03x08 - Sugar & Spice & Lightning & Frights

[bunniefuu]

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- Oooooooooooooh, kids!

I got a big surprise for you.

- Oohh! We're getting pizza for breakfast?

- Nope. - Is it my birthday?

- Who knows. - You finally got fired?

- (Laughing) - Nice one.

- I wish I got fired.

- Just tell us! We've got lives to live!

- Huh? Who're they?

- Surrrprise! New students!

Meet Lightning and Sugar.

Sugar, would you like to introduce yourself

or are you too shy for that.

- Hi y'all. I'm Sugar,

and I'm whatcha might call a country girl.

So I know a thing or two about ridin' pigs

and milkin' donkeys.

But my real passion...

is winning pageants.

And YES, I have been on the TV.

- Like on the TV screen...

or just sitting on a TV?

- On the TV screen, silly.

- Whoa. - Cool.

- Y'all probably seen it.

Commercial for Carl's Critter Ridders?

I sang that catchy song,

don't ask me to sing it now though cause--oh fine.

(Snaps fingers) Two, three, four...

(Lights click on)

♪ Oh, If you gotta critter ♪

♪ You need to get ridder ♪

♪ Give us a call, we'll squish 'em all ♪

- And that's enough of that.

Now, how about you Lightning?

- Save the best for last. I'm Lightning!

And Lightning has one simple dream.

To be the greatest.

- Um, the greatest... what?

- Football star. Astronaut.

Superhero. Sea Monster.

Barber Shop Quartet.

The greatest EVERYTHING!

- Wow. You sound motivated.

- YES! Being motivated is the key!

You're a smart kid.

- (Chuckle) Noooo.

That's Cody.

- Pfft. This Lighting guy is a little full of himself, huh?

- What's the matter?

Feeling a little threatened, top dog?

- I like him. - Yep,

and with Sugar's pageant experience,

her and I will blow the roof off the talent show this year.

- The trick is to believe in yourself. Watch.

Ah...

Ha! - Wooo! Whoa.

- You're handsome-- I, I mean awesome.

- Uh huh. And you can be awesome too.

You just gotta believe yourself.

- UGH! BAR-ARRRRRRRRRF.

- What's that, Duncan?

- I said, wanna see something really awesome?

Look, Cody. Shiny!

- Prettyyy... - (Duncan laughs)

- (Gasps)

♪♪♪

- You okay, Cody?

- Wow. I've never been defended before.

- Not cool, dude. Not cool.

- I've worked very hard to get

to the top of the "dude" chain here.

No way am I letting this Lightning kid steal my thunder.

Ugh. I sound like a weather man.

You think you're cooler than me?

- No. - Heh. Hear that?

- I know I am.

- Ooooohhhhh. - Burn!

- Oh yeah? No.

No you aren't! I'm the cool! Coolest.

I--You--That's it.

I challenge you... to a COOL OFF!

All: WHOAA!

- I don't know what that is, but I accept.

All: WHOAAAAA!

- Starting now!

- It's a cool off! - IT'S A COOL OFF!!

- Hey, Sugar. I'm an amazing singer,

dancer, and actor too.

Maybe you and I could work together on something.

- Perfect. You can be my understudy.

- Yes! I was thinking we'd--

Wait.

Understudy? Me? No.

Wow--just no.

You see, when there's a show I am always the sta--

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

You're wearing MY tiara.

- Oh, it was here with all the other costumes

so I figured it belonged to everyone.

- That's right, Sugar, the costumes belong to everyone.

Does this apple make my legs look twiggy?

I'll check in the mirror.

- Yes. Technically we share the costumes,

but everyone knows the tiara is mine. So...

Thanks.

- Well, if it's technically a shared item,

maybe I'll have a turn.

- Okay, you might've been on TV before,

but this place only has one Queen and that's...

Both: ME!

- Stop this. - Don't you--

- Give me--

- Look out for that wild turkey!

- (Gasps) AHHH!

- HA! You're the turkey. Bye bye!

(Watch ticking)

- TIME'S UP!

Now we get to judge which of you

made the coolest sunglasses and won the cool off.

Duncan, show us what you've got!

(Motorcycle engine revs)

- Whoa! - SWEET!

- THAT'S gonna be tough to b*at.

- That's what you call a SLAM DUNCAN!

- Lightning, you're up.

- Huh?

- Hiding a face this beautiful with sunglasses

wouldn't be cool... at all.

- He's right! - And SO cool.

- WHAT!? - With an incredible bold move,

Lightning wins the cool off!

- ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

NO! Best two out of three!

(Thud, pained groan)

Harold: Street Art Challenge!

- You're in my house now.

SLAM DUNCAN FOR REAL!

- For real sad.

- (Gasp) It's beautiful!

- Yes I am. And I painted it on a canvas

because defacing school property isn't cool.

- It's official, Lightning wins the--

- Best three out of five!

- Sure. This is a fun game.

- IT'S NOT A GAAAME!!!

(Can clangs, pained groan)

♪ Tea for me ♪

♪ And none for you ♪

♪ I ate a bee ♪

♪ Because it flew into my mouth ♪

(Reel whirs)

♪ And then went south into my gut ♪

♪ And then out my--♪ What--HEY!

- Byeeeee!

- Okay the next event is a--

Owen: Stop! Leave me alone!

It's just peanut butter!

Won't somebody help me!

- Hey, squirrel! Pick on someone your own size!

(Squirrel chitters)

- Final challenge: whoever catches the squirrel

wins the cool off!

- That's not fair, Duncan,

Lightning has won every challenge so far.

- It's all good. I'm in.

- IT'S WINNER TAKES ALL.

(Squirrel chitters)

(Bush rustles) - Argh!

- Almost had him. - Where'd it go?!

There he is! - Wow, he's fast!

- YES! I'm the coolest!

I caught the squirrel! SEEEEEE? - (Komodo dragon whimpers)

- That's a squirrel?

- Yeah... it just got hot from running around

and took off its coat... (Komodo dragon whimpers)

My victory still counts!

- That is a baby Komodo dragon.

- A dragon? Whoa.

Now that is cool.

(Licks) - Mama?

- It appears to think Duncan is its mother.

Good thing it's real mother isn't around.

- Why's that?

(ROARRRRR!!!) All: AAAAAAAAAAH!!!

(Hard clang)

- Get out of them vents and gimme that tiara!

- AHHH! - OOF!

- YAAAAAASSSS!

- Get back here!

All: AAAAAAAAAH! (ROARRRRR!!!)

- Why is it still chasing us? - If I had to guess,

it's because you're still holding its baby!

- Pfft, like I didn't know that!

(Wheels squeak)

- Oh... hello. - (ROARRRRR!!!)

- OOF!

AHHHHHHHH!

- HAHA! We're in the clear now.

(Car stops) - What is wrong with you?

Don't you know the coolest thing you can be is a hero?

I'm comin', Cody!

- There goes the coolest guy ever.

- D'ya think he'll autograph my lunch?

- UGH! New challenge:

Whoever saves Cody wins!

- (Snarling)

- Hey Lightning! Over here!

I'm open!

- Nice catch... but look out!

- AHHHHHH!

Lightning! Go long!

♪♪♪

- I got it!

(Gasps) I don't got it!

- HIIIIDE!

- (ROARRRR!)

(High-pitched) - NOOOOOOO!

GIT AWAY, IT'S MINE!! - Get back here!

- (Landing thud) Oof!

(Ding)

- Waaaay to gohhh.

Now that ugly green donkey's wearin' it!

- Look, I gotta plan on how to get the tiara back.

But I'm gonna need a partner...

- Fine, but when we get it back

we share it fifty-fifty.

Deal? - Deal.

(Engine rumbles)

(Lasso whooshes)

(Groans)

(Tires screech) - Got it!

YEEEEEEHAWWWWW!

(Fighting thuds)

- Not bad.

- That was the coolest thing I've ever seen.

- You two totally win the cool off!

Both: WHAT!?

- Pfft. We coulda done that.

- Heck yeah we coulda.

- Take it away, Carl!

- Wait. What about its baby? We gotta find it.

- ♪ La la la la la La-la-la la-la ♪

- IZZY! - Fiiiiine.

(Doors slam, engine rumbles)

- Now everything can get back to normal around here.

- It sure can.

- NO, you don't! Gimme it!

I get to wear it first! - (Snap!)

Both: (Gasp)

- This ain't over.

- Not by a long sh*t.

- Kids! Come quick.

I filled my pants with cereal and the tub with milk.

Let's see if I can float!

(Excited giggle) All: Yeeaaaahhhhh!

- This place is super weiiird.

- Yeah, but it can't be like this every day.

- (Laughter)

It's like this every day.

Chef: Oh no! I'm sinking!

More cereal, more cereal!

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