02x11 - It's A Wonderful Half Life / Shepherd Dog

[bunniefuu]

♪ One fine day, with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue buzzard, no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline, canine, little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog...

♪ Catdog

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters putting catdog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it, got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together, got to sing this song ♪

♪ Catdog...

♪ Catdog

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ♪

♪ Catdog...

♪ Catdog

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ♪





[ Train whistle blowing]

[ Whistle blows]

[ Groans]: dog!

You destroyed my dream house!

Sorry, cat.

How could you fit in there?

How could i...

Give me that!

It's a model, you nincompoop!

Sheesh, it was an accident.

[ Mockingly]: it was an accident.

Well, you know what?

So was that!

[ Yipes in horror]

You're always breaking my things!

You never want to have any fun!

I never want... That is...

You know what I wish?

I wish I wasn't attached to you.

[ Grunts]: yeah, well, I wish

I wasn't attached to me, either!

I mean, you, either.

Hey, keep it down.

Some of us are trying to work in here.

Butt out, rodent.

Good night, home-wrecker.

Good night, train-smasher.

[ Grunting and groaning]

Winslow: uh, uh, uh!

Remember, never go to bed mad.

[ Slams door]

Stupid dog. I wish I was separated

From your side.

You ruined my whole life.

[ Grunting]

[ Grunting and grumbling]

[ Both snoring]

Announcer: sweet dreams productions proudly presents:

"Dog's dream."

[ Music plays]

♪ Life is great, life is swell, I'm happy as can be ♪

♪ Everything is beautiful 'cause I'm just me ♪

♪ Here I am on my own, feeling fine and free ♪

♪ I'm just a dog, no cat attached, hi-ho-diggity! ♪

♪ Hello, mr. Sun.

♪ How are you today?

♪ As long as you're happy, dog, then I'm okay. ♪

♪ Hello, mr. Train, hoo-hoo. ♪

♪ Do you want to race? ♪

♪ Get ready and go.

Chorus: ♪ hey, that dog just won first place. ♪

[ Howling and gulping to music]

Burp!

[ Song ends]

Ahh, life is like a dream.

Announcer: and now, "cat's dream."

There will be no further interruptions.

[ Snoring]

[ Coyote howling]

[ Snoring]

Winslow.

Your caviar and milk, sir.

[ Gulps food, then sniffs drink]

Ahh, bossy ', a very good year.

Well, time to get to work.

Let's make some money.

[ Music plays]

♪ When you've got money, what else do you need? ♪

Who needs friends?

Just give me greed.

I love the way it smells, I love the way it sounds

I love the bucks, the marks, the yens, the francs and the pounds.

♪ I love money...

[ Giggles]

♪ I love money.

♪ I got gobs of it

♪ Bags of it

♪ Stacks and racks and sacks of it. ♪

♪ This cat's simply made of money. ♪

♪ You don't believe me, ha!

♪ Ask this bunny.

♪ He's rich as rich as rich as rich as rich as can be. ♪

I cannot tell a lie.

He's got a lot of me.

Sure as my name is abraham lincoln

This cat is rich, and I mean stinkin'.

All: ♪ he loves money.

♪ I love money.

All: ♪ he loves money.

[ Song ends]

I want moremoney!

Speed up production!

Winslow, who are those three greasy- looking types?

That's the greasers, sir.

Greasers, eh?

[ Chuckles]

[ Yelling]: hey, you three lowlifes!

Yes, mr. Cat?

Yes, boss man, sir?

Duh, yes, sir, rich person?

You're fired!

[ Laughs evilly]

Oh, I love doing that.

[ Crash]

[ Train whistle blowing]

That confounded railroad.

Buy it and move it.

[ Brakes squealing]

Come here, come here.

Get out of here.

Oh, you got me again.

Hiya, fellas.

My name's dog

With a "duh."

Can I play?

Sure, okay.

Why, we'd be glad to have you frolic with us.

Come here, come here.

I'm coming, I'm coming.

[ Laughing and chattering]

[ Car approaches, brakes squeak]

Hurry up, you laggards, move it that way!

Look at that riffraff, would you?

Having fun when they could be making money.

Good thing you ain't got

Any friends to have fun with, sir.

You're darn...

Get off my property

You no-good mangy mutts

Or I'll have you arrested!

We're just having fun.

Get out!

[ Music plays]

♪ That lousy cat

♪ That stinky cat

♪ That... Uh, who was we singin' about? ♪

♪ We're going to pound him, punch him ♪

♪ Roll him up and crunch him ♪

♪ Do, uh... Some more things that rhyme ♪

All: ♪ we're going to get...

♪ That...

♪ Cat.

[ Car horns blaring]

[ Train engine puffing]

Cat: winslow, take me home so I can count my money.

[ Song ends]

Hello, mr. Cat, we'd like a word with you.

Oh, no, winslow, they're going to get us.

Us?!

Uh, speak for yourself, whiskers.

This butler is history.

Winslow, come back!

You... You rat.

You're fired!

[ Panting]

Oh, hi.

[ Laughs nervously]

Um... Do I know you?

I don't think

I've had the pleasure.

[ Laughing and all talking at once]

Woman [ in distance]: dinnertime, kids!

Uh-oh.

Coming, mom.

Well, we got to go.

But can't you stay a little longer?

One more game... Please?

Woman: I said, dinner!

We're coming, we're coming.

We have to go home.

[ Music plays]

Bye.

♪ Someday maybe I'll have a home ♪

♪ Shaped like a fish or maybe a bone ♪

♪ And maybe someday I'll have a friend ♪

♪ And we'd stick together

♪ Through thick and through thin. ♪

Greaser: get him!

Say your prayers, mr. Cat.

You're going to the big litter box in the sky.

Duh, where?

[ Whimpering]

Dog: hey!

Three against one ain't fair.

Says who?

Says me!

[ Hard punch]

Dog: come on, follow me!

[ Bell ringing]

[ Panting and gasping]

[ Yelling and panting]

Come on, take my paw.

I... Can't... Do... It.

You... Must... Do... It.

[ Panting]

You saved my life.

You were in trouble.

I sure was.

Hey, my name's cat.

What's yours?

Dog, with a "duh."

Well, dog, with a "duh"

You're coming home with me.

[ Music plays]

♪ Now I have a home

♪ And I got a friend

Both: ♪ and this is the way all dreams should end. ♪

[ Both screaming, train whistle blows]

[ Warning bells ringing]

[ Crash]

[ Both chuckling bashfully]

[ Sighs]

Um, uh... Dog?

Um, uh, yeah?

Uh...

What do you say we fix your train?

Sure, but let's fix your dream house first.

It's a deal.

Hi-ho-diggity!

Let's start at moving this home.

First step: power tools!

What's that smell?

Um, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa!

[ Machine whirring]

[ Clock ticking loudly]

[ Fan creaking]

[ Snoring]

[ Groaning]

Oh, crumb.

[ Clock ticking, dog snoring, fan creaking]

[ Crashing outside]

Ah!

[ Bleating]

[ With scottish accent]: come back here, you furry brutes!

Hey, hey, I'm trying to sleep up here!

Ahh...!

Dog: what's going on, cat?

Who's out there?

[ Sheep bleating]

[ Whimpering]

[ Mesmerized]: sheep... Sheep...

Dog, what's the matter with you?

Sheeps.... Sheep!

Cat: wait, dog...

[ Dog growling and yelping]

[ Snarling]

[ Dog barking, sheep bleating]

[ Dog barking excitedly]

Dog: come on, sheepies.

[ Panting]

Ahh!

[ Sheep bleating]

[ Whimpering happily]

[ Bleating]

What was that?

I don't know, but it felt so right.

[ Panting]

Name's maggie macdougall.

I run the biggest sheep farm

This side of brigadoon.

[ Imitating scottish accent]: I'm going back to bed.

Wait, ye cannot go!

That be the best herding I've ever seen.

I want to hire your dog.

I'm all yours.

Um, excuse me... I'm dog's manager.

Sorry, my client is booked solid.

I'll give you double

What I gave my last sheep dog.

Oh, well, we couldn't possibly miss

The sheep-shearing show in sheboygan.

Oh, no, no, wait-- I'll triple it.

Quadriple it

And I'll tell sheboygan to shove off.

[ Laughing]: oh, you got yourself a deal.

You got yourself a sheep dog.

Ahh!

Dog: look at all those sheep!

And I get to serve and protect them

And make sure they are safe and comfortable.

And I get to make money.

[ Chuckles gleefully]

Dog: okay, you may have had problems with sheep dogs in the past

But I want this to be fun for all of us.

Cat?

Concentrate on the money.

[ Plays a few notes]

Pay attention, ladies!

Up on those hooves!

And five, six... Five, six, seven, eight!

[ Bleating to the tune of "can can"]

[ Gasping for air]: oh, this has got to stop.

I'm telling you, cat, I got a gift.

Okay, girls, let's rev it up.

[ Bleating]

Just think about the money.

Ow! Ooh!

Here's your pay, laddie.

You've earned it.

Come to papa!

Four heaping bags of doggie chow.

What? Dog chow?

Wow!

You're a shrewd negotiator, cat.

Me last dog only got one wee bag.

[ Groaning]

[ Gobbling food]

Our sheepherding days are over.

[ With scottish accent]: speak for yourself, laddie.

Dog, you've got enough dog chow to last a lifetime.

Cat, I do not do it for the chow.

I do it for the love of herding.

Hoot, mon, it's in me blood.

Well, it's not in my half.

I hate this.

Herding hurts, dog.

But I was born to be a sheep dog

And maybe someday I'll be able to achieve

The sheep dog's greatest formation:

The shepherd's pyramid.

Good night, laddie, sweet dreams.

The sheep are bad

But I reallyhate the cute scottish phrases.

Dog: ♪ oh, lambs to the left and ewes to the right ♪

♪ Sheep make a circle, please don't bite. ♪

Dog, can you load

These sheep into me truck?

[ Imitating macdougall]: dog, can you load these sheep into me truck?

Well, we'll just see how far he gets.

[ Giggles evilly]

Hmm, you know, there's really only one way they'll all fit.

Swivel left... Lead on, macduff.

[ Hooves pounding]

[ Bleats]

[ Sweetly]: well, hi.

Are you a poor little lamb who has lost its way?

[ Bleats]

Dog: I've got the perfect spot for you.

I did it! I did it!

I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it!

The shepherd's pyramid!

Wow, you really are a great sheep dog.

Cat... In sheep's clothing?

[ Wholeheartedly]: dog, you found your purpose in life.

I won't stand in your way anymore.

That's okay, I'm through being a sheep dog.

Well, once you've done the shepherd's pyramid

There's nowhere to go but down.

Well, hi-ho-diggity to that!

Hey, maggie, taking the sheep on a nice sunday drive?

No, I'm taking them to the slaughterhouse.

But it'll be a nice drive getting them there.

Well, have a happy day.

[ Gasps]

Slaughterhouse?!

Aah!

Dog: no, anywhere but there!

[ Whimpering]

Dog, help!

They're going to turn us into lamb chops.

[ Sniffs]

I smell mint jelly.

[ Dog whimpering]

[ Panting]

Wow, what a trip.

Come on, dog.

We're just scared little sheep

And we need our shepherd.

You're my only hope!

Don't worry, I'll save you!

I saw this in a movie once.

Wait a minute, dog.

Don't get out!

Whoa!

[ Straining]

♪ You take the high road and I'll take the low road ♪

♪ And I'll slaughter helpless sheep before ye... ♪

[ Bleating in terror]

Oh, please, please, please...

Dog: whoa!

Who gave this woman a license?

[ Dog yelps]

Oh, no.

[ Gulps]

[ Sobbing]

[ Bleating mournfully]

[ Bleats happily]

[ Sobbing]

[ Bleats ecstatically]

You mean dog's alive?

And he's going to unhitch us

From maggie's truck?

I did it! I did it!

You're free.

You're fr....

[ Screaming and moaning]

[ Screaming in confusion]

Dog!

Cat!

Let go!

♪ I making no stops till I make them lamb chops ♪

♪ And I'll slaughter helpless sheep before ye... ♪

You're safe now.

[ Sheep bleating]

Good job, dog, but...

What are we going to do with all these sheep?

Dog [ with scottish accent]: all right, lassies, let's keep it moving.

[ Sheep bleating, cat counting sleepily]

[ Snoring]

, ... Get those chops up, bonnie.

, ... Good work.

Next stop, sheboygan.





♪ ...no three-eyed frog

♪ Just a feline, canine, little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog...

♪ Catdog

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters putting catdog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it, got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together, got to sing this song ♪

♪ Catdog...

♪ Catdog

♪ Alone in the world was a little catdog. ♪

♪ Catdog

♪ Catdog...