02x05 - Phestival of Life

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Run the Burbs". Aired: January 5, 2022 – present.*
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A suburban stay-at-home dad of two children whose wife Camille is an entrepreneur.
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02x05 - Phestival of Life

Post by bunniefuu »

Sorry I'm late, Candy.

It's been bananas lately.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Get out of here!

Morning, Drewbie. Ready to sell?

It's Andrew! Stop trying to

get people to sell, Orelei!

Nobody's leaving.

We're each other's best friends.

Oh, well, I'm pretty sure this

house is about to go on the market.

You are being real

insensitive right now.

You can't bring people around

without the family's permission.

Hey, Drewbie, they are family.

Francis?

Yeah, oh. You're the

neighbour, Andrew, right?

I remember you from my mom's funeral.

Your Zoom froze mid
-sob.

Yeah, that wasn't my best look.

No, don't worry about it.

It was honestly a very nice

distraction from all

the very snotty cries

that were happening.

Yeah. Yeah, actually, that's

That's the face.

Um

He okay. Okay.

This hug is over asking.

Okay.

Well, Francis, thank you so much

for coming to check on the house.

Yeah, no. Thank you for calling me,

and for paying for my ticket,

and for picking me up from the airport,

and for the shawarma wrap.

Really, Orelei?

Yeah, just give me a

couple days to figure out

if I'm gonna sell or not.

Absolutely. Catch you

on the flip, Drewbie.

I don't plan on flipping,

or letting you flip.

So, you can flip off.

Oh yeah? Flip this.

You like that?

On the ground!

I didn't get a chance to say

this at your mom's funeral,

but I am so sorry for your loss.

Yeah. Wela'lin.

Oh, uh, I'll get this.

Your mom and I were

working our way through

the menu at the Bubble Tea place.

I guess it was hard to stop.

Yeah, I did not inherit my

mother's love for tapioca.

Well, we're just over

there if you need anything.

Candy was family, so you are, too.

I'll just go.

Do you need another

hug or something, bro?

Yes, please.

Oh, okay. All right.

Babe, guess what?

Candy's kid is here.

Francis?

Oh, my God.

They're part of the DMC.

Right, your Dead Mom's Club.

Yeah, Candy was in the group.

So, Francis is like a legacy member.

Take it easy.

I don't think they're

ready for that yet.


- Plus, Candy's passed away a month ago.


- What?

You said Candy just went on a cruise.

Andrew.

Sweetie, uh, Candy passed

away while you were in Paris.

I, um

I thought you and your

dad talked about this.

We did not.

I wanted to, I just I

didn't want to ruin your trip,

and then you broke up with

Mannix and I just couldn't

What? You thought that I couldn't handle

the crushing reality of life?

Khia, I'm sorry!

Not my finest work.

You think?

Leo, my boy, it has been too long

since you spent the weekend.

A whole year, and this

time there's no dead weight.

That's no way to speak

about your sister,

but, yes, it'll be nice

to have some time together.

We'll watch movies,

play games, do the usual.

Ah! Leo!

My eye!

Nanaji, I'm so sorry!

I thought

You thought wrong.

Now you've asked for it, punk.

So weird that the lock is jammed.

Yeah, the locksmith should be here soon.

Hm.

Are you doing any shows

while you're in town?

Yeah, yeah. A big comedy

scene here in Rockridge.

Schedule is packed.

I did an open mic night once. I k*lled.

Yeah, it was adorable.

People said I should go pro.

No, it's pretty easy, you know,

if you don't mind getting

paid in drink tickets

and chicken fingies.

Ah, tempting, but I

chose family over fame.

So, um, which way are

you leaning on the house?

You're not selling, are you?

I don't know, it seems

like a big responsibility.

You know, I'm not really a

mow
-the
-lawn
-on
-Sundays type.

We don't do that. We

all mow it on Saturday.

Well, if you need anything, we're here.

I lost my mum when I was young,

so if you ever need to talk

or a shoulder to cry on.

Cry? Ugh. No. Not really my thing.

You know, to me death is

very natural, you know?

It's like she's still a part of it all.

Your mom used to say that

grieving doesn't start

until after the first big cry.

Mm.

But there's no rush.

Everyone does it in their own time.

Says the guy that took a

month to tell our daughter.

Says the band
-aid ripper.

You're just out here ripping band
-aids.

Rip, rip, rip, rip, rip.

Causing new wounds, it's too much.

Khia!

Baby girl, please forgive

me. I'm sorry, Khia!

He can't stand when our

daughter is mad at him.


- Mm.


- You hungry?

I could whip up one of your mom's faves.

Yeah, never say no to free food.

Then don't.

Relax. Won't be long.

That was intense.

Yes, and the fun is only beginning.

After I catch my breath.

Hello!

Oh, I thought this was

a you and me weekend.

Oh, it is. You and me and my girlfriend.

Lady partner.

Mm.

Barb.

I guess that's okay.

I just wanted this weekend to be fun.

Oh, it will be fun.

I have an itinerary and everything.

First thing, let's clean this room up!

Hurray! Clean
-up party!

Exactly.

I know I was wrong.

I should have told you.

Yeah, you totally lied to me.

I was actually waiting for her

to send me a postcard

like she always did.

I panicked. I thought I was

saving you from the pain,

but I was just postponing it.

How many times have you lied to

make things easier on yourself?

That was the only time.

Nah, that's a lie, but I'm a parent.

I've been weaning you

off lies your whole life.


- That's my job.


- No more lying.

Khia.

Then I can never forgive you. Ever.

Ever? Ever
-ever?

Ever
-ever?

Ever
-ever.

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock!

Come in!

Oh, hello, Camille. I just came

over for no reason whatsoever.

Oh, you have company. Wild.

Hi, I'm Sebastian.

You must be Francis.

Uh
-huh.

Okay, cards on the table.

I invited him over.

Sebastian, your mom, and

I were in kind of a group.

DMC. Deceased Mothers Corporation.

Formally.

Dead Moms Club, and

it's not a formal thing.

It's more of a support system.

But, we have shirts.

Oh?

Check it out.


- Oh.


- Oh. Oops.

That's

There's a bunch tangled here, but, uh


- He'll find it.


- Oh, this is the one.

Oh, it's a Run DMC shirt

with the "Run" blacked out.

Yeah.

I thought maybe you

needed to talk about Candy.

I know everything seems okay,

but I've been there, I've lived it.

So, we're here.

No pressure though.

Fish is almost ready.

Usually I'm totally a

free nippler, no big deal,

but that was an accident,

I'm a bit embarrassed.

I want you to know that

we are here for you.

You know, usually I save the

nipple action for after dessert.

Mm.

It's quite intriguing.

Bavarian peasants created the waltz.

Why did we have to watch that?

I thought you were into dance docs.

Actually, what I said, my love,

is that Leo wants to be a dance doctor.

Oh!

Well, that's just ludicrous

for countless reasons.

You're ludicrous for countless reasons.

Okay, that is enough.

You are in a time
-out.

Pick a corner.

Easy, colonizer.

Uh, Leo, perhaps you can

give us a few minutes.

Grab us some popcorn.

What was that about?

Young people need boundaries, Ramesh.

Yes, but not from grandparents.

When it's your own child, absolutely.

Discipline and order is the way.

But our relationship thrives

on recklessness and fun.

Recklessness and fun? Okay.

Sudoku with a pen.

One time you heard the ice cream truck,

but it was too far

away and my feet hurt,

so I told you that whenever

the truck plays that song

it means they're sold out.

Yeah, I figured that one out on my own.

I told kids at school

and they laughed at me.

Oh, sorry.

You know, I kind of like coming clean.

I feel lighter.

Well, I'm glad you feel better.

Can we go see Francis now?

Of course.

Mm
-mm
-mm.

Francis, I want to

introduce you to Khia.

Oh, the artsy one.


- Yeah.


- Hi.


- It's really nice to meet you.


- Nice to meet you, too.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Thank you.

I was just admitting to a

few hundred lies I told Khia.

She knows how the bed broke.

This is new for you, Andrew.

Usually you're too afraid to

have those kind of conversations.

I mean, is afraid the right

Oh, it's definitely fear.

Crippling, unwavering fear.

And you passed it on to your daughter.

Me? All I do is have hard conversations.

Didn't you just ghost your

ex and then fly halfway across

the world so you wouldn't

have to break up with her.

Oh, sh

Dang it.

Ah!

Boom! Take that, old man!

Well struck, Leo.

Okay.

What are you doing?

Nana Ji and I are playing.


- Ramesh and I are on the same team.


- Be nice, Leo.

Ah!

Boom! I win.

What the hell? Are you a carrom hustler?

Nope. Crokinole camp champ 1989 to 1995.

Still got it!

Uh.

Leo.

What's going on?

Why are you being so disagreeable?

Barb's ruining our weekend.

I must ask that you show her some

respect. She's part of my life.

She's no Naniji.

You never even knew her.

I've heard good things.

Naniji passed on a long time ago,

and I've moved on.

You don't agree?

Oh, I didn't mean to, um

You two should finish this conversation.

Leo, maybe you could

I'll refill the popcorn. Got it.

You don't think I'm over Aarti?

Look around.

This is a very dead wife centred space.

Ah. Yes, this is why you

never spend the night.

Mm.

It's fine.

This is not the time.

I'm going to vamoose.

No, you don't have to go.

Barb? Leaving so soon?

Bye, Leo.

That's going to be a conversation.

She was complaining she hadn't seen me,

and I kept saying I

was going to come visit,

and then one night I'm

doing a show in Winnipeg,

and guess whose laugh I hear?

Santa!

Mom. My mom was in the front row.

She'd never let anything

get in the way of seeing me.

Aww.

We always take it for granted, don't we?

Mm
-hm.

Candy saw my set, too. Loved it.

I did a bit about Capri pants.

I miss her. She was the best.

Yeah, this must be hard on

you, too, finding out today.

How you holding up?

Getting better.

I just wish I got to say goodbye.

Wait, what if we did a ceremony?

For us, everyone on the block.

Yeah! That's a great idea.

Especially with you here.

We could have it on the island tomorrow.

We could set up the

microphone so anyone who wants

could say a few words.

You could do a set.

I mean, we could name

the island after her.

Candy island! I love

it! I'll paint a tribute.

I will make some appies.

Oh, can you make those dough pockets

with the peas and potatoes?

Samosas?

Yes, please.

We got you. Let it out.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

I never do this, and especially

not in front of strangers.

Oh, we're not strangers.

Not anymore.

I can't go in that house.

She's lived here for 10 years.

How is this the first time I'm visiting?

I promise you she understood.

You were following your dreams.

When she got back from Winnipeg,

she couldn't stop talking about you.

I haven't done a set since she d*ed.

I can't go on stage. It

just doesn't feel right.

And I thought that this trip would help,

but that house is just a

three
-bedroom reminder that


- I'm a bad kid.


- I get that.

Everything in my dad's

house reminds me of my mom.

Yeah? How long ago did she die?

20 years ago.

20 years? 20.

Oh, I can never go in that house.

I have to sell it.

No!

Obviously, it's your choice.

Can I help you find a new realtor?

M
-Maybe? Yeah. I just

Right now I just I need a hotel.

I can drive you.

There's a really good one nearby.

It's got the warmest lobby.

Okay. Okay.

Camille, Andrew, thank

you for the hospitality.

I hope you're not offended

if I can't come tomorrow.

Dad, do you think what

mom said about us is true?

Huh?

Being afraid of hard conversations.

What? No! That's wild.

Yes, 100%.

Your ong noi and ba

noi, never talked about

difficult things, like, ever.

They just kind of hoped

that me and auntie Carol

would move on and forget.

I kind of fall into that sometimes.

Same.

Ready?

Yeah.

Three, two, one.

Wow.

Oh, Khia.

It's incredible.

When Candy found out

that I was into art,

she was so supportive.

Well, after making fun of me, of course.

Classic Candy. She's the best.

Can I share something with you?

Of course.

When I was younger,

everything was so easy.

The world was small, but

it was bright, you know?

I get that.

Now, everything's bigger but darker.

And sometimes I just feel helpless.

Climate change, w*r, tax

I am paying taxes now!

I know. It's madness.

It's just a lot.

I'm proud of you for opening up.

And you know you can always talk to

me and your mom about anything, right?

Yeah. Sure. Whatever.

You can always just talk

to me, too, you know?

Yeah. Sure.

Whatever.

Spin move!

Have you been in the house yet?

No, I'm selling.

Gonna let someone else deal with it.

Okay, but I'm not sure that'll make

it easier for you to sleep at night.

Mm, are you about to dead mom club me?


- Yes.


- Mm.

When my mom d*ed,

I tried everything to

not think about her,

but actually what

helped was the opposite.

By embracing the memories,

the grief got easier to handle.

Denial and avoidance

to the dark side leads.

Yoda impressions do you should not.

Yeah, sorry again, but

I think I'm going to need

a little more time with the place.

Your call, but the market's

due to dip any day now.


- Just saying.


- Mm.

You gonna stay for the ceremony?

Oh, absolutely not. I

don't do sad feelings.

Bye
-bye.

Orelei, could I bend

your ear for a moment?

Hey, anything for a

prospective client, Ramesh.

How's the house? You know

it's a seller's market, right?

Andrew: Welcome! Welcome everyone!

Thank you so much for coming today.

A lot of us never got

to say goodbye to Candy.

So, hopefully today

brings a little closure.

The mic is open, so don't be shy.

Thank you, Andrew.

Um, it's really cool to see

how many of you loved my mom

as much as I did, and as much as I do.

And I know that, uh, you

know, she's looking right now

and she's laughing.

And, uh, again, I'm

not just saying that,

'cause, you know, she loved to laugh.

Um, I actually think

she's laughing at me.

Uh, because for years, you know,

she told me to pick up my toys

and pick up my books and clean my room,

and then she went and left

me a gigantic clutter box.

There are so many shoes.

So many shoes in that house,

and it baffles me because, I mean,

mom, you only had two feet.

I didn't open up the garage yet.

God knows there's a

whole Payless in there.

I think I'm going to hang out

with my dad at his place more.

I think he'd love that.

One of my feet actually

is the same size as hers.

The other one of my feet

I got from my dad, so.

I just wish we had the same size feet.

To what do I owe the pleasure?

No reason.

Oh, oh, oh, oh. Okay.

We usually leave a

little space for Candy.

Oh, well, it's all right.

I'm her kid. I'm sitting on her lap.

Oh.

Missin' my day one, Candy ♪

Candy ♪

Pouring a sip for you ♪

Mm. Kesalul giju.

I'm really glad you're staying.

Partly 'cause you're cool,

but mostly because that devil

realtor won't get a penny off you.

Yeah, fair. Fair.

Did I tell you guys I set

up a few dates in the city?


- Oh, that's amazing.


- Oh!

Yeah.

Let me know if you need

someone to open for you.

Yeah, will do. You know a good comedian?

Hah, funny.

What's the deal with clock radios?

No.

Yeah, like is it a clock or a radio?

That's what I said.


- I know.


- It's a good bit.

Yeah, it's a good bit.
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