02x09 - Bradbury-Lambert Family

[bunniefuu]

Tonight on "supernanny"...

Hello. Nice to meet you.

Jo returns to the u.k. On a mission

To stop the family from splitting down the middle.

The bradbury lamberts' son matthew is out of control.

And their little girl is taking it all in.

When it comes to their kids,

These parents have their favorites,

And no one is willing to give any discipline.

So you can discipline matthew, but nobody else can?

Do you like disciplining him? No.

The hardest part is being his stepdad.

I'm telling her son off, which she's got a big problem with.

Will jo be able to calm this combative kid...

You do not punch and kick your mummy.

And bridge the divide before this family falls apart?

No.

Get off me, you [bleep]!

♪♪♪

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪ ♪ johnny ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪ ♪ johnny ♪

♪ Johnny ♪

Let's take a look and see what family we've got here.

Hi, we're the bradbury lambert family

From swindon in the u.k.

We have three children-- matthew, who's ,

Tegan olivia, who's ,

And we have little baby diesel, who's months old.

Matthew's behavior, to sum up all is...

He is a child from hell

Matthew will turn nasty if he doesn't get laura's,

His mum's attention.

Play with me! Play with me!

Play with me!

He will kick.

Calm down.

He will punch.

He will scream.

[Screaming]

Now. No!

He will throw things around.

This little boy is fartoo aggressive.

There won't be a day which passes when he's not angry.

It can just be a small thing that sets him off.

Matthew will have a tantrum

Around three to four times a day every day.

[Screaming]

When he starts hitting, kicking and punching me,

I do just take what he does.

I just can't believe he behaves like this.

What's he doing to his mother?

If I see matthew hit his mum, kicking and punching,

It makes me very sad, it makes me very angry,

Because I'm not allowed to discipline matthew at all.

I am matthew's stepdad,

And I think laura finds it very hard

For me to discipline him.

Yeah, I must admit that is my biggest flaw.

I'm the only one who can tell matthew off.

I worship the ground he walks on.

He's my baby.

There's a bit of dividing going on in this house.

I'm worried that matthew's sister

Is copying his behavior, and we'll see it develop

Into something even bigger than what it is now.

Matthew uses that word, and that's naughty.

Supernanny, we really need your help.

We've got nowhere to turn.

We don't know what to do to change matthew's behavior

And to prevent tegan from becoming the same child.

You guys desperately need my help.

The fighting's got to stop. I'm on my way.

[Screaming]

Hello. Nice to meet you. Jo.

Hiya. Say hello, matthew.

Hi, matthew. How are you?

Good.

Very pleasantly surprised when I met jo.

Although she's very stern, she's very, very friendly.

Jo. How are you? Look at this little one here.

Hello. Hello.

When jo first arrived,

It was like a big sense of release,

That finally, we may get control of our children.

So what I want to do is just carry on as normal,

And I'm just gonna step by on the backseat as such,

And just watch you, really, and just take notes.

Soon after I started observing the family,

Matthew started pushing mum's buttons.

Matthew, I'm gonna count to three,

And you're gonna be up in your room on time out.

One... Two...

Sit on your bottom, please, now.

No.

Now.

Seems to me like matthew didn't do much

To deserve a time out,

But mum dragged him up to his bedroom anyway.

No! No!

Sit down on the bed, and then you can come out.

Just sit down for five minutes and cool down.

About four or five times a day,

I have to put matthew into time out.

And it tires me out big time,

Because I'm constantly having to stop what we do.

This is how you discipline him? In the bedroom? Yeah.

Matthew got really angry,

And he started to trash his bedroom in protest.

And then he turned on his mum.

[Matthew] I wanna go! Let me out of here!

Let me out! Let me out! Let me out!

And out of the blue, matthew just punched mum in the lip.

She was completely shocked.

He just punched you in the face?

Oh, my word.

I mean, this situation has become completely unnecessary.

Now matthew's got to go and tidy up his bedroom,

And mum has been punched in the lip.

This is just ridiculous.

Later on in the day,

We went to laura and stuart's gym,

Where they teach kickboxing classes.

When we teach and matthew comes to class,

He tends to watch what we're doing and emulate it.

I just wonder if matthew really knows

That he's meant to keep those moves in the gym

And not bring them home.

Coming up on "supernanny"...

While mom and dad battle for a little peace and quiet...

No, no, no, you're gonna kick someone, you kick me, okay?

[Screaming]

Jo sits them down for a few choice words.

He ends up calling you a bitch.

I mean, to draw blood on your own parent--

You lost it.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪♪♪

We left stuart at the gym, and when we got home,

Laura had to put all three children to bed.

Off you go, matthew, for me, please.

Okay. Thank you.

When I put tegan to sleep, matthew will be

Playing downstairs or in his room.

By the time tegan's asleep, matthew is very hyped up

And not at all ready for bed.

I put tegan to bed by taking her up

And sitting with her until she falls asleep.

You better lay down.

No.

Get some sleep now. Why?

Because I said so. No.

Tegan's hardly gonna fall asleep

When mum keeps rewarding her with communication.

As far as tegan's concerned,

There's a great conversation going on.

Going to be a beautiful princess? Yeah.

All right, well, then, close your eyes.

It took about an hour to get tegan olivia off to sleep.

And then stuart got home.

And then mum had to struggle to get matthew to bed.

That hurts. Stop it.

I wanna play!

Matthew becomes very violent.

He kicks and punches when I put him to bed.

No, no, no, you wanna kick someone, you kick me, okay?

You wanna get it out of your system,

You kick me for a bit.

When I see matthew hitting laura,

It just completely destroys me because...

Lord it just brushes off and says hey its just my little baby

Do you feel better for that now?

Is that it? That's what you got?

I couldn't believe that matthew was kicking his mum.

And then stuart turns around and says, "kick me."

What's going on?

Listen to me, and listen to me now, okay?

Stop kicking your mum!

All right. Bed.

No! No!

Good night, matthew.

[Crying]

Ow! Ow! Ow!

It seems to me that there's more punching and kicking going on

In this home than there is in the gym.

And mum and dad are not disciplining matthew at all.

[Screaming]

What'd he just do there? Punch in the nose.

No, I don't, actually.

No, I do not.

It doesn't help the situation when mum pins matthew down

Because he gets angry-- at least a confrontation.

It just spirals out of control.

Take off your school clothes and into that bed.

Otherwise, I'm doing it. One...

I'll go if you stop-- [screams]

No, you won't.

Get yourself undressed.

If you're not undressed in seconds, I will take over.

[Laura] I don't like stuart disciplining matthew

Because I don't' really like anyone disciplining matthew.

As far as I'm concerned, he's my little baby,

And I'm the one that will discipline him how I want to.

The hardest part is being his stepdad

Because it's, like, I can't overstep the mark,

'Cause what's laura gonna feel about me?

I'm telling her son off, which she's got a big problem with.

It frustrates me because I know that

He shouldn't be behaving like this.

Does it also frustrate you as well

That you have to sit and watch laura go through that?

It really does frustrate me when he kicks his mum

Because, obviously, downstairs, she looked pretty winded.

And what I really wanna do is take them to bed--

"Laura, sit down. Let me deal with this."

It's quite sad because stuart really wants to intervene,

But mum feels she's the only person

Who should be allowed to discipline matthew.

After about an hour and a half, matthew calmed down,

And laura sat with him for the entire evening

Until he fell asleep.

It's been an hour and a half now.

Yeah, long night. Yeah, a long night.

I have lots more to do now.

I've seen more than enough of the bradbury lamberts' issues.

And tomorrow morning,

I'm gonna sit down and have a family meeting.

I saw a lot yesterday.

Yes.

Took mental notes.

I would love to sit down with the pair of you now and discuss.

I'm a little bit on edge

About what jo's about to say to us today,

Wondering what sorts of things she's gonna change,

The ways which me and laura have been doing

For the last couple of years.

This is gonna be a very nervous time for us both,

I think, because this is time when jo's going to be

Very direct with us

And give us a lot of home truths that we have to accept.

Matthew's aggression has got to stop.

Has got to stop.

When I look at matthew, all I can see,

All I can see is this beautiful boy that's very smart,

And yet there's no room for him to breathe.

I mean, let's take yesterday.

He didn't listen.

He didn't do as he was told,

And he was placed up into his room,

And you held the door, laura.

Tick tock, tick tock, boom. He lost it.

Trashed his room, kick in the door.

He ends up calling you a bitch,

Which is just absolutely disgusting.

And if actually he can behave that way

To his parents

And nothing be done about that,

Then that's what he'll take outside.

I mean, to draw blood on your own parent

Because you've lost control is sad.

And, stuart, you don't make it any better

Because you turn around and you say,

"If you're wound up, take it out on me.

"Take it out on me. Go on, punch me.

Go on, punch me, kick me."

Because I know in a controlled manner,

That he can do that.

I'd rather do it to me to try and teach him

He can't do that to his mum.

Has it worked, laura?

It hasn't stopped him.

You're matthew's parent.

So if you allow him to do that to you,

It states that he can do the same to mum.

Why don't you allow stuart to discipline?

Because I don't like him doing it.

I don't like anybody disciplining him.

Why?

I don't know.

It's just because he's mine, I suppose.

So you can discipline matthew?

Yeah.

But nobody else can?

No.

But you don't discipline matthew.

No, 'cause I don't like doing it.

Because?

He's my little baby.

And who's your baby?

Tegan olivia.

Do you know how sad that is for me?

To sit at this table

And actually hear the pair of you

Divide your own family, when actually,

You should be sitting here feeling blessed

With what you all have.

True.

When jo said the family's divided,

It was a shock, but it made me realize

Just how badly divided we are.

See, you got to come together with this.

There's a big release of stress.

The fact that someone had recognized what I was feeling.

Both will get your hands dirty?

Definitely. Mm-hmm.

So we'll get started then.

Brilliant.

Coming up on "supernanny"...

Do this-- breathe through your nose.

When jo introduces the new techniques,

Matthew comes out kicking.

Do not kick me, otherwise,

You will be in trouble with me, matthew.

And mom realizes that she is part of the problem...

[Jo] it's you that hates leaving matthew.

Yeah.

It's not matthew. No, it's me.

When "supernanny" returns.

But first, a tip from supernanny.

Hey, parents, do yourself a favor.

If you're going on a car journey,

Make sure you bring lots of toys and games for the children.

Otherwise, they're gonna get bored.

Keep their minds occupied

So that you can keep your mind on the road.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good ♪

Normally on the first day of teaching,

I come in and I set them up with a routine.

But in this case, I'm gonna set this family up

With some good, basic house rules.

Look what I've got here.

Household rules.

"No kicking, no punching or hitting."

Now if you're in the gym and you're hitting mummy

Because you've got boxing gloves on

Or daddy in the gym, that's okay.

But if it's not in the gym, that behavior is unacceptable.

Don't do that to other people, okay?

[Laura] I think with the household rules,

The hardest part is going to be

The kicking and punching with matthew.

While he's not in a temper,

He can see the household rules and see how good they are.

But once he loses temper, I think he's going to have

A real difficulty with them.

Matthew's got a lot of anger and rage,

And he needs something to help him manage that,

So I'm going to introduce to him the chill-out chair.

If you break those household rules

And mummy and daddy give you a warning,

And if you decide to carry on and behave naughty,

Mummy and daddy are gonna send you

To your chill-out chair.

Just sitting in the chair is not gonna be enough for matthew,

Because he needs to learn

Another way to vent off some of that anger

Instead of punching and kicking his mum.

You're gonna look at this chart,

And you're gonna work it out.

If you feel that when mummy and daddy

Tell you to do something

And you start to get angry, I want you to blow it out.

Can you do this?

[Inhales] breathe through your nose.

Soon after I showed mum and dad the discipline techniques,

Matthew kicked off with a huge tantrum.

I'll start, okay? Matthew.

Deal with this.

You're gonna have to deal with it straight away. Matthew.

Don't say nothing to him. Just grab him by his hands.

Remember, he's not stronger than you.

Just put him on the chair and say nothing.

All right, move away.

Mum was really struggling to control matthew,

So I had to step in.

You do not--you do not punch and kick your mummy.

Get off me!

Look. Remember the chart, matthew?

Matthew didn't want to chill out,

And his temper spiraled completely out of control.

It was new territory for him.

He hasn't been disciplined in that way before

And it was strange,

And he wanted to go back to what felt comfortable for him.

Do not kick me, otherwise,

You will be in trouble with me, matthew.

[Screaming]

Shut up!

Finally, matthew calmed down.

And mum got him to finish the technique.

Tell him to look at you.

[Laura] look at me. Tell him to breathe through his nose.

Breathe through your nose. Do like mummy.

And out. And blow out the candles.

This is the behavior we want to see.

A calm matthew, okay? Not one that gets angry.

[Laura] I wanted to give up within about , minutes.

I just thought, this isn't working.

But it was worth this hour and a half tantrum beforehand

To get the end result.

He threw the book in today because you remained calm.

And so you have to elevate his temper.

It may take you a couple of more times...

Yeah. To go through this.

But it will get better.

I don't think he actually realizes how angry he gets.

It does upset me, because I do feel that

There is no need for him to be that way.

And I just need to learn how

To prevent him getting to that stage.

[Jo] matthew's been allowed

To get away with this behavior for so long.

If his parents learn to change, then he will,

And he'll follow through.

Okay, we're going to do lots of good things.

[Jo] in the evening, matthew gets really excited

When mum's putting tegan to bed,

So I've introduced the stay in bed technique,

Which will help matthew go to sleep at night.

Tonight, mummy's going to

Put the football lights in your room so they light up.

And then you're going to have

Some lovely story time with mummy.

Then mummy's going to kiss you good night

And give you cuddles and kisses, okay?

And then she's gonna go downstairs,

Because she's got things to do downstairs.

Are you're gonna be a good boy and go to sleep, okay?

It's important to create a bedtime routine

That's calm and very soothing for the children.

Tonight, I'm going to make sure that mum reads matthew a story

And stays in his room to settle him

Before she implements the stay in bed technique.

[Laura] we are very desperate for a better routine.

We need to be able to go up and put the children to bed

And walk away.

It would be amazing.

[Jo] if he comes down,

You need to say, "it's bedtime, darling."

Okay? Take him by the hand up to his bed and tuck him in.

Okay?

If he does it a second time, I want you to say, "bedtime."

Take him by the hand, tuck him into bed and come out.

And the third time, you say nothing.

[Jo] we didn't even have to follow through with

The rest of the steps, 'cause matthew stayed in his bed.

It's you that hates leaving matthew. Yeah.

It's not matthew. No, it's me.

[Laura] I didn't know whether I was happy

Or whether I was sad, really, at first,

'Cause I kind of felt that I wasn't needed.

Whereas, as opposed with matthew not going to sleep,

I always felt that he needed me there.

Once you start having the balance

And spending quality time with matthew,

You won't feel the need to latch on to him.

No.

Because half of his "mummy, mummy"--

Is me. Is what you have made happen.

You've created that. Yeah.

It was a really amazing moment

Because mum realized for the first time

That she didn't need to be there for matthew to fall asleep.

Coming up on "supernanny"...

When things start flying...

What was that? No.

Dad gets a chance to step up.

You're sitting on this stair

Because I've asked you to eat your dinner,

And you're not doing as you're told.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

The bradbury lamberts are essentially

Two separate families living under one roof.

And they need to come together as a unit

Before it's too late.

Today, as a family,

You're gonna go out and have some fun and play, all right?

And then afterwards, you're gonna sit down

And have a picnic together.

To go out together as a family

Is a very exciting experience.

It's something we haven't done.

Or when we have done, it has been a complete disaster.

[Jo] these children both need the attention of their parents,

So I'm gonna ask laura and stuart to

Hang out with a child that they don't normally spend time with.

What I wanna encourage is,

Dad, you spending a lot of time with matthew,

And giving him lots of praise and self-assurance

About how well he's doing on the apparatus here.

And, laura, likewise with tegan.

[Laura] it felt great seeing matthew and stuart together.

It's something I've always wanted.

But I suppose it's something

I've always stopped from happening.

[Stuart] I saw laura play with tegan,

It was kind of heartbreaking because it's my little girl,

And I thought I was losing her to laura,

But I also felt relieved that

She was gaining that company from her mum.

You've got matthew playing with stu

And not looking for me every two minutes

To see where I am and see what I'm doing.

And same with tegan olivia. She's not running around

Trying to find her dad every five minutes.

So it's lovely.

[Stuart] jo said that we are a family divided in half,

Where it would be laura and matthew

And myself and tegan olivia.

We didn't realize the damage we had done to our own family.

[Jo] when they got back from the park,

It was time for dinner,

And tegan olivia started to kick off.

What was that? No.

Right.

Okay, so use your voice and say, "get down from the table.

Eat your dinner and be a good girl."

Tegan olivia, I'd like you to sit down,

And I'd like you to eat your dinner.

I think I am probably soft on tegan olivia.

Maybe I should find a way to tell her off correctly

Without having to feel bad about it.

Tegan, please, will you sit down for me?

Tegan, I would like you to sit back at the table, please.

She got up from the table and completely ignored her dad.

Want you to come down to her level and say to her,

"Daddy wants you to come to the table

"And eat some dinner now, please.

"If you don't listen to daddy,

You're gonna have to sit on the naughty step."

Tegan?

Tegan?

After you've had your dinner. Please?

But tegan olivia ignored the warning.

And it was time for her to go on that naughty step.

I'm gonna start taking you to the naughty chair now.

Okay, put it through.

If you use your voice, follow through.

You need to sit down here. Sit down.

Now listen to daddy. You're sitting on this step

'Cause I've asked you to eat your dinner,

And you're not doing as you're told, okay?

No, don't push me, 'cause that would upset me.

Please sit down here.

You're gonna sit here for one minute.

[Jo] two and a half minutes. For two and a half minutes.

Sit down there. Good girl. Stay there.

I find it really hard to discipline tegan olivia.

Being my little girl, it just melts my heart

Every time I'm cross with her,

So I don't really discipline her.

Because she's young, it won't take long

For her to understand that you mean what you say,

And you adopted the correct tone of voice,

Which was marvelous.

Da-da!

Da-da!

[Jo] once tegan olivia's time was up,

It was time to get an apology.

I want you to go back over to the step, okay?

And say, "daddy sat you here

"Because you didn't do as you were told,

"And I want you to eat."

Don't ask her, tell her.

"I want you to eat some of your dinner," okay?

"What do you say? Say sorry."

Right. "Okay. Let's sit down and let's eat."

What I would like you to do is be a big girl,

And I need you to eat with daddy.

Okay.

Can we say sorry?

And let's go back to the table, and I would like to see you eat.

Can we do that?

Good girl.

Let's say it. Good girl.

After the initial two minutes, which was requested,

She did very well,

And I was pleased that I could do it.

Okay, we're gonna sit down in here now.

Tonight, it's daddy's turn.

Part of the healing process is to make sure that stuart

Spends a lot of time with matthew.

So tonight, we're gonna have stuart put matthew to bed

So they can bond and develop their relationship.

For the first time, I put matthew to bed,

There's no tantrums.

We had hugs, we had fun, and seeing him fall asleep

And I'd done that,

It made me feel great.

Made me feel like a dad

Rather than the outsider I've always been.

All right, guys, I'm off home.

I'm gonna leave you both

To carry on implementing the techniques

That you've learned whilst I've been here.

So keep at it.

Give me a hug, you.

Thank you very much.

Keep it up, okay?

Take care. Keep up the hard work.

Although we've made real progress here,

Realistically, matthew's anger

Is not going to disappear overnight.

So it is important that laura and stuart work together

To maintain those techniques

So they've got a handle on matthew's flare-ups.

Jo's always been there to give us that extra bit of support.

With her gone,

We're gonna be sort of on our own again,

And it's gonna be pretty scary,

So I don't want her to go.

Coming up on "supernanny"...

Ha-cha!

No, if you're gonna punch, you stay out there.

When jo leaves, things come crashing down...

Aah!

And mom desperately needs jo's help...

[Matthew] you stupid [bleep].

When "supernanny" returns.

But first, a tip from supernanny.

Parents, are you driving yourself crazy

Trying to get you and your kids organized

Before you leave the house?

Then if so, find a tidy basket,

Place everything inside it,

And make sure you leave it in one spot

So you know where it is.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good ♪

I've left the family now,

So let's just see how they get on without me.

How you doin', big guy?

[Jo] that's great.

Dad's picking up matthew from school.

You gonna run down the hill?

Yep! I'll race ya.

And stop.

Well done.

Count how many circles there are.

[Matthew] five. Well done. Okay.

So grab yourself a bit.

[Jo] this is really good to see.

Dad's spending time with matthew,

Helping him with his homework.

Aah!

[Jo] uh-oh.

Looks like matthew's tryin' to get mom's attention again.

No, let go. Let go!

What? Don't.

[Screams]

You do not behave like this, please.

You do not hold my arms, you [bleep].

You either work it out...

This language is unacceptable, matthew.

Okay, I'm sorry. Now stop it.

[Jo] laura, don't forget, you're stronger than him.

Pick him up, put him in that chair

And calm him down.

You broke the household rules.

You-- you need to chill out.

You need to chill out.

[Jo] put him on the chill-out chair, laura.

Get control of the situation.

No, if you're gonna punch, you stay out there.

I don't want any of it, please. Stop it.

Put it down, turn 'round, and work it out.

You'll be cleaning all this up when you're finished.

Out you go. Calm down. Deep breaths.

Show me your deep breaths.

[Jo] stick with it, mom. He's trying.

Now do five star jumps. Come on, five star jumps.

Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!

See, that's angry. That's not-- aah!

See, that's angry again.

Deep breaths, deep breaths.

Aah!

Now sit in there and calm down.

You can.

You can do the chart.

Ohh!

All right, you stop it now and you work it out.

And you let me go. I wanna go. I wanna go.

[Jo] not going to beat you?

Then what just happened there?

[Stuart] tegan.

Yes.

Calm down, please. Come on.

Right.

You are sitting on the naughty step, okay,

One, for slapping daddy, okay,

And not doing what you're being asked.

Okay?

I'm trying to cook you a dinner,

And you're not helping me by doing as your told.

[Jo] no. No conversation, dad.

Put her on the step and walk away.

I'm not.

You are, tegan. For two minutes, you're gonna stay there.

Okay, two minutes, please.

No, no, no, no!

Back on the step, please.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

No, no, no. No.

[Laughs]

[Jo] who's in charge now?

No, no, no, no.

Okay, tegan olivia.

Yeah.

Okay, although you haven't

Sat on the step for two minutes, okay,

You have come back to here every time.

Now dinner's almost ready, okay?

So I want you to go and play for a couple more minutes, okay?

As soon as I call you to the table,

You come straight to the table,

Do you understand?

[Jo] oh, no. Tegan's time wasn't up,

And you let her get up from the step.

How is she going to learn?

Okay, things are calm.

The end.

Let's see if you can get out of the room.

Mummy.

Aah! You stupid [bleep].

No!

[Jo] laura, follow the steps.

You're supposed to put him back into bed.

Yeah, that might be an idea to do that now.

Why are you guys just ignoring him?

That is not helping.

Ugh!

Get away! No, no!

[Jo] good, you passed him off to stuart.

[Stuart speaking softly]

Stuart!

You've just disregarded the technique.

That's not going to help, is it?

[Sighs] you guys have regressed.

I'm on my way back.

Had a good look at some footage.

So let's take a look at what I've seen

And go through it.

Let go!

Ha! Ha-cha!

Put it down, turn 'round, and work it out.

[Matthew yells]

She says, tidying up the toys,

Putting away the stuff that goes back into the cupboard.

Let me tell you what that was.

That was matthew gettin' away-- with m*rder.

He knows that to be destructive,

To be able to break things, will gain your attention.

And right now,

You've got to...

Get rid of that issue.

All right.

Matthew, back in your bedroom,

Otherwise, I put your horsey back now.

No.

Aah! You stupid [bleep].

No!

Mummy! Mummy!

See how that causes him to get angry?

Yeah.

So here...

I think I want to pull my hair out and go "aah!'

[Laura] see, that's what I think.

Use--use the technique.

Okay, we're back to square one again here, laura.

And it's gonna take you

Twice as along to start implementing that

If you don't use that technique.

It was a shock

And it was a real eye-opener, and I needed to see that

To realize how quick I can slip back

To the way it was.

Get away!

No, no, no!

I'm really glad that you handed over,

And said, stuart, take care of this.

But, stuart, you didn't use the technique either.

You got into bed with him.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.yes.

Actually, what that represents to matthew

Is a break in unity between the pair of you.

Sure.

Stop it.

Stop.

No, no, no, no.

Tegan. No.

Calm down, please. Come on.

[Whines]

Right...

You do not smack daddy.

Okay, I would've liked to have seen

A warning there, stuart, okay? Yeah.

[Cries]

Wait, daddy.

No, no, no, no.

Now, tegan olivia. Yeah.

Okay, although you haven't sat

On this step for two minutes, okay?

Dinner's almost ready, okay?

I want you to go and play for a couple more minutes, okay?

And soon as I call you to the table,

You come straight to the table,

Do you understand?

Go on, okay? I'm gonna bring your din-dins now.

Bet daddy definitely needed that hug more than tegan.

I mean, she wanted to go off and play

After she said sorry.

And you were still there, holding on for a bit more.

I wasn't quite sure how to take that,

Probably 'cause I felt bad

About putting her on the naughty step,

And I needed that reassurance, and tegan gave me that.

Everything was okay.

Don't feel guilty.

She's not gonna turn around and love you any less.

She's gonna respect you.

The pair of you are definitely still feeling

Awful inside... Yes.

To be disciplining. Yeah.

And you've got to get over that.

You've got to understand that you are going to make

Your life and the children's better.

[Laura] I thought that I'd let myself down.

I also felt like I'd let jo down

After all the hard work that she put in.

I need to get a lot tougher for this to work

And for matthew's behavior to be how I want it to be

So that we can have an enjoyable family life.

So there's definitely some work that needs tweaking here.

Okay?

And what I'm gonna do is work with the pair of you,

Because you need to master each step within the technique

So that you can do it correctly.

Coming up on "supernanny"...

The kids are still running wild...

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

You can come back into the room

When you've stopped being destructive. You [bleep].

Leaving jo with a lot more to teach...

Give her the choice, you can sit down and play nicely

But if you do that,

Then you're gonna end up on the naughty step.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

[Jo] after watching the dvd, we got down to business.

Stuart was playing with the other children,

And tegan olivia, she got really rambunctious.

[Talking indistinctly]

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Tegan.

Tegan olivia...

Don't let her go because she's smacking you.

Right, tegan olivia--

You say "do as you're told."

You do not hit me.

You do not pinch and you do not shout at me. Give her the choice--

You can sit down and play nicely,

But if you do that,

Then you're gonna end up on the naughty step.

If you're gonna destruct,

We're just gonna go to the step.

You can play nice with me and matthew

Or you can sit on the naughty step.

Okay, follow through.

Pick her up, put her on the step,

And she knows she's got to stay there.

Tegan, I'm sitting you on the naughty step

Because you did not do as you were asked to do

And your behavior was unacceptable.

Tegan spent two and a half minutes on the step,

And then I asked dad to go back and get that apology.

"I want you to say sorry."Yeah.

Okay? "I want you to say sorry, tegan olivia."

If she doesn't then say sorry...

Sorry.

You put--there we go.

You put her straight back onto the step... Sorry.

And you walk away 'cause you know she can say it.

What she's trying to do is find that gap in between

To laugh and defuse it,

But then if you laugh back because you find it's cute,

Then she thinks it's a game,

And that's where it becomes mixed messages for her.

When I placed tegan olivia on the naughty step,

It felt very hard.

With the encouragement from jo, it became a lot more easier,

But it still felt--

It was pullin' at my heart, big-time.

[Jo] later on, matthew tried to get mum's attention

So he started up that aggression all over again.

No.

I will not have this behavior, matthew.

No, you need to ask me nicely and you need to calm down.

Right, you need to start trying to work it out. No.

Take deep breaths. No!

So what I want to say to you is just make sure that you illuminate this anger.

Which means you gonna tell him to work it out and stop talking to you like that,

And you gonna have to implement discipline if necessarily

If he won't sit in the chill-out chair,

What do we do if he's still behaving like that?

We put him in the hallway.

All right, matthew, you can come back into the room

When you stop being destructive.

Okay?

When you can be nice.

You [bleep].

No, if you're gonna continue to kick,

Out of the room. No!

No, matthew, I won't have this behavior

Out of you, please.

Whoa! Ah!

Not gonna make me.

What you can do is you can walk him to the chair

And you can show him how to start off the chart. [Matthew] no!

To breathe through his nose and out through his mouth,

You could do that.

But this time,

Instead of engaging in conversation with him,

She takes him straight to the chill-out chair.

Breathe in through your nose. Go... [Inhales]

[Exhales]

[Jo] and matthew stayed in the chair.

I think he's realized that she's not prepared

To tolerate his aggression anymore.

And she's learned how to approach it differently.

Matthew, can you sit down for a minute?

Look at me.

Okay, you've done your five minutes.

You've done very well.

Okay, I want an apology

For the way that you behaved for mummy.

All right. Come here. Big hugs and kisses.

After seeing the tantrum end

And him sitting in the chill-out chair,

It will work. It will be a hard and long process,

But it will really work

And be very beneficial to us both.

[Jo] tonight has been a fantastic breakthrough

For mum.

Matthew started to have a temper tantrum

And startedto kick and punch laura.

And she has done extremely well

In implementing the chill-out technique.

So listen, take care. Thank you.

You're welcome. You are more than welcome.

I'm really proud of laura and stuart

Because I feel that they've really come a long way.

They've put a lot of hard work into being where they are now.

Keep up with your hard work. Will do.

Okay? You didn't do it for nothing. No.

Keep up that confidence, all right? Follow through. Okay.

Thank you very much.

Thanks, jo.

Take care.

When I first walked into this house,

It was one that was divided,

And matthew's temper tantrums ahd spiraled out of control.

Now they have boundaries.

And together as a family, they're closer.

We are a lot closer.

We are now a family unit

That has a very strong bond.

[Stuart] what jo has done for our family

Has been absolutely amazing.

And it's actually brought us closer together

Than we've ever been before, and we're a lot more happier.

Matthew is a lot less aggressive now.

He doesn't swear, doesn't kick, he doesn't punch.

It's like having a totally different boy,

And it is lovely.

Tegan has changed quite a fair amount.

She's begun to realize that daddy will be there,

And she's also made an amazing bond with her mum.

It feels like jo's given us back

A family that's a lot better than it was before.

I never thought that we'd ever be like this.

Now laura's allowed me

To be part of matthew's life

And discipline him and spend more time with him,

I feel like a dad who--

Which I've wanted to be.

Thank you, jo.

I like having fun with mummy and daddy now.

[Laura] we're very happy with what jo's given us.

She's given us everything that we always wanted, really.

Come here... Look that way.

[Stuart] I'm beginning to realize now

That family life together as a unit

Is a lot more fun,

A lot more happier than it's ever been.

Stand here.

Turn 'round. Turn 'round.

♪♪♪

[Sheep bleats]

[Kissing sound]

[Bell dings]

Ok right we will take teddy down with you then and make sure you