you holding up there, Henoch?

I'm doing well.

I'm just holding out here.

I do it enough that I, uh, get used to it.

All right. I should try this with Chet.

Start with a mouse and work my way up.

And... [grunting]

Oh, sweet biscuits.

Wait. Stop moving, Chet!

I'm falling.

[screams] Ooh.

[coughs]

[spits]

Aw, Chet.

Oh, when was your last bath?

How you feel up in the sky?

I'm all right.

[Cosmin laughs]

BRIAN: seconds.

Well, it's all training.

I have a present for you.

These are ballet slippers.

Today you're going to be my student.

Yes! Put on your dancing shoes, kid.

BETHANY: We're supposed to be going

to the Middlesex House.

Spiders as soon as you enter the place?

BETHANY: Spiders!

Spiders! Ruff Ruffman, keep an open mind.

Hi.

Hi. I'm Professor Greta Binford.

Welcome to the spider lab.

I'm an arachnologist. Ugh.

It's a biologist who studies spiders.

So come on in.

Why couldn't it be like gerbils or something?

Gerbil challenge...

Uh, maybe next year.

Okay, I thought we'd start with some toys.

Ugh, even the fake spiders look awful.

BINFORD: What about that makes it a spider?

It has eight legs.

And it's eight too many. Eight legs, yes.

[toy squeaks]It squeaks.

What is that, a spider chew toy?

I draw the line.

So the basics of a spider

are that you got two body parts.

This part is called the cephalothorax,

which just means head and thorax fused together.

And you can always tell that part

because it's got the legs attached.

This part is the abdomen. Ew!

Now how many eyes do spiders have normally, do you know?

Eight.They have eight.

Eight eyes?!

That's one for each leg. Ugh.

And you can see here

this represents something called the spinneret.

Any idea what it might do?

It makes the spider web?

It makes silk, exactly.

A single spider-- some of them can secrete

seven different kinds of silk.

There are actually , species of spiders in the world.

,?!

That's a lot of spiders to not like.

And those are only the ones we know.

There are actually species out there

that we're still discovering and giving names to.

And as a scientist, that's really exciting.

You know what else is exciting?

Ballet.

Especially when there are no spiders.

COSMIN: Ballet is like music.

We have to learn some exercises.

And when you put all these exercises together,

you create a little dance.

RUFF: You create a little dance.

Unless it's ruined by Spot Spotnik.

Let me start first to teach you the foot positions.

Foot positions.

Okay. This is the first position.

You can hold the bar,

and straight your knees.I remember these positions.

The second position is

when you spread the legs a little bit more.

Then we have the third position.I haven't done this

in a long time.

Then we have the fourth position.

[grunting]

Heel to toes, toes to heel.

And this one hurts.That's the fifth position.

And then the last one, sixth position.

Oh, that's a little more comfortable.

[sighing]

Oh, Blossom, you're such a show-off.

Now plié.

Now what? Plié.

Oh, isn't that the...?

Oh, plié. Yes. You got it! You have it!

Plié means to bend.

Plié.

And straight your legs.

And side. Close.

You know what? I'm just going to watch.

I'm not doing this challenge anyway.

He is.

Perfect!

Do you see? You're natural. You have this.

It takes a lot of effort and concentration.

And it takes a lot of effort and concentration

to get over my arachnophobia.

Okay.

Spiders are arachnids,

but spiders are not the only arachnids.

This is a harvestman.

Some people call it a daddy longlegs.

[gasps] [laughs]

This is an example of an arachnid

that's not a spider.

Wait a minute.

Daddy longlegs aren't spiders?

One thing that's different about it,

is that is has no venom.

Thank goodness.

And it doesn't make any silk.

Why do they have silk and venom?

STERLING: Silk to make a home

to live in, and to capture flies

or whatever so they can eat them.

BINFORD: Yes.

Why do they use venom?It makes them, like, paralized

so they can't run away.

BINFORD: What do you think is in venom?

Something that... Yeah, poison. Poison.

Ah, poison!

As in venom.

Not the hair band from the 's.

Ask your parents.

I'm sure there's an embarrassing T-shirt somewhere.

[Ruff screams]BINFORD: Every spider has to catch

and immobilize live prey,

so the silk and the venom are the tools

that they use to do that. [Ruff shudders]

Can we stop with the arm and the crawling?

Oy, I got to get over this.

Spiders are so very different from us.

They don't have a mouth that they can open.

They have jaws

and then their little fangs at the base of the jaw,

and that's how they inject their venom.

So then they vomit out digestive enzymes from the mouth,

which is a different spot,

and that, that helps to liquefy the prey,

and then they drink it up.

They throw up on their food, and then they drink it.

I'd like to see some ballet, please.

Jeté, and close.

So you have...It's hard to balance.

...you have to bend your leg.

You bend your leg and you bring it up.

Ruff, I'd like to see you try this.

Well, I'm not gonna, so keep dancing, buddy.

And now I want you to jump

over the trash can.

Watch.

Ru-Ru-Run and a jump over the can.

RUFF: Whoa!

Try not to kick the trash can

because if it's full of trash, you have to clean up.

All right, so let's not make a mess here, Brian. Let's go.

Ready, and go.

Ru-Ru-Run and open.

Yeah! Good, not bad.

And ru-ru-run, open.

Oh, and he's back over.

Nicely done.

COSMIN: Yes, not bad, okay.

BINFORD: Okay, so this is a tarantula.

Oh, Bethany, come back to Studio G.

Bethany, I guarantee you it's safe.

So if you look right there,

see, remember this is the cephalothorax and the abdomen?

And see those black things right there?

Yeah.Those are the fangs.

Does it grow bigger?

It does grow bigger.

They have their skeleton on the outside,

so they actually have to do something called "molt."

Their skeleton is on the outside?

When they molt, it means they shed their skin.

Oh.

And this is the skin of this spider.

You can touch it; do it very gently 'cause

it's a little bit fragile.

RUFF: Dried spider skin. [Bethany shuddering]

Can this get any grosser?

BETHANY: I feel

like I should wash my hands.

[laughs]

Oh, gosh.

I-I'm all for that.

Now we're going to actually

give these spiders some prey and see how they catch the prey.

Is it, is it the crickets?

Yeah.

[chirping]RUFF: But wait.

Before mealtime, let's go back to Studio G for halftime.

Ruff Ruffman with Liza, Isaac, and Talia.

Yeah.We're about to put

three brains together

and take on the Half-Time Quiz Show.

Let's go over the rules.

points are available.

You work together as a team.

You have

seconds to answer as many questions as you can.

I'm going to ask you ten questions

at five points apiece.

Are you guys ready?

ALL: Yeah.

Then let the quiz begin.

An, an, an arachnotologist.

Incorrect.

No.

Correct.

To jump!

To, um, bend. To bend.

What's the final answer here?

To bend.

Good.

Six. Five.

How many? Final answer. Come on, guys.

Five. Five. Five main ones.

Incorrect.

ALL: To make silk!

Yes!

ALL: Over ,.

Yes.

To im-immobilize their food and to, like, throw up on it.

But drag it back in.Yeah.

Good enough.

seconds.

Yes!

ALL: Medicines!

Yes! And we're out of time.

I'm out of breath. Oh, mercy.

FETCH , what do we got?

Seven out of ten. That is points

Very good.High five.

Let's go over the two that you did not get right.

The first question:

"A biologist who studies spiders is called what?" Arachnologist.

Uh!

Also, "How many foot positions are there in ballet?"

The answer is six, so couldn't give it to you.

Seven out of ten, good score. And so,

have spiders gotten any more adorable since halftime?

Probably not, but let's check in on our FETCHers anyway.

This is one of the central tools that we use in spider labs.

It's called a "pooter."

A what?!

A pooter. Now what we're gonna use it for

is to transfer insects into spider homes,

and then we can observe how the spider captures its prey.

Oh! Oh, mercy!

So we're connect the smaller tube,

pushed into the bigger tube,

and we have some extra special pantyhose.

The pantyhose keeps a cricket from going into your mouth.

You don't have to touch the cricket or the spider.

So we have some crickets in this container.

Now... [chuckles]

RUFF: The world's first cricket slurpee.

Okay, so now it's in there. See that?

Where is...? Oh.

It's right in that tube.

And now I'm gonna put it in with this jumping spider.

Do you have to blow it again to get it to pop out?

Just blow it right in, yeah. Did you see that?

She just sh*t a cricket at that spider.

So jumping spiders are one kind of spider.

They're very common, and they have big eyes.

So they're very visual. They stalk their prey like cats.

And so you'll see the spider orient toward the cricket,

and then walk up to it and pounce on it.

[all gasp]Did you see that? He pounced on it.

I was not prepared!

So once the spider jumps on it,

it's gonna bite it; it's gonna inject venom.

Oh! Heavens to Betsy!

Spiders only eat living bugs.

If there weren't any spiders,

there would be so much more bugs,

and you'd be, like, "Bugs!"

And down.

You enjoyed my class upstairs.

Now you have to enjoy my boys class.

Ruff, what did you get me into?

Uh, ballet. Get in there.

And tendu, point, and jeté, close first.

Point your feet more up,

and back, close, fit in the back.

Back of the leg. Fit and side.

Brian, I see you're getting lost here a little bit.

It's okay.

Ballet's really not for me.

Brian, what are you talking about?

You're doing great!

On my first try, I did a lot worse than you.

Why'd you like ballet so much?

I-I loved jumping.

It just makes you feel like you can do anything.

Yeah, the image of it is like girls in tutus,

so when you say, "Oh, I do ballet,"

they think, "Oh, oh, you must wear pink tutus and everything."

Whenever they say that, I always say,

"Well, football players take ballet

to strengthen their feet."

It's a really good exercise.

And so now we're gonna see

how many spiders you can find in five minutes.

Oh, man, there must be thousands of spiders there.

Jumping spiders and link spiders and little crab spiders.

[voice breaking]: I don't like spiders.

Oh, no.

I don't want to go in.

No, you don't have to.

I'll tell you one thing, though.

The spiders around here don't tend to bite people.

And there are none here that if they did bite you,

um, that would hurt you.

You don't have to go in if you don't want to!

Okay, Sterling, you and I are

gonna spend five minutes out there. Put this on.

That's why you've got a teammate.

So if you look in the pocket that's right here,

there are some empty vials.

Put the spiders in here?

Okay, this is a sweep net. Just sweep it across the grass.

I was wondering if maybe you guys could go and get them,

and I can put them in the tubes?

Absolutely. Yeah, we can bring them back

and you can help us put them in the tubes. That'd be great.

Yeah, Bethany, we'll get over our arachnophobia together.

How's it going? [chuckles nervously]

Maybe I might try to catch them.

We can see what you feel comfortable with.

Okay, let's go in the meadow.

Oh, a ballerina here.

Oh, a present for you, Brian.

I have a ballet-gram for you.

What's this?

I don't know. Open it up.

Show everybody. It's show time.

"Brian, you and the class will perform in minutes."

minutes! Yes!

You'll be performing

Indianapolis Ruffman and the Temple of Tutus.

COSMIN: So you are the star.

Aw, Ruff!

Look. Look at the design.

He's all eight eyes. [chuckles]

She's going in. Wow, that is courage.

High five! I mean, eight.

Uh, actually, just one.

How you doing?

Good.

Okay, so the other piece of equipment we'll use

is something called a b*ating sheet.

RUFF: We're using a kite?

STERLING: Oh, see that?

Wow. Look at all those.

Yeah. You see this spider?

It's a jumping spider, actually.

Oh, wow. It does jump.

Let's spend five minutes

and see what we can find.

It's not that bad.

They are definitely sweeping the field.

This is a thorough inspection.

I think Bethany sees something. What do you got?

Ooh, look! A spider!

Oh, yes. It's another green one.

Look at you, looking so impressed.

I'm getting better. Look!

She's capturing spiders.

There's no reason to be scared of spiders.

I mean, um, I'm not going to marry one, but, uh....

What?

And I'll show you guys what you do.

You go...

[vocalizing beats]

Oh, my gosh.

You bow and you turn here to Brian.

Now, I want you to run.

Keep the arms in the same place.

And you go here with the arms and you push them away

and you come here and you start...

[singing beats]

All right. Let's try it once with the music, all of us.

[singing beats]

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight,

nine, ten, , , , ,

, . Done!

And here you have to jump.

And run.

Pose!

And stop. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Ha! Brian's awesome!

Great. We have these mites.

We have the green, or the web-building, spider.

The green spider.

You wouldn't even have known five minutes ago

that Bethany was afraid to come out here and look for spiders.

Well, thank you so much. I've had a great time today.

Thank you, too.And I have a gift for you.

STERLING: Oh, my gosh.BETHANY: Oh, cool!

Nice. What is it?

Look, I got a spider.

What?

See you at the garage, Ruff.

Bye. See you later at Studio G.

Okay, more spiders. Yay.

[chuckles nervously] That's great.

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to José Mateo Ballet Theater.

Today you're going to see the Ruff Ruffman Dancers.

Oh, this is so exciting.

A performance

of Indianapolis Ruffman and the Temple of Tutus.

RUFF [over speakers]: Now, here's the story.

It all started with two magic birds

who wandered far from home.

They were intent on finding the Temple of Tutus.

They flew up, they flew down, but no luck.

When suddenly...

Zombies! Legions of zombies came after the birds

and locked them in the temple.

But never fear, for Indianapolis Ruffman has found

the giant key to the temple gate.

He has broken through the gate!

And watch out! Spiders on the floor! Quick!

Now, twirl past the poison dart. There's a river.

Okay, cross from hopping from one crocodile to the next. Yes!

Oh, no! One of the zombies has the bird.

But Indianapolis saves the day and sends the bird on her way.

And here we have the final triumphant zombie dance.

Yes!

[music stops, applause]

RUFF: A standing ovation!

Bravo.

That was awesome, Ruff. See you back at Studio G.

Head on back!

And Blossom, let's take this thing home.

♪ La-ta-tee, la-ta-ta, ta-ta

I'm lovely. ♪ La-ta-ta.

You're very strong.

And now let's bring our contestants

back to Studio G.

All right. Yeah.

This intrepid duo made me love spiders all over again.

Sterling and Bethany!

Hey, guys!

Oh!

Do not sit next to me with those.

Don't worry. Spiders are okay.

You know, except for the throwing up

on their food and eating it thing.

What, you have to admit, that is... that is gross.

All right. Now, leaping back to Studio G

in one single grand jeté,

Brian!

Hi, guys.

Nice. Nice shoes.

I tell you, I'm ready to dish out some points.

This was an incredible day.

Shall we?FETCHERS: Yeah!

Points it is!

Bethany and Sterling, for your awesome challenge,

I'm giving you both points.

Yeah! Nice.

And Bethany, for facing your arachnophobia head on,

another five points.

Oh, nice.Nice.

Which leaves Sterling with points and Bethany with .

As we know, Bethany had a tough time on this challenge.

If you ever come across a challenge

that takes you so far out of your comfort zone

that you don't want to do it, it's okay.

And Bethany, I am supremely proud of you.

Let's give her a round of applause, guys.

BRIAN: Yay, Bethany.

Now, then, Brian.

I felt like I was back in ballet all over again.

It was incredible.

The feet positions, the pliés,

the leaps over a perilously filled trash can...

You did it all!

points!

ISAAC: Yeah!

But, is that all the points a daintily toed dog can give?

ALL: No.

♪ What time is it?

ALL: Bonus points!

Yes. Today's bonus points go to the new incarnation

of Indianapolis Ruffman

for handling a solo performance with grace under pressure.

Brian, with points! You're today's daily winner.

[all cheering]

Now, then, Brian,

I have here two tutus. Uh, two...

Tutu, tutu, two tutus.BRIAN: Go on.

Under one tutu, a terrible prize.

Horrible.

Under the other, the anti-terrible prize.

So, which tutu do you choose? One or two?

Tutu Two.

Tutu Two.

Going with Two? Well, then,

your prize, Brian, is in the mailbox.

All right! Cool.

Ooh, yeah.

It's a spider.

RUFF: Yes?BETHANY: That is awesome!

Yeah!

Oh, I can scare so many people like this.

It is a remote control tarantula!

This is awesome!

RUFF: I'm glad you like it.STERLING: That is so cool.

Dude, that's awesome.

Well, that's all the time we have today, FETCHers, so...

Until next time. Brian, if you would, please

dance our FETCHers out of Studio G

with grace.

[Brian humming]

Skip!

Nice, nice. Follow Brian, everyone.

He's had training.

Bye, Ruff. Thank you.

See you next time, guys! Bye!

Bye!

Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselves

for the biggest, most spectacular live TV event ever!

Spider Lake, the first ballet performed

exclusively by spiders.

I've been training them for weeks.

You know how hard it is

to get eight-legged tights onto spiders?

Okay, it's time. Cue the music, Chet.

Go, spiders, go!

Okay, quick change of plans, uh...

Mouse Lake. Come here, Chet. Let me get these tights on you.

Hey, Chet!

Okay, uh....

Lake!

Thank you!



[Ruff scatting]

♪ FETCH! ♪

♪ With Ruff Ruffman! ♪

[Ruff scatting]

♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow ♪

[barking and growling]

♪ FETCH! ♪

♪ With Ruff Ruffman! ♪

♪ FETCH! ♪