♪♪♪
♪♪♪
Chef: Hey kiiiiiids... check it out!
I brought in a bunch of toys from my childhood!
(Trunk thuds)
Mom was trying to sell them in a garage sale
if you can believe it.
Just look at this guy!
Arrr, I'm Pirate Pete!
- Great. What does it do?
- Arrr... I'm Pirate Pete.
Okay, Fine then. Check out Baby Sourguts!
They don't make 'em like this anymore!
(Huge belch)
- Baby Sourguts? Ugh!
- What's this one?
- Ah, that's a...
(TV commercial singing) ♪ Hair Force Commando
He's got Funky Follicle Power!
- (Sniffs) Ugh!
It's not the only thing that's funky.
- I guess when Chef was a kid they hadn't invented fun yet.
- (Laughs) These toys are cheesier than Owen's breath.
- Fair.
- And sadder than Cody's...
well, sadder than Cody.
- I'm a lost cause!
- This is a bust. We're outta here.
- And "Oh wow, what fun",
a rock on a string.
- (Gasps) It's a Wishy Crunch Wishing Stone!
They came in boxes of cereal.
- Toys in food?
Talk about a choking hazard!
- Sure we choked. But if you survived?
FREE TOY!
- Seems very irresponsible... I like it.
- I wish I could show you two
how cool and amazing my old toys really are.
(Fizzles, Poof!)
- What's going on?
And why am I so close to the floor?
(Belch)
- More importantly...
why is your voice coming out of a burpy baby?
- Because we turned into Chef's awful toys?!
(Screaming) - (Belch)
- And what's with this makeup?
Am I supposed to be a clown princess?!
- What? No!
Princess Prancey pants is a ballet dancer!
Watch!
(Classical music plays) - Ahhhh!
I hate it! Make it stop!
- (Farts) Uh, I don't wanna alarm anyone,
but I think Gwen's yelling triggered
my realistic diaper-filling action?
(Farts)
Okay, forget that! We gotta focus!
Clearly something weird is going on.
We need to stay calm.
- I feel like that would be easier
if I wasn't % hairdo!
- Easy, Duncan.
These toys have some cool tricks up their sleeves.
Just check your backpack.
It's full of funky attachments.
- Attachments?
What are we talking here? Military grade?
- Oh, Hair Force was the real deal.
- Okay, smell ya later.
I'm off to see what kind of trouble I can cook up.
- Whoa whoa. In order to stay alive
we have to stay together.
- Yeah, that's not really my thing?
Lone wolf, remember?
And I really don't think you can stop me anyway.
Isn't that right...
widdle baaaby?
- Duncan! (Belch) Stop it!
Whoa! (Crash)
- That's what I thought. Later, doll face.
- AAAAAAAAAAAH! Whao!
(Angry sigh) Duncan can do what he wants?
But I am NOT staying trapped as a dancing cupcake!
URGH!
I wish I never came in today.
- (Gasp) That's it! The wishing stone!
It must have activated when I wished
you'd see how amazing my toys are.
We have to find it!
- Hey! Where'd everybody go?
- Whoa!
- We have to make sure we stay hidden from the others.
Don't you remember what you kids do to toys?
♪♪♪
- The cow says...
(gurgling) helllp...
- Well, we're doomed.
- Yeah. Let's stay in the trunk.
Duncan: If I'm stuck being a lame toy,
I might as well have some fun.
Hold up. A comb? A curling iron?
Are you kidding me?
C'mon Chef! I thought you said these were cool attachments!
Hmm...
(Dryer whirs)
(Screaming)
(Duncan cackles)
Okay, now I can work with this.
(Engine roars)
Ahhhhh! Ahhhh!!!!
Ahhhhhhhhh!
(Sputters) Oh oh.
Ahhhhh! (Clanks, groans)
- Nice work using Pirate Pete's telescope.
- (Gasp)
That squirrel's trying to get our stone!
(Clank) Let's go!
(Music plays)
AGH! Why can't I just walk?
(Sigh) Okay, you keep a lookout
and I'll go grab the stone.
- What's wrong with prancing?
I'd rather prance and dance than poop my pants
(Screams, burps)
- Hey, it's Chef's weird baby.
Aww, it looks so lonely.
Here you go!
Time for your naaaaa-aaaaap!
(Quiet burp, snoring)
That's a good creepy baby.
(Gasp) But what about after he wakes up?!
I gotta find a picture book that tells me what to do.
♪♪♪
- Hey! Wake up! - Come on, Chef,
you gotta wake up! Now! Let's go!
- Ptooey! Huh? Whuh? What's goin' on?
- Well, it looks like you were having a peaceful little nap
while I was pirouetting after this stinking stone!
- Now can you please turn this thing on
and get us out of these awful toys?
- (Sighs) Fine.
Wishing stone (Belch) please free us from these...
wonderful-amazing (Belch)
super-cool toys!
- It didn't work? Oh come on!
We're stuck being lame forever!
- You know what? (Belch) I'm glad!
Maybe being stuck this way will help you learn
to appreciate how special my toys really are.
(Belch)
Cody: I'm a comin', creepy baby!
- Quick, hide!
- Wait! We need to stick together! Whoa!
- The only parenting book I could find was
"Johnny, Johnny, Don't Hide Your Poop"
(Farts)
- Well, that doesn't seem to be a problem for you.
The book says I need to change your diaper
after every boom-boom.
Weird, 'cause I just get hosed down in the yard.
Oh well! I'll try anything once!
(Baby crying)
- Forget sticking together, Chef's toast.
We have to help ourselves.
(Eating sounds)
♪♪♪
- Whoa!
(Low hum of engine)
(Gwen grunts in pain)
- Wow. This is harder than I thought.
- Wait. How did you just do that?
- Don't worry about it.
At least now we're safe here on the--
- Teeter totter time!
(Screaming) (expl*si*n)
(Coughing)
- Maybe Chef was on to something with that
"staying together" stuff.
- Uh, speaking of Chef...
- (Farts) - Oh, come on!
That's the th one!
How are you not empty yet?
- Oh no. Cody's still got him!
- And Cody looks... really tired?
- I'm sorry, baby.
I thought being a dadda would be fun?
But it's really hard!
So... I guess what I'm saying is...
good luck with everything? Byeeee!
So much poop.
How'd it make so much poop?!
- (Belch)
- Don't worry Chef, we got you.
- Finally! I thought Cody was never gonna leave me alone.
- We're sorry, Chef. You were right.
Us toys gotta stick together if we wanna survive.
- Well, I'm glad you kids came to your senses
before anyone got hurt--
(Squirrel laughs) Wait... what's that sound?
(Screaming)
HEY! LET GO! HELP!
(Screaming)
- That was unexpected.
(Grunting)
- Okay, squirrel!
Why don't you pick on somebody your own size!
(Screaming)
(Squirrel chitter)
- WOO HOO! This is fun!
(Squirrel bites) Fun's over, fun's over!
- Gwen, you have to help him!
It's the only (Belch) way!
- But I can't even walk! How am I supposed to fight?
- Ahhh! UGH!
(Pained groans)
- Fine! Tell me what to do.
- It's easy! You just have to...
feel the rhythm. - Oh no! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
- Ahhhh!
- Ha! Yes!
(Growls)
HIYAH! (Fighting grunts)
- So her toy was actually cool this whole time?
What a rip off!
- Don't sell yourself short, Hair Force Commando!
Those attachments might come in useful right about now!
- Agh! - (Pained grunt)
Ahh! - Leave her alone, FUZZBALL!
(Squirrel chitter)
(Attack yells)
(Whooshing)
Huh?
(Dryer whirs)
(Screaming)
(Angry growl)
Both: Uh oh.
- Duncan! FINISH HIM!
Agh!
Arghhhhh! Oof!
- (Cheering) Yay! - (Belch)
- We were incredible out there!
- I have to admit,
prance fighting was kind of cool.
- Maybe your toys aren't totally lame after all.
- That means so much to me.
(Fizzles, Poof!)
- We... (Gasp) We did it, kids!
We're free! (Belch)
- Hey Chef?
Um, do you think we could hold on to these for a while?
- You know... to play with 'til pickup?
- (Sniffles) Of course!
- Nice. - Alright!
- YAAAAAAAAY! - Alright wishing stone,
you're clearly too dangerous to be in a daycare.
Time to put you somewhere you can't possibly cause
any more trouble...
- (Evil cackle)
(Fizzles, Poof!)
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
♪♪♪
02x19 - Us 'R' Toys
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Series re-introduces some of the original "Total Drama" characters in an alternate universe where they are aged down from teenagers to toddlers, being taken care of by Chef Hatchet.
Series re-introduces some of the original "Total Drama" characters in an alternate universe where they are aged down from teenagers to toddlers, being taken care of by Chef Hatchet.