04x05 - CatDog's Adventures in Winslowland/Mean Bob, We Hardly Knew Ye

[bunniefuu]

♪ One fine day with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue buzzard, no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline, canine, little CatDog ♪

♪ CatDog... CatDog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little CatDog ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters putting CatDog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it, got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together, got to sing this song ♪

♪ CatDog... CatDog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little CatDog ♪

♪ CatDog... CatDog...♪

♪ CatDog... CatDog...♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little CatDog. ♪





[ crowd cheering...]

[ man snarls]

[ dramatic voice]: I'm Mean Bob

and I'm mad at you, Evil Eric

and now I'm going to rid the world

of you and your evil once and for all!

[ laughing evilly]

You've got it wrong, Mean Bob.

Prepare to be destroyed.

[ Dog laughs]

That's a laugh! Go get him, Mean Bob!

Yeah, keep it real, Mean Bob!

Oh, how long till

this ridiculous thing is over, Dog?

We still have six more jam-packed hours

of fantastic fun at...

The th Annual Mean Bob Super Fan Convention!

Fool! This is for what you did

to Banana Girl and Dr. Zimmerman!

[ beeping and zapping]

Aah... oof!

[ laughing]

I shall now zap

Mean Bob's puny brain

with my appropriately named Brain Zapper.

Never! My mental meanness shall triumph over evilness!

[ grunts]

[ whispers, normal voice]: Hey, Johnny, show's going pretty well.

[ whispers, normal voice]: Never seen better.

[ crowd cheering]

This is so fake!

Perhaps the Net of Death

is more to your liking.

[ laughs]

And... [ laughs]

[ gasps]

Your brain is mine!

Into the Vat of Vengeance!

Oh, Cat, Evil Eric's

finally going to destroy Mean Bob and zap his brain!

How will anyone know?

I must save him!

Dog, what are you do... whoa!

Whoa... whoa...

This isn't how we rehearsed this!

[ crowd exclaiming angrily...]

[ grunting and yelling]

Cat, we got to get Mean Bob out of here before he gets hurt!

CAT: What about me...?!

Dog, what the heck are you doing?

Taking Mean Bob to a super secret hideout

where no one will ever think to look for him.

CAT: Great secret hideout, Doggy Doodles.

Oh, can you believe it, Cat?

Mean Bob is in our house, on our sofa

propped up on our pillows.

Look, Dog, he's just a goofball

in a two-bit costume

and now the rest of those other

loser geeks like you are after us!

Aw, he even looks all mean when he's asleep.

Wake up! Rise and shine!

[ imitates rooster]

[ normal voice]: Huh... hee... hoo...

uh... what... where...

Where am I?

DOG: Safe in the home

of your number one fan.

Don't look at me.

He's the fan. I'm the one with the brain.

And who am I?

Who are you... [ laughs]

That's funny.

You're Mean Bob.

Mean, but fair.

Oh... so who's Mean Bob?

Oh, no!

Evil Eric did zap Mean Bob's brain

with the appropriately named Brain Zapper!

I think both your brains got zapped.

He is suffering from major brain zappage.

We must restore him to the glory

that once was Mean Bob!

I feel woozy.

Listen... he even forgot his Mean Bob voice.

Will someone please tell me who I am?

Why you're...

[ dramatically]: Mean Bob... born on Atlantis

raised on the planet Jupiter

schooled at Superhero Trade Tech College in Iowa!

Here's your Mean Bob Atomic Battery Belt

with super pants- holding-up power!

And your Bionic Brain Bucket

with laser action and three premium cable channels included.

Those are props!

You're an actor, so...

why don't you fire your agent, do some lunch

have another facelift

and act like you're leaving.

You cannot send him out there!

Mean Bob doesn't know who he is.

[ disgusted sigh]

But maybe if I reenact

several scenes from Mean Bob's movies

I can restore his memory.

Huh?

Let the reenacting begin!

Mm-mm-mm...

You must remember the famous fight scene

from Mean Bob vs. Evil Eric on theTitanic.

Hmm...

The Titanic!

Remember?

Nope, nope, nope.

Then let the show begin!

Aah!

You be Evil Eric.

[ grunting]

It's a giant iceberger!

[ gasps]

[ gurgling]

[ gurgling]

[ gasps]

Dog, have you lost what little mind you have?

You almost k*lled me!

Cat, we must help Mean Bob.

I don't want to help Mean Bob!

I want to be dry and I want him out of here!

Do you remember, Mean Bob?

Nope... sorry.

CAT: Good enough.

Oh, drat, the Brain Zapper was more powerful than I thought.

Quick, another reenactment!

DOG: Oh, you got to remember the famous rocket sled fight

from Mean Bob's Switzerland Vacation of Vengeance.

Oh, now wait a minute, Dog.

Hee-hee!

Oh... oh... oh...!

How come this never hurts you, too?!

Aah... ooh!

[ panting]

Nice acting, Cat.

Do you remember

now?

Sorry.

Darn you, Evil Eric!

Darn you all to darnness!

Your evilness knows no bounds!

Quick! To the kitchen!

What about Mean Bob Meets Evil Eric Again

and Is Introduced to His Cousin, the Mistress of Pain?

Okay, Dog.

That's it!

This has gone on long enough!

Oof!

So, Mistress of Pain, we meet again

in the Food Court of Flatulence!

[ fart noise]

[ screaming]

Dog!

Oh... oh... ow...!

I don't remember anything.

It's a lost cause.

No, it's not!

You've made movies.

I can do them all!

Like Rhapsody in Doom!

Sweet mother of chub!

[ playing quickly, Cat grunting...]

Enough! Enough!

I'm Cat, and I'm mad!

[ barking and yelling...]

Wait! That looks familiar!

Like the scene from The Good, the Bad and the Mean Bob!

It's all coming back to me!

[ Cat grunting and groaning]

I think it was a wee bit tighter.

Are you out of your mind...

I remember!

I know who I am!

[ dramatic voice]: I am Mean Bob, and I'm mad!

Yes, yes!

He's Mean Bob and he's mad

and, baby, he knows it!

[ grunting]

You're both mad, as in crazy, insane and loony!

DOG: Huh? Who's that?

[ crowd yelling]

Aah! It's Evil Eric and his Angry Army of Darkness!

Someone must have told them

of our super secret hideout

and I think I know who that someone is.

No, no, never!

Cat would never...

[ Cat whistles loudly]

Mean Bob's in here!

Come and get him!

And if you want a crazy dog, I got one of those, too!

[ yelling]

Cat, how could you?

You are a traitor!

A spy! A turncoat!

Much as I enjoy name-calling

we must restrain him

in an effective but non-dangerous substance

so we may fight Evil Eric.

Hmm... safe but absorbent.

CAT: Hey, what are you guys... [ muffled grunting]

[ whistling]

We'll deal with you later, friend of Evil Eric.

ERIC: Hey, Mean Bob!

We don't get paid

unless we finish the show for these loser geeks!

ALL: Losers?!

Geeks?!

[ laughs nervously]

Um, kidding... I was just kidding.

I love you geeks.

Come on, let's get Mean Bob!

[ all cheering]

Get Mean Bob!

[ yelling, banging on door]

[ both panting]

Quick, to the Balcony of Destiny!

Crowd: Come on... we want Mean Bob...

Get the show on the road!

Here, use my Mean Bob Rocket Jet Pack Launching Pad

I got free in a box of Mean Bob Breakfast Corndogs.

Dive off of this and use your Super Jet Pack

to swoop up into the air and att*ck from the east

using the sun as a blinding ray

and ridding the world of Evil Eric once and for all!

Excellent idea!

This I got to see.

Come on, let's go.

We got a show to do.

Don't you mean showDOWN, Evil Eric?

I will go and fight now

but I shall never forget what you did for me

the one who is called Dog.

Aw, you're welcome, Mean Bob.

I'm not finished.

Sorry.

And I will continue

to fight evil

especially Evil Eric

for I... am... Mean Bob!

[ crying]: I love you, Mean Bob!

I'm quite fond of you.

I'm going to throw up.

Rocket Jet Pack power on!

Huh...? Mmm...

Ah...

[ crowd gasps]

[ thud, crunch]

MEAN BOB: Ow!

What a rip-off!

I want my money back!

That's the worst show I've ever seen!

Is it over? Is that it?

You stink!

[ normal voice]: Uh... who am I?

Where am I?

Oh, I'm woozy again.

Gee, I guess he wasn't Mean Bob.

Gee, you think?

That's the first intelligent thing you've said

in the last minutes.

Mmm... You're not so dumb yourself.

DOG: I'm Mean Bob

and I'm mad!

And I'm not going to take it anymore!

Hey, Dog!

Look what I found in my attic.

Oh, wow, a professional fetching ball!

Look at that!

I didn't know you had an attic, Winslow.

There's a lot of things you don't know about me

Mr. Curious

and I want to keep it that way.

Come on, Cat, let's play fetch!

No, Dog, please, I'm relaxing.

Yeah, I'd love to stick around

but I got places to go and people to see.

[ whistling]

[ door creaks]

Hmm, Winslow left his door open.

We better close it.

Uh, yes, we could do that

or, um, we could take a little peekity-peek inside.

We might find out something juicy.

But Cat, you always say, "Don't stick your nose...

BOTH: "...in other people's houses or holes." Right.

I know.

So... let's do something else.

Let's play fetch.

Fetch?!

Yes.

Oh, yeah, hi-ho diggity!

You ready?

And... go get it!

Whoo, ball, ball, ball...

Ball, ball, ball...

Ball, ball, ball, ball...

Dog! How could you?

I am shocked, stunned and stupefied.

Why, you are nothing but

a lowdown dirty trespasser!

Cat, I'm so sorry.

I didn't mean it!

What's a trespasser?

[ sighs]

Well, I suppose I don't have to

tell Winslow what you did.

Whew, thanks, Cat.

Oh...

What a dump!

Almost makes you feel sorry

for the poor little rat...

but not quite.

Well, let us now go and tresapass no more.

Wait a minute, whoa, whoa, whoa!

What's Winslow doing with a picture of me?

[ beep]

Sweet mother of chub.

A secret passageway.

Now... don't go in there

you little trespasser, you.

Remember, curiosity k*lled the dog.

I thought it was cat.

Popular misconception.

It's dog, trust me.

In fact...

See?! You're trespassing again!

Bad, curious dog!

WINSLOW: That's right, friends, step right up.

Only a few measly bucks!

Hey, give me one!

[ laughing]: Heh-heh-heh.

Wonder what that little rat's got in here.

[ beeping...]

Huh?

MAN [ on tape]: Welcome to the Historical Hall

of Winslow T. Oddfellow.

[ grunting]

Hey, Mr. Prehistoric.

Heh-heh-heh!

MAN: Here you see Winslow's illustrious ancestors

who have carried on the grand tradition

of harassing and laughing...

Heh-heh, heh-heh.

...at the discomfort and agony of others.

Ooh-la-la! Zat's going to sting!

[ laughing]

What do you know?

It's a Winslow family tradition

to harass and ridicule.

Oh, come on, Cat.

We really shouldn't be in here.

[ guillotine clangs]

[ Cat shudders]

Oh, who's going to stop me?

[ alarm blares]

Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh.

[ laughing]

Why, you little...

There's my ball!

Come on, Cat, let's go.

If Winslow finds us in here...

It will be your fault, Mr. Trespasser

and don't forget it.

Ooh... let's go out

through that door.

But, Cat, it says...

"Do Not En-ter."

Well, we're not entering.

[ panting]

We're exiting.

[ grunts]

[ clank]

[ air rushing...]

BOTH: Ooh! Whoa...!

CAT: Whoa...

♪ Pretty little piece of paradise ♪

♪ Not as pretty as me... ♪

Huh?!

BOTH: Whoa... ah... yah-yah-yah...

Duh... washy-washy with the soapy

Clean, cleany-clean.

Duh... hey, water, you look like CatDog.

Aah!

CAT: My body, my body, my body...

MR. SUNSHINE: Weird.

My body, my body, my body...

Wha, wha, wha...

[ Dog grunting]

So that's how that little rat pops up all over the place.

[ whirring]

WOMAN [ on tape]: Welcome to the Cat Annihilation Center and Gift Shop.

Commence the CatDog home improvement sequence.

Aah...

Initiate Cat brain replacement simulation.

Brain replacement complete.

Oh, Dog... look what he wants to do to my brain!

My beautiful brain! Ooh!

[ gasps]

What the...? Oof!

Aw, Cat, look at the cute little Winslow dolls.

Give me that!

Who in the world would want a Winslow toy?

Me, me, me, me, me!

My name is Winslow RFX

designed for mass destruction

and devastation of Cat.

Heh-heh-heh.

Aw, cool! Can I have one?

No, you can't have one!

Don't you see?

I've finally uncovered the riddle of Winslow!

He's after me!

ALL: Get Cat! Destroy Cat! Heh-heh-heh!

Get Cat! Destroy Cat!

Run!

But what about my ball?

Forget your stupid ball!

Dog, look!

It says "exit."

E-X-I-T.

The sweetest four letters in the English language!

What...?

"Last Top Secret Room..."

Yeah, let's go.

"...Before You Leave Winslow's Home."

"Do Not Enter Under Any Circumstances.

This Means You, Cat!"

Wow! That must... oh, and it's just... and, ooh...

ROBOTS: Get Cat! Destroy Cat! Heh-heh-heh!

Cat, I thought we needed to get you out of here?

Get Cat! Destroy Cat! Heh-heh-heh!

Must... look... inside.

Yah... [ panting]

"Curiosity k*lled the cat?"

See, I told you it was cat.

Oh...!

Get Cat! Destroy Cat!

Heh-heh-heh!

[ grunts]

Destroy Cat!

Heh-heh-heh!

Get Cat!

Destroy Cat!

Heh-heh-heh!

Get Cat! Destroy Cat! Heh-heh-heh!

[ drum roll]

Cat: Wh-wh-what's that?

Dog: I believe it's a timpani roll

signifying the beginning of a show.

Yup, I was right.

WINSLOW: It's...

time for... The Painful Adventures of a Curious Cat!

[ laughing]

[ beep]

[ whirring]

[ whimpers]

Ooh, look, Cat!

It's my ball.

Gee, I don't remember it being that big.

CAT: Guh! Run...!

[ yelling]

DOG: Can't fit through there.

Ha-ha!

CAT: Ah, no fair!

[ Cliff laughs]

Now, this is television

at its best!

Dog looks all dreamy on TV...

Duh, which one is the dog

and which one is the thing that's not the dog...

and which is the TV?

[ panting and yelping]

Go, Dog, go!

Up here!

[ panting and yelling]

[ gasps]

Uh...

Oh...

DOG: Oh, boy...

[ whimpers]

[ yelling]

CAT: No fair, no fair, no fair!

[ panting and yelping]

I don't like this, I don't like this!

DOG: Oh, it's behind us!

Stay, stay, whoa!

[ panting]

Hi, Cat!

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

[ grunts]

That's the last time I use the old

get-Dog-to-fetch-the-ball trick so I can trespass!

What?! Say, wait a minute!

Ow!

You tricked me into tresapassing!

Well, it's your fault!

You're so easy to trick.

And remember, it takes two to trick!

[ screaming]

[ grunt]

[ Cat groans and sputters]

Hmph! I never want to play fetch with you again!

Ne, meither.

[ gasps]

Oh... boy!

[ grunting and yelling]

CAT: No more fetching, no more fetching!

Stop!

This is so exciting, I could scream.

Ah... ah...

Hey, my friends are getting hurt on TV!

What do you mean, your friends?

I met them first!

[ crash]

[ laughing]

ROBOTS: Heh-heh-heh! Heh-heh-heh!

[ laughing]

[ laughing]

No... stop!

I hate this. [ laughing]

Stop... [ laughing]

Stop, I can't take it!

[ laughter]

Even though I'm laughing, this really, really hurts!

[ laughing]

[ laughing]

Well, I hope youse folks enjoyed the show.

I know I did!

[ laughing]

[ coughing]

Water!

♪ One fine day with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue buzzard, no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline, canine, little CatDog ♪

♪ CatDog... CatDog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little CatDog ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters putting CatDog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it, got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together, got to sing this song ♪

♪ CatDog... CatDog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little CatDog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little CatDog. ♪