02x19 - Us 'R' Toys

[bunniefuu]

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Chef: Hey kiiiiiids... check it out!

I brought in a bunch of toys from my childhood!

(Trunk thuds)

Mom was trying to sell them in a garage sale

if you can believe it.

Just look at this guy!

Arrr, I'm Pirate Pete!

- Great. What does it do?

- Arrr... I'm Pirate Pete.

Okay, Fine then. Check out Baby Sourguts!

They don't make 'em like this anymore!

(Huge belch)

- Baby Sourguts? Ugh!

- What's this one?

- Ah, that's a...

(TV commercial singing) ♪ Hair Force Commando

He's got Funky Follicle Power!

- (Sniffs) Ugh!

It's not the only thing that's funky.

- I guess when Chef was a kid they hadn't invented fun yet.

- (Laughs) These toys are cheesier than Owen's breath.

- Fair.

- And sadder than Cody's...

well, sadder than Cody.

- I'm a lost cause!

- This is a bust. We're outta here.

- And "Oh wow, what fun",

a rock on a string.

- (Gasps) It's a Wishy Crunch Wishing Stone!

They came in boxes of cereal.

- Toys in food?

Talk about a choking hazard!

- Sure we choked. But if you survived?

FREE TOY!

- Seems very irresponsible... I like it.

- I wish I could show you two

how cool and amazing my old toys really are.

(Fizzles, Poof!)

- What's going on?

And why am I so close to the floor?

(Belch)

- More importantly...

why is your voice coming out of a burpy baby?

- Because we turned into Chef's awful toys?!

(Screaming) - (Belch)

- And what's with this makeup?

Am I supposed to be a clown princess?!

- What? No!

Princess Prancey pants is a ballet dancer!

Watch!

(Classical music plays) - Ahhhh!

I hate it! Make it stop!

- (Farts) Uh, I don't wanna alarm anyone,

but I think Gwen's yelling triggered

my realistic diaper-filling action?

(Farts)

Okay, forget that! We gotta focus!

Clearly something weird is going on.

We need to stay calm.

- I feel like that would be easier

if I wasn't % hairdo!

- Easy, Duncan.

These toys have some cool tricks up their sleeves.

Just check your backpack.

It's full of funky attachments.

- Attachments?

What are we talking here? Military grade?

- Oh, Hair Force was the real deal.

- Okay, smell ya later.

I'm off to see what kind of trouble I can cook up.

- Whoa whoa. In order to stay alive

we have to stay together.

- Yeah, that's not really my thing?

Lone wolf, remember?

And I really don't think you can stop me anyway.

Isn't that right...

widdle baaaby?

- Duncan! (Belch) Stop it!

Whoa! (Crash)

- That's what I thought. Later, doll face.

- AAAAAAAAAAAH! Whao!

(Angry sigh) Duncan can do what he wants?

But I am NOT staying trapped as a dancing cupcake!

URGH!

I wish I never came in today.

- (Gasp) That's it! The wishing stone!

It must have activated when I wished

you'd see how amazing my toys are.

We have to find it!

- Hey! Where'd everybody go?

- Whoa!

- We have to make sure we stay hidden from the others.

Don't you remember what you kids do to toys?

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- The cow says...

(gurgling) helllp...

- Well, we're doomed.

- Yeah. Let's stay in the trunk.

Duncan: If I'm stuck being a lame toy,

I might as well have some fun.

Hold up. A comb? A curling iron?

Are you kidding me?

C'mon Chef! I thought you said these were cool attachments!

Hmm...

(Dryer whirs)

(Screaming)

(Duncan cackles)

Okay, now I can work with this.

(Engine roars)

Ahhhhh! Ahhhh!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhh!

(Sputters) Oh oh.

Ahhhhh! (Clanks, groans)

- Nice work using Pirate Pete's telescope.

- (Gasp)

That squirrel's trying to get our stone!

(Clank) Let's go!

(Music plays)

AGH! Why can't I just walk?

(Sigh) Okay, you keep a lookout

and I'll go grab the stone.

- What's wrong with prancing?

I'd rather prance and dance than poop my pants

(Screams, burps)

- Hey, it's Chef's weird baby.

Aww, it looks so lonely.

Here you go!

Time for your naaaaa-aaaaap!

(Quiet burp, snoring)

That's a good creepy baby.

(Gasp) But what about after he wakes up?!

I gotta find a picture book that tells me what to do.

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- Hey! Wake up! - Come on, Chef,

you gotta wake up! Now! Let's go!

- Ptooey! Huh? Whuh? What's goin' on?

- Well, it looks like you were having a peaceful little nap

while I was pirouetting after this stinking stone!

- Now can you please turn this thing on

and get us out of these awful toys?

- (Sighs) Fine.

Wishing stone (Belch) please free us from these...

wonderful-amazing (Belch)

super-cool toys!

- It didn't work? Oh come on!

We're stuck being lame forever!

- You know what? (Belch) I'm glad!

Maybe being stuck this way will help you learn

to appreciate how special my toys really are.

(Belch)

Cody: I'm a comin', creepy baby!

- Quick, hide!

- Wait! We need to stick together! Whoa!

- The only parenting book I could find was

"Johnny, Johnny, Don't Hide Your Poop"

(Farts)

- Well, that doesn't seem to be a problem for you.

The book says I need to change your diaper

after every boom-boom.

Weird, 'cause I just get hosed down in the yard.

Oh well! I'll try anything once!

(Baby crying)

- Forget sticking together, Chef's toast.

We have to help ourselves.

(Eating sounds)

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- Whoa!

(Low hum of engine)

(Gwen grunts in pain)

- Wow. This is harder than I thought.

- Wait. How did you just do that?

- Don't worry about it.

At least now we're safe here on the--

- Teeter totter time!

(Screaming) (expl*si*n)

(Coughing)

- Maybe Chef was on to something with that

"staying together" stuff.

- Uh, speaking of Chef...

- (Farts) - Oh, come on!

That's the th one!

How are you not empty yet?

- Oh no. Cody's still got him!

- And Cody looks... really tired?

- I'm sorry, baby.

I thought being a dadda would be fun?

But it's really hard!

So... I guess what I'm saying is...

good luck with everything? Byeeee!

So much poop.

How'd it make so much poop?!

- (Belch)

- Don't worry Chef, we got you.

- Finally! I thought Cody was never gonna leave me alone.

- We're sorry, Chef. You were right.

Us toys gotta stick together if we wanna survive.

- Well, I'm glad you kids came to your senses

before anyone got hurt--

(Squirrel laughs) Wait... what's that sound?

(Screaming)

HEY! LET GO! HELP!

(Screaming)

- That was unexpected.

(Grunting)

- Okay, squirrel!

Why don't you pick on somebody your own size!

(Screaming)

(Squirrel chitter)

- WOO HOO! This is fun!

(Squirrel bites) Fun's over, fun's over!

- Gwen, you have to help him!

It's the only (Belch) way!

- But I can't even walk! How am I supposed to fight?

- Ahhh! UGH!

(Pained groans)

- Fine! Tell me what to do.

- It's easy! You just have to...

feel the rhythm. - Oh no! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

- Ahhhh!

- Ha! Yes!

(Growls)

HIYAH! (Fighting grunts)

- So her toy was actually cool this whole time?

What a rip off!

- Don't sell yourself short, Hair Force Commando!

Those attachments might come in useful right about now!

- Agh! - (Pained grunt)

Ahh! - Leave her alone, FUZZBALL!

(Squirrel chitter)

(Attack yells)

(Whooshing)

Huh?

(Dryer whirs)

(Screaming)

(Angry growl)

Both: Uh oh.

- Duncan! FINISH HIM!

Agh!

Arghhhhh! Oof!

- (Cheering) Yay! - (Belch)

- We were incredible out there!

- I have to admit,

prance fighting was kind of cool.

- Maybe your toys aren't totally lame after all.

- That means so much to me.

(Fizzles, Poof!)

- We... (Gasp) We did it, kids!

We're free! (Belch)

- Hey Chef?

Um, do you think we could hold on to these for a while?

- You know... to play with 'til pickup?

- (Sniffles) Of course!

- Nice. - Alright!

- YAAAAAAAAY! - Alright wishing stone,

you're clearly too dangerous to be in a daycare.

Time to put you somewhere you can't possibly cause

any more trouble...

- (Evil cackle)

(Fizzles, Poof!)

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