04x12 - Ruff Bounces Back

[bunniefuu]

How do you say, "Fetch the stick" in Chinese?

I don't know.

What are the leash laws in Ecuador?I don't know.

George Washington's dog invented kibble.

True or false?I don't know! I don't know.

[sobbing]

[gasps] Whew! It was just a dream!

I thought I was back at Dogwart's.

Ah, Dogwart's.

♪ Rah, rah for Dogwart's ♪

♪ We bark with pride to thee! ♪

Ah, yes, Professor Fange. Talk about snooty!

He thought schnauzers were the smartest dogs.

Eh, everyone knows mutts are the smartest.

Well, everybody else knows. [gasps]

Ooh, check it out!

My final term paper on advanced bouncy balliology.

"Dogs and Balls Through the Ages."

There's no grade on the paper.

That's a little strange.

[gasps] It's from Fange!

"Dear Ruffman, you said your term paper

"was in the mail, so I let you graduate,

"but I've waited long enough.

"I'm flunking you unless you get

that term paper to me by tomorrow."

Hoo, yikes, I never mailed it!

Here, Chet, get an envelope and hurry!

I need this paper graded!

Hey, what are you doing?!

Not "grated," "graded"!

Okay, I've got some rewriting to do.

RUFF: ♪ Life was missing its mystique ♪

♪ My squeaky toys had lost their squeak ♪

And then, out of the blue, I saw the phone and bam!

My destiny was calling me.

[instrumental jazz playing]

♪ Pitched my vision for a show ♪

♪ They loved it, thought I was a pro ♪

♪ They got my contract back to find ♪

♪ To their alarm, a dog had signed ♪

♪ FETCH! ♪Oh, I like that name.

♪ With Ruff Ruffman ♪

♪ I didn't wait to renovate ♪

♪ Found six contestants, all were great ♪

♪ And now I'm on the road to fame ♪

♪ I've got a game show and its name is ♪

♪ FETCH! ♪

It's very catchy.

♪ With Ruff Ruffman ♪

It rolls off the tongue.

♪ With Ruff Ruffman ♪

Chet, wanna stick to filing?♪ FETCH! ♪

Funding for FETCH! with Ruff RuffmanAnd here come the contestants now!

He really wants to go bungee jumping.

Brian!

Her least favorite subject: Geography.

Talia!

She says one of her hobbies is spying.

Bethany!

What's her favorite dessert?

Her nana's cookies.

Liza!

He once went canvassing for a presidential candidate.

Sterling!

He tends to put things off

until he absolutely has to do them.

Maybe that's why he's the last person to be introduced!

Isaac!

Let's get an update on the scores

and things have shaken up here!

Brian in sixth place with points.

Talia in fifth with .

Here we go, Bethany down to fourth with /.

Isaac down to third with /.

Liza all the way up to second with .

And Sterling in first with / points!

Hello, and welcome to the only show with a host

who has a diploma from Obedience School.

[cheering]

Pretty impressive, huh?Yeah!

Dogwart's obedience school.

[cheering]

It's too bad they're going to take it away from me!

ALL: Why?

Apparently, I never turned in my final term paper--

"Advanced Bouncing Balliology."

Very technical stuff; took me a year to write.

And then Chet turned it into this!

Ooh! Oh, Chet!

Ooh, Chet... Chet!

Now I have to write the whole thing in a day and I need

help with my research.

Ugh, I feel a lot of pressure, which brings us

to challenge number one!

[cheering]

This is Chandler.

He's a coach, he's an educator,

and he knows all about pressure.

And he's waiting for

Sterling and Brian.

Your instructions are in the mailbox.

So, go fetch!

All right!

My educational future is in

your hands!Bye, Ruff!

ALL: Bye!

Now then, Challenge number two!

Any of you guys own dogs?

Yeah, I do!I own dogs.

Isaac, what kind of dogs do you have?

I have three total that are schnauzers,

I have a boxer and a Chinese crested.

You have schnauzers?I have schnauzers.

[Ruff grumbling, kids laughing]

Are you kidding me?

You have schnauzers?!

Yeah.Oh, man!

What's so bad about schnauzers?What's wrong with schnauzers?

Well, first of all,

let me give you a little backstory about myself.

I don't know if any of you guys have wondered

what kind of breed I am.

Yeah, we have.What type of breed are you?

Oh, kind of a melange, a potpourri of different breeds.

In other words, I'm a mutt.

And everyone knows mutts are the smartest dogs in the world.

Although at Dogwart's,

the schnauzers all thought

they were the smartest.

We're going to prove who's the smartest, once and for all.

Isaac, Talia,

everything you need to know is in that mailbox,

So, go fetch!

All right, guys!Nice!

I cannot believe you have schnauzers.

Sorry, Ruff! All right!

Bye! Bye, Ruff!

So, as determined by the FETCH ,

Bethany and Liza have stayed behind

in the studioYeah.

but they'll be eligible to win points during the

half-time quiz show.Oh, yeah!

Our Fetch Fairness Guarantee promises all the contestants

will have competed for the same number of points

by the grand finale.

So, for the four kids out on the challenges,

up to points are at stake at the Triumph Tally.

So let's get the latest on Brian and Sterling.

All right! Yeah!

Oh, nice.

How you guys doing? Hey.

I'm Chandler, how are you?Hey.

I'm a coach and I teach a program

called "similarity awareness."

And I put able-bodied kids like yourselves into wheelchairs

and I teach them wheelchair sports.

And that's gonna be your challenge today.

Awesome.

Why don't you go see the chairs over here

that I'm gonna put you in.

Are your legs disabled?

Uh, good question. I'm a paraplegic;

I was in a car accident when I was years old.

I was paralyzed from this level down.

I'm at full arm use with that so I can play basketball,

tennis, all types of different types of sports.

How do you go to the bathroom in a wheelchair?[Chandler chuckles]

Now, that is a good question.

I use the big stalls or I use, uh, you know,

it's all about trying to

find a place where, uh, people aren't watching.

Yeah, I hate when people watch me.

So, if I touch your knee you won't feel it?

You know, it's weird sensations.

Sometimes I can feel like, I can feel like the bottom of my feet.

I don't know why.

But it's different for everybody.

So, these are basketball chairs.

You guys are gonna be pushing around in those chairs all day.

Like, the whole day, like, not getting up at all?

The whole day. Nope.

I'm not gonna let you get up at all.

Ruff, this is crazy.

That's right, Sterling and Brian

have gotta stay in the chairs for the whole day.

Now we're gonna head over to the track, so, try to keep up.

Move, Brian!

Now, before they can play sports in a wheelchair,

they need to learn how to get around in one.

I try to push forward,

drop my arms, push like that.

You're causing friction when you go like this and pull back.

You want less friction, okay?

Okay, we want less friction so the wheels roll freely.

Oh, no!

Whoa, not that freely! Sterling!

[laughing]

CHANDLER: Anytime, boys, anytime!

[laughing]

Oh, yeah, that's it!

[grunting] Hey, uh,

the point is to move, not stay still!

No! Bye, Ruff... I'm going down!

I can see they're gonna need to work on this.

CHANDLER: Push the chairs!

And I need to work on getting something to eat.

Chet, wanna bring me a snack there, buddy?

Thanks.

There's people!

Dr. Dodman, hey, he's one letter away from Dogman.

That would be a cool name.

Uh, hi, are you Dr. Dodman?

I am Dr. Dodman.

I'm an animal behaviorist.

We're involved in understanding

how animals learn and how to teach them and stuff like that.

I understand that Ruff is very

concerned about his intelligence.

I wouldn't say I'm concerned

about my intelligence. [grunting]

Uh, could somebody help me get my head out of this pickle jar?

We have to show you how intelligent dogs are

and, uh, maybe you can help Ruff feel better.

Okay, cool.Let's go.

Hike!

Good job!

Good!

What do you think intelligence is?

Like, how well you can gain knowledge

that can help you survive.

Learning something that you wouldn't automatically know.

You need to learn so you can not make the same mistake...

Again. ...over and over again.

Learn from my mistakes.

That's what I do on this show.

[grunting, groaning]

Aah! Curse you, pickles!

DODMAN: If you go back to the border collie

with the hike and catching the ball,

why do you think he was doing that?

First you have to teach the dog, like, what the words mean.

'Cause obviously, dogs don't know English.

Hike!

Yeah! ISAAC: Connecting a word to action

was learning, where like, throwing and then going

to catch something is more instinct.

DODMAN: That's right, we're relying partly

on his natural behavior.

Okay, natural, or innate behaviors are things

dogs do naturally.

Like fetch or chase cats.

What? I'm just saying.

Some dogs will work for food, some for petting,

some for a tennis ball.

If a dog doesn't obey,

does that mean that it's, like, not smart or something?

Not really.

Dogs sometimes just choose not to do it.

I mean, you might do the same thing.

So, a dog that performs a trick well

doesn't necessarily mean he's smarter.

Some smart dogs just don't like doing tricks.

Like yours truly.

Isaac and Talia have to design a test that will work on all dogs.

Let me give the doctor a call here.

[phone ringing]Uh-oh.

Hello?Hi, Dr. Dodman.

Is this Ruff?Yes, it is.

I'm sending dogs who applied to be interns

on the show. [chuckles]

We couldn't give them the job

but, you know, maybe we can give them some screen time.

I want you to figure out a way to test their intelligence

so we can prove, once and for all,

what kind of dogs are the smartest.

Good luck controlling their enthusiasm.

[laughs] Seriously, good luck.

[barks]

Oh, it's much easier to...

Yes, it is much easier.What an awesome track!

So I think we're going to have a little race.

Make it a little bit more of a challenge

[air hissing]and get some air out of your chair.

FETCH: He's flattening their tires!

You guys ready?Yes.

On your mark, get set, go!

♪ ♪

Push! Push!

Oh, Brian's in the lead!

CHANDLER: Push!

Look at this, look at this.

And we have a winner! Took you guys around seconds.

It was a little harder, because there's no air in it.

Don't you mean it was a little soft?

[chuckles] Get it?

Because there's-there's no air,

which makes it...

All right, fine.

You may wonder what I'm doing

standing here with this. Yeah.

It's just a big old sheet.

And we're gonna throw it over each dog.

And the idea is that the quicker they get out,

the smarter they are-- so we're gonna need you

to time it with a stopwatch.

Oh, so smarter dogs will escape faster.

Well, that makes sense to me.

I could get out of that blanket in about a half a second.

[muffled, indistinct shouting]

[muffled shrieking, sobbing]

One stopwatch.

Thank you.One blanket.

Some dogs.

FETCH: Okay, canine number one--

I believe he is a briard.

He looks like an orange ghost.

First dog's looking around.

Oh, it's off his back, it's off his back.

Stop. TALIA: seconds.

Man, it took him a long time to figure out how to get out.

It's a blanket, not a locked trunk, buddy.

I think we should do the name of the dog,

the breed, and then the time it took.

Okay, so we should probably do this a second time.

See if they improve?Yeah.

We can test natural intelligence with

the first trial and how fast they learn

with the second.

There we go.What is it? What is it?

seconds flat.Wow!

This dog learns.

Now, who's next?

D.O.G.-- the black Lab.

His owner has a child named K.I.D. [chuckles]

It spells "kid."

No? Yeah?

Yes!

. seconds.

We're gonna do it a second time.

Go.Go.

[laughs] Wow!

TALIA: He doesn't even know it's on!

D.O.G., you can get it off!

Come on, D.O.G.! Come on, come on, come on, come on!

There we go!Okay, there we go.

. seconds.

It was a lot longer this time,

'cause he didn't even realize it was there.

'Cause he had it on his tail.

Next, let's get the owner under it, too. No, no, no.

Only testing dogs today, Dr. Dodman. Oh, my gosh!

He thinks it's a game. This isn't a game, this is a serious experiment.

It's a new record.

Come on!

. seconds.

TALIA: That was fast. Okay, . seconds.

DODMAN: Here we go, finally.

All right, I think that's it.

Well, how'd we do?

All right, so let's go down this list

and figure out the best five.

There's a number of dogs here under five seconds.

FETCH: Oh, yeah, they have a lot of natural ability.

I think most improved would show more intelligence.

Ooh, ooh, right! They can also show intelligence

by whether they learned to get out

from under the blanket faster the second time.

But they might improve from terrible to bad.

But it's still intelligence.

Good paint, Talia.

So the FETCHers will compare all the dogs

based on fastest time, which shows natural intelligence,

and most improvement, which shows learned intelligence.

The five dogs who're gonna be staying with us are...

Kylie... Looks like we have a border collie.

Bella... Ah, and a wire fox terrier.

Corona... The briard.

D.O.G.... The black Lab.

and Colmar. One of your relatives, Hank.

Hey, wait, where are the mutts?

We're supposed to be the smartest.

So, before we pump up your tire,

I'm gonna do a little demonstration of air pressure.

Air pressure is the force being applied

to the inside walls of a balloon

or the inside of a tire.

[machine whirring]We're putting more air molecules into it,

so air molecules are bouncing off each other

and creating more pressure inside the balloon.

[pop]

That hurt my eardrum.

So, before we get racing again,

we're gonna pump up your tires to get it back

to PSI, which is Pounds per Square Inch.

And that is the measure of air pressure.

[turns machine off]

Whew!

This is way better.Remember

the last time you guys raced, it was seconds?

Let's see if you guys can break that, as fast as you can.

Go! And they're off!

Push it, boys, push!

Okay, let's see if they go faster

with more air in their tires.

Oh, close race, but Sterling takes it!

Well, let's just say you guys are both faster by three seconds.

Nice job, guys! And now

I'm back here in Studio G

with Liza and Bethany, who are ready

to earn points of their own during the...

LIZA/BETHANY: Half-Time Quiz Show!

Ooh, I like that-- "synchronicity."

Let's brush up on the rules.

points are available.

You have seconds to answer as many questions as you can.

Ten questions available at five points apiece.

If you're not sure, we can skip

and come back to it if there's time, okay?

You ready?Okay. Okay.

Yes! Yeah!

Then let the quiz begin!

Um, air molecules being pressured into the balloon.

Yes!

Skip it.

In their wheelchair race...

Three. Yes!

...they are causing what?

FETCH: Yes!Friction. Friction.

True or false-- K.I.D.

is a yellow Lab?

False.Correct!

Food and...Just like a tennis ball or something.

Yes!

Air pressure is

sometimes measured in units called PSI.

Pressure...

S-Something...

No.

Skip it. Skip it.

Measuring how fast dogs get out

from under a blanket on the first try--

Yes!Um, innate. Innate. Innate.

[bell dings]Easier. Easier.

Another term for innate behavior is what?

Innate...

Is it, like, um, natural behaviors for dogs?

[bell rings]Yes! Yes! Oh, we are out of time!

Eight out of ten-- points!

FETCH: Good score! Yeah! Nice!

Now let's go over the two that you missed.

He's called an animal behaviorist.

Also-- air pressure is sometimes measured

in units called PSI.

What does PSI stand for?

Pounds per Square Inch.

I thought everybody knew that.

That's all right. Hey!

points is a good job, ladies.

So, how are Brian and Sterling handling

the "pressure"?

Let's get a tire gauge

and find out.

Okay. All right.

And now we're off to the court, guys.

FETCH: From the racetrack... to the basketball court.

[grunting, indistinct shouts]

STERLING: So, what was your biggest obstacle you faced?

CHANDLER: In the beginning, anything was an obstacle.

A curve, getting on a sidewalk,

sand, grass, popping a tire.

Then when you get older and older,

you just realize that they're not really obstacles,

they're more of challenges.

What's life without a few challenges?

Well, we'd have no show without challenges.

CHANDLER: Exactly. So, uh,

why don't one of you guys try to open that door?

There you go, door's open. Oh, wait a minute.

There you go, good job.

Now push your way through.

BRIAN: I'll press the wheelchair button over there.

Yeah, maybe, uh...

The handicap button doesn't work on that door. Please?

Imagine being in a chair and that doesn't work.

That's kind of obnoxious, isn't it?

There you go.

In the intelligence tests, we've sorted out the five best,

Yeah.and now we'd like you

to sort out the best of the best.

Oh, look! Treats!

[Ruff panting]

Okay.

We could put, like,

a treat here and then close it and see

if the dogs go for the treat still?

Out of sight, out of mind.

Then the next test, what we'll do is,

we'll show them the treat under one of the cones, and then

we'll take them for a little walk

and then come back here and see

which cone they look under-- so it's, like, memory.

And memory's a part of intelligence.

All dogs like food, so they're going to hide a treat

under a cone and see how long it takes each dog to find it.

First, they'll do the "out of sight, out of mind" test,

and then they'll test the dog's memory.

Okay, here comes Kylie the border collie again.

Now, we're gonna place a snack under one of the cones

and let our contestant discover it.

Oh, see, she saw it. That was good.

So she passes the preliminary round.

And the briard.

[laughs]

Perhaps a haircut, and then we could come back and try again.

Yeah.

Okay. Say when. Go ahead. When.

Here's the wire fox terrier.

Hey, where are you going, buddy? Hey!

All right, now it's time for D.O.G., the black Lab.

Yeah. There we go. Wow.

D.O.G. found it pretty quickly.

[chuckles]: He did very W.E.L.L.

That spells "well."

And the bulldog.

I don't think he's interested in the treat.

[squeaking toy]

Ooh, squeaky toys work for me.

Find the squeaky toy.Find it.

Oh, that guy doesn't quite get this.

So far...Kylie and D.O.G. are the only ones who...

Who have passed the test.completed it. Yeah.

Okay, it's down to Kylie the border collie

and the notorious D.O.G., the black Lab.

Let's talk about air pressure in basketballs.

Here comes the part about balls!

Better take some notes for my paper.

CHANDLER: The more air pressure you have in the ball,

the higher the ball bounces.

So when the ball hits the ground,

you have less air like this ball?

It deforms. While it deforms on the ground, it bounces less

coming up.Hey, that's just like the wheelchair tires.

They lose energy when they smush, and they roll slower.

The basketball loses energy when it smushes

and doesn't bounce as high.

The less it smushes,

the more energy it has for bouncing.

So in basketball rules, you measure it

by putting the bottom of the ball at . meters, okay?

And it has to bounce all the way down and come in between .

and . meters.

The ball has to go above Sterling's finger

and stay right into this range, okay?

Okay, not enough air pressure at all right there.

Uh, let's get rid of that ball.

Next one.

Oop, I think it went a little too high.

What do you think? Bad ball.

Let's try yours.

Third ball?

Just right.

Is that perfect?

We have our basketball.

This is the complicated part in wheelchair basketball.

You have to dribble every three times

you touch your wheels, okay?

You can place the ball in your lap,

and then push-- that'll be one, twice,

turn, that's three, have to dribble.

The other rule is you cannot use your legs whatsoever.

So if you moved your feet off, you're using your leg to move,

then it's a foul and reverse of possession.

It's now between two dogs,

the border collie and the black lab.

It's their own mini grand finale of intelligence.

Let go of his leash once he gets here.

Now going for a little stroll.

Please don't lick my camera.

Whoa! D.O.G. pounced on that thing and took the cone!

He just prefers the cone to the treat.

Who needs a snack? Oh, it's a great toy.

Apparently, the cone is tastier.

ISAAC: And that was,

like, three seconds flat.

As long as it's his motivation,

he doesn't want the treat,

but he wants the cone. It's still motivation. Yeah.

Now let's see if our final contestant

can do any better.

Yes!

Find the treat! Find the treat! Find it!

Whoa, she went right to the cone

and tipped it gently and ate the treat.

ISAAC: Three seconds.

Oh, no, it's a tie!

How are we gonna decide who's the winner?

Let's look back at the blanket test, see who's...

So we'll take the average.

Okay.

They're gonna take their scores from the blanket test.

Then take the score from the snack-hiding test.

He had . first, and then ....

That's even better.

So her average was a lot lower.

I think we have a winner.

So, Kylie's the winner.

Kylie the border collie is the winner!

Well, at least she's not a schnauzer.

I guess she deserves the crown.

Oh, real smart, you're eating the crown.

Thank you very much.

Good work, guys. Thanks.

Thank you, Dr. Dogman, Dodman.

See ya back at Studio G. See ya.

You got it, Isaac. See ya, Talia.

Well, now that you guys have a little bit

of the wheelchair mechanics down,

I thought I'd bring a couple of my friends out

and we'll have a little two-on- two-- What do you guys think?

Oh, let's do it!

What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna ref. [chuckles] Aw!

Sterling, you're gonna be on Devin's team.

Cole, you're gonna be on Brian's team.

And look at those awesome jerseys.

The first one to three, wins.

You guys ready?

Let's get it started.

Man-to-man coverage.

Sterling and Devin are on the green team,

Cole and Brian are on the yellow team.

Devin with a nice turnaround.

Passes to Sterling. Wide-open sh*t.

Ooh, a little much. Brian has it.

Don't forget to dribble.

There it is, there it is.

Puts the ball on the court.

One, two. He dribbles. One, two.

There's Sterling with the ball. He stole it.

You gotta dribble. You gotta dribble.

There's the dribble, good.

A turn and a pass in to Devin.

Devin turns, dribbles.

Turns and dribbles again.

Devin puts the rock in the hole, baby!

Razzle dazzle, baby!

Now, Brian with a sh*t from downtown!

You gonna take it out?

Sterling with a one-handed pass.

Over two defensemen, and oh, baby, Devin drops the rock!

Good job, good job.

Devin with a behind-the-back bounce pass.

and Sterling wasn't ready for it!

Oh!

Now Brian sh**t a basket, puts it in!

Whoo!

The crowd is roaring. Sterling steals the ball.

Give it to Devin... dribbles, fades back...

feeds it into Sterling, who drops it in!

We have a winner!

And a victory for the green team!

Good show, man. Good stuff.

You guys have fun? You enjoy it?

I would never thought that we could,

like, play basketball in wheelchairs.

Come back any time.

Thanks a lot, Chandler.

We'll take the rematch. We'll still win.

Okay, Blossom, you and me, B-ball.

You're going down

and... whoa!

Uh, whoa! Too bad we're out of time.

No time for a game, yes.

Uh, now heading back to Studio G--

just in the nick of time-- they certainly had a ball,

Brian and Sterling...ALL: Hey...

with awesome basketball shirts with pictures of me on them!

Nice sh*t, guys.

They proved just how smart a dog can be.

Smart enough to host his own reality game show. Thank you.

Isaac and Talia.Hi, guys.

Good job, guys, good job.

Now, Brian and Sterling,

you were good sports about suiting up

and trying something new

like sh**ting hoops from a sitting position.

Now you guys aren't the Michael Jordans

of wheelchair basketball, but you do have points!

ALL: Yes!

And for being the high scorer on his team,

an extra five points for Brian!

Yeah!

For a total of points for Sterling and for Brian.

Nice. Cool.

Isaac and Talia, I know what you're about to say,

"Ruff, please, it's reward enough just getting a chance

"to work with dogs.

I don't need points."

But I think you deserve

at least a few points, right?

ALL: Yeah.

You designed and conducted some excellent experiments,

and for that, points.

Nice job, guys.

Is that all the points a dog can give?

ALL: No.

What time is it?

ALL: Bonus points!

I've got ten bonus points

today, going to the contestant

who nailed the winning sh*t for his basketball team.

CHANDLER: Oh, we have a winner!

Sterling! You're today's daily winner!

Now, Sterling, I have here two identical

intelligent-looking basketballs.

Under one, a dazzling prize.

Under the other, something pretty dazzle-less.

So which will it be: ball A or ball B?

B for basketball.

Yeah, B for basketball.

B for basketball. I like your thinking.

Well, Sterling, your prize is in the mailbox.

Go get it.All right.

You're gonna love this one.

Aw, nice!

Awesome!

Ruff Ruffman's Encyclopedia

of Dog Breeds.

Yep, it's all about different kinds of dogs.

Oh, Ruff, this is your cousin Roof.

Yeah, yeah.

The pirate dog.

Hey, I look good in a pirate suit.

Well, Sterling, enjoy. That is quite

the educational experience.

Yeah.

So, from Studio G,

I'm Ruff Ruffman

off to get my diploma.

Until next time, see ya, FETCHers.

Bye!FETCHers: Bye!

I sent my new bouncy ball term paper to Professor Fange,

and I should be getting the grade back any moment now.

Yes! A letter from Professor Fange!

So, what'd I get? A+? A?

Z-?!

I can't believe I have to give up my diploma.

Wait a minute. My term paper!

Uh, Chet, remember when I asked you to hand-deliver my paper?

What did you actually deliver?

Okay, that's liver.

When I said, "deliver," you delivered liver.

Great.



[Ruff scatting]

♪ FETCH! ♪

♪ With Ruff Ruffman ♪

[Ruff scatting]

♪ FETCH! ♪

♪ With Ruff Ruffman ♪

♪ FETCH! ♪