01x02 - Moms Be Momming

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

♪ I feel good ♪

♪ is that so wrong? ♪

♪ I feel good ♪

[ School bell rings ]

So, I got in
that guy's face

and said, "Dude,
using that lederhosen

is blatant cultural
appropriation."

Nice.

And that was the last time

I was allowed
inside a Build-A-Bear.

I can't believe
I'm saying this,

but Karen's
a good color on you.

[ Laughter ]

Ms. Gomez,
a quick word?

Ooh, someone's
in trouble.

No one is in trouble,
Luke.

Am I in trouble?

May I give you some advice?

It was a rhetorical question.
Of course I can.

I'm not big on teachers
hanging out with students

over, like, I don't know, say,
a cup of coffee.

Oh, this is
a chai latte.

Oh, I was wondering
what it was.

You weren't.

No.

Now, I want you to
write this down in your head.

You're their teacher,
not their friend.

Yes, we just walked

across the street
from Percolation Station,

and I thought it'd be weird
if we walked in silence,

'cause, like, don't you
hate awkward silences?

You do not.

Look, I'm trying
to help you,

which is not
usually my jam,

but...

you need to know where
to draw the lines with students.

Oh, hey, kiddo.

Are you meeting me for dinner
tonight?

Yeah, fine.
but I am sick of lasagna,

so cr*ck open
a cookbook.

Challenge accepted.

Where were we?

Uh, you were
giving me advice

you so clearly don't take,
Principle Maris.

Sarah Maris
is my daughter,

so it's my duty to feed her.
By law, actually.

Is that okay with you?

Rhetorical.

She's learning.

Yeah, you can do it.

[ Both imitate explosions ]

♪♪

I can't believe
Mr. Robinson

wouldn't let me leave class
to print out

my internship
application.

Next time, just tell him
you got your period.

For the entire class?

Entire week,
if you want.

Leaving
this conversation.

Hey, Sarah,
I've been meaning to ask.

Remember how you said
we might date?

Did I say that?

Oh, I don't know.
[ Chuckles ]

Yes, you definitely
said that.

Any updates?

Oh, no.
I'm still thinking about it.

Cool. Cool.

Is there anything
I could do

to assist with
your decision?

Look away.

What's happening?

I just don't like my mom
getting in my business.

Ah, I feel you.
Moms be momming, right?

Thanks
for understanding.

In exchange,
I'll try to forget

that you just said,
"Moms be momming."

Nah, I'll catch you later.

Not if I catch
you first.

[ Chuckles nervously ]

Stop talking!

♪♪

All digital currencies
require Internet.

Consequently,
there's an inherent wealth bias,

which Luke will explain.

Or not.

Hey, this was supposed
to be your topic --

cryptocurrency, money,

because everything about you
says that you love money.

Stop! You're gonna
make me blush.

Seriously, is nobody else
bothered by this?

What is he doing?

Sarah: He's watching
the Nerd Zoo.

Wait.
Who said that.

Hi. Up here, yeah.

Drip Lord tagged
a pic yesterday that

shown your debate class,
nicknamed #NerdZoo.

Whatever.

Bezos, Musk, Obama.

Some of the world's
most powerful people are nerds.

Nerd Zoo is
a compliment.

Did he just call Obama
a nerd?

Because we might
have words.

Hey, Nerd Zoo's trending,
and not in a good way.

Wait, unh-unh!

I can't have
an insulting moniker

be the first thing people see
when they Google me.

And what do
they see now?

A picture of me
in the Oval Office.

Wow.

You know, Luke's right.

Internet loves
to label you.

Bernie bro, AAPI,

musical theater junkie.

And I'm fine
with all of it.

Okay.
As entertaining as this is,

Sarah, I am so scared
of your mom.

And so I have to ask you,
shouldn't you be in class?

It's my free period.

Why would you spend your free
period hanging in debate?

You know that's kind
of weird, right?

This is the library.
It's not weird I'm here.

It's weird
you're here.

You're a natural.
You should join us.

It'll be fun.

Okay.
Uh, where were we?

Miles did
opening remarks.

Now Makayla does rebuttal
because she's a rock star.

Appreciating the ego boost
and running with it.

The biggest con
for digital currency

is that servers
are guzzling up energy.

Enh.

Also, we don't know
the environmental impact yet.

Oh, my God.

The sounds aren't
my favorite.

I got it.

Uh, Sarah,
anything you want to add?

Oh, no. Sorry.

With environmental
impact --

No, no, no, no.
She is not done yet.

Okay, sure.

The servers aren't
energy efficient,

but neither is printing cash
or digging the Earth for metals.

And you'll counter
with the vulnerability

of computer glitches.

But then I'll pull out a dollar,
light it on fire,

proving that cash
is way more vulnerable.

Oh, wait, I don't
have a dollar bill.

No one carries cash
anymore.

Debate over.

Okay, that was kind of fun.

But still, I'm not gonna add
another class to my course load,

but I'll see you
around.

Um, wow!

Terrell,
your girlfriend is brilliant.

Oh, no, she's not
my girlfriend.

Right?

I actually
have no idea.

Well, someone should ask Sarah
if she wants to join the team.

Me! Yes --

Actually, if it's cool.

Okay.

If Terrell gets Sarah to join,

that'll make us
a full team of six,

and then we just have
to figure out team captain.

Alright.
Time for my acceptance speech.

Now I want to start
by saying...

this makes sense.

I love the enthusiasm, Luke,
but almost everyone in here

submitted themselves
for team captain.

You guys, I really want
to give you props

for putting yourselves
out there.

It's awesome.

Alright. I'll figure it out
in the next day or two.

Hey, Miles,
we got to do something

about this
Nerd Zoo label.

Ooh, I know.

We could ignore it.

No! No, no, no, no.

We're not confined bonobos
for their enjoyment.

Can't you just say "monkey"
like a normal person?

You're proving
their point.

That's enough, okay!

Hey!

I'm not an animal.

Yo, this is sick.

♪♪

Hey!

You are the only student

who didn't submit themselves
for team captain.

Kind of a bummer.

You know,
you're the only teacher

that stops and talks to me
at my locker, so...

kind of a bummer.

Look, those kids
listen to you.

You boost them up
when they need it,

make them focus
when they drift.

Robyn, you are the glue
that holds that team together.

Thank you.
That means a lot.

So, you gonna do it?

No.

Look, I mean,
there's no big drama

or anything,
for real.

I just don't have time.
I'm busy.

With what?

Yeah, that's personal.

I don't do personal.

Really?

Are you being
very still,

hoping I'll magically
start talking about myself?

I am.

Does that ever work?

Nope.

Cool.
I'll see you around.

[ School bell rings ]

Thanks for reading
my internship résumé.

I was supposed
to list my accomplishments.

Think it's okay?

After reading it,
I feel even worse

about what little
I've done with my life, so...

yes.

There you are, Miles.

I have such a fun question
for you.

Um, what's Robyn's deal?

Is the fun part the intense
anxiety I immediately feel?

It's just,
in the time I've been here,

I've gotten
to know all of you.

Like, I know the BTS members
you love.

I know the ones
Makayla hates.

I even know that Elliott

sometimes uses
women's deodorant

'cause he likes
the smell of lavender.

Do you remember what I told you
right after I shared that?

Was it to never, ever tell
anybody else about it?

It was.

That's also why
maybe Miles

doesn't want to dish to you
about his friend.

Hey, Miles!

Hi, guys.
I need you.

Sorry, I got to go...
deal with whatever that is.

♪♪

I don't know.
I don't get it.

Like, everyone
wants to be captain

because it's Ivy League
recruiter bait,

except Robyn,
'cause she said she's too busy.

Like, what's that about?

Oh, you know
what it could be?

That she's too busy.

I think it's deeper than that.
I just --

I have to figure out a way
to get to know her better.

Look, it's taken me
over a year

to even know a little
about Robyn.

She's a STEM queen.

She's super smart,

but she's got goals
outside of college.

Like what?

SmashThePlayerArchy
is legendary.

She's hoping to get
into arena games and go pro.

Wow.

A gamer girl, huh?

You know, I used
to be way into that.

I was Robyn.

Aww, you want me
to pretend to believe

you were ever
as cool as her?

Yes, I would.

There! See?
Problem solved.

Okay, now it just looks

like one of those
lizard tanks at the zoo.

No, it doesn't.

[ Both shouting indistinctly ]

I'm not even talking!

Wave and keep moving.

♪♪

'Sup, Sarah.
Want to join debate?

[ High-pitched voice] Yes, but
only if you hang out with me.

[ Normal voice ] Cool! That's
what I be trying to do, girl.

That is not what Sarah
sounds like.

What happened to,
"I'll keep studying.

You go call Sarah."

I'm studying you.

And it's making me sad.

Alright. Look.
Plan is foolproof.

I'll charm Sarah
into joining debate,

then pivot to seeing a movie
or something.

Who's the girl who thinks
she's good enough

for my handsome baby?

Mom, dating is old school,
alright?

I just want to do
something casual that also says,

"I'm very interested
in kissing you."

Better be
only kissing.

As we know, kissing is
a sexual gateway drug.

Mom, I'm begging you.

I'm gone.

Look, if you want
to hang with Sarah Maris,

you need some backbone.

She's an alpha.
You can't puppy dog an alpha.

Principle Maris' daughter?

As co-chair of the PA,
I talk to her all the time.

I will make sure
she shares the same feelings

on birth control.

Oh, my God.

Time for you to listen up,
young man.

Full mom tone.

I expect your primary focus
to be on school and swimming.

But if Sarah is anything
like her mother,

you'll need
to be direct.

And if that doesn't work...
spend some money on her.

But I don't have
any money.

I know.

♪♪

[ Grunting, thudding ]

Dude,
you weren't joking!

I mean, I'm pretty good,
but Robyn is amazing.

So, I guess we're watching
Robyn's Twitch feed

and not playing
Settlers of Catan.

I just said that to get you
to come over with a pizza.

I actually don't know
what Catan is.

I just looked up "dork games"
on my phone.

Hurtful.

Tonight, I'm gonna
get her to open up

about the whole
team captain thing.

Oh!
So, what's the plan?

He asked,
knowing it would be horrible.

She's gonna notice me playing,
ask me to join her,

stop seeing me as a teacher,
and start seeing me as a friend.

[ Scoffs ]
Isn't that exactly

what Principal Maris
warned you about?

Oh, yeah.
You're right.

Who cares?

Okay!

SheroRules logging in.

[ Sighs ] It's never
gonna work.

[ Grunting, thudding ]

Hey, Ms. Gomez,
sick gut punch.

Oh, thank you.

Hey, you got skills.
Do you want to play?

Oh, I'm cool if you are,
friend-o.

Forget the pizza.
You can eat your words.

Okay, great.
I'm gonna send you an invite

to my Twitch account,
but no school talk.

I'm livestreaming, okay?

Yes, you got it.

I want it
on the official record.

I am a witness,
not an accomplice.

Was that Mr. Escalante?

Yup.

Y'all on a date?

A date? No!
Are you serious?

[ Laughs ] What?!

Yeah, I mean, who would ever
think an invite for pizza

and the world's greatest
board game would...

be a date?

Feed me. I don't wanna
get grease on my controller.

Thanks.

Fun night.

♪♪

It'll look great
on your college applications.

Plus, I'll even
let you use

the best lane
in swim practice.

And that is why
you should join debate.

This has been the weirdest
15 minutes I've ever had,

but I do love the idea
of arguing for credit.

I've been practicing with my mom
since birth.

Ah, yeah.
Moms be momming.

Dude...

I'm in.
I'll see you tomorrow.

Great, and, you know,
I was thinking maybe we could --

She gone?

Yeah.

I heard "mom."
How'd it go?

Great! Count it.

How bad?

Not good.

♪♪

Wow.

10:00 p.m. FaceTime
followed by a text.

Someone is on his way
to a cold shower.

Okay, not that it matters,
but it's not about Terrell.

It's about debate.
They want me to join.

Really?

Oh, I think debate's
a wonderful idea.

You know, it is cool
if you don't weigh in.

Message received.

Of course...

we have to accelerate your prep,
get you a tutor,

and if I'm gonna be
attending matches,

I'm allocating funds
for new blazers.

I hate that gray.

Blech!

Goodnight, mom.

Speaking
of accelerating prep,

do you need
the sex talk?

I think the last,
I don't know, thousand times

were enough.

Babe, I run a school!

Trust me,
it's never enough!

The things
I can't unsee.

Upper cut.
Special

Strike, strike.

Ooh!

Robyn, you called
that fight perfectly,

like, right to
the countdown.

Yeah, I did.

I can't believe I'm saying this,
but, um...

do you want to play
one more game?

One more game, huh?

The answer is, "No,

I'm gonna quit
while I'm ahead."

Got it.

Count me in.

You know, gamer to gamer,
what you're doing right now,

you could be doing IRL.

Hard pass,
but thanks, though.

Come on.
You are a natural leader.

You should
be debate team captain.

We'd win every match.

But I mean, what do I know?
I'm just your teacher.

Oh, that was
a mistake!

I game to get away from school,
random player I just met.

Robyn, hold on!

She blocked me.

[ Sighs ]

Now what do I do?

Feels like
a you problem.

♪ So good ♪

♪ So good, oh, oh, oh ♪

Robyn, I get it.

You're mad at me,
and it's totally deserved.

That's fine.

[ Loudly ] I am great
at talking over music.

It's actually something
a significant number

of people hate
about me.

[ Normal voice ] Hey, I'm trying
to say I'm sorry.

Got it.
No, that's fine.

You can ignore me.
I-I like healthy boundaries.

[ School bell rings ]

Okay.

Uh, first topic today is --

I do not like
healthy boundaries!

They're such a problem
for me!

Hi.

So, first topic
should be...

when will people
stop staring at us?!

It is a little
relentless.

And you guys
might not believe this,

but I generally like

being at the center
of attention.

Oh, we believe it.

Trust me, just act like
it doesn't bother you.

They'll move on.

You're right.
You're right.

Nope, can't do it.

We're gonna move on.

Uh, Terrell, I thought Sarah
was joining us today.

Oh, yeah.
She'll be here.

The library ghosts
are telling me...no.

Hey, look, you're wrong.
She's just late.

Or she's been m*rder*d
in a bathroom stall.

What, don't any of you
listen to podcasts?

Sarah, yes.

Oh, no, I just left
a notebook in here.

I'm not joining.

Wait, what?
You were psyched.

Well, I mean, yeah.
It's just...

Do y'all really enjoy
pretending to argue all day?

It's so lame.

Sorry, I just
can't imagine

wanting to be a part
of this Nerd Zoo.

♪♪

You're doing that thing
where you sit in silence

and hope I ask what's up?

[ Whimpers ]

You want it to work
this once?

Yeah.

What's up?

Robyn won't stop
ignoring me.

Look, I know that
you think I crossed a line,

but I feel like you have
to cross the occasional line

or some of these kids are
gonna fall through the cracks.

I mean, how come everyone here
plays it so safe?

Because if you don't,
you end up asking your co-worker

why a student
won't speak to you

while he pretends you don't
have snakes on your feet.

It's called fashion.

Look, you know how you love
to tell me how to teach?

No, I don't.

Okay.
It's my favorite.

Look, you want to salvage
the relationship with Robyn?

You got to just
stop playing games

and be real with her.

You're right.

But wait, wait. Can ask you
for one more little favor?

Yeah, anything.

Will you do it for me?

Elliot, come on.
You know her better!

♪♪

So, that's
your thing now,

being rude
to me and my friends?

Oh, relax.
It was a joke.

Not to me.

Okay, yeah, I wanted to join,
but my mom got all extra.

I mean, she puts a spotlight
on anything I try to do.

My mom checks my breath
every time I come home --

to make sure I brush
my teeth at lunch.

I am so sorry.

But we all have moms
who are extra.

My mom's
the principal.

It's different.
I literally cannot escape.

So you're not gonna do
anything you want to do

the entire time
you're in high school?

Yeah.
That's the current plan.

I like debate, alright?

And I know you do, too.

Arguing made
your eyes light up,

like the color
of the ocean at dusk.

Sorry.
Sidetracked.

If you're gonna mad,
you can't flatter me.

You know what?
I'm not a puppy dog, alright?

I'll flatter you
if I want.

Yes, you're smart.
You're strong.

But if you're gonna use
your own insecurities

to disrespect me
and my friends,

then find somewhere else
to spend your free period.

I'm out.

[ Chuckles ]
I did not hate that.

♪♪

Hey, Miles.

Hi, Ms. Gomez.

Are you about to make this
super awkward?

Robyn, I am not leaving
until we talk.

That's a yes.

Mnh-mnh.
Not happening.

Then I won't
talk to you.

Not sure I like
where this is going.

Miles, I would really
like to apologize

for how I behaved
with Robyn.

It was intrusive
and really dumb.

She really
appreciates it.

Ow!

[ Chuckles ]
I was thinking,

and I should not have pushed
the whole team captain thing.

But I submitted myself
for team captain.

[ Hushed ] Not now!

[ Normal voice ]
I was really hoping

that we could talk this out,
woman to woman.

Ooh!
That's an immediate eject.

Bye.

Hey, hey.

Look, come on.
No more games.

Can we just talk this out,
please?

Um...okay.

For starters,
you turned me into the girl

that games
with her teacher.

Yes, I know,
and it wasn't my intention

to embarrass you online.

I just should've been real
with you from the start.

But I'm gonna do it now.

I think that you want
to be team captain,

and I think there's something
holding you back.

You know how many things
I missed out on

when I was your age
'cause I was scared?

Why can't you ever
let anything go?

If you said that in Spanish,
you'd be my mom.

Okay.

Um...

I don't just jump
into things.

I practiced gaming for years
until I knew I was good enough

to let people watch
what I do.

I can't practice being
a debate team captain.

And what if I suck?

That all makes sense,
but I don't think you will.

I think you can trust your team,
have their backs,

and they're gonna
have yours.

♪♪

They want to look,
let them!

I'm the Beyoncé of this
Destiny's Child, people!

I'm a survivor.

Hey, Sarah.

So, I actually came
to apologize for yesterday.

Someone made me realize

that I was focusing
on the wrong things,

like pissing off my mom.

I let it get in the way
of what I really wanted,

which is to be
a part of debate.

You sure you want
to be a part of the Nerd Zoo?

[ Whispers ] Get out
while you still can.

About that...
windows do work both ways.

If he can film you,
you can film him.

Flip the tables.

Post something
about those jerks.

Oh, my God,
you're right!

[ Chuckles ] Somebody
is about to get...

Luked!

Crap!

This is gonna hurt
the resale value.

I'm posting this.

#PoserZoo!

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

I am so glad
you're here.

Does that mean
I can stay?

Okay.

As debate team captain,

I'm officially adding you
to the roster.

Please don't
make this a thing.

Hold up.
Hold up.

You picked Robyn
to be team captain?

Yeah.

Look, I'm ready
to have y'all's backs

if you're ready
to have mine.

So what do you say?

No way!

D-Did you not read

the letter of recommendation
from my mother?

Oh, please.
You wrote that.

Yes, but she signed it.

Oh, what is your problem?
She's gonna do great.

[ Indistinct shouting ]

I still feel
really good about it.

♪♪

No, it's all corn.
It's literally just corn.

So...

I never answered
about hanging.

Uh, yeah.
Yeah, I noticed.

I just moved on.

I was kind of hoping
you might want to ask me again.

You sure?
Your mom's watching.

Moms be momming.

Big fan.

So, Sarah...

I was hoping that maybe --

What took you so long?

[ Whispers ]
I'm everywhere.

♪♪

♪ I feel good ♪

♪ Is that so wrong? ♪

♪ I feel good ♪

♪ All night long ♪

♪ I feel good ♪

♪ One more song ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ I feel good ♪

♪ So good ♪

♪ So alive ♪

♪ I feel good ♪

♪ And I don't know why ♪

♪ I feel good ♪

♪ Working overtime ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ I feel good ♪

♪ So good ♪

♪ So good, oh, oh, oh ♪