02x12 - Surfing Dog/Guess Who's Going To Be Dinner

[bunniefuu]

♪ One fine day with a woof and purr ♪

♪ A baby was born and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue bug and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline, canine, little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog...

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters putting catdog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it, got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together, got to sing this song ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog...

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog...

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ♪





Cat: I don't want to go to the beach, dog.

You know I hate water.

And it's so boring!

[ Someone coughs]

[ Yelps]

[ Someone shrieks]

Dog: oh, come on.

It'll be fun, fun, fun.

Cat: yeah, yeah, yeah. Real big fun.

Especially when that creepy old lady with the orange hair

And the hairy wart on her cheek says:

"Lay some tanning oil on me, kitty cat."

Ew! Ew!

I don't believe it!

Wowie caboodles.

Cat: everyone is so happy and blonde

And tall and tan and young and lovely.

What happened?

Okay, a washo zephyr blew in, dudes.

It's, like, a totally weird weather condition.

Makes for righteous waves for perfect surfing.

But you got to grab them while you ca-an.

Surf's up!

Dog: wow!

Wave, here I come!

Dog, wait.

Dog, wait!

[ Groaning]

[ Panting]

[ Grunting]

What do you think you're doing?

I'll ride, ride, ride the wild surf!

No, not with this cat you're not.

There is w-a-t-e-r out there.

W-t--water, dog!

Water!

Cats and water don't mix.

H--no!

Wet on the fur and the dampness

And the thing with the dripping

And the matting and the...

But, cat, I want to surf so bad I can taste it.

And it tastes like melted marshmallows.

Please, please, please?

No, no, no. Never!

End of discussion!

Hey, like cat moon doggie.

Want to share my board?

[ Gulps] well, i...

I don't dig the little waves;

I like them, like, big.

You like to surf?

Gee, I didn't know that.

You hate water.

[ Chuckles]

Maybe later

My little beach bunny.

Like, I'll be waiting in the rip tide, like, okay?

[ Chuckles] whatever that is.

Dog, the time has come

To set aside silly fears

And take action.

Watch out, 'cause I am stoked!

Wicked decent!

Cat, this isn't fun.

I want to surf out with everybody else.

Cat: don't follow the crowd.

Be your own dog, dog.

Hang loose, bro.

Like, waves big enough now?

[ Surfers yelling...]

Uh... Not quite.

I, I only go for the super gnarly waves.

[ Glasses shatter]

At least feet.

That's my cat.

Wow, you must be, like, some radical surfer.

Oh, yeah.

I'm the stokely carmichael of surfers for sure.

[ Whimpers]

[ Bicycle bell rings]

Sand in my jams.

Hey, the surfing kings are here.

But I'm the surfing king.

This is our beach!

[ Groans]

And, uh, this is my shell

And his name is bill.

And, uh, I love him.

[ Crunching]

All youse wimps can all b*at it!

Who made you boss of the beach?

We says who stays and who goes

'Cause we're the best surfers around.

Like, no, you're not.

Mr. Carmichael is.

What? Who, me?

Oh, well, i... I, I wouldn't say the best.

[ Guffawing]: cat?

Surf?

[ Laughing]

Don't make me laugh uncontrollably.

[ Greaser dogs laughing]

Of course cat surfs, but only the really big waves.

Yeah... [ Laughs nervously]

Well, tomorrow morning there's a -footer

Coming in from honolulu.

Big enough for you?

[ Gulps] well, actually, I'm more of a...

-Foot tsunami kind of guy.

Feet is fine!

We'll meet you tomorrow for a surf-down

And the winner is king of the beach.

And I'll be your, like, queen.

Like, terrific.

[ Door squeaks]

Dog, what is wrong with you?

I can't surf!

We have to save the beach from the greasers.

Haven't you paid attention?

Okay, here we go.

Cat plus surfboard in the water

Equals one freaked-out cat!

Forget it! Find yourself another frankie avalon.

Come on, cat.

A couple of smart guys like us

Can think of something!

[ Seagulls crying]

Cliff: I knew catdog wouldn't show.

Babies!

Chickens!

Duh, I like baby chickens.

[ All gasp]

[ Crash]

Hey, jules verne!

What's with the iron lung?

You going , minorleagues under the sea?

We're here to surf!

Okay, you gremmies, let's see what you got.

[ Moans]

This better keep us dry.

As dry as melba toast.

Uh... [ Giggles]

Look on the bright side, cat.

If you wet yourself, no one will notice!

[ Mocking laughter]

Like, get ready, dudes.

Here comes the wa-ave.

That's it?

This is going to be a piece of cake.

All: whoa! Wow!

Come on, g*ng.

Let's show these landlubbers

How it's really done.

Banzai!

Freak-a-bunga!

Duh, franks and beans!

All right, dog.

Let's get this over with.

[ Screeches]

Dog: this is one totally bodacious wave!

Hi-ho-dag-diggity!

Cat: no-ho, dag-diggity!

Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy!

[ Cat howling...]

Oh, wow!

Come on, cat, hang !

[ Groans]

[ Howling...]

Dog: let's rip it!

Let's go home and take a nap!

[ Cat howling...]

Those bums are pretty good!

I like cinnamon bums.

I think it's time for a little bit of mean-spirited fun.

Hey, cat.

You got a peruvian stingray on your shoulder.

What?! [ Shrieking]

[ Yelling]: water! Liquid!

H--o, no!

A wet suit, a wet suit!

My kingdom for a wet suit!

Cat, you were born to surf.

My body, it's wet!

It's time to go tubular!

Tubular?

I don't like the sound of that.

It sounds painful!

We can't go in there! No, dog, no!

No! [ Howling...]

[ Screeching...]

[ Gasps]

Hey, this ain't too bad.

In fact, this is beautiful!

Check out the colors.

It's, it's mystical, magical, miraculous!

Water is good!

Water is my friend!

I am one with the water.

I told you.

I am stoked.

Cat: oh, baby.

I was born to surf!

[ Shriek shrieks]

[ Groaning]

[ Greasers grunting, groaning]

[ All yell]

Can't swim!

[ Whimpering...]

Duh...

[ Guy howling]

[ Spectators cheering]

[ Whistling]

Let's party.

I smell a song!

♪ Who's the coolest surfer surfing in nearburg town? ♪

♪ Ooh, catdog♪

♪ Hey, catdog♪

♪ They surfed up a storm

♪ And they shut the greasers down ♪

♪ Surfing catdog, surfing catdog♪

♪ The catdog style is spreading across the nation♪

♪ A two-headed, four-footed surfing sensation♪

[ Howling]

♪ Bow, bow, bow

♪ Run the waves♪

♪ sh**ting the curl♪

♪ Dancing on the sand♪

♪ With, like, a surfer girl!♪

That's me!

♪ Hey, catdog♪

♪ Ooo-ooh, go, catdog♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, surfing catdog♪

♪ Ooh-ooh, yeah, catdog♪

♪ Ooh-ooh, hey, catdog♪

♪ Ooh-ooh♪

♪ Catdog, catdog.

I'm king of the beach!

This is my beach!

The best beach in the world!

[ Grunts]

[ Panting]

I've never been so happy in my whole...

Life.

The zephyr is moving out.

This place is, like, history.

We're going to new ze-e-aland.

[ Stammering]

Wh-what are you doing?

Like, we got to follow the surf.

Oh, no, wait! I'm king of the b...

Come back!

It's still a nice beach.

There's sand...

We'll do it again like we did last summer!

Come on, where are you...

Oh, the greeks were right:

All glory is fleeting.

Well, cat, at least it'll always be our beach.

That's what you think!

Lay some tanning oil on me, kitty cat.

Come on!

Rub it in good!

[ Catdog howling]

Don't forget granny's nooks and crannies!

[ Birds singing...]

Cat [ with french accent]: ♪ today is ze fantastic day

♪ We make ze cat's great salmon filet. ♪

Hoo-hoo!

[ Sniffing deeply]

Salmon filet wrapped in bacon on toast points.

[ Kisses]

Dragonfly.

Dragonfly, dragonfly!

Excusez-moi,dog.

Dragonfly, dragonfly!

This is a very delicate operation.

I've spent four hours making--

Dog!

Stop!

Hi-ho, dragonfly!

[ Glass breaking]

Hi-ho, dragonfly!

[ Cat grunting]

My salmon filet!

[ Groaning...]

Not my favorite lamp!

[ Dog barking...]

[ Glass shatters]

[ Barking]

Dog!

Must you chase everything that moves?

But, cat, I was only following my instincts

To rid the house of all foreign invaders.

[ Sighs deeply]

[ Softly]: he's got too many stincts, in or otherwise.

Hiya, catdog.

I like what you've done with this place.

Let me help.

[ Giggling]

Dog, why can't you be civilized like me?

Have some self-control.

But, I'm a dog! [ Laughing]

And I'm a cat.[ Glass breaking]

Cats are supposed to eat mice, right?

[ Gasps]

Observe.

Hey, hey, put me down!

[ Winslow grunting, groaning]

There, you see?

I have elevated myself

Beyond the urge to eat winslow.

Amazing.

I know.

Oh, hey, I ain't no popsicle.

[ Groans]

Mmm, not bad.

I can make a rodent ratatouille.

No!

I'm civilized!

[ Cat stammering]

[ Panting, grunting]

[ Silent]

[ Restrained yelping]

I can resist...

Because...

I'm...

[ Hissing]: civilized!

Hey, hey, let go of me, you jurassic jerk!

[ Snarling]

Hey! Sheesh!

What are you, nuts?

[ Panting]

Cat, are you okay?

[ Grunts]

Yes, of course I'm okay.

What was I saying?

That you're civilizized.

Oh, yeah, right.

[ Groans]

Yes, you, uh

Have to rise above your instincts.

Yeah, right!

Get a grip on yourself.

[ Panting][ slams door]

A civilized person enjoys the finer things in life

Like, like, like, uh...

Like, music!

Yeah, that's it.

[ Gasps]

Music.

[ Hen clucks]

[ Plays sweetly]

[ Yells]

Uh... [ Giggles nervously]

What is wrong, cat?

[ Clears throat loudly] oh, nothing!

Um... [ Clears throat]

Just, uh, listen to the music, dog.

[ Laughs nervously]

Uh, uh, picture a peaceful lake.

Okay, okay.

I am picturing a peaceful lake.

Imagine yourself floating on a raft...

Floating in the sunlight.

I am floating.

You're lazing in the warmth.

Sleeping, sleeping, sleeping.

Sleeping.

You're getting sleepy, very sleepy.

Your eyelids are getting heavy.

Yeah, yeah, sleepy, sleepy.

I'm getting-- [ snoring]

Hey, this is great!

You were right, cat.

I like being civililizized.

I feel like reading a classic work of literature.

[ With english accent]: hi, I'm william shakespeare.

May I suggest hamlet?

Thanks, billy, you old bard, you.

Yes, just let the music take you away.

[ Snoring]

"To be... [ Wheezes, snores]

Or not to be."

[ Snores, wheezes]

Come to papa!

[ Snarling]

Hey, what's your problem, cat?

Problem? Problem?

There's no problem.

I was just playing the violin

And i, i, i...

Oh, what the heck!

[ Snarls]

Say your prayers, rodent!

[ Shrieking]: hey!

Going somewhere, my tasty little morsel?

[ Babbling]

Cat!

[ Growling]

Dog: cat, stop!

[ Snarling]

Come here, winslow!

[ Yelping, grunting]

Here, winslow.

Winslow!

[ Yelping]

Winslow.

Cat, stop, stop!

You cannot eat winslow!

He is our friend.

He's your friend.

He's my dinner.

[ Yowling...]

[ Yelling]: whoa!

Cat, you can't do this.

What about being civililizized?

Huh?

[ Dog grunting]

Dinner is now served in the bedroom.

[ Ominously]: winslow.

Come out, come out, wherever you are.

Aha!

[ Gags]

[ Squeaks]

[ Cat roars]

Whoa! Whoa!

[ Yelling...]

[ Yowling...]

[ Winslow grunting, groaning]

[ Grunts]

Hi-ho, diggity!

Dog: don't!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Come here, winslow!

Winslow,winslow!

It's your old friend, cat!

Whoa! Hey, stop it!

[ Hissing]

He's mad! Mad!

Stop!

Friends don't let friends hurt friends.

I don't want to hurt winslow

I just want to eat him.

Besides, it's what my ancestors would want!

I have a family recipe.

No, cat.

Deep down inside

You know you love winslow.

Yeah!

And nothing says loving

Like something from the oven.

Like winslow amandine.

[ Hissing]

Hey, come on, big guy.

We can get takeout.

[ Howling]: stop!

If you chase mice

Then I'm going to chase you!

[ Growling]

Oh, no.

Wait! No, you--

[ Shrieks]

Dog, wait! No, dog, no!

I order you to stop this instant!

Hey, will you stop that?

[ Cat screeching...]

[ Whimpering]

How do you like that, cat?

[ Panting]: okay, dog.

Okay, fine.

I give up.

I won't eat winslow.

[ Whining]: just don't chase me anymore.

Okay.

Come back out, winslow.

Cat's okay now.

He's not going to eat you!

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

Sheesh louise, cat.

I thought I was going to end up inside you.

[ Chuckling]: don't be ridi...

Cat! Cat!

[ Swallows loudly]

[ Stomach sloshes]

That was totally uncalled for.

Cat, you finally came to your senses.

Uh, well, actually, no, I didn't.

I, uh, just got good taste.

And the bottom line is: winslow doesn't taste good.

Ooh... Heartburn.

Hah! I taste plenty good.

Lots of cats would give their left paw to eat me.

In some countries, I'm considered a delicacy.

[ Snickers]

I'm sorry, dog.

Thanks for trying to help.

Let's hope that never happens again.

It never will.

Come here, pal.

[ Chuckles] there's my buddy!

[ Sniffing]

What?

Dog? Dog, what are...

Dog, why are you... No, don't.

Dog, dog, dog, no.

Stop! Whoa!

No, you don't!

Dog! Dog!

[ Barking, screeching...]

Please stop!

[ Barking, screeching...]

♪ One fine day with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue bug and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline, canine

♪ Little catdog

♪ Catdog... Catdog...

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters putting catdog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it, got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together, got to sing this song ♪

♪ Catdog... Catdog...

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ♪