02x29 - A Man Called Smart: Part 2

[bunniefuu]

Hold it, it's a cop.

Hello?

Hello?

- Hello, chief.
- How are you feeling, max?

Much better, thank you.
Anything new from bediyoskin?

He's safe at the hospital,
but he's still unconscious.

- We got the men who tried to k*ll you.
- Oh, good. Did they talk?

They didn't know anything. They
weren't regular kaos personnel,

They were hired from an
agency... "Part-time K*llers."

Hello?

Whew!

- Hello?
- What are you looking for, chief?

Internal security keeps
meddling with the equipment.

Why do they have to change my phone
into something different everyday?!

Well, you can't be too
careful in times like these, chief.

Look, why don't
you just call down

And ask the fellows in internal
security where the phone is?

Call them on what, max?

Right, chief.

I've been over the whole
room and I can't find it.

- Did you look in the clock?
- Don't be ridiculous, max.

It wouldn't be in the clock.

- So that's where it is.
- Where, chief?

In the clock, max.

Hello? Speaking.

Oh. Yes, mr. President.

No, sir, not yet, but
we're still trying.

Yes, sir, I know, but if I
had a little bit more time, i...

Yes, sir.

Yes, I understand, sir.

Goodbye.

What did he say, chief?

I'm being temporarily
replaced as chief.

What?!

The president is afraid
that people would panic.

He thinks it would be wise to
appoint a man with more experience,

More imagination, more
daring, more wisdom.

I can't believe it. I
just can't believe it!

After all your years of
courageous and dedicated service,

- This is an outrage!
- Well, thank you, max.

- And one more thing, chief.
- What?

Would you recommend
me for the job?

He's recalling admiral
hargrade to active duty.

Admiral hargrade? Who's he?

He was control's first chief.
There's a card on him in the files.

"Admiral harold hargrade,

In espionage business
for over 65 years,

Started out with
his own company,

Harold hargrade & sons, spies.

Entered government service 1909.

Became chief of control
and retired in 1946.

Chess and burying old buddies.

Now 91 years of age."


He's still active?!

Yes, I understand he
gets up every morning

And takes a two-hour
walk to his office.

Where's his office?

Right across the
street from his house.

That's the secret entrance.

- It must be the admiral.
- How do you know?

He's the only one
that knows about it.

Glad to have you aboard, sir.

Oh, you'll have to
speak up, thaddeus.

My hearing's not
what it used to be.

All my other senses
are fine, though.

Oh, good afternoon, madam.

- I'll help you down, sir.
- Thank you. Oops-a-daisy.

I'd like to have
you meet agent 86,

- Maxwell smart.
- How do you do, sir?

- Oh, I've heard about you.
- Thank you, sir.

No one else available, huh?

Well, I'm sorry about
my taking over, thaddeus.

Well, it's good to serve
under you again, sir.

- Any new developments?
- Oh, yes.

We think that we've located
the kaos broadcasting station.

Do you have an area-3 map?

- Yes, sir, we do.
- Oh, good.

- And a pointer?
- Oh, yes, sir.

- Here you are.
- Thank you.

Now, ahem, we think that...

Don't you have a
longer pointer than this?

Yes, sir. Here.

Oh, fine. Thank
you all the same.

Now, ahem, our tracking unit

Tells us the radio station

Is approximately in this area.

Uh-oh.

Lists a little to
starboard, doesn't it?

Uh, admiral, why don't
you just come over here

And sit down and take it
easy in the chief's chair?

Oh, thank you. I'll do that.

Would somebody
give me a little push?

- Thank you.
- Chief: admiral,

What was the president's
decision on the ransom?

Oh, well, I talked to herbert
about that just a few minutes ago.

Herbert? Sir, herbert
hoover is no longer president.

Too bad, I thought he
showed a lot of promise.

Anyway, whoever it was

Authorized me to pay kaos

$1 Billion that
they have demanded.

But, sir, kaos will never
turn over the formula to us.

They'll just take our money and
then sell the formula to our enemies.

Hey, that's right.

Hey, you're a pretty
good thinker, boy...

And a good catcher too.

- Thanks, boy.
- Chief: admiral,

I have to agree with agent


Well, exactly how
dangerous is this formula?

Well, sir, within 24 hours

It could dry up every lake, river
and stream in the united states.

We'd be at the mercy of
any country that had water.

Bootlegging would come back.

People would start
making bathtub water.

Well, we'd better
try to solve this case

Before the kaos deadline. Hmm...

I have a plan.

Thank you.

Sir, you were discussing
some sort of plan.

Well, this actor
fellow, bediyoskin,

Is the key to the plan.

We've got to get
him to talk somehow.

What is his condition
at this moment?

I was about to call the
hospital when you came in.

Well, then proceed.
Full steam ahead.

Ding-ding.

- Hello?
- Hello, max.

- I think we're onto something.
- What did you find out, 99?

Well, I was going through
bediyoskin's clothes

And I found something
that puzzles me.

In the pocket of
one of his jackets

I found six laundry tickets.

So what?

Max, why wouldn't he
use the hotel laundry?

This laundry is a good
two miles from here.

Hmm, you're right,
that is strange.

And another thing, max...

Oh, hold on a minute.





Chief, something
happened. 99 Is in trouble.

It may be a matter of life and
death. Hurry, max. We'll go in my car.

By your leave, admiral.

It's locked, we're gonna
have to break it down.

We can't do that, chief. We'll have
everybody on the floor out here.

We don't want to
attract attention.

Okay.

She's gone, chief.

She must have discovered something
that kaos didn't want divulged.

Maybe she left a clue behind,

She's been working
with me a long time.

She must have
picked up something.

Chief! Look at this.

I know that face.

max, it's bediyoskin.

I know that's bediyoskin, chief,

But I mean I've seen that
face somewhere else

On somebody else. But where?

What?!

The room is...

Chief, are you sure
the room is bugged?

Yes, but I have a plan. This
is our chance to save 99.

- Gotcha, chief. Great plan.
- You haven't heard it yet.

I know, chief, but I've got
a lot of confidence in you.

Kaos knows that either one of
us can lead them to bediyoskin.

Now we go back in there
and let them overhear

That one of us is going to him.

Kaos captures the one who
goes and the other follows.

- One of us goes, one of us follows.
- Right.

And one of us already knows
who goes and who follows.

- You go.
- Now both of us know.

Pardon me, can you tell me how
to get to 1235 alcazar street?

- I'm sorry, but I don't know.
- Then I'll show you.

Let's go, mr. Smart.

We're going to switch cars,
in case we're being followed.

You're heavily guarded. Don't
try to escape, or you'll be shot.

Get in.

Very clever. You kept 99
right here at the hotel.

In the very next
room to bediyoskin's.

Let's go.

Hold it. We'll take your g*n,

Just act as if nothing happened.

Good work, chief. I knew
they couldn't lose you

No matter how many
times they switched cars.

No, max, you can't do that.
Whoever's in there might k*ll 99.

Oh, you're right, chief.

Open up, it's me.

- It was a clever way of getting in, max.
- Yes. You see, chief,

"Me" is always someone
everybody knows.

Are you all right, 99?

Oh.

Quick, untie me, max.

Uh, have you got a knife?

There's one in my pocketbook.

Uh, which one is the knife...

The comb, the
compact or the mirror?

- The knife, max.
- The knife?! That's clever.

There's nothing in his
pockets but this laundry ticket.

Is it "three brothers omniwash"?

Yes.

There were six of those
in bediyoskin's pockets.

- 99, You follow this up.
- Right, chief.

Max, I've got to get back
to control. You bring him in.

Right, chief.

Seven hours have
gone by, america,

And we have yet to hear
from your government.

therefore we deem it
necessary to start demonstrating

the horrible power
of formula 6076767.

First, we'll dry up
small bodies of water

To prove the power
of the formula.

then, unless our demands
are met in the next 41 hours,

We will proceed to dry up america's
most essential bodies of water...

The mississippi river,
the colorado river

And all the great lakes.

This is mark danderfield
speaking for kaos, incorporated,

A delaware corporation.

A delaware corporation?!

Tax purposes. Max,
we've got to move fast.

- What did you learn about our prisoner?
- Name's henry frack.

Henry what? - Frack!

Has nothing to do with kaos.

Chief, I checked
out the laundry.

It seems legitimate enough,
but I'm still keeping it

- Under close surveillance.
- Nothing but dead ends.

Well, 99, this is admiral
hargrade who's now in charge.

How do you do?

It's still the clock, max.

Hello, maxwell smart here.

What?!

You're kidding! Hold on.

Chief, kaos has just
struck and struck hard.

They've dried up florida's
two largest bodies of water...

Lake okeechobee and the swimming
pool at the fontainebleau hotel.

hello, anything else?

I see. Thank you.

Admiral, the whole
country is in a panic.

The network says the
switchboard is swamped.

We've gotta do
something and do it fast.

Well, our chances
are slim... Hopeless.

We are facing imminent disaster.

I must go on the air

- And speak to the public.
- What are you gonna tell them?

That everything is fine.

I'd better go on and call
the president right away

And ask him to go
on the air with me

And reassure the nation.

Would somebody
give me a little push?

Thank you, my dear.

Chief: thanks, larrabee.

- What is it, 99?
- They're bulletins, chief.

"People all over the country
have started hoarding water."

"Water prices are skyrocketing.
The governor of california

Just put a 10¢ tax on water."

"Mexico has offered us
all the water we need."

Tell them, "thanks anyway."

Our only hope seems
to be russell bediyoskin,

And yet if he regains consciousness,
we have no assurance he'll talk.

How odd it is that the
destiny of our country

Should be in the
hands of an actor.

Who would ever have
thought that could happen?

You know, I don't even know
what this man looks like.

Is he a well-known actor?

Well, if you saw his
face, you'd know him.

Uh, I have a picture
of him, admiral.

Oh, you must be quite
a fan to carry around

- A photograph this large.
- No, sir. See, it's just...

Wait a minute,
this man looks like

- Dr. Waldo smith.
- I'm afraid you're mistaken.

Wait a minute, chief.
Of course, that's it...

- The mustache.
- What mustache?

Bediyoskin doesn't
have a mustache.

No, but dr. Waldo smith does.

Russell bediyoskin
is my brother.

Then your real name
is waldo bediyoskin.

No, russell's
real name is smith.

He changed it to bediyoskin
when he went into the movies.

You know how actors are.

Was your brother
ever in this laboratory?

- Oh, yes.
- Then he had access to the formula.

Well, yes, but I can't
believe he would steal it,

- Not russell.
- Chief, the admiral's on television.

He's going to
introduce the president.

- Have you a set?
- Yes, right over here. Pardon me.

and so I repeat,
fellow citizens,

There is no cause for alarm.

Not over an hour ago

We located and captured

The television station

From which kaos
was broadcasting.

It was located right here...

Uh-oh...

In the middle of
the arizona desert.

Yes, that's the place.

And now I take great pleasure

In bringing you the president

Of the united states.

But first a word
about deodorants

That really work.

Hello? Yes, it's the chief.

What? We'll be right over.

- What is it, chief?
- Bediyoskin just came to,

But the doctor doesn't know
how long he will remain conscious.

We'd better get over the
hospital right away, chief.

That's right, chief. If bediyoskin
has regained consciousness,

- We'll want him to talk to us, not kaos.
- That's right. Let's go.

How is he?

He's regained consciousness,
but he's terribly weak.

Mr. Bediyoskin,
I'm maxwell smart.

remember me?

Who has the formula?
Please, you've got to tell us.

It's the only way to keep
kaos from k*lling you.

- Max, he won't talk.
- He can't talk.

He wants your pen. He
wants to write something.

I don't think he
has the strength.

Just write the name of the
man who has the formula.

No, it's too strenuous. I can't
let him exert himself any more.

- Please.
- He must rest.

- What has he written, max?
- I can't make out his handwriting.

- Can you, chief?
- No, I can't.

Well, it's a good thing
we're in a hospital.

All we have to do is to
get a hold of a pharmacist.

Anybody who can read a
prescription can read anything.

Please, could you talk outside?

All right, doctor. But if
he regains consciousness,

Please call us.

Looks like initials to me.

Wait a minute, chief, that's it.

He hasn't the strength to
write the full name, so he...

Max, the man on the crutches!

he's a kaos agent. Stop!

The old g*n-
in-the-crutch trick.

Max, the chief's been hit!

- Chief, are you all right?
- Go after them, max.

- No, chief, I can't leave you.
- I'll be all right, max.

No, chief. Nurse! Nurse!

Nurse, this man has been hit.

We've gotta get him
into a room... Surgery.

Have you got hospitalization?

Do you have your card with you?

No, you see, you
don't understand.

He didn't know this
was gonna happen.

He will have to go to
the admittance office.

- You'll have to leave a deposit.
- He's been wounded.

Well, I'm sorry,
those are the rules.

Well, look, could I buy a
dollar's worth of bandages?

Max, look out!

- Chief, it's ticking.
- It's a foot grenade.


Blow out the whole floor.

- Right, chief.
- It's gonna explode, get rid of it, max!

- Right, chief.
- You've got 10 seconds.

- What?
- You've got seven seconds!

Max, there's only
four seconds left!

Max.

- That was a close one, chief.
- I'm proud of you, max.

- I'm sorry... I...
- Don't try to talk, chief.

Try to save your strength.

Oh, max.