01x45 - Driving Miss Crazy

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Total DramaRama". Aired: September 1, 2018 –
April 15, 2023
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise

Series re-introduces some of the original "Total Drama" characters in an alternate universe where they are aged down from teenagers to toddlers, being taken care of by Chef Hatchet.
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01x45 - Driving Miss Crazy

Post by bunniefuu »

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Beth: Hey guys!

Look what I taught my bees to do!

(Blows whistle) Ta-da!

- Wow!

- Amazing!

(Blows whistle)

(Blows whistle)

- That is the best thing I've ever seen!

- No! Come back!

(Engine roars)

- (Coughs)

- Now, that is the best thing I've ever seen!

- (Coughing) Wait, what?

That's what you said about my bees!

- Bees are boring. This thing has flames!

Noah: And a skull!

(in unison) It's so amazing!

(Engine revs)

- What's that?

I couldn't hear you over my awesome new battery powered

. horsepower fire rider.

(Revs engine) (All cheer)

- You want fire? I can do fire!

(Gulps)

- You're right, coin. Much safer in her stomach.

(Splatters)

(Grunts, flames whoosh)

- (Screams)

- I don't think farts are supposed to work that way.

And besides, Duncan's bike is still cooler.

- I don't like being upstaged by boys.

They make me mad. (Loud fart, fire whooshes)

Oops.

(Revs engine)

- Ah, listen to that engine hum.

- Oh ya, bees hum! Listen!

Uh-oh.

(All gasp)

- Aaahhhh!!!

- That's a neat trick, Beth,

but I still like the bike better.

Beth: It's not a trick!

- Ooooh! I wanna touch it!

(Alarm wails) Ow!

- Hands off my ride!

- What can it do? - What can't it do?

Hey Noah, you're gonna wanna get your phone out for this.

(Engine revs, tires squeal)

- Yay! Mud is fun!

(Splat)

- I'm a mud pie!

(Happy chirp, engine roars)

Ahhh!

- Hm. Hm. Hmm!

- Watch this! (Revs engine)

- He's going to jump the picnic table!

- He'll never make it! - (Gasps)

(Engine roars)

- Pretty birdie!

Argh. That birdie had wheels!

- I got it all on video! - Woohoo!

- It was pretty awesome.

Jude: Nice wheels, dude.

We still on to race at the park at free play time?

- If you think you can handle my k*ller new ride.

Jude: Sweeeeeeeet!

Be there or be square, bruh!

- (Chanting) Race! Race! Race!

- Fight! Fight! Fight!

- I-I-I mean race, race, race!

- Well, I'll need a snack Before free play time.

Sounds good, dude!

- Jude's gonna eat our dust, bike-y!

(Gasp) Oh, no!

Bike-y!

- Whoooa. This is really high,

I'm sorry, guys.

Aaaahhhh!

I hope I land on something soft!

Oof! Ahh!

Wow, those bees were really ticked off!

Oh no. Duncan!

Did I hurt your bike?

- Yes. Yes, you did.

(Fake crying) My poor bike!

- Cheeeef! I accidentally crashed into Duncan's bike.

Can you fix it?

- Oooh! Heh heh, I guess I can try.

- Yeah. And I think Beth should have to be my bike

and pull me around in that wagon until you do.

- (Snorts) Yeah right, Duncan!

- Sounds fair to me! - What?!

- Okay, even I didn't think that would work.

- Duncan, you actually expect me to pull you around?

- Sshhhhhh. . horsepower fire riders don't talk.

Though my bike did have an awesome sound system.

I need driving music.

- Ugh, fine.

Buzzabuzzabuzzabuzza- buzzabuzzabuzzabuzza...

- Not that weird stuff. Beatbox!

- Bum-psshh-badumbum-pshhh.

Bum-psshh-badumbum-pshhh.

- You know, I'm a little hungry.

My bike also had a sandwich press!

- Ha! No way.

- Chef said you're supposed to be my new bike,

and I say my bike made sandwiches!

(Whip cracks) - Ugh. Fine.

Freshly squished!

- It's not hot!

- He wants a hot sandwich? Okay.

(Gulps, big fart)

- Uh, on second thought, pass...

but speaking of flames,

this wagon could use some.

- Urgh.

There. Done. Flames!

- Nice! And while we're at it...

my bike had a skull hood ornament.

- (Sighs)

This is humiliating!

- Ah! Beth's skull is on the outside!

(Crash)

Language audio lesson: Ich habe keine katzen.

I have no cats.

- Ich habe keine katzen. I have no cats.

- Um, Chef? How's it going?

(Gasps)

Oh no! The bike is even more broken than before!

So it is...

But! I'll have it fixed as soon as I figure out

what a schlussel is.

Do you think this is a schlussel?

- No.

- Why do these instructions have to be in German?

Language audio lesson: Ich habe versehentlich

eine schnecke eingeatmet.

I accidentally inhaled a snail.

- (Groans)

- Huh. Now that my bladder's empty,

I gotta fill it back up again.

Take me to the slushie store!

- Are you crazy?!

How do you expect me to get past the fence?

- I don't know. Use your head.

I can't believe you did that!

- You told me to!

- I didn't think you'd actually do it!

You might be a better bike than my old one.

- (Frustrated groan)

- Here ya go. Fill your bladder.

- The corner store? No way.

I only slurp the finest slushies from the sugar shack.

It's thattaway.

- (Gasps)

Awwwww!

(Panting)

- Could you go a little faster? I'm parched back here!

Hyaaa! (Cracks whip) Mush! Mush!

(Pants, thuds)

- (Whistles)

(Slurps) Ahhh.

Ha ha ha! You parked in a no parking zone.

I'm not paying those!

- What?! Oh, man.

At least the way back is downhill.

- Aaah! Oh no!

Aaahhh! Ahhh!

Ahhhhhhhhhh!

- Whoooooohooooo!

Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Aghhh!

- Soooo awesome!

- Can I have a sip?

- (Slurps)

Sure. You've earned it.

- (Slurps)

It's empty!

Sorry, I was really thirsty.

- Now you better rest up.

If Chef hasn't fixed my fire rider,

you've got a huge race to win against Jude!

(Whistles)

- (Angry groan)

- Why have you been letting Duncan

order you around all day?

- Because I broke his bike.

- No, you didn't. Look.

- Yeeeahhhh!

- (Furious groan)

Oh, it's payback time.

Grrr.

Noah, will you help me with something?

- If it involves messing with Duncan,

I think I can make the time.

- Wo - ist - die - toilette!

- Guess what, Chef? Noah speaks German!

- Really?

Noah, you are an angel sent from above.

- Eh, sure! Whatever you say.

I'll just need this schlussel

and I'll have it fixed in no time.

- Oh, sweet liederhosen. Thank you.

One more turn of this screw aaaaannd...

the remote override module is good to go.

- Oh, my revenge is going to be so sweet!

(Evil chuckles)

Duncan: Bike-y!!!

You're back and lookin' fine!

What were you two laughing at?

- Aaahh. Nothing.

Good luck in the race.

- Thanks, but I don't need luck,

'cuz I've got bike-y!

- Okay, gentlemen!

First one to cross the finish wins.

Ready?

- I've never been readier. (Revving)

- Good to go, bro.

- Go!!! (Horn sounds)

(Tires squeal)

- (Cheering) Yay!

- Hm. Think Duncan feels like a trip

to a dangerous animal reserve?

- Um, yaaa!!!

- Whoa! What's happening?

Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhhh!

Aaahhh!

No! Not the grizzly bear cave!

Aaahhhhhhh! (Loud crash)

Oh! Porridge! - (Bear roars)

- Ow! Too hot! This porridge is too hot!

- Clown training academy? - Hm.

- Ow! Stop it!

No, not the hair!

Gah! Later, bozos!

(Splat) - Oof!

(Laughing)

- I've got a good one! Anvil factory!

- Yes!

Duncan: Ahhhh! Why is this even a thing?

And why are they all hanging from the ceiling?

Owwwww!

Whoa!

What? Wait!

You mean I'm actually gonna win this thing after all?

I never broke your bike!

You lied!

(Beeps) (Fizzles)

- Noooooooo!

(Landing thud, fire crackles)

Now it's broken.

(Skateboard rasps)

- Yeah! - Jude is the winner!

All: Yay!

- Say, "sweet"!

- Sweet!

Duncan: Ahhhh!

You did this! - Yup.

Mess with the bee, you get stung!

Chef: Gooten arbend, kindren!

I've learned German!

So I can finally fix the bike! - Great.

(Whistles)

'Cause it's gonna need a lot of work.

Chef: Oh, schlussel.
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