04x06 - The Old CatDog and the Sea/Cat Gone Bad

[bunniefuu]

♪ One fine day with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue buzzard, no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline, canine, little CatDog ♪

♪ CatDog... CatDog...

♪ Alone in the world was a little CatDog ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters putting CatDog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it, got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together, got to sing this song ♪

♪ CatDog... CatDog...

♪ Alone in the world was a little CatDog ♪

♪ CatDog... CatDog...♪

♪ CatDog... CatDog...♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little CatDog. ♪





[ Cat humming...]

Purr-fect!

Bed made, books dusted and alphabetized

and bills paid and ready for mailing.

Ah... nothing better than completing

one's responsibilities, eh, Dog?

Hmm? Oh, yeah.

Right you are, Cat.

I have finally completed my "Meats of the World" collection

sculpted entirely of pre-chewed bubble gum.

Behold... the majesty of the Belgian rump roast!

Oh, Dog, look at this place!

Imagine if I acted like you.

It would be a shambles!

Sorry, Cat.

Oh, no you don't!

[ cats howling]

Now what?

[ talking and howling]

Great chub of Jericho... alley cats!

There goes the neighborhood!

Alley cats?

Oh, boy, alley cats!

Uh, what's an alley cat, Cat?

Alley cats, Dog

are nothing but common hooligans.

Loafers, ne'er-do-wells, complete and utter shirkers

of responsibility!

[ gasps]

Shirkers of responsibility?!

Right.

Can we be alley cats, Cat?

No, we cannot be alley cats, Cat... I mean, Dog.

Maybe if we just ignore them, they'll go away.

ALLEY CAT: Yow! Me-ow!

[ snoring]

[ muttering sleepily]: Give me the chub.

Just a taste.

Give me that sweet chub.

ALLEY CAT: Ow!

Huh, huh, what?

What is that infernal noise?!

Dig this, dig this, dig this!

[ scat-singing]

[ applause]

See, Dog, those alley cats are nothing but trouble!

Dog?

[ snoring, bongo playing]

♪ Dig it, meow-wow, meow-meow, baby ♪

♪ Dig it, meow-wow, ooh, baby-baby ♪

♪ Dig it, meow-wow, skiddley-bop, baby ♪

♪ Scratchity-watchity, wobbity-bobbity, stickety-wickety ♪

♪ Baby, dig it, meow-wow, meow-meow, baby ♪

♪ Dig it, meow-wow, ooh, baby-baby ♪

♪ Dig it, meow-wow, skiddley-bop, baby ♪

♪ Scratchity-watchity, wobbity-bobbity, stickety-wickety ♪

♪ Baby, meow!

Listen here, you mangy fleabags!

Rrow... dig that kicky, kooky housecat.

Hey, Catty-O, come on in.

The alley's fine.

Leave that Squaresburg life behind

and dig the jive.

Yeah, dig the jive.Yeah, dig the jive.

I don't want to dig any jive.

I came... down here to... complain.

♪ Dig it, meow-wow, meow-meow, baby ♪

♪ Dig it, meow-wow, ooh, baby-baby... ♪

Ooh, that song.

Meow-meow... I'm digging it.

I can't help digging it.

We're just doing whatever we want to do.

Yeah..

getting our kicks.

Eating sardines right out the trash.

[ husky voice]: Yeah, no grooming, just... grooving, right?

♪ Why bother getting clean

♪ Skittley-boo-boo-boo-boo

♪ When you can stink like a sardine? ♪

♪ Stink, baby, stink!

♪ No responsibilities

♪ Shoobitty-doo-dah

♪ We're just doing

♪ what we please

♪ Please, baby, please♪

♪ Just wailing on the wall

♪ Hibbity-dit-dot-dittin-doo

♪ Grooving all night and having a ball ♪

♪ Scabootely...

Oh! Ow!

Oh, that hurt!

MR. SUNSHINE: Pipe down, you mangy cats.

Hey, this cat can really scat.

BOTH: Yeah, dig the scat cat.

Scat Cat... I like that.

It's my new name.

'Cause plain old Cat is just too lame.

[ snapping fingers]

GIRL CAT: Cooledy-cool, baby!

[ all snap and exclaim]

Oh, Cat...

[ barking]

Time to get up and work!

I'm turning over a new leaf.

Like you always say

clean-liness is next to CatDog-liness.

Oh... chill it with all the responsibilities.

Working's for squares.

I need to catch a few more Z's.

I even cleaned up my meat sculptures

like you wanted me to.

Well, that's real nice, Doggy-O

but, uh, did you know that from now on

My name is... Scat Cat.

Wow, Scat Cat, huh?

Swinging moniker.

Hee-hee...

Yep, my new alley cat friends laid it on me.

[ gasps] Scat Cat!

When did we get a tattoo?

Heh-heh, got it last night.

It matches the one on our butt.

Huh? We got a butt?

But seriously...

Ahh...

Now to dig some dessert.

Cat, you never drank like that before.

Or digged your dessert out of the trash.

Well, I do now, my cubic friend.

Cat, I think I like you better today

than I did yesterday.

Me, too.

Scoobiddleyat- dat-dat-doo!

Oh, we've been having a lot of fun today, huh, Cat?

I mean... Scat Cat.

Yeah, we are locked into a bit of a groove.

Hmm?

Must have forgot to pay the cable bill.

Ha! Who cares?

Paying bills is for squids.

It is?

Well, I'd hate to be a squid.

Maybe I'll just clean the house a little bit instead of watching TV.

Knock yourself out, baby.

DOG: Well, the house

is all clean.

Maybe tomorrow, I'll try

to tackle some of those bills.

[ yawning]: Goodnight, Scat.

Sleep tight, Doggie-O. Ahh...

[ snorting and moaning]

Give me the biscuit... just a taste...

[ snoring]

[ whimpers]

Scat Cat?

Oh, brother.

Ohh...!

[ both yell]

Scat Cat, it is two in the morning!

What are you doing?

Anything we feel like, baby.

DOG: Hey, hey!

I just spent all day cleaning this house!

No drinking on the couch!

Use a coaster!

Aah! Milk eye!

Ooh! Hairball fight!

[ hawking and spitting]

[ grunting]

Oh, no...!

My bubble gum!

Grr... get your filthy

hoodlum paws off of my meat

and get out of my house!

Like, who's this squid?

He's, like, my uptight roommate.

Just ignore him, dig?

I said out and I mean it!

[ growling]

Well, this whole country scene

is, like, dead anyway, Daddy-O.

Time to pack up the alley and hit the road.

And where do you think you're going?

Wherever the alley takes me.

So long, square.

That's it!

Listen, Jack Catouac.

The alley is off-limits and so are your hooligan friends!

You're grounded!

[ snoring]

No square mutt's gonna ground my butt.

I'm on the road.

Hey, Scatterman.

Glad to see you cut loose that square, brother.

Yeah, he was really cramping your cool.

Nobody, but nobody cramps Scat Cat's cool.

[ muttering song]

Scat Cat?

Oh, no, where did he go this time?

It's awfully stuffy in here.

I'll just get some fresh air.

Then I'll round up a search party to find Scat Cat.

I was born to be an alley cat!

Aha! Found you!

Who, like, squealed?

I, like, have my sources.

Now march our tattooed butt

home with me this instant!

You're not the boss of me, Mr. Man's Best Friend.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, rope it in, Daddy-O's.

This is no way to settle a beef.

Stanky's right.

In the alley, we decide things

with a little D.D.D.

[ gasps] That's -D!

What's that?

Double Death Drive.

[ revving engines]

If I win, I head up the alley with these crazy cool cats.

And if I win, you have to give up

your shirking hoodlum life

and come home with me.

I'm gone, Daddy-O!

[ shrieks]

Yahoo!

[ horns honk]

[ screams]

[ chuckles nervously]

Up here, anything goes!

Ohh...!

[ growling and screeching]

Whoa... ooh!

[ revving engines]

[ tires squealing]

[ zapping and yelling]

[ expl*si*n]

DOG: Whoa...!

[ phone rings]

Hello?

[ screaming...]

[ hoarsely]: I love it...

Whoa...

[ Cat laughs]

I'm gonna win!

I'm gonna, like...

Whoa...!

[ shrieking]

Wow, that Scat's like one cooly cool cat.

Ooh, he's like crazy fearless.

Do your thing, Doggy-O

before I skippety-boop-bop to that lonely alley in the sky!

Skippety-wha...?

Save me before I fall and die!

Do you promise to give up your loafing alley cat ways?

Yes! I want to be responsible again!

[ sobbing]

[ grunts]

[ boinging and yelling]

[ panting]

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Dog.

[ kissing]

You saved my life!

Mm-mm-mm... from cooly cool to fooly fool.

From fearless feline to pussycat.

What a downer, Daddy-O's.

Oh, you know we could use a cool dog like you

around the alley.

Aw, no thanks.

I'm more of a hydrant kind of guy.

ALLEY CATS: ♪ Dig it, meow-wow, meow-wow, baby... ♪

CAT: Ah, I'm glad to be back to my old self.

DOG: Yeah, and while you were having your identity crisis

I learned about all sorts of chores I never knew existed.

[ chainsaw revs]

CAT: Dog!

[ gurgling]

[ gasps]

Hey there, Fishface.

I'm Tallulah.

How'd you like to

get hooked on me?

[ howling]

As you can see, my new Talking Tallu-Lure

is a must for the serious angler.

Well, that's all for Fishing with Tallulah.

Remember, next week I'll be announcing the winner

of my true fishing adventure contest.

First prize is a week-long cruise with yours truly.

Bye now!

CAT: Oh, Tallulah!

Tallulah...

Dog, I would do anything to win that contest.

Would you climb the highest mountain?

Easily.

Eat live worms through a straw?

Slurp-slurp!

Would you put on a chicken suit and sing...

Yes, yes, yes, anything!

[ doorbell barks/meows]

Oh, no... not that flea collar salesman again.

I'll take care of this.

I told you, I'm not interested!

Now get out of here, you pest!

Aah!

T-Tallulah-lulah-lulah...

I'm so sorry, I didn't see you...

Hello, darling.

I'm looking for a Captain Cat.

Captain Cat... Oh, yes!

Captain Cat! Well, that's me, yes.

I didn't know we were in the m*llitary, Cat.

PHOTOGRAPHER: Make way, make way, photo op!

And this must be the fish you wrote about in your letter.

Oh, yes, of course.

That's him, all right.

The elusive... Sawnose the Swordfish.

[ Dog laughs]

What are you talking about, Cat?

That... [ mumbling]

And this must be your skittish little deckhand.

Oh, yes. This is my cowardly but loyal first mate Skippy.

[ mumbles]: Skippy?

All right... tell me your true fishing adventure.

And don't forget a cruise with yours truly is riding on it.

Eh-heh...

Well, that's easy.

Me and Cat, or should I say...

It was many moons ago

during my years as a professional fisherman.

Cat, when were you a...

The tiny fishing village of Cape Marina Del Coveburg

was being terrorized by a great fish!

Cat, what tiny...

Dog!

[ chuckles]

Excuse us for a moment.

[ whispers]: Listen, Dog...

[ chuckles nervously]

Dear, sweet, simple Dog...

a great storyteller doesn't just lay out the facts.

He... embellishes a little...

for dramatic effect, get it?

[ whispers]: Yeah... I get it.

He lies.

No, Dog, no, he doesn't lie.

He... embellishes.

Embellishing makes the truth more... exciting.

Oh, I get it, Cat.

Embellishing...

Right, Dog, good.

[ normal voice]: Where was I?

Oh, yes, yes, well...

The village people were in a state of chaos...

MAN: Where we gonna find somebody...

MAN : Well, there goes tourist season...

MAN : Get out here and talk to us, you coward!

Order, order! Quiet!

Now, all this arguing isn't going to do diddley-squat!

What are you going to do about that nutty fish?

He's wrecking our boats!

Yeah, he's poking holes in our fishnets!

Duh, and he popped my duck.

He popped his duck!

Settle down, settle down.

Now, who among you

will sign up to save our town

from this dreaded duck-popping denizen of the deep?

Uh... anybody thinking maybe?

CAT: I'll catch him for you.

I'll catch him and I'll k*ll him...

for tin of chub

and a side of squirrel jerky

for my faithful but simple first mate Skippy.

Aye-aye, Captain!

[ grunts]

That's me, Skippy, Captain Cat's faithful first mate.

Yes, yes, we established that. Now...

The Captain never goes anywhere without me!

Well, that's true.

Now what I was saying was...

And I said, "Together, we'll catch that fish!"

And then we'll body-slam him

and put him in a headlock, and....

Yeah, yeah...

And then...

Hey, hey, hey, Dog!

Yes, Cat?

You're getting ahead of the story.

Skippy tends to get a little overexcited.

Oh, I understand, Captain.

Please, continue.

So, I set sail on what would undoubtedly be...

a fight to the death!

We searched for days with no sign of Sawnose.

Then, finally...

Thar she... is... at!

Prepare the gear!

Get ready to come about!

DOG: Aye-aye, sir!

The great fish taunted me

in a language understood by only the heartiest seamen.

Hey, come on there, pal.

You couldn't hit the side of a tugboat!

Heh-heh... you harpoon

like a girly-girl!

Take your best sh*t, huh? Go ahead.

Let's see, I'll...

Wha... holy smokes!

I'm outta here!

I had my first hit, but my troubles were

far from over.

'Cause that's when the pirates came!

What pirates?

Uh... oh, Dog... I, I don't remember any...

Tell me about the pirates, darling.

I do love a good swashbuckler.

Oh, you do?

Well, then...

Oh, yes, of course!

The, the pirates, Dog!

Certainly, well...

these weren't just any pirates.

They were...

The vicious Pin-headed Fanny Pirates!

CAT: What?

[ squeaking, boinging...]

DOG: Suddenly, the Captain was knocked out by the boom!

And it was up to me to fight them!

En garde!

Touché!

Threeché!

Vive la me!

[ grunting and snarling]

[ balloons popping, air squealing]

They tried to mess with Skippy! Hmph!

Oh!

Oh... Skippy... I owe you my life.

Nonsense, but okay!

Did you really say that, Captain?

Well, I don't know if those were my exact words, I...

What happened next, Skippy?

Well...

Well... when my head

finally cleared and I stopped

babbling about owing Skippy my life...

I continued my search for Sawnose

while a terrible storm was fast approaching!

[ thunder crashes]

There... off the port side, Skippy!

Prepare for the second strike!

Aye-aye, sir!

Hey, hey, hey!

[ squeaking]

[ clang]

[ clunk]

[ grunt]

[ rattling]

Hmm?

[ gurgling]

Whoa...!

[ Dog gurgles]

Captain, we're retaining water!

We should turn back!

Never!

Poor dimwitted Skippy, he was terrified.

Oh, what do we do, Captain?

I am terrified!

His tiny, insignificant little brain

was simply not equipped to deal with such harrowing events!

My tiny brain is not equipped to deal with such harrowing events!

DOG: But then, the Chicken Spell of the evil Sea Witch was broken

and I was back to being the brave Skippy

I told you about earlier.

I had to think fast.

This was no time to think slow.

CAT: Ah...! [ gurgling]

TALLULAH: Oh, my!

How ingenious of you, Skippy!

Well, Captain, lucky for you

you had Skippy with you.

Ooh... oh, yeah, I was lousy with luck.

But luck would have nothing to do

with what I was about to face next!

Um, more pirates?

No!

I was about to face something

even more terrifying than Fanny Pirates.

I was about to face... the wrath of Sawnose!

Curse you, Sawnose!

[ clang]

Whoa...!

Hey, Captain!

Captain... boat trouble!

I am Captain Cat

and I willprevail!

Come, you overgrown guppy!

DOG: Luckily for Cat, I remembered to bring along

my auto-inflatable supersonic amphibious fish getaway vessel...

which, incidentally, I invented.

With me at the controls

nothing could stand in the way of capturing Sawnose, except...

Evil Mutated Manly Muscley Mussels!

Oh, my, Skippy!

Fanny Pirates, inflatable subs, Muscley Mussels...

I'm tingling! What happened next?

Well, just then...

A Mars meteor

landed in the ocean

creating a tsunamious tidal wave.

No!

Right!

It was a meteor!

And then there was a big, uh...

Seaweed Guy Man!

He was evil and... know what he did? He went...

Ah...

Uh... huh.

After that

the tidal wave washed us onto the shores

of the Lost Island of the Giant Sea Chimps!

CAT: Yes! The Giant... I remember now...

there were Sea Chimps...

chimps... that... came from the sea...

I... got that.

Skippy, please go on.

The Sea Chimps had captured Sawnose.

They said if I wanted him

I'd have to fight their whole army single-handedly

with no help from Cat-- not that I needed it.

[ zapping]

"Ici, you banana-eating sea chumps!" says I.

Ooh... ah... ah... ah...!

How manly of you, Skippy!

I've never known such true bravery.

Nah, me neither.

Oh, yeah, well, he didn't tell you

about the spaceship that came down...

and they had aliens, ooh-ee...

And I fought the aliens with my mind-controlling powers!

Right, right, right, but, but then

then they came alive again and I...

And I froze them with my x-ray g*n eyes!

Well, yeah, but then, then I...

Then I took Sawnose back to the marina.

Yeah, okay, but I...

And the townspeople threw a parade for me!

And, and they made a statue of me!

But they made me king!

[ sings fanfare]

Oh, I wear the crown wisely and well.

Oh, for goodness' sake!

We bought the stupid fish at a garage sale!

Look-- three bucks! Okay?!

We made the whole thing up.

[ sobbing]

Well, lying has no place

in a true fishing adventure!

TALLULAH: Hello, all.

I'm here with the winner of my true fishing adventure.

Say hello to the brave and loyal conqueror of the seven seas...

First Mate Skippy!

Hey, hey.

Hi, from... me.

Quiet!

You should be ashamed

for trying to steal credit

from the very dog who saved you.

[ crabs snapping claws]TALLULAH: A garage sale, indeed!

Aw, well, you know Cat.

He... has a tendency to embellish.

♪ One fine day with a woof and a purr ♪

♪ A baby was born and it caused a little stir ♪

♪ No blue buzzard, no three-eyed frog ♪

♪ Just a feline, canine, little CatDog ♪

♪ CatDog... CatDog...

♪ Alone in the world was a little CatDog ♪

♪ Out on the road or back in town ♪

♪ All kind of critters putting CatDog down ♪

♪ Got to rise above it, got to try to get along ♪

♪ Got to walk together, got to sing this song ♪

♪ CatDog... CatDog...

♪ Alone in the world was a little CatDog... ♪

♪ Alone in the world was a little CatDog. ♪