02x12 - Asking Someone Out/Recycling

[bunniefuu]

Ned: in a middle school full of bullies,

Insane teachers,

And gross school lunches,

Ned bigby--that's me--

And my two best friends try to do the impossible:

Create a guide that will help you survive school.

Man: ♪ turn it up

♪ Looking out

♪ I'll survive with no doubt ♪

♪ Never fear

♪ Bring it on

♪ Breaking down what's in my way ♪

♪ And I'm

♪ Finding my place in this world ♪

♪ And I'm...

Ned: "ned's declassified school survival guide."

Your results may vary.

Ned: asking someone out: it's barfier than a stomach virus

And causes more sweat than gym class.

Um, would you...

Go to the movies with me?

[Buzz]

So if you want to ask someone out,

Check out these tips.

You're gonna get nervous, so practice what you're

Gonna say.

Without it...

Will you go out--

You could freeze.

And pick the right spot to ask someone out:

Cafeteria, hallway,

Outside by some flowers, good.

I would so enjoy your company

At the picture show this evening.

Sure!

Gym class, bad.

And remember, you can't ask someone out

If they're going out with someone already.

That's it, billy. It's over.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Yeah!

Captioning made possible by u.s. Department of education

And nickelodeon

Ok, let's go over this one more time.

Hey, suzie, ned smells good, and you guys should

Go to the movies.

How about tonight?

Good. Now, move.

Another approach to asking someone out is getting

An ambassador to find out if the potential date would

Like to date you.

Hey, suzie, ned smells good and [gasp]

Is that a text message phone?

Can I see?

Uh...

Cookie: built-in blue tooth, mp, gigabyte memory.

It's like a laptop in your pocket.

Yeah, you said something about ned.

Ned? Ned who?

But if you do go with an ambassador, make sure

You pick a good one.

Please don't ask me to be your ambassador.

I'm tired of waiting for seth to ask me out,

So I have to focus all my attention

On asking him out.

Wish me luck.

Hey, seth.

I was wondering, do you want to go out sometime?

Sure, jennifer. That sounds great.

Yeah, I thought that would be fun.

Of course it will be fun and full of fresh air.

And here we are, out.

No, no, no. What I meant was--

[Bell rings]

Well, it was nice going out with you, jennifer.

Smooth-talking cyber student,

I want you to help me get date.

With who?

With super-handsome cleaning man.

I'm not sure you're gordy's type.

I'm not sure you're anyone's type.

Does he like boots?

Heh?

Boots?

Give me some time and I'll find out what he likes.

Great. We find out now.

Got it? Go.

Hi, suzie. You like movies, right?

Ned likes movies, too.

Anyways, I was wondering if you're interested in seeing

A movie or a flick with-- hey, flick is a funny word.

I mean, why would anyone see a flick?

I mean, you flick a booger.

Who wants to see that unless you're into that stuff.

I knew I was back in the second grade.

I used to flick boogers, but you never really know

What you wanted because like if you forgot your

Lunch, you could just eat them all the time.

You never really know what a flick means anymore

Because...

[Rambling rapidly]

Hey, gordy, I'm taking a pants poll

And asking people like you what they look for

In a potential date.

Oh. Well, I'd say I look for a sense of style,

A lady that likes to cook very good.

Oh, and a good dancer 'cause I love dancing.

What are you doing?

Playing hallway golf.

I can break the course record if I can get this

Into sweeney's classroom in one.

But the door's closed.

That's why I'm using this.

Ooh, and a woman that can sing absolutely

Melts my heart.

[Glass smashes]

Birdie!

Run.

A new course record!

[Printer running]

Did he say he likes boots?

[Ding]

I think we'll lose the boots and go with heels.

Great.

What are heels?

Hey, suzie.

Do you think you'd want to go to the movies with ned?

Uh-huh, yeah.

Well, then, how about tonight?

Sounds great.

Hey, suzie, about tonight, I was thinking--

Hold on. One second. Ned's here.

Hey. Cookie loaned me this earpiece

So I could talk on the phone in class.

Were you gonna ask me something.

Yes. Would you like to--

[Thud]

Ok, I'm back.

[Bell rings]

They used to call movies "talkies" when sound was introduced to film

And before that, in the movieola

And before that, the cavemen used to watch big stones

For hours and hours upon hours.

Things went bad with seth.

Was it crush your heart with a spike bad

Or doo doos in the pants bad?

It was more like doo doos.

Hey, could you be my ambassador, please?

What? You won't be my ambassador,

But you want me to be yours?

Yeah, that's right. Now, go.

Hey, seth.

Moze would like a date.

Then tell her she's got one.

Aren't dates great?

They're like buff raisins.

No. Moze would like to go out.

We already went out and had a great time.

No.

Would you like to go out...

To a movie...

Tonight?

Sure, ned.

Just as friends.

I like you, ned, but not in that way.

So do I have a date with seth?

No.

But I do.

♪ Your eyes to me have such strength and daring ♪

♪ I homemade you some cold borscht and herring ♪

♪ Notice how I wear a dress, not pants ♪

♪ And now handsome cleaning man, together we dance ♪

[Thud]

I'm ok!

Maybe the heels were a bad idea.

That's it, seth. We're through.

I've been trying to ask you out all day,

And now you're going out with ned?

How can we be through if we never started?

Bu--

I guess we can't.

If you want to break up with me,

You have to go on a date with me first.

Right.

Will you go to the movies with me?

If you have a really bad time, you can dump me

And I'll be out of your life for good.

Yeah, I'll go with you.

I turned your classroom into a french bistro.

It's the perfect romantic setting to get your man.

And with my boots and my new broken leg,

There is no way handsome cleaning man can say no.

Is this your card? Nope.

This is your card. Yeah.

Really? No.

Ah.

You're not supposed to be here.

You're ruining my "get gordy to go on a date

With xavier" plan.

Date plan? What's going on?

Ah, what's the point?

I made new student get me date

With handsome cleaning man.

Gordy: really?

You forced cookie to do all of this

Just to see if I'd go on a date with you?

Call me old fashioned.

Well, sure, I'll go.

You will? You will?

Yeah. I like the boots.

[Knuckles crushing]

Ok, too tight. Too tight.

Ok, that's good.

It worked.

I'm a love genius too.

Well, look at this place.

Who wouldn't say yes to a date in here?

In fact, I'll need some ambassadors.

Suzie, I was looking for you.

Isn't that a funny word, you can look and you can see,

So I could just say I was seeing for you.

Why can't you just choose whatever one you want?

Hey, suzie, I was just thinking...

Hey, suzie, seth and I

Are going to the movies on saturday.

Yeah. Maybe we can double date.

Whoa! Off we go!

Beverage?

Was that thing that just happened to me

One of your crazy plans?

No. But while you're here,

There's something I've been wanting to ask you all day.

Yes, ned, what is it?

Will you go to the movies with me?

No.

Yes!

Yes!

Yes, yes, yes!

Woo-hoo, yeah...

She said no, didn't she?

Better luck next time. Nice try, though.

Okey-dokey.

One last tip.

Be prepared and stay positive because not every time

You ask someone out they're gonna say yes.

I'm sorry, but I just broke up with billy

And I kind of don't want a boyfriend right now.

No problem. I totally understand.

But we shouldn't let all this food go to waste, should we?

Yeah, we should. Yeah, we should.

Asking someone out: it's not easy.

But if you get a "no," it will stink.

But give it time and your heart will recover

And you will survive.

So after all that, I'm dateless.

Not exactly.

Ned, I'll pick you up around : tonight.

We'll catch a flick and get a corn dog or something.

I get him tomorrow night.

Oh.

♪ Why'd you make it so complicated? ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, oh

[Brakes screech]

Brakes out on your bike again?

I don't see it as a bike.

I see it as a screaming metal death trap.

Well, betsy's still running strong.

I just k*lled betsy.

I need a new bike.

We all do, but it's not like someone's

Handing out free bikes around here.

Attention, students.

Attention, students!

Today begins our recycling awareness program.

Aww, man. Aww, man.

And to kick things off, the student who collects

The most recyclables by the end of the week

Will win...this.

Oh, yeah!

Here's a list of the items we want to collect

And reuse.

So you can all get started right away.

Recycling isn't about winning an awesome

Much-needed mountain bike.

It's about helping the environment.

I agree.

Totally.

Who cares about a bike?

Excuse me.

Sure is an awful lot of newspapers for somebody

Who doesn't care about winning a mountain bike.

Said the cyborg who's arms were filled

With plastic milk bottles.

I'm doing it for a greener tomorrow.

Me, too.

Oh, please. We all want that mountain bike.

Admit it.

Us and every kid in the school.

Recycle!

Aaah! Aaah!

This is gonna be tougher than I thought.

But that bike will be mine.

Recycling is smart and it can even be fun.

So here are some tips to get you started.

Instead of throwing out that trash,

Use it to make fun arts and crafts.

And use paper as much as possible.

The backs of fliers and tests

Make great scratch pads.

And if your school doesn't have a recycling program,

Talk to your principal about starting one.

It's good for you, me, everyone.

[Squeaking]

Even a weasel.

Hey, I was still drinking that.

Trying to save the world here.

Winning that bike is in the bag.

Somebody stole my bag of recyclables...again.

That's why I tied my bottles together.

They'll have to pry these recyclables from my cold,

Dead environmentally friendly fingers.

Well, you're all wasting your time

Because I'll be the one riding that bike home

Come friday.

I suppose you have some super secret source

Of recyclables that's just gonna fall from the sky.

Technically, I'm not allowed to let students

Have access to the master keys.

I have no idea why I just said that.

Carry on, man.

Another big recycling tip is...

The guide. It was right here.

Maybe I dropped it in these bags.

Recycle!

Aaah! Aaah!

The guide--it's gone.

[Whispers] simon.

That's incredible.

It's pure. It's honest.

It's...

It's fearless.

It's a pile of bottles.

"A pile of bottles."

A daring title that says that it is what it is.

A deconstructionist thrill ride with...

A splash of dada.

You need to get out more.

You know, I have a friend who's an art dealer.

How would you feel about me inviting him by

To have a look at this?

But I need this to win the bike.

Simon, if you sell this piece,

You'll have enough money to buy bicycles.

If I were you, I'd think about making some more.

Oh!

[Printer running]

[Ding]

I lost the guide.

And I am an artiste who turns junk into

Artistic masterpieces.

I lost the guide!

I heard you.

But don't worry.

We'll find the guide because I put

A gps tracking device in it.

You put a tracking device in the guide?

Yep. I put them everywhere.

They help me keep track of important stuff,

Like sweeney will be here in , , .

Gentlemen.

[Gasps]

The insane recycle posse...there.

Recycle!

Aaah! Aaah!

And according to this, the guide's

In the girls room.

Of course.

I looked everywhere. The guide's not in there.

But I found cans!

Go back and look harder. It's in there. See?

It's not in there and if you don't believe me,

Why don't you dress up as a girl and go look for yourself?

I was being sarcastic.

I've got to get the guide, and according to this,

It's still in there.

You look...pretty.

I don't know how you girls wear these things,

But the skirt's kind of comfortable.

Ok, going in.

The guide's moving.

I've got to follow that guide.

Are you guys stealing my stuff?

This "stealing" is an ugly word.

We think of it as recycling recycled recyclables.

Yeah.

Later.

I need more cans.

There must be a gazillion cans in there.

I'm not a teacher. I can't just walk in.

[Burp]

Or can i?

I've got to stop talking to myself.

[Beeping]

Gordy!

Hey, what's--oh!

I don't know how batman sleeps like that.

I lost the guide and it's somewhere in here.

Let's start digging!

What are you trying to say with this piece?

Nein! Don't tell me.

The milk bottles represent lost innocence, ja.

Why not?

Yes. I positively can fetch for it.

Ah, touching.

$.? I can make more than that

On the return deposits alone.

[Laughs]

$,.

I have just the buyer.

She's rich and she likes fluffy dogs.

I bring her friday. Yes.

We've looked everywhere. The guide is not in here.

This thing is totally bogus.

[Metallic thumping]

Or maybe...

Ooh!

Wait. It's that way.

You sure?

Yeah. Definitely.

I'll take them all.

Will you take a check?

Sweeney, over p.a.: Attention, students.

This is the last day of recycling and the bike

Will be given out at :.

I think it's wonderful when the youth of today

Loves to--

Recycle!

Aaah! Aaah!

Please don't touch the--

Go! Go!

What about this piece?

I'll give you for it.

[Sniffs]

Them's the breaks, kid.

Mr. Cook.

Zero.

It's a giant nest.

And there's the guide.

Mr. Loomer...and friends.

Pounds.

You are now in the lead for the bike.

Yeah!

You!

You took the guide.

I'm taking you out, weasel.

Who cares? I found the guide.

Miss mosely.

Pounds.

We have a winner.

Unless there's anyone else who hasn't weighed in yet.

[Rumbling]

[Bell dings] pounds!

And the winner is...the weasel!

[Applause]

Yeah, that figures.

Well, this story's wrapping up quite nicely.

Come on!

What's a weasel gonna do with a mountain bike?