All right, guys.
Go straight. Go straight.
- Yeah. Stop!
No one's
gonna die today.
No one's gonna die.
This is the way.
Small town America
at its finest, honey.
This is nice.
Stop...
- What's so funny?
- Having fun back there?
Yeah.
Are you two fighting?
No, honey,
they're not fighting.
They're not fighting.
They're having fun.
- They're giggling.
- Where are we going?
This is where life happens.
- Get your hands off it.
Hey, guys, look!
The bridge!
Did you look?
Did you see the bridge?
- Look at that. Look at that.
- The bridge.
13 feet, 2 inches.
Why are your shoes wet?
Your shoes are wet, Dallas.
- Just get out of the car.
- Let's go.
Are my shoes actually wet?
No,
don't listen to your father.
He's an idiot.
This is nice, right?
The weather is perfect.
Yeah. Let's go down...
Let's go down
by the river, you guys.
- Where's Dallas?
- I think there's some--
- Can you see Dallas?
- Come on, let's go.
Wow, that's so cool.
Be careful, the water...
Okay.
You're so
concerned all the time.
Just don't... No.
- No.
- What? What, honey?
What? We can't be here forever.
- We gotta get back
on the road.
- Okay. All right.
- Stretch your legs, kids.
- We'll take you up.
Just take in the sights.
Every... Did you guys
see the bridge?
You saw the drawbridge, right?
- Yeah.
- Okay. Hey, Dallas,
buddy, if you were any fish,
what would you be?
What kind of fish?
- Shark.
- Shark?
- Is a shark even a fish?
- Did you say shark?
- Yes.
- You'd be a shark?
- Shark's not a fish.
- Yes, it is.
If you were anything,
if you were
an aquatic creature...
-Jellyfish.
-Jellyfish?
So you can sting people?
Mmm-hmm. Definitely.
With your sharp,
teenage bitterness?
That's great.
Oh, look at those clouds, honey.
Isn't that beautiful?
You're so pretty.
-So...
-Kevin?
-Yeah.
-Okay.
Okay. All right.
You guys ready to go?
Tell me where we are!
- I know where we f*cking are!
- Dad.
- Just read the f*cking map!
- Whoa, little lady!
Lizzie Kyle, we do not speak
like that in this family.
Dad just said, "f*ck."
- Oh, Lizzie. Come on.
- Enough.
Haven't you gotten enough
of Mom and Dad arguing?
Did you hear that?
What is that?
- What?
- In there.
Oh, my God.
Go grab Dad.
Cool.
What's up, y'all?
Jeremy J here.
Raising skirts and IQs.
Welcome to another edition
of Monster Soup.
Frogman. Said to be four feet
in height with leathery skin.
He's been spotted wandering
the woods of Loveland,
conducting rituals
with his wand.
This wand
has led to speculation
that he could be an alien
with advanced technology.
But others say
he is the river monster
of native local legend.
This more mystical origin
lends validation to the reports
that he may be telepathic
and can infiltrate your mind.
Your mind,
not Jeremy J's mind.
This is a steel trap.
Frogman entered
the social zeitgeist in 1975
when this photo taken
by Loveland local George Hale,
circulated in national papers.
The more infamous sighting
took place in '99,
when a 10-year-old
named Dallas Kyle
captured the footage
we've all seen.
Oh, my God.
Is there a real Frogman?
Did Dallas Kyle actually
capture the footage of it?
Let me think for a second.
Ding dong, dipsticks.
Jeremy J calls bullshit.
Bullshit.
Let's talk about the now
32-year-old Dallas Kyle.
He graduated with a degree
in directing in 2011,
and since, he's apparently
directed two short films.
For a 10-year-old,
this is a pretty
impressive hoax.
But it also seems like
this is where Dallas Kyle's
filmmaking career
seems to have peaked.
Anyways, that is
the scoop on the soup...
This f*cking guy.
I peaked...
What's your career,
being a f*cking troll?
You know what?
I guarantee you.
You would be weeping,
and sh1tting yourself
if you saw what I saw.
You dumb d*ck.
Today I start my search
for Frogman.
But I can't do it alone, so...
Hey, Dallas.
How's it going, man?
Just eating some breakfast.
Breakfast?
I'd say it's more like lunch.
It's 2:00 p.m. in the afternoon.
Well, I just woke up.
-So technically,
it's my breakfast.
-Yeah, hmm.
Froggy Pebbles. Nutritious...
Say, Lizzie told me
that you were dating somebody.
Did she?
Yeah. I was.
We broke up.
Oh, man. I'm, I'm sorry
to hear about that.
Um...
Hey, do you mind
if we talk real quick?
Isn't that kind of
what we're doing right now?
Well, it's about last night.
Ben,
I know I was too loud.
-Yeah.
-It won't happen again.
I'm really sorry.
I appreciate you guys letting me
stay here for a little bit.
And frankly, I need
to be more respectful.
I appreciate you saying that.
I really do.
Um...
When Lizzie and I
agreed to letting you
stay here for a little bit...
um, it was more temporary.
But now it's been two years
that you've been
in the guest room.
And, you know,
I never put a hard date
on kicking you out.
I just would never do that.
But it is now the time for you
to start considering,
you know, a new place.
Let's see
what we got here.
Now we're talking.
Okay.
Oh, let's see.
Ooh!
There's my baby.
Hey, guys.
sh*t!
What's up, guys?
I just wanted to hop on here
and...
Just f*cking hop on here.
That's f*cking stupid.
What's up, guys?
Hey, y'all.
g*dd*mn.
People keep saying
that my Frogman footage is fake.
And that I'm a liar.
But I know what I saw that day.
And I'm going to get
irrefutable proof
that the Frogman exists.
But I can't do it alone.
Lucky for me...
My best friend
is also my cameraman.
And he's going to be joining me
on this little adventure.
No.
No f*cking way.
-Come on, Scotty. I need you.
-sh**ting a wedding
this weekend.
-So...
-You hate sh**ting weddings.
Yeah, but I like money.
I'll pay you.
You don't need me.
You can operate that
piece of sh*t yourself.
"Piece of sh*t"?
How dare you?
This is the camera.
I got the original footage on.
It's symbolic.
Dallas, I know you're
not familiar with the concept,
but I'm working.
So please, f*ck off.
We can talk tomorrow
at Amy's thing. All right?
What do you mean,
"Amy's thing"? What thing?
Her going away party.
Going away party?
Where is she going?
I thought you knew.
She's, uh...
She's moving to LA.
No, we we haven't
really been talking.
Well, I think you should come.
Am I even invited?
I think I'm overdressed.
I don't know
if this was a good dress.
Well,
it's a going away party.
You look like you're dressed
for a coke deal.
I'm kidding.
You look great.
You look great.
There she is.
Amy! Girl.
Hey, what's with the camera?
Oh, I have to
document your last night.
-Oh, thank you.
-Oh, you looking so good.
You too.
-Hey.
-Hey. Hi.
Thanks... Thanks for coming.
Thanks for having us.
Yeah, of course.
-So nice to see you.
-Good to see you.
Mmm. Scotty, I think
we should just nick.
Stop being dramatic, all right?
We don't have
to stay that long.
I just want to have,
like, one drink.
One drink.
- Yeah, one drink.
- Scotty.
Yes.
One drink.
Amy, we're so excited for you.
We know you're
gonna be a big star.
Don't forget us
when you get famous.
Yeah. Amy, you're making
that big move to LA.
That's the one
we're all trying to make here.
But most of us won't.
So good luck. Love you.
We're proud of you.
We love you!
Well, I guess
I should do one of these.
Hello.
Want some company?
Uh...
Yeah, you've been
avoiding me.
No, I... I just didn't wanna
interrupt your big party.
Yeah. No, I mean...
In general...
In general?
I don't... I don't recall
you reaching out to me either.
When were you gonna
tell me you were moving?
I did.
You told me you were
thinking about it.
Yeah, and last month
I went to LA
and met with
talent agents, one signed me.
I think that my career has gone
as far as it can go here.
What are you talking about?
I see you in commercials
all the time.
Yeah.
Yeah, local commercials.
I don't wanna do those
for the rest of my life.
I want to do... movies.
Be in my movies.
Right, Dallas.
Like, real movies.
You know?
No, no, no offense.
I wasn't...
Well...
I'm making a real movie.
Oh! Really?
Yeah.
Okay. About?
-Uh...
-Frogman.
Oh, my God.
Driving up
to Loveland tomorrow.
Hey, you left me.
We did not leave you,
would never.
Uh, I thought he had left.
I'm sorry.
I'm a little f*cked up.
Little bit. What are you guys
chatting about?
We're chatting about...
Frogman.
Well, speaking of Frogman, um,
is that offer
still on the table for me
to help you sh**t that film?
Yeah.
-All right. Count me in.
-Are you serious?
Yeah, I'm serious.
Okay, Scotty...
I'll do it. You know what?
Dude, I have nothing to lose.
If I have to sh**t
another f*cking wedding video...
I'm gonna lose it.
I'm gonna lose it.
-I told you.
-I can't do it.
You should come.
She should come.
Oh, you should come.
You guys, I...
No, I just told you
I've got a lot to pack.
Yeah, but can you imagine,
like putting it on your reel?
Like, Frogman?
What if I paid you?
You will pay me?
Pay me to just come with?
Be the star of my movie.
-Right?
-Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, that's... Yes.
This is... This is fate.
This is fate.
This is...
Hey, this thing's
already recording.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
- What do you say?
- I guess I...
I can't let you two
get lost in the woods
without me.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Wait. Is that a yes?
Yes!
Oh, f*ck! f*ck! Yes!
Holy sh*t!
The band is back together.
The band is back together.
-Oh, my God.
-Great.
-Oh...
-Oh, my God.
We leave at 9:00.
- 9:00, like 9:00 a.m.?
- Tomorrow. Yeah.
-In the morning?
-In the morning, yeah.
Oh, my God.
No, no, I don't know.
You need to
get your oil changed.
Fine, Dallas. Don't call me
when you break down
in the middle of nowhere.
Don't worry, I won't.
Are you recording
this right now?
You are just like Dad.
Look. I get
why you're doing this.
I get it. I get--
-Oh, do you get it?
-You and me,
Mom and Dad in Loveland.
Last big trip. I totally get it.
You've always
romanticized that place.
-It's just...
-That's not why I'm doing this.
Well, then, why?
Why do all this work to go
to a little patch of dirt?
You... You saw it, too.
I have to do this.
If I don't, I'm gonna regret it
the rest of my life.
Please understand that.
All right.
Well, be careful then.
-Of course. It's me.
-Right.
Well...
Good morning, sunshine.
Rude.
Ooh, he's already filming!
Wake up, wake up. Come on.
All right. All right.
In. In. In. Hand it to me.
You're so slow.
Let's do this thing.
Come on. Go.
Would you... Thank you.
Okay. We're in.
- Let's go.
- We're so in.
So, what's my character?
You're not playing a character.
Gonna be yourself.
It's a documentary.
Ugh, no.
That is no fun.
What if
you're like a reporter
trying to get your big break?
This is Amy Matheson
reporting for Action News
live from the scene
of the latest Frogman sighting.
What if I saw Frogman
when I was a kid?
But no one believed me.
So, then, I am coming back
20 years later,
to prove he exists.
I don't know.
It's a little pathetic.
You're writing
an album about Frogman.
Oh... What kind of singer am I?
Um, country, of course.
Mmm. Country, of course.
Um, my name
is Norma Jean Wynette,
born and raised
in Nashville, Tennessee.
Oh, my God, I...
I love it. I love it.
Except, you don't really look
like a Norma Jean quite yet.
Tomorrow's comin' round
And the day's goin' round
It'll never be the same
-We're not stopping.
-Oh, come on.
- I'm Norma Jean.
- I mean, you look good,
but I don't know
if it's quite Norma Jean.
You wanna have an opinion too?
Dallas, you need a new suit?
No, I don't.
Right.
-Hey, Daddy.
Okay. All right.
-Hey, Daddy.
-I think this one
would scare the kids away.
-That looks really good.
Thank you, Dallas.
- Think I could pull this off?
- Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, that's it.
Holy sh*t! That's it.
Yeah, no, that's nice. Dallas.
Holy sh*t. That's it.
- I'm freaking out.
I'm Norma Jean. I'm Norma Jean.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
- Hello, y'all.
My name is Norma Jean Wynette.
And I love me
some Frogman.
Enough of those two goblins,
am I right?
Look at a real man here.
Hey, Dallas,
they've had enough of your mug.
- Well, Mr. Director.
- What was that?
What happens
when we get to Loveland?
Well, I want to start
by interviewing people.
Hopefully get some
firsthand accounts.
-Mmm-hmm. Okay?
-And I want to
talk to George Hale.
And who's that?
The other Frogman guy.
Oh...
Is he still alive even, or...
Yeah, I think so.
This is all they had.
That's not coming in the car.
Sleeping, honey.
-Is he?
-Yeah.
It's cute.
This is... This is fun, right?
This is like we're back
at school, the three of us
making a movie together.
Yeah, I missed this.
Oh, did you see that?
Oh, it looked crazy.
What does Ms. Chelsea
think about your...
Your Frogman obsession.
We're not exactly together.
She dumped you?
Why does everyone assume
she dumped me?
She did, right?
Yeah.
Did you tell her about us?
I may have mentioned something.
Okay, that is why
she dumped you.
I mean, I guarantee
if you had found out
that she had slept
with her best guy friend
a few months before
you guys got together.
I mean...
You'd be freaked out, too.
Say something.
You have a point.
-No.
-No.
We never really
talked about that night.
We just kind of pretended
like it didn't happen.
Well, um, it was a...
It was a mistake,
I think, right?
I mean, don't you think?
Yeah.
Sure. Yeah, if that's...
That's what you think.
Yeah, I agree.
Frankly, it really
didn't mean anything to me.
So...
Oh, me neither.
Good.
-Uh...
-Okay.
We're... We should be friends.
Yeah?
I'm glad we could
talk about this.
Me, too.
Oh, my God!
Dallas, let's stop!
Oh, my gosh!
Norma Jean could
stand next to the sign
-and just be like...
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
-No.
Dallas, you're no fun.
It'll take two seconds
for me to put my stuff on.
It'll be like
the perfect introduction.
Right?
Nope.
I'll play it... serious.
Howdy, y'all. My name
is Norma Jean Wynette,
and it has been 20 long years
since I've been
around these parts
and I have been hankering
to see my old pal
Frogman again.
And cut.
Whoo! How was it?
Oh, my God,
girl, you are incredible.
You were like born
to play this role.
-Thanks.
-Yeah.
Dallas...
Okay.
Don't worry.
He'll be thanking us
at the premiere
for making this sh*t
actually watchable.
I hope so.
- Oh.
- What the hell?
- Really?
- Oh, my God... Stop filming.
You little sh*t!
Come on.
Dallas!
This place
is kind of charming
in its own way.
As soon as there's
people near, I will be Norma.
Yeah.
But right now we're,
we're scouting, right?
- Yeah.
- Should we get ice cream?
Sure.
- Yeah. Are you buying?
I'd want
some ice cream.
- That's a...
- Yeah...
So no ice cream, then?
That's a no.
Hello,
I saw you guys
from across the street.
-You did?
-Ooh. Famous.
I was watching you.
-Is that your camera? Yeah.
-You were?
That's kind of creepy.
You were right there.
I was bored.
It's Reese's
Peanut Butter cups.
He's being
such a flirt.
Do you see that?
Zoom in, he's nervous.
I have a theory.
-Yeah?
-Everyone's either a frog
or they're a rat.
-Really?
-Yeah, just like look at anyone.
And you can either say
frog or rat. I'm a rat.
What am I?
I'd say rat.
I think.
-Really? Like
a combination of the two?
-I... I think...
Yeah, you're kind of difficult.
He is difficult.
Okay. They're gonna
bring that out.
The red door to your right.
-All right. Thank you so much.
-Good luck finding the Frogman.
- Thank you.
- Thanks.
-You were super nice to her.
-We need a release form.
Kind of like the water.
Yeah, it's nice.
Breezy.
Hopefully,
we get some nicer weather.
I know, right?
- You guys.
- What?
Oh, sh*t!
He's so macho.
Okay.
Okay.
You look swole.
Was this your vision
of your epic quest
to find Frogman?
- This is pretty cool.
You have to admit.
It is pretty cool.
Maybe we just
call it quits after this.
So, Dallas, do you
have anything to say
about, I don't know,
your process
and what you're...
what you're really trying
to accomplish here.
Yeah.
I want to hear that, too.
Mmm-hmm.
I want the world
to know the truth.
- Okay.
- About Frogman.
I want to inspire people.
Let's not give up.
Because I can't give up.
- Are you making faces?
- No, I'm not.
Dallas coming too?
Oh, he's making his way.
This place is pretty cute.
Ooh, very nice.
Come here. Come here.
This is a moment.
Practice my accent. Hello?
Hello? Hello?
Hello? Come on, Dallas.
Hello? Okay.
Here, take this...
Let's get a room here.
- Hello?
- Well, hello there.
Welcome to the Bullfrog
bed and breakfast.
Oh, boy. That's creepy.
Might we have a room for tonight...
Who needs Frogman?
...and tomorrow night,
purtty please.
So are you a Frogman fan?
You're kidding.
Frogman helps
keep me in business.
Is that what brings
you folks to town?
We're actually
making a documentary.
Is that so?
Mmm-hmm.
You folks know
where Frogman Point is?
No. Should we?
If you want
a good look at him, I'd say so.
Best time to see him
is around dusk.
And I serve breakfast
every morning, 8:00 to noon.
- Mmm.
- My name is Gretel.
And if you need anything,
just call downstairs.
See you
in my nightmares.
-Hey, girl. What's up?
-Hello. Oops.
Dallas, thanks
for the warm beer.
- Yeah, I...
- Really appreciate that.
Cheers. Cheers.
I have to get mine. Hold on.
Lager, lay-ger, lager, lager.
Look
at the frog buddy.
- Join us!
- Come on!
Dance it out.
Dance it out.
You know you wanna.
Guys, I have to get ready
for tomorrow, Okay?
Yeah.
There's a time for pleasure.
- And there's a time for work.
- Okay.
Oh, what?
Get it. Get it!
Trust the training, guys.
Oh, sh*t.
-Amy, you look beautiful.
So cinematic, that is.
-Beautiful.
Yeah.
- So gorgeous.
- Okay.
- Dallas...
- Oh, my God.
Dallas.
Wait.
Who was in charge...
- What am I wearing?
- ...of your wardrobe?
Oh, my God.
Holy sh*t,
that's so good.
You know what happens.
Aw... It's the team.
-Oh, nice.
-That sh*t actually
looks pretty good.
Real...
Oh, yeah.
How's that? Is that okay?
Yep.
You don't have to do my hair.
I can do my hair.
Hair case.
All right.
I gotta pee.
Um...
So I overheard your
conversation in the car.
Very interesting.
You little sh*t.
I thought you were asleep.
Turns out you're not
the only actor in the group.
Mmm...
I guess that
I don't really see what
the big deal was, though.
Like, when it happened,
you were both single.
Were both consenting adults.
Like...
I guess I'm just surprised.
it didn't happen sooner.
Oh, well, we both agreed
that it was a mistake.
-Huh, really?
-Hmm.
Because that is not
what Dallas told me.
What did he tell you?
-Did he--
-He basically--
What'd I miss?
-Nothing.
-Not a thing.
I was just wondering,
if you, you know...
Do you believe in Frogman?
Yeah.
I believe in...
Everyone f*cking
believes in Frogman.
So you said
you've seen Frog--
Frogman can read minds.
Thank you very much.
-Thank... Do you...
-Yeah.
I'm sorry. Okay.
Do you have something
to say about Frogman?
Yeah, he can read minds.
Okay, thank you.
Scotty, do you wanna...
Dallas, I think it's been
going pretty well.
So I'm just wondering,
is there any other questions
that you want me to ask.
I think maybe I should
take over the interviews.
No.
-What?
-Do us all a favor.
What, are you...
Are you kidding?
No.
- Just...
- Are you serious?
This is, like, serious.
You know what I mean?
I think what you're doing
is very charming.
Uh...
I'm not trying
to be a butthole.
You're being
a gaping butthole.
- Seriously?
Maybe
I should take over.
All right. Cool. I just...
I just look right there?
You know,
I've never done this before.
It's cool. Cool stuff.
If you know
anything about this...
a cult... sort of
a cult following...
surrounding Frogman?
No, I'm not...
I'm not in any cult, no.
No, not you.
I'm a... I'm...
I'm a God-loving man.
I mean, like, what's this for?
- It's a documentary.
- When's it gonna air?
It's not like...
It's not gonna be on TV.
Like, no Discovery or sh*t?
Yeah, Frogman.
Have you heard of him?
I'm sorry.
How do you know
this is a man?
I guess I don't.
That's a good point.
Can we agree that it's a frog?
Yeah, there's...
you know, there's caves
like all around underneath here,
but I mean,
most of them are sealed up.
But, you know,
my cousin and I, we...
we know where to go.
- You seen my picture?
- You bet.
You bet. I've seen the picture.
That... That's what
put Loveland on the map.
I have pretty flat feet.
Right, so I'm a good swimmer.
These people could
outswim anybody.
It is not safe to assume gender,
but I hope you find them.
I'm told that he has a wand.
It's sort of an occult...
I don't know what it does.
Maybe that's how
the impregnation happens.
I don't know.
He has been known
to take a maid here and there.
Are you saying
Frogman fucks?
- Scotty, shut up.
- Yeah...
So, Frogman fucks?
Yeah. Yeah, he does.
At least that's
what I would I assume.
I don't really follow out,
you know, because I'm not
in the bestiality thing.
But, you know...
Yeah, yeah, he does.
Is he an ancient god?
Or is he
an ancient alien, maybe?
Or is he a big frog
trying to get his rocks off?
Who gives a sh*t?
Oh, sh*t.
Look at this.
I think
that is poison ivy.
Totally the caves
that they were talking about.
Oh, okay.
- What are you...
- Holy sh*t!
- What?
- Hello?
What do you see?
This is a cave.
Are you
going to go in?
I'm not.
I'm not going in there.
Probably I am, yeah.
Okay. Go for it. Bye.
Good luck
in there, buddy.
I don't know if I can fit.
Excuse me. Where do you get
your Frogman gear?
Oh, yeah, just from
the Sticky Tongue
gift shop down there.
- Sticky Tongue?
It's down the street
on your left.
- That's great.
- Thank you.
Oh, Scotty,
look at this one.
Wonder if
they have it in extra small.
Extra, extra small.
Make it super tight for you.
This town's really out here
making money
off Frogman sh*t.
Hopefully they're THC gummies.
Oh, yes. Get high off this.
Frogman mucus.
Hmm.
Looks more like lube to me.
Aw, cute!
Three little frogs,
like the three of us.
Look, one of them
has a broken wrist.
Hey, I'm Woody,
a Frogman expert.
What are you guys doing?
sh**ting a movie or something?
Are you thirsty?
Swamp water.
-I'm good.
-Okay.
Maybe a jacket.
It'd keep you warm somewhat.
They're kind of...
Stickers for your lovely lady.
- Oh, well, no.
- How romantic.
This right here
is an authentic
Frogman footprint
- Oh.
- Casted it myself.
- Very cool.
- What's this?
This is the Frogman flute.
This is what you can use
the summon him.
Blow it a couple of times,
he comes out.
Wow.
Well...
Don't waste your money, Dallas.
There's that guy.
There's that guy there.
Scotty, get him.
Get in, get in close.
He's so...
But just don't draw attention.
What's in his hand?
- What's in his hand?
- That is a frog.
He's got his hand
up a frog's ass.
A frog with a...
- Tinfoil hat?
- Oh, no. He sees us.
Hey!
Frogman will rise!
Okay, keep walking.
Go, go!
- All right... Dallas.
- Thank you!
That's gonna
be you in five years.
- Got it, buddy. Thank you!
Yep. Good luck.
Don't follow us. Thank you.
- What is this?
- Froglord.
-Froglord?
-Yeah.
This sh*t slaps.
-So you like...
You actually like this?
-Yeah. You... You don't?
Why are there so many cops?
- They're probably
looking for you.
Okay.
Or they're looking for Frogman.
No, really.
I don't think that...
Like, the semen of Frogman
and a female human...
That's gross.
That's... No that's like that...
that... That can't even...
Does that even work?
Like frog to hu...
No, no, that's not a thing.
-That would be like...
-Maybe he's building an army.
Okay.
No, really.
He might be interdimensional.
This might be
some real life magic.
So is he a wizard?
I mean, maybe.
That's what
we're gonna find out.
Um...
Parking's a bitch.
Can't see Frogman
for free, apparently.
sh*t. I'm sorry.
Do you...
I guess I'm getting paid $995
for this sh**t.
- Dallas.
- Thanks, buddy.
You would have
had the $5 if you didn't
buy that sweatshirt.
- Let me see it.
I had to
get this sweatshirt.
Look at this. This is sick.
Get you
two cuties in frame.
Ooh.
How you doing?
I am as full as a tick.
-So you can take on over.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Let's go.
- Yeah, it's pretty heavy...
Cool it with
the Norma Jean stuff.
-You want me to what?
-Cool it with
the Norma Jean stuff.
We're not even filming.
- Oh, yeah, I am.
- We're filming.
"Cool it with
the Norma Jean stuff."
One mile to go.
- Thanks, Norma.
- You're welcome.
I mean, you're welcome.
Dallas, do you think
it's been a mile?
I'm kind of starting
to lose some light here.
Just as I suspected,
there goes our light.
Hey, Dallas! I can't
see sh*t out here.
Turn on the night vision, bud.
Where the f*ck
is the night vision button?
All right. Okay.
That's... That's working.
-There's also
a light right there.
-Is this it?
Yep, that's it. Thanks.
Dallas.
- Can you hear that?
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Dallas, is that you?
Dallas?
Shh.
Something's there.
- Dallas.
- This is so typical.
I knew he was gonna pull
this f*cking bullshit on us.
- God.
-I didn't sign up for this.
-Dallas.
-Dallas.
Where are you?
I don't...
- Guys.
- f*ck.
- Jesus!
- What the f*ck was that?
- This way.
You f*cking
body checked me?
We're finally here.
- Don't film me.
Film the woods.
All right.
Filming the woods.
Look along the river.
Do you guys
see anything?
Nope.
- What's that?
- What?
Like, over there.
I think I saw something move.
There's nothing there, Amy.
- Give me the camera.
Give me the camera.
Oh, sh*t.
- Dallas. Dallas.
- Wait.
There he goes.
I got you now.
No one believed me.
Well, they're gonna
believe me now.
Oh, yeah.
f*ck you, Jeremy J.
I got you,
you green son of a bitch.
f*ck!
Don't hurt me, man.
Come on!
What the f*ck is this?
It's a mask.
I know.
Why are you wearing it?
Because it's my job.
Okay. What? You're Frogman?
I knew you were
no country singer!
Oh, my God.
- Okay.
- Where's the real Frogman?
There is no Frogman.
Bullshit. I saw it
when I was a kid,
before you were even born.
-Okay, Dallas, it's...
-He's lying.
We do it
to attract tourists.
And I get paid
to run out here
and scare people.
You're the only one
crazy enough
to f*cking catch me.
Um...
Okay. Uh, Dallas,
let's just, uh...
Let's just go back to the B&B
and we can regroup, okay?
Yeah,
I think that's a good idea.
Can I have my mask back?
Yeah. Here.
Thanks.
No. What the f*ck?
How am I gonna get that?
It's in the f*cking tree.
Jump and get it, Frogman.
Dallas, don't do
anything stupid.
Stop.
Evening.
Did you folks make it out
to Frogman Point?
Yeah. We saw your little show.
-Show?
-Cut the sh*t, lady.
I saw Frogman as a kid,
and what I saw wasn't
some guy in a cheap suit.
I saw the real thing.
Turn that thing off.
- It's off.
- No, it's not.
Okay.
It's not recording.
I think it's time for you
folks to head on home.
I think it's time
you start telling the truth,
because I'm not leaving
until I have proof
that Frogman exists.
Let me put it another way.
Leave town
while you still can.
Are you threatening us?
We're through.
Let's go.
f*ck that.
No, I'm not leaving.
I'm not going anywhere
until I f*cking find Frog...
Where are we going?
To see George Hale.
Wait, what?
Dallas? No.
- Oh, sh*t.
- f*ck.
Were you speeding?
No.
Dallas, are you sure
you weren't speeding?
Pull the f*cking
car over, Dallas.
Okay.
Why is he pulling us over?
Evening, Officer.
License and registration.
Well, you're a long way
from home,
aren't you, Mr. Kyle?
Can you not shine
that light in my face?
I hear you kids have been
causing some trouble in town.
Yes, we're...
We're sorry, Sheriff.
Well, where are you
headed now?
We're just looking
for Frogman.
You found Frogman,
and you assaulted him.
-Assaulted?
-And you threatened Gretel.
You're lucky I don't arrest
all three of you right now.
- Uh, she threatened us.
- Okay, Dallas...
Dallas, stop arguing
with him.
Listen to your
girlfriend, Mr. Kyle.
She's smart.
Now, I'm going to make this
very short and clear,
so you understand.
Go back to the Bullfrog,
gather your stuff
and go home, now.
Leave town.
Do I make myself clear?
Yes. Yes.
We'll go straight home.
I'd like to hear it
from him.
We're leaving.
Excellent choice.
You kids have
a safe trip now.
assh*le.
All right.
So this has clearly
gone far enough.
Yeah.
Not until we talk
to George Hale.
I... I'm sorry.
Were you not just in here?
He said he'd arrest us.
Dallas, I know this is
really important to you.
I really do.
But I'm begging you.
Can we please
just go home?
- Yes.
- Thank God.
After we talk
to George Hale.
Dallas!
Oh, my God.
Where are we going?
To jail, probably.
This is a bad idea.
Yeah, no sh*t.
Jesus.
Wait here.
No, Dallas. No.
Oh, my God.
George!
Do not open that door.
Oh... my God. No.
- Hello?
- What the f*ck?
Any light in there?
Hello?
Jesus Christ!
Oh, God.
Guys, come on.
Is he out of his
f*cking mind?
No.
Now, how about right in here?
This will work great.
Aw! Who is this?
My granddaughter.
She's really pretty.
Don't touch anything.
Uh, George.
If I can...
have you sit right here.
Scotty, how is this?
Does it look all right?
Yeah, it's fine.
Scotty, how's the lighting?
One, two, or three?
Your hand is blocking
the light.
How long is
this gonna take?
- We're almost ready.
Scotty, is that...
Just...
Stop touching it.
Your photo got a lot
of attention, didn't it?
Yeah, I guess it did.
Me and a buddy
were hunting mushrooms
over the other side
of the river.
We ended up getting out
a little farther
than we planned.
Then it got dark.
Something didn't just...
It just didn't feel right
out there in the woods.
We both sensed it.
It was like...
we were being watched.
So we got the hell
out of there.
We found our way
back to our trucks
finally, and...
I turned on
my headlights...
and there he was,
that green bastard
staring right at me.
May I?
Yeah.
A lot of people appreciated
all the tourism
that it brought in.
Nowadays not so much.
Why not?
They have their reasons.
Did it have anything
to do with...
people worshipping Frogman?
Who told you that?
Is it true?
I think I've said
too much.
- Get out.
At least you got
your interview. Let's go.
Yeah.
Let's get the f*ck out.
I need to find Frogman.
I know why you've
kept this picture.
What the hell?
After tonight,
none of it'll matter
anyway.
Wait here.
What does...
What does that mean?
This will lead you to him.
-Thank you.
-Now get out of
my f*cking house.
Come on.
This isn't
a conversation anymore.
We needed George
to find Frogman.
That's the goal.
He gave us a map.
Yeah, I saw it.
If we follow this map,
and it leads to nothing,
then that's it.
I don't know
what else to do.
But I have to at least
look into this.
Last thing?
-Last thing.
-Last thing.
Promise me...
it's the last thing.
I promise you.
Both of you.
Okay, then let's go.
Wait.
Dallas, what the f*ck?
Are we actually...
Are we actually
staying out here?
Be on alert, guys.
Amy, we should get
as much footage as we can
with our phones.
Scotty, don't stop sh**ting
no matter what.
Even if Frogman
tries to eat you?
Especially if Frogman
tries to eat me.
Where do you think
he's taking us?
The Frogman's lair?
Hey... what's up?
Nothing.
I'm just jumpy.
I thought you didn't even
believe in Frogman?
I don't.
Amy...
What's up?
That George guy
just gave me the creeps.
- I mean, did you see...
- Over here, quick!
Hurry up.
Come, check this out.
- What?
- You see that?
- Um...
- Look at that ooze.
Ooze? It's sap.
Yeah, sap doesn't
smell like that.
Look at the green, too.
Um...
Dallas, we're outside.
There's a lot
of green things.
Yeah, that's right.
We're dangerously close.
- Okay, he's losing it.
- Yeah, no sh*t.
Whoa!
- Are you good?
- Yeah.
I just... touched
whatever that is.
Let's set up camp here.
I have a good feeling
about this.
Plan on giving us a hand?
I'm sorry, guys.
My hands are tied.
Director told me
to always be filming, so...
The director.
I'm glad you're
listening to
the director finally.
Ooh. Okay.
I remember
my first campfire.
Damn. Ow!
Okay,
I think I got something.
I got it.
I got it.
I think the wood
is too wet.
I'll get some
that's dry then.
Don't wander off too far.
She mad at me?
You're just realizing
this now?
I should go talk to her.
Wait, wait. No.
Now is probably not
a good time.
Well, I didn't tell you
what she said to me
during the drive last night.
What?
That your night together
was a big mistake?
How do you know that?
Because I see
and hear everything.
Pretty sneaky, Scotty.
You need to
tell her how you really feel
before it's too late.
You know?
Okay, so just so
we're on the same page.
Is she saying
it was not a mistake?
Is that what you're saying?
All right.
I need to take a catnap.
Why don't you wake me
when Frogman shows.
Okay?
Are you encouraging this?
I mean...
All right.
We're gonna
try this thing out.
Wake up, Scotty.
Come on,
I found something.
Let's go.
Where's Amy?
Are you recording?
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Check this out.
Whoa!
Holy sh*t.
How does
the sh*t look?
- It looks good.
Are you getting all this?
- Yeah, I'm getting...
- You know what?
This is why I don't want
to sh**t for you anymore.
f*cking assh*le.
- Scotty, wait! Hold up.
- Can you please talk to me?
No, I'm f*cking done.
It's this attitude...
This is why you
never get hired.
This is why you're gonna be
sh**ting weddings
and working at a coffee shop
for the rest of your life.
At least I have a job.
I'm not freeloading
off my f*cking sister.
I should have never
contacted you.
What is this?
Holy sh*t!
That's the slime
from the tree.
- Amy?
- He was here.
He was f*cking here.
Holy sh*t!
- Amy?
- Is she in there?
Amy!
- f*ck!
- Amy! Amy!
Amy!
Amy!
Amy?
Scotty, I found her.
Amy!
Oh, sh*t! Amy!
Amy? Amy!
Amy? Amy?
Are you okay?
Where am I?
You're in the woods.
What the hell happened?
I was getting firewood,
and then I... I heard someone
calling my name. I...
I heard it in my head.
Holy sh*t.
Amy, you went
looking for wood
over an hour ago.
No. No, I didn't.
It was like a minute ago.
Ah! There you are.
Are you f*cking with me?
What?
- Scotty, how long
have I been gone?
Maybe an hour.
Do you hear that?
It's him. It's him.
Give me the cam.
Give me the cam.
Amy, get your phone out,
start sh**ting.
See anything?
- No.
- No.
This way.
- Dallas...
- No, no!
Running out of road here.
Oh, sh*t.
Dallas! Dallas?
Where are you?
Oh, God!
Dallas, where'd you go?
- Dallas!
- Over here.
Dallas!
Dallas, this camera is f*cked.
It's freaking out.
His powers are probably causing
telekinetic interference.
What?
He's trying to
get in our heads.
I can't let him get away.
What the f*ck
is that smell, Dallas?
You okay?
No.
Over there.
Over there.
- Dallas!
- What?
Dallas!
Dallas! Oh, my God!
Are you okay?
I'm fine.
This tape's almost full, man.
Change the tapes, quick!
Okay, I'm recording this.
sh*t. I only have
one percent left.
Scotty, turn the light on.
What the f*ck
is your plan, Dallas?
I don't think he has one.
-We're gonna catch him.
-How?
How are we gonna
f*cking catch him?
How are we
gonna catch him?
sh*t! It d*ed.
Scotty, turn on the light.
Yeah, I'm trying.
This thing's a f*cking antique.
f*ck!
Oh, sh*t!
f*ck!
f*cking thing.
f*cking thing.
Oh, sh*t.
No, no.
No! No, no, no!
Scotty! Scotty, are you okay?
We heard you screaming.
Let's play catch up later.
Scotty, I need
to see the footage.
Let's see the f*cking assholes
say this is a hoax.
Scotty, I love you.
Thank you.
I'm so sorry
about what I said.
I didn't mean a word.
You forgive me?
Sure. Yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry, too.
I can't believe
you were f*cking right.
No f*cking way.
Oh, f*ck!
I f*cking did it.
I found the Frogman.
Where is she?
- Come on, just stop.
- Convenient.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Just give me a minute, please.
Oh, f*ck.
What's going on?
Oh, God...
Are you okay?
- Yeah.
- Shh!
Okay, let's just--
You guys hear that?
Dallas, I'm done with this.
Let's just go get our sh*t
and leave. Just...
What's that sound?
Dallas...
What are you
talking about?
You don't hear it?
Hear what?
- What do you...
- It sounds like chanting.
Dallas, I'm...
It's coming from the caves.
I'm not.
Come on.
No, Dallas,
I said I'm done.
The last point.
What? Don't.
Look.
- It's getting louder.
- I don't like it.
Stop...
Just don't...
Dallas, don't...
f*ck!
I'm not going in.
I just can't.
-Jesus!
-Scotty...
-Look, if you don't
want to go...
-I'm not going.
We'll be right back.
- We'll be right back.
- Dallas.
-We're just going to look, okay?
-You can't leave me here.
You can't...
What language is that?
Oh, sh*t.
It's gotten bad.
-You good?
-Yeah. I'm good.
I feel like it's coming
from in there.
Help me up.
Scotty, switch to night vision.
Somebody, please!
Anybody, please!
Help me, please!
What the hell?
Honored am I to unite our father
with the beautiful bride
that he's chosen
in holy matrimony.
May your union be blessed
with healthy pollywogs.
What?
It's George!
Anyone follows us,
I'll blow your
f*cking head off!
- Intruder!
- sh*t!
Run! Run!
- Intruders!
- Get 'em!
Run!
Scotty! Come on.
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
What are you doing down here?
I heard screaming.
Are you okay?
We gotta get out of here.
What...
What happened?
You wouldn't believe me.
Come on.
Let's hide in here.
Scotty, shut the light off.
I think they passed us.
Scotty, light.
What the hell was that?
- Amy, behind you.
- Holy f*ck!
- What's this?
What the hell
are these?
Oh, my God.
One of you guys tell me,
what is going on?
You guys, over here.
Something's in this one.
Oh, God.
Dallas, don't touch it!
Oh, my God, it reeks!
Holy sh*t!
We gotta get them out of here.
Come on,
help me pull them out.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Pull.
Holy sh*t!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God,
is that George's granddaughter?
You all right?
Oh, sh*t!
What is that thing?
What the f*ck?
What is that thing?
- Scotty?
- Where's the camera?
What is it?
Scotty, are you okay?
Scotty?
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Scotty,
what happened to you?
Scotty!
Amy, we gotta go.
Amy, we gotta go.
Let's go!
This way.
Hurry up.
Where...
Where do we go?
- This way?
- I don't know.
Did you see his face?
Did you see it?
Yes, I did. It's awful,
but if we don't get out of here,
that sh*t's gonna happen to us.
Hey, I really
have to tell you something.
I lied to you.
Our night together...
-What?
-...meant the world to me.
And why are you
telling me this?
If I don't tell you now,
I may never
get the chance to tell you.
I love you.
I've always loved you.
Dallas...
Amy, what is it?
The noise from the woods,
I can hear it.
I hear it. I hear it.
Irrefutable proof.
Dallas...
Dallas...
Dallas...
Dallas...
Dallas?
Dallas...
Who's there?
Dallas?
Dallas, I'm scared.
I can't move.
He's got me.
Dallas...
Dallas...
Help...
Amy!
Holy sh*t!
Amy! f*cking let go of her!
Amy! sh*t.
-Amy, you okay?
-Oh, my God, what happened?
I'll show you later.
Come on.
f*ck!
-George!
-Turn off that damn light.
Follow me.
Thank God.
George...
You can turn that light
back on now.
George,
what the f*ck was that?
Careful.
It's a little deep.
All those people
back there.
What did we just see?
The less you know,
the better.
Keep it that way.
We're almost there.
We can't stop now.
Amy, we have to
keep moving.
Come on.
So just follow the water
to the bridge.
You can get to town
from there.
Wait, George.
You're not going back in there?
If there's any chance
my granddaughter is still alive,
I have to go back.
There's the town.
Amy?
Amy?
Amy, it's gonna be okay.
We have the proof.
-Amy...
-Don't.
The whole world
is gonna believe us.
Stop.
Stop it. Stop it.
Stop it.
Just stop it.
Okay.
All right.
Thanks, everyone,
for coming out.
Let's give another round
of applause for Frogman.
Let's welcome to the stage
the director of the film,
Dallas Kyle.
Dallas Kyle,
welcome to the stage.
Dallas?
Dallas Kyle,
the director of the film,
welcome to the stage.
Dallas! Dallas! Dallas!
Dallas! Dallas! Dallas!
Dallas! Dallas!