02x51 - The A-Bok-Bok-Bokalypse

[bunniefuu]

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Chef: Owen? Owen: Here!

Chef: Izzy? Izzy: You betcha!

- Noah? - Present.

- Gwen?

- Does it matter any of us are here

given human existence is futile?

(Shudders) Dark.

Harold? Harold?!

- That's weird.

Harold has perfect attendance. I hope he's okay.

(Concerned chatter) Yeah, what happened to Harold?

- Ah, don't worry, kids.

Harold could be absent for all sorts of reasons.

He could be stuck in the bathroom...

- (Gasps, whimpers) - Fallen down a well.

Or kidnapped by the creepy things

that roam in the basement!

(Phone rings) Hello...

yes, I noticed Harold is...

Hold on. Did you say... chicken pox?!

- Chef? Is Harold okay?

Hello Chef, are you there?

- Chicken p-p-p-p-p...

- Oof!

Computer voice: Engaging decontamination protocol

omega beta delta salami one.

(Alarm blares) (Water rushes)

(Gloves snap)

Have a good day.

- Nothing to worry about kids.

Everything's under control.

- The way he said that makes me think

everything's not under control.

(Spray spritzes, twinkles)

- We just have to take precautions

because chicken pox is very contagious.

But everybody just stay calm.

(Scratching sounds)

♪ Ta da da da!

- Cody's infected! Everybody panic!

(Screaming)

- What does infected mean?

- Not to worry, kids.

We'll just keep Cody quarantined in my office

and the rest of you will be fine.

- Bye Cody!

- Just don't touch anything he touched!

(Scratching sounds)

Agh! (Gulp)

- Ew! - Ugh!

- What? Some things are worth the risk--

Ohhhhhhh no.

Still worth it!!!!!

- What's chicken pox? - Isn't it obvious?

It's called chicken pox.

If you get the virus,

it gives you those itchy red bumps.

That's where the feathers poke through.

And before you know it, you're a chicken!

Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo!

Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo!

- (Frightened gasps) - Dude!

- Izzy, that is not a chicken.

- It is where I come from.

- So the chickens are behind the pox?

What've we ever done to those guys?

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- Oh right.

- Uh... Noah? What're you doing?

- Who? Me? Nothing! Ha!

- Chef! Noah's turning into a chicken.

- Noah!

- Whaaat? No! No, I'm fi-! I need to -hey! Wait!

Nooooo! I-- (Itch grunt)

I don't wanna be a chicken! Arrrrgh!

- Kids are dropping like flies!

What're we going to do?

(Pigeon coos)

- We're gonna track those chickens down

and ruffle some feathers.

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- How do you track a chicken?

- I found a feather!

- We must be on the right track.

- Let's ask that guy if he knows anything.

(Pigeon coos)

- (Nonchalant whistling)

Excuse me, sir. Have you seen a chicken?

(Pigeon coos)

- I knew there was something off about that guy.

(Calling) We've got a runner!

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(Growls)

- Ahhhh!

(Pigeon coos)

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- Hyah! (Splash)

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(Calling whistle)

(Love struck music) - Coo coo coo coo coo!

Coo coo coo!

(Thud)

Works every time.

(Rock guitar riff plays)

(Light clicks on)

Who do you work for?!

Where were you on the night in question?!

And how do you know the victim?!

- Maybe it's time we gave up?

It seems like he really doesn't know anything.

- You're probably right.

Pigeon? You're free to go.

(Pigeon coos)

But before you do...

does this french fry belong to you?!

No? Okay.

(Hart pounding)

(Record scratches) Okay, okay!

(Sighs) The high counsel chickens hired me

to keep an eye on yous, kids.

All: (Gasp)

- Was that so hard?

- And what about the chicken pox?!?

- Chicken pox? I don't know nothin' about no chicken pox.

- Where do we find the ones that do?

- Oh, no. N-n-no I-I-I can't say nothin' 'bout dat.

The things they'd do ta me if they evah found out

I talked--(rrr)

(mouth-full) Okay, so what you wanna do is

head down to - mmm - th an' Gabagool Ave.

Yous is gonna find a chicken joint there -

mmm this is a good fry- but don't go inside;

no you want... (swallows)

the bucket.

Let's roll!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa-whoa!

Yous can't just leaves me twistin' in the wind here!

I needs ta be in witness protection!

- Ugh. Fine.

- Oh hey. This is purrrrfect!!

Heh. Pleasure doin' business wit you, kids!

- It's not the weirdest thing I've ever seen.

- I need more oatmeal, Chef!

- Owen, put the oatmeal compress on your skin.

Don't eat it!

- But my insides aren't itchy

and it's just so delicious!

- More back-scratcher over here please, Chef.

(Scratching sounds)

- Make it stop!!!!

- Get - offa - me!

(Gasps)

- Oh, no.

- This must be the place!

- You really think they're headquartered here?

- It's the last place I'd look for a chicken.

One that hasn't been deep fried, anyway.

Nerdy kid: Can I take your order?

- We're here to see the chicken high council!

- (Static, Laughs)

What's the password, human?

- Um. (Thinking) Hm...

Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo!

- Yeah, correct!

Take the elevator to the th floor.

(Elevator dings)

- You changed the password?

- Well, the old one was too hard.

Everyone kept forgetting it.

(Scratching sounds) - Eeeee!!!

Gwen: I've always wondered what's inside these buckets.

- Humans? In the royal bucket?

What is the meaning of this?!

(Buckawk)

Why, I have half a mind to turn you into a ten piece meal!

- Try me, lady.

I eat birds like you for breakfast.

Well, the ones in eggs, anyway.

- (Shocked gasps)

(Talking over each other)

- Stopppppp!

What are we doing, chicken dudes?

And... little girl dudes?

Sure, humans and chickens have been feuding for centuries...

- We have?

- But don't you know that hate only breeds more hate?

I bet, if we talked this out,

we'd find we have more in common than you think!

Because deep down,

aren't we all a little chicken sometimes?

(Clapping)

(All Clapping)

- Silence!

You speak eloquently, young human.

But why have you infiltrated our royal coop

if not with ill intent?

To be honest, yer majesty,

we were kinda hoping you'd ix-nay

the whole chicken pox thing?

- (Confused reactions)

- Pardon me?! I assure you, child,

we have nothing to do with these 'pox' of which you speak.

- But then why were you spying on us?

- Because you kids have become the biggest thr*at

to chicken-kind since the advent of the nugget!

(Concerned clucking)

- Strangely, we have had a lot of altercations

with chickens lately.

- Don't get me wrong.

We've done some evil stuff.

The market crash of '. Corn relish. Rap-rock.

- Rap-rock?!? You monsters!!!

- But we chickens deeply resent

being associated with that awful, itchy disease.

The good news is that chicken pox

only lasts a few days in children.

Both: Phew!

- So this whole mission was pointless.

Much like life itself.

- Whoa. Dark.

Anyhoo, we've developed a lotion

to help with the itching.

It comes in three soothing flavours:

barbecue, ranch and blue cheese.

(Concerned clucking)

Blue cheese is the least popular.

Take the lotion and never speak of this meeting to anyone.

You do not want to cross the chickens.

(Buckawk!)

- Wow! Thanks!

- No! N-n-n-no! Yous gots the wrong guy!

I'ze just a dumb old cat!

Meowwwww! See?

No, no, no, not the batter!!!

- Okay, then, I guess we'll be on our way.

But wait, where's Jude?

- Buk buk bugawwwwwk...

- Whoa, Jude! You got it bad!

- Don't worry, girls. I've finally found my people.

I'm going to live here with the chickens... forever.

(Concerned clucking)

- But Jude! We just learned

chicken pox only lasts for a few--

- A-ta-ta-ta-ta... I've made my decision.

Buh-kay?

Owen: (Sounds of relief) ohohohoh...

This feels soooo good! (Fart)

- Owen, you're over the chicken pox,

you don't need the lotion anymore.

- I don't?!? Awesome!!!

(Slurping)

- (Retches)

- (Slurping)

- Mmm mmm! Those chickens are missing out!

- (Licks) Mmm-mmm!

- Boy, am I glad things are back to normal around here.

(Music sting)

Buk buk bugawwwwwk!

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