03x03 - Popularity/Stress

[bunniefuu]

Ned bigby: in a middle school full of bullies...

Insane teachers...

[All screaming]

And gross school lunches...

Ned bigby-- that's me--

And my best friends

Try to do the impossible--

Create a guide that will help

You survive school.

[Bell rings]

♪ Joining up, looking out

♪ I'll survive, ain't no doubt ♪

♪ Never fear, bring it on ♪

♪ Breaking down what's in my way ♪

♪ Hanging out ♪

♪ Finding my place

♪ In this world ♪

♪ Hanging out

Ned: "ned's declassified school survival guide."

Your results may vary.

[Bell rings]



I'm the rd most popular kid in school!

What's with all the papers?

Somebody posted a popularity list

On the school's website.

Ranks everyone from to...

Polk's top .

♪ Movin' up

♪ Take me to the top

It's an ingenious formula based on q-ratings,

Athleticism,

Facial symmetry, and more.

Popularity rankings?

That's ridiculous.

Totally.

What number am i?

!

This thing is a joke.

What number is suzie?

.

[Gasps]

[Laughing]

Oh, this is bad.

Because?

Because...

Popular people only date popular people.

It's a tragic fact

Of modern middle school romance.

And yet you call yourselves men.

You're right.

I'm just gonna walk over there

And ask suzie out.

I mean, it's not like the top

Have an invisible force field around them.

You guys,

It's just a stupid list.

Who cares how popular you are?

You're number .

Get out! I'm popular?

Awesome!

Now you can penetrate the force field,

Pull suzie out, bring her over here,

And I can ask her out before any top ers do.

No way.

You guys are acting like dorks.

Eww, what's that all over your hands?

Uh!

Hey!

♪ Take me to the top

♪ Do it now!

Huh.

That couldn't have not worked any better.

That is it.

I'm gonna find the person behind this list,

And expose it as fraud.

Right!

Because a popularity list is an outrage.

No, because I'm ranked th.

I am way more popular than that!

What do you see in suzie, anyway?

There are much prettier

And more popular girls out there.

I heard an updated list comes out every monday.

And since I'm number ,

Do what I say, and you, too, could cr*ck the top .

But why would you help me?

Because you helped me once.

Remember?

Missy, you dropped your pencil.

Thanks.

Ok...

Now popular kids always laugh.

Now scoot closer and laugh.

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

♪ Movin' up

♪ Take me to the top

So what's it like being in the top ?

It must rock--like a nonstop party

Packed with beautiful people.

Well, they laugh a lot.

And they are all good-looking.

Which is why I should be in the top !

I mean, I'm gorgeous!

You are?

Have you figured out who made the stupid list, anyway?

Well...

The lister would have to be brilliant

At math and statistics.

And considering the size of the job,

Be pretty darn tired.

Hey, albert!

You dropped your advanced statistics book.

Albert: thanks, cookie.

Man, I'm pretty darn tired.

See ya.

Cookie!

Albert wormenheimer is--

♪ Take me to the top

♪ Do it, now!

Ok. If you want to be popular,

We need to work on your look--

Something bold that says,

"Notice me!"

Um...makeup is for girls.

And rock stars.

And guys who are so in touch with their manliness,

They're not afraid to wear it.

Ok.

There's suzie, go get her.

Talk cool, popular kids always talk cool.

Hey, su-uzie.

Uh, hi, ned.

I, um, I gotta go...now.

Bye.

That went great!

Oh, popular kids never look in the mirror.

It's vain.

Hey, guys!

What's up?

You're talking to us?

But--you're really popular now.

Please, it's just a lame list.

If it was a lame list,

Then we'd be in the top ,

And not the low seventies.

Ah, I remember her in the second grade

When she was kinda ugly.

You guys are popular, too!

Just in the band,

And not the laughing vortex.

You thought I was ugly?

We kinda all-- you had bad teeth.

Trust me.

I'm not gonna get sucked in to this popularity thing.

♪ Movin' up

♪ Take me to the top

♪ Do it, now!

♪ Give me a sign

♪ Do it, now!

Now...

With an email trail through the servers,

The user name of the person who created

This list is--

A. Worminator!

I'm lookin' for an a. Worminator.

Let me tell ya,

He's a wily one.

Stop it right there, albert wormenheimer!

You dropped your hat.

Ok, you figured it out!

I'm a. Worminator!

You are?

I mean, ah-ha!

But you can't tell.

If it gets out that I made the list,

Everyone will bug me to move them up!

You have my word.

But...

I am gorgeous.

People are noticing me!

Of course.

Now, another way to be popular,

Is to do something wild and rebellious.

I'm thinking...

Body jewelry!

And I'm thinking, no way.

Body jewelry is totally french hip.

And...

Suzie told me yesterday how much she loves it!

Does it hurt?

No.

[Poke]

[Ned yells]

[Laughing]

♪ Take me to the top

♪ Do it, now!

Hey--i saw a t.v. Show last night.

And it was good.

Wow!

Girl: that's so cool!

That is so cool!

So cool, dude!

Girl: that's amazing!

[Plays horn]

Oh! I've been practicing.

Hey-- what's with ned?

He's spending a lot of time with missy.

And he's different.

What? No way.

That's a new one.

[Mumbling] so, guys, what do you think?

I think... I gotta go.

Suzie!

Oh--oh!my hair!

Your hair is stuck in my nose ring!

[Yelling]

Your hair is--

Ah--ah!

Ah! Ah!

Ned is gross!

Let's leave.

♪ Movin' up

♪ Take me to the top

♪ Do it, now!

[All scream]

I want to know what's going on

Between you and ned.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Oh, wait, I do.

Ned doesn't like you anymore,

And he's totally into me...

And body jewelry.

But you know I like ned!

You had your chance to date ned.

In fact, you had a hundred chances.

And you blew all of them.

So, bye!

Fine. I'll leave.

And that's me at superhero camp.

Fine. You're gorgeous.

But for the last time,

I can't just move people up on the list.

It's based on--

Scientific blabbidy blah!

Come on!

Th?

You're ranked higher than me!

We're below the band weenies!

My formula considers future popularity potential.

Today's weenies are tomorrow's rock stars!

But there's formula you overlooked.

Ahh.

The cut--

And paste formula.

Now...

What if we were in the top ?

What if we were among the laughter,

The parties... The beauty?

Now how does that feel?

It feels pretty good.

But-- if we're in,

Some kids have to come out...

Like this.

[Laughing]

♪ Take me to the top

♪ Do it, now!

Ok, stop!

When are we gonna do something interesting?

And everybody's laughing but nobody made a joke.

You know, she's got a point.

But we're still great-looking, right?

Yeah! Right!

Woo!

Look.

You guys are really nice,

But I miss my old friends, you know?

Then you should go hang with them.

And you're cool with that?

Why wouldn't we be?

So I'm just gonna walk away...

And be with them.

This is me going.

All right!

This way, woo!

You're setting me up, aren't you?

Yes, for this!

Ow!

What are you doing?

You know I like suzie.

What does she have that I don't?

I'm the most popular girl in school,

And way better looking.

Looks aren't everything.

And in my pierced eyes,

Suzie is the coolest and prettiest girl in school.

Suzie: really, ned?

Well, it's not really my style,

But if you're into it, so am i.

I'm not into it!

Missy said you were!

I was just letting missy help me

So I could be popular and go out with you.

This was not according to my plan.

I'd date you popular or not.

And it told missy yesterday

I hate body jewelry.

You will be mine, ned bigby!

Uh!

Well, until that day,

Do you want to go out with me?

Yes.

So, what should we do now?

Let's take these rings off.

The new popularity list is in!

Popularity.

It's not as big a deal as you think.

'Cause if you're not popular in the top ...

[Laughing]

Chances are...

You're popular in your top .

Be it goth kids, mathletes,

Or band weenies.

What!

Rd? I'm ranked rd?

No--no, wait! I'm popular!

Wait, no!

And it's silly to look up to the popular kids,

'Cause the reality is,

They're just like us...

Only better looking.

Hey! Big shake-up in the top .

Missy: no--no! No, wait!

I'm popular!

Looks like I'm out.

Who's in?

Hey!

I saw another show on t.v. Last night.

And it was good, too!

No way!

♪ Give me a sign

♪ Do it, now!

We're all waiting for the answer.

Stress.

You're not graded on it,

But how you score on the freak out meter

Can really effect how you do in school.

Well?

[Alarm sounds]

[Thud]

Ooh, finally!

I, evelyn kwong, am the smartest kid in school,

And simon nelson-cook is not!

[Alarm sounds]

[Evelyn yells]

Yay!

Ned: keeping your grades up high

Is totally stressful.

And friendships and relationships

Can also be stressful.

But luckily for me and suzie,

Things are great.

Hey, suzie!

Suzie, hey!

Suzie!

[Alarm sounds]

Suzie is gonna dump me!

Ok. Stop stressing and think.

Did you do anything to upset her or hurt her

Or eat with your mouth open in any way?

Your nose looks really big here!

Wow!

Uh!

Oh!

[Making chewing noises]

No.

Maybe she's seeing someone that's not me.

And he's better looking!

Aw, neddy.

You need to be more like me, and not care.

I need your help!

Aah--oh! Ah!

Uh!

Ok, all right, we'll fix this thing

Before you turn into one of those freaky stressy people!

This way.

It's tough being a student.

First you've got your school stuff,

Then you volunteer after school at the animal shelter,

Then you've got volleyball,

Dance, uh, piano,

And let's not forget, homework!

How'd you know I do all that?

I didn't.

I did all of those things when I was your age.

And it can be pretty stressful,

But I did it!

And here I am, in a box!

Yep. You and me, jennifer,

Are a lot alike.

Really?

[Alarm sounds]

Simon?

I was wondering...

Would you like to get some pizza after school today?

Can't talk.

Studying for today's english test.

I'll get a .

But when I wow our teacher with

My long extra credit essay,

My grade point average will top

Evelyn, and I will be number .

Impossible!

I'm afraid it's I who will write

The super long essay!

Hah!

Uh!

Sorry, simon.

I'm a bit stressed out.

Our english scores are below

Jefferson middle school.

[Phone rings]

Man: ha ha ha ha!

Their principal calls me just to laugh.

But if we score higher

On the english test today,

Heh heh, then we'll be number !

And I'll be the one who's laughing!

Ah, ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

[Laughing]

She looks like she doesn't like me anymore.

She's buying a soda.

Hey, I'm glad you're here.

I wanted to talk to you about something.

Me, too.

[Phone rings]

Oh, one second.

Yeah, you called?

I've gotta take this.

I've been waiting to hear from you all day!

Oh, this is bad.

I got rid of him. I'll be right there.

[Alarm sounds]

She's kissing a handsome kid, I know it!

Oh, that's only stress vision.

Stress vision-- that's when you let

Your imagination run wild,

And you think the worst is happening,

When it's not!

Whoa!

I might be overscheduled.

I do too much stuff.

I-teacher says we're alike!

What am I gonna do?

Breathe.

Try being a kid, you know,

Chill, relax, take a nap,

Smell the flowers?

Smells pretty good.

Maybe I do need to chill.

Instead of stressin',

I should be chillin'.

I'm chilled.

And nothing like i-teacher.

I'm done stressin', too.

Things with suzie and me will be fine.

I totally can't wait to see you this weekend.

I love you, too.

[Alarm sounds]

Breathe.

And chill.

Lisa, can't think about pizza.

Can only think about destroying

Evelyn on the english test.

This time, it is I who says, "hah."

Hah!

[Bell rings]

I'm stressin' out.

Instead of studying for the english test,

I looked at cloud formations...

And I saw a pig.

Suzie's marrying--

Him!

Dude... You gotta chill.

Go with the flow.

[Thud]

Suzie's gonna dump me!

Well, if she can't catch me,

She can't break up with me!

I gotta go!

Where did ned go?

I wanted to talk to him about something.

Oh, suzie...

You guys gotta chill.

[Thud]

Ok.

You may start.

♪ Hey!

♪ Hey!

♪ I'm turning in search of denial ♪

♪ Yearning for something for their survival ♪

[Bell rings]

Ok.

You can bring your test books to the front.

No!

No!

No, no, no, no, no, no!

Ahh... Frowny face!

Ha ha!

I must say, I'm disappointed.

But I bet you never failed a test.

Guess we're not that much alike after all.

Nope, I never failed a test.

Yes!

Awesome!

Woo! I failed!

Why am I cheering about that?

You know, a little stress is actually good.

It's an alarm in your head

That tells you to make adjustments.

Maybe I made too big an adjustment.

Too much stress, and you could end up

Teaching. From your house.

In a box. Ha ha!

But no stress,

And you could end up like gordy!

[Mumbling]

Ok. That helps.

Gordy, have you seen ned?

[Yawning]

Hi, suzie.

[Alarm sounds]

Hey, lisa.

You are lookin' at the number

Smarty at polk,

Who's looking forward to having that pizza.

Oh--i kind of already have a date.

Me and lisa are getting a slice of pizza.

Since you went all crazy with the grades,

I asked her and she said yes.

I'd ask you to come along and all, but no.

Oh. Well, maybe tomorrow.

Nope.

We're getting a corndog.

Ok, then...

How about the day af--ter...

Simon! Great news!

Because of your massive essay,

We b*at jefferson-- we are number !

Check this out.

[Man sobs]

Hah!

You know, simon,

You and I are a lot alike.

I, too, was at the top of my class.

And that's good, right?

Oh, that's great!

Sure, I would like to have played football,

Or maybe had a few more friends,

But I was at the top.

And it was worth it, right?

Of course!

Looking back,

It would've been nice to have a girlfriend,

Or maybe... Friend.

Oh, simon, don't be like me!

But grades are important, right?

Yes!

But focus on gaining the knowledge,

And the good grades will follow.

And most importantly--

If a girl asks you out for pizza,

You go!

Suzie: ned, I know that's you!

Ow!

Oh!

Find your own place to nap!

Oh, and, uh, suzie's looking for you.

I know what's been going on.

I sort of overheard you on the phone.

It's just that he's really far away,

And I love him.

I'm sure he's a great guy

If that's the way you feel about him.

He's the best!

But I only get to see him on the weekends now,

So I still have time for you during the week.

Wait--you want boyfriends?

Boyfriend?

Ned, I'm talking about my dad.

Say wha?

My dad got a job out of state,

And now I only see him on the weekends.

You thought I had another boyfriend?

Didn't I tell you not to stress?

So...

When it comes to stressing out,

Let's review.

Don't let stress vision get the best of you,

'Cause things are never as bad as they seem.

Ned: if you think you might be overscheduled,

Lighten up, and schedule some goof-off time.

And grades are important in school.

But be careful not to make them

The most important thing in life.

Next week, you are mine!

You can't defeat me!

I am evelyn kwong!

Good luck with that.

You deserve it.

Evelyn...

Wha--uh, what does that mean?

Teach me!

I'm gonna take a nap--

I'm a little freaked out.

You know, maybe it's not so bad being like them.

[Alarm sounds]

All: yeah, it is.

The new populadalah--

Ha ha ha!

I might be overscheduled--

Ha ha!

I might be ov--

Ha ha!

I might be overscheduled, I do--

I might be overscheduled, I do too--

And chill, chill, chill, chill--

[Laughing]

There was a hole in the bag.

It popped.

[Laughs]

[Yells]

[Yells]

I'm third?

Ha ha ha ha!