05x11 - The Evergreen Election!

[bunniefuu]

Bert:

Bert: I

Bert: I would

Bert: I would like

Bert: I would like to

Bert: I would like to
announce

Bert: I would like to
announce my

Bert: I would like to
announce my candidacy

in the upcoming election.

Cyril: Vote smart! Vote Sneer!

Thank you. You're too kind!

Bert: Cyril Sneer, watch out!

Mr. Willow: I have no
choice but to declare

Bert Raccoon...disqualified.

Narrator: This is the
Evergreen forest.

Quiet, peaceful, serene.

That is, until
Bert Raccoon wakes up.

Bert Raccoon: Yahoooo!

♪♪

Yeeeehaaaa!

Yikes!

Yaaaah...
[bam!]

[laughs]
[smash!]

Yeaaaah!

Narrator: Luckily, he has some
good friends to help him out.

Broo: [panting]

♪♪

Narrator: Life would be simple
in the forest except for...

Cyril Sneer!

[bleep blarp bloop]

And his life would be simple
except for...

the Raccoons!!

♪ [show theme music]

♪♪

♪♪

Narrator: It's election time in
the Evergreen Forest,

and everyone is talking about
the race for mayor.

Pig 1: Cyril Sneer for mayor!

Bert: Mr Sneer, all we've heard
from you are vague promises.

Cyril: When I'm mayor, I promise
you'll see lots of changes.

You wanna know what kind?

Vote for me and find out!

Now get off my case, Raccoon!

Melissa: I get the feeling
we're not going

to like Cyril's changes.

Ralph: We need
another candidate.

Bert: And I happen to know
just the guy for the job.

Ahem, excuse me,

I, Bert Raccoon,

would like to announce
my candidacy

in the upcoming election.
Cyril: What?!

Bert: And I challenge Mr Sneer
to debate the issues

on live television.

Vote Bert Raccoon for mayor!!
[applause]

Cyril: That's the
trouble with everyone

in the future-fearing-forest,

they can't see the
forest for the trees.

Once I'm mayor,
I'm going to make

some of my dreams come true.

Remember the Evergreen forest's

first and only tourist boom?

Since the monster,
Evie was spotted,

we've had a lot of
suckers, ehm, tourist.

And I know what they want.

This: Sneer's Monster theme park

to be built right here on the
shores of Evergreen Lake.

There will be 2,000 rooms,

eight restaurants
and a bowling alley,

not to mention
parking for 5,000!

It didn't quite work out, boys.

But remember that oil deal?

Oil! Black gold!

Texas tea! Mammoth, yeah,

what do you charge
for an oil rig?

That much, eh?

Yeah, yeah, I'll take a dozen.

That Raccoon messed
up that deal too!

Pig 1: Oh, yes boss, it's
been a long, hard road.

Pig 2: And things you
went through, boss.

The humiliation,
the embarrassment,

oh, the outrageous degradation.

Cyril: Have I got
something for you!

Lady Baden-Baden: Oh!
There's a man in here!

Cyril: Wait! Ladies!

Hunting, shmunting!

I'm going to show Knox what
making a business deal

is all about.

When I get through with him,

he'll be alligator.

Pig 3: No matter how
tough things got, boss,

you got tougher!

Cyril: Of all the plants
in all the world...

Owwwwch!

Lady Baden-Baden
has to grow cactus!

Oww!

Enough about the painful past.

It's the future we've
got to think about!

Now get out there
and tell the people

they can count on Cyril Sneer!

Melissa: You've got some good
thoughts here, Bert.

Let's just rework it.
Hm, that can go and that..

Bert: Gee..
Melissa: ..and this.

Bert: I-I can't do this stuff,

why would anyone vote for me?

Melissa: A lots of reasons.
Bert: Name one.

Melissa: You're resourceful.

Remember when the Prism
of Zenda went missing?

Bert: I suppose you're all
wondering why I called you here,

Cyril: Get on with it!

Bert: I, Bert Raccoon,
ace detective,

am about to reveal
the whereabouts

of the Prism of Zenda.

Cyril: Hurry up!

Bert: Triumph is to
be savored, Mr Sneer.

Now let's review the facts.

Cyril: Do we have to?
Bert: One..

The gem disappeared in the dark,

but the lights were off
for only a few seconds

and when the
lights came back on,

the pedestal was still rocking.

Two, everyone has
looked everywhere

a gem could be hidden.

Except one place.

Cyril: Where? Where?

Bert: Cedric, your
spectacles, if you please.

Notice how glass is almost
invisible underwater.

Cyril: So?!

Bert: The same is true
for crystals!

Crystals like...

The Prism of Zenda!!!!

Yeah, I can handle
a mystery, but..

Cedric: Now Bert, I think
you can handle anything!

Gosh, I'll never forget when
that bully was out to get me.

Uaaaaah!

Yaaaaaah!

Bert: Cedric, it's me!

It's me, Bert!

Bert/Cedric: Uaaah!

Cedric: Ah! Oh, Bert,

am I glad to see you!

I thought you were Bonneville.

Bert: Are you ready to go?
Cedric: You bet, I am!

And I'm not going to worry about
Bonneville anymore tonight.

Bert: That-a-boy, Cedric!
And maybe we can figure out

some way to get that
bully out of your hair!

Bonneville: Cedric!

Cedric: Yessiree Bert, you stood
beside me in my darkest hour.

Bert: And now you found us, so
what are you gonna do about it?

Bonneville: I just
wanna talk to Cedric.

Look, Cedric, I've been..

Bert: Well, he doesn't
wanna talk to you.

There's no way out.

Heyyy!

[bam!]
Oh-oh!

Bentley: We can always
count on you, Bert,

but you know what else
a great statesman needs?

Imagination. And
let's face it, Bert,

all you need is a top hat,
and voila.

♪♪

And who else can turn
a hike in the hills

into a trek through time?

Bert: This looks like
a
pretty hairy situation

here at the beginning of time.

[loud scream]

[laughs] They don't
make dinosaurs

like they used to, eh Broo?

Ralph: We're not
just saying this, Bert.

You do have what it
takes to be a leader.

Ralph: I suppose
I have been known to

plunge into the
odd new situation.

Uuuuh-oh!

Yeaaaah! Au!

[crashing sounds]

You're right!
I can win the race for Mayor!

Cyril Sneer, watch out!

Cyril: And in conclusion,
I can only say,

Vote smart. Vote Sneer.

Thank you. Thank you.
[applause]

Well, how was I, coach?

Brilliant? Stunning,
captivating?

Lady Baden-Baden: Uuuh....

Cyril: You've been a great help,
Lady Baden-Baden.

What with your extensive
background in the theater.

Tell you what.
As soon as I'm Mayor,

I'll get you a cushy job
in my administration.

How does assistant
to the mayor sound?

Lady Baden-Baden: Ooooh....
I don't think so,

you and I don't really
see eye-to-eye

on many issues, do we?

Uh now, you take this
tape home, and study it.

Cyril: Thanks, Lady Baden-Baden.

Melissa: Okay, Bert, you've
got a few things lined up

before the TV debate with
Cyril this afternoon.

First, you're giving your speech

to the Ladies Flower guild...

Bert: Ah, Melissa
I've given about

a thousand speeches already.

Is this all politicians do?

♪ [marching music]

Pig 1: Ladies and gentlemen,

we are here to tell you
to vote for Cyril Sneer!

Pig 2: Because he promises open
government behind closed doors.

Pig 3: Give and take,
for this and that,

here and there and now and then.

Uhm, thank you!

Pig 1: With that
in mind, who in here

is misguided enough
to vote for Bert Raccoon?

Audience: [cheering]

Pig 2: And now, those of
you who are going to vote

for the dynamic Cyril Sneer?

[loud burp]

Pig 3: Um, thank you!

Hit it boys!

♪ [marching music]

Pig 1: Things are
worse then we thought.

Let's face it, boys.

If the boss loses, we lose.

No cushy job as the
mayor's assistants.

No big office.

No 3 hour lunches.

Pig 2/3: [crying]

Pig 2: What are we gonna do?

Pig 1: Get a grip
on yourselves, guys.

There's only one
honorable thing we can do.

Pigs: Cheat like crazy!

[giggle]

♪♪

Cyril: Feast your baby
blue eyes on this, Knox.

Lumber mills, steel smelters,

auto plant, cement factories.

All the good stuff you and I
have been fighting for.

When I'm mayor,
we'll have it all.

Knox: Uhm..
Cyril: Uh-oh,

Now, before you say no,
Knoxie, old chum,

just think about all the
favors I've done for you

in the past, buddy.

Why, I even babysat
your nephew Bonneville,

Bonneville: I said,
give me the car keys!!

Pig 1: No way, Jose!

This is the boss's car!

Pig 2: He'll send us
to the smokehouse

if we let anyone drive it!

Pigs: Nya-nya-nya-nya-nya!

Nya-nya-nya-nya-nya!

Pfffftttt!

Brllllll!

Na-na-nya-nya-ny
a!

Nya-nya-nya-nya-nya!

Go away!

Pig 3: What do you
want, swamp breath?

Hey!!

[screaming]

Bonneville: Ready to
give me the car keys?

Pigs: [screaming]

Cedric: What are you doing?

Pigs: [screaming]

Cedric: Stop that right now!

Cyril: Ha, ha!
Cute little Rascal, too.

Got a lot of spirit, that boy!

A chip off the old
Knox, hey? [chuckles]

What?! What do you want now?

And who took you in when you
needed a friend? Me, Knox.

I welcomed you into
my home with open arms.

Knox: .. in my
own deepest grief.

Cyril: What are you
babbling about, Knox?!

Knox: The fair
Lady Baden-Baden and I

have come to a
partin' of the ways.

Our marriage is over.

I'll be staying
in the back bedroom.

You don't mind, do you Sir?

Cyril: Ehm, but.. ehm..

Why, I even let you win at golf!

♪♪

[laughing]

♪♪

[laughing]

What?!

Knox: [laughing]

Cyril: Face it Knox,

there's nothing I
wouldn't do for you.

Nothing!!

♪♪

Knox: Ehm..
Cyril: Oh, no!

I know what you're
going to say and I agree.

Vote smart. Vote Sneer.

I'm glad we had
this little chat.

Knox: Uhm, uhm..

Cyril: [to himself] Sneer, you
were born to be a politician!

Melissa: And remember,
after the speech,

hand out these
flowers to the ladies.

Bert: Um, good
afternoon, ladies.

I'm honored to be
here at the, uh...

oh, the Flower Guild!

As a longtime resident
of the Evergreen forest,

I am in favor of, ahem,

diverse cultural activities.

One of my all time favorite
cultural events was

the Evergreen Air show.

It was a thrilling afternoon
of aerobatic artistry,

as our own Ralph Raccoon
flew the race of his life

in a dazzling display of...

well, you had to be there.

[vroooom]

Ralph: Uaaaah! Ooooh!

[bam!]

Ah! Uaaaaaaah!

Oaaaah! Oh boy!

[loud crash!]

Cyril: What's going on?

He'd better not crash!

That's my plane!

Ralph: Uaaaaah!

Woaaaaaah!
[plane humming]

[loud hum]
Spectators: [gasp]

Bert: Oh, no!

[loud crashing]

And as mayor,
I intend to bring you

more cultural activities

just like that one!

And now, ladies, I have a little

token of my appreciation
for each of you.

Ladies: [screaming]
Frogs: [ribbit]

Ladies: [screaming]

Pig 1: [sniffs] Oooh..

Pig 2: Assistants to the mayor?

Ohh, has quite a ring to it.

Pig 1: We've been training our
entire lives for this job.

The pinnacle of a long and
distinguished career.

♪ Here I go again,
falling out of line ♪

♪ Falling in with someone new

♪ Here I go again,
getting out of line ♪

♪ Forgetting there's
so much to lose ♪

♪ But I'm holding out for you

♪ Hoping that it's true

♪ I don't want somebody new

♪♪

♪ Struggling in the dark

♪ Lost when we're apart

♪ No one makes me feel
like you do ♪

♪ Here I go again,
falling for a line ♪

♪ No one but myself to blame

♪ Everywhere I turn,
searching for a sign ♪

♪ Fall victim to the
same old game ♪

♪ But I'm holding out for you

♪ Hoping that it's true

♪ I don't want somebody new

♪ Don't want nobody new

♪ Struggling in the dark

♪ Lost when we're apart

♪ No one makes me feel
like you do ♪

♪♪

♪♪






Pigs: [scream]

♪♪






Pig: Blllllll-bllllll!

♪♪

Pig 1: Moms going
to be so proud of us!

Pig 3: Executive
washrooms, here we come.

Pig 2: [cheering]

Cyril: And in conclusion,
I can only say,

'Vote smart. Vote Sneer!'

[laughs]
Cedric: Pop?

It's almost time for
your debate with Bert.

We better get down
to the station.

Cyril: [laughs]
I'll run rhetorical rings

'round that Raccoon.

Pig 1: Typical! The boss is
off gallivanting somewhere,

while we sl*ve over a
hot election campaign!

Pig 3: There's his honor now.

Pig 2: Hey, what's Lady
Baden-Baden doing there?

Cyril: Tell you what,
as soon as I'm mayor,

I'll get you a cushy job
in my administration.

How does assistant
to the mayor sound?

Pig 2: The boss is
gonna dump us

and hire Lady
Baden-Baden. Oh-oh-oh!

Pig 1: They always said, all it
takes was it dirty business.

Pig 3: Well, it's going
to get a lot dirtier.

Bentley: Three cheers for Bert!
Guests: Hip-hip-hooray!

Knox: Now, we begin taking calls

from our television audience.

The number is 555-K.N.O.X.

I said, 555...






Pig 1: I don't know
about this, Lloyd.

Pig 2: Shh! Do you want Lady
Baden-Baden to take our job?

Hello, Citizens forum?

My question is for Cyril Sneer.

Mr Sneer, isn't it true you put

money ahead of your own family?
Cyril: Nonsense!

Pig 2: Well, what about the
time JP Gordon was in town?

Cyril: Now hold on,
I-I can explain.

[phone ringing]






I was supposed to go to
Cedric's camp reunion,

but I was also supposed
to land a big contract.

Cedric: Oh, hi, Pop!

Cyril: Look, son, I don't think

I'll be able to make that train.

It's this deal I'm working on,

you know how important
it is, don't you?

Cedric: Um, I guess so, Pop.

Cyril: I just cannot leave

until I get the signature.

I may never have another chance.

You understand,
don't you, Cedric?

I'm doing this for you.

I'll go with you next year, son.

I promise.

Cedric: Sure, Pop!

Ha-ha, well, you know
how those things are.

Pig 2: I rest my case.

Bert: Ah, just hang on there.

You haven't got
the whole story.

It's what Cyril did after
he found Cedric's gift.

Cyril: What's this?!

If this is my birthday,
then where's that..

..cake?

To the best Pop in the world.

On the occasion

of our first Father-Son banquet.

Love, Cedric.

Ohh Cedric, what have I done?

I can just make it!

Hold that train!

Excuse me...
Cedric: [gasps]

Cyril: ..but is this seat taken?

Cedric: Pop, I thought
you weren't coming!

Cyril: What?
And miss your speech?!

Thanks for the cufflinks, son!

They're exactly what I needed

at just the right time.

And to think I almost
gave up a Father-Son banquet

to meet some snob
of a multi-billionaire.

I don't know what came over me.

Cedric: Ah, that's okay, Pop.

Bert: So, much as
I hate to admit it,

Cyril Sneer is not the
stinker you think he is.

Cyril: I am not?!

I mean, of course I'm not.

Thanks for the support, Raccoon.

I think you just
won me the election.

[laughs]

Mr. Willow:
Thank you, Mr Bostick.

Pig 1: Why couldn't that Raccoon
just keep his mouth shut?

We had the boss on the ropes.

Pig 2: We've got to make
sure that Raccoon gets

every vote he's got
coming to him!

Pig 3: Well, he's got
about 5,000 coming from
us.

[giggles]

Mr. Willow: Good
afternoon, everyone.

I've just finished toting up
the election results

and the final count is...
Cyril Sneer, 200 votes.

Bert Raccoon 5,331.

Audience: [cheering, applause]
Hoorray!

Bert: I won, guys!
I'm the mayor!!

Mr Willow: However,
I'm sorry to report

there is a serious
irregularity in the count,

which means...someone
stuffed the ballot box

with 5,001 fake votes!
Audience: [gasps]

Mr Willow: I have no
choice but to declare

Bert Raccoon disqualified.

Audience: Awwwww!
Ralph: What!?

Cyril: I'm mayor! Ha, me!!!
[laughs]

Ah, sweet, sweet victory!

Pig 1: I don't believe it!

If we hadn't rigged
the vote for Bert,

he would have won anyway!

Oh-ooooh!

Pig 2: We've got
one last chance, boys.

Cyril: [laughs]
Meet your mayor!

I love you!

Pig 3: Boss, ehm,
eheh, Mr Mayor?

Please don't fire us!

Pig 2: You can't hire
Lady Baden-Baden.

Cyril: What are you sniffling
sausages raving about?

I'm trying to enjoy
my victory here.

Pig 1: You'd never
have won without us.

We were the ones who
rigged the election!

Cyril: You did what?

Pig 3: You can't fire us
and hire Lady Baden-Baden.

You owe us.

Cyril: I owe you, alright.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I have an important
announcement.

The election was rigged by
these manipulating meatballs.

I demand another election.
Audience: Aaaah!

♪♪

Bert: Lady Baden-Baden wins

mayor's race by a landslide.

Cyril Sneer blames media.

Melissa: Don't you wish
you'd gotten back out

on the campaign trail, Bert?

Bert: Nah, I'm not really
cut out for the political life.

Lady Baden-Baden is
so much better choice.

Besides, I was
mayor for a minute.

Ralph: I wonder
how Cyril's taking

his second straight defeat?

Pigs: Uaaaah!






Cyril: You've got an
appointment, alright!

Cyril: An appointment with doom!

Pigs: Uaaaah!

♪ [show theme music]

♪♪

♪ When darkness falls

♪♪

♪ Leaving shadows in the night

♪♪

♪ Don't be afraid

♪♪

♪ Wipe that fear from
your eyes ♪

♪♪

♪ The desperate love

♪♪

♪ Keeps on driving you wrong

♪♪

♪ Don't be afraid

♪♪

♪ You're not alone

♪♪

♪ You can run with us

♪♪

♪ We've got everything
you need ♪

♪ Run with us

♪♪

♪ We are free

♪♪

♪ Come with us

♪♪

♪ I see passion in your eyes

♪ Run with us

♪♪