03x09 - Firedog/Dog Show

[bunniefuu]

♪ One fine day with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue bug and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline-canine little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog ♪

♪ Catdog ♪

♪ Alone in the world is the little catdog ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters puttin' catdog down ♪

♪ Gotta rise above it, gotta try to get along ♪

♪ Gotta walk together, gotta sing this song ♪

♪ Catdog ♪

♪ Catdog ♪

♪ Alone in the world is the little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog ♪

♪ Catdog♪

♪ Catdog ♪

♪ Catdog♪

♪ Alone in the world is the little catdog. ♪





[ Humming]

Hmm?

[ Inhaling]

Cat: mmm... Mmm...

[ Cat chuckling and sniffing]

[ Inhaling deeply]

Fish chili!

[ Cat laughing maniacally]

Oh, oh...

Oh, big, shiny, red.

Oh, boy, cat.

Wouldn't it be fun to get a job as a firehouse dog?

[ Siren wailing]

[ Screaming]

I want to be a hero!

[ Cat coughing]

Oh-ho... Boy.

[ Cheering in distance]

Dog, you've got it all wrong.

We want to be fire dog

Because it's the cushiest job in nearburg.

You just sit on your duff all day.

I did not even know we had a duff.

Aw, sure, it's a good one.

Plus, they make a fish chili

That is to die for.

Firehouse food is legendary.

Got any threes?

Go fish.

Yeah? What do you want?

We want to be firehouse dog, please.

What, what, what-- are you trying to make me laugh?

No.

Oh, good, because you're not funny.

First of all, we already

Have a firehouse dog.

[ Growls]

And second of all, it's a firehouse dog

Not a firehouse catdog.

Why, you're not even fit

To mop the floor in here.

Hold it, hold it.

I was just kidding.

Of course you're fit to mop the floor.

Forget it. Right, cat?

Wrong, dog.

Don't you see?

This way

We'll never actually have to risk our necks

And we'll still get that delicious

Fish chili.

[ Whimpers]

Oh...

That smells chili-licious.

Come and get it.

Here I come, baby.

Don't they have a weight requirement?

Next.

What are you two doing?

Chili's for firefighters only.

Out of my way, four eyes.

Now, get back to work.

When you finish polishing the pole and greasing the truck

I want you to polish the truck and grease the pole.

Yes, sir.

Okay, lube

We give up.

Yeah, so come out, come out

Wherever you are already.

Duh... I can't.

I'm stuck in the thing with the leaves.

Cat, normally I like stinky stuff

But this stinks

And in a bad way.

Let's go home.

Not until I get some of that fish chili.

[ Rings]

Nearburg fire station-- you light 'em, we fight 'em.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Eh? Uh-huh.

Lube's in the tree again, let's roll.

Ooh! Oh! Ooh!

Can we go, can we go?

Please, can we go, can we go?

Well... No.

And when we get back this place better be spotless.

And don't even think about the chili--

It's under lock and key.

[ Alarm]

Darn, we missed our big chance.

And they locked up your chili.

Please, they haven't invented the safe

That could keep out yours truly.

Dixie, I'm taking you out of the starting rotation.

No, you can't do that.

I still got plenty of good milk left in me.

Sorry. I'm sending you

To the bullpen.

[ Disco music plays][ bull moos]

I was a top milk producer for years

And this is the thanks I get?

Where's the loyalty?

Oopsie.

Show me the chili.

[ Alarm]

I didn't do it! I was just...

Wait, cat, wait!

That is the maximum important, urgent

Critical fire alarm siren bell klaxon.

Oh.

Oh, well, in that case.

We got to get over there.

What are you doing?

Look out!

[ Imitating siren]

[ Yelling]

This is fun.

[ Yelling]

Help us, please.

Help us.

Keep calm, I'll save you.

Ow, ow, ooh.

Hot, hot, hot, hot.

It's useless, cat.

We can't help.

Oh, the humidity.

All right, you just get a hold of yourself, dog.

We can do this.

We've just got to stay calm.

Now...

Follow me!

Okay, bite down.

So, water

We meet again.

[ Mooing]

Come on, cat, hurry, I smell hamburger.

Do it for the cows

Do it for the cows, do it for the cows.

If this works, I better be getting free milk

For the rest of my life.

You ready?

[ Yelling]

What are you doing here?

You're supposed to be back at the firehouse cleaning up.

We were, but duty called.

We got a call from duty.

You're fired!

Which reminds me, have you seen a fire around here?

About this big, very hot?

You saved our lives!

You saved my farm.

Let's hear it for catdog.

Hooray.

Okay, maybe you're not fired.

And so, for extraordinary courage--

Even if this place is still a mess--

I bestow upon catdog

This medal.

[ Applause]

I would like to thank everyone who made this possible.

Dixie, for starting the fire.

Zip it, firedog.

Listen, chief

You know what I'd really like

Is some of that sweet

Firehouse fish chili.

Oh, what the heck.

It's probably gone bad by now, anyway.

Hi-ho diggity!

Hey, that's my catchphrase.

Ooh.

[ Sniffs]

Finally, the holy grail of chili.

What do you think?

Uh, needs hot sauce.

Now, careful, dog.

You better not...

Whoa.

Now it has got

Whang.

Ah! Hey, what the?

Uh-oh.

[ Alarm]

Catdog!

I'm going to wring your neck.

I mean, necks.

Whatever.

Tonight at rancid rabbit's nearburg square garden--

Available for all occasions at reasonable rates--

The nearburg dog show.

See the classiest canines competing for a trip

To exotic tropicali.

Tropicali?

Oh, I'd give anything

To go to that beautiful island paradise.

I've always wanted to enter a dog show.

But, cat, we're not a dog.

Details, details, my good man.

Follow me.

Now, I've got the brains

And you've got the brawn

To win this competition.

We just have to look like a real show dog.

French poodle?

Non.

German shepherd?

Nein.

Boxer?

Yo, dog, this ain't gonna work.

Ah!

Sophisticated, yet playful.

Perfect-o-rama.

Tropicali, here we come.

Cat: man, this place is chock full of... Dogs.

Yeah, and these are

The fanciest-looking dogs I've ever seen.

Now, don't psych yourself out.

You're just as fancy as any one of them.

Rancid: shake a leg, boys.

I've got a monster truck rally coming in here in two hours.

Now, dog, remember

The most important thing-- smile.

[ Grunts]

Bigger.

You call that a smile?

[ Grunting]

Perfect.

My jaw is going numb, cat.

Cat? Where's a cat?

Who let a cat in here?

[ All growling]

Big dogs, scary dogs.

Do something!

Did I say "cat"?

I meant to say

Another word other than "cat" that I can't think of right now.

Afghans, heh.

Now, step aside.

Darcy de winter has arrived.

I really don't know why you all even bother to show up.

The trophy's mine.

Don't we have to have the competition first?

Only if you like the taste of shameful defeat.

Does that come with de-gravy?

Let's get this over with.

And don't forget, folks

Popcorn is only ten bucks a handful.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, let's meet our fabulous judges:

Superstar actor mean bob.

Hi, I'm mean bob and I'm mad.

Baseball great murray "the mule" marconi.

This is the world series of dog shows.

The whole thing's a grand slam.

Everyone's an all-star.

Enough with the baseball, murray.

[ Groans]

And finally, champion dog breeder camilla bowlesworth.

Oh, thank you, rancie.

And may I compliment you on your glossy coat?

You may and you did.

We'll begin with our question- and-answer segment.

Contestant number one.

Who is the most important person in your life and why?

That would be me.

[ Audience murmuring]

I mean, that'd be my mama

Because she raised us all with good morals.

I love you, mama.

[ Cheers]

But that dog has an english accent.

You see, dog?

That's the secret to winning these contests--

You have to lie.

But I don't want to lie.

Are you an afghan?

No.

Then too late-- you're already lying.

Now, then

Let's win this thing.

Darcy, what would you do

If you were president?

Well, any idiot could answer that one...

I mean, why, I'd shelter the homeless

And bring about world peace.

[ Applause and cheers]

Contestant number three

If you had one wish, what would it be?

I would wish for a giant meat, meat, meaty bone.

[ Shocked gasps]

Oh, he's so selfish.

He only thinks of himself.

Dog!

Doh-ee!

I wish for a bone

And then I would share that bone

With all the hungry, bone-eating dogs of the world.

[ Cheers and applause]

Whew.

That was close.

Not bad, but see how well you do

In the swimsuit competition.

We look pretty gosh-darn good in a swimsuit

Thank you very much.

"We"?

I mean, me.

Me look pretty good in a swimsuit, ug.

Ah, they'll let anyone in these competitions.

Excuse me.

I always oil up in private.

And now, please put your paws together

For our fabulous furry friends in their swimsuits.

Oh, this is so degrading.

I disagree. I am proud of our body.

I think that one may have worms.

Wonderful, wonderful.

Fabulous swimsuits, dogs.

I don't think that's regulation swimwear.

What's going on?

Dog, we've got to get out of here.

These dogs are getting suspicious.

And now, the moment you've been waiting for

The talent competition.

[ Yawning]

[ Snoring]

Oh, contestant number three.

[ Clears throat]

Ludwiggy van beerhoven's moonlight sinatra.

One, two, three, four.

[ Playing third movement of "moonlight sonata" ]

I saw a guy bunt with his forehead once

But I ain't never seen no one play the piano with his butt.

[ Cheers]

That was so good!

Dog, I think we're going to win this puppy.

Oh, we get a puppy, too?

What a coincidence.

I, too, will play beethoven's moonlight sonata.

Been there, done that.

And at the same time

I will perform quadruple-bypass heart surgery.

One, two, three, four.

[ Gasps of amazement]

[ Cheers]

Wow! He didn't even get the piano keys bloody.

Good-bye, tropicali.

The winner of the nearburg dog show is

[ Drum roll]

Contestant number three:

The awesome afghan.

You just can't b*at a guy who plays with his butt.

We did it.

We did it.

Well, what do you got to say?

Um, I've got to say I can't accept this.

[ Gasping]

Dog, what are you doing?

I didn't win this fair and square.

See, I'm not really an afghan.

[ Grunts]

I'm a catdog.

[ Gasping]

Dog!

Catdog! I should have recognized you

In that bathing suit.

The trophy goes to darcy de winter--

Purebred to perfection;

The epitome of poise, class and sophistication.

Get that cat!

Get that cat!

Dogs, control yourselves.

You're pure breeds.

Murray, I think I'm going to faint.

Say your prayers, kitty cat.

Really? Could i?

It'll just take a minute.

[ Silence]

[ Pained howls]

Enough's enough.

Your behavior is totally disgraceful

And as for you two...

We just wanted to win.

We were wrong.

We're sorry.

I really would have shared my big bone

With all the hungry dogs.

Why, I've never seen such honesty

In a dog show before.

And playing with his butt, don't forget that.

All right, all right, let's finish this thing.

Congratulations, you're the best catdog in show.

Now, skedaddle.

It's monster truck time.

Look at that, cat-- we did it!

Tropicali, here we come!

Tropicali

Dog hotel.

[ Chuckling]

My worst nightmare has come true.

Aw, cheer up.

It's only for another nine fun-filled days and nights, cat.

Did someone say "cat"?

♪ One fine day with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue bug, and no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline-canine little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog ♪

♪ Catdog ♪

♪ Alone in the world is the little catdog ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters puttin' catdog down ♪

♪ Gotta rise above it, gotta try to get along ♪

♪ Gotta walk together, gotta sing this song ♪

♪ Catdog ♪

♪ Catdog ♪

♪ Alone in the world is the little catdog ♪

♪ Catdog ♪

♪ Catdog♪

♪ Catdog ♪

♪ Catdog♪

♪ Alone in the world is the little catdog. ♪