[ suspenseful music playing ]
[ siren blaring ]
- [ siren stops ]
- chief, it looks like
Someone's tried
to make an impression
of this lock.
Gentlemen,
as of this moment
All members of control
are on the magenta alert.
You don't think
we've been infiltrated,
do you, sir?
I don't know, hodgkins,
but we're not taking
any chances.
At 4:00 this afternoon
our government is
bringing together
Six of the world's
top scientific geniuses.
The ultimate defense
of our nation may depend
Upon our ability
to protect this conference
And the six great minds
who are attending it.
if someone was in fact
tampering with this lock,
We've got to find out
who it was and why
immediately.
There's only one key
that will open these locks,
and that's in the possession
of the control agent
Who's in charge
of internal security
this month.
I want to see him
in my office right away.
The future of our country
may depend
Upon that key
and that man.
Who is it, hodgkins?
Uh, agent 86,
maxwell smart.
- [ phone ringing ]
- [ whistling ]
Uh, coming.
Uh, in a minute.
I said I'm coming.
Yes?
Hello?
Hello.
Two, five...
[ phone ringing ]
Smart here.
Yes, chief.
A magenta alert?
Yes, sir,
The emergency list,
the duty roster
And the key
to the conference room.
Funny you should
ask, chief.
I have them all
right at my fingertips.
Uh, chief,
You wouldn't happen
to need a drawer,
would you?
Oh.i didn't
think so.
[ theme music playing ]
What's up, chief?
Why the magenta alert?
About the conference
this afternoon.
We have reason to believe
that control may have been
infiltrated.
- Why?
- The alarm went off
on the conference room door.
Now it may have
been a malfunction
in the electrical circuit,
- but on the other hand--
- yes, I see what you
mean, chief.
I assume you have the key
to the conference room door.
That's right, chief,
and no one can take it
away from me.
Not as long as I have it
on this security chain
That was developed
by professor windish.
Good.
Now from here on
Everything is
class "a" security.
Here's what
I want you to do--
Wait a minute, chief.
Didn't you just say
"class 'a' security"?
I did.
Well, then shouldn't we--
Do you want me
to leave the room?
That won't be necessary,
hodgkins.
We can talk under
the cone of silence.
The cone of silence?
Well, this is
a magenta alert, isn't it?
The cone of silence.
[ Whirring ]
I am deeply concerned
about the conference room.
- What?
- I'm concerned about
the conference room.
- How's that?
- He's concerned about
the conference room.
Oh.
I want it
thoroughly inspected
For hidden devices--
microphones, bombs.
- What?
- Check for microphones
and bombs.
Oh.
Well, do you really think
that's necessary, chief?
I mean, isn't that
an anti-infiltration tactic?
- What?
- He wonders
If that's
an anti-infiltration
tactic.
Oh.
Why am I talking to you?
Will you get this thing
off me?
- [ Whirring ]
- you know this thing
doesn't work.
Why do you always
insist on using it?
Well, for one thing,
It's 20° cooler inside.
All right, hodgkins.
Cone of silence!
Listen, max,
the mere chance
That an enemy agent
may have infiltrated
control--
Chief, why don't you
just cancel the conference?
If I had to admit
I was afraid
To hold a meeting here
in our own building--
The very agency
that's responsible
for our nation's security--
I'd be laughed
right out of the business.
- Can I make
a suggestion, chief?
- What is it?
Don't cancel
the conference.
Max, I want you
To give the conference room
a complete examination.
Well, I'll need
some special equipment
for that, chief.
Get it from the lab.
But, max, remember--
Class "a" security.
Don't let windish know
what you're doing.
Chief, you don't mean
that professor windish--
Max, that meeting
this afternoon is
vital to our country.
Those six men
must be protected.
One man
with an ordinary g*n--
Six b*ll*ts--
could destroy the hopes
of the free world.
Well, then no one
is above suspicion.
For the time being,
you are the only man
I can trust.
Well, chief,
I certainly appreciate
Your taking me
into your confidence
like this.
Max, there is
always someone
In whom we must
have faith.
Well, I certainly am glad
you feel that way about me.
max,
I think I know you
well enough to say...
I trust you
completely.
This is it,
one of the most
incredible
Of my many
incredible inventions.
Oh, professor,
it's beautiful!
Thank you, my dear.
Into perfecting it--
The world's first
Electro-retrogressor g*n.
Just think of it, 99.
At last,
At last,
an actual working
Electro-retrogressor g*n.
- One thing, professor.
- what?
Just what is an
electro-retrogressor g*n?
Aim it,
press the trigger...
[ Buzzes ]
...the victim receives
one second of this ray;
He'll be temporarily
incapable
Of thinking
beyond the level
of an eight-year-old.
- Even adults?
- Anyone.
The most
brilliant mind retrogresses
to the age of eight.
Amazing!
Yes, I am.
Let's put it away now.
There are
some minor adjustments
that I want to make,
But they can wait
until tomorrow.
Alma, unlock
the cabinet.
Henry, take the g*n.
- Be careful now.
- Yes, professor.
Careful, careful.
What do you think we need
for the conference room?
Well, I'd like to use
The magic ear
listening device.
Oh, yes.
And what about
the pocket disintegrator
In case we have
to take apart something
that's solid?
Good idea, 99,
Uh, but let me ask.
I don't want
- The professor to know
what we're using them for.
- Okay.
Oh, windish?
- Professor?
Professor?
- Yes, smart?
Professor, I'd like
to borrow some of your
equipment.
I wonder if you'd mind
if I used your pocket
disintegrator pen
And your magic ear
listening device
for a few hours.
- What for?
- Well, I'd like
to tell you, professor,
But it's all pretty
top secret.
Oh, these are
not toys, 86.
I'm afraid
that you'll need
a requisition for them.
Um, professor,
I've always thought
it would be such fun
To see how those
devices work.
Oh yeah?well...
Oh.
Windish:
there we are.
Just bring them back
when you're through,
my dear.
Oh, thank you,
professor.
Oh, anything
for the service.
Coming, 86?
Nothing here, max.
Nothing here
either, 99.
I think we'd better
use the magic ear.
- How does that work?
- Well, it's really
quite simple.
See, this part fits
over the ear.
Now take the control
and turn the indicator
to one.
- Right.
- Now watch this.
I take a hair
from my head.
Now listen
to what happens
when it hits the table.
[ Crash ]
Wow, that's
really ingenious.
Yes, and that's
only at half volume.
Well, I think I'd better
give the walls
A quick check.
I don't seem to be
getting anything.
I think you'd better
turn the volume up
to full.
Right.
Sorry.
Ma--
Now if there's anything
Mechanical or electrical
in these walls,
The magic ear
will pick up the noise.
Uh-oh.
What's that?
I don't know.
Look at the control
And see what
the indicator says.
It's pointing
to "electrical."
Electrical, eh?
Well, it could be a b*mb
with an electrical
timing device.
We'd better use
the disintegrator.
Don't you think
we'd better check it out
with the chief?
No time for that.
That b*mb's liable
to go off at any moment.
I've gotta take
this disintegrator
and cut through that wall
- And see what's
making that noise.
- What's behind that wall?
I don't know.
It might be the supply room,
The chief's office
or the outside
of the building.
Be careful, max.
[ Shaver buzzing ]
It's the chief's office.
Hi, chief.
Uh, sorry about this.
[ Chuckles ]
I see you're shaving.
Missed a little spot
right there.
Well, chief,
no problem so far.
We've got the conference room
completely safe
and sealed off.
Excellent.i think
we've taken every precaution.
But the magenta alert
is still on.
Yes, well,
we all appreciate
your concern, chief,
But I think
you can relax for a while.
As agent in charge
of internal security,
I can give you
my personal assurance
That everything is
under perfect control.
[ alarm blaring ]
Uh, would you settle
for almost perfect?
Hodgkins,
who threw the alarm?
it came from
the laboratory, sir.
- Are you there, chief?
- What is it, windish?
Someone has stolen
my retrogressor g*n.
Professor, didn't you
have it locked up?
Yes, I did.
But I wanted to do some work
on one of the mechanisms.
I just started
to work on it when--
Hold on, professor.
Hodgkins, seal off
the entire building.
Professor,
do you have any idea
who stole the g*n?
Yes.
I can't believe it,
But it was one
of our own people.
Who, professor, who?
- It was--
- [ buzzes ]
I want my mommy.
mommy, where are you,
mommy?
I want my mommy.
i want my mommy.
How long will the effects
of the retrogressor
g*n last?
There's no way of knowing,
and now the professor
can't tell us.
His mind is the mind
of an eight-year-old child.
An enemy agent
in our midst
And he has
the retrogressor g*n.
We've got to find
that g*n, chief.
Start with
every agent on duty
outside the building.
Find out if anyone
has left the building
in the last few minutes.
We've got only two hours
until that conference starts.
Right, chief.
How many agents have we
checked out so far?
All clear
except agent 17.
Hold it.
[ organ grinder playing ]
Recognize him?
Yes, that's agent 17.
Wow, what a disguise.
Should we question him?
No, not now.
The organ grinder is
watching him too closely.
Max, if none of our
agents on the outside
Saw anyone
leaving the building,
That means whoever stole
the retrogressor g*n
is still in here.
Yes, that's exactly
what I was thinking, 99.
And that means that
the thief is probably
- Planning to use it
on the delegates.
- Or us.
Max, you're in danger.
So are you, 99.
Oh, max.
- [ alarm ringing ]
- oh, what's that?
It's the chief's office.
Come on.
Chief, has something
happened to you?
- Chief.
- I wanna go out
and play.
Oh, no.
They got him too.
Well, at least
the professor will have
someone to play with.
Oh, max, there's
no one in charge.
Who's going
to take over?
- I am.
- Oh.
- 99.
- yes.
Take the chief
down to the infirmary.
- I wanna go out and play.
- Come on, chief, come on.
Hodgkins, get in here
right away.
- 99.
- yes.
I want a complete check
on every agent
Who's been
on duty in this building
- for the past 24 hours.
- right.
Now hear this:
this is an emergency.
no one will leave
this building.
i repeat,
No one will leave
this building.
- Hodgkins!
- ahem.
Oh.hodgkins,
I want the officer
responsible for internal
security
In here
on the double.
You're the internal
security officer.
Fast work, hodgkins.
Now I want a complete
change of personnel
On the entrances
and exits.
Relay all calls
through this office.
[ Phones ringing ]
Not so fast, please.
Uh, can you hold on
for a second?
Uh, I'll be with you
in a minute.
Are you still there?
Uh, listen, I'll have
to call you back later
yeah.
Uh, correction.
Correction:
No calls will be relayed
through this office.
Code room.
[ whirring ]
Code room, I want new
passwords and countersigns.
radio communications
will be transferred
to emergency frequency.
I want all
agents on the outside
brought inside.
I want all
agents on the inside
brought outside.
Max!max!
Max, the delegates
have just arrived.
They're on their way
to the conference room.
They've already passed
external security.
- Say what?
- The delegates,
they've already arrived.
They're on their way
to the conference room.
The meeting begins
in five minutes, max!
You don't have
to shout, 99.
I can hear you.
They mustn't find out
about the chief.
I've gotta go down
to the conference room
and let them in.
Hodgkins, take over.
- Come on, 99.
- Right.
Gentlemen,
as officer in charge
Of internal
security here,
It is my pleasure
to welcome you and
to assure you
That your conference
will be safe and pleasant.
the chief would have
been here himself
to welcome you,
But I'm sure
that he'll join us,
Uh, as soon
as he's had his nap.
His nap?
Uh, n.a.p.
National area
program reports.
Well, in the meantime
It will be my pleasure
To unlock the conference
room door
And let you gentlemen
get on with your work.
I shall be in charge
of security
During the entire
conference.
Uh, as you'll notice,
This is a good firm,
solid door.
it's practically impossible
to get into this
conference room.
However, I have a plan.
I have
an alternate plan.
Right this way,
gentlemen.
And I'd appreciate it
if you'd hurry.
It's a little drafty
out here.
Are you having
a little trouble, 86?
Uh, no, 99.
I'm just trying
to get the key
out of the lock.
I wonder what would happen
if you pushed the key in
And then turned it.
If you don't mind, 99,
I'd like to handle
this myself.
You see, I'm just
gonna push the key in
And turn it.
All over for you.
- What is it, radcheck.
- Take a look at this.
- What is it?
- Clay, the kind
That's used for making
impressions of locks.
- Where did you find it?
- In alma sutton's purse.
Alma sutton?
Your coworker?
I've suspected her
for a long time.
She's in the lab
right now.
Radcheck, you stay here
and guard the conference.
- 99, We'll go get alma.
- Right.
All right, alma--
Did you come down
to play with me?
Ooh, I love to jump rope.
Next to watching
"Captain kangaroo"
on television I love
jumping rope the best.
She's been hit
by the retrogressor
g*n too.
It's not her.
And if it's not her,
Then it's got
to be radcheck.
And I left him guarding
the meeting.
- Come on.
- Oh!
What's going on here?
Radcheck,
you're under arrest.
You're a spy, a traitor
and a double-dealer.
You might as well confess.
I'm completely innocent!
That's a good start.
Okay, 99,
I think we can start
with the interrogation now.
Check, 86.
Okay, radcheck,
start talking.
- 99: who pays you?
- who do you report to?
- Whom.
- Whom?
Look, I'll tell you
everything.
Just a minute, radcheck.
Are you sure it's
whom, 99?
Oh yeah, I think so,
Because whom is
the objective, you see,
- And if you have
a preposition--
- I would like
To make a statement.
Who do you report to?
Whom do you report to?
It's whom.
It is?oh.
Well, then in that case
perhaps you can tell us
whom had access
to the retrogressor?
I tell you
it was alma sutton.
Don't be ridiculous,
radcheck.
You've turned alma sutton
into an eight-year-old
child
Who wants nothing
more than to watch
"captain kangaroo."
- "Captain kangaroo."
- What is it, max?
Or course, that's it!
Why didn't I
see it before?
Unlock him, 99.
Well, alma,
Are you still
an eight-year-old
Or have you decided
to act your age?
How did you find out?
Well, you had me
fooled for a while,
But you made
one little mistake.
When you said
that you watch
"captain kangaroo,"
I realized that if
you'd actually been
Shot by
the retrogressor g*n
You could not possibly
have seen that show,
Because
"captain kangaroo"
Was not on
when you were
eight years old.
Very clever, mr. Smart,
But you also made
one little mistake.
- Oh? What was that?
- Coming here.
The door to the conference
room is locked.
I wouldn't have been
able to get in,
But now that you're here
with the key...
Alma, you want
to get into that
conference room?
Just give me
one good reason why
I should let you in.
Here's one.
You want to try
for two out of three?
Open the door, smart.
All right, alma.
Just think of it, 86,
in just a few minutes
Six of the greatest
scientists in the whole world
Will be running around
the room playing hopscotch.
- Alma--
- quiet.
Turn around.
Put your hands up.
You're next.
[ buzzing ]
Bang bang.
Okay, alma,
You'd better come along
with your uncle max.
Little girls like you
belong in jail.
I'll go if you'll
skip with me.
It was an amazing
experience, max.
Simply amazing.
Yes, well,
thank you, chief.
I'm glad you're
all right now.
- Did I give you
any trouble?
- No, as a matter of fact,
You were
a delightful child.
Thank you.
What about professor windish?
Oh, he came out of it
about an hour ago.
Yes, and I understand
He's going to destroy
the retrogressor g*n.
Why?
Well, apparently
he had a rotten childhood.
Well, you both did
a remarkable job.
I have a little
surprise for you.
What's that, chief?
Because of the excellence
of your work
In protecting those men
in the conference room,
We've decided
to give you
This certificate
of meritorious service.
Oh, gosh, chief,
I don't know what to say.
Don't say anything, max.
Just read it over
and then destroy it.
Destroy it?
This is
a secret organization.
Oh.
[ theme music playing ]
01x07 - KAOS in CONTROL
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Series centers on bumbling secret agent Maxwell Smart (Adams), aka Agent 86, and his unnamed female partner, Agent 99 (Feldon).
Series centers on bumbling secret agent Maxwell Smart (Adams), aka Agent 86, and his unnamed female partner, Agent 99 (Feldon).