03x34 - Aches and Ladders

[bunniefuu]

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Noah: CHEFFFFF!

Chef, the sky is falling! The sky is fall--

(Squirts)

- Oh. Wow. Okay. Um, sorry,

yeah, I can see you're busy with uh,

whatever this is. (Squirts)

- It's cool, brah! Mi casa, es su casa!

- Did you just call me, brah?

- Totes, amigo!

I'm bingeing all seasons

of my favorite show "Beach Judge",

so I was headed out for some sun therapy

before the finale.

- I... have no idea what you're talking about.

- You've never heard of "Beach Judge"?!

It's the th highest rated beach themed court show

on basic cable!

- All rise.

In the case of The People vs. Moondog McShredmeister,

this court finds the defendant...

GNARLY! (Gavel bangs)

(Surf music)

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(Shuts TV off, TV whirs)

- Okay. But I think you should come see--

- UGH!! Finnnne.

Let's stop watching the coolest show ever

so we can go deal with your "biiiiig emergency".

(GASPS)

(Panicked screaming, hard metal clangs)

- Whoa. I always thought those were made of cardboard.

Okay Chef,

what would Beach Judge do in this situation?

(Slices) - Bearrry! NOOO!

- I better call somebody.

(Line rings, unclear chatter)

Yes, hello, I have a bit of an issue

with my decorative clouds--

- Cloud House Emergency Cloud Repair at your serv--

HOLY MOLLY! You were right to call.

- I'd hate to see a kid get hurt.

(Hushed) Cause I stopped paying for insurance two years ago.

- What? Don't you know cloud related accidents

are the number one cause of in-home injuries world wide!

- Hey, uh, while you're here,

do you think you can turn Mr. Sun's frown upside down?

- Ugh! No!

I didn't do four years at Cloud College

to work on (disgusted) suns, pal.

Anyway, I forgot my ladder at the shop.

So I'll go grab it and then I'll get started.

- W-W-W-Wait! I've got an important, um,

meeting to get to.

If you can use my ladder

and keep an eye on these nerds for the afternoon,

I'll throw in pudding cups.

- pudding cups? What do I look like, a child?

- pudding cups?

- DEAL! (sotto) Sucker.

- Great! I'll go grab the ladder.

(Rope creaks, metal clangs)

- Phew! That was a close one!

(Kids shout and laugh playfully)

- Guys! GUYS!

There's a woman on a ladder here;

maybe we could be a bit more careful?

(Pig squeals)

- Sure thing, Courtney.

Just lemme catch Petunia.

(to pig) C'mere you!

- Yeah, no chance this ends badly.

- Surf Chef!

Dropping in on a wave of justice.

(Loud thud) Macarthur: (Pained cry)

NOW WHAT?

Ugh. Better go check it out.

HOLLERIN' HODAD! WHAT HAPPENED?

- (Pained groan) Doctor! I need a doctor!

- Oh for sure;

looks like you had a totally gnarly wipeout!

But first...

Surf Chef's got a case to solve.

(Surf guitar riff)

- What? Call an ambulance, you maniac!

- Not 'til the justice of the beach prevails.

If you wanna shred the gnar gnar,

you gotta be ready to get worked by the washing machine.

- No-one-knows-what-you're- say-ing.

And there is no crime here, it was an accident.

- Oh I'll be the judge of that!

(Surf music)

- What is happening right now?

Cody: Court is now in session.

The horrible Judge Chef... perspiring.

- That's Judge Surf Chef.

- Rrrright.

So, your Honour, before calling our first defendant,

I would like to enter into evidence... Exhibit A.

- What is wrong with you people? I need a doctor!

- The court will take that under advisement.

Proceed, brah.

- (Exasperated sigh) If it pleases the court,

the People call... Sugar to the stand.

Miss Sugar, is it fair to say

your agricultural lifestyle

has caused significant injuries in the past?

- Today for "show and tell",

I brought my new mule, Kenny.

- Nice to meet you, Ken- Eeeeeee... OOF!

- Life on the farm can be dangerous.

- It certainly can.

Dangerous like the wild pig you brought to class

who knocked the poor Cloud Fixer off her ladder?!

- That's "Cloud Repair Technician".

Please call .

- Petunia didn't hurt nobody!

- That's a double negative -

meaning Petunia DID hurt someone!

Nothing further, your Honour.

- A pig was in class. True.

BUT the pig did not cause the fall.

- ...be a bit more careful?

(Pig squealing)

- C'mere you!

Gotcha! Oh, poor bacon-chop,

was just hungry.

Let's go find ya a snack.

(Loud thud) Macarthur: (Pained cry)

- Now if you would follow me

I would like to enter into evidence...

Exhibit B.

Sugar and her pig couldn't have caused the fall

because they were in the kitchen...

the whole time.

All: (Gasp)

(Burps)

- MY LUNCH! (Crying)

Wipeout. (Crying)

- Nothing further, your Honour.

- Next to the stand the people call... Owen.

- Present!

- Now then, Mr. Owen,

is it not true that your weakness

for "popped corn" tends to cause "accidents"

around the school?

- Today's snack is a big surprise.

I bought us a real POPCORN MACHINE!

- M'Stuck!

Can't... move...

- OWEN! WHY?!

Okay, let's see if I can get you out of--

(Rumbling) It's gonna blow!

Everybody runnnn! (expl*si*n)

- Anything to confess?

- Popcorn is yummy?

- True. But you know what isn't 'yummy'?

The wanton disregard for public safety you showed

by running around eating popcorn

and causing MacArthur's fall!

- Ah yes, popped corn.

Usually a delicious and healthy snack.

Not today though... was it, Owen?

Because today Owen sniffed out the bag

of heavily buttered movie popcorn

that he hid in the dollhouse...

eight months ago.

(Kids shout and laugh playfully)

- GUYS! There's a woman on a ladder here!

- (Giggling)

(Stomach rumbles) Uh oh... POOP-corn!!

(Loud thud) MacArthur: (Pained cry)

- If you follow me, I'll show you... Exhibit C.

Owen can't be guilty because at the time of the fall

he was in Chef's private bathroom doing... this.

- (Horrified gasp) MY BATHROOM!!

- Nothing further, your Honour.

- All right, enough messing around.

ADMIT IT!

You love scaring people with fireworks

and causing them to fall from high places!

- Sure are a lot of toys up here.

- (Laughs)

(expl*si*n) (Chef screams)

(Smokey cough) - (Laughing)

- I've heard enough!

Time to hang ten on this case--

- WAIT! Your Honour,

I realize Duncan's track record might be a little...

spotty. (In unison) A little?

- But today, Duncan had other plans for his fireworks.

(Kids shout and laugh playfully)

- Hm, what to blow up today.

(Giggles)

(Loud thud) MacArthur: (Pained cry)

- Exhibit D!

All: (OOHS and AHHS)

(Fireworks pop and whistle)

- MY CAAARRR!

NOOOOOOOO!

- But if none of our usual suspects caused the fall,

then who did?

- Oh, that's the best part!

There's one last piece of evidence to log:

the cloud lady's boot!

- OW! Just take my boot off.

What is wrong with you people?!

- Notice anything curious?

- Whoa, dude!

There's like something super slippery on it!

(Sniffs) Is that coconut?

- But where would we find a slippery substance

that smells like coconut in a Daycare?

(Squirting) All: (Gasp)

- What?!

- (reads) Extra greasy coconut sunscreen!

- I finally put it together

when I remembered my visit to Chef's office this morning.

Chef! The sky is falling!

Chef was putting on SPF to watch a rd rate,

beach themed Courtroom Drama.

Then Chef carried his ladder into the room,

unknowingly smearing his greasy sunscreen on it.

So when MacArthur stepped up to the top...

(Loud thud) MacArthur: (Pained cry)

- The Defense... rests, your Honour.

- We, the jury, find Judge Chef,

like totally guilty

of causing this nice lady's fall

and we sentence him to do,

like a real deal apology.

- I'm... really sorry,

Miss Cloud Repair Lady.

I didn't mean for anybody to get hurt.

- I too have something to say...

CALL THE AMBULANCE!!!

- Judge Surf Chef finds your teacher guilty of being...

TOTALLY AWESOME!

(Surf music) (Gavel bangs)

- Come on, kids, let's go to my office

and watch the finale of "BEACH JUDGE"!!

(All cheer) YEAH! WOO-HOO!

- What? No. - I've got the popcorn!

- Wait... hey! (Whimpers) All: (Cheering)

- This place is the worst.

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