05x06 - Try to Remember This Kind of September

[bunniefuu]

Dharma, where are my pajama bottoms?

On me.

I got cold.

You took my pants off?!

You take my pants off all the time.

Yeah, when you're awake.

Hey, if you go make some coffee
I might let you get in your pants.

Oh, good morning.

Good morning.

It is a great day?

Dharma, there's a person out here.

I'm sorry, I'm September.

-Hi!
-Hi! -I am Greg.

-Oh, September!
-Hi!

Oh honey, this is September,
we grew up on the commune together.

Isn't that nice?

I thought you were gonna be here
on Friday.

You know how it goes, I stopped
and talked to some migrant workers,

and before you know it, I was picking squash
and ragging it on El Jefe.

-Yeah.
-I really should go to put some pants on.

He's not putting on pants
because of me, is he?

No, he's a lawyer,
he has to wear them for work.

Nermeen Roshdy
+971561234154.

Season 5 _ Episode 6
Try to Remember This Kind of September.

Enjoy watching the episode!

-Hey Honey.
-Hey.

Dharma,
something out there smells like...

whatever's in here.

September is cooking.

Is she cooking tires?

I heard that.

This would be an awkward moment if you...

hadn't already seen me with my pants off.

Really Dharma, I never thought
you'd live someplace with...

a microwave, a cuisinart, and a lawyer.

Actually the microwave and the cuisinart came
with the lawyer, it was a set.

The astronaut came with boots and a helmet

I don't get it.

Honey, we're gonna go to Abby & Larry
for a macrobiotic potluck dinner.

September only eats food
from the local ecosystem.

Right on.

Everything in this salad was harvested
from within a 10 mile radius.

Here try some.

That's not bad.

Most of the greens I found growing
in the cracks right in front of your building.

I step on these weeds everyday,
never even thought of eating them.

What are the...
what are the crunchy things?

You know, I never know what they call them,
are they pill bugs or they are roly-polys.

They are pine nuts, Greg,
and I saw that coming.

I thought you're allergic to pine nuts?

I am, they're bugs.

-Did I just eat bugs?
-No of course, I'm just kidding.

Oh, my casserole is burning.

What was it doing before?

Is she staying long?

I haven't seen her in 15 years, the least
we could do is let her make fun of you.

Sure.

What are you doing with all this stuff?

-I'm giving them away?
-Why?

Because my life's gotten too cluttered.

Everything September owns
fits in one backpack.

Well she eats weeds.

And so you eat bugs.

You got to be careful, you stop owning things
and they start owning you.

Don't worry, I'm not gonna give away
any of your stuff.

I know you can't live without your things.

Hold on, what things can't I live without?

All of your little electronic buddies.

The TV, your computer,
your electronic shaving cream warmer.

I have a coarse beard, the heat softens it.

OK, we should get going guys

because once this stuff separates
there's no getting it back together again.

If you don't mind, maybe I will
just stay here and watch some football.

On your best friend Mr TV?

Let's not start judging
each other's friends here.

Hey, look what I found.

Oh doesn't that bring back memories?

Boy! You think it would.

I know that Halloween when we dressed up
like endangered baby harp seals,

then we went trick-or-treat
on all the first stores.

When I worked with Greenpeace
I wound up living with harp seals.

Wow really?!

Yeah, we had stopped these hunters but
there was these two baby seals

and they had imprinted on me,
so I had to stay until they were weaned.

Dharma hand-fed a baby bird
that fell out of a nest once.

It d*ed.

Oh look at that, we are out of tea.

While I'm up, does anyone want any dessert?
Abby made a flour less organic carrot cake.

Do we know how far away
those carrots were grown?

No, you're right, we don't.

You know what,
I'll go see if the crab apples are ripped.

Did I tell you I ran into Treehouse Bob
from the commune when I was in Costa Rica.

No kidding.

Treehouse Bob McCluskey,
or Treehouse Bob Dawson?

What a shame, those crab apples are not ripe.

Oh we have figs.

Oh, good figs.

Aren't you proud of September, Dharma?

It's so easy to drift away from our ideals,
but she really stayed the course.

Three hunger strikes in one year.

It's not such a big deal,
she's a really picky eater.

Let me try again.

Dharma, you should have brought
your video camera.

I know there was going to be
fig juggling I would have.

And that's how Fig Newton discovered gravity.

-All right, it's getting late, September.
-Actually, it's mid-October.

This is fun, but we should go
because I'm getting a little tired.

Really I'm not. I guess I'm still
in Amsterdam time.

You and me both.

Honey, you could just stay here.

You could use Dharma's old room.

Really? That would be great
if that's OK with you.

It's more than OK, actually it was my idea I was
gonna say that before I got hit with the Fig.

So, I'll just call you and then
we'll get some coffee in the morning?

Well, only if we wake up in Brazil.

I was so joking.

And then...

she let us all in a song
that Nelson Mandela taught her.

Nelson Mandela, really?

I'm sorry but it's Nelson Mandela.

You're right, she's incredible.

Did I tell you she weaned seals?

So? You've saved that baby bird.

Sure.

Dharma, you are every bit as
good a person as September is.

Yeah, I'm every bit as good as she is.

I just need to fundamentally
change the way I live.

How?

For example, I know there's this cave you can live in
for five months out of the year.

I don't want to live in a cave.

What's your suggestion?

If you really want to simplify it.

I was thinking that maybe there was something
to what you were saying about the television

and maybe it wouldn't be the worst idea to

think about...

giving it away.

That's a great.

That's a great start.

-Where are you going?
-Go roll it down to the curb...

then it'll be gone by morning.

I was thinking after the Super Bowl.

-What you're watching?
-Streets of San Francisco.

Hey, I know that bar.

I was in that bar the night you were born.

-Where's Dharma?
-She's out pricing beehives.

She wants to turn our electricity off
and makes our own candles.

This is normal for her or has the pimento
slipped out of the olive?

Do you think I should say something or...

should I just be supportive
and let this play out?

Listen son, sometimes in a marriage...

a husband doesn't have a very clear understanding
of what's going on.

Uha?

That's it. Drink?

-Hey Abby!
-Hi Honey!

I made you something.

That's beautiful.

I was just out, communing with nature,
reconnecting with Mother Earth, you know me.

And I saw these flowers, they were
so beautiful and I thought of you.

Dharma...

-honey, these are golden poppies.
-Really.

-Yeah they're so pretty.
-No, we don't pick golden poppies, honey.

They're protected.

Apparently not very well.

You know what,

we'll put them in the compost and
and it can be our gift back to Mother Earth.

Good.

-Where's September?
-She's awesome she is with your father.

Boy they have been absolutely Inseparable.

She stayed up all last night
listening to him sing his Watergate rock opera.

-All five hours?
-Yeah.

Oh I never made it past,
"I suppose so Bibi revoso".

-Hi!
-Hi, what you got there?

Some camping stuff for Larry,

because he's a big baby
and he's afraid of little rain.

I sleep in my back
and I'm a mouth breather, I could drown.

-You guys going camping.
-Yeah.

You know that winter solstice trip your
mother and I always take to the desert?

Yeah

I figured I'd have to miss it this year
because of the baby.

But September wants to go.

I would have gone with you.

Pumpkin, you can come too.

We'll just have to get another one of these.

What is that?

I don't know but we only have two.

OK, let's try to set this step up.

Right we're gonna spend the night
in the backyard and test it out.

Don't bring us any food,
we're gonna live off the land.

They're gonna sleep together
out there in the backyard in the tent?

I guess so.

And you're fine with that?

What could be the problem?

Oh my God!

Larry, did you turn off the sprinklers?

There you are.

I was just catching up on some news.

From what I hear,
The Castaway is never get off the island.

It was a... I would...
what are you doing here?

-I needed to talk and you weren't at home.
-What's wrong?

September has the hots from my dad.

You mean like hots for sex.

Yes, hots and they're sharing a pup tent.

I don't know that expression.

It is small tent used for camping,

and they're sharing it tonight
in the backyard.

It doesn't mean that they're having sex,
that just means that they're...

really weird.

Gregory, Celia informed me
we don't own TV trays.

However, if you would like,

we can take a tray from the tea service
and put it on a luggage stand.

Never mind, mother.
Can you give us a minute?

All right.

Honey, I'm telling you my friend
is trying to seduce my father.

She gives him massages, she braided
his ponytail and then when he talks...

she gets this love sick dreamy look
in her eyes.

I'm sorry, this is Larry
that we're speaking about?

September hasn't seen your parents
in a long time.

They're kindred spirits, she obviously
likes your dad but not in that way.

I don't know,
I think Dharma is right to be suspicious.

-Mother.
-Gregory, you do not see what I see.

Come to a country club luncheon,

count the number of men there
with women one-third their age,

it is a national epidemic and
you cannot raise money to fight it.

You're not helping, mother.

It is everywhere, Gregory,
for heaven sake...

look, the gentleman with the ascot
being tempted by that young todd

wearing a sequin cocktail dress
in the middle of the day.

That's all she brought on the boat.

Kitty, what do you think I should do?

I could give you the name
of a private detective

that I have used from time to time,
he's very discreet.

Mother, she doesn't need to hire
a private detective.

Yeah, it's not like I don't know
what they're doing.

Darling, you don't know what they're doing.

What is he talking about?

The woman has a trunk full of clothes.

It sure is warm and
our camping trip in the desert.

Not for long.

Am I interrupting something?

No we're playing with our pants.

I have to go in the pen if we're going
to be sleeping in the backyard.

Yeah, I'll be right out.

I wouldn't want that goat
to ruin your little camp out.

-No, it wont.
-Because three's a Crowd, right?

Yeah I guess,
I mean when one of them is a goat.

Ok, I'm not good at being all that...
so let me say it.

Are you sleeping with Larry?

What?

No, how could you even think that?

What about all the
massages, the camping, the detachable pants?

I love my father but no one sits
through his whole Watergate Opera.

OK, I guess I could see how you thought that.

No Dharma.

Here's the deal,

I've never known who my father was,

and I didn't really care

but when my mom d*ed,
it felt really weird being all alone,

so I went through her letters and stuff
and I narrowed it down to five guys

that she might have had a relationship with.

Do you think Larry might be your father?

Maybe.

But the thing is
I didn't want to disrupt anybody's life

so I figured I would hang out
with each one of them

and that way I know that somewhere in there

I spent time with my dad.

OK, the tent is up.

No, false alarm.

-He is such a coll pall.
-I know.

I should have told you before.

OK, oh dam!

-I'm gonna give him a hand.
-OK.

The Dow industrial's down
about 12 and a half.

You were right, they're not having an affair.

I'm not going to say I told you so,
but I am going to make the face.

It's a TV?! It must have been
in there for months.

She was acting really weird
because she thinks Larry might be her father.

-Could he be?
-No.

Look, I went through Abby's picture drawer
and I found this.

It's their first day on the commune.

-There's Abby holding me there's Larry...
-With hair?

No he was coming it over it was a sweet dude.

And that's September's mom,

she's already pregnant
and that's the day she met Larry.

-Did you show her this?
-No, not yet.

She and Larry are having a sleepover,
it seemed like the right time.

I gotta say you kind of lucked out here.

What do you mean?

This way you won't have
to spend the rest of your life...

competing with a perfect sister who's out to
save the world and we can have a TV again.

-But I didn't give away the TV
to compete with her.
-Yes you did.

Obviously but don't make the face.

-Dharma!
-Hi.

Hey.

You didn't say goodbye.

Are we OK?

Yeah, yeah, we're fine.

-Listen, I'm gonna split tonight.
-Why?

I didn't want to screw up anybody's family
and I kind of feel that I am.

-No, you're not.
-No, I am.

I just was having so much fun with Larry.

He was the last guy on my list
and he's the only guy I really liked.

I hope he's my dad.

I hope he is too.

So I'll see you in a couple months right?

-Really, what for?
-For the camping trip.

Larry always gets us lost
in the middle of the desert...

you're the only one who knows
how to make a meal out of twigs and dirt.

Where are you off to?

Martin Sheen is gonna chain himself to
something this weekend,

so we'll help him out.

Bye.

There weren't really bugs
in the salad, were they?

Who would put bugs in a salad?

-You did a very nice thing there.
-Yeah.

-You want to go get yourself a new TV, don't you?
-Yeah.

-Do you want to talk or...?
-No, go, get picture in picture.

Thanks for watching