01x28 - The Mortaise Fair

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Adventures of Sir Lancelot". Aired: 15 September 1956 – 20 April 1957.*
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Legendary stories of the King Arthur's knights of the round table.
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01x28 - The Mortaise Fair

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[MultiCom jingle]

[trumpets blaring]

[dramatic music]

[hoof beats pounding]

[dramatic music]

[gong banging]

[dramatic music]

[lions growling]

[dramatic music]

[soft music]

[dramatic music]

- Lovely day for the fair, my lady.

- Yes indeed.

Baron Mortaise.

- Queen Guinevere, it is indeed an honor

to welcome you to the Castle Mortaise,

and the Mortaise Fair.

- Thank you, my lord.

You know Sir Lancelot?

- Baron.

- Sir Lancelot. But what
of the king, my lady?

- King Arthur was most
disappointed that state problems

do not permit him to
attend the fair in person.

- A disappointment all
will share, my lady.

- The king was especially
sad because he feels

that this year the fair
may mean the fulfillment

of his dream of trade with
the peoples of the east.

However, he hoped you would be good enough

to accept myself and Sir
Lancelot in his stead.

- Indeed, we shall all
be privileged, my lady.

- Then shall we open the fair?

[soft music]

[triumphant music]

- Senor Cordena, a merchant
from Rome, your majesty.

- Welcome, Senor.

[soft music]

- This is for your majesty.

- Your lace is exquisite.
Thank you so much.

[soft music]

- Hassim Ali, a merchant
from Baghdad, your majesty.

- Welcome to our land.

[soft music]

It's very beautiful. Thank you.

[soft music]

- Your majesty, the Rajah of Calcua.

- Welcome.

- [Rajah] Yours not my tongue,
gracious lady. Excuse please.

- Perhaps I can be of some service.

I am acquainted with both languages.

[Hassim speaking foreign language]

[Rajah speaking foreign language]

The Rajah wishes me to
say that unfortunately

his interpreter is not well.

He asks me to convey to you his gratitude

for inviting him to this fair.

- [Guinevere] Will you tell
the Rajah that King Arthur

is pleased his invitation was accepted?

[Rajah speaking foreign language]

- The Rajah says that this is for you.

It is known as the Madras Emerald.

A queen of emeralds in a
setting fit for a great queen.

- It is a rare and beautiful gift.

I shall treasure it as a
symbol of the friendship

that unites this kingdom with yours.

[both speaking foreign language]

- Are you ready, my lady?

- Yes, my lord.

It gives me great pleasure
to pronounce the fair open.

[crowd cheering]

- [Man] Long live the queen!

[dramatic music]

[lion roaring]

[dramatic music]

[lion growling]

[dramatic music]

[Lancelot coughing]

- Are you all right, my lady?

- Thank you, Sir Lancelot.
Was anyone injured?

- No, no one was hurt.

And I think the fire'll
soon be under control.

- Lady, the Madras Emerald.

- It's gone.

- [Baron] Guards!

[dramatic music]

- My lady.

No sign of the emerald.

That fire was started
deliberately to create confusion.

But no one saw who it was.

- You mean then that the gem was stolen?

- I'm afraid so.

- I'll have my men see
that no one leaves--

- It's already been done, Baron.

The king's men at arms are
patrolling the boundary now.

- Oh, good. I'll see
there's no more of this.

I'll close the fair at once, my lady.

- Lancelot, I'm worried.

The king is counting on
this fair to establish

friendly relations with the Rajah.

The Rajah might be deeply
offended by all this.

- It's hardly your fault, my lady.

[suspenseful music]

What do you want?

- Forgive me, I seek
the tent of the queen.

My lady.

The Rajah has asked me to inquire

if the emerald has been recovered.

- No, it has not.

- Oh.

That is indeed unfortunate.

- Everything is being done to
see that the gem is recovered.

- Naturally, my lady, I do not wish to be

the bearer of such news but ...

- Yes?

- It may seem to you to be
a somewhat strange custom,

but the Rajah regards the loss

of the Madras Emerald as an insult.

- The queen hasn't deliberately
arranged for this robbery.

- Lancelot!

Be good enough to tell his highness

that I understand his concern.

Tell him that I've
ordered the fair postponed

until the gem is recovered
out of courtesy to him.

Lancelot, we must find the Madras Emerald.

- Don't worry, my lady,
I'll continue the search.

During the procession this afternoon,

I noticed a familiar face in the crowd.

I think he may be able to help us.

[Ronk laughing]

[lions growling]

- Please be good enough
to use my tea totems.

- Your what?

- Tea totems. Tea totems.

- Tea totems, eh?

All right, my lad. Don't
make no difference.

Trust you to put your money down there

to keep my company, and I'll ...

Hello, your lordship, fancy
a little harmless sport?

- Not just now, thanks, Ronk.

Could we have a word in private?

- Sure, sure.

Been expecting you, as a matter of fact.

Okay, you lads go ahead.

Soon as I speak to the
gentleman, I'll be back.

[lions growling]

- You must find it difficult

to converse with your
foreign friends, Ronk.

- No, you see, these dice
speak to all of us alike.

Sort of an international
language, you might say.

- I see.

- But you didn't come
here to talk about that.

- No.

- Look, I didn't steal
it, your lord, honest.

I wasn't even near her.

You saw me in the crowd.

- Perhaps one of your men might have.

- No no no, you're wrong there.

You see, I'm on my own now.

I couldn't stand that
lot I was mixed up with.

Bad characters, selfish.

- Then what are you doing at the fair?

- Well, you saw for yourself.

Get a little game going, I said to myself.

A little sport. Make a
little money, I said.

- Steal a little purse, I said.

- Sir Lancelot, you do me an injustice.

Honest Ronk, they call
me now. It's the truth.

Listen, I got a few
friends. I hear things.

Maybe I can give you a lead.

- Such as?

- You might be interested
in buying a few oat cakes.

[soft suspenseful music]

- Can I sample one of your oat cakes?

- [Osbent] As the fair is
closed, I'm not allowed to sell.

Help yourself.

- Thank you.

- Osbent? What are on
Earth are you doing here?

This is a strange place to find

the assistant to Baron Mortaise.

- A man must live.

The baron and I had a disagreement.

- Oh? What about?

- If you take the
trouble to ask the baron,

I'm sure he'll tell you.

- I'm asking you instead.

- I acquired certain gambling debts.

The baron found out and discharged me.

That's all there is to it.

- Osbert, were you near the platform

when the Madras Emerald was stolen?

- Certainly I was. So
were lots of other people.

- And you admit you had debts
which lost you employment.

[dramatic music]

[Brian shouting]

- Brian, are you all right?

- He should be in a cage.

- I'm sorry if he did something wrong.

- Oh it's nothing.

- Come on, Barker.

- Barker was merely
showing his love for you.

- I'd rather he showed
his love for someone else.

- Search this man. Search his wares.

- Surely you don't think
anyone's going to hide

the emerald amongst his goods.

- I've just received information
this man has the emerald.

Where is it?

- I do not have it, my lord.

- [Searcher] Ah.

[soft music]

- It is part of the jewel.
Where's the rest of it?

- My lord, I--

- Speak up. Where is it?

- I do not have it, my lord.

- How do you explain this?

- I cannot explain it. I do
not know how it got there.

- Naturally.

Arrest him.

- In my country, you would not
be treated like a barbarian.

- Take him away.

- I do not know anything about this!

- Now, one way or another,
we shall find the emerald.

[Zuleika crying]

- Brian,

stay with her and look after her.

- Don't worry. Everything
will be all right.

[soft music]

- Lancelot, have you found the emerald?

- No, my lady, I haven't.

The Baron Mortaise has
arrested the merchant Hassim.

Part of the jewel was
found amongst his goods.

- Then where is the emerald?

- I don't know. Hassim says
he knows nothing about it.

- Do you believe him, Lancelot?

- Yes, my lady, I do.

I don't think Hassim is a thief.

- Then this will cause still more trouble.

The Rajah has already sent
me a message saying that

if the Madras Emerald
is not found by sundown,

he and his people will leave
the fair and never return.

- And with him will go King Arthur's

dreams of trade with the East.

- Exactly.

When the Rajah finds out
that one of his faith

has been arrested ...

- My lady Guinevere, I have an idea.

You must send a message to
the baron and to the Rajah.

Tell them that the emerald has been found.

Tell them that you will wear it

tomorrow at the reopening of the fair.

- Lancelot, what do you mean?

- Well it's a long chance,
but it's all we've got.

And tell them in the
message that the emerald

has been given to me for safekeeping.

- That's not true, Lancelot.
We don't have the emerald.

- No, but if my plan
works, by tomorrow we will.

- And if it doesn't work?

- It must. It will.

[dramatic music]

[soft music]

- It is said that the
fair will open tomorrow.

- One hears that the Emerald
of Madras has been found

and is in the hands of
a certain Sir Lancelot.

[soft mysterious music]

[lions growling]

[soft mysterious music]

[lions growling]

[soft mysterious music]

- Where's Zuleika?

- In there, crying.

- I thought I told you to stay with her.

- I did. Only I did everything wrong.

I'd tell her things'd be all right,

and she'd say that isn't true.

Then she'd cry.

So I'd agree with her that
things are pretty bad.

That made her cry worse.

I don't understand.

- Well perhaps if you'd
stayed with her, she might--

- But she wanted to be alone.

She's praying to Muhammad. Who's Muhammad?

- He's a wise man, a prophet.

He went to the mountain when the mountain

wouldn't come to him.

And with a bit of luck, Brian,

I'm about to succeed
where Muhammad failed.

- What do you mean?

- I've taken steps to see
that the mountain comes to me.

- I'm sorry, Sir Lancelot,
I don't understand.

- Never mind.

I'll be in my tent if you want me.

And if Zuleika's worried about her father,

why don't you go and see how he is, hm?

- That's a good idea.

[soft music]

- Excuse me, do you know where I can

find the merchant Hassim?

- You're Sir Lancelot's
squire, aren't you?

- Yes, that's right.

- And what would you be wanting
with this here Hassim now?

- [Brian] I wanted to find
out if he was all right

so I could tell his daughter.

- [Guard 1] Well now, you can tell her,

you can tell her he's as
all right as a thief can be,

who's been caught.

- That means I can't see him.

- Not a chance.

Listen, boy, they say your Sir Lancelot

has got that Madras Emerald now.

Come on, tell us. What's it like, eh?

Big as a goose egg.

- [Guard 2] If you ask me,
that Lancelot is a clever one.

- [Guard 1] That's right.

They can do better if they
want anything found out.

Mind you, the emerald's big enough.

- [Guard 2] The one with the broach, why,

it musta been easy, I say.

- [Guard 1] Know something, don't you?

I'd give a lot to handle that emerald.

Though as things turned out,
may be as well I didn't.

There was something
strange about that power.

- [Guard 2] That there was.

And while we're talking about that--

[dramatic music]

[soft suspenseful music]

[Hassim grunting]

[soft suspenseful music]

[music stops]

[soft suspenseful music]

[Lancelot snoring]

[soft suspenseful music]

- Hassim!

I was expecting visitors
but certainly not you.

- I am taking the emerald, Sir Lancelot.

- You won't find it in that purse.

[coins rattling]

- I know that you have it. Give it to me.

- Why are you doing this, Hassim?

- You ask me why.

We are an ancient and proud people.

I know now that you asked
us here only to insult us.

- I know how you feel, Hassim.

And I can assure you that my queen feels

as deeply about this as you do.

But I know that you're innocent.

Otherwise, you wouldn't
have come here tonight.

- If you knew that I was innocent,

why did you remain silent
at the moment of my arrest?

- At the time, I didn't
know. I had to be sure.

- The Madras Emerald
is sacred to my people.

We thought it would mean
something to you too.

If you cannot respect it,

at least I will not
allow you to defile it.

[guards shouting]

The guards.

I have but little time.
Quickly, the emerald.

- Hassim, you must trust me.

Go back, give yourself up.

Give me time to prove
that you're innocent.

- I no longer trust your
words. Quickly, the emerald.

[dramatic music]

- The emerald, quickly.
The emerald, I said.

- Looks as though many mountains

are coming to Muhammad tonight.

- Never mind about Muhammad.

I want that emerald, and I want it now.

- I know you do.

As a matter of fact, I was
hoping you'd come for it.

- Oh you were, were you?

- Yes, Ronk, I was.

- Eh?

- You're not very good
at disguising your voice.

- Never mind about that.
I want that emerald.

- Oh, come now, Ronk.

Weren't you just telling me you'd

given up that sort of thing?

- And I had too, but that was before

I got a look at the emerald.

Sure would be a shame to
pass up something like that.

- A shame it might be, but
pass it up you're going to,

because by coming here tonight,

you've proved to me that
you're not the thief.

Why don't you settle for a clean record?

Clean conscience too.

Put away that Kn*fe, and let's
forget the whole thing, eh?

- Well, I uh, I never had
a clean conscience before.

It feels sorta funny.

- Does it hurt?

- Not yet.

No, no, it uh ...

It feels sort of, sort of
warm, you know what I mean?

- Yes, I think so.

Well, no hard feelings?

- No, not a bit.

Well [clears throat], I'm
off. Back to me tea totems.

[Lancelot laughing]

[light music]

[soft mysterious music]

- Ah, Sir Lancelot, I hear
you've recovered the emerald.

And I understand that the merchant Hassim

was responsible for the theft.

- We didn't finish discussing
your debts, did we, Osbert?

You could make use of the
emerald as well as anyone.

Why didn't you try and take it from me?

Because you knew I didn't have it.

Why?

Because you have it, Osbert.

- This is a trick. You have
no evidence against me.

- Sir Lancelot, is it
true you have the emerald?

- Yes, I think it is.

- Then my father can go free?

- I wouldn't be at all surprised.

Search the tent, you two.

- [Osbert] You can't go in there!

- You hid a part of that
jewel among Hassim's goods.

And then you made sure that
the baron heard about it

so that Hassim would be arrested.

Didn't you?

- No, no!

- Osbert, I don't need to warn you

of the penalty of stealing
the queen's property.

- There's nothing!

- Osbert, where is the emerald?

[lions growling]

- I'll show you.

[lions growling]

[dramatic music]

[Osbert grunting]

- On your feet, Osbert.

[both groaning]

[Osbert screaming]

[Lancelot laughing]

[Osbert screaming]

The bear seems to love everybody, Osbert,

including a thief.

[Osbert screaming]

[soft dramatic music]

- [Osbert] Let go! No, let me out!

Help! Let me go!

Let me go! Let me out of
here, I'll give you anything!

- I have the emerald, Osbert.
I don't want anything else.

- No!

- Guard.

Take him away.

- And once again we
thank the Rajah of Calcua

for his magnificent gift.

And once again, it gives me pleasure

to declare the fair open
and to extend King Arther's

wishes for goodwill and peace
to all peoples everywhere.

[crowd cheering]

[dramatic music]

[upbeat music]

♪ Now listen to my story,
yes listen while I sing ♪

♪ Of days of old in England
when Arthur was the king ♪

♪ Days of old ♪

♪ When knights were bold ♪

♪ This story told of Lancelot ♪

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