01x13 - Contagion

[bunniefuu]

- We found them just
outside the city walls,

Looking for a way in.

Hippo's checking
them out because they

Were acting kind of screwy.

- [scoffs]
raiders.

Why not make something
of your own for once,

Instead of raiding
your whole life?

You know what,
I'm gonna tell them that.

Watch their faces
as their entire

Life philosophy crumbles.

- Yeah, raiders are usually
pretty philosophical guys.

But these aren't raiders.

These are spies
from new scepsia.

- Spies?
Why didn't you say so?

That would mean someone wants
to see what we're doing.

Such a compliment.
- Uh--

- Do you think they
have good things to say?

Did they mention me
in particular?

No, don't tell me.
I want to go in fresh.

What do you wear
to meet captured spies?

- It doesn't matter.
- I'm so nervous.

Spies come to spy on my city.

I cannot wait
to meet these guys.

- What a weenie.

[dramatic lyre music]

♪ ♪

- And that's why
democracy is so important.

Here on krapopolis, instead
of being ruled by a king,

The people themselves rule
through a king.

- Wow, you just so clearly
have a passion for this stuff.

- Right?

You can feel it.
- Keep talking.

- You know,
you might not believe this,

But not everyone is
as interested as you are

In what I have to say.

- That's because
these people are sick.

- What?

No, it's not.
Sick how?

- Still figuring that out.

But whatever it is forces
them to pay attention

To other people's feelings.

They're incapable of
tuning out a point of view.

- No, that's ridiculous.

I'm sorry about my brother.
He's just--

- No, he's right.
- What?

- You're both right.
- You're both doing great.

- There you go.

They'll see anybody's
side of anything

Because there's something
wrong with them.

- It's worse than that.

It's called empathy.

I came as soon as I heard.

We have to k*ll
everyone who has it.

- Well, that seems
a little extreme.

- It's a biological w*apon,
tyrannis,

Created by the titan empathis.

It compels you
to understand others,

And it almost wiped out
the olympians during the w*r.

- That must have been so hard.

- If it's been passed down
to human offspring,

That means it's contagious.

Don't touch their tears.

- Ok, even if this
were a disease, which,

To be honest, I'm skeptical,
it sounds like one

We could all stand to get.

I mean, taking other people's
perspectives into account?

- No, I agree with mom.

It sounds bad.

But also sounds like
something I should study.

- Not in my city.

- I understand why
you have to do this!

- Hey!

- What is wrong with you?

- Take it up with
someone who cares.

Or don't.
They could be contagious.

I'm going to my temple and
sealing myself in

Until we're sure
it's contained.

- My mom.

[coughs]
oh, my god.

I can taste them burning.

- ♪ oh, the sunlight's
like beer ♪

♪ when you're drunk
through the year ♪

♪ and should anyone sneer ♪

♪ I'll say ♪

[armor clanking]

Oh, that's not good.

- Spartans?

- Yes, about a day out,
I'd say.

Quite ruined my
post-gangtug high.

- Well, stupe ought to be able
to handle them, though.

Right?
- These guys are 7 feet tall.

Their veins are made of carbon.

They're totally
devoted to m*rder--

To a heroic extent, really.

I mean, if you look at it
from their perspective--

- Whoa, whoa, hold on.

Look at it
from their perspective?

- Oh, man.

I see what you're getting at.

- When you arrested
those spies,

Did you get any
of their tears on you?

- Oh. Oh, I have it!

I have empathy.

And I get what
a big problem that is.

I'm trying to picture
fighting a w*r right now,

And I can't stop thinking
about those imaginary soldiers,

Their imaginary families,

And their imaginary dreams.

If I've got empathy
when the spartans get here,

They're gonna literally
eat us for lunch.

- All right,
just stay away, stupendous.

Try to keep the tears
inside your eye hole.

Dad, can you seal her away
somewhere or something

Until we figure out what to do?

- I understand.

I understand why
you have to do this.

And I respect it.
I respect you.

- Fantastic.
Very glad to hear it.

But please respect me
from over there.

I've got to talk to mom.

Mom, mother, let me in, please.

- Not until you prove
to me that you don't have it.

- Well, that's gonna be hard,
actually,

Because I'm naturally
pretty thoughtful

And take other people
into consideration by default.

But I guess I could try--

- No, that does it.

No one with empathy
could be so egotistical.

- Well, I'm glad you let me in.

But the reason infuriates me.

Stupendous has
contracted empathy.

- She has?

Oh, well, then
she's going to die.

- Come on.

How can somebody die
from empathy?

- The disease progresses,
tyrannis.

You don't just stop with seeing
eye to eye with your neighbor.

It ends with you feeling
so bad for your salad

That you end up
dying of exhaustion,

Trying to find a river
you won't pollute

By drowning yourself.

The olympians
that contracted it

Turned into things
like the north wind

And comfortable silence
between old friends.

Humans won't be able
to pull off that transition.

They'll just hang themselves
or starve!

- Is there a cure?

- Yes, a mushroom said
to grow in the feces

Of empathis herself.

Oh, but she's long gone,
d*ed in the w*r.

And all we are left with
is this awful disease.

- Titans had feces?

- That's the part you focus on?

- I just hadn't even
thought about it.

None of the stories about titans
had any reference to that.

- Do you want me
to include feces

In every story I tell you?

I'd rather assumed
it was an easy cut.

- All right, fine.
The mushrooms?

- The mushrooms, yes.

I don't know how likely
it is we'll find them.

But I don't want
to incinerate my daughter.

And I don't want to stay in
this death trap of a city.

So where did
the spies come from?

- New scepsia, I think.

- Then we go to new scepsia.

If nothing else, it's a lead.

- All right.
Let's save the city.

- Ok, you have to ask
before you do that.

Bird!

Ugh, I have to
be more specific.

Eagle!

[groans]
giant eagle!

Eagle that is big enough!

Stupid-- [screeches]

Time to put an end to empathy.

- Oof, don't love
the sound of that.

How about, let's go
find some poo mushrooms!

No? Ok.

Well, we'll work on it.

- So we find this cure.

We get stupendous
back in shape.

And we have a fighting chance
against these spartans.

- Spartans are the
least of your troubles.

- Yes, yes,
I know you say empathy

Is so incredibly dangerous.

But I still can't see how
it could possibly be--

Is this new scepsia?

- I believe it was.

You were saying?

- I don't understand.

How can empathy
be so destructive?

Perhaps I've been confusing it
with compassion,

The organically
occurring version

In human beings like myself.

- Except compassion isn't real.

It's a performance, something
that lazy humans made up

So they could get out
of the hard work

Of k*lling each other.

- You would think that,
wouldn't you?

Incapable as you are
of understanding

The natural human urge
to love one's neighbor.

- [screaming]
- ah, ah!

Get her off me.
Mom, help!

- He's so smart.
- Clearly.

- You're so smart.

- Look, no offense,
you guys,

That just doesn't mean
that much to me,

Given that you both
have a mind disease.

- I get it.
- Yeah, of course you do.

That's the problem.

- Spot of bad news, I'm afraid,

The spartans will be here
by lunch.

So I'd eat early.

- What?
You said a day!

- Apparently,
they've trained themselves

To March while sleeping.

- Damn it.
And stupe's compromised.

Well, at least we've got
empathy contained.

- Bad news on that front
as well.

It's getting awfully
nice out there.

- Mommy,
can we get bread today?

- I'm sorry.
We can't afford it.

- Ah, on the house.
- [gasps]

- Oh, god. Oh, no.

You're definitely not
a stone cold k*ller again now

By any chance, right?

Just got to triple check.

- I understand why you
would want me to be.

- [screams]

- It's too bad the spartans
don't have empathy.

That would simplify things.

- Say that again.
- From the beginning?

All right.

We heard you were starting
one of those newfangled cities.

I said this to ty.

- Huh?

No, just the last part.

What if this unstoppable
disease were the cure

To the unstoppable spartans?

Dad, hand me a bucket
for collecting tears.

Have I ever told either of you
guys how hard it was

To grow up with this guy
for a father?

[fake sobbing]

- What are we in the mood for,
boys?

The usual wanton destruction?

Or do we feel like
we want to get ugly?

[all chanting]
ugly, ugly, ugly!

- [laughs]
that's what I'm talking about.

[clicks, mist hissing]

- Welcome, spartans,
to krapopolis.

- It--

It seems like a great city.

- Well, thank you.
Do you really mean that?

- Yeah, I mean, to be honest,
we came here to r*pe

And enslave everyone that we
didn't just brutally m*rder,

But you guys would hate that,
wouldn't you?

- Oh, yeah. Definitely.

- Doesn't appeal, I'm afraid.

- And that makes perfect sense.

You certainly didn't do
anything to deserve it.

We've been here for,
like, 10 seconds,

And everybody just seems
to be really nice people.

- It's so nice.
- Yeah, I can't believe it.

- It's really nice here.

- Well,
make yourselves at home.

- Thank you.
- Sir.

Permission to speak, sir.

- Go ahead.

- I understand why you had
to take me from my parents

At age seven and raise me
in a brutal spartan gulag,

Deprive me of food,
and ritually flog me every day.

It's a tough world out there.

- Thank you.

- Yeah!
- Whoo-hoo!

- Well, what do you know?

It worked.

Crisis averted.

- [grunts] oh.

Mmm.

- Forget the crisis.

I think we may have just turned
these highly trained

k*lling machines into highly
trained helping machines.

This might even be fun.

- Ok, that woman clearly
didn't have empathy.

- But yours,
on the other hand, inspiring,

The way you begged me
to k*ll her.

- I didn't beg you to--

I mean, I did,
but I was panicking.

She was trying to k*ll me.

You obviously don't have
to care about someone

Who's trying to k*ll you.
- I see.

So help me
understand the rules.

You don't have to care
if they're k*lling you.

What if they're
stealing your food?

- Well, you wouldn't have
to care as much, I suppose.

- What if they're tall?

- Screw tall people.

They've already had
everything handed to them.

Anyway, it doesn't
change the fact

That we humans
really do prioritize

Each other's happiness
above our own.

And that's one power we have
that you lack.

Oh, thank goodness.

I am parched.

- Don't drink that water!

Look, that fish
is trying to feed itself

To that starving bear.

And the bear feels bad
for not eating it.

- There's empathy in the water?

A river of tears.

- But who could be
crying that much?

Unless-- oh, no, empathis.

- That's the titan
who tried to k*ll

You all with empathy
during the w*r

But you k*lled her instead?

- Or thought we had.

This isn't a mushroom-picking
mission, tyrannis.

It's a titan-k*lling one.

- You guys are so strong.

Look at me.

I can barely get around.

- No. What?

All we're good at
is k*lling people,

Tearing out their esophaguses,
you know, that kind of thing.

You've made so much
out of nothing.

- Come on.

I can't even pick up
crates at the dock

I need brought to my lab.

- Well, we could do that.
Which crates?

- Really?

- Well, pretty much,
if you see a crate at the dock,

You can bring it up to my lab.

- Excited to help.
Spartans, assist!

- I'm not exactly preoccupied
with the feelings of others.

But I wonder whether you might
be taking it a smidge too far.

- You sure you
aren't infected, dad?

[laughs]

- [laughs drily]
- whew.

All right, I'm gonna go
exploit them some more.

It's fun that there's
a risk of consequences.

- Yes.

- You guys have
been so gracious.

It's made me rethink
my whole life as a spartan.

Everywhere we go,
we have such a negative impact

On other people.

- Are you kidding me?

You guys are so cool!

- Really?
- Yes.

Can I tell you honestly?

The whole truth is that
we're playing you guys.

- Oh, in what sense?

- Well,
we've given you empathy.

- Empathy?

- Yep, wait,
why did I just tell you that?

Do I have it?

Was that not seawater
on those crates?

Oh, man.
I'm totally compromised.

You could do whatever
you want to me.

Damn it.

I wouldn't have told you that
unless I had it.

I totally have it.

Anyway, yeah,
we screwed you guys.

Why do I keep doing this?

- Well, thank you so much
for being honest.

- You're not mad?
- Mad?

[chuckles]
no.

I mean, I hope you understand
I do have

To tell the other spartans.

- Of course I understand.

I'm infected.

I can't ask you
to lie to people.

But what would you say are
the odds that you guys are

Gonna, you know, m*rder me?

Like, if you had
to guesstimate.

- Oh, um,
I want to say zero,

But I don't want to lie to you.

- It's higher than that.
- Oh, yeah, way higher.

All the way, really.
I'm sorry.

- And, like, now or--
- yeah.

You understand.
- I do, unfortunately.

Quick and painless?
- Mmm.

- All right,
do what you got to do.

Ah!

You saved me.

I love you, dad.

- Quite meaningless, as always.

[exciting music]

- Now, a titan you said, yes?

- Shaped like a dragon.
- A dragon?

- How is that worse, tyrannis?

A dragon isn't more dangerous
than a titan.

- Just scarier, I guess.

But you can k*ll her, right?

I mean, if she comes at us.

- Comes at us?

No twinge of empathy urging
you to take the poor dragon's

Feelings into account?

- Fine, enjoy this, mother.
You're right.

I'm no better than
you after all.

- [laughs]
you don't say.

No better than
the goddess deliria.

Oh, tyrannis,
you do make me laugh.

- I'm saying you win.

You don't have
to rub it in my face.

- Oh, what have I won?

Is there a prize that comes
with your begrudging

Recognition that you yourself
do not possess the holy virtue

You for some reason
thought made you better

Than the goddess deliri--

Ah!

- [growling]

- Ah!
- Mom!

- Oh, this is
the biggest mistake--

Of our lives.

What are we doing?

Oh, you were right, tyrannis.

I see it now.

I was living
in darkness to exclude

The viewpoints of others.

Oh, just look at her.

How could I not see?

She's just defending herself.

We took over their world, and
now we're invading her home.

Oh, you poor thing.

- Oh, no.

- [roars]

- Tyrannis, watch your step.

Careful on the ice.

Oh, what am I saying?
Is this empathy?

Do I have it?
Oh, I don't like this one bit.

- [cackling]

- Yes, dear, yes.

Let it all out.

- [growling]

- Tyrannis?

There's no need to hide,
tyrannis.

All empathis wants is to share
her gift, with perhaps just

A pinch of entirely
understandable revenge.

- Mother,
she's your ancient enemy

From a w*r that nearly wiped
out the olympians, you said.

- I may have exaggerated.

If we're being honest,
it was less a w*r

Than it was an extermination.

Oh, I'm the only monster
in this cave.

- [growls]

- That is audibly untrue.

Look, I know regret
is very new for you.

So listen to someone who's
rather an expert in it.

What you need to do is focus
on what's going on right now

And how to move forward.

- [growls]

- So can you please just go
back to helping me find

The cure and very probably
slaying this dragon?

- Well, I'm not
sure she deserves to die

Just because we don't like

What she's putting out
into the world.

- Oh, give me a break, mom.

- Oh, do you want
to sit on my lap?

- Yeah, like 30 years ago!

- So this is awkward.

We understand
why you did what you did.

But we also understand
that it involved

You thinking
you're better than us.

I'd ask you to recognize
how wrong that was.

But we also know now
that you don't care.

So the only way
to make you recognize it

Is to hurt you a lot,
for a while,

Before eventually k*lling you.

Badly!

- Badly?
Ok, we got to stretch this out.

I'll stop taking advantage
of them, obviously.

- I don't think
that's going to make

A difference at this point.

- You got any m*rder
back in your heart

Or is that a stupid question?

- It's not a stupid question.

I think it's a great question.

- Agh!

But if I let you out
of the cage,

It's not like you'll run off

And join the spartans
or anything.

- Mmm.
- You have to think about it?

- I don't want
to tell you one thing

And then disappoint you

If I wind up
doing a different thing.

- [growling]

- Mom, what are you doing?

- I'm so sorry, my darling boy.

I know you don't want this,
but it really is for the best.

- No, it really is not because
if you do have empathy for me,

If you understand my needs,

Then you know what I need
right now is for you to be

Your old, violent self,

The mom I should have accepted
in the first place.

- Say every word of that again.

- I'm saying,
here you are, the mother

I thought I'd always wanted,
but here I am

Needing you
to be something else.

And the truly selfless thing
for you to do right now

Is to behave selfishly
by wanting your son

And not a monster
to survive this!

- That isn't even close
to what you said before,

But I accept your framing.

[zap]

- [roars]

[zap]

[growling]

[roaring]

[gasping]

- That is an act
of moral bravery,

To do something so evidently
heartless and cowardly

In the interest
of the greater good,

To k*ll another living being,
particularly one

Who can't defend herself.

- Ok, that's not helping, mom.

And we do not have time for it.

- [gasping]

- Oh, you really are
a good son.

- I mean, we do have a minute.

- And, look, the cure.

- Ok, I'll take
my praise later.

- We can save your sister
and the city.

- And you.

- I don't want any.

I want this,
you and me, my son.

- Question.

If we just fly away
on my dad's back,

What happens then?

- We m*rder everyone
in the city.

- All right, guys,
that's not gonna work.

So as we are coming
out of our own volition,

You have agreed--
promised, in fact--

Not to hurt us.

- I don't want
to contradict you,

But we did not say any of that.

- Wow, kind of inconsiderate.

- Well,
if it makes it any better,

None of us feel great
about the situation.

- Yeah, it's true!
- Not the best situation!

- Does not make it better,
nope.

- Spartans--

- Mom!

- Eat this.

- If it'll make you happy.

Mm.

Hey, the fog is clearing.

I see people
as valueless objects again.

- You ready to b*at up
some empathy-hobbled spartans?

- You bet your fishy ass I am.

- If you take
another step forward,

You're gonna be a phalanx
full of dead guys!

- We totally see
where you're coming from.

- [grunts]

- On the other hand,
there's more of us than you.

And we don't have to m*rder
nice anymore.

- My mother is a goddess.

And she is currently infected
with empathy.

And I don't want to cure her
because she is nice to me now

For the first time ever.

But I'm warning you, I will.

Just please don't make me.

- att*ck!

- Damn it.
Bye, nice mom.

- Time for gratuitous v*olence.

- [screams]

[all screaming]

- You did it.

- Why did you not
give me the cure?

- What?

Well, you said
you didn't want the--

- And what kind
of an idiot would?

What a dumb move.

You had what you wanted.

Are you really that stupid?

- Right.
There she is.

- There she is.
You did this.

Why?

You truly are
an embarrassment, tyrannis!

Having briefly understood
your pathetic feelings

Makes it all the more clear
what an ass-face you truly are.

- [sighs]
- so what have we learned here?

- Don't try to trick a spartan?

- Well, but it all worked out,
didn't it?

- Depends how you define it.

- I'll tell you
what we learned.

Together, as a family,
we can overcome anything,

Even empathy.

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

- Whoo!
- Whoo-hoo!

- Yeah!
- Well done.

- Whoo!
- Very good.

[laughter]

- So although some remained
afflicted with empathy,

The effects quickly faded,
and the people learned

To manage what was left of it.

But the disease itself
stuck around.

It was passed down from
generation to generation,

Sometimes stronger,
sometimes weaker,

But never quite going away.

Now you might have just enough
to bid at a school charity

Auction but not enough
to take in an unhoused person

From the underpass.

[laughs]

So if every once in a while

You feel that twinge of feeling
what other people feel,

Experiencing their point of view
as somehow important,

It might not be because
you're a good person.

It might just be
because you're sick.

[laughs]

Well, that's all for tonight.

I'm the crazy narrator man.

Any time you don't see me
in an episode,

It means I'm in your house.

- Did you get any of that?

- Bento.