02x22 - Wiggin' Out

[bunniefuu]

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

Chef: Okay, gather round, kids.

- Is the forecast calling for indoor winter today, Bridgette,

ya hoser?

- (Sighs) What have I told you kids about Canada-shaming?

Now, Bridgette has done something very nice

and while, yes, she looks like a "hoser",

it's for a great cause.

- Tah-dahhhh.

All: Whoaaaaaa!

- (Laughing) OOF! OW!

- I donated my hair to an awesome charity.

And I brought a video to explain how it works!

- Okay, you kids enjoy your bring movie

while I go do little yard work.

Lousy landscaper never showed up.

(Sniffs, grossed out sounds)

- Brace yourselves,

this one's a real tear-jerker!

- Hi. I'm Lilith O'Doherty,

beloved Canadian Singer-Songwriter.

And I'm here to ask you to help

some of my special friends: hairless cats.

(Bad singing) ♪ And she feels her feelings

♪ So deeee-eeeep

♪ More secrets than promises

♪ To kee-ee-eeeeep

(Off Key croon gymnastics)

With no fur to cover their uncooked-chicken-like bodies,

these poor animals are always cold.

That's why I joined a charity

dedicated to giving a new hairdo

and a warmer life to nature's lovable losers.

So give generously-- (Cat screeches)

- OW! IT'S ATTACKING ME! IT'S SCRATCHING!

- (Sobbing) - Oof. Right in the feels.

- So let me get this straight...

you gave your hair to a cat.

- Uh huh.

Just look at the chilly kitty that got my hair!

All: AWWWW!

- And I got a plaque that says I'm a good person.

- (Gasps) I wanna put my hair on a cat!

- Hey, I'm a good person too. Where's my plaque!

- My dentist says I have tons of plaque!

- First your hair's gotta be luxurious, like mine was.

- She thinks she can out-hair-DO Leshawna?

- I can't wait to cut off all my hair

so I can see my brains underneath!

- Of course I wanna help the kitties.

But what I'm really looking forward to,

is growing luxurious hair!

(Hair rustles in the wind)

- Ohhhh-Kay? Well, I can help all of you

get your hair good enough for the charity!

All: (Cheering) Woo hoo! Yeah!

- Okay! Mowing time!

Safety first. Gloves? Check.

Ear Protection? CHECK!

SAFETY GLASSES? CHECK!

(Engine revs) ALRIGHT. HERE WE GO!

- There! That's the last of the seeds.

- You really think this'll grow hair?

- Well, rich soil and moisture works for plants, right?

(singsong) Now who wants a driii-iiiink!

(Sputtering)

- OW! - O-kay. That's enough!

- So? Is our hair luxuriouser now?

- No. Just wetter and full of seeds!

- Oh! I bet we need fertilizer!

- No, No, Bridge! WAIT!

- What's a fertilizer?

- She's gonna put poop on our heads.

- But I don't want poop on my head!

- Okay, I know my gardening plan didn't work great,

but this plan CAN'T fail.

It's science!

Your bottles are filled with Hair-Gain:

a special drink clinically proven to grow hair.

- Is it made of poop too?

- No silly! Magic hair vitamins!

- Oh.

(Chugging)

(Belch)

(Gulping) - So?

- I am feeling... something.

- (Gasp) I feel it too!

Except not on my head. (Rumbling)

It's more in my... tummy?

- Oh no. I took the wrong bottles.

This is Mega-Lax.

It makes you--

(Alarm blares) All: (Groaning)

- I need to potty! - Get outta my way!

Owen: Look out! It's coming out like lava!

- OW!

(Sick groaning) - Sorry about the mix-up.

- Good thing everyone had backup pants, huh?

But I know this horseradish is gonna work.

- (Sniff) WHOA!

Come on, Bridgette. Now you're just messing with us.

- What? No! My dad says,

(dad voice) "eating horseradish puts hair on your chest".

So it should help grow it on your head too, right?

- Horseradish sounds fun!

Like a salad you can ride to the saloon!

(Gulps)

(Satisfied sigh)

(Gulps)

(Screaming, train whistles)

- MY FACE IS MELTING!

- (Flames whoosh) I'M ON FIRE!

(BOTH SCREAM)

- Wait! I thought you said to rub it on our chests!

(Disco music plays)

What's happening to me?!

I can't stop!

- Okay! One more idea to try.

- Well, this one better work!

- Yeah, I had almost NO fun pooping my pants.

- Waxing my chest really hurt

but it was the only way I could stop dancing!

- It's almost like you're trying to make us quit

so you can be the only one to help the freaky bald cats.

- No. I found a recipe on this Website for

(Intense whisper) The Almond Butter Amalgamation.

All: Whoaaaaaaaa.

- It says if you use this stuff,

you'll grow more hair than you know what to do with!

- And nothing gross this time, right?

I promise.

It just needs one last ingredient.

(Strains)

(Squirts)

- Okay guys! Scoop up a handful

and massage it into your head!

All: WHAT?!?

- I don't know, Bridgette.

How much skunk did you put in here?

Yeah! Cause when it comes to skunk spray

there's a fine line between too much and not enough.

- C'mon now, Bridgette knows what she's doing.

- Thank you, Leshawna.

- You should give it a stir,

just to sure it's mixed up really Well.

- Oh. Okay. I'll-Gah! - Oops.

(All gasp)

- (Screams) (Choking, coughing)

- Why would you do that?

- I just thought it was about time

she tested one of these remedies instead of--

WHOA... - Bridgette?

You're, um... You got, uh--

- Mirror. MIRROR!

(Music sting)

(Horrified scream)

- You guys don't mind if I eat

the rest of this almond butter, do you?

- Where'd she go?

- I can't believe it worked!

It's almost like Bridgette was trying to help us

the whole time! - I know.

I was wrong and I shouldn't have pushed her in.

We need to find her.

- She was so upset about being hairy.

Who knows what she's thinking.

- Wait! That's it!

To find a hairy kid

we gotta think like a hairy kid!

And I know just how we do it.

Ha. This isn't so bad after all!

- Marco! - Polo!

(Laughing)

- Wait... why are we in the overgrown yard?

It's the one place furry creatures feel at home.

Bridgette must be here.

- Speaking of big furry creatures?

- Oh no.

- I will hug you and love you

and I call you... Stuarts.

- (Gasp) Bigfoot's got her!

And his English is way gooder!

- For his birthday I got him online English classes.

- We have to save her.

- Ummm... - Oohhh.

- I know it's scary,

but we're talking about Bridgette here!

She just spent all day trying to help us!

- Yeah, except I don't think

Bigfoot's just gonna hand her over.

- You're right, Owen. But luckily,

I happen to have... the perfect plan.

All: (Yelling) HEY! Hey Bigfoot! Over here!

- More friends!

I will hug you and love you and call you...

Stuarts!

- Okay, Izzy, what's the next part of your rescue plan.

- That was it. I can't believe it didn't work.

(Pained grunts)

- Were you trying to rescue me?

Aww, that's so sweet.

- I'm so sorry, Bridgette.

I realize now that you were just trying to help us,

help those ugly cats.

- It's okay.

- Hey, do you guys hear something?

(Mower rumbles)

All: (Gasp) Chef! HELP! HELP!

- He can't hear us.

- We need to get his attention.

- Owen! Throw the almond butter!

- NO. Uh huh.

I will never let you have--

- AGH!

Kids, what are you doing out here?

Did you do something different with your hair?

- Yes. Now get us outta heeeeeere!

- (Gasp) is that... Bigfoot?

- Yes.

- Bigfoot! You're on school property!

Leave now, or you're going down.

(BATTLE CRIES)

(Flames whoosh, engine revs)

(Battle cries)

(Yelps and fighting grunts) (Mower whirs)

(Yelping)

All: Whoa.

- Might have got carried away there.

Congratulations kids!

Because of you, there are a lot of warm

and happy kitties out there today!

- We donated so much hair,

there are no more hairless cats!

(Cheering)

- But what will Lilith O'Doherty do now?

- Oh! She's got a new charity.

- Hi. I'm Lilith O'Doherty.

And I'm here to ask you to help

some of my special friends...

Bald Bigfoots.

These gentle giants--

Hey, whoa-whoa-whoa, Easy big fella. HEY!

- I will hug you and love you

and I will call you... Stuart.

- PLEASE SEND HELP! NOW! HELLLLLLLLP! (Static)

- Who wants to grow more hair?

- I don't want to do that. - No way!

Brigitte: Guys? Guys?

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪