05x20 - How Green Was My Valet

[bunniefuu]

- Come on, 99.
- Right, max.

Nothing looks disturbed, 99.

Looks like we got
here before kaos.

Then the formula
must still be here, max.

No, 99.

Dr. Harper never put that
formula down on paper.

When he d*ed a half hour ago

That formula d*ed with him.

Well, then what are we
supposed to be looking for?

Well, our job is to
find a nuclear fuel.

Then get a sample of it, take
it back to the control lab

And have it analyzed.

Well, how do we know
what it's gonna look like?

Well, it's a red liquid,

And it'll be in a
quart container.

A quart? You mean that's
all there is in existence?

Yes, and it took 'em 10
years to make that much.

But that quart has enough power

To send a rocket to the
moon and back 25 times.

We'd better start
searching, max, and fast.

Right, 99.

Max! Are you all right?!

Shh! Keep your voice down, 99!

We don't want everybody
to know we're here.

- Look at this, 99.
- Did you find the fuel?

No, I found a salami.

- So what?
- So what?!

What would dr. Harper be doing
with a salami in his laboratory?

To make himself a
sandwich, I guess.

No, 99. That's exactly
what dr. Harper

Would like the person
who found this to think.

But after years of experience,

I've learned to look beneath
the surface of the obvious.

No, 99, a man of dr. Harper's
brilliance and intelligence

Would have to have
an ulterior motive

For leaving a salami here.

- Just as I thought.
- What's in there, max?

Rye bread, mustard...

Pickles,

And this container.

What's in it?

Cherry soda.

- Sour.
- Sour cherry soda?

Well, it's either
that or gasoline.

Max! The rocket fuel!

Would you try to calm down, 99!

- Where is it?
- In your hand, max.

Ooh! This rocket fuel.

All right, hand it over.

Kaos has waited for
this for a long time.

Now give it to me.

Max, are you all right?

I'm fine, 99.

Oh, max, he got
away with the fuel.

No, he didn't.

When it comes to muscatel,

No one can match the
bulmanian vineyards.

Yes, mr. Ambassador.

I've been saving this for
just such an occasion.

Thank you, sir.

How long have you
been with us, waterhouse?

Four years, sir.

Four happy years.

To my faithful valet
and trusted friend,

May you be happy for
the rest of your life.

Thank you, sir.

And as for you,
widow waterhouse...

But, sir, I am not a widow.

Ah!

As I was saying,
widow waterhouse...

There, there, widow waterhouse.

Try to get hold of yourself.

But why have you
poisoned my husband?

Two days ago, your
husband performed

A valuable service for kaos.

But then kaos decided that...

He knew too much.

And what is to become of me?

You're being sent
back to bulmania.

Oh, no. Not back to bulmania.

The car is waiting for
you in the driveway.

Goodbye.

Just a moment. Should
you ever mention a word

Of what you've seen here today,

Please bear in mind
that you have relatives

Living in chicago.

Well, that's that.

Now we're the only two
people in this country

Who know that the
nuclear rocket fuel

Is hidden here in the embassy.

Splendid. What
else is on the agenda

For this morning, zachary?

Well, at 10:30, you're
dedicating the children's wing

At the new hospital.

at 12:00, there's a luncheon
with the peace council;

And at 2:00, you're to meet

The new valet, and
his wife the maid.

You hired them through
the proper channels?

Oh, yes.

and they've been
thoroughly screened.

I do hope my new valet

Is as good as the
late mr. Waterhouse.

- That was much better, max.
- What do you mean

It "was much better, max"?

That's the fourth
time I've fallen down.

How could it be much better?

This time, you got all
the way to the stairs.

Chief, it's no good.

I can't walk around with my
head held up high like that.

I'm not cut out to be a valet.

But, max, you've got to learn.

That's how we're going to get
inside the bulmanian embassy.

I don't understand it. We
know the formula is there.

Why don't we just
walk in and take it?

I wish it were that simple, max,

But there is such a thing
as diplomatic immunity.

That embassy is the same
as a little piece of bulmania.

But how are we gonna get
hired at the embassy, chief?

That's all been
taken care of, 99.

I'll get it.

- Hi, max.
- Oh, hi, larabee.

- Is the chief here?
- He's right over there.

We've intercepted a message
from the bulmanian embassy.

- Good work, larabee. Where is it?
- I swallowed it.

- You what?!
- I had to, I was being followed.

But I read it before
I swallowed it, chief.

- Good, what did it say?
- I don't know, it was in code.

- You didn't understand it?
- I could understand part of it, chief.

- The part that was written in english.
- And what did that say?

"Swallow this if
you're being followed."

I'll get it.

Hello? Yes, mother.

What happened to your car?

Oh, that's terrible!

Okay, I'll talk to you tomorrow.

What is it, 99?

Well, I can't go on the
assignment with max, chief.

My mother can't come to babysit and
I'll have to stay home with the babies.

But 99, you've got to!

A courier is coming to the
bulmanian embassy tonight

To take the rocket
fuel out of the country!

We've got to get it
before the courier does!

Well, chief, somebody
has to stay with the twins.

Larabee and I will babysit.

You'd... Do that for us, chief?

We'd be happy to, max.

Chief, can I see
ya for a second?

What is it?

Larabee, are you crazy?
You can't ask them for money.

You two better get going,
you don't have much time.


About the twins.

They'll be in good hands.

Hand.

- What is it, zachary?
- Maxwell and nina are here, sir.

Ah. Send them in.

The ambassador will see you now.

Sorry about that.

Don't bother, I'll get it.

Eh...

I'll have that
cleaned up in a jiffy.

Cease! Don't bother.

I understand. It's your
first day on the job

And you're trying to
make a good impression.

So, why did you stop me?

I expect you'll want to
get settled immediately.

Zachary will show you to your quarters
in a moment and explain your duties.

Would you please wait outside?

Uh, yes, we want to
get started right away.

Uh, come on, nina.

I can't understand

How the agency could
send over a team like that.

Yes, it's hard to believe that
anyone could be that inept.

I think I'll put him
through a security check.


House from top to bottom

And there is no sign
of the rocket fuel.

What about the wine
cellar in the basement?

Well, I tried to get in,
but the door was locked.

Look, I'd better get this
tea in to the ambassador.

But, max, we've gotta find
the key to the wine cellar.

Look, you serve the tea
and I'll search the house.

- Right, I'll keep him occupied.
- Right, max.

- max! Be careful!
- don't worry, 99, I'll be careful.

- Sugar?
- Uh, yes, two.

Maxwell,

We have a 48-piece tea
service in this embassy.

You have about 104 now, sir.

- Will there be anything else?
- No.

I would like you to polish

The wineglasses on the buffet.

As you say, sir.

Hello? Oh, yes. Just
a moment, please.

It's security with a new
combination for the wall safe.

Behind the picture.

Take this down, zachary.

Left 42,

Right 17,

left 58,

right 4,

Left 36.

- Have you got that?
- Uh, yes, sir.

Thank you, security.

Memorize that, zachary,
then destroy the paper.

Yes, sir.

I almost forgot senator
fillmore's cocktail party.

We'd better hurry,
zachary, or we'll be late.

Oh, maxwell, we're going
out for a few hours,

We shall dine at 8:00.

The trap is set.

I'll give him just two
minutes to take the bait.



Or... Is that 22 right?



And 22 left.

Got it.

So!

- What are you doing over there?
- Uh, well, you told me

To polish the glasses, sir.

Oh, yes.

So I did.

I think you're going to
be all right, maxwell.

Thank you very much, ambassador.

We seem to be low on wine.

And glasses. I'll go
down to the wine cellar

And get some more
if you'd like, sir.

No thank you. I'll take
care of that myself.

It's really no trouble
at all, mr. Ambassador.

- I'd be glad to go down.
- I'm the only one in this house

Permitted to go into
the wine cellar, maxwell.

remember that.

There's really nothing to this.
All you need's a little practice.

That's all perfect.

Aren't we supposed to
be doing this on the baby?

We tried that, larabee,
and it didn't work.

Now all I have to do
is slip this on the baby.

We'll have you fixed
up in a jiffy, sweetheart.

Larabee, bring me
the baby powder.

I couldn't find it, chief,
but I found this corn starch.

There we are. Perfect.

That must be 99.

Hello. Chief, it's 99.

Thank you. Hello, 99.

- Hello, chief. How are the twins?
- They're just fine, 99.

Hold on a minute, chief.

- What is it, max?
- I just found the key to the wine cellar.

It's around the
ambassador's neck.

- What is it, 99?
- Chief, we think that the rocket fuel

Is hidden in the wine cellar.

Max finally found the
key, but unfortunately

It's around the
ambassador's neck.

- What do you think you're doing?
- Well, you see, sir,

I've always felt
that a good valet

Should see that his master
is comfortable and relaxed,

So I brought your pajamas.

In the first place, I have a
great deal of work to do.

Secondly, I don't, as a rule,

Wear my pajamas
unless I am in bed.

Oh.

Yes, well, why don't you
take off your shirt, sir?

- You'd be a little cooler that way.
- But the room isn't too warm.

Well... Well, how about
taking your scarf and...

Will you stop fussing
over me, maxwell?!

If you really want to be helpful,
you may pour me a glass of wine.

Oh, you don't want
a glass of wine, sir.

- That'll just make you sleepy.
- Maxwell!

Well, if you take
a glass of wine,

You'll just doze off
and go to sl... S... Uh...

Glass of wine, yes sir.
That's a very good idea, sir.

- Right away, sir.
- And take that stuff with you.

This stuff, yes, sir.

Here we are, sir.

Ah. There's nothing like
a glass of bulmanian wine.

Ah, you look much
better already, sir.

Here, have another one.

So many things require my
personal attention, maxwell...

Paperwork as you can surely see.

Thank you, maxwell.

Now you sit down and
have a little drink with me.

I want to talk to you.

Oh, I couldn't
possibly do that, sir.

- You see, I'm on duty.
- Well, of course you could.

Now bring a chair,
maxwell, bring a chair.

I don't care what zachary says,

I like you, maxwell.

Now we'll have a
little of this fine wine.

Don't you think? There we are.

To me, maxwell.

Uh, to me, maxwell.

Ah! Now then, this
is a fine vintage.

The finest, I think,
of all the bulmanians.

To... You again, maxwell!

Eh... W... W... Hold it, sir.

W... W... Why don't
we drink to him?

- Him?
- Uh, yes, him.

Him... Ah, yes!

the grand duke...
To the grand duke!

Ah, I never liked
him much. He's a bore.

Now then, just one
more little drink, yes?

One for you and one for me.

To zachary!

Uh, I'm terribly sorry, sir,

But I couldn't possibly
drink another drop.

Maxwell, in bulmania,

We measure the worth of a man

By how well he holds his wine!

To zachary!

Why not?

A toast!

There's no more wine.

I'll give you my key.

Where is my key?

More wine! Maxwell, more wine.

One of these
bottles is not wine, 99.

It's the rocket fuel.

But max, there are
hundreds of bottles here.

How are we ever gonna
know which one the fuel's in?

The one you have
your hand on, maxwell.

The one with the
"x" on the label.

- You're sober!
- Cold sober.

But I don't understand,
that can't be.

You drank 21 bottles of wine.

How can you still
be standing up?

I have to stand up.

If I lie down, I
get deathly ill.

Mr. Ambassador, the
courier has just arrived.

Ambassador: splendid.

Give him this rocket fuel. It must
be on its way to bulmania tonight.

Right away.

Hold it... Right there.

Any attempt to stop zachary

Will result in your
immediate demise.

And now the masquerade is over.

Your name, please.

Maxwell smart of control.

Delighted to meet
you, mr. Smart.

And this charming lady...

Is mrs. Maxwell smart.

Ah, madam.

Good work, max!

Come on, 99. We've gotta
try and stop zachary.

Max, wait a minute,
I smell something.

Well, of course
you smell something.

That man just drank


But max, it smells
like gasoline.

- Gasoline?
- Max!

That's the bottle
with the rocket fuel!

Well, then, that means that
zachary is on her way back to bulmania

With a bottle of
plain, red table wine.

And there's enough fuel
left for control to analyze.

Yes, well, we've
done it again, 99.

But no one is to know
about this except us.

Here, hold this. I'll
check in with control.

Right, max.

This is maxwell
smart reporting in.

It is my pleasure to inform you

That we have found
dr. Harper's rocket fuel.

The kaos ambassador
is our prisoner,

And once again the forces
of niceness and goodness

Have triumphed over the forces

Of evil and rottenness.

Huh?

Oh, thank you.

Wrong number.