07x02 - A Roulette Wheel and a Piano Playing Dog

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Young Sheldon...

So the house is fine?

Well, ours is.

What does that mean?

Your mother's house is sorta... gone.

Gone where?

Everywhere.

I don't have coverage for tornadoes.

You're watching CeeCee today.

Well, who put you in charge?

Okay. Just asking.

Ich bin ein Heidelberger!

[ALL CHEER]

ADULT SHELDON: Heidelberg is considered

one of the most beautiful
cities in Germany.

Heidelberg Palace,
the Karl Theodor Bridge,

the Schloss Schwetzingen.

But I couldn't care less.

The only sights I wanted to
see were the looks of awe

on the faces of my fellow students

as I demonstrated my
intellectual superiority.

Cylinders that are smaller

than ten to the minus-35 meters.

[ALL LAUGH]

What's happening?

You don't laugh at people
saying stupid things in Texas?

You're darn tootin' we do.

So who goofed?

[LAUGHTER]

You did, dummkopf.

Dummkopf? You're calling me a dummy?

Class, who knows where
the dummkopf went wrong?

Mr. Ziegler.

He forgot to consider
the Calabi-Yau manifold.

Thank you, Mr. Ziegler.

Wait, what's the Calabi-Yau manifold?

[LAUGHTER]

Dummkopf.

ADULT SHELDON: I was quickly learning

not all Germans were the
warm, fun-loving people

I was led to believe.

♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪

♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪

And then they laughed
at me for not knowing

something that they knew. Who does that?

You do.

Well, this is no time
for a teachable moment.

Your child is hurting.

Sorry.

There, there.

I guess that'll do.

Now, how about a hot beverage?

Good crowd today.

It's not enough. We need more.

What are you talking about?
We're raking it in.

We got wall-to-wall chumps.

Hey!

Not you. The other chumps.

We're raking in quarters.

I got a house to rebuild.

- You want to raise the price?
- Nope.

I'm thinking bigger.

Table games.

Maybe a roulette wheel.

Whoa. These machines
are already a gray area.

Table games are big-time illegal.

You know why?

Because they make big-time money.

What are the cops gonna say?

"Thank you for my new fishing boat"?

Meemaw, I can't go to jail.

I've got a family to take care of.

Nobody's going to jail.

Please, just take a moment
to think about it.

Fine.

We're doing it.

[LAUGHS]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Jim.

Hey, sorry to just drop by,

but I found some of
Mandy's old baby stuff.

Figured I'd bring it over.

Yeah, well, Mandy's not here.

She took the baby for a check-up,

but you're welcome to wait.

Have a beer, watch the Astros.

A beer in the middle of the afternoon?

Your wife okay with that?

My wife's in Germany.

Oh, my.

For the whole summer.

- You're living the dream.
- Mmm.

Come on.

- Hey, Missy.
- Hey.

Oh, two-for-one green beans.

Oh, look at that, you got
everybody pitching in.

- Good for you.
- Well, I am a head coach.

It's what I do.

Hey, that's not where the caps
go; we talked about this.

Mm. Sorry. Sorry.

She the assistant coach?

She might own the team.

Use the coasters.

Professor Salzman,

I just wanted to let you
know that I studied up

and am now well-versed in
the Calabi-Yau manifold.

Okay.

It was never part of the curriculum

at East Texas Tech.

East Texas Tech?

Sounds charming.

It's actually quite humid.

Regardless, I'm ready to reassert
myself as class leader.

Your classmates are from some
of the most elite universities

in the world.

There is no East MIT.

Well, I would have gone
to a better school,

but I was 11, which you have
to admit is pretty impressive.

Sheldon, at some point we ask

of the piano-playing dog

not, "Are you a dog?"

but, "Are you any good
at playing the piano?"

Excuse me?

[SIGHS] You are far behind
many of your peers.

I have no peers.

I think they would agree.

Which is why I'm going
to recommend tutoring.

- Me tutor them?
- No.

- You tutor me?
- No.

Me tutor you?

- Miss Chen.
- Yes, Professor?

You have an undergraduate
degree in education, ja?

Yes, sir.

Teach him.

[PEOPLE CHEERING]

No more bets.

What the hell?

Where'd you get the table?

I know a guy.

Where'd you get him?

He's the guy.

Red 12.

No winners.

Oh-ho, there's a winner.

Can we even trust him?

Herman? Look at that baby face.

He says, on a good night,

one table can throw
off a thousand dollars.

That's a lot of diapers, Georgie.

Huh.

Maybe even a nanny.

Huh!

How is it, the three of y'all
living in Sheldon's room?

HERMAN: Red 16. No winners.

[BABY FUSSING]

Hey, could you watch
her for a little while?

I would, but I gotta get
to the grocery store

if dinner's gonna be ready.

GEORGE SR.: Three-fifty.

Three hundred and fifty dollars
for a dining room set?

You must be crazy.

That's what you said about the jet ski,

- but I nailed it.
- Well...

You guys having a good time?

Oh, yeah, great time.

- It's over.
- Wha...

Well, what about Showcase Showdown?

Here we go. Green beans.

No. No, no, no, no, no.
That's not the one on the coupon.

You want... Bottom row.

Ooh, good catch.

Missy'd have had my ass.

Well, I'm here for you.

All righty, now.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Hello?

Good afternoon, I'm here
for tutoring with Sheldon.

Oh, he's helping you? Isn't that nice.

No, I'm helping him.

Sorry?

I'm tutoring him.

Excuse me just a minute.

Shelly?

[KNOCKS ON DOOR] Your tutor's here.

I've been thinking about it.
We should go home.

Why?

I miss Dad and football.

The whole shebang.

Honey, are you sure this isn't
because you need a tutor,

and she's a little girl?

Leave me alone.

Didn't you say that you
wanted to come here

to learn new things and
expand your horizons?

What do I know? I'm a dummkopf.

Oh, nobody thinks that.

I do.

I thought we'd get started
with anti-de Sitter space.

That sounds fun. What's that?

I wish I could tell you.

Oh, um...

Come on, I just gave you a hint.

We solve for the geodesics.

- Wrong.
- Ow! Why'd you hit me?

Pain is the best teacher.

You're a very impressive little
girl, but there's a saying.

At some point, it's not enough
to be a dog who plays the piano.

You have to play the piano well.

I play extremely well.
I'm a concert pianist.

Of course you are.

[MARY CHUCKLES]

- What?
- Sorry, just a funny part of the Bible.

MISSY: ...for the food
we're about to receive,

and bless the hands that prepared it.

And for the hands what went
to the store and bought it.

[DOOR SHUTS]

Sorry, had a tough time
getting her down.

She had horrible gas.

Well, that's weird.
She was an angel with us.

- [BABY CRYING]
- Maybe she's hungry.

Maybe she's teething.

You know what, let her
suck on a Slim Jim.

Ooh! Two birds.

You're awful quiet tonight.

Oh, just work stuff.

Huh, I wouldn't have thought
running a laundromat

would be all that stressful.

[ELECTRONIC WHISTLES AND BELLS]

Well, Dad, you run your own business.

You know what it's like
dealing with the public.

That I do. Actually, I had a
guy the other day came in

returning a set of tires
I sold him a year ago,

way past warranty.

Put up quite a stink, too.

How'd you handle it?

Gave him a new set of tires.

I mean, I lost a couple bucks,

but got a customer for life.

Smart. I could learn a lot from you.

Well, you can learn a lot
from your father, too.

Hmm. All right, what you got, big man?

- Uh, well...
- [TELEPHONE RINGS]

Saved by the bell.

[RINGING CONTINUES]

Would it k*ll anyone to say "thank you"

- for this delicious meal?
- GEORGE SR.: Hello.

- Thanks.
- Thank you.

GEORGE SR.: Hang on.
Jim, it's your wife.

Hi, honey.

I am sorry, I lost track of time.

I was playing with the baby,

who, I got to tell you, looks more
and more like you every day...

Okey-dokey, I will be right home.

Five minutes.

Gotta go.

[SIGHS]

- What?
- Nothing.

Georgie, I can tell
when something's wrong.

Nothing's wrong.

[SIGHS]

Just tell me.

- Is it that obvious?
- Yes.

All right.

Meemaw put a roulette
wheel in the slot room,

and I'm real worried about it.

Why?

The slots are already in a gray area.

A roulette wheel could land us in jail.

Okay, then tell her
you want no part of it.

I did, but she said it could throw
off a thousand dollars a day.

Oh.

Then do it.

But I could go to jail.

[SCOFFS] I'll wait for you.

I thought you'd be on my side.

Georgie, I am on your side.

In fact, we should get married sooner

so that I can't testify against you.

And also because you love me.

Thousand bucks a day?

You bet I love you.

So listen, I thought it over

and decided the risk is worth it.

Good. Mandy on board?

I didn't ask.

Glad she brought you around.

Listen, why don't you shadow Herman,

see how it's done.

You want me to run the wheel?

We should be ready.

[COUGHS]

It's the bottom of the
ninth for this guy.

HERMAN: Red 12.

No winners.

[GASPING]

- You okay?
- Yeah.

I got just the one lung.

Connie said you'd show me the ropes.

Oh, sure. There's nothing to it.

You'll catch on in no time.

No more bets.

So, we bought this table from you?

Oh, yeah.

I used to have a little
gambling room of my own.

Until it got shut down.

- Cops?
- Oh, no, nothing like that.

Dixie mafia.

They threatened to cut off my...

Red 16. Red 16.

Cut off your what?

- Wrong.
- What is wrong about this?

You didn't account for
all the dimensions.

The Calabi-Yau manifold
has six dimensions.

Only if there's fermions.

Without fermions, there could
be up to 26 dimensions.

What? Dr. Linkletter and Dr. Sturgis

never mentioned 26 dimensions.

Who are they?

They're my teachers,
and they're really smart.

I've never heard of them.

Well, I've probably never
heard of your teachers.

I recently studied
with Henry W. Kendall.

The Nobel Prize winner for
his pioneering research

on the deep inelastic scattering

of electrons on protons
and bound neutrons?

- Yes.
- Never heard of him.

Try again.

Oh, I see the problem.

This is stupid.

You can't just invent dimensions.

There's this one,

this one and this one.

You forgot the dimension of time.

Ow. Thank you.

[INHALES SHARPLY]

[COUGHS]

You want to sit down or something?

I sit down, I might not ever get up.

Uh-oh.

Dixie mafia.

What do we do?

Just stay calm. Let me do the talking.

Who's in charge here?

He is.

Give us the money.

I-I can't.

I have a daughter to support.

Hope she likes being an only child.

[GASPS]

[SIGHS]

What're you doing up?

Can't sleep.

Same.

You want some tea?

Hot tea?

What am I, the Queen of England?

You okay?

Don't become an adult. It sucks.

[SCOFFS] Too late.

Do you know how much it costs
to feed a family these days?

If it wasn't for double coupons,

I don't know how we'd manage.

Well, making the money's
no picnic either.

I mean, I want to provide
for Mandy and CeeCee,

but... [SIGHS]

...it's really working my last nerve.

I spend my whole day
holding this house together

and no one even says, "Thank you."

I get it. I get home from work,

but does anyone ask how my day was?

How was your day?

Don't ask.

Why do we even do it?

Well, I got a fiancée and a baby,

and we're all sleeping
in Sheldon's room.

Oh, yeah, you're screwed.

I mean why do I do it?

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Hello.

Why did you never tell me
there's 26 dimensions?

What?

I'm in Heidelberg and I'm
studying string theory,

and I'm now drastically
behind, thanks to you.

Sheldon, it's 3:00 in the morning.

Oh, that explains why
Dr. Sturgis didn't pick up.

That explains why I'm hanging up.

I had to be tutored by a child

and the professor called me a dummkopf.

[CHUCKLES]

- Now I'm glad you called.
- I don't like it here.

I miss being the smartest one in class.

Son, if you're always the smartest,

you're never learning anything.

Interesting. So what do I do?

Listen.

I'm listening.

No, that's the answer.

Try doing something
you're truly awful at:

just shut up and listen.

But what if I...

When you're in class, listen.

But I could...

[LINE DISCONNECTS]

Guess I should pee.

What, you didn't make
a big ol' breakfast?

I did, and I'm eating it.

And when I'm done, I'm gonna go watch TV

while you make your own
breakfast and do the dishes.

But...

you were doing great, so grown-up,

cooking and cleaning.

Mm-hmm. Pass the syrup.

I thought we had a
whole thing going here.

Now we have a new thing.

Look at the fridge.

_

Chore chart?

That's right.

You realize it's my job
that pays for all this.

That is true. Thank you.

You're welcome.

And thank you in advance
for doing the laundry

and taking out the garbage.

What about Georgie?

Look at the chart.

Georgie mows the lawn
and cleans the toilet.

[CHUCKLES]

PROFESSOR SALZMAN: One
should not even attempt to unify

type-one und type-two...

ADULT SHELDON: I wanted
to give up and run away,

but I had read enough comic books

to know that heroes don't quit.

Instead of running, I decided to stay

and face the biggest
challenge I've ever had:

keeping my mouth shut.

Any thoughts on the compactification

of the extra dimensions here?

["DA DA DA" BY TRIO PLAYING]

ADULT SHELDON: Mmm.

Ja.

One must conserve the
unbroken supercharges.

Und the spherical Hankel transform

of this equation is...

♪ ♪

ADULT SHELDON: This turned out to
be a pivotal moment in my life.

By being open to people smarter than me,

I grew as both a man and a scientist.

Humble, brilliant...

I really am the whole package.

♪ ♪

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Hey. What brings you by?

Well, I finished my honey-do list,

so Audrey gave me the afternoon off.

Come on in.

All right, I thought
we'd do something fun.

Well, this isn't fun.

I didn't make the chore chart.

- Just grab a corner.
- There is no corner.

[TOILET FLUSHES]

Georgie, give us a hand.

Oh, you don't want me touching anything.