03x17 - A Hole Lot of Trouble

[bunniefuu]

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(Lightning blows a whistle)

- On your feet, carpet potatoes!

Time for a game!

The game upon which all other games are based.

- Wind surfing?!

- Hitting things with a hammer?!

- Mahjong?! Snot Tag?! Cow Patty Bingo?!

- CATCH!

(Music sting)

(Disappointed groans) - Boring.

- I'll play! I love ball catch.

You can throw it at someone's head as hard as you want

and if they miss, it makes a funny noise when it hits them!

"THWA-TONGK!" (Laughs)

- Okay. Who else wants in? Courtney?

- I'm actually doing a study on catch

and the unspoken hierarchy of who throws to whom.

It's fascinating.

- Is that a yes? - It is.

- Awesome. We just need one more.

Someone quick n' slick. Cody?

- (Muffled talking, toy squeaks)

(Spits) Cody is my name!

Do I get to be the player? 'Cause usually I'm the ball.

- There's a lot to unpack there,

but I meant as a player. C'mon!

- Yay!

(Lightning strikes)

-Oh no! - Why are the clouds crying?

- TELL US WHO MADE YOU SAD!

- (Groans)

Well, I guess catch is out.

- We can still play. We'll just have to play inside.

- Play? Inside? With a ball?!

- Sure. What's the worst that could happen?

- Board of education rule C-H

states all indoor activi--

- Zippity zonk-donk, Courtney.

I got this. One worst case scenario, comin' up!

We're playing inside and it's working great,

like gettin' a monkey to take medicine

by stuffin' it into a banana.

♪♪♪

- Think fast, Courtney!

- Heads up, Cody! - Catch, Mr. Bear!

(Thuds, slicing sounds)

Izzy: And then the obvious happens.

(Splat) - DUUUDE! I can't seeeeeeee.

- Atomic Butt-splosion hot sauce.

One drop could burn a hole in the sun.

- Ahhhhh!

(Gulping) - Uh, sorry, dude.

- Anyone have a lighter?

- (Stomach rumbles) (Big fart)

(Flames whoosh) - That'll work.

(Fireworks sizzle, pop)

- Oh crud! (KABOOM)

- (Squeaking)

BOOGER MAN!

AAAAH! OOF!

Izzy: And just like that...

a hole in...the drywall!

(Dramatic music sting)

Face it. It's inevitable.

- Okay, I don't see how that--

- INEVITABLE!

- Yeah, I woulda passed to a stuffed animal.

- But what if I stood in front of the wall

and protected it? - (As-if chuckle)

We all know how that would play out.

- Lightning this, Lightning that.

Time for me to be a hero again.

- I'm Courtney and I always have something to prove!

I'll protect the wall from Cody!

- AHHHHHHH!

(Smash) (All groan)

- That is not what I would say or do.

- It is exactly what I would say and do!

Whoa. I guess an indoor game is doomed.

- Oh please! This school has been blown up times.

What's so scary about a hole in the drywall?

- Oh, I'll tell you,

but you might wanna borrow one of Cody's socks

so you have something to scream into.

- Ew. No.

And as President I will end climate change

and increase rainbows by %.

Just look at my lame graphs!

(Audience applauds)

- She couldn't even prevent a hole in the drywall.

(Audience gasps in shock) - Ahhh!

(Tomatoes splat)

But I need to be President.

My entire life is... wait.

Why am I getting upset? This isn't even real.

- Isn't it? - No. It's not.

- Are you willing to gamble your future Presidency on that?

- What if we came clean to Chef

and told him we were really sorry?!

- Too little too late, sister!

That hole is on your...

PERMANENT RECORD!

- AHHHHHH!!!

- Couldn't we just hide the hole?

- Yes! Hide it! Deny everything!

That's what a President would do!

- BOOM! Cody's a genius.

There are tons of ways to hide a hole.

- Sure, let's put that bad idea in the toaster

and see what pops up...

- (Humming)

Why's my car inside?!

- I am unable to lie when asked a direct question

by an authority figure!

We're using your car to hide a hole we put in the drywall.

- What about that hole?!

- Oh darn. He noticed the much larger hole.

Izzy: Next, we'd try to hide the hole

by putting up a beautiful beach poster.

- There. No one will spot it now. It's perfect.

Izzy: But the problem is it's too perfect.

- Surf's up, dudes! (Laughing)

Let's ride some waves!

- Wait guys! I wanna swim too!

(Thud) OOF! (Pained groan)

- I am upset by this small hole.

Izzy: Last, we try to hide the hole by putting

a bookshelf in front of it.

And that's when the rats at the daycare learn to read.

- (Happy groan)

- WHAT?! Reading rats?!

- Why is that a bad thing?

- Stop inter-rupting and I'll tell you.

(Lasers blast, explosions)

- (Hushed) But how did the rats learn to read

and take over the world?

(expl*si*n)

- (Gasps) Did you play catch inside?!

- So no matter what we do Chef will find out?

- Um, yeah, I just proved that.

- None of this is proof.

- You can't handle the proof!

- But it's just a little hole.

Will Chef really be mad about it?

- (Mocking) Will Chef be mad at it?!

Let. Me. Answer. That. - Ow. Ow. Ow.

- For. You. Lightning.

He'd punish us in all kinds of ways.

- Timeout forever! (Door slams)

Catapult time! All: AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

- Punishment CAKE!

(Cake splats)

- Ah! OW! - (Snapping)

- OUCH! - OOOH

Chef: Moon jail!

Everybody out!

- But there's no air!

- You shoulda thought of that

before you put a hole in the drywall.

(Engines rumble)

- Wow. According to school policy

those are all standard punishments.

- Hold up! What if we just fix the hole ourselves?

- YES! - Oooooh.

Izzy: (Laughs) Fix it ourselves?

(Laughs) You really think--(Laughs)

- What's so funny?!

- You think it's easy to fix a hole?!

- Sha-Ya I do.

With Lightning's skills, Cody's brains

and Courtney's... participation,

we can do anything!

- Excuse me?! I'm the smart one.

- Courtney, shugh-shushies.

C'mon, brain, do your thinking.

- Let me tell you what it takes to fix a hole in drywall,

and then you can tell me how eeeeasy it sounds!

You start by playing a kazoo

to summon the space squid that lives on Venus.

(Big inhale, Kazoo plays)

And when it comes, it comes hungry.

(Roars)

- I'm unvisible!

Izzy: The only way to stop it from eating us

is by feeding it a grilled cheese sandwich.

After eating it, his lactose intolerance kicks in

and the spacesquid sneezes out a mound of GOO.

(Splats)

Then we have to sift through that goo to find a key.

And Cody.

Ahem, I said, we will need to sift through the goo

to find a key. You too, Izzy.

(Grossed out) Ew!

(Goo sloshes)

There, was that so bad?

Next we use the key to open a door any door.

(Energy hums)

But it turns that door into a portal!

And we get sucked in!

All: Ahhh!

- We end up on an island as teenagers!

- Lightning looks good.

Izzy: You're forced to compete

in a horrible reality TV game show.

- It's time for TOTAL! DRAMA! SOMETHING?!

Are you ready teams?

- Hi, I'm Cody.

- First team to dive into the shark infested waters

and grab the immunity idol wins.

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(Water splashes)

- Hiiiii, I'm a shark.

- He seems nice.

- Word of warning:

Being eaten by a shark will be painful,

but it wouldn't hurt the ratings at all.

(Chuckles)

All: AAAAAAAAAHHHH!

(Splash)

Izzy: We get the immunity idol!

All: Alright! YA! WOOO!

Oh no! AHHH! SHARK! SHA-NO!

Izzy: But then we get eaten by a whale.

Then all we have to do is use the magical chicken feather -

which I forgot to mention earlier,

but is totally a thing -

to tickle the roof of the whales mouth.

The whale will sneeze

and sh**t us out of the blowhole.

And we'll land right in a hardware store

where we trade the immunity idol for a can of plaster.

- Okay, one can of plaster which, again,

you coulda just bought for $.,

and skipped all that other stuff.

Izzy: Then, with the plaster - and a magic trowel

we found in a dragon's kidney - DON'T ASK -

we can finally fix the hole in the wall.

But we realize we have no idea how.

And the only person we can ask is Chef.

And that is the worst case scenario.

So... you still wanna play ball inside?

Hey! It stopped raining. We can play outside.

- No thank you. - Too scary.

- Yeah, even Lightning is out.

- C'mon. What's the worst that could happen?

- Whoa-oa-oa!

(Smash) UGH! (All gasp)

- And here we go.

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