[Simon & Garfunkel's
"Bookends Theme" playing]
♪ Time it was, and what a time it was
It was ♪
♪ A time of innocence
A time of confidences ♪
♪ Long ago, it must be
I have a photograph ♪
♪ Preserve your memories
They're all that's left you ♪
[Susanna]
Have you ever confused a dream with life?
Or stolen something
when you have the cash?
Have you ever been blue?
Or thought your train moving
while sitting still?
Maybe I was just crazy.
Maybe it was the '60s.
[sirens wailing]
Or maybe I was just a girl...
interrupted.
Put her in restraints. Withdraw blood.
Hold on, dear.
[doctor 1 ] Give her five milligrams
of Valium, IV.
[nurse] Got your end?
[doctor 1 ] Turn her head,
so she doesn't aspirate.
There you go.
[doctor 2] Aspirin fragments and vodka,
I think.
[doctor 1 ] Don't tell me what you think.
Take it to the lab.
You should check my hand.
There's no bones in it.
[doctor 1 ] A wrist banger.
Is that why you did this?
And other things.
[nurse] Her parents are on the way.
Sometimes it's hard...
for me to stay in one...
place.
[Dr. Crumble] Susanna.
If you had no bones in your hand...
how did you pick up the aspirin?
What is my mother doing?
Would you answer my question, please?
How did you pick up the aspirin
if you had no bones in your hand?
By then, they'd come back.
Oh.
I see.
No, you don't.
Well...
indulge me, then.
Explain it to me.
Explain what?
Explain to a doctor that the laws
of physics can be suspended?
That what goes up may not come down?
[telephone ringing]
Explain...
that time can move backwards and forwards,
and now to then, and back again, and...
you can't control it?
Why can't you control it?
[dog barking]
What?
Why can't you control time?
[women chattering and dog barking]
[Annette] Some days when he comes home,
he smells like a lumberjack.
[woman] I don't see why...
- [dog barking]
- [Annette] Sam, shh!
Where were you?
- Everyone is here.
- What?
Come on.
His daughter has gone to some ashram.
- Mary, you remember Susanna.
- Yes, I do.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
This is what you're wearing?
I didn't know it was so early.
I would've changed.
Hey, everybody, look who's here.
- Happy birthday, Dad.
- Thanks, sweetie.
Oh. I'm sorry, I want to say hi to her.
Sweetie, would you hold this for me?
I just want to say hi to Susanna.
Excuse me. Susanna.
- Susanna.
- Professor Gilcrest's wife.
- Barbara Gilcrest. You remember me?
- Hi.
- Bonnie's mom. I'm Bonnie's mom.
- Yeah.
Your skin is so beautiful.
Wasn't Bonnie in your lit class?
Yeah. How is she doing?
She just got accepted to Radcliffe.
Oh, what a conundrum.
I'm a Wellesley girl, myself.
But I think young women should
make up their own mind, don't you?
[Dr. Crumble] Susanna?
Are you stoned?
Do you smoke pot?
Take LSD?
No dr*gs?
How do you feel right now?
I...
don't know.
I don't know what I'm feeling.
You need a rest.
Well, I'll go home, take a nap.
No, no.
You need to go somewhere
where you can get a genuine rest.
And you're very lucky.
The best place for someone like you
is less than a half an hour from here.
You don't mean Claymoore?
Susanna.
Four days ago,
you chased a bottle of aspirin
with a bottle of vodka.
I had a headache.
Susanna.
Your father is a friend of mine.
He's a colleague.
He asked me to see you,
even though I don't do this anymore.
You're hurting everyone around you.
Now, Claymoore is a top-notch place.
A lot of people go there.
Even writers.
Like you.
Great.
Uh, yes, I'd like a cab
at 1240 Milford, please.
My mother's here.
It'll be less emotional
if we do it this way.
Your parents and I talked about it.
[pensive music playing]
[Dr. Crumble] Now make sure, no stops.
Bye-bye.
[Petula Clark's "Downtown"
playing on radio]
♪ When you're alone
And life is making you lonely ♪
♪ You can always go downtown ♪
♪ When you've got worries
All the noise and the hurry ♪
♪ Seems to help, I know
Downtown ♪
♪ Just listen to the music
Of the traffic in the city ♪
♪ Linger on the sidewalk
Where the neon signs are pretty... ♪
[man whispering] Susanna.
Susanna.
[knocking on door]
Susanna.
[group singing
"For He's A Jolly Good Fellow"]
Susanna, you there?
Hey.
I want to see you again.
Look, it was a one-time thing, okay?
- Just come to my office tonight.
- [woman] We're opening the presents.
Tell them you're going to a friend's.
Who should I tell first?
My parents,
the department chairman, or your wife?
- Susanna...
- No.
[cab driver] What did you do?
What did you do?
Excuse me?
Well, you look normal.
I'm sad.
[chuckles] Well, everyone's sad.
I see things.
You mean, like, uh, tripping?
Kind of.
Then they should put
John Lennon away, huh?
I'm not John Lennon.
[cab driver chuckles]
Don't get too comfortable.
Shouldn't my parents...?
You have to sign them, Miss Kaysen.
You're over 18. This is your decision.
[stammers] I didn't try to k*ll myself.
That's the kind of thing
you talk about in therapy, honey.
Not here.
[woman] Miss Kaysen?
You have the distinction
of being the only senior
not going on to college.
May I ask what you plan to do?
I plan to write.
Well, what do you plan to do?
Look, I'm not gonna burn my bra,
or drop acid, or go march on Washington.
I just don't want
to end up like my mother.
Women today have more choices than that.
No, they don't.
And here.
- You forgot one, dear. Here.
- Oh.
Well, speaking for Dr. Wick and myself,
welcome to Claymoore, Susanna.
This is the women's ward,
also known as South Bell.
This is where you'll be staying,
and this is where I work.
All right, this is the second floor.
I need you to stay close to me,
because it's easy to get lost here.
This is our ward.
[door closes, then lock clicks]
All right, let's start with this room.
This is the art room.
[guitar playing out of tune]
Polly.
What are you doing in here?
I feel very musical today. Can I...?
- For just a second?
- Not today, honey. Uh-uh.
That's Polly.
Come on.
Margie.
Polly was in the art room by herself.
I'm sorry, Val.
All right.
Ah, the living room.
Everyone hates it.
And these are the phones.
To make a call,
pick up the handle, tell the nurse.
She'll connect you.
This is the nurses' station,
which is self-explanatory.
And this is the TV room,
where everyone hangs out.
I want my f*cking clothes.
Then you'll have to eat something,
won't you?
The check-in board.
You check in here to take a walk
on the grounds or something.
♪ Oh Lordy, pick a bale o' hay ♪
♪ Gotta jump down spin around
Pick a bale o' cotton ♪
♪ Jump down spin around
Pick a bale o' hay ♪
She thinks that bothers me.
You're an R,
which means "restricted to the ward. "
In about a month,
you'll move up to two-to-ones,
which is two nurses to every patient.
I won't be here that long.
I'm just here for a rest.
It's all right.
Everybody gets the same tour,
free of charge.
[door opens]
Georgina, this is Susanna,
your new roommate.
- Oh, great. Hi.
- Hi.
You're lucky.
Georgina's an excellent roommate.
Why, thank you, Valerie.
- You're welcome.
- Valerie.
[whispering] The cops are bringing Lisa.
She was at the park.
Will you excuse me?
I have some business to attend to.
Will you take Susanna
to the dining room in a half-hour?
Sure.
Yes means yes, Georgina.
I know.
Groovy box.
- That.
- Oh.
Yeah, um, they're French.
The French Resistance smoked them,
I think.
You ever read this?
No. I saw the movie
a bunch of times, though.
Oh, well, the movie's actually based
on the first book.
I read that one too.
But there were
no ruby slippers in it originally.
They added that.
This one takes place afterwards.
Dorothy doesn't really have
such a big part in this one.
- f*cking pig.
- Stop that.
[Lisa] Get off me.
[suspenseful music playing]
Thanks, Gretta.
Hey, Dais, let anyone in your room yet?
Hey, girls.
Hey, sexy.
[makes kissing noises and caterwauls]
It's good to be home.
Hey, Torch.
Hey, Lisa.
You miss me?
Not much.
Get her to her room.
Gretta will do the strip search.
- Who's that with Georgie-girl?
- Come on.
- [Lisa] Where's Jamie?
- [Georgina] I can't deal with this.
- Don't give me a hard time.
- Where's Jamie?
[Lisa] Where is she? Where's Jamie?
Let go. Don't f*cking touch me.
Don't f*cking touch me.
Who are you?
Her name is Susanna, Lisa.
She smokes French cigarettes.
- Why is all your sh*t on her bed?
- [nurse] Open the damn door.
Why? Where's Jamie?
I don't know what you're talking about.
What the hell are you doing, Lisa?
Back off her.
Back off. You've been gone for two weeks.
A lot of sh*t has gone down. Back off.
How'd she do it?
How'd she do it?
How did she do it, Valerie?
Get the f*ck off me.
You weak people.
You're all weak f*cking people.
You're victims.
You people are f*cking sick.
- [Valerie] Gretta?
- What? No, no, no. Val, please. Please.
No. No.
[orderly] Lisa. Get her legs.
[Lisa] Wait, please.
f*ck, no.
Get her feet.
- Got her.
- Get off me.
No, no, no.
Help.
Okay.
[yells]
[orderly] Okay, enough.
We have got to cut those nails again.
My God.
What the hell was that?
That was Lisa.
And Jamie was your roommate?
[Polly] Jamie was Lisa's best friend.
She was sad last week,
because Lisa ran away,
so she hung herself with a volleyball net.
["I Dream of Jeannie" theme song playing]
- Master? Ooh! I'm sorry.
- Huh?
[McWilley] Meds.
Cynthia Crowley.
Susanna Kaysen.
Susanna Kaysen.
I am Mrs. McWilley, and these are for you.
- What are they?
- They'll help you sleep.
- It's 10:30. I'm not gonna...
- For chrissake.
You can discuss it
in the morning with your doctor.
In the meantime, we'll agree to disagree.
Take them here. Have some water.
Polly Clark.
You can go now.
Teresa McCullian.
Daisy Randone.
Angela Coury.
Jacqueline Lights.
Donna Smith.
[melancholy music playing]
[man] Ryan Reed,
yearbook editor,
and member of the honor society.
Heading off to Tulane University.
Congratulations, son.
Andrea Jacobs,
president of the French club
and honor society,
and on her way to Sarah Lawrence.
Susanna Kaysen.
What is she doing?
Some kind of a stunt.
[kids laughing]
Susanna Kaysen.
[feedback wails]
Susanna Kaysen.
Wake up, freak.
Checks.
Georgina.
Why do they do that?
They're just doing checks.
They'll space them out
after you've been here a while.
That girl, Polly.
How did she get all...?
When she was 10,
her mother told her
that she had to give away her puppy,
because he was giving her a rash.
And so Polly went...
and found her father's gas can,
and she poured it all over
where she was getting the rash.
And then...
she lit a match.
Oh, my God.
Well, what about you? Why are you here?
Pseudologia fantastica.
What's that?
I'm a pathological liar.
[The Chambers Brothers'
"Time Has Come Today" playing]
♪ Time has come today ♪
♪ Young hearts can go their way ♪
♪ Can't put it off another day ♪
♪ I don't care what others say ♪
♪ They say we don't listen anyway ♪
- ♪ Time has come today ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪
- ♪ The rules have changed today ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪
- ♪ I have no place to stay ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪
- ♪ I'm thinking about the subway ♪
- ♪ Hey... ♪
- What are your plans this fall?
- What?
What are your plans this fall?
I don't have any.
I'm gonna be an ethnobotanist.
Full scholarship to MIT.
I'm gonna join the Krishnas.
Hare Krishna?
That's interesting, actually.
I was kidding.
[indistinct chattering and laughing]
- ♪ Now the time has come ♪
- ♪ Time... ♪
You're Susanna, right?
I'm Toby, Andrea Jacobs' brother.
I was at graduation.
You're, um...
You're pretty when you sleep.
Checks.
It's seven o'clock.
I mean,
everybody thinks about it at some point.
How would you do it?
I don't know.
I guess I haven't really thought about it.
[sighs]
See, once it's in your head, though...
you become this...
strange, new breed.
A life form that loves
to fantasize about its own demise.
Make a stupid remark, k*ll yourself.
You like the movie, you live.
You miss the train, k*ll yourself.
[Toby] Susanna.
What?
Let's not talk about this anymore, okay?
Why?
Because it's...
stupid.
What?
What are you doing?
What? Because I don't want to k*ll myself?
That's not cool to you?
I don't wanna die. I was just talking.
Look, Susanna,
the world is f*cked up, okay?
It's so f*cked up
that if some draft zombie pulls
my birthday out of a barrel
I'm gonna die.
When's your birthday?
December 30th.
I'll pray for you.
Susanna.
Checks.
Checks.
[door opens]
[Valerie] You asked for this?
Are you gonna watch?
Afraid so.
That's why
there's so many fuzzy-legged women here.
Has anybody ever watched you shave?
I got two kids and one bathroom.
What do you think?
I think you should lock the door.
[man on TV] September 14th.
- Zero-zero-two.
- [M-G] Bingo.
- Bingo. Bingo.
- December 30th.
Oh, my God.
- Bingo.
- Zero-zero-three.
A guy I know was just drafted.
What's his name?
Toby.
Hm. Bingo.
He's dead now.
Bingo.
- Bingo.
- Zero-zero-five.
[Daisy] Get out, Lisa.
I'm not in your room.
I'm right here.
I was gonna offer you nail polish.
Get out!
- You're looking better, Lisa.
- Why, thanks, Margie.
- How's the engagement going?
- You know.
I don't. I've been away.
Joe wants me to...
Before the wedding.
f*ck his brains out. Use a rubber.
[M-G giggles]
Gosh, hell, no.
Ya!
Can I bum one?
Go ahead.
Huh.
So have you had your first Melvin yet?
Who's that?
Bald guy with a little pecker
and a fat wife.
Your therapist, sweet pea.
Unless...
Unless they're giving you shocks.
Or, God forbid, letting you out.
Then you'll see the great,
wonderful Dr. d*ke.
[Margie] She means Dr. Wick.
I've seen his office, but haven't met him.
He's a she. Dr. Wick's a girl.
That's right, M-G. Wick's a chick.
- Wick's a chick.
- [nurse] Lisa.
Hence the nickname.
Hey, Lil. When the f*ck is my checkup?
Now. It's now, Lisa.
You said you'd be in your room.
Can't sit too long
without popping the hood.
assh*le.
[Margie] You have Melvin in half an hour.
I'll take you there.
I'm sorry.
[Melvin] Why are you using the past tense?
[Lisa] What do you mean?
Well, he was only drafted today,
so chances are, he's not dead yet.
He probably has several months
before he even reports.
He was just a nice guy, that's all.
And it made me feel bad.
You've been feeling bad in general.
Right? You've been feeling depressed.
I haven't exactly been
a ball of joy, Melvin.
I understand you tried
to k*ll yourself last week.
Anything you want to tell me about that?
I had a headache.
So I assume you took the recommended
aspirin dosage for a headache.
I didn't try to k*ll myself.
- What were you trying to do?
- I was trying to make the sh*t stop.
The time-jumps, the depression, the, uh...
headaches, the thing with your hand?
All of the above.
I see.
Paul is dead!
- [man continues screaming]
- Susanna?
What is it?
Are you puzzled about something?
Yeah, I guess I am, Melvin.
I'm puzzled as to why it is
I have to be in a mental institution.
You put yourself here.
My parents put me here.
No.
No, they didn't.
Everyone here's f*cking crazy.
You wanna go home.
Same problem.
[in high-pitched voice] M-G, look at me.
Play with me.
Don't be sad.
Don't be sad.
- Hey.
- Lisa.
[in normal voice] Yeah.
- Ah!
- Thank you.
Hi.
Susanna.
- What are these?
- Colace. It's just a laxative.
Oh, I don't need them.
Are we going to have a problem?
[Lisa, mockingly]
Are we going to have a problem?
Are we going to have a problem?
May I see?
Thank you.
[Lisa] Surrender.
Are we going to have a problem?
No, no problem.
Susanna, phone call, booth one.
- Hello?
- [nurse over phone] Hold on.
Hello?
- [Annette] Susanna?
- Hi, Mom.
Hi, honey. Your father's on too.
He's just back from reserves.
He got stuck at Dulles.
- [Carl] How are you doing, honey?
- I'm fine, Dad.
[Annette] You know, sweetheart...
- [Daisy] God!
- [nurse] That's what Dr...
Valerie, if you can't give me Ex-Lax,
can I please have some Colace?
[Valerie] No. No more laxatives.
Margie.
[Margie] I can get her some prune juice.
[laughs] Prune juice.
This is outrageous.
She was wondering if
you'd made any new friends, and I said,
"No, Mom, this isn't Camp Winnetka. "
- Daisy?
- [Daisy] f*ck off.
I have something you want.
[footsteps approaching]
[Daisy] Come in.
["Que sera, sera" playing over radio]
♪ The future's not ours to see ♪
♪ Que sera, sera ♪
♪ What will be, will be ♪
♪ Now I have children of my own ♪
♪ They ask their mother
What will I be ♪
You're all packed up.
Yeah, I'm leaving in a month.
My dad got me an apartment.
- Really? Where? What kind of apartment?
- Near the airport.
One bedroom, two baths, eat-in chicken.
He fixed it up real nice for me.
You mean eat-in kitchen.
That's what I said, assh*le.
So, what do you have that I want?
Put it on the bed and go.
Put yours on the bed.
Oh, Jesus. Get out.
Get out.
Don't take advantage
just because she's new.
Pony up some Valium.
Get the f*ck out,
or I'm calling Valerie. Valerie!
Yeah, why don't you call Valerie?
Call Valerie, and ask her for some Colace,
like Susie Q's got in her hand.
Why does it stink in here?
I don't take Valium.
[Lisa] I know. That's the point.
They give them to you,
and you don't take them.
Are you gonna eat that, or...?
Checks.
You've got visitors, Daisy.
I want some f*cking Colace.
Talk to Melvin tomorrow.
Know what I think?
I think you want to poop, Daisy.
I think it's been days.
Look, it's okay. I don't care.
I do. I do care.
So Daddy buys you a private,
and no one gets in, huh?
You never leave except
when Valerie makes you go to the cafeteria
where you never eat.
You're a laxative junkie, so...
I always thought you were like Janet,
but then here you are with this chicken.
[clucking]
So, what's with that, huh?
My dad owns a deli, assh*le,
with a rotisserie.
I like my dad's chicken.
When I eat something else, I puke.
But why do you eat it here?
Why don't you like to go to the cafeteria?
Which do you like better?
Taking a dump alone,
or with Valerie watching?
Alone.
[Daisy] Everyone likes
to be alone when it comes out.
I like to be alone when it goes in.
To me,
the cafeteria is like being
with 20 girls all at once taking a dump.
That is f*cked up, Daisy.
Come on.
Come on.
All right, assholes.
Fine, here.
Here.
No. Lisa, don't.
No, no, no, please.
[Lisa] Dios f*cking mío.
That's how Daddy knows she's eating.
When I get five,
Valerie makes me throw them away.
[Lisa & Susanna laughing]
- [Lisa] Scribble, scribble, scribble.
- [gasps]
Written anything about me yet?
Don't do that.
Okay.
[Georgina] Lisa?
Is Daisy really getting out?
Yeah.
She coughed up a big one.
How can...? I mean, she's insane.
Yeah, well,
that's what "ther-r*pe-me" is all about.
That's why f*cking Freud's
picture's on every shrink's wall.
He created an industry.
[in German accent] You lie down,
confess your secrets, and you're saved.
Ka-ching!
The more you confess, the more
they think about setting you free.
But what if you don't have a secret?
Then you're a lifer, like me.
I was changing her diaper,
and I turned to get the powder, and...
while my back was turned,
she rolled off the bed.
She rolled off the bed, and broke her leg.
The doctor put her in a body cast,
but also strapped her down.
- [Carl] This has nothing to do...
- You never told me this.
[Annette]
Carl had planned a trip to Santa Monica.
He had a commitment at RAND.
So we took her with us.
On the back seat,
strapped to this board, 4000 miles.
If you like, Mrs. Kaysen,
we can discuss this further
on the way out, but...
Just how long
is my daughter going to be here?
[Melvin] With all due respect, Mr. Kaysen
psychiatry and economics are different.
The length of Susanna's stay isn't fixed.
It depends on her response to treatment.
[Carl] For what? Depression?
Look, it's almost Christmas.
What do we say to the people back home
who care about her?
See, Melvin, what's going on here is
my parents are having a little
holiday cocktail Christmas party crisis.
- [Melvin] Susanna.
- What?
What is this borderline business
you mentioned on the phone?
[Melvin sighs] Look, um...
I don't think that's useful to Susanna.
- I mean, not...
- What borderline business?
- The mind...
- [Susanna] Borderline what?
Borderline between what and what?
Melvin.
It's a condition, Susanna.
Called borderline personality disorder.
Oh, God.
It's not uncommon.
Especially among young women.
What causes it?
We're really not sure.
Is it genetic?
Oh, Christ.
It is five times more common
among those with a borderline...
parent.
I can't do this.
I'm sorry, I can't. I can't do this.
[marching band playing on TV]
Razors pain you
Rivers are damp
Acid stains you
dr*gs cause cramp
g*ns aren't lawful
Nooses give
Gas smells awful
You might as well live
[Lisa] Gin.
[man on TV]... to the parade,
one of our old favorites,
Murphy the Snowman,
rendered four stories high, Sue...
Hey.
assh*le.
[Lisa] Fatso.
Hey, Susanna.
- Hey.
- [Cynthia] John.
Call me a cab.
Okay, you're a cab.
[telephone ringing]
Lisa said you got into Daisy's room.
And it was full of chickens.
[nurse] Susanna, you have a phone call.
Hello?
[woman] So, what's your "diag-nonsense"?
Who is this?
What'd he say to Mom and Pop?
I have a borderline personality.
[scoffs] Well, that's nothing. What else?
He didn't say.
He thought it would affect my recovery.
Tongue your meds tonight.
After one o'clock checks,
Gretta always goes for a smoke.
Check the mirrors.
If they're clear, go to Hector's closet.
It's near the art room,
and it will be open.
[dramatic music playing]
[Lisa] Torch.
Come on.
Come on.
[Polly] Susanna, Susanna.
This is how Lisa gets out
when she escapes.
We're under administration,
so no good here.
Good thing this place has a sliding scale.
We get to mingle
with the lock-picking trash.
[whooping]
Let's go.
Good job.
Susanna, you're up.
No, no, no.
I've only done this once in my life.
- Come on.
- Please.
- [Polly] We came all the way here.
- [Georgina] Come on, Susanna.
[Aretha Franklin's "Night Time
is the Right Time" playing]
♪ You know, the night time ♪
♪ Is the right time ♪
♪ Oh, to be
To be with the one you love ♪
[whooping]
All right.
♪ Come on, baby ♪
♪ I want to be with the one I love ♪
Yes.
♪ And you know
Just who I'm thinking of ♪
- ♪ I tell you, night time ♪
- ♪ Night time ♪
- ♪ Yeah, is the right time ♪
- ♪ Right time ♪
♪ Oh, to be with the one you love ♪
Whoo!
♪ You know my mother
Hadn't a dime... ♪
They put the tunnels in so the loons
didn't have to go out in the cold.
I must've missed that in the brochure.
♪ Oh, come on, baby, I need you... ♪
Hey, open the door.
♪ And I want you to squeeze me, yeah
Just as tight as you can ♪
- ♪ I tell you that the night time ♪
- ♪ Night time... ♪
What the f*ck are you doing?
[Polly] Wow! Dr. Wick's office.
All right. Georgina Tuskin.
Susanna Kaysen.
Polly Clark.
Cynthia Crowley.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
Janet Webber.
Lisa Rowe.
[scoffs]
f*ck you, Melvin.
Wanna see mine?
Let me see yours.
[Janet] "Lisa Rowe.
Highs and lows increasingly severe.
Controlling relationships with patients.
No appreciable response to meds.
No remission observed. "
That was before you ran away.
We're very rare, and mostly men.
[Janet] Lisa thinks she's hot sh*t
because she's a sociopath.
- I'm a sociopath.
- No, you're a d*ke.
"Borderline personality disorder.
An instability of self-image,
relationships and mood.
Uncertainty about goals.
Impulsive in activities
that are self-damaging,
such as casual sex. "
I like that.
[Susanna] "Social contrariness
and a generally pessimistic attitude
are often observed. "
Well, that's me.
That's everybody.
I mean, what kind of sex isn't casual?
They mean promiscuous.
I'm not promiscuous.
I'm not.
Jesus.
Look at Janet.
[Valerie] No, no. It's all right.
Okay, okay, okay.
You know,
taking us for ice creams in a blizzard...
makes you wonder
who the real whack jobs are.
You know, I think it's kind of nice.
I mean, I think it's nice
to do something nice on Daisy's last day.
[Christmas carols playing
over loudspeaker]
[Valerie] Come on, come on, come on.
[Polly] Valerie.
[girls chattering]
- [woman] Vanilla.
- [Polly] Margie?
[Margie] We'll have ten cones.
Oh, f*ck.
I'll have peppermint stick.
Me too. Can I have peppermint stick?
Sure.
No, it's just called "peppermint. "
Peppermint d*ck.
Honestly.
Peppermint clit.
[all laughing]
[Valerie] Okay, okay, okay.
Okay. We're just gonna have four cones.
Four cones.
- Susanna, do you want anything?
- I'm fine.
[Valerie] Lisa?
Hey, Ronny.
- Yes.
- Got any hot fudge?
- Yes.
- Yeah?
Can I have a vanilla sundae
with hot fudge?
And, uh, sprinkles.
Rainbow, not chocolate.
- Mm-hm.
- And, uh...
Um...
whipped cream, cherries,
and...
Nuts?
Okay, okay.
Okay. Let's have a seat, ladies.
Melvin thought that
I should live in a halfway house.
But my father knew
that I deserved my own apartment.
So he got me the prettiest apartment.
It has an eat-in chicken,
and all this beautiful wicker furniture,
which is fantastic.
Wicker butterflies.
My very favorite part
is like in the phone book.
There's a sign right outside that says,
"If you lived here, you'd be home now. "
[woman] Hello, Susanna.
Do you remember me?
You must remember me.
Yes. Mrs. Gilcrest.
- Hi.
- Susanna, you okay?
Oh, I'm fine.
- Hey, Bonnie. How's Radcliffe?
- Hi. Wellesley.
I'm enjoying it.
It's strong in art.
- Going to the Sorbonne.
- That's great, wow.
You know, I know all about you,
and I hope they put you away forever.
Is this the professor's wife?
What professor?
Oh, so you told everybody.
Lady, back off.
- Was I talking to you?
- Let's go.
No, you're spitting on me,
so mellow f*cking out.
[Mrs. Gilcrest] Don't tell me what to do.
[Lisa] Look, she gave your husband
a rim job. Big f*cking deal.
He was begging for it,
and I heard it was like a pencil.
How dare you?
Some advice, okay?
Don't point
your f*cking finger at crazy people.
[imitating dogs barking]
Let go of me.
Mother?
Get that out of my face, assh*le.
[Valerie] Let go.
Now.
Stop it.
[Janet] "Rank" you. Come again,
Mrs. Professor.
[Lisa] You shared a man with that woman?
- Did you enjoy the fresh air?
- Yeah, I did, thanks.
Good, because it's the last time
you're leaving the ward.
Is that a dare, or a double dare?
- [woman] Okay, raise your arms.
- [dance music playing]
Very good. We're going to be trees.
Feel the strength
in your arms as the branches.
And reach those branches up to the sky.
Come on, Susanna, reach.
Very good.
Lisa, all right.
Reach your arms, girls.
Reach. Really lift.
Feel the stretch through the hip.
Very good. Let your arms be branches.
There's strength in those branches.
Reach, reach all the way up into the sky.
Very good.
Let the wind blow the leaves,
and let your fingers be the leaves.
Good, M-G, very good.
Feel the wind.
Good. Good, Lisa.
Very good.
Just lift up. Lift up.
Very good, girls.
Now feel your feet.
Feel your feet be rooted.
Go down into a plié. Very good.
Good, girls. Polly, very good.
Okay, now stretch it.
The wind's blowing hard this way,
blowing you over.
That is not fair. That is not fair!
That is not fair!
Seventy-four is the perfect weight.
Good luck, crazy bitch.
[teacher] Now, what kind of tree can
you be, Janet, down there on the floor?
[Janet] I'm a f*cking shrub, all right?
[Wilco's
"How To Fight Loneliness" playing]
♪ How to fight loneliness ♪
♪ Smile all the time ♪
♪ Shine your teeth till meaningless ♪
♪ Sharpen them with lies ♪
[Susanna]... cannot fight back...
♪ Will follow you around
That's how you fight loneliness ♪
[whooping]
♪ You laugh at every joke ♪
♪ Drag your blanket blindly ♪
♪ And fill your heart with smoke ♪
Martin Luther King, Jr. was k*lled tonight
in Memphis, Tennessee,
sh*t in the face as he stood alone
on the balcony of his hotel room.
Last night, he said this:
[King] Well, I don't know
what will happen now.
We've got some difficult days ahead.
But it really doesn't matter with me now,
because I've been to the mountaintop.
[congregation cheers]
And I don't mind.
[Valerie] Susanna, you have a visitor.
What are you doing here?
[Toby] Hi.
I, uh, ship out next week.
Here.
[girls laughing]
[door opens]
[Gretta] Checks.
Sorry.
No, it's okay.
We have 10 minutes till they come back.
[Lisa mewing]
Hey, Torch.
What you doing?
Nothing.
Well, why don't you go to your room
and do nothing?
[sobbing]
[Margie] Checks.
Checks.
Checks.
Hey, Margie.
- Hey, Lisa.
- What you doing?
- Checks.
- How's Joe?
- He's fine.
- Yeah?
Lisa, I have to do my checks.
Taking five minutes for me
would be a dereliction of duty?
What if I had a punctured artery?
Go about your rounds, ignoring my wounds?
Stop it.
Stop what? Look at this.
Go ahead. Go ahead.
That's enough.
Take one step,
and I'll jam this in my aorta.
- Stop it.
- Lisa.
Your aorta is in your chest.
Good to know.
- I'll make a note of that.
- Good.
[chuckles]
Susanna, you have grounds privileges.
Why don't you take a walk?
Go get a cup of coffee.
[girls moaning]
[groans] We should get out of here.
The cafeteria's this way.
- Keep walking. My wheels are here.
- Wait. What are we doing?
[whispers] We're going to Canada.
Susanna.
You're not crazy.
Okay? You don't need to be here.
I tried to k*ll myself, Toby.
[in normal voice] You took some aspirin.
I took a bottle of aspirin.
That buys you a year in this place?
Susanna, that's bullshit, okay?
They're breaking you.
Come on. All right?
Everything's changing, man.
What do they know about being normal?
[voice breaking] I...
I have friends in here.
Who?
Them?
Those girls... Susanna.
They're eating grapes
off of the wallpaper, okay?
They're insane.
If they are, I am.
No.
- No, baby. Listen, come with me.
- No.
Look, my, uh...
My dad gave me five grand.
Okay? We can go up there.
We can build a cabin in the woods.
Susanna.
Look, I know that this sounds crazy...
but I think I love you.
So come with me. Okay?
Come with me.
You wanna leave, don't you? I mean...
Yes.
I wanna leave.
But not with you.
Not with you.
I'm sorry.
[Toby] Susanna, wait a second.
[dramatic music playing]
[Susanna] Why did you do that?
Fix the light bulb at night?
I'm not here in the morning.
And that's when you like
to draw your pictures and stuff, so...
Oh.
John?
Yeah?
Why do you like me?
I just like you.
That's all.
I wish you were getting better, though.
I would, uh...
I'd take you out
to go see a movie or something.
That'd be nice.
[Polly] No! My face!
My face!
My face!
I'm okay. I'm okay.
- Let her be. She's fine.
- My face.
- My face.
- [John] Come here.
[McWilley] Seclusion.
Take her to Seclusion. Come on.
- I got you.
- Come on.
My face.
Come on.
- My face. Why?
- Open it.
[Polly] Why? My face!
My face!
[McWilley] Quieten down. Quieten down.
You're all right.
All right.
[Polly] I'm ugly! My face!
I'm ugly! Why?
[Polly sobbing]
[man speaking indistinctly on TV]
[Polly] My face. My face.
[man on TV] And the important thing is
that Disney World is located...
[Susanna] Hey.
What happened to Polly?
What needs to happen?
No one's ever gonna kiss her.
They're building
a new Disneyland in Florida.
If I could have any job,
I'd be a professional Cinderella.
You could be Snow White.
Polly could be Minnie Mouse.
And then everyone would hug her,
kiss her and love her,
and no one would know
what's inside that giant head.
Give me your keys.
[Polly] My face.
[Polly sobbing]
Hey, Polly.
It's Susanna.
Just play something.
If talking did sh*t,
we'd be out of here by now.
Come on.
[Susanna] Um...
- [plays note]
- [mutters]
- [plays chord]
- Um...
♪ When you're alone
And life is making you lonely ♪
♪ You can always go ♪
♪ Downtown ♪
[sobbing stops]
♪ When you've got worries ♪
♪ All the noise and the hurry
Seems to help, I know ♪
♪ Downtown ♪
[both] ♪ Just listen to the music
And the traffic in the city ♪
♪ Linger on the sidewalks
Where the neon lights are pretty ♪
♪ How can you lose? ♪
♪ The lights are much brighter there ♪
♪ You can forget all your troubles ♪
♪ Forget all your cares and go
Downtown... ♪
Back to your room, please.
Please, back in your room.
♪ Downtown... ♪
McWilley is gonna wake up.
Give me the guitar.
♪ Listen to the rhythm... ♪
You're gonna get me fired. Lisa.
♪ You'll be dancing with 'em, too
Before the night is over ♪
Give me the guitar.
♪ Happy again ♪
- [guitar clatters]
- No. No.
It's okay. It's okay. Come here.
You'll get me fired. You know that?
[tender music playing]
[Polly] ♪ Downtown ♪
♪ Everything's great ♪
♪ When you're downtown ♪
[door opens]
I'm writing you up.
I am sick of this bullshit.
[Wick] Is she here?
You can go in now.
- What did she do?
- [nurse] They drugged Nurse McWilley.
- Good morning, Susanna.
- Good morning.
How are you?
I'm fine, I guess.
Sit down.
You look tired.
Polly freaked out last night,
and we stayed up singing to her,
Lisa and I.
Have you become friends with Lisa?
Why? Is that bad?
- Does it feel bad?
- No.
Before you came here,
did you have many girlfriends?
Not really.
Would you say that before you came here,
your friends consisted mainly
of boys, of men?
Does it say in there that I'm promiscuous?
Why do you choose that word?
How many guys would I have to sleep with
to be considered promiscuous?
Textbook promiscuous?
What do you think?
Ten. Eight. Five.
How many girls
would a guy have to sleep with
to be considered promiscuous?
Ten? Twenty? A hundred and nine?
Someone who's compulsively promiscuous
might engage in a sex act
with a guest in their room
and then engage in another sex act
during the same day with an orderly.
[scoffs]
Am I in trouble for kissing an orderly
or giving my boyfriend a blowjob?
Melvin says,
you have some very interesting theories
about your illness.
You believe
there is a mystical undertow in life.
"Quicksands of shadows. "
Another one of my theories is that
you people don't know what you're doing.
You acknowledge a problem coping
with this quicksand.
I have a problem coping
with this hospital.
I wanna leave.
I can't do that.
I signed myself in, I can sign myself out.
You signed yourself into our care.
We decide when you leave.
You're not ready for it, Susanna.
Your progress has plateaued.
Does that disappoint you?
I'm ambivalent.
In fact, that's my new favorite word.
Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
I don't care.
If it's your favorite word, I would've...
It means "I don't care. "
That's what it means.
On the contrary, Susanna.
Ambivalence suggests
strong feelings in opposition.
The prefix, as in ambidextrous,
means "both. "
The rest of it, in Latin, means "vigor. "
The word suggests that you are torn
between two opposing courses of action.
Will I stay, or will I go?
Am I sane, or am I crazy?
Those aren't courses of action.
They can be, dear, for some.
Well, then it's the wrong word.
No.
I think it's perfect.
[speaking in Latin]
[dramatic music playing]
"What world is this?
What kingdom?
What shores of what worlds?"
It's a very big question
you're faced with, Susanna.
The choice of your life.
How much will you indulge in your flaws?
What are your flaws?
Are they flaws?
If you embrace them,
will you commit yourself
to hospital for life?
Big questions, big decisions.
Not surprising
you profess carelessness about them.
Is that it?
For now.
This way, Susanna.
[Susanna]
John was moved to the men's ward.
And Lisa never came back
from Dr. Wick's office.
[melancholy music playing]
[man on TV] We live in a time of doubt.
The institutions we once trusted
no longer seem reliable.
[Polly] Susanna.
Daisy sent us a postcard
all about her new apartment.
She got a pussycat. [chuckles]
Where's Lisa?
You know where she is.
They just put her in another ward.
I think you need to get up.
I'm just gonna rest for a while,
just a little while.
Hey... [stammers]
Hey.
I'm... I'm not...
What are you doing?
[exclaims] f*ck!
This shi...
Sorry, too cold?
What the f*ck are you doing?
Get me the f*ck out of this tub!
Get yourself out.
Where's Lisa?
Where the f*ck is Lisa?
What? Can't hack it without her?
You banish her for singing to Polly.
We were trying to help her.
We were trying to help her.
This place is
a f*cking fascist t*rture chamber.
No.
See, I worked in state hospitals.
This place is a five-star hotel.
[snickers]
♪ Oh, Lordy, pick a bale of cotton ♪
You know, I can take a lot of crazy sh*t
from a lot of crazy people.
But you?
You are not crazy.
Then what's wrong with me, huh?
What the f*ck is going on inside my head?
Tell me, Dr. Val,
what's your diag-nonsense?
You are a lazy, self-indulgent little girl
who is driving herself crazy.
Is that your, um, medical opinion? Huh?
Is that what you've learned
in your advanced studies
at night school for n*gro welfare mothers?
I mean, Melvin doesn't have a clue.
Wick is a psycho.
And you,
you pretend you're a doctor.
You sign charts and dole out meds,
but you's ain't no doctor, Miss Valerie.
You's ain't nothing but a Black nursemaid.
[dramatic music playing]
And you're just throwing it away.
[suspenseful music playing]
You still wanna go to Florida?
Lisa, we need money, don't we?
- [Lisa] You've tongued your meds?
- Yeah, but I only have...
They gave me shocks again.
Jamie, I have to get out of here.
I'm Susanna.
I'm Susanna.
What are we doing?
What is it?
"Dear sir,
please give Daisy Randone assistance
installing a telephone
at 23 Vicar Street. "
Thought we were going to Florida.
We need a place
to crash till we get plane tickets.
Come on.
[The Band's "The Weight"
playing over stereo]
♪ When I saw Carmen
And the devil walkin' side by side ♪
Nice coat.
♪ I said, "Hey, Carmen, come on
Let's go downtown" ♪
♪ She said, "I gotta go
But my friend can stick around" ♪
♪ Take a load off, Fanny ♪
♪ Take a load for free ♪
♪ Take a load off, Fanny ♪
- ♪ And you put the load right on me ♪
- ♪ And you put the load right on me ♪
[The Doors' "Roadhouse Blues"
playing over stereo]
♪ Keep your eye on the road
Your hand upon the wheel ♪
♪ Keep your eyes on the road
Your hand upon the wheel ♪
♪ Goin' to the Roadhouse
Gonna have a real ♪
♪ A good time... ♪
[Susanna] Lisa, Lisa.
- What?
- [Lisa laughs]
You don't want me, Tony.
Yes, I do, baby.
No, you don't. I'm a crazy girl.
You're crazy, so we can't have one night?
I am a crazy girl. Seriously.
- You've been in a hospital?
- Yes.
♪ Let it roll, baby, roll... ♪
Do you see purple people?
My friend, he saw purple people.
And so the state came and took him away.
He didn't like that.
Some time went by, and...
And he told them
he didn't see purple people no more.
He got better.
No. He still sees them.
[door slams shut]
We gotta split.
[man] Hey, somebody stop her!
She took my f*cking wallet!
[Daisy] Identify yourself.
It's Susanna and...
It's Susanna. Daisy?
[lock clicks]
[indistinct chatter on TV]
You got Valium?
Yeah.
Okay.
[Susanna] Oh, wow, cool pad.
[Lisa] Hey, Daisy.
Peace, man, peace.
I'm sorry for being a bitch. I was a drag.
That's for you.
[hisses]
That's Ruby.
My dad bought her for me.
This is a Castro Convertible.
Ooh.
- It pulls out. Yeah.
- Cool.
- [Lisa] Where's your bathroom?
- Right there.
You don't have a tub.
No, I don't.
- What about upstairs?
- Nope.
Yeah, okay.
[Daisy] So, what,
did you two escape or what?
[Susanna]
Actually, we're going to Florida.
All you have is mustard and your chickens.
So, what are you girls going
to do in Florida?
I'm gonna be Cinderella
at Walt Disney's new theme park.
Susanna's gonna be Snow White.
You can come if you want.
You can be the cocker spaniel
that eats spaghetti.
I wanna make pancakes.
I'm tired. I wanna go to bed.
I want to make pancakes in the morning.
There's a market on the corner.
Pans are under the sink.
Silver's in that drawer.
Do you have any money?
Do you have some sort
of a safety net down there?
People you know down there in Florida?
Relatives?
Friends? Anything?
Yeah.
This is for your pancakes.
Don't make noise in the morning.
I like to sleep late.
I'll come down when I'm ready.
Psst, psst, psst.
[humming]
[dramatic music playing]
[faucet runs]
Give me the Valium.
We don't need your daddy's money.
Then leave it there.
Just give me the f*cking Valium.
[Lisa] What's this? Huh?
- What's this?
- Let go.
- [Lisa] Trying out your new silver?
- Get the f*ck off me.
Less appealing for Daddy, huh?
Lisa!
Look at your own arm, assh*le.
I'm sick, Daisy. We know that.
But here you are,
in so-called recovery, cut up like a ham.
Lisa, just stop it, okay?
Help me understand, Dais, because...
I thought you didn't do Valium.
Tell me how the safety net is working.
Tell me that you don't drag that blade
across your skin
and pray for the courage to press down.
- Tell me how your daddy...
- Oh, Christ.
helps you cope with that.
Illuminate me.
My father loves me.
I bet.
With every inch of his manhood.
Oh, God.
I'm going to sleep now.
[sighs]
Please be gone in the morning.
You're just jealous, Lisa.
Because I got better.
Because I was released.
Because I have a chance.
At a life.
They didn't release you
because you're better.
They just gave up.
You call this a life? Huh?
Taking Daddy's money?
Buying your dollies and your knickknacks?
Eating his f*cking chicken,
fattening up like a prize heifer?
You changed the scenery
but not the situation,
and the warden makes house calls.
And everybody knows.
Everybody knows that he fucks you.
What they don't know...
is that you like it.
You like it.
- Shut the f*ck up!
- [Lisa] But, hey, man.
It's cool. It's okay.
It's fine. It's f*cking fine.
A man is a d*ck
is a man is a d*ck is a chicken
is a dad,
a Valium, a speculum, whatever.
Hm? Whatever.
You like being Mrs. Randone.
Probably all you've ever known, huh?
Have fun in Florida.
[door slams shut]
[Lisa groans]
[chuckles]
[bittersweet music playing]
[Skeeter Davis' "The End of the World"
playing over speakers]
♪ Why do these eyes of mine cry? ♪
♪ Don't they know... ♪
Has she come down yet?
No.
But she's been playing
that sh*t all morning!
♪ Why does my heart go on b*ating? ♪
♪ Why do these eyes of mine cry? ♪
♪ Don't they know
It's the end of the world? ♪
♪ It ended... ♪
Daisy?
♪ When you said goodbye ♪
[song ends]
[song restarts]
♪ Why does the sun go on shining? ♪
♪ Why does the sea rush to shore? ♪
♪ Don't they know
It's the end of the world? ♪
♪ 'Cause you don't love me anymore ♪
♪ Why do the birds... ♪
Daisy?
♪ Why do the stars glow... ♪
Daisy?
♪ Don't they know
It's the end of the world? ♪
♪ It ended when I lost... ♪
[muffled] Oh, my God.
Oh, God.
[whimpering]
Wow, what an idiot.
[sobbing]
[Susanna picks up phone, then dials]
Yes, I need an ambulance.
Make it a hearse.
Daisy Randone.
I think she k*lled herself.
Yes. Please, hurry.
[Susanna hangs up phone]
♪ Don't they know
It's the end of the world? ♪
You pressed her buttons.
Now you're taking her money.
I didn't press sh*t.
She was waiting for an excuse.
Pack up. We have to go.
All right? We have to go.
Now we have money.
♪ Why do these eyes of mine cry? ♪
Susanna, don't be stupid.
♪ Don't they know... ♪
All right, fine.
Be stupid.
♪ It ended when you said goodbye ♪
[sobbing]
[dramatic music playing]
[thunder rumbling]
[engine starts]
[ambulance departs]
We should send someone for a litter box.
Hey.
Hi.
Can I...?
Can I pet the kitty?
Yeah.
Be careful.
[Polly] Hello.
- Hello, puddy-cat.
- Kitty.
[Janet] Reowr.
You are so cute.
Checks.
Where's Georgina?
She's staying with Polly tonight.
They're playing with your cat.
Did they find Lisa?
No.
I couldn't stand up to her.
A decent person would have done something.
Shut her up.
Gone upstairs.
Talked to Daisy.
Melvin said you went upstairs.
Too late.
What would you have said to her?
I don't know.
That I was sorry.
That I'll never know
what it was like to be her.
But I know what it's like to wanna die.
How it hurts to smile.
How you try to fit in, but you can't.
How you hurt yourself on the outside
to try to k*ll the thing on the inside.
Susanna, it's all well and good
to tell me all this.
But you've got
to tell some of this to your doctors.
How the hell am I supposed to recover
when I don't even understand my disease?
But you do understand it.
You spoke very clearly about it
a second ago.
But I think what
you've gotta do is put it down.
Put it away. Put it in your notebook.
But get it out of yourself.
Away, so you can't curl up
with it anymore.
[dramatic music playing]
Lisa thinks it's a gift.
That it lets you see the truth.
Lisa's been here for eight years.
[sobs] I'm so sorry.
- I was a pig. I was a pig.
- It's all right. Listen, listen.
Do not drop anchor here.
Understand?
[Susanna] When you don't want to feel,
death can seem like a dream.
But seeing death,
really seeing it,
makes dreaming about it
f*cking ridiculous.
Maybe there's a moment, growing up,
when something peels back.
Maybe we look for secrets
because we can't believe our minds.
Though I missed Lisa,
life was easier without her.
A thought is a hard thing to control.
- [narration overlapping]
- Out in the real world...
All I know is that I began to feel again.
Crazy? Sane?
Whatever I was, I knew there was
only one way back to the world,
and that was to use the place,
to talk.
So, I saw the great
and wonderful Dr. Wick three times a week,
and I let her hear
every thought in my head.
Do you think maybe I have ESP
or something, that I'm gifted?
Perhaps.
You think I can be home by Thanksgiving?
Nothing's happened in weeks, you know.
The point is control.
Yeah, and here I am,
in control, off meds,
no headaches, sleeping sound.
[ominous music playing on TV]
[Dorothy on TV] Oh, will you help me?
Can you help me?
You don't need to be helped any longer.
You've always had the power
to go back to Kansas.
[Dorothy] I have?
[Scarecrow]
Then why didn't you tell her before?
[Glinda]
Because she wouldn't have believed me.
She had to learn it for herself.
[Tin Man]
What have you learned, Dorothy?
[Dorothy] Well...
I think that it...
That it wasn't enough just to want
to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em.
[nurse] Valerie.
And if I ever go looking
for my heart's desire again,
I won't look any further
than my own backyard.
Because if it isn't there,
I never really lost it to begin with.
- Is that right?
- [Glinda] That's all it is.
[inaudible dialogue]
Thanks, Joe.
[dramatic music playing]
[hand slapping against wall]
[Lisa] Go away.
Go away!
Lisa.
It's me.
[tender music playing]
It's been a while.
And I just wanted to say hey.
You okay?
Fabulous.
[Valerie] Susanna.
You're gonna be late.
Gretta's waiting for you.
Okay.
I gotta go. Dr. Wick.
They still f*cking with you?
Hmm. They're, uh...
Actually, they're letting me out.
Oh, that's great.
You better go.
[ominous music playing]
Uh, well, my dad got me a job,
a part-time job,
at a bookstore in Harvard Square.
And I got an apartment,
with a phone, so I can...
Stay in touch. Uh-huh.
Yeah. And, uh,
I'll be seeing Sonia twice a week.
Is that your long-term plan?
To work in retail?
Uh...
My plan? No.
Then what do you plan to do?
I plan to write.
Ah.
[McWilley] Polly Clark.
Cynthia Crowley.
Susanna Kaysen.
- I don't think I need...
- Sleeping pills, darling.
You want to be rested for tomorrow.
Last night's a long one.
Good girl. Katie Cooper.
[M.G. grunting]
[McWilley] Rosemary Jones.
Teresa McCullian.
[ominous music playing]
[M.G. gibbering]
[M.G. screaming]
[all clamoring]
[clamoring continues]
[door slams shut]
Ruby?
[indistinct chatter on TV]
[cat meowing]
Ruby?
- Ruby?
- [door slams shut]
[suspenseful music playing]
[Lisa] "If I spread my fingers out,
my hand looked more human.
So, I did that.
But it wasn't tiring holding
my fingers apart, so I let them relax,
and then, heh, I turned my hand over.
- The back wasn't much better.
- Oh, my God.
[Lisa] My veins bulged. "
Shut up, I'm reading. Shut up.
Lisa.
[Lisa] "I can honestly say
that my memory has been transformed.
By Freud's definition,
I've achieved mental health.
And my discharge sheet reads, 'recovered. '
- Recovered.
- No.
[Lisa laughs] Recovered.
Don't do this!
[Lisa] For whatever it was...
[Susanna] Lisa!
[Lisa] Had I stopped arguing
with my personality?
- Lisa!
- [Lisa laughs]
[Lisa] Recovered. "
- Hey, Susanna.
- [Lisa] We were reading your book.
Since it's your last night,
we're having a read-aloud,
celebrate the wisdom
you're carrying into the world.
Try to learn something, grow as people.
When you were a baby,
they strapped you to a board.
You think Georgina doesn't wanna leave,
Polly never will,
and I'm criminally insane.
What are you guys doing here?
"Lisa's eyes, once so magnetic,
now just look empty. "
[Susanna] Lisa.
That is mine.
That is mine.
"Georgina.
Georgina lies only to people
who keep her here.
Sometimes I think
she wants to live in Oz forever. "
How perceptive.
- [Georgina] You better erase that thing.
- Georgina, I...
My father is the head of the CIA,
and he could have you dead in minutes!
- "In this world, looks are everything.
- [Susanna] Oh, God.
Sometimes I think Polly's sweetness
and purity aren't genuine at all,
but a desperate attempt
to make it easier for us to look at her. "
So nice of you to pass judgment on us,
now that you're cured. Hm?
What the f*ck are you doing, Lisa?
I'm playing the villain, like you want.
- I give you everything you want.
- No, you don't.
You wanted your file, I found it.
You wanted out, I got you out.
You needed money, I found you some!
I told you the truth.
I didn't write it in a f*cking book!
I told you to your face.
I told Daisy what everybody knew
and wouldn't say, and she k*lled herself.
I played the f*cking villain.
Just like you wanted.
Why would I want that?
Because it makes you
the good guy, sweet pea.
You come back here,
all sweetness and light, sad and contrite,
and everybody wrings their hands,
congratulating you on your bravery.
Meanwhile I'm blowing through guys
at the bus station
for the money
that was in her f*cking robe!
Stop it, Lisa. She's too...
Shut up, Polly!
[Lisa] Where you going?
I'm talking to you!
[Georgina] Lisa! Lisa, stop it, please.
[suspenseful music playing]
[Lisa] Where you going?
I'm talking to you!
Susanna.
You don't like me anymore?
No, I don't!
- Because you're free?
- [Susanna] Shut up!
You think you're free?
I'm free.
You don't know what freedom is!
I'm free.
I can breathe!
And you, you're gonna go choke
on your average f*cking mediocre life.
[screaming]
There are too many buttons in the world.
- Too many buttons, and they're just...
- No, no, no...
There's way too many,
begging to be pressed.
They're just begging to be pressed.
You know,
they're just begging to be pressed.
- No, no, no...
- And it makes me wonder.
It makes me f*cking wonder.
Why doesn't anybody ever press mine?
Why am I so neglected?
Why doesn't anybody reach in
and rip out the truth,
and tell me that I'm a f*cking whore
and that my parents wish I were dead?
Because you're dead already, Lisa!
No one cares if you die, Lisa...
because you're dead already.
Your heart is cold.
That's why you keep coming back here.
[sniffles]
You're not free.
You need this place.
You need it to feel alive.
It's pathetic.
[both shriek]
[Lisa wailing]
[screams]
I've wasted a year of my life.
And maybe everyone out there is a liar.
And maybe the whole world
is stupid and ignorant.
But I'd rather be in it.
I'd rather be f*cking in it...
than down here with you.
[Georgina] Lisa.
Don't. Don't.
Don't.
[sobs]
Oh, God.
[indistinct chatter on TV]
[door opens]
Did you get it?
I had to trade
with a tr*nsv*stite in the men's ward.
Thanks.
[tender music playing]
I'm not really dead.
I know.
I'm gonna miss you, Susie Q.
No, you're not.
You're gonna get out of here,
and you're gonna come and see me.
Okay?
Yeah.
[Susanna] Hey, Georgina.
You know,
all that stuff I write in my journal,
I don't know what I'm saying.
They're just thoughts.
Maybe I'm the liar.
Maybe not.
See you.
Polly.
You think if I left Ruby here,
you'd take care of her for me?
Let me play with her
when I come for my therapy?
- Yeah?
- Yeah, okay.
Okay.
Thank you.
Bye, Ruby.
[girl] Bye.
- Yeah.
- Bye, Susanna.
Remember me when you shave your legs.
[engine starts]
[Susanna] Declared healthy
and sent back into the world.
My final diagnosis:
A recovered borderline.
What that means, I still don't know.
Was I ever crazy?
Maybe.
Or maybe life is.
Hey.
I remember you.
Hey.
Where you going?
All right.
[Susanna] Crazy isn't being broken
or swallowing a dark secret.
It's you or me,
amplified.
If you ever told a lie
and enjoyed it.
If you ever wished
you could be a child forever.
They were not perfect,
but they were my friends.
And by the '70s,
most of them were out,
living lives.
Some I've seen.
Some, never again.
But there isn't a day
my heart doesn't find them.
[Petula Clark's "Downtown" playing]
♪ When you're alone
And life is making you lonely ♪
♪ You can always go ♪
♪ Downtown ♪
♪ When you've got worries
All the noise and the hurry ♪
♪ Seems to help, I know ♪
♪ Downtown ♪
♪ Just listen to the music
Of the traffic in the city ♪
♪ Linger on the sidewalk
Where the neon signs are pretty ♪
♪ How can you lose? ♪
♪ The lights are much brighter there ♪
♪ You can forget all your troubles
Forget all your cares ♪
♪ So, go downtown ♪
♪ Things will be great when you're ♪
♪ Downtown ♪
♪ No finer place for sure ♪
♪ Downtown ♪
♪ Everything's waiting for you ♪
♪ Downtown ♪
♪ Don't hang around
And let your problems surround you ♪
♪ There are movie shows ♪
♪ Downtown ♪
♪ Maybe you know
Some little places to go to ♪
♪ Where they never close ♪
♪ Downtown ♪
♪ Just listen to the rhythm
Of a gentle bossa nova ♪
♪ You'll be dancing with 'em, too
Before the night is over ♪
♪ Happy again ♪
♪ The lights are much brighter there ♪
♪ You can forget all your troubles
Forget all your cares ♪
♪ So, go downtown ♪
♪ Where all the lights are bright ♪
♪ Downtown ♪
♪ Waiting for you tonight ♪
♪ Downtown ♪
♪ You're gonna be all right now ♪
♪ Downtown ♪
♪ Downtown ♪
♪ Downtown ♪
♪ Downtown ♪
♪ And you may find somebody kind to help
And understand you ♪
♪ Someone who is just like you
And needs a gentle hand to ♪
♪ Guide them along ♪
♪ So, maybe I'll see you there ♪
♪ We can forget all our troubles
Forget all our cares ♪
♪ So, go downtown ♪
♪ Things will be great when you're ♪
♪ Downtown ♪
♪ Don't wait a minute more ♪
♪ Downtown ♪
♪ Everything's waiting for you ♪
♪ Downtown ♪
♪ Downtown ♪
♪ Downtown ♪
♪ Downtown ♪
♪ Downtown ♪
♪ Downtown ♪
[bittersweet music playing]
Girl, Interrupted (1999)
Moderator: Maskath3